Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes RobertsWoman Evolve Replay: The Power to be Unhinged w Sarah Jakes Roberts
Previously Recorded
Before starting this episode, W.E. ask that you proceed with caution. ‘Cause somebody proved themselves to be a sacrificial lamb in motherhood, but even more so on this here podcast. Tune in to hear how SJR was able to strike a balance, and release the fragrance of who Jesus is in the busyness of life. Now…the advice segment is where things went from 0 to 100 real quick! Especially after the girls wanted to throw that thang in a circle. SJR discussed the power of the body, and encouraged those who devote themselves to serving others to acknowledge their own needs. Repeat after W.E. — I give myself permission to let power move. Then do us a solid a pre-order your copy of thepowermovesbook.com!
I give myself a permission to let power move. I wanted to be on a record saying that I don't think we should be outside working.
Where is Kate Middleton?
I know y'all don't care about the royal family, and I'll be honest, neither did. I also said what I said say, and it's out there.
If y'all never hear from you, akend. This podcast is what did it?
Welcome to the Woman Evolved Podcast. This is your host, Sarah James Roberts. How are you doing? What is happening in your world? Today's episode is going to be I want to prepare you before you even settle down into this podcast to let you know that this week's episode is going to be called the Power to be Unhinged. Turn to your neighbor and say the Power.
To be Unhinged? All right, are you ready?
Because listen, I've had a very long week and the week is not over. It's Monday when I'm recording this. Yesterday I preached at the Potter's House Dallas. I preached a message called hazardous Conditions, which we'll get into it Saturday. I flew to Dallas from Los Angeles because we did Hey, you in Los Angeles and we had a phenomenal time with the women at One Online. We are still planning to host it in Dallas in May, but everyone who is in Dallas is currently working for the International Leadership Summit and they weren't able to have it in March. So, hey, you is supposed to be every other month. Let's talk about it. Hey, you supposed to be every other month, and so January, March, May, July, we're off in September up in October the last one for the year. So when we couldn't do it in March, we were like, well, let's just wait till May. And I was like, no, that's going to throw the schedule off. I'm because I because once I said it, call it being made, and God's once I said it, I wanted to stay how we said it. And so we tried to do it early. Oh, we were going to do it March eighth, but my mom had knee replacement surgery and so we couldn't do it March eighth, and so I was like, can we do it the fifteenth For the fifteenth was like the week leading into ilsteners, Like, there's no way we could pull it off. Then the next week is Eastern. I was like, well, can we do it in LA? Like low key? Though I've been trying to make it to LA because I am usually in Dallas on Sundays. I'm holding things down with the girls throughout the weekend, so I haven't been able to go to Los Angeles like the church that birth my ministry, okay, and so I love them that some of them probably don't even know who I am at this point because I haven't been there as much, but I love going there when I get you a chance here. So we had Haye You in La on Friday. My girls were on spring break, so Monday through Thursday we were in Orange County.
We did Disney. We stayed at a hotel.
We're by the pool, and so I was determined to not be consumed with the fact that I have to hay you on Friday, and I will would like to preach a message, and I like to sit down and study for hours on end. And then I'm also preaching on Sunday in Dallas with the travel day in between, and I like to sit down and study, like for endless amounts of time when I'm studying for a sermon. And so we spent the week in at Disney, or like four days, four or five days at the hotel in Disney, and you know, I wanted to be present with them. I did not want them to feel like, yeah, we're on spring break, but mom's on her laptop, she's got her Bible out. You know, it doesn't feel very fun. So I'm in the pool, I'm splash and like I went into it knowing that I was just going to be a sacrificial lamb of motherhood. Dude, someone knows what I'm talking about. Have you ever been this sacrificial lamb of motherhood? Like where you have just decided Like most of the time, y'all get on my nerves, but I'm not gonna let you do it this week. This week, I'm going to be the mom I see on TV. This week, I'm going to be the mom who the Arts and Crafts nailed in Homemade Me Nara? Is that?
