You’ve already heard the basics: ADHD isn’t just for boys. Autism isn’t all hand-flapping. Great. But what about the deeper stuff?

In this solo episode, Jane takes a sledgehammer to the most persistent, harmful, and advanced myths that are still sabotaging ADHD and autistic women.

From the dangerous praise of ‘high functioning’ to the weaponisation of executive function, performative neurodiversity, and the false promise that meds fix everything—this is the truth the awareness campaigns skip.

If you’ve ever been told you’re ‘too capable to struggle’, ‘too smart to be ADHD’, or ‘too emotional to be taken seriously’, this episode is your armour.

💡 What We Cover:

• Why ‘high functioning’ is just ‘high masking’—and why it’s killing us slowly

• How executive function gets twisted into shame and perfectionism

• Why medication is support, not salvation

• The deeply gendered myth of what autism ‘looks like’ in kids

• Neuroaffirming ≠ letting your child do whatever they want

• Why your nervous system needs more than a planner and good intentions

• The hidden cost of chasing ‘normal’ as a goal

• How parenting myths keep mums stuck in shame, guilt, and silence

🔗 Resources & Links:

• 📚 Research cited:

  • Hull et al. (2020) on camouflaging in ADHD & autism

  • Brown’s Executive Function Model (ADD Warehouse)

  • Lye & Baron-Cohen (2015) on misdiagnosis in girls

  • Dvorsky (2016) on long-term neurodivergent outcomes

  • Dr Mona Delahooke on co-regulation & scaffolding

• 🎧 Related episodes:
•  Ep 20 – The Worst Assessment Process Ever

• SCHOOL SERIES - When School Becomes the Trauma — What No One Tells ADHD Parents

• The Worst Assessment Process Ever: A Cautionary Tale

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  • Listen in Spotify
  • Listen in Apple

LISTEN NOW:

If you’ve ever been told you’re ‘fine’ because you’re functioning — or you’ve questioned your diagnosis because you still can’t get organised — this episode is the recalibration you didn’t know you needed.

Send it to a friend. A partner. A GP. Anyone who still doesn’t get it.

#ADHDMumsPodcast #HighMasking #NeurodivergentMyths #ADHDAndMedication #ExecutiveDysfunction #Camouflaging #AutismInGirls #NeurodivergentBurnout #ADHDFatigue #MentalLoadMatters #NeuroaffirmingParenting #JaneMcFaddenPodcast

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COLLABS:

For collaborations or speaking engagements, email me at jane@adhdmums.com.au.

MORE RESOURCES:

Still unsure if ADHD or autism applies to you or your child? Take my recommended self-tests here.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

High masking ADHD, high functioning myth, ADHD and executive dysfunction, medication and burnout, autism myths in children, neuroaffirming parenting, parenting neurodivergent kids, mental load of diagnosis, late-diagnosed ADHD women, emotional regulation myths, ADHD and trauma overlap, gender bias in autism, ADHD toolkit for mums, camouflaging in ADHD women, ADHD shame, parenting without guilt