When we're free, we often feel seen, and being seen is vulnerable.

When we're free, we often feel seen, and being seen is vulnerable.

Sometimes healing is God giving me the strength to walk this through.

Sometimes healing is God giving me the strength to walk this through.

We still be a light.

We still be a light.

Yes, he started going to therapy and it demanded of me.

Yes, he started going to therapy and it demanded of me.

God doesn't always show up in the way that we would have wanted him to, but it doesn't mean that we can't access his presence now.

God doesn't always show up in the way that we would have wanted him to, but it doesn't mean that we can't access his presence now.

Yes, what's up? What's Up? What's Up?

Yes, what's up? What's Up? What's Up?

Welcome back to the Woman Evolved Podcast.

Welcome back to the Woman Evolved Podcast.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

It has been an amazing start to the new year already. If you haven't already learned, the Woman Evolved Podcast is now a part of the Black Effect Network. Big ups to the Icon Charlemagne for expanding the reach of the Woman Evolved Podcast and also helping me to start breading all those ads because your girl was getting a little woo ooo about it. Listen, I am so excited about this partnership. But what I'm most excited about is that since we got to take a little break, although y'all were really enjoying those throwback episodes and gave us a chance to really reformat the podcast, there has been something that we have heard over and over again since releasing this new format, which if you guys are not familiar with the podcast is started in twenty eighteen. I grabbed a microphone, my laptop and I would sit in my office. I'd go on Facebook Live and we would talk about hot topics and current events. I'd send it off to my brother to mix and then we'd uploaded. And that is how the Woman Evolved podcast started. But it started getting a little hard to go live on Facebook at the same time week after week, and to be honest, it was getting.

It has been an amazing start to the new year already. If you haven't already learned, the Woman Evolved Podcast is now a part of the Black Effect Network. Big ups to the Icon Charlemagne for expanding the reach of the Woman Evolved Podcast and also helping me to start breading all those ads because your girl was getting a little woo ooo about it. Listen, I am so excited about this partnership. But what I'm most excited about is that since we got to take a little break, although y'all were really enjoying those throwback episodes and gave us a chance to really reformat the podcast, there has been something that we have heard over and over again since releasing this new format, which if you guys are not familiar with the podcast is started in twenty eighteen. I grabbed a microphone, my laptop and I would sit in my office. I'd go on Facebook Live and we would talk about hot topics and current events. I'd send it off to my brother to mix and then we'd uploaded. And that is how the Woman Evolved podcast started. But it started getting a little hard to go live on Facebook at the same time week after week, and to be honest, it was getting.

Difficult to rescue people. We had these.

Difficult to rescue people. We had these.

Segments it was Hail Mary and Rescue Eve, and we basically take stories out of the news and try to find this angle of, you know, seeing people the way God sees them, even though it was easy to see them like Eve. You know Eve, our girl in the Bible, she ate from the fruit, gave it to Adam. The fall of humanity sin enters the world. You know, she knew better, but she didn't do better. And people are out here and I know they know better, but they are not doing better. And though it would be easy to judge, we would try to suspend judgment and see things the way that God saw them. Sounds good in theory, but trying to defend people. Was getting real chaotic, but we're gonna try it again. We are bringing back Rescue Eve. We are going to try and rescue the people. But this time, instead of just rescuing people who are in the news, though that may happen, we want to try and rescue you. Yes, you listening, like are you out here being raggedy? Like did you call all the kids in sick and they weren't sick? Do you need a rescue? Are you out here you know, not properly laying that wig down and outside being like corporate airon?

Segments it was Hail Mary and Rescue Eve, and we basically take stories out of the news and try to find this angle of, you know, seeing people the way God sees them, even though it was easy to see them like Eve. You know Eve, our girl in the Bible, she ate from the fruit, gave it to Adam. The fall of humanity sin enters the world. You know, she knew better, but she didn't do better. And people are out here and I know they know better, but they are not doing better. And though it would be easy to judge, we would try to suspend judgment and see things the way that God saw them. Sounds good in theory, but trying to defend people. Was getting real chaotic, but we're gonna try it again. We are bringing back Rescue Eve. We are going to try and rescue the people. But this time, instead of just rescuing people who are in the news, though that may happen, we want to try and rescue you. Yes, you listening, like are you out here being raggedy? Like did you call all the kids in sick and they weren't sick? Do you need a rescue? Are you out here you know, not properly laying that wig down and outside being like corporate airon?

Is that you?

Is that you?

I don't know if it's you, but if it's you, maybe you need a floaty. Maybe we need to send you a plane because you out here knowing better but not doing better. I believe in you, I believe in all God's children, and I just want to see you do better. So uh, send us your I'll give you more information on sending us.

I don't know if it's you, but if it's you, maybe you need a floaty. Maybe we need to send you a plane because you out here knowing better but not doing better. I believe in you, I believe in all God's children, and I just want to see you do better. So uh, send us your I'll give you more information on sending us.

Your rescue Eves. But we're also.

Your rescue Eves. But we're also.

Bringing in a segment called Mind your Business. You guys send me advice questions all the time. I'm going to answer them here on the air, but we're going to ask you to send them in via video, so you can send actually your mind your business moments how you want me to mind your business to podcasts that Woman to Evolve or send us the ways you're out here being raggedy at podcast at womanevolve dot com. So if you send me your mind your business thing, like drop a video, make it quick, you know, but give me the details. Make it quick, like send me a minute video or so telling me all about whatever it is you're going through and how you think maybe I can help you and you com mind my business. You want to know where I'm getting stuff from. You want to know how I'm doing, Like, send me your questions whatever they are, no matter how deep, no matter how random, I'll do my best to answer them. And yeah, go ahead and send you Rescue Eves to that as well podcasts at womanevolve dot com. So all right, let's get into our first mind your business question. Are you ready? Are you ready for me to mind your business? I'm ready to mind it.

Bringing in a segment called Mind your Business. You guys send me advice questions all the time. I'm going to answer them here on the air, but we're going to ask you to send them in via video, so you can send actually your mind your business moments how you want me to mind your business to podcasts that Woman to Evolve or send us the ways you're out here being raggedy at podcast at womanevolve dot com. So if you send me your mind your business thing, like drop a video, make it quick, you know, but give me the details. Make it quick, like send me a minute video or so telling me all about whatever it is you're going through and how you think maybe I can help you and you com mind my business. You want to know where I'm getting stuff from. You want to know how I'm doing, Like, send me your questions whatever they are, no matter how deep, no matter how random, I'll do my best to answer them. And yeah, go ahead and send you Rescue Eves to that as well podcasts at womanevolve dot com. So all right, let's get into our first mind your business question. Are you ready? Are you ready for me to mind your business? I'm ready to mind it.

Hi, Sarah, my name is Winnifred, and I just have one question to ask you. So we've been a part of your story and your incredible journey as well. Both with all of that, I just want to know do you sometimes deal with imposter syndrome? If you do have been able to get out of that, how do you deal with it or navigate through it?

