When you make a habit of pretending so that other people can find you digestible, eventually you choke on yourself. You can't stomach it, you can't swallow it, because you don't even know who you really are. All that I know is who I am, not other people.

When you make a habit of pretending so that other people can find you digestible, eventually you choke on yourself. You can't stomach it, you can't swallow it, because you don't even know who you really are. All that I know is who I am, not other people.

A lot of people over the year, they're not theirselfs because something outen for their smile, you know. And I have felt myself in twenty years, and so I want to tell women like it's not too late, like get in there, like let's get it taken care of, let's do it.

A lot of people over the year, they're not theirselfs because something outen for their smile, you know. And I have felt myself in twenty years, and so I want to tell women like it's not too late, like get in there, like let's get it taken care of, let's do it.

I'm gonna evolve, make some noise. I'm getting ready. I'm getting my voice ready because September twenty sixth through twenty eighth, that is going to be the first thing that comes out of my mouth. Like womany but we back at what I cannot wait? How are you woman? Evolved podcast? We beck I am your girl s j R. How are you doing? I am I'm doing okay. I don't believe that I have recorded since before I went to South Africa, and so I just want you all to know that if you're praying for me, thinking about me, send some love my way. I definitely felt it. We had an incredible time there. We went to Cape Town and Johannesburg. I did a whole video vlog about our travel. So we went from Dallas to Doha, Doha to Cape Town, and we flew an airline called Qatar Airlines and things to know about Me, So I enjoyed very long flights. Eight nine hours is simply not long enough for me. Six hours not long enough. Like I get a see, I'm ready to get off the plane. You give me an old, nasty sixteen hour flight, an old, raggedy seventeen and I am literally on vacation. And so this was our first time flying this airline and it was quite the experience. And let me tell you, Beverly Hillbillies acting like you've never been anywhere was me. I pressed all of the buttons, I did all of the things. I know them flights, I had my camera out the entire time. I literally know that those fighting attendants were so sick of me, but they didn't act like it, because the customer service was absolutely exceptional. Anything they offered me I took it, Yes, I would yes, please, oh yeah sure. And if PT turned it down, I was like, I'll take kids because I want the full experience. So everything from the travel to the actual encounters was amazing. I some of you may not be speakers, so I'm just going to say that no matter what you do on purpose, when you are moving in purpose in a new capacity or a new territory, it can be intimidating. And I definitely felt intimidation going into South Africa. I have so much honor and respect anytime I go anywhere because you just don't know what people are up against. As an American, I have somewhat of a pulse of what the day to day life can look like for different types of people and different background but I didn't know what to expect in South Africa from a culture standpoint, from an experienced standpoint, and so being able to serve them was something I was excited but intimidated about, and so I just asked, God, give me wisdom, give me direction, make me sensitive to what you want to see happen in this room, and it was my heart literally gets sol well, my oh, let me turn my phone oop SPT. Anyways, we're actually going to be airing one of the encounters on I think it's going to be on one online's YouTube might just follow me I'll give you all the details, or don't follow me, just stalk my page and you'll get the details. Uh, but we're gonna air it on YouTube. And man, it was blessed. So that was I came home last week on like Tuesday, and then I dove right back into work. Womn Evolve is right around the corner. There are so many just decisions we need to make about production, staging, the flow, scheduling, travel, just things that you can't even imagine, registration process and hours, and I was overwhelmed. I'll be honest. My husband and I have assumed the assistant senior pastor role in Dallas and are beginning to get just even more integrated, not just into the Dallas community, but also you know, asking God, like what role are we supposed to play here? And becoming more of a staple part of the leadership, and so there's more responsibility there. I'm going somewhere, I promise you, and so wanment Evolve Church. My kids start school this week and sell school supplies back to school shopping, also trying to make the best of the last little parts of summer. Mackenzie's birthday is this week she turns fifteen, which somebody called the nurse. Someone please call nine to one one. Do you remember you? Of course you do. Anyways, So I was overwhelmed. So I spent Tuesday through Friday being oh and I was preaching in Dallas yesterday, So I spent most of the week kind of being like jet lag, but still like taking meetings, doing all other things. By time Friday came, I had crashed. I was. And what's funny is I did a live on Instagram on Friday, Instagram, YouTube and Facebook, and I felt like so strong, so energetic, just like so in the flow of what God wanted to say and do on Friday. And I think that was around two o'clock and then probably around four completely different person. Overwhelmed, stressed, and adequate, I will say. And between the time that I ended the live and the time that I started having these feelings, and I was on my laptop really turning my face towards Sunday and thinking, Okay, like I've done all of these things, now gout, what do you want me to say on Sunday? So I'm like hardest posture to like seek the Lord about my word for Sunday. And I did see a video and I went down a rabbit trail, and usually I don't see negative conversations about me, but I went down this rabbit trail and I saw some things, and I know that I was stressed and overwhelmed. I'm just being honest with you guys and human, like you know, your girl's not a superhero. And I begin to question literally everything, like you don't have if you if you would, if you had what it took to do X, Y and Z, then you wouldn't be stressed, you wouldn't be overwhelmed. This is a sign that you don't have what it takes. And then I saw these videos and you know, I'm like, see, and you're doing things wrong. You're disappointing God like a spiral, and mind you. I'm trying to figure out what I'm preaching on Sunday and nothing. Nothing. And then so I put my laptop down, I go sit on my bank and first I'm like doing my deep breathing, I'm like doing my somatic tapping my body. I'm doing all these things and then I just started praying. And initially, like my first prayer was like God, if you're trying to tell me that this isn't what I'm supposed to do or in some way, this is you trying to get my attention, Like I surrender, like if that means I need to I don't need to have a conference, Like maybe I'm not the person that you want at the helm of this, Like I surrender, like I want nothing more than to be in your will God, I will lay it all down. I don't want to leave people astray, like I want people to know Jesus and to understand the power of being in relationship with Him. And if I'm not the one to do that, like, I will lay it Like I literally was like I can lay like I don't want it. I don't want it if it's not you. And I still felt this heaviness, and I was just like, maybe God's trying to get my attention because I know I ever just want to just shrug off what could be conviction. It didn't feel like conviction, but I just didn't want to be so prideful in my idea of my life, my world, my purpose that I shrugged off something God was trying to tell me. So I really tried to start in like a posture of listening and humility, and then I started praying, you know, like all of those things are true. But then I was like, but if this is the enemy, like Satan, I rebuke you. I bind you in the name of Jesus. Like I was just speaking in tongues. I was just like laying in my bed. Literally my eyes were closed, I had my headphones on, and I was just like going in it's giving prayer, praying grandmother. And when I tell you, and like immediately I felt, I felt it left off of me. I felt oppression, depression, frustration, tired, weariness. I felt it left off of me. And it's just a necessary reminder for me that like, you don't get to do the will of God without the will of God being contestant. Out let me say that better, Like you don't get to do the will of God without your role in the will being contested. I feel like we need to let that simmer, Like you don't get to say yes, I am going to change the direction. I try to You guys probably notice this about me when I'm preaching, But I try to not just limit people to like my perspective, and I try to imagine what does this look like for other people? But like whatever it is God's called you to do when changing in industry or changing your family, changing your community, that is going to go directly up against what has caused trauma, pain, darkness, mental health issues, health issues. Whenever God has given you the power, the insight, the wisdom, the vision to inject His will in an area where there has been depression and destruction, you just have to know that that will not be contested. And there's a fine line between wanting to be sensitive to how the Lord may be ordering your steps and also recognizing that sometimes you have to fight for the right to take them. And so I prayed, I preached on Sunday. I was I.