Who is that?
No, it's Sarah because I have decided to be that mom. That's how I went into spring break. You want me to get in the pool with you, Let me change into my bathing suit. You want to splash around, you want to run the life, you want to get on my back.
Let's do it.
You want to stay up and cuddle and watch movies, I'm your cuddle buddy. Okay, so unhinged, I already told you, and so I was very present, and let me tell you, God did what only God could do. Because I was studying at the end of the service, at the end, at the end of spending time with them, I would get on my laptop, get on my phone, and I would study because that was the only time I had available. And so we had Hey, you, I preached a message specifically for women. It's called on the front Lines. It was it was powerful. I felt like it was powerful. You should watch it. Check it out. And then Sunday I preached hazardous Conditions and I thought that that was a powerful sermon as well, and I felt so I had to go into my feelings will. I went onto my feelings will because I was talking about what is this I'm feeling?
I've never this?
I turned it down, Okay, what is this I'm feeling? It does I haven't always felt this way? What is this feeling? And so I went there, that's a nineteenth Okay. So I went onto my feelings well and it started off with happy, and I was like, I do feel happy. And then the second tier was like proud. I don't think I think I feel little proud, but I be careful a boy feeling proud and stuff that God really empowered me to do, because like, I don't want to take anything credit that only God could do. And then I went out and it was triumphant. Oh, holy ghosts, because you know what happened after that. Second Corinthians was brought to my mind. Second Corinthians two, verse fourteen. I feel it right now. It says, now, thanks be unto God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge. And every praise in every place let me. I said praise because it praise was in my spirit, because I felt triumphant because I was able to release the fragrance of who Jesus is, not just when I preached, but when I was with my kids too. I got to show them the love of God through me. I got to show them the patience of God, the joy of God. I was able to release the fragrance of who God is for not just through the sermons for hey you or for the Potters House, Dallas and those who watch online, but also just in my role as a mother, like I wanted them to really have a good spring break. I wanted them to experience joy, and that scripture stood out in my mind. And so yeah, this episode, though, is unhinged because I was present with the kids, studied for Hey you preached, Hey you flew to Dallas, preached in Dallas, collapsed, Me and my booth celebrated our tenured date adversary, and then Monday we came around and was like, boo, you got a podcast on Wednesday. Triumph that And I don't have a plan for it, but I do. You have some unhinged things that I want to say to you. So we're going to call it the Power to be Unhinged, But can we talk for a minute. You all please go pre order Power Moves. Ignite your confidence and become a force. I am so proud of this book. I didn't interview today, That's why I have the makeup. But I did an interview today about the book, and the person had actually read the book. Sometimes when you do interviews, people are doing so many different interviews with so many different people that they haven't actually read the book yet, but this person had actually read the book, and as a result of them reading the book, we had a great conversation.
She got it.