Hi, Sarah, my name is Winnifred, and I just have one question to ask you. So we've been a part of your story and your incredible journey as well. Both with all of that, I just want to know do you sometimes deal with imposter syndrome? If you do have been able to get out of that, how do you deal with it or navigate through it?

Because I feel like sometimes when God tells us to do something, we think because of our past or because of what our past looks like, we don't really deserve situate or we're not good enough for it. But I just want to know how have you been able to push through it and still do the will of God?

Because I feel like sometimes when God tells us to do something, we think because of our past or because of what our past looks like, we don't really deserve situate or we're not good enough for it. But I just want to know how have you been able to push through it and still do the will of God?

Thank you when I for This question is so interesting to me because I often asked myself, like, is that imposter syndrome? Like the reason why you're questioning yourself, the reason why you are doubting yourself in this moment. But one of the things that I am beginning to realize is that I feel like the only reason why I have had impact in my ministry and what my life is because I've made a commitment to authenticity whatever is authentic to me for that specific assignment. And so authenticity isn't necessarily saying I'm going to show up the same way every single time as much as it is saying I'm going to show up in my truth.

Thank you when I for This question is so interesting to me because I often asked myself, like, is that imposter syndrome? Like the reason why you're questioning yourself, the reason why you are doubting yourself in this moment. But one of the things that I am beginning to realize is that I feel like the only reason why I have had impact in my ministry and what my life is because I've made a commitment to authenticity whatever is authentic to me for that specific assignment. And so authenticity isn't necessarily saying I'm going to show up the same way every single time as much as it is saying I'm going to show up in my truth.

But I'm going to see if God that blesses this truth.

But I'm going to see if God that blesses this truth.

And so I have to say, well, some of you may have seen the story, some of you may not have. I was speaking at my father's church, and I was there on my own and at the time. Backstory is, at the time I was questioning whether or not I would be a good candidate to be a part of the leadership team at the Partish House Dallas, primarily because you know, I am going to give it to you the way God gives it to me, and sometimes it doesn't come off as eloquent and fancy as I think that it should. And so I was wondering, like, am I going to have to change myself to step into what God has called me to do? Or can I still be myself and it be effective? And I was having that going on in my own spirit, in my own mind. I get up to preach and my wigs start slipping, I take my wig off, I keep on preaching, and so that moment ends up going viral.

And so I have to say, well, some of you may have seen the story, some of you may not have. I was speaking at my father's church, and I was there on my own and at the time. Backstory is, at the time I was questioning whether or not I would be a good candidate to be a part of the leadership team at the Partish House Dallas, primarily because you know, I am going to give it to you the way God gives it to me, and sometimes it doesn't come off as eloquent and fancy as I think that it should. And so I was wondering, like, am I going to have to change myself to step into what God has called me to do? Or can I still be myself and it be effective? And I was having that going on in my own spirit, in my own mind. I get up to preach and my wigs start slipping, I take my wig off, I keep on preaching, and so that moment ends up going viral.

Right, all of these people see it.

Right, all of these people see it.

But what was crazy about it is instead of it being something that people just laughed at, it became this thing that people were inspired by, where they were like when you took your wig off it like snatched shame out of my soul. It gave me permission to be myself. Little did they know that as as liberating as that moment was for them, it was liberating for me because it helped me to realize that God was trying to show me like, if you will just be yourself and your rawest wig cap on state, I can use it, I can bless it. And so those moments where imposter syndrome tries to creep in, I remind myself that I'm not forcing this. I'm just standing in the force of what it is. I'm not pretending to be anyone other than myself, which is why you know I could be on TikTok cutting the turkey open and then turn around and post a preaching clip. It is important to me that as I present myself as a leader, as a thought leader and faith leader, that I do so in such a way that no one is ever caught by surprise at me being human and a woman and a girl who's on a journey and so so resist pretending, Resist the need to live up to someone's expectation, resist the need to do what you've seen done before, and ask yourself and ask God.

But what was crazy about it is instead of it being something that people just laughed at, it became this thing that people were inspired by, where they were like when you took your wig off it like snatched shame out of my soul. It gave me permission to be myself. Little did they know that as as liberating as that moment was for them, it was liberating for me because it helped me to realize that God was trying to show me like, if you will just be yourself and your rawest wig cap on state, I can use it, I can bless it. And so those moments where imposter syndrome tries to creep in, I remind myself that I'm not forcing this. I'm just standing in the force of what it is. I'm not pretending to be anyone other than myself, which is why you know I could be on TikTok cutting the turkey open and then turn around and post a preaching clip. It is important to me that as I present myself as a leader, as a thought leader and faith leader, that I do so in such a way that no one is ever caught by surprise at me being human and a woman and a girl who's on a journey and so so resist pretending, Resist the need to live up to someone's expectation, resist the need to do what you've seen done before, and ask yourself and ask God.

Instead, if you chose.

Instead, if you chose.

Me to do this, and you know who I am, you know where I went to school or didn't go to school, you know who my friends are or who my friends are, and you're still asking me to do this, then I'm going to show up in the truth of who I am, and I'm going to sit back and watch how you multiply whatever my offering is. That's been my testimony, and that is what has helped me to resist falling into the trap of imposter syndrome because I am authentically being who I am and obedient to the places where God sends me.

Me to do this, and you know who I am, you know where I went to school or didn't go to school, you know who my friends are or who my friends are, and you're still asking me to do this, then I'm going to show up in the truth of who I am, and I'm going to sit back and watch how you multiply whatever my offering is. That's been my testimony, and that is what has helped me to resist falling into the trap of imposter syndrome because I am authentically being who I am and obedient to the places where God sends me.

I hope that helps her. I mean to be honest.

I hope that helps her. I mean to be honest.

I have struggled with wondering whether or not I have imposter syndrome, which was one of my first encounters with therapy, was trying to figure out whether or not I was experiencing imposter syndrome or something more deeply related with just the stress of my past trauma coming to the surface because I didn't feel present in my life. So I thought it would be cool to understand for those of you who may be wondering as well, like do I have imposter syndrome? There is an expert on the subject. Her name is doctor Valerie Young, and evidently she has a book that centers around women who may have imposter syndrome. It's called The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, Why capable people suffer from the imposter syndrome and how to thrive in spite of it. She says that there are five categories of imposter syndrome and the way they show up differently. The way it shows up is differently for everyone. So I'm gonna just run off these five real quick. But you know, if you want to dig deeper, get the book, or if you want to just confirm what you got here, we go, all right. So category number one is the perfectionist. Perfectionism and imposter syndrome go hand in hand.

