Andrew DePaola gave us the inside scoop on the way the league drug tests! 

Andrew DePaola talks about how C.J. Ham deserves to be the man of the year! 

We discussed things that are normal to have one of but strange to have two of! 

Nick taught Josh what porno music videos are! 

We went through a list of some cold hard truths

We learned from Odell Beckham Jr. that it is difficult to make 100 million dollars last a lifetime!

Nick informed us that retiring sports athletes are being given planes now. 

We discovered why some moms get so fired up at their children's sporting events!

After the terrible showing from Minnesota yesterday, we discussed whether or not it is time for the Vikings to tank the rest of their season. 

We asked MN Wild Marcus Foligno what he thinks the deal is with all these weird injuries in the NHL! 

We talked about the downside and the upside to your dad being on the same sports team as you!

A man was shot in the booty by his dog! 

Captain Gordan Shank has had ENOUGH with the ground effects! 

Josh proved that it is CORRECT that bald people are better at sports that people with hair... 

Nick described how it would go down if he stopped and had a beer at a porno bar. 

Nick explained how he showers like a REAL MAN. 

Using bar soap instead of body wash is what a bitch does. 

Marine Veteran and Brotherhood member Zach Johnson joined the Half-Assed Morning Show today to talk about Roger Up - a program he founded for Veterans & First Responders struggling with their mental health. ROGER UP exists to give veterans, first responders and their families an outlet, outdoors resources, and tools to live their best life giving them a chance to escape and reorient themselves to begin to heal. Find out more about ROGER UP at RogerUp.org

Magic Erasers can clean everything! 

We asked Depo for his opinion on the reason why former Viking Matt Kalil got a divorce! 

Marcus Foligno came out as a Swiftie this morning! 

Tom Brady cloned his dog, and HAMS agreed that you should be saving the dogs from the Sarah McLachlan commercials instead! 

Dana shared his favorite click bait moment! 

We learned about the highest a Golden Gopher football player has been drafted and it happened a VERY long time ago! 

We talked with actor Ethan Hawke this morning about the season finale of his new television series, The Lowdown, which airs tonight! 

A woman is suing Sea World because a duck knocked her out while riding a roller coaster! 

The monkeys are at it again! This time, they took out a semi-truck driver! 

Josh really dated himself while talking about what he had to do in school; pre-internet era. 

What if the Aliens came to Earth and they were as dumb as a box of rocks? 

Nick owes Josh one "Well, alright then!" 

Stupid News story about a "victim" having to get medically cleared after breathing in cigar smoke. 

C. Willi informed us that he can only perform with his brother because his brother "knows his range."

Josh asked SisQo's brother-in-law what it was like finding out that his sister was dating THE SisQo!

Imagine being the guy that lost a woman to a serial killer. 

A listener texted in and explained why some women are attracted to serial killers! 

Participating in Movember is a great way to make sure you can also participate in No Nut November! 

Nick and Josh reminisced about a time when they went through the hottest haunted house to ever exist. 

Nick broke Josh's heart by telling him that cute couple Halloween costumes are NOT allowed at his Halloween parties. 

Hear the incredible audio from the moment Toronto Blue Jay George Springer hit a homer last night! 

Dana told us about a friend of his that had to keep it a secret from her parents that she was a Hooters waitress! 

A nurse was pulled over by police officers, and she decided to threaten them! 

We need a DePaola's Bagel & Brunch in Minnesota!

The Pfister family is a big one! 

Nick told us a trick-or-treating story from his childhood that SERIOUSLY freaked him out! 

There is a terrified husband out there that is worried that his wife may be a SNAKE! 

Brad Ruiter has no fear of consequences when it comes to his favorite ballpark snack! 

Nick shared a story about when he had a difficult time understanding how a "mobile order" works. 

We asked Randy Shaver what quarterbacks he considers to be a douche! 

Members of The Brother/Sisterhood texted in about the strange house rules they had growing up! 

Nick claims that the bar would be enjoyable if one of his buddies would STOP INTERRUPTING CONVERSATIONS WITH JOKES!