I'm gonna evolve, make some noise. I'm getting ready. I'm getting my voice ready because September twenty sixth through twenty eighth, that is going to be the first thing that comes out of my mouth. Like womany but we back at what I cannot wait? How are you woman? Evolved podcast? We beck I am your girl s j R. How are you doing? I am I'm doing okay. I don't believe that I have recorded since before I went to South Africa, and so I just want you all to know that if you're praying for me, thinking about me, send some love my way. I definitely felt it. We had an incredible time there. We went to Cape Town and Johannesburg. I did a whole video vlog about our travel. So we went from Dallas to Doha, Doha to Cape Town, and we flew an airline called Qatar Airlines and things to know about Me, So I enjoyed very long flights. Eight nine hours is simply not long enough for me. Six hours not long enough. Like I get a see, I'm ready to get off the plane. You give me an old, nasty sixteen hour flight, an old, raggedy seventeen and I am literally on vacation. And so this was our first time flying this airline and it was quite the experience. And let me tell you, Beverly Hillbillies acting like you've never been anywhere was me. I pressed all of the buttons, I did all of the things. I know them flights, I had my camera out the entire time. I literally know that those fighting attendants were so sick of me, but they didn't act like it, because the customer service was absolutely exceptional. Anything they offered me I took it, Yes, I would yes, please, oh yeah sure. And if PT turned it down, I was like, I'll take kids because I want the full experience. So everything from the travel to the actual encounters was amazing. I some of you may not be speakers, so I'm just going to say that no matter what you do on purpose, when you are moving in purpose in a new capacity or a new territory, it can be intimidating. And I definitely felt intimidation going into South Africa. I have so much honor and respect anytime I go anywhere because you just don't know what people are up against. As an American, I have somewhat of a pulse of what the day to day life can look like for different types of people and different background but I didn't know what to expect in South Africa from a culture standpoint, from an experienced standpoint, and so being able to serve them was something I was excited but intimidated about, and so I just asked, God, give me wisdom, give me direction, make me sensitive to what you want to see happen in this room, and it was my heart literally gets sol well, my oh, let me turn my phone oop SPT. Anyways, we're actually going to be airing one of the encounters on I think it's going to be on one online's YouTube might just follow me I'll give you all the details, or don't follow me, just stalk my page and you'll get the details. Uh, but we're gonna air it on YouTube. And man, it was blessed. So that was I came home last week on like Tuesday, and then I dove right back into work. Womn Evolve is right around the corner. There are so many just decisions we need to make about production, staging, the flow, scheduling, travel, just things that you can't even imagine, registration process and hours, and I was overwhelmed. I'll be honest. My husband and I have assumed the assistant senior pastor role in Dallas and are beginning to get just even more integrated, not just into the Dallas community, but also you know, asking God, like what role are we supposed to play here? And becoming more of a staple part of the leadership, and so there's more responsibility there. I'm going somewhere, I promise you, and so wanment Evolve Church. My kids start school this week and sell school supplies back to school shopping, also trying to make the best of the last little parts of summer. Mackenzie's birthday is this week she turns fifteen, which somebody called the nurse. Someone please call nine to one one. Do you remember you? Of course you do. Anyways, So I was overwhelmed. So I spent Tuesday through Friday being oh and I was preaching in Dallas yesterday, So I spent most of the week kind of being like jet lag, but still like taking meetings, doing all other things. By time Friday came, I had crashed. I was. And what's funny is I did a live on Instagram on Friday, Instagram, YouTube and Facebook, and I felt like so strong, so energetic, just like so in the flow of what God wanted to say and do on Friday. And I think that was around two o'clock and then probably around four completely different person. Overwhelmed, stressed, and adequate, I will say. And between the time that I ended the live and the time that I started having these feelings, and I was on my laptop really turning my face towards Sunday and thinking, Okay, like I've done all of these things, now gout, what do you want me to say on Sunday? So I'm like hardest posture to like seek the Lord about my word for Sunday. And I did see a video and I went down a rabbit trail, and usually I don't see negative conversations about me, but I went down this rabbit trail and I saw some things, and I know that I was stressed and overwhelmed. I'm just being honest with you guys and human, like you know, your girl's not a superhero. And I begin to question literally everything, like you don't have if you if you would, if you had what it took to do X, Y and Z, then you wouldn't be stressed, you wouldn't be overwhelmed. This is a sign that you don't have what it takes. And then I saw these videos and you know, I'm like, see, and you're doing things wrong. You're disappointing God like a spiral, and mind you. I'm trying to figure out what I'm preaching on Sunday and nothing. Nothing. And then so I put my laptop down, I go sit on my bank and first I'm like doing my deep breathing, I'm like doing my somatic tapping my body. I'm doing all these things and then I just started praying. And initially, like my first prayer was like God, if you're trying to tell me that this isn't what I'm supposed to do or in some way, this is you trying to get my attention, Like I surrender, like if that means I need to I don't need to have a conference, Like maybe I'm not the person that you want at the helm of this, Like I surrender, like I want nothing more than to be in your will God, I will lay it all down. I don't want to leave people astray, like I want people to know Jesus and to understand the power of being in relationship with Him. And if I'm not the one to do that, like, I will lay it Like I literally was like I can lay like I don't want it. I don't want it if it's not you. And I still felt this heaviness, and I was just like, maybe God's trying to get my attention because I know I ever just want to just shrug off what could be conviction. It didn't feel like conviction, but I just didn't want to be so prideful in my idea of my life, my world, my purpose that I shrugged off something God was trying to tell me. So I really tried to start in like a posture of listening and humility, and then I started praying, you know, like all of those things are true. But then I was like, but if this is the enemy, like Satan, I rebuke you. I bind you in the name of Jesus. Like I was just speaking in tongues. I was just like laying in my bed. Literally my eyes were closed, I had my headphones on, and I was just like going in it's giving prayer, praying grandmother. And when I tell you, and like immediately I felt, I felt it left off of me. I felt oppression, depression, frustration, tired, weariness. I felt it left off of me. And it's just a necessary reminder for me that like, you don't get to do the will of God without the will of God being contestant. Out let me say that better, Like you don't get to do the will of God without your role in the will being contested. I feel like we need to let that simmer, Like you don't get to say yes, I am going to change the direction. I try to You guys probably notice this about me when I'm preaching, But I try to not just limit people to like my perspective, and I try to imagine what does this look like for other people? But like whatever it is God's called you to do when changing in industry or changing your family, changing your community, that is going to go directly up against what has caused trauma, pain, darkness, mental health issues, health issues. Whenever God has given you the power, the insight, the wisdom, the vision to inject His will in an area where there has been depression and destruction, you just have to know that that will not be contested. And there's a fine line between wanting to be sensitive to how the Lord may be ordering your steps and also recognizing that sometimes you have to fight for the right to take them. And so I prayed, I preached on Sunday. I was I.