I have struggled with wondering whether or not I have imposter syndrome, which was one of my first encounters with therapy, was trying to figure out whether or not I was experiencing imposter syndrome or something more deeply related with just the stress of my past trauma coming to the surface because I didn't feel present in my life. So I thought it would be cool to understand for those of you who may be wondering as well, like do I have imposter syndrome? There is an expert on the subject. Her name is doctor Valerie Young, and evidently she has a book that centers around women who may have imposter syndrome. It's called The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, Why capable people suffer from the imposter syndrome and how to thrive in spite of it. She says that there are five categories of imposter syndrome and the way they show up differently. The way it shows up is differently for everyone. So I'm gonna just run off these five real quick. But you know, if you want to dig deeper, get the book, or if you want to just confirm what you got here, we go, all right. So category number one is the perfectionist. Perfectionism and imposter syndrome go hand in hand.

Think about it.

Think about it.

Perfectionists that excessively high goals for themselves and when they fail to reach a goal, they experience major self doubt and worry about measuring up, whether they realize it or not. This group can also be control freaks, feeling like if they want something done right, they have to do it themselves. Oooh reading, somebody's a male. Number two the superwoman. Since people who experience this phenomenon are convinced that their phonies amongst real deal colleagues. They often push themselves to work harder and harder to measure up, but this is just a false cover up for their insecurities, and the work overload may harm not only their own mental health but also their relationships with others. Number three, the natural genius young says, people with this competence type believe they need to to be a natural genius. As such, they judge their competence based As such, they judge their competence not the devil trying to tie my tongue up we get off of me. As such, they judge their competence based ease and speed as opposed to their efforts. In other words, if they take a long time to master something, they feel shame. These types of impostors set their internal bar and possibly high, just like perfectionists. But natural genius types don't judge themselves based on They don't just judge themselves based on ridiculous expectations. They also judge themselves based on getting things right. On the first tribe, when they're not able to do something quick, quickly, or fluently, their alarm sounds all right, you know why I couldn't read through that got me.

Perfectionists that excessively high goals for themselves and when they fail to reach a goal, they experience major self doubt and worry about measuring up, whether they realize it or not. This group can also be control freaks, feeling like if they want something done right, they have to do it themselves. Oooh reading, somebody's a male. Number two the superwoman. Since people who experience this phenomenon are convinced that their phonies amongst real deal colleagues. They often push themselves to work harder and harder to measure up, but this is just a false cover up for their insecurities, and the work overload may harm not only their own mental health but also their relationships with others. Number three, the natural genius young says, people with this competence type believe they need to to be a natural genius. As such, they judge their competence based As such, they judge their competence not the devil trying to tie my tongue up we get off of me. As such, they judge their competence based ease and speed as opposed to their efforts. In other words, if they take a long time to master something, they feel shame. These types of impostors set their internal bar and possibly high, just like perfectionists. But natural genius types don't judge themselves based on They don't just judge themselves based on ridiculous expectations. They also judge themselves based on getting things right. On the first tribe, when they're not able to do something quick, quickly, or fluently, their alarm sounds all right, you know why I couldn't read through that got me.

That's not right, don't whatever.

That's not right, don't whatever.

I'm definitely guilty of setting an internal bar, internal bar that is so high, and then be upset when I can't do something right on the first try. Planning conference on the scale that it was in twenty twenty three with forty thousand people and having so many errors, and just like, how do we budget properly? How do we structure the team properly? What does the timeline need to look like? I was so upset with myself that I did not do well doing something I've never done before. Think about that sentence. It's already sounding off, So I guess I got a little touch of it. Okay, number Okay, it's just two more left. Four.

I'm definitely guilty of setting an internal bar, internal bar that is so high, and then be upset when I can't do something right on the first try. Planning conference on the scale that it was in twenty twenty three with forty thousand people and having so many errors, and just like, how do we budget properly? How do we structure the team properly? What does the timeline need to look like? I was so upset with myself that I did not do well doing something I've never done before. Think about that sentence. It's already sounding off, So I guess I got a little touch of it. Okay, number Okay, it's just two more left. Four.

The soloist sufferers Sufferers.

The soloist sufferers Sufferers.

Who feel as though asking for help reveals their phoniness, are what Young calls soloists. It's okay to be independent, but not to the extent that you refuse assistance so that you can prove your worth. Not sure if this applies to you, ask yourself these questions. Do you firmly feel that you need to accomplish things on your own? I don't need anyone's help. Does that sound like you do you frame record quest in terms of requirements of the project rather than your needs as a person? Hmm?

Who feel as though asking for help reveals their phoniness, are what Young calls soloists. It's okay to be independent, but not to the extent that you refuse assistance so that you can prove your worth. Not sure if this applies to you, ask yourself these questions. Do you firmly feel that you need to accomplish things on your own? I don't need anyone's help. Does that sound like you do you frame record quest in terms of requirements of the project rather than your needs as a person? Hmm?

Can I have both of them? Please? Okay?

Can I have both of them? Please? Okay?

Last one number five? The expert experts measure their competence based on what and how much they know or can do, believing they will never know enough. They fear being exposed as an experience or an knowledgeable Do you shy away from applying to job postings unless you meet every single educational requirement? Are you constantly sinking out trainings or certifications because you think you need to improve your skills in order to succeed even if you've even if you've been in your role for some time. Can you relate to feeling like you still don't know enough? Do you shudder when someone says you're an expert?

Last one number five? The expert experts measure their competence based on what and how much they know or can do, believing they will never know enough. They fear being exposed as an experience or an knowledgeable Do you shy away from applying to job postings unless you meet every single educational requirement? Are you constantly sinking out trainings or certifications because you think you need to improve your skills in order to succeed even if you've even if you've been in your role for some time. Can you relate to feeling like you still don't know enough? Do you shudder when someone says you're an expert?

All right?

All right?

Well, basically we all got imposter syndrome. That is from doctor Valerie Young. Her book The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, Why Capable People Suffer from the Imposter Syndrome and How to throw in spite of It. Sounds like it might be a good read for us. I'm going to see if we can add that to the woman he bought book club Because we need help let's thought. I am still going to stand ten toes down on the fact that a lot of what I experienced had to do with trauma responses. When our unprocessed trauma has not been acknowledged and reframed, it shows up in the way that we function. And so yeah, I probably got a touch of imposter syndrome with a dabble of PTSD and a few other things. But that is why we need therapy. You should know by now, but that there is no shame at all, and needing someone to talk to, needing someone to help you process. To be honest, I think that's why social media is as powerful as it is, is that we are collectively processing what we see in the news, what we see in someone's life. I love TikTok because I like to hear the way people think. But you got to turn that inward. You can't constantly be focused on processing what's happening around you and not what's taking place in you. I'm really excited about my conversation today with Kobe Campbell. Kobe Campbell is an award winning licensed trauma therapist, best selling author, media expert, entertainment consultant, and keynote speaker. Kobe just released her first book with the w Publishing of HarperCollins, titled Why Am I Like This? How to Break Cycles, Heal from Trauma, and Restore your Faith. Let me tell you, Homegirl came in swinging and did not stop. You know, I'm always letting doctor Anita Phillips like therapy me on the loan. If you guys haven't heard our podcast, you gotta check it out. It's a woman Evolved special. It's called in the Light. But let me tell you something. Covid Campbell is a doctor Anita in the making her own individual duality, her own unique style, but getting deep just as fast without fear of judgment.

