Why do so many women wake up one day and feel like they want out? In this episode of You’re Gonna Want to Hear This, Marie Claire Editor Georgie McCourt sits down with renowned psychoanalyst and bestselling author Stephen Grosz for a conversation about love, resentment, affairs, marriage, desire, emotional labour, and the complicated reality of trying to build a life with another person without losing yourself. 

After more than 40 years inside the consulting room, and more than 75,000 hours listening to people talk about heartbreak, betrayal, longing and intimacy, Stephen has come to believe that love is not simply something we fall into. It is something we work at. Often, that work begins at the exact moment relationships stop feeling easy. 

Together, Georgie and Stephen unpack why resentment can quietly poison even strong relationships, why contempt is often far more dangerous than anger, and why many people do not leave because they have stopped loving their partner, but because they no longer recognise themselves inside the relationship. 

They also talk about affairs and what people are really searching for when they step outside a marriage, the emotional complexity of long-term love, the impact children can have on intimacy and desire, and why some couples emerge stronger after betrayal while others cannot recover. 

Georgie opens up about her own experience with marriage counselling, co-parenting, and the small daily rituals that can soften even the hardest relationships. 

This episode covers: 

• Why love requires labour 

• The resentment that can destroy relationships 

• Why contempt is often more dangerous than anger 

• The real psychology behind affairs 

• How children can change intimacy and desire 

• Why people leave because they dislike who they have become 

• The power of appreciation inside long-term relationships 

• What happiness in love can really look like 
• The line from Stephen that Georgie says “quietly rearranged the furniture” in her brain 

Stephen Grosz is the author of The Examined Life and Love’s Labour. 

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Credits: 

Host: Marie Claire Editor Georgie McCourt 

Edited by Charlie Potter 

Head of Vodcasting Rachel Fountain 

Learn More: You’re Gonna Want to Hear This is a production of Marie Claire and Are Media.