Prayed.

Prayed.

I got that thing off of me. God gave me a message. I felt good about the message. Sunday. I was the only senior leadership person there in Dallas. So imagine being feeling inadequate when I'm already like nerves, like I'm just human, just human nerves, right, but also like having to navigate that warfare would have been crazy. So I've got nerves. But so Sunday, this is my you know, I'm manning the service. I'm the senior leadership person there. And I say I'm a line. I need to stop that. Oh why does that even matter? Because so, oh, this is my first time I did the back to school prayer. I oh, the lights flickered before service even started. When I was in the building. The power cut completely off and came back on. So I'm on the phone with Secured, like, if this happens while I'm there, what are the evacuation protocols? Do we evacuate? You know, do we have sound? And so like I'm receiving this rundown because I'm you know, if it go down, I'm going up, you know what I mean. And it's so funny because I had this whole conversation like, you know, first of all, we if it go out, it's gonna be about ten churchy people to like the devil trying to stop my praise. And we're gonna have at least thirty minutes of a glow in the dark praise. But it's hot in Texas. If it go out and stay out, we're gonna need to evacuate. The praise gonna at least need to be outside where we got some ventilation. So I had that stress running in the back of my mind. Back to school prayer. I'm going back to school myself. I know the nerves and insecurity connected with that. And someone say that makes you the perfect person to pray. Someone else will be like some sist, we need to pray for you, and so you know doing the offering, which offering is so interesting to me because I know my personal convictions on giving, Like I believe in what God is doing in the earth through the Church. I know that God is the soul provided for so many of the things that I've been able to do in my life. Like maybe the opportunity came from target, or the opportunity came from speaking or writing, but at the end of the day, God gave me the gift. God put me on the minds of those people. And so baby, I don't want nothing in my bank account that doesn't sell back into what God's doing on the earth. But like unpacking that to someone is like, let me tell you the hardest part about being mean, then I'm a mind your business. The hardest part about being me is that like though God has given me this anointing, in this gift that helps people to feel loved, seen and valued by Him and to ultimately draw closer to Him, my own relationship with the Lord is something that I cherish, and it's very intimate and sacred to me. And part of what I think makes me feel shy and nervous and triggered is that I'm taking my personal relationship with the Lord and putting it on display. Mind you, growing up, you know my relationship. It wasn't good. You don't speak in tongues, you don't clap on me, You're going to hell. You nad to the baby. And so it feels very vulnerable for me to say, like, hey, guys, this is what the Lord is showing me, teaching me. These are the principles that have been important in my relationship with the Lord. But I do it anyway because if God says I can do it, I can do it. So anyways, Wow, thank you for the therapy session. I'm not going to pay you. If you're still listening, I just thank God for you. I say all of that today Sunday, when I got finished between the warfare, the jetlag, the moved, and then when I got finished, I literally said, I quit, like not quit, like the way the Devil had me trying to quit on Friday. But I am done. They sent me clips to review. I was like I could, I will never listen to these clips. I felt like the mess. I said what God told me to say. I did what God told me to do. I believe it was effective for those who need it. I got some amazing testimonies. I don't want to see the clips. If I post these clips, it's because I got a good night's rest. But anyways, I was finished on Sundays. So today's Monday, I'm recording this. It's late the team, you know, God bless me. I'm gonna do better, feel better. But it's Monday. I'm recording this podcast. Thank you for listening to my heart and minding my business. I got some rest, I got up. I boxed this morning. I felt good, just getting some nerves and anxiety out of my body. I took the girls to a jump house. We getting hair and done. We got back to school night. It's a lot going on, but I feel better and safer in my body and my spirit and my relationship with God than I did on Friday, and less exposed than I felt on Sunday. No pressure, and so I'm bringing I'm going on vacation next week, so be praise Holy Ghost. Okay, so wow, now that I have minded your no, now that you have minded my business, what are the chances that you would like me to mind geors? Are they slim to none because she doesn't have her life together? Or who better to tell me about my raggedy than someone who knows raggedy themselves. I'm glad you said the latter part, because here we go. Are you ready? We mind in business? This week's question says, I recently turned twenty five this year in May, and I've discovered I have no idea who I am. For context, I was adopted from birth, lived with my adoptive parents until they're passing when I was fourteen and fifteen fifteen, my father sixteen my mother at the time I'm twenty sixteen. At the time, I wasn't looking to figure out who I was. I knew what I liked and what I used to like when I was younger. But then I went to college and by the time I was done, I was almost twenty three and had nothing figured out. Those years between then and now became a blurb. I had failed friendships and relationships with family. I never took the time to figure myself out, and now at twenty five. I wish I had the guidance of my parents. My mother was a minister and my father was dedicated to gospel music. I knew I wanted to make them proud, but losing them so young really affected my life. So sometimes I fell short and I feel like I have fallen and I can't get back to where I'm supposed to be. But where even is that? Lol? I know God has created a path for me, but sometimes I feel so disconnected from God and from everyone. How can I get closer to God? How do I get closer to me? At this age? Is it too late to figure myself out? The person that I've portrayed to other people is not me. I know that. I'm just not sure who I really am. But I know God knows me, and I want to know him not as a little girl who didn't understand what the pastor was saying, or who didn't understand why I had to live with no parents, but as this twenty five year old woman who wants God by her side. I hope my email reaches Sarah and I can get a few tips from her. What a girly Your email reached me, and I am really grateful that you would allow yourself to be open and transparent with me about where you are in your relationship with God. I am thirty six years old, and I have to tell you that for you to be asking, is it too late for you to get your life together at twenty five? No, ma'am. It sounds like, first of all, you checked a lot of boxes at twenty five that many of us have not had an opportunity to check. I want you to know that it is so difficult to figure out who you are, even when you have a family system and structure that is supportive, it can be difficult to figure out who you are outside of your family and their expectations. And then I can imagine, though I don't know personally, that when you don't have those foundational pillars in your life, that it's more difficult because you don't even have someone who you can lean on it. And so I count it as an honor that God would use me to be a part of the village that is going to speak into your life and cover you. I believe right now that there are so many other people who are going to come alongside friends, teachers, employers, mentors who are going to be a part of God just covering you in the midst of what feels like exposure. I also want to say that