Well, basically we all got imposter syndrome. That is from doctor Valerie Young. Her book The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, Why Capable People Suffer from the Imposter Syndrome and How to throw in spite of It. Sounds like it might be a good read for us. I'm going to see if we can add that to the woman he bought book club Because we need help let's thought. I am still going to stand ten toes down on the fact that a lot of what I experienced had to do with trauma responses. When our unprocessed trauma has not been acknowledged and reframed, it shows up in the way that we function. And so yeah, I probably got a touch of imposter syndrome with a dabble of PTSD and a few other things. But that is why we need therapy. You should know by now, but that there is no shame at all, and needing someone to talk to, needing someone to help you process. To be honest, I think that's why social media is as powerful as it is, is that we are collectively processing what we see in the news, what we see in someone's life. I love TikTok because I like to hear the way people think. But you got to turn that inward. You can't constantly be focused on processing what's happening around you and not what's taking place in you. I'm really excited about my conversation today with Kobe Campbell. Kobe Campbell is an award winning licensed trauma therapist, best selling author, media expert, entertainment consultant, and keynote speaker. Kobe just released her first book with the w Publishing of HarperCollins, titled Why Am I Like This? How to Break Cycles, Heal from Trauma, and Restore your Faith. Let me tell you, Homegirl came in swinging and did not stop. You know, I'm always letting doctor Anita Phillips like therapy me on the loan. If you guys haven't heard our podcast, you gotta check it out. It's a woman Evolved special. It's called in the Light. But let me tell you something. Covid Campbell is a doctor Anita in the making her own individual duality, her own unique style, but getting deep just as fast without fear of judgment.

Homegirl got that on loock.

Homegirl got that on loock.

So let's get into my conversation with her. And if I were you, I was just prepare to be blown away. Doctor Nita has this saying about us playing out our childhood traumas and our relationships.

So let's get into my conversation with her. And if I were you, I was just prepare to be blown away. Doctor Nita has this saying about us playing out our childhood traumas and our relationships.

Do you agree with that?

Do you agree with that?

Yes, a thousand percent.

Yes, a thousand percent.

I feel like.

I feel like.

We don't even realize some of our childhood trauma until we are in relationships. My relationship was part of the reason why I started digging, Like.

We don't even realize some of our childhood trauma until we are in relationships. My relationship was part of the reason why I started digging, Like.

Why, what's wrong with me? Yep?

Why, what's wrong with me? Yep?

What makes you start a podcast with your husband where you're talking about healing and like, perhaps your own things coming up in the midst of this podcast.

What makes you start a podcast with your husband where you're talking about healing and like, perhaps your own things coming up in the midst of this podcast.

Oh man, Yes, So I think what made us start the podcast is realizing when he started going to therapy how much that changed my life. I think I was like, Okay, you need to you need to go to therapy.

Oh man, Yes, So I think what made us start the podcast is realizing when he started going to therapy how much that changed my life. I think I was like, Okay, you need to you need to go to therapy.

Quit plan.

Quit plan.

You know, I'm not gonna be your therapist anymore, all the things. But then he started going to therapy and it demanded of me and I wasn't prepared for that, and I was like, oh, don't get too healed.

You know, I'm not gonna be your therapist anymore, all the things. But then he started going to therapy and it demanded of me and I wasn't prepared for that, and I was like, oh, don't get too healed.

Now, wait what did it demand of you?

Now, wait what did it demand of you?

I think that I got really used to feeling entitled to more space in our relationship because I had done more work.

I think that I got really used to feeling entitled to more space in our relationship because I had done more work.

So whoa, okay, wait a minute, break, you have to break that down.

So whoa, okay, wait a minute, break, you have to break that down.

So, yeah, what do you mean by that?

So, yeah, what do you mean by that?

A lot of like, you know, well, I'm the self aware. I'm the one who's been in therapy for almost ten years. So when I say this, I'm coming from this place therapy jargon, therapy jargon, and that's why we're doing what I want to do, right, Okay. And then he started healing and it started illuminating the ways that I was not, We weren't sharing the space, the emotional real estate. It was all mine and he was a tenant, you know, like you get to be here for a little bit.

A lot of like, you know, well, I'm the self aware. I'm the one who's been in therapy for almost ten years. So when I say this, I'm coming from this place therapy jargon, therapy jargon, and that's why we're doing what I want to do, right, Okay. And then he started healing and it started illuminating the ways that I was not, We weren't sharing the space, the emotional real estate. It was all mine and he was a tenant, you know, like you get to be here for a little bit.

Then calm down.

Then calm down.

Calm down, because weaponizing healing is like.

Calm down, because weaponizing healing is like.

As a therapist, yeah, God, yoke me up quick. And as he was healing, he would say things like that really hurt my feelings, and then I found myself falling into patterns of like, you know, misogyny myself and being like, well, you're just gonna have to get over it, when that would never be appropriate for him to do to me, right, And so when he started saying that, like, hey, it hurt when you expect me to get over that really quickly, because you've made it clear that I can't. I can't track your healing for you. I just have to be along for the journey. And I'm asking you to do the same. And I was like, yes in theory, but in practice, I don't know how I feel about this.

As a therapist, yeah, God, yoke me up quick. And as he was healing, he would say things like that really hurt my feelings, and then I found myself falling into patterns of like, you know, misogyny myself and being like, well, you're just gonna have to get over it, when that would never be appropriate for him to do to me, right, And so when he started saying that, like, hey, it hurt when you expect me to get over that really quickly, because you've made it clear that I can't. I can't track your healing for you. I just have to be along for the journey. And I'm asking you to do the same. And I was like, yes in theory, but in practice, I don't know how I feel about this.

Okay, So let me tell you all of us talking about we want our man, we want your man, Your man, your man needs to go to therapy, yeah, which we do, we do for sure, But what you're saying is we may not be ray for a man who was living in an awareness of his feelings and emotional state and deconstructing systems of patriarchy.

Okay, So let me tell you all of us talking about we want our man, we want your man, Your man, your man needs to go to therapy, yeah, which we do, we do for sure, But what you're saying is we may not be ray for a man who was living in an awareness of his feelings and emotional state and deconstructing systems of patriarchy.

Oh yeah, yeah, I think it was so difficult to let him hurt.

Oh yeah, yeah, I think it was so difficult to let him hurt.

Okay, I'm in true? Okay, So can I ask you? Questions can be so random? Sure?

Okay, I'm in true? Okay, So can I ask you? Questions can be so random? Sure?

Are we calling sassy men just emotionally aware men like.

Are we calling sassy men just emotionally aware men like.

This sassy man? Apocalypse? Is this? I think that there's a difference.

This sassy man? Apocalypse? Is this? I think that there's a difference.

But I think that in some ways, yes, I will say that I have felt like sometimes we want the emotionally aware men, but we only want them to have those.