So when you hear Power Moves, you know, most people are thinking about like businesses that make like blockbuster deals, or someone who did something so strategic like I'm thinking about Monique Rodriguez, who we're going to have on the podcast, who sold my yel Organics and a power move deal. So people who are making these big power move deals. And to be honest, I think most people are like one, I'm not in a position to make power moves, or two even if I was, I'm already tired making my life move, so I can't make power move and my life move. I got you because Power Moves is not just about doing things in the earth that feel big and important. Power Moves is about allowing power to move through you. And this week I was so happy because I saw power move and my expression of motherhood and then move again and my expression of just speaking to women, and then move again as we made it through the airport with a flight delay, and power was patience in that moment and stillness and trust in God that I wouldn't be delayed that I would be able to preach the message God gave me. And then I saw power move on Sunday and then just my anniversary. So power moves, and being sensitive and attune to the moments where power is moving so that you can move when power moves. I slept for an hour after church. I wanted to see my mom. I want to say goodbye to someone who is transitioning out of a role. And I slept for an hour, and then my husband came home. He surprised me. He's supposed to be out of town, so he surprises me with the date. And I was so excited, and he knew I was tired, so it wasn't like I had to pretend like I wasn't tired. He knew that I was tired. But even having the acknowledgment of like, I'm tired, but I want to do this anyway, there used to be times where I would go and be resentful or I would not go and then be ashamed that he went out of his way to do something and I turned it down. But we were able to strike this balance of you know, she's tired, but she's also excited because it's our ten year date adversary and so there are no rules. Like I picked up the phone because I needed to send something to one of our team members in the middle of dinner, and I was like, I'm gonna put the phone down because I know, you know, we're on a date and I don't want to be the girl who's on the phone on the date. And he's like, there are no rules, there are no rules, just be free. So I want you guys to get this book so that you can experience an existence that does not have expectation and rules, that you would just allow yourself to move as power moves in your life. This episode, we just gonna kick it all right, I'm gona mind your business still. I have a question from someone that was sent in and it's unhinged, so it goes with the theme of the podcast. And when I say unhinged, I mean it's unhinged. So let's hear it.
Hey, Sarah, my name is Bree, and my question for you is how did you find sisters to match your fly and fresh faith, meaning that you're always super fly, your perspective is fresh, but you are of the faith. I just feel like I'm a little puzzle right now because the state of my friendships are rocky. I feel like I'm always reaching out to certain people for those connections, or I'm avoiding other friends because I'm in a space where I desire committed, healthy, reciprocal spaces. But I am not one for the things that pull me away from God, well not too far at least. And let me explain. This is what I mean. If we go out and y'all drinking, y'all drinking. But if we go out and we twerking, we twerking. So I guess I'm kind of looking for friends who want to pray and fast and read the Bible and dig into the scriptures and uplift each other and encourage each other, hold space for each other, get therapy together, but still to work. I don't know how to explain it well. Culturally, I feel like my ancestors be like, it's okay to talk, but make sure you're praying and that you're close to God.
That's the only advice that I.
Can truly think of, And I'm sure other people have some so without like losing yourself and striving for perfection. But I'm striving to grow in Christ with friends who are also trying to grow in Christ because I find that many people are either or like they're all.
The way in the world or something. Okay, thank you for listening.
Ye didn't I tell you that this episode was on edge, Like someone is literally probably wondering, like, how is Sarah going to answer this question? And you've never seen someone beat around the bush the way I'm about to beat around the bush, like Mike Tyson couldn't beat around this bush the way I'm about to be around this bush. Because I want to tell you what I hear her saying. I know what she said, but what I hear her saying is how do I have an authentic faith that doesn't have superiority, judgment or the spirit of religion connected to it?
Is it possible?
I want to say foundationally that I do not believe that twerking and the forms that I have seen it is outdoor behavior. Oh God, I know, logging off, logging off, you know, let me go deeper before you judge, you know, for me, the way that my life now, I want to tell you perspective. My worldview grew up during purity culture hadakit at fourteen, respectability politics steeped in them. Okay, so take this with the grain of salt if you'd like. But I just want to offer and my husband definitely not in that shake that tale territory publicly heavy on the publicly. I think that there is something to be said about giving a woman the freedom to experience and express the movement of her body and the context of her marriage or in the context of her mirror.
Okay, because.
I'm probably failing at this, because at the end of the day, I think it is important that a woman be able to express the full dimensions of what it means to be a woman. And I will tell you, as a woman who has had promiscuity in her past, that I think it is also irresponsible to fall into the philosophy that, oh gosh, am I and I've already said it. I think it is dangerous to subscribe to a philosophy that a woman can only I think a woman.
I think a woman.