you being sensitive enough to know that who you present yourself as is not who you really are is the beginning of finding out who you are. I believe that you have an opportunity to ask yourself, what is it about who I present myself as that doesn't align with who I am authentically? And why not if you allow people to believe that you're so strong, or you allow people to feel like maybe you have a need that you don't have, Like, why do I allow that? What do I receive from that? Is it connection? Is it a sense of belonging? What do I keep from them? Do I have to minimize my voice? Do I have to pretend that I like going out when I really don't. I want you to begin to understand what is it that you receive from them and also what are you diminishing within yourself in order to be in connection with them. Whenever we begin to have these types of conversations, people don't really do this work because at the end of the day, they don't want to lose those connections. I want you to know that doing this work doesn't mean that you immediately make a decision best case scenario. You marinate and activate immediately. Marinate and activate is a term that I use in my book power Mos, where we marinate on an idea and then we activate it. Most people don't marinate and activate immediately. But I want you to begin marinating on the ways that you are pretending to be someone else, why you pretend to be someone else, and who you would be instead. That is the beginning of you understanding your truth. It is important for you to understand what authenticity is for you and what your truth is, because we want God to meet you there. When you make a habit of pretending so that other people can find you digestible, eventually you choke on yourself. When you make a habit of diminishing who you are so that you can be digestible to other people, you end up choking on who you really are. You can't stomach it, you can't swallow it, because you don't even know who you really are. All that I know is who I am to other people. And so I want to encourage you to figure out who you are for yourself by getting down to your truth. And then that is the truth we take to God. God, I am lonely. God. I do things that I don't want to do because I have this ache and this heart in my heart, and I would like your presence to meet me here, to meet me in my vulnerability. One of the things that I have found really instrumentals. Whenever I'm feeling the way, I go to the Bible and I'm like Jesus ever felt this way, And then I find moments where Jesus felt something similar. We do not have a high priest who cannot empathize with our suffering. And so I want you to understand that if there's anyone in what I love about the Bible is there's not a scenario in the Bible that does not cover something that we have gone through and how God responds to those things that are happening within our life. And so I just want you to know that the presence of God wants to meet you. It's not too late for you to figure out who you are. As a matter of fact, anytime is the perfect time. You can be twenty five, you can be forty, you can be sixty, you could be twelve years old. Anytime is the right time for you to take this hunger. What I believe is ultimately the Holy Spirit drawing you into perfect truth and into authenticity and into obedi and love and taking that and allowing your life to be defined by that. I want you to be rooted in a consciousness of love, a consciousness of belonging that gives your soul rest and allows you to feel free to show up in this world as all of who you are. There's so much that I can say about this, but I really hope that this is just the beginning. And I want you to know that at the end of the day that you may find yourself in this situation again. You may be thirty, Your life could be radically different. You could have it all, you could have nothing at all, and you may be asking yourself who am I. Getting to learn who you are is a lifelong journey, So get comfortable as a student. As you get comfortable as a student, you become sensitive to the lessons that God's trying to teach you. I love you, I'm grateful. Please send me and email in an update and let me know how this resonated with you. Because you deserve to have people who pour into you. You are worthy of it and I'm grateful to be one of the people that God's using. Really looking forward to sharing with you the conversation that I had with doctor Amira. God has made it clear to me that part of woman evolves imprint on the earth is to primary Like I want to say this right, our primary existence centers around allowing the love of God to meet you, change you, transform you, convict you wherever you are, to make you feel safe enough to have those encounters. Also to make sure that we can accompany you on every part of your journey of womanhood. And so that's why we we like to have fun. We like to have conversations about about sisterhood, and we also try to make sure that we're thinking about what all is connected with you and your world. How can we give back to those who are going back to school, how can we help during the holidays. We like to think about not just your spiritual, emotional, mental, but also your practical and professional needs. When planning for women evove, I've always tried to make it a point to make sure that we have full encompassing conversations that we're not just focusing exclusively on your spiritual walk and development. Though, like I said that is our primary function, but also how do we take care of the temples, the bodies, the minds that God has given us. Part of what you're going to experience at Woman Evolved twenty four is we have a body panel. The body panel exists to help you understand what surrender looks like in the context of wellness for our bodies. What are some changes we need to make. What are some conversations that we need to be having with our daughters as we're aging and our hormones are fluctuating, because those all play a role in how we facilitate the spirit that God has given us. My conversation today is with one of the guests who will be joining us at Woman Evolve. Her name is doctor Emir and she is an award winning cosmetic dentist, mentor and women's empowerment advocate. She leverages her influence to make impact. She was born in Egypt immigrated to the United States with her father. She was a single parent. He was a single parent, traveling with his three young children. Her first years in America were spent in poverty. She watched her father work many jobs as he tried to create a life for her and her siblings. And this is not an unfamiliar thread for those of you who have experienced the stories of immigrants into America. But she attributes a lot of her success, her mentality, her upbringing to those early exposures. But what I found most interesting in our conversation is how her relationship with who was now her husband, but at the time I believe they were just dating, really shaped her spiritual walk in journey. And so I can't wait for you guys to meet her. She is the youngest graduate of Howard University's College of Dentistry. She graduated at the age of twenty three years old, and she is an incredibly brilliant, beautiful, phenomenal woman who unpacks with us the journey of her success, and our conversation actually stumbled into us wanting to do some giveaways for a smile makeover for those of you all who are coming to Womnibov twenty four. So I look forward to you giving me your feedback on this conversation. I really enjoyed it, and I believe you will too. Okay, doctor Emir, I have to ask you. So, you're beautiful, You're talented, you are inspirational on your content, You're authentic. It's funny, like there are so many attributes that we get to experience of you online, but I wanted to spend some time understanding like just the backdrop behind your story. And so I think I want to start this interview by asking you, like, what is the most surprising thing that you have had to surrender in order to become who you are.