But I think that in some ways, yes, I will say that I have felt like sometimes we want the emotionally aware men, but we only want them to have those.

Traits to serve us, Oh my god.

Traits to serve us, Oh my god.

But the reality is like they deserve to experience them those traits within us, and we are beneficiaries of their own experience of feeling at home in their bodies and in their lives. And so I think that sometimes when we talk about like, oh, the sassy man this, I cannot speak to every experience, y'all, right, But what I can say is a lot of them are men who dare to be honest, and then we shame them for it. Right, We want you to be honest enough to be faithful in the relationship and not honest enough to tell me that tell you that I hurt your feelings, yeah, you know, because then that costs me and for me, I struggled especially, I'm like seminary grab license therapists like Da da and God was like and your means sometimes because there are ways that I just wanted him to be whatever I needed, but I am not. I'm not called to covenant with a thing. I'm called to covenant with a person, which means, like they have their entire life. There are things that deeply wound him, deeply hurt him, and the same way I needed space to just share and unload how he had hurt me, like I needed to be able to reciprocate and allow him to share that without like, well I did this, and I tried this and I fixed this, and like, I think that one of the things I love most about my husband, and one of the things I think is sexious about him, is his tenderness.

But the reality is like they deserve to experience them those traits within us, and we are beneficiaries of their own experience of feeling at home in their bodies and in their lives. And so I think that sometimes when we talk about like, oh, the sassy man this, I cannot speak to every experience, y'all, right, But what I can say is a lot of them are men who dare to be honest, and then we shame them for it. Right, We want you to be honest enough to be faithful in the relationship and not honest enough to tell me that tell you that I hurt your feelings, yeah, you know, because then that costs me and for me, I struggled especially, I'm like seminary grab license therapists like Da da and God was like and your means sometimes because there are ways that I just wanted him to be whatever I needed, but I am not. I'm not called to covenant with a thing. I'm called to covenant with a person, which means, like they have their entire life. There are things that deeply wound him, deeply hurt him, and the same way I needed space to just share and unload how he had hurt me, like I needed to be able to reciprocate and allow him to share that without like, well I did this, and I tried this and I fixed this, and like, I think that one of the things I love most about my husband, and one of the things I think is sexious about him, is his tenderness.

Like he is strong.

Like he is strong.

He's strong enough to look like the weakest person in the room but be able to turn up and take all y'all down.

He's strong enough to look like the weakest person in the room but be able to turn up and take all y'all down.

You know what I'm saying.

You know what I'm saying.

He's strong enough to cry in front of men who is the matter in front of our kids. You know, he's I've seen him worship in our living room and our son come up and say, Daddy, why are you crying? And he's like, because God's been good to me, and that makes me cry. Happy to yours and like, that makes me tear up because I'm like my son, it's going to grow up with the freedom to worship and the freedom to express because it was modeled for him.

He's strong enough to cry in front of men who is the matter in front of our kids. You know, he's I've seen him worship in our living room and our son come up and say, Daddy, why are you crying? And he's like, because God's been good to me, and that makes me cry. Happy to yours and like, that makes me tear up because I'm like my son, it's going to grow up with the freedom to worship and the freedom to express because it was modeled for him.

But that demanded of me to.

But that demanded of me to.

Say, you are allowed to feel and I will not judge how you feel based on the standards of what the world says black men need to look like.

Say, you are allowed to feel and I will not judge how you feel based on the standards of what the world says black men need to look like.

So that's a thing.

So that's a thing.

Yeah, well you've said quite a few things here, Yeah, that I don't even know because I think a lot of times when we talk about healing the fractures between men and women as it relates to romantic relationships, it's generally talking about what the man has done wrong. Yeah, and the ways that men need to grow, what men need to rise to the occasion. Men need to be more emotionally aware, they need to do their work.

Yeah, well you've said quite a few things here, Yeah, that I don't even know because I think a lot of times when we talk about healing the fractures between men and women as it relates to romantic relationships, it's generally talking about what the man has done wrong. Yeah, and the ways that men need to grow, what men need to rise to the occasion. Men need to be more emotionally aware, they need to do their work.

And yet we have not.

And yet we have not.

Prepared ourselves for what that evolved man would look like. And we women involved and They're like, we need man evolved, we need man involved. We mean man evolve, And basically we want men who can serve the version of us we have become without taking any inventory at all about who we are going to become in order to serve this version of who they are.

Prepared ourselves for what that evolved man would look like. And we women involved and They're like, we need man evolved, we need man involved. We mean man evolve, And basically we want men who can serve the version of us we have become without taking any inventory at all about who we are going to become in order to serve this version of who they are.

Yes, yes, and even saying I want you to become this so that I can feel more safe with you.

Yes, yes, and even saying I want you to become this so that I can feel more safe with you.

Yeah, what if the person.

Yeah, what if the person.

That God is calling that man to be is not someone you feel comfortable with. It should be someone you feel safe with emotionally, physically, all the things, but like maybe it challenges you.

That God is calling that man to be is not someone you feel comfortable with. It should be someone you feel safe with emotionally, physically, all the things, but like maybe it challenges you.

Yeah, you know, I think we're so used.

Yeah, you know, I think we're so used.

To sometimes being the source of challenge for other people, calling people higher, that we forget that there are contexts in which we are going to be called hire. And for me, that was letting my husband's journey be his and not about how I could feel better, you know. So, like a rule we have is when we go to therapy, we do not share what we talked about in therapy unless we want to, And we don't even put ourselves in this position where someone feels uncomfortable about.

To sometimes being the source of challenge for other people, calling people higher, that we forget that there are contexts in which we are going to be called hire. And for me, that was letting my husband's journey be his and not about how I could feel better, you know. So, like a rule we have is when we go to therapy, we do not share what we talked about in therapy unless we want to, And we don't even put ourselves in this position where someone feels uncomfortable about.

You ask me, So we don't ask.

You ask me, So we don't ask.

So the only time we know what's happened in therapy is when someone said, Hey, I want to talk to you about what came up in therapy.

So the only time we know what's happened in therapy is when someone said, Hey, I want to talk to you about what came up in therapy.

You know, because his.

You know, because his.

Space, he deserves a space to be free, the same way I deserve a space to be free.

Space, he deserves a space to be free, the same way I deserve a space to be free.

And me and my therapist be cutting up.

And me and my therapist be cutting up.

You know, I'm upset with somebody. I'm like, this is our Instagram? I was, can you pull up?

You know, I'm upset with somebody. I'm like, this is our Instagram? I was, can you pull up?

No?

No?

Not that one? The one download?

Not that one? The one download?

And so like he needs that same safe space and I love that he has that. I want him to have that. And it also made me realize my life is not defined by his wellness, you know that, Like I'm responsible. There's things in my life that I wanted to outsource to him. I wanted to outsource my self.

And so like he needs that same safe space and I love that he has that. I want him to have that. And it also made me realize my life is not defined by his wellness, you know that, Like I'm responsible. There's things in my life that I wanted to outsource to him. I wanted to outsource my self.

