Past History

Published Sep 11, 2024, 5:00 AM

Are you obligated to tell your wife about your past history? Not necessarily. By telling her, you might relieve some of the burden of your past, but you might also be adding a new burden on her - the knowledge of your past. Seek Godly counsel on the matter.

This is a love language minute. A listener writes Gary, I've been married for 12 years and have done some things that I am not proud of in the past, before marriage. Am I obligated to tell my wife.

If those things are likely to be discovered by your spouse in the future? That is, their friends that know about all these things that are likely to share them with her. Then it's far better that it come from you than coming from your friends. But on the other hand, I would not take the guilt that you feel and now share that with your wife. You alleviate your guilt, and now she lives under a tremendous emotional burden over what you did in the past. I wouldn't do that if I were you, unless I talked with a counselor about the wisdom of doing that. It's not always best to share with a spouse everything that happened in your life before you got married.

Doctor Gary Chapman is the author of The Five Love Languages. For more answers, visit Start Marriage Right.com.

A Love Language™ Minute

A Love Language™ Minute draws from Dr. Gary Chapman's years of counseling experience, excerpts from  
Social links
Follow podcast
Recent clips
Browse 1,462 clip(s)