I got that thing off of me. God gave me a message. I felt good about the message. Sunday. I was the only senior leadership person there in Dallas. So imagine being feeling inadequate when I'm already like nerves, like I'm just human, just human nerves, right, but also like having to navigate that warfare would have been crazy. So I've got nerves. But so Sunday, this is my you know, I'm manning the service. I'm the senior leadership person there. And I say I'm a line. I need to stop that. Oh why does that even matter? Because so, oh, this is my first time I did the back to school prayer. I oh, the lights flickered before service even started. When I was in the building. The power cut completely off and came back on. So I'm on the phone with Secured, like, if this happens while I'm there, what are the evacuation protocols? Do we evacuate? You know, do we have sound? And so like I'm receiving this rundown because I'm you know, if it go down, I'm going up, you know what I mean. And it's so funny because I had this whole conversation like, you know, first of all, we if it go out, it's gonna be about ten churchy people to like the devil trying to stop my praise. And we're gonna have at least thirty minutes of a glow in the dark praise. But it's hot in Texas. If it go out and stay out, we're gonna need to evacuate. The praise gonna at least need to be outside where we got some ventilation. So I had that stress running in the back of my mind. Back to school prayer. I'm going back to school myself. I know the nerves and insecurity connected with that. And someone say that makes you the perfect person to pray. Someone else will be like some sist, we need to pray for you, and so you know doing the offering, which offering is so interesting to me because I know my personal convictions on giving, Like I believe in what God is doing in the earth through the Church. I know that God is the soul provided for so many of the things that I've been able to do in my life. Like maybe the opportunity came from target, or the opportunity came from speaking or writing, but at the end of the day, God gave me the gift. God put me on the minds of those people. And so baby, I don't want nothing in my bank account that doesn't sell back into what God's doing on the earth. But like unpacking that to someone is like, let me tell you the hardest part about being mean, then I'm a mind your business. The hardest part about being me is that like though God has given me this anointing, in this gift that helps people to feel loved, seen and valued by Him and to ultimately draw closer to Him, my own relationship with the Lord is something that I cherish, and it's very intimate and sacred to me. And part of what I think makes me feel shy and nervous and triggered is that I'm taking my personal relationship with the Lord and putting it on display. Mind you, growing up, you know my relationship. It wasn't good. You don't speak in tongues, you don't clap on me, You're going to hell. You nad to the baby. And so it feels very vulnerable for me to say, like, hey, guys, this is what the Lord is showing me, teaching me. These are the principles that have been important in my relationship with the Lord. But I do it anyway because if God says I can do it, I can do it. So anyways, Wow, thank you for the therapy session. I'm not going to pay you. If you're still listening, I just thank God for you. I say all of that today Sunday, when I got finished between the warfare, the jetlag, the moved, and then when I got finished, I literally said, I quit, like not quit, like the way the Devil had me trying to quit on Friday. But I am done. They sent me clips to review. I was like I could, I will never listen to these clips. I felt like the mess. I said what God told me to say. I did what God told me to do. I believe it was effective for those who need it. I got some amazing testimonies. I don't want to see the clips. If I post these clips, it's because I got a good night's rest. But anyways, I was finished on Sundays. So today's Monday, I'm recording this. It's late the team, you know, God bless me. I'm gonna do better, feel better. But it's Monday. I'm recording this podcast. Thank you for listening to my heart and minding my business. I got some rest, I got up. I boxed this morning. I felt good, just getting some nerves and anxiety out of my body. I took the girls to a jump house. We getting hair and done. We got back to school night. It's a lot going on, but I feel better and safer in my body and my spirit and my relationship with God than I did on Friday, and less exposed than I felt on Sunday. No pressure, and so I'm bringing I'm going on vacation next week, so be praise Holy Ghost. Okay, so wow, now that I have minded your no, now that you have minded my business, what are the chances that you would like me to mind geors? Are they slim to none because she doesn't have her life together? Or who better to tell me about my raggedy than someone who knows raggedy themselves. I'm glad you said the latter part, because here we go. Are you ready? We mind in business? This week's question says, I recently turned twenty five this year in May, and I've discovered I have no idea who I am. For context, I was adopted from birth, lived with my adoptive parents until they're passing when I was fourteen and fifteen fifteen, my father sixteen my mother at the time I'm twenty sixteen. At the time, I wasn't looking to figure out who I was. I knew what I liked and what I used to like when I was younger. But then I went to college and by the time I was done, I was almost twenty three and had nothing figured out. Those years between then and now became a blurb. I had failed friendships and relationships with family. I never took the time to figure myself out, and now at twenty five. I wish I had the guidance of my parents. My mother was a minister and my father was dedicated to gospel music. I knew I wanted to make them proud, but losing them so young really affected my life. So sometimes I fell short and I feel like I have fallen and I can't get back to where I'm supposed to be. But where even is that? Lol? I know God has created a path for me, but sometimes I feel so disconnected from God and from everyone. How can I get closer to God? How do I get closer to me? At this age? Is it too late to figure myself out? The person that I've portrayed to other people is not me. I know that. I'm just not sure who I really am. But I know God knows me, and I want to know him not as a little girl who didn't understand what the pastor was saying, or who didn't understand why I had to live with no parents, but as this twenty five year old woman who wants God by her side. I hope my email reaches Sarah and I can get a few tips from her. What a girly Your email reached me, and I am really grateful that you would allow yourself to be open and transparent with me about where you are in your relationship with God. I am thirty six years old, and I have to tell you that for you to be asking, is it too late for you to get your life together at twenty five? No, ma'am. It sounds like, first of all, you checked a lot of boxes at twenty five that many of us have not had an opportunity to check. I want you to know that it is so difficult to figure out who you are, even when you have a family system and structure that is supportive, it can be difficult to figure out who you are outside of your family and their expectations. And then I can imagine, though I don't know personally, that when you don't have those foundational pillars in your life, that it's more difficult because you don't even have someone who you can lean on it. And so I count it as an honor that God would use me to be a part of the village that is going to speak into your life and cover you. I believe right now that there are so many other people who are going to come alongside friends, teachers, employers, mentors who are going to be a part of God just covering you in the midst of what feels like exposure. I also want to say that you being