Esteem to him.

Esteem to him.

You make me feel good instead of me build my self esteem from internally. You make me feel secure and confident. Now, there's a part of relationship. That's a part of that, But like the bulk of what I'm called to be is my responsibility.

You make me feel good instead of me build my self esteem from internally. You make me feel secure and confident. Now, there's a part of relationship. That's a part of that, But like the bulk of what I'm called to be is my responsibility.

You are added onto that.

You are added onto that.

You know, you support that, you compliment that, you nurture it. But it has to exist because I've done the work for it to be there.

You know, you support that, you compliment that, you nurture it. But it has to exist because I've done the work for it to be there.

Okay, so when we talk about trauma playing out and relationship. Oh yeah, I am recognizing when I met my husband, I was in a really great place. I bought my home in Texas as me and my two kids. I've gotten out of a toxic marriage, and I was just finally at a place where I was like, I can trust myself, I love myself. My story doesn't make me cringe.

Okay, so when we talk about trauma playing out and relationship. Oh yeah, I am recognizing when I met my husband, I was in a really great place. I bought my home in Texas as me and my two kids. I've gotten out of a toxic marriage, and I was just finally at a place where I was like, I can trust myself, I love myself. My story doesn't make me cringe.

I pick up.

I pick up.

I moved to Los Angeles and I'm in this unfamiliar, fast paced city without as much support as I had been used to. My brother was here, I had a family friend here, but that's drastic in comparison to how much support I had. And I found myself I think clinging to him creating my esteem, my confidence. And even if you don't move to a new city, you have a new baby, you lose a job, you take on a new job. Home is this place where it is where I should be able to find my footing. But because he's got his own thing and he's going through life himself, this may not be the place where I am finding my footing. And I think I found myself afraid anytime he had a bad day, even if it didn't have anything to do with me. At like this isn't going to work. He's upset with me? What did I do? I've learned a lot and grown a lot, But I do think it goes back to that putting all of our dependency on this one person's emotional state and making sure that they're offering us that sense of comfort.

I moved to Los Angeles and I'm in this unfamiliar, fast paced city without as much support as I had been used to. My brother was here, I had a family friend here, but that's drastic in comparison to how much support I had. And I found myself I think clinging to him creating my esteem, my confidence. And even if you don't move to a new city, you have a new baby, you lose a job, you take on a new job. Home is this place where it is where I should be able to find my footing. But because he's got his own thing and he's going through life himself, this may not be the place where I am finding my footing. And I think I found myself afraid anytime he had a bad day, even if it didn't have anything to do with me. At like this isn't going to work. He's upset with me? What did I do? I've learned a lot and grown a lot, But I do think it goes back to that putting all of our dependency on this one person's emotional state and making sure that they're offering us that sense of comfort.

How do we.

How do we.

Identify the way that our trauma becomes a filter for maybe not just our partner's actions, but for everyone's actions, Like, how do I know like that's coming through the trauma filter, this is coming through the healed filter.

Identify the way that our trauma becomes a filter for maybe not just our partner's actions, but for everyone's actions, Like, how do I know like that's coming through the trauma filter, this is coming through the healed filter.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think A question that I get my clients to answer is what are your automatic expectations and when did they start becoming expectations?

I think A question that I get my clients to answer is what are your automatic expectations and when did they start becoming expectations?

Right?

Right?

When did you automatically start feeling like if a friend mister birthday, they didn't like you anymore? Like what birthday did you realize like, I now have this expectation?

When did you automatically start feeling like if a friend mister birthday, they didn't like you anymore? Like what birthday did you realize like, I now have this expectation?

Okay?

Okay?

What are the things that you automatically expect people to do and if they don't do them? You can say to yourself, I knew this was going to happen, or this was just like or this always happens, right, anytime we hear ourselves saying this always happens or like this is just like or I can never Those points to patterns, Like those statements, they point to patterns and help us see there's something internally that's happened in the past that I am trying to resolve in the present, and I'm trying to protect myself in the future.

What are the things that you automatically expect people to do and if they don't do them? You can say to yourself, I knew this was going to happen, or this was just like or this always happens, right, anytime we hear ourselves saying this always happens or like this is just like or I can never Those points to patterns, Like those statements, they point to patterns and help us see there's something internally that's happened in the past that I am trying to resolve in the present, and I'm trying to protect myself in the future.

I'm trying to offer something myselfish tribute. But the way you came in here so violent. I'm not really feeling that. But I feel like being the sister that I am to the delegation, that I should offer myself is tribute so they can do their work. Okobe, I just met you, and I'm telling you, if you drag me, I'm not so far from.

I'm trying to offer something myselfish tribute. But the way you came in here so violent. I'm not really feeling that. But I feel like being the sister that I am to the delegation, that I should offer myself is tribute so they can do their work. Okobe, I just met you, and I'm telling you, if you drag me, I'm not so far from.

Eve that I won't kick back this. And you got nails on I don't, so let me so you can help me. You can help me?

Eve that I won't kick back this. And you got nails on I don't, so let me so you can help me. You can help me?

Oh my gosh, Okay you ready. So I was doing a podcast and the person at the end starts saying a lot of nice things about me. Yeah, and I don't like it. I don't like when people say nice things about me. Therapy me is that the trauma field? Is that a trauma filter?

Oh my gosh, Okay you ready. So I was doing a podcast and the person at the end starts saying a lot of nice things about me. Yeah, and I don't like it. I don't like when people say nice things about me. Therapy me is that the trauma field? Is that a trauma filter?

Well, I will say this, All healing starts with getting curious and so before I make a judgment, I will ask questions. Okay, what do you feel in your body when someone compliments you, Oh, you are.

Well, I will say this, All healing starts with getting curious and so before I make a judgment, I will ask questions. Okay, what do you feel in your body when someone compliments you, Oh, you are.

Just like doctor, and that's why she likes you. I feel nerves, fear. Where do you feel in your body, like at my stomach?

Just like doctor, and that's why she likes you. I feel nerves, fear. Where do you feel in your body, like at my stomach?

Yeah?

Yeah?

When else do you feel that in your stomach? What else do you have like that sensation.

When else do you feel that in your stomach? What else do you have like that sensation.

In your stomach.

In your stomach.

When I'm about to preach?

When I'm about to preach?

Yeah?

Yeah?

What do you feel when you preach in it or before? In it? Free? Yeah?

What do you feel when you preach in it or before? In it? Free? Yeah?

When we're free, we often feel seen. And being seen is vulnerable. Being seen is vulnerable, Being seen is intimate, and it can feel scary when someone who has not spent time with you see something of you that is so intimate and so real, because it means that there's a part of you on the inside that's living on the outside and the world can see it.

When we're free, we often feel seen. And being seen is vulnerable. Being seen is vulnerable, Being seen is intimate, and it can feel scary when someone who has not spent time with you see something of you that is so intimate and so real, because it means that there's a part of you on the inside that's living on the outside and the world can see it.

