A Love Language Minute

If you don't get good results from doing a task but you don't ask for input from someone you trust, you won't improve or grow. You'll always win when you ask for input.

Communication is the lifeline for a growing marriage. So what do you do when your spouse won't talk? Don't condemn them. Instead, ask them questions about a topic they're interested in.

Dr. Gary Chapman's seminars aren't only for married couples. Engaged couples and even single adults attend as well.

Which kind of person are you - messy or a neat freak? This can lead to tremendous frustration within a relationship. Make requests for change, not demands. Love accepts many imperfections - the things that one can not or will not change.

What is the loving thing to do when your adult child moves back home? Establish time limits to their stay. Formulate a financial agreement. Respect the need for privacy.

The process of getting to know each other in a dating relationship requires that there be lots of communication. If one struggles to communicate, begin to develop good communication skills early on.

It's not uncommon for adult children to move back home. Meet with  your child and find out what their plans are moving forward. What is their exit plan. Approach the plan step by step. Setting small goals is better than no goals at all.

The five love languages are dispersed relatively evenly between men and women. The important thing is for you to learn the primary love language of your spouse.

Can a wide age gap pose a problem in marrying someone? It depends on the gap. The older both individuals are, the more likely it is for the marriage to work.

The boomerang generation - it's when your older children leave but then move back home. This can be very challenging for the parents. Don't be afraid to talk to other parents who can share with you how they were able to handle it.

How can you have healthy Interactions with others on political issues? The very first step is to listen to them without being judgmental and ask them questions. Then ask them if they're willing to hear your side.

When you're angry, be sure to get all the facts before you take action. It's easy to jump to conclusion about what someone did or said. Ask questions and make sure you understand all the facts.

How important is it to know all the secrets of your spouse's past? Be sensitive and don't force him to share thing he doesn't want to share. If God has forgiven him, allow him to choose the things about which he's willing to share.

How important is it to get your future in-law's blessing before marrying their daughter? It's definitely ideal. Take time to honestly consider the areas of their concern and admit that they might be right. In the end, you don't always have to base your decision on the blessing of your potential in-laws.

Taking positive steps toward dealing with anger is essential. God can use our anger in a positive way if you're willing to admit that you're angry, confront the person who's wronged you, then seek reconciliation.

We find it easy to point out the negative areas in others, but struggle to point out any of our own. The Bible instructs us to remove the log in our own eye before trying to remove the speck in someone else's eye.

Anger between families members is not uncommon. Don't let it fester. Instead, ask the person with whom you're angry if it's a good time to talk. Get it out in the open, and agree to find a solution to the problem in an agreeable and positive way.

It's very discouraging when your in-laws don't think you're good enough for their daughter. The best approach is to focus on being the person your wife needs you to be. Perhaps in the future, your in-laws may change their minds about you.

How can you bring the spark back into your marriage? The best way is to learn to speak your spouse's love language, and do it consistently.

We get angry when our sense of right is violated. Share your anger with someone in a positive manner, then let it go. Anger was never meant to move in permanently - it should only be a visitor.

Most of us are self-centered. We strive to achieve our goals but often lose our marriages in the process. If we aim to build our marriages while at the same time building our careers, both spouses win.

Many Christians pride themselves in holding back their anger; but internalizing anger is very unhealthy. The Biblical challenge is that when we experience anger, we are to process it in a positive way.

What does "in love" mean? The word love means many things to many people. Feeling "in love" means exactly that - a feeling. Feeling "in love" doesn't necessarily mean you should marry that person.

How can you win back your girlfriend after a breakup? You can make an effort to win her back, but you can't make her love you. Be prepared to accept that your relationship is over, then trust God to bring along someone who's best for you.

Why is it that raising children seems to keep you from maintaining a growing marriage? Maybe it's because you haven't managed your time well. Be intentional about scheduling time with your spouse.

Do you or your spouse make excuses for having an affair? Remind yourself that your marriage is a covenant with your spouse. The responsibility rests upon both you to confront, repent and restore your marriage.

Do you feel you have enough time to invest in your marriage and your parenting? Yes! The problem isn't time; it's how you schedule your time.

How do you get your boyfriend to speak your love language - words of affirmation? You can't make someone speak your love language, but you can influence them by speaking to them in their love language.

Should you be concerned about your fiancé's past physical relationships with other women? Absolutely. Typically, if someone is sexually involved before marriage, the probability of straying sexually after marriage is quite high.

Which is the greater priority - marriage or parenting? The truth is, they are both priorities. You'll regret it if you neglect either one.

Your husband has reconnected with a past girlfriend. This naturally brings back strong feelings. But remember, a marriage requires that we leave the past behind and focus on the deep bond that a marital union is meant to have.

How do you keep your marriage alive now that your children have arrived? Children are a blessing from God, but children can also cause marital neglect. If you see your marriage drifting apart because you're consumed with raising your children, it's time to make a course correction.

How does it make you feel when your husband says younger women are more beautiful than you are? It's tremendously hurtful. Just remember that if you're walking with God, the more beautiful you become from within.

What should you do when you've been dating for a while and no longer feel those "in love" feelings? If you plan to marry, learn to speak each other's love language so you'll be able keep emotional warmth in your marriage.

You must admit that when your children are born, it greatly affects your marital relationship. Raising your children can become all consuming. Your children and your marriage should both be prioritized, but your marriage should be your main priority.

Marriage isn't God's design to make each other miserable. God ordained marriage because two are better than one. When the husband and wife reach out to serve each other, they both become winners.

From a Biblical perspective, the purpose of life is not to accomplish our own objectives but to glorify God. Our busy lives tend to direct our thoughts toward ourselves and our family. But as you serve your family, you are serving God.

It's difficult to stay pure before marriage. When you deeply love each other emotionally, the natural progression becomes physical. The physical aspect of love is not the foundation of a good marriage. Covenant with each other that you will not become physically involved until after marriage.

How can couples learn to communicate better? If both spouses don't talk a lot, they should prepare a list of questions to ask each other. Answering those questions will get the communication ball rolling.

The book of Ecclesiastes says "Two are better than one". The marriage relationship is seen in the Bible as a friendship. Husbands and wives are meant to compliment each other.

What is the attitude we should have toward our wives? We should have the attitude of Christ. Christ modeled how to love and serve others.

At the heart of the Christian marriage is the idea of Unity. God said the two should become one. Marriage is designed to satisfy that deep desire for intimacy.

Should you stay in an abusive marriage for the sake of your children? If the abuse is physical or constant verbal abuse, it's best to separate for the protection of yourself and for the good of your children.

How do you go about helping your fiancé discover their love language? Begin by encouraging them to read Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages.

In today's culture, it's more important than ever that the Church be the entity to teach us marriage skills.

Reading Dr. Gary Chapman's book "The Five Languages" will invigorate relationships of every kind.

Marriage between a man and a woman is the central building block in every human society. It is also true that a monogamous lifelong marriage is the universal cultural norm.

Living together before marriage is never a good idea. Statistics show that when people choose to live together before marriage, they're marriage is much more likely to fail.

Stress and Anxiety can often be the source of problems with intimacy in a marriage.

Today's culture tries to influence our our teens in so many arenas. But remember, you as their parent will still have the greatest influence on them.