sensitive enough to know that who you present yourself as is not who you really are is the beginning of finding out who you are. I believe that you have an opportunity to ask yourself, what is it about who I present myself as that doesn't align with who I am authentically? And why not if you allow people to believe that you're so strong, or you allow people to feel like maybe you have a need that you don't have, Like, why do I allow that? What do I receive from that? Is it connection? Is it a sense of belonging? What do I keep from them? Do I have to minimize my voice? Do I have to pretend that I like going out when I really don't. I want you to begin to understand what is it that you receive from them and also what are you diminishing within yourself in order to be in connection with them. Whenever we begin to have these types of conversations, people don't really do this work because at the end of the day, they don't want to lose those connections. I want you to know that doing this work doesn't mean that you immediately make a decision best case scenario. You marinate and activate immediately. Marinate and activate is a term that I use in my book power Mos, where we marinate on an idea and then we activate it. Most people don't marinate and activate immediately. But I want you to begin marinating on the ways that you are pretending to be someone else, why you pretend to be someone else, and who you would be instead. That is the beginning of you understanding your truth. It is important for you to understand what authenticity is for you and what your truth is, because we want God to meet you there. When you make a habit of pretending so that other people can find you digestible, eventually you choke on yourself. When you make a habit of diminishing who you are so that you can be digestible to other people, you end up choking on who you really are. You can't stomach it, you can't swallow it, because you don't even know who you really are. All that I know is who I am to other people. And so I want to encourage you to figure out who you are for yourself by getting down to your truth. And then that is the truth we take to God. God, I am lonely. God. I do things that I don't want to do because I have this ache and this heart in my heart, and I would like your presence to meet me here, to meet me in my vulnerability. One of the things that I have found really instrumentals. Whenever I'm feeling the way, I go to the Bible and I'm like Jesus ever felt this way, And then I find moments where Jesus felt something similar. We do not have a high priest who cannot empathize with our suffering. And so I want you to understand that if there's anyone in what I love about the Bible is there's not a scenario in the Bible that does not cover something that we have gone through and how God responds to those things that are happening within our life. And so I just want you to know that the presence of God wants to meet you. It's not too late for you to figure out who you are. As a matter of fact, anytime is the perfect time. You can be twenty five, you can be forty, you can be sixty, you could be twelve years old. Anytime is the right time for you to take this hunger. What I believe is ultimately the Holy Spirit drawing you into perfect truth and into authenticity and into obedi and love and taking that and allowing your life to be defined by that. I want you to be rooted in a consciousness of love, a consciousness of belonging that gives your soul rest and allows you to feel free to show up in this world as all of who you are. There's so much that I can say about this, but I really hope that this is just the beginning. And I want you to know that at the end of the day that you may find yourself in this situation again. You may be thirty, Your life could be radically different. You could have it all, you could have nothing at all, and you may be asking yourself who am I. Getting to learn who you are is a lifelong journey, So get comfortable as a student. As you get comfortable as a student, you become sensitive to the lessons that God's trying to teach you. I love you, I'm grateful. Please send me and email in an update and let me know how this resonated with you. Because you deserve to have people who pour into you. You are worthy of it and I'm grateful to be one of the people that God's using. Really looking forward to sharing with you the conversation that I had with doctor Amira. God has made it clear to me that part of woman evolves imprint on the earth is to primary Like I want to say this right, our primary existence centers around allowing the love of God to meet you, change you, transform you, convict you wherever you are, to make you feel safe enough to have those encounters. Also to make sure that we can accompany you on every part of your journey of womanhood. And so that's why we we like to have fun. We like to have conversations about about sisterhood, and we also try to make sure that we're thinking about what all is connected with you and your world. How can we give back to those who are going back to school, how can we help during the holidays. We like to think about not just your spiritual, emotional, mental, but also your practical and professional needs. When planning for women evove, I've always tried to make it a point to make sure that we have full encompassing conversations that we're not just focusing exclusively on your spiritual walk and development. Though, like I said that is our primary function, but also how do we take care of the temples, the bodies, the minds that God has given us. Part of what you're going to experience at Woman Evolved twenty four is we have a body panel. The body panel exists to help you understand what surrender looks like in the context of wellness for our bodies. What are some changes we need to make. What are some conversations that we need to be having with our daughters as we're aging and our hormones are fluctuating, because those all play a role in how we facilitate the spirit that God has given us. My conversation today is with one of the guests who will be joining us at Woman Evolve. Her name is doctor Emir and she is an award winning cosmetic dentist, mentor and women's empowerment advocate. She leverages her influence to make impact. She was born in Egypt immigrated to the United States with her father. She was a single parent. He was a single parent, traveling with his three young children. Her first years in America were spent in poverty. She watched her father work many jobs as he tried to create a life for her and her siblings. And this is not an unfamiliar thread for those of you who have experienced the stories of immigrants into America. But she attributes a lot of her success, her mentality, her upbringing to those early exposures. But what I found most interesting in our conversation is how her relationship with who was now her husband, but at the time I believe they were just dating, really shaped her spiritual walk in journey. And so I can't wait for you guys to meet her. She is the youngest graduate of Howard University's College of Dentistry. She graduated at the age of twenty three years old, and she is an incredibly brilliant, beautiful, phenomenal woman who unpacks with us the journey of her success, and our conversation actually stumbled into us wanting to do some giveaways for a smile makeover for those of you all who are coming to Womnibov twenty four. So I look forward to you giving me your feedback on this conversation. I really enjoyed it, and I believe you will too. Okay, doctor Emir, I have to ask you. So, you're beautiful, You're talented, you are inspirational on your content, You're authentic. It's funny, like there are so many attributes that we get to experience of you online, but I wanted to spend some time understanding like just the backdrop behind your story. And so I think I want to start this interview by asking you, like, what is the most surprising thing that you have had to surrender in order to become who you are.