So when I don't like that, I don't like being seen that way.

So when I don't like that, I don't like being seen that way.

No, I don't think it means you don't like being seen that way. I think it just is unnerving sometimes to be intimate with people who you are not with. Rather, it's hard to feel like there are people who have access to intimacy with you that you have not chosen intimacy with and that's what we would call a parasocial relationship. Like you know of me, and you know me partially, but you don't know me in here. So when you call out something in here that you can see from out there, all the way out there, Oh, that means that the way I'm living, what I'm projecting is real.

No, I don't think it means you don't like being seen that way. I think it just is unnerving sometimes to be intimate with people who you are not with. Rather, it's hard to feel like there are people who have access to intimacy with you that you have not chosen intimacy with and that's what we would call a parasocial relationship. Like you know of me, and you know me partially, but you don't know me in here. So when you call out something in here that you can see from out there, all the way out there, Oh, that means that the way I'm living, what I'm projecting is real.

People see me.

People see me.

And when people see you, they can hurt you, right, they can celebrate, you can lift you up, they can tear you down. It's just a vulnerable way of existing.

And when people see you, they can hurt you, right, they can celebrate, you can lift you up, they can tear you down. It's just a vulnerable way of existing.

So if someone is choosing to live a life where they're like, you know what, I want to be free, I want to be whole, Like what do you think we have to surrender in order to live that way?

So if someone is choosing to live a life where they're like, you know what, I want to be free, I want to be whole, Like what do you think we have to surrender in order to live that way?

Certainty about anything, Certainty about what we think life is supposed to be, like, what partnership is supposed to be, Like who we are, who the people we are called to are, who God is like remaining ultimately curious and just saying like, I'm willing to learn, I'm willing to find out I don't know, and even what I think I know, I'm willing to be found wrong.

Certainty about anything, Certainty about what we think life is supposed to be, like, what partnership is supposed to be, Like who we are, who the people we are called to are, who God is like remaining ultimately curious and just saying like, I'm willing to learn, I'm willing to find out I don't know, and even what I think I know, I'm willing to be found wrong.

Okay, this is so so in my messages. I feel like it.

Okay, this is so so in my messages. I feel like it.

Really has to be like, if it's for you, it's for you, and if it's not, it's not because I feel like I have a responsibility as someone who is standing in the gap between people and what I perceive God is telling me to make sure that I cast a net wide enough to cover different circumstances and scenarios. And so I was talking last month about you know, I got a bad report from the doctor, and there was on one hand where I was like, proclaim your healing, take your healing.

Really has to be like, if it's for you, it's for you, and if it's not, it's not because I feel like I have a responsibility as someone who is standing in the gap between people and what I perceive God is telling me to make sure that I cast a net wide enough to cover different circumstances and scenarios. And so I was talking last month about you know, I got a bad report from the doctor, and there was on one hand where I was like, proclaim your healing, take your healing.

Plead the blood of Jesus, rebuke the disease.

Plead the blood of Jesus, rebuke the disease.

But also I had to wrestle with the reality that there were people who have done all of those things and still got the disease and still died. And I did not want to set myself up or someone else up for this idea of God betrayed me by not giving me what it is that I prayed for, but instead to stretch our reality in such a way that if this is the path that has been approved for you to take, that sometimes healing is not necessarily the disease being gone. Sometimes healing is God giving me the strength to walk this through and still be a light yes, because if we only make it to where things have to turn out the way that I need them to be, that's the only way I have certainty that God is with me, that God is real is if he does it this way, then we miss out on the opportunity of experiencing God's presence and suffering God's presence in pain and in disease. And that's just the reality that God doesn't always show up in the way that we would have wanted him to. But it doesn't mean that we can't access his presence now.

But also I had to wrestle with the reality that there were people who have done all of those things and still got the disease and still died. And I did not want to set myself up or someone else up for this idea of God betrayed me by not giving me what it is that I prayed for, but instead to stretch our reality in such a way that if this is the path that has been approved for you to take, that sometimes healing is not necessarily the disease being gone. Sometimes healing is God giving me the strength to walk this through and still be a light yes, because if we only make it to where things have to turn out the way that I need them to be, that's the only way I have certainty that God is with me, that God is real is if he does it this way, then we miss out on the opportunity of experiencing God's presence and suffering God's presence in pain and in disease. And that's just the reality that God doesn't always show up in the way that we would have wanted him to. But it doesn't mean that we can't access his presence now.

Yes, Yes, and one that is powerful too. I'm sorry about whatever report you got, and I'll be pretul for you for sure. The three that makes me think back to the question you asked me about whether it's trying to the compliments, just thinking that, like you know, when you are thinking about sharing or experience your lived experience, you're still processing how this is going to affect other people, right, And that's not a bad thing. It just means that you know you represent something. So I wonder when people compliment you, it's just like this external affirmation that I represent something. I represent these words that they're sharing to me, And what does that mean?

Yes, Yes, and one that is powerful too. I'm sorry about whatever report you got, and I'll be pretul for you for sure. The three that makes me think back to the question you asked me about whether it's trying to the compliments, just thinking that, like you know, when you are thinking about sharing or experience your lived experience, you're still processing how this is going to affect other people, right, And that's not a bad thing. It just means that you know you represent something. So I wonder when people compliment you, it's just like this external affirmation that I represent something. I represent these words that they're sharing to me, And what does that mean?

Right?

Right?

Does that mean that I can never change. Does this mean that I can't evolve, you know? Does that mean that I can't change? Or does that just affirm what God's told me, you know, behind the scenes. And that's still unnerving. So that was a thought that came to mind. But yeah, I think that a lot of us can identify with what it means to want to look for the manifestation of God's goodness and a person.

Does that mean that I can never change. Does this mean that I can't evolve, you know? Does that mean that I can't change? Or does that just affirm what God's told me, you know, behind the scenes. And that's still unnerving. So that was a thought that came to mind. But yeah, I think that a lot of us can identify with what it means to want to look for the manifestation of God's goodness and a person.

And I don't think that's all bad.

And I don't think that's all bad.

I think that's actually why we're designed for community, and you represent that for a lot of women who look like me.

I think that's actually why we're designed for community, and you represent that for a lot of women who look like me.

Well, you tried to therapy me on the slide before you move to the next thing, and I just wanted to do not I did pick it up.

Well, you tried to therapy me on the slide before you move to the next thing, and I just wanted to do not I did pick it up.

Sorry, girl, I don't know.

Sorry, girl, I don't know.

I don't know if I don't know if it's at what my instinct tells me that it is that makes me uncomfortable, is that, like, I do not think that I trust people to stay and believe the same thing about me, And I think that obviously I have experience that would point to that as a point of pain, but I think it's also just within the culture in general, that you know you love someone the next day they say something you don't like and then they're completely canceled. And so I think that I could receive it if it felt certain, if it felt like I don't want to say, if it felt like truth, but if it felt like something that I could really hang on to. But I do think definitely the enerch out of me is like rejected, don't receive it, because if you come to trust it, they'll rip the blanket off for you and you'll be back in this situation. So I think that that's part of it. It makes me feel uneasy even when, like, you know, the delegation shows me a lot of love and like I want to lean into it, but I also don't want to need it.

I don't know if I don't know if it's at what my instinct tells me that it is that makes me uncomfortable, is that, like, I do not think that I trust people to stay and believe the same thing about me, And I think that obviously I have experience that would point to that as a point of pain, but I think it's also just within the culture in general, that you know you love someone the next day they say something you don't like and then they're completely canceled. And so I think that I could receive it if it felt certain, if it felt like I don't want to say, if it felt like truth, but if it felt like something that I could really hang on to. But I do think definitely the enerch out of me is like rejected, don't receive it, because if you come to trust it, they'll rip the blanket off for you and you'll be back in this situation. So I think that that's part of it. It makes me feel uneasy even when, like, you know, the delegation shows me a lot of love and like I want to lean into it, but I also don't want to need it.

I don't want to trust it.

I don't want to trust it.

And so there's like this awkward dance of me not being able to really see the impact of my life, my ministry, the words because I'm so afraid of it being taken away.

And so there's like this awkward dance of me not being able to really see the impact of my life, my ministry, the words because I'm so afraid of it being taken away.

Yes, Wow, that's so real.

Yes, Wow, that's so real.

And I think that there's actually a middle ground between like I fully accept it or I fully rejected, which could be I'm grateful that how they feel about me right now alignes with who God says I am, and that may change, but It's really nice to hear God's words coming from somebody else in the moment, you know, and like saying I can save this right now, and if you hate me tomorrow, that's all right. I saved it yesterday. You know the proof, and yesterday can't see me today. It's gone, it's already digested, so like I can appreciate that right now you saw a glimpse of who God sees me to be.

And I think that there's actually a middle ground between like I fully accept it or I fully rejected, which could be I'm grateful that how they feel about me right now alignes with who God says I am, and that may change, but It's really nice to hear God's words coming from somebody else in the moment, you know, and like saying I can save this right now, and if you hate me tomorrow, that's all right. I saved it yesterday. You know the proof, and yesterday can't see me today. It's gone, it's already digested, so like I can appreciate that right now you saw a glimpse of who God sees me to be.

And that's beautiful. It's good.

And that's beautiful. It's good.

I gotta figure because I just be is in there awkwardly.

I gotta figure because I just be is in there awkwardly.

Like glitching, definitely glitching, definitely don't know what to say that.

Like glitching, definitely glitching, definitely don't know what to say that.

You're welcome and you got the script in your head. Yeah you know, thank you so much. That means so much. And they'll do this right here because this is where it went.

You're welcome and you got the script in your head. Yeah you know, thank you so much. That means so much. And they'll do this right here because this is where it went.

I just want you to know, regardless of how much I'm glitching, it made its way in here.

I just want you to know, regardless of how much I'm glitching, it made its way in here.

Thank you so much. That means the world. Oh, prayer hands, All pray hands. Is when you've said.

Thank you so much. That means the world. Oh, prayer hands, All pray hands. Is when you've said.

Something when they're going on a little too long and you're just like, for sure, just thanks stop talking though, Yeah, I mean, and then I'd be like dig for something deep and all I can come up with is you're you're welcome.

Something when they're going on a little too long and you're just like, for sure, just thanks stop talking though, Yeah, I mean, and then I'd be like dig for something deep and all I can come up with is you're you're welcome.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know what to say.

Yeah, yeah, what do you want to say?

Yeah, yeah, what do you want to say?

Stop saying that, Stop saying what's you gonna do with me? How many sessions? And can I get a discount? Maybe if you give me your shoes?

Stop saying that, Stop saying what's you gonna do with me? How many sessions? And can I get a discount? Maybe if you give me your shoes?

Well there it is.

Well there it is.

Not Stop saying that, girl, be quiet. Thanks, that's enough you topped me off today. Oh but isn't it crazy that, like we spend so much time warding off the very thing that we like have spent years crying, Oh my gosh, I need.

Not Stop saying that, girl, be quiet. Thanks, that's enough you topped me off today. Oh but isn't it crazy that, like we spend so much time warding off the very thing that we like have spent years crying, Oh my gosh, I need.

It because if they don't say it, I'll be like God, do I matter?

It because if they don't say it, I'll be like God, do I matter?

Do I have to get back?

Do I have to get back?

Like you?

Like you?

And like I I just think about the seasons of my life where I was like face down on the ground, looking absolutely bonkers, crying out like God, no one loves me but you, No.

And like I I just think about the seasons of my life where I was like face down on the ground, looking absolutely bonkers, crying out like God, no one loves me but you, No.

One sees me, no one cares.

One sees me, no one cares.

And now like Di'm and my good friend she said this earlier, she said, you're seen, you are, and I was like thank you, like I am seen. And I think sometimes the enemy will make us want to cringe when we receive the blessing we spent years like asking God for And so now I'd be like I am seen you know, and I enjoy it, and it's okay to enjoy it. You ever feel guilty enjoying it when people celebrate you, Yes, you got to pretend like.

And now like Di'm and my good friend she said this earlier, she said, you're seen, you are, and I was like thank you, like I am seen. And I think sometimes the enemy will make us want to cringe when we receive the blessing we spent years like asking God for And so now I'd be like I am seen you know, and I enjoy it, and it's okay to enjoy it. You ever feel guilty enjoying it when people celebrate you, Yes, you got to pretend like.

You're like fake couple, you know what I mean.

You're like fake couple, you know what I mean.

But like I don't remember where I heard it, but I remember hearing humble is not downplaying your greatness. Humble is staying in the assigned position God has placed you. This is the assigned position. So uh yeah, I'm gonna receive the compliments, say thank you so much. And I'm not going to pretend I don't like the perks, because I would. I prayed for these perks when I was in the hospital almost lost my life with my son. I pray for these perks, you know, when I was like wondering if I wanted to live anymore.

But like I don't remember where I heard it, but I remember hearing humble is not downplaying your greatness. Humble is staying in the assigned position God has placed you. This is the assigned position. So uh yeah, I'm gonna receive the compliments, say thank you so much. And I'm not going to pretend I don't like the perks, because I would. I prayed for these perks when I was in the hospital almost lost my life with my son. I pray for these perks, you know, when I was like wondering if I wanted to live anymore.

So I've been processing that in therapy.

So I've been processing that in therapy.

Really, how other people feel about me joyfully receiving what God's blessed me with, because I think it makes other people uncomfortable, and that's what makes me uncomfortable.

Really, how other people feel about me joyfully receiving what God's blessed me with, because I think it makes other people uncomfortable, and that's what makes me uncomfortable.

Okay, yeah, I think especially I'm protective, especially on social media, because I really be trying to like make sure that I take into consider all of the different scenarios, so like.