I think a woman should be able to know her body well enough to understand the effect and power that it has on other people in the world, to be a good steward of those effects and powers, to recognize that she is more than her body, and to also not give over the responsibility of pleasure, enjoyment to whoever her partner is. And so I think in order to get to that place in a healthy way, that it requires a perspective on the fullness of who you are outside of your body. I will say, even culturally as a black woman, and somebody may be wondering, like, what did you mean a black woman have to do with this? The reality that the black body has been used for labor, for entertainment, for pleasure, whether that pleasure was sexual or leisure. That systemically in America, that it can be very difficult to separate our worth and value outside of the outside of the nature of what our bodies can do, which is why I believe we see a lot of entertainers, Oh gosh, this is I don't even should I I'm in I'm open for correction. I have a limited perspective whatever, But I'm saying this especially as a I see now as a grown woman, how I grew up listening to R.
Kelly's music.
I wanted nothing more than to act out the lyrics of those songs, and the music today has very similar themes and connotations. And when I turn on certain music, I just don't certain when I turn on music from artists that are of another ethnicity. You know, I don't see it being as sexualized, body being as sexualized as I do in some of the music and entertainment that we come to expect from some of our faves, like and they in Saves present, you know, parties included, Like I understand, you know, the beats and the music and how we got there. But I do think that as I have grown and deepened in my relationship with God, imagine never answering the question. As I've grown in my relationship with God, I've come to see myself outside of the worth of my body, whether it's from purity or from being exploited, and to really see myself as a whole person and as a result from me, you know, I try to be a good steward of my body by the way that I try to protect it and the way that I will allow it to be viewed and taken in from outside Atlantis. So I will say, in all transparency, I don't necessarily know that there's going to be how what's the best way for you to find the torch and friends? The friends who if we outside talking, we outside working, but if we praying, we also praying. I wanted to be on a record saying that I don't think we should be outside tworking.
I don't unless it's your shoulders do it had to end?
I will also say that when I hear tworking, I hear popped over down? You know what I mean? Are other things? Are there other things that are do fingers to work? Correct me?
Whoever? Unsubscribed? I understand.
So I want to be on record saying that, and then I want to answer what I think you're saying is how do I have these friendships that feel real and down to earth. I'm gonna tell you, I believe that Woman Evolve events are probably gonna give you the girls outside tworking and the girls praying. I believe that they're going to be both of them. You know what I mean, Like, I think the girls are going to be there. I think you have the girls who ain never worked today in their life, don't believe in twarking, and you have the girls who work at home and closet. I believe that they're gonna all be cover at Womanivove events. I think part of the reason why Womanivolve events feel so connected is because there is a similar spirit amongst the women in the room. Additionally, I will say that you may have to really determine what kind of person do I want to be, and will I be able to find connecting points for every part.
Of who I am?
Or will I have to categorize my friendships to fit certain parts of who I am? In other words, you may find friends that are just your faith friends. They challenge you in the word, They hold you accountable to your prayer. You know, they know scripture. You can call them in a hard time. You guys listen to the same sermons. And maybe that person too, is the person who's like, hey, did you see the new TikTok dance? We should have a pandama party and see if we can figure this dance out. Even if dance that little pop in it because it's just us and you know, we kicking it and we just trying to see what's is, what's happening we practice it. But there's a possibility that that's a completely different friend.
That may be a work friend.
That may be you may be your only your only to work buddy in this season. That's possible, But be open to the possibilities that you are multifaceted and that not everyone will be able to live in every facet of who you are, but that doesn't mean that you cannot have connection with certain people for certain parts of who you are. And so and then when you demanded the picture and you see all of those different connection points, and maybe it did not come from one person, but rather multiple people came together to fulfill needs socially, spiritually, you know, a professionally that were important to you. If y'all cancel me over this, I said it the best way I knew to say it, and I'm open to being wrong and too from my perspective being you know, expanded, But I also said what I said, and it's out there on a podcast now, so I'll just log off if it becomes a thing. If y'all never hear from me again, this podcast is what did it? I was having a conversation with who was I talking to?
Oh?