That's a good one. Well, first, thank you for all those wonderful words. I need you, like in my ear every morning before I wake up. I got you. Honestly, I think that growing up, our family, you know, came to this country we can, from Egypt, you know, straight straight from Africa, And I think that in my early years we lived a really a lifelike of poverty. And there were times I say that, like we went school shopping at Goodwill, and I have fond memories of making sure we chose like the right you know, the best genes that didn't look worn, and you know, just watching my father struggle to like really build us up. And I'll never forget. I think I was probably, you know, maybe ten years old, and it's such a young age to like understand the power of God. And when we talk about surrender. But I just remember feeling like I trust God, like there's a bigger purpose here and this can't really be what life is about. Like there's so much more and there's so much more that God is going to give us. And you know, my older sister who raised me used to always say like things are going to get better, Things are going to get better. And I really feel like that was God, you know, like even like speaking through her. So it was at a really young age that I think I realized, like, this is not of me, this is of God.

That's a good one. Well, first, thank you for all those wonderful words. I need you, like in my ear every morning before I wake up. I got you. Honestly, I think that growing up, our family, you know, came to this country we can, from Egypt, you know, straight straight from Africa, And I think that in my early years we lived a really a lifelike of poverty. And there were times I say that, like we went school shopping at Goodwill, and I have fond memories of making sure we chose like the right you know, the best genes that didn't look worn, and you know, just watching my father struggle to like really build us up. And I'll never forget. I think I was probably, you know, maybe ten years old, and it's such a young age to like understand the power of God. And when we talk about surrender. But I just remember feeling like I trust God, like there's a bigger purpose here and this can't really be what life is about. Like there's so much more and there's so much more that God is going to give us. And you know, my older sister who raised me used to always say like things are going to get better, Things are going to get better. And I really feel like that was God, you know, like even like speaking through her. So it was at a really young age that I think I realized, like, this is not of me, this is of God.

That's so good. We've been talking this month just about the power of belief, and I feel like having a belief that contradicts your reality can kind of be Yeah, it can be difficult because oftentimes the evidence of the reality tries to change your belief. But protecting your belief in the midst of that, I believe helps you to keep your eyes open for what in your reality connects to that belief, if that makes sense. So I feel like that's just an incredible nugget for people who are listening that if you have a belief that you're able to protect regardless of what your reality may speak, then you also have an opportunity to keep your eyes open and for what's happening in your world that could lead to that belief. Do you remember the moment where things began to like shift in your life and you're like, this is the better that I already believed in, now it's actually within reach.

That's so good. We've been talking this month just about the power of belief, and I feel like having a belief that contradicts your reality can kind of be Yeah, it can be difficult because oftentimes the evidence of the reality tries to change your belief. But protecting your belief in the midst of that, I believe helps you to keep your eyes open for what in your reality connects to that belief, if that makes sense. So I feel like that's just an incredible nugget for people who are listening that if you have a belief that you're able to protect regardless of what your reality may speak, then you also have an opportunity to keep your eyes open and for what's happening in your world that could lead to that belief. Do you remember the moment where things began to like shift in your life and you're like, this is the better that I already believed in, now it's actually within reach.

Yeah, yeah, actually I do. I actually remember the exact day because there were so many of us living in this two bedroom apartment and my dad like on the side, had been like saving and working and we pulled up to this home and it was two stories, like you know, I pulled up. It had like a whole driveway and it was like like I'm like, oh, my dad's working on a job or something, and he's like, this is our home. And I just remember feeling like I knew it, like I knew it. And based on what you just said, it's like faith, believing in things unseen. You know, it's so hard sometimes because you're like, God, you know, I'm praying, I'm hoping, I'm believing, but like you said, your reality is like this, not exactly you know, but that is faith and that's just what it's been. And honestly, since that moment, and I'm so happy that it was at such a young age. I really took that and allowed it to really be a part of my life with everything, you know, career, relationships, children, marriage, So that was that was big.

Yeah, yeah, actually I do. I actually remember the exact day because there were so many of us living in this two bedroom apartment and my dad like on the side, had been like saving and working and we pulled up to this home and it was two stories, like you know, I pulled up. It had like a whole driveway and it was like like I'm like, oh, my dad's working on a job or something, and he's like, this is our home. And I just remember feeling like I knew it, like I knew it. And based on what you just said, it's like faith, believing in things unseen. You know, it's so hard sometimes because you're like, God, you know, I'm praying, I'm hoping, I'm believing, but like you said, your reality is like this, not exactly you know, but that is faith and that's just what it's been. And honestly, since that moment, and I'm so happy that it was at such a young age. I really took that and allowed it to really be a part of my life with everything, you know, career, relationships, children, marriage, So that was that was big.