It was a part of the interview. And interviews can be very I guess, fast paced because the person is like looking at you, but they're also looking at the monitor to see the next question, to check out the time, so it's not as connected of a conversation sometimes. Even though this interview was absolutely great, but we stumbled onto something that I felt like was worthy of expansion, and so I'm gonna talk my thoughts out with you guys for a little bit. So we started talking about someone who's always there for others people and they're wondering, like, how do I get to a space where you know, people don't only rely on me anymore, or people see that I'm a person as well. And I was fascinated by this because this is the question I hear all of the time from people who are like, I'm a strong friend. I don't want to be the strong friend. And part of the reason why we have strong friends who don't always want to be the strong friend is that people have gotten into a rhythm of calling them when they need them, and that person has gotten into the rhythm of delivering. And maybe they at the time they were able to deliver on those needs. And as time has changed, as their life has changed, their energy has changed, their values have changed, they're no longer able to continue delivering on that level. Or what could be even more honest is that they were never able to deliver, but they stretched themselves and either way, no matter how they got there, they're at a stage now where they want to change the way that they I've been showing up and she asks me what my response to those people would be. And my response to those people is, if you are in a position where you have become we'll use the restaurant industry. I used to waitress at a strip club. So there's my take on outside working. I've seen them all. I used to waitress at this strip club. And imagine this. If you're the strong friend, imagine that you're working in the restaurant industry and you're constantly checking on different tables. You need water, Okay, I'll go get your water. You need you know, food, I'll go get your food. Oh, your order was wrong, Okay, I'll go fix your order, but instead of food items. Hey, you need some money, Okay, here, I'll give you the money. You need some emotional support, Okay, I'll be your emotional support.
Okay.
Oh something went wrong with the kids. Okay here, let me call your kids and I'll fix it. Oh okay, you're tired, Okay, why don't I pick this up. You're going from person to person seeing exactly what they need, and sometimes you can sometimes you're overwhelmed, but that's your rhythm. If this were actually someone who was in the restaurant industry. Just because they're serving people doesn't mean that they don't get hungry. At some point, their shift would have to end, they would have to sit down, and they would have to ask themselves, what do I want to eat? What's available for me to eat? What do I want to drink? As easy as this is to understand in the restaurant industry, it's a little more challenging for us to comprehend when it comes to our emotional health and wealth and how.
We are in relationship with other people.
You cannot constantly wait on all of the tables and peoples and people in your life without taking the opportunity to say, you know what, I'm hungry too, and so I need you all who are people pleasers, who are need fillers, to begin and to ask yourself what do I need, even if you're doing it while busting tables.
Right.
There were times when I would be waitressing and I would be like, Oh, when I get off, I'm gonna have me some of that stick.
When I get off. I'm gonna do this when I get off.
I want you to include as a part of your rhythm a plan for what you need. Man, I wish somebody would help me with my kids. Man, I wish that I could get rest because we get so hot up and being the strong friend and taking care of everyone else's need that we don't even ask ourselves what we need. Maybe your shift isn't ending yet, maybe there's no capacity in the world for you to have it right now. But get in the practice of knowing at the tip of your tongue what it is that you need.
I need a break, I.
Need rest, I need a vacation, I need a good cry. You know what I mean, Like, what is it that you need?
And be willing to.
Rap embrace, be willing to embrace the reality that you always have a need. So if I take a minute right now, you take a minute with me, because we in it together. If I take a minute right now and I s tell myself, oh, and I ask for my needs to rise to the surface, I can tell you that right now I need rest. I'm tired. I'll be honest, I'm tired, And right now I'll tell you I don't have time to rest. I gotta go pick up my kids. In five minutes. This podcast is gone too long. I gotta go pick up my kids. But I am tired. I'd like to sleep, and I'm the only one who can pick them up. So I'm not even gonna talk myself out of it. But I'm acknowledging that it is in need I need. I can't see past rest, and maybe that's because the need is so big that I can't see past it. So because I'm in a position right now where I can't necessarily get rest in the way that I need it, God, I need you to give me rest and my spirit. To let my spirit not be anxious or worried or doubtful. Holy Spirit, allow me to have rest in my spirit, and also give me strength physical strength to carry out what's left. And so what I know now because I know I need rest, because I know I need strength. If someone calls me and they asks me to do something, I'm going to have to exercise a boundary because I know I need rest, that I'm running on fumes. Acknowledging your need, even when it cannot be immediately fulfilled, is not tormenting yourself with a reality that cannot be cured or changed. It is allowing yourself to better plan for the future. It's allowing yourself to know more quickly what you need. The next time someone says, is there anything I can do for you? It is allowing yourself to not just be the strong friend, but the friend who also gets hungry as well. And what's beautiful is when my need is met, I'm gonna be up there, pump up my chest doing what needs to be done, because that's just the kind of girl that I am. I can be strong again, but right now I need to be empty. And that is power moves. That is power moves. That is how power moves. The most powerful thing that I can give myself today is the acknowledgement of my need. The most powerful thing that I can give myself today is the acknowledgement of my need for strength and tomorrow. The most powerful thing that I can do might be sharing the gospel. It might be showing up as a sister. I give myself permission to let power move. Can you say that with me? You're already repeating after me about this podcast being an unhinged I give myself permission to let power move. I'm so excited to serve y'all with this, but please preorder this book. Just do me a solid, Just like do me a solid because you love me. If you love me, or you like me, or you stumbled across this podcast, take a step of faith, dive into this book.
I believe that it's going to help you.
I am contractually obligated to make sure that this podcast is at least thirty minutes long, or to not do one and allow it to be picked up on the other end. But I just feel like coming on here running my mouth. So I hope that I haven't stressed your nerves out too bad. You know what I should have made, y'all? Okay, last thing and then I'm late. I gotta go pick up my kids. Where is Kate Middleton? I know y'all don't care about the royal family, and I'm gonna be honest, neither did I. But I something came up on my for you page and I'm in there like swim Where now?
Baby?
They didn't photoshop these photos, they didn't give it this picture in the car, and.
I don't care.
I got other things to worry about, y'all not the only mature people on the phone call. I have other things to worry about as well. But also I don't have anything else to worry about. I don't. I'm I'm this is adulting these days. I am both fully consumed with a to do list I cannot accomplish, and also I have nothing to do. If you don't understand that, that's not on me to break down, that is on you to take to the Lord in prayer.
So rescue, rescue, Kate, period. I love you. We'll see how long this episode was.
If it was thirty minutes, I can't even because I had to break it up.
So I'm gonna say a prayer.
If it's not thirty minutes, we're going to tack on something to the end of this and it's gonna be as it'll be three minutes if it ain't, because I gotta be close.
Okay, here we go.
Oh God, thank you the power to be unhinged, the power to not hold it all together or to hang on, but to let everything go and see how we flow. It's not something that we can do all of the time, cause let's be for real, we got responsibilities, we have things we need to do, and we need to be very well.
Hinged to show up in our life.
But thank you God for the sweet moments where we can just exhale and let it all out and let it all go, knowing that we're gonna have to in hell again. And when we in hell, God, I pray that you would give us strength, wisdom, insight, peace, courage, love. Sending special love to everyone listening. God, May they feel your presence, May they know you? Oh my goodness, I wish y'all could remember. Help me to remember, Holy Spirit, I may remember it later. I pray, though, God, that as this podcast comes to the end, that they feel a little less alone, a lot more known and almost grown. What is it?
What is it? Somebody helped me. I gotta write it down, all right. I love you.
I will see you next week with Top Tier Tomorrow's Tuesday I'm Batch Recording podcast. We have amazing guests, doctor Anita Phillips, tammeron Hall like I'm gonna be back in my bag, but right now I am in my sack and that's all right.