Okay, So what do you feel like came first? Like were you more career focused in minded and then found yourself balancing a family or was family always something that you wanted and then could the career popped off or did you always know you wanted to basically have it all.

Okay, So what do you feel like came first? Like were you more career focused in minded and then found yourself balancing a family or was family always something that you wanted and then could the career popped off or did you always know you wanted to basically have it all.

I mean I knew I wanted both, but I always I always say the same thing, and I always say you can have it all, just not all at the same time. And what I mean by that is that in the early stages of my career, it was like career, career, career. You know, I was really job focused, I was really driven. I was trying to reach the top of my you know, industry, and you know, relationships, like the idea of marriage kind of like took you know, a back seat. And then I did get married and I had children, and there were times when you know, I couldn't be present as much with my career, you know, and when people always use the word balance, and I'm always like, there is no such thing, because you can never give one hundred percent of yourself to all those areas because that's not balance. And there's times that your family and your children are going to get poored into more, and then there's some times that you know your job and your career is going to get poured into more. But what I tell people, especially career women and career mothers, is that you know, when that mom guilt starts to kind of try to sink in, it makes you feel like, oh my gosh, you're focused on this. I think about the representation I'm giving my children, my daughter seeing a woman with her skin color and her background, you know, achieving these things like you know, walking into my office and feeling like this is my mother's like this is something that she's built, you know, having my son see you know what a woman who you know could potentially be his wife one babe would be like you know, and be able to build and so so yeah, you know, people always like say, oh my god, you have it all, and I'm like, you know, I haven't always, you know, and it doesn't always feel like that, you know, but we give ourselves grace.

I mean I knew I wanted both, but I always I always say the same thing, and I always say you can have it all, just not all at the same time. And what I mean by that is that in the early stages of my career, it was like career, career, career. You know, I was really job focused, I was really driven. I was trying to reach the top of my you know, industry, and you know, relationships, like the idea of marriage kind of like took you know, a back seat. And then I did get married and I had children, and there were times when you know, I couldn't be present as much with my career, you know, and when people always use the word balance, and I'm always like, there is no such thing, because you can never give one hundred percent of yourself to all those areas because that's not balance. And there's times that your family and your children are going to get poored into more, and then there's some times that you know your job and your career is going to get poured into more. But what I tell people, especially career women and career mothers, is that you know, when that mom guilt starts to kind of try to sink in, it makes you feel like, oh my gosh, you're focused on this. I think about the representation I'm giving my children, my daughter seeing a woman with her skin color and her background, you know, achieving these things like you know, walking into my office and feeling like this is my mother's like this is something that she's built, you know, having my son see you know what a woman who you know could potentially be his wife one babe would be like you know, and be able to build and so so yeah, you know, people always like say, oh my god, you have it all, and I'm like, you know, I haven't always, you know, and it doesn't always feel like that, you know, but we give ourselves grace.

Okay, So I love that you mentioned that you can have it all, just maybe not all at the same time, because I speak to a lot of professional women who feel like I have thrown a lot of myself into my career so much so that I am not even sure if I have capacity for a relationship, if I want to have to go through some of the sacrifices of time and energy that goes into having children and raising good family. Which I don't push my agenda on anyone. It's just a conversation that I often hear women exploring, and then women who have maybe decided to have children who feel like they are left behind from what they thought their career path would be. Can we talk a little bit about how taking time away from one thing can make you feel like you're also losing in that area or you're going to get behind. Did you find that to be true, that you like got behind in your career because you stopped to have children and to focus on your family.

Okay, So I love that you mentioned that you can have it all, just maybe not all at the same time, because I speak to a lot of professional women who feel like I have thrown a lot of myself into my career so much so that I am not even sure if I have capacity for a relationship, if I want to have to go through some of the sacrifices of time and energy that goes into having children and raising good family. Which I don't push my agenda on anyone. It's just a conversation that I often hear women exploring, and then women who have maybe decided to have children who feel like they are left behind from what they thought their career path would be. Can we talk a little bit about how taking time away from one thing can make you feel like you're also losing in that area or you're going to get behind. Did you find that to be true, that you like got behind in your career because you stopped to have children and to focus on your family.

So I wouldn't say that I felt like I got left behind, but I definitely it was hard on both ends. You know, there were I remember there was a time when I had like a really I got a call and it was like a huge name, and they were like they want to fly in. They they have this case and you know, we're going to do it, and I was like sure, and I was so focused on this is so big for my career, for my brand, and I needed and I wanted. It was like I've been praying for this, I've been working so hard for this moment. And when they asked for a date, I said yes to the date so happy, I'm doing the case. Everything's going great, and I'm finally like leaving my office and my husband's like, are you close? And I'm like, am I close to what? You know? And he's like, you know, our daughters. It was like a Christmas singing event and I'm like, oh my god, you know. And I remember crying in the car, like I'm such a horrible mom, Like how did I you know? And there's going to be moments like that and that. In that moment, I was like how this was so important to her and we talked about it and we practice and it's like I felt like a failure in that moment as a mother that I was so clouded with, you know, career, and I think that it's it's so needed for mothers and career women to have these conversations because we feel seen because was I a horrible mother? No, but in the moment, I felt it and I made, you know, a mistake, and I think that that happens, and so I definitely felt like, man, you know, you should have done better. And like you said, vice versa on the other end, you know, when I had my children, I really wanted to breastfeed. That was something that was important to me. So I stayed home. I breast that, I pumped. I did like the whole make make my own children's baby food. Like I was like really like you know, one of those people at that moment, and I was like, this is my time for my kids. And I had to turn down cases and I couldn't be as present in my office. But I just think that it's really part of like the life journey, and I think God has a way of building our character through these experiences. You know, He also teaches us in that moment, like forgiving ourselves like I had to. That was not something I was used to doing because I held myself to the standard of like you have to get everything right. And God was teaching me in that time with my daughter, like self forgiveness, like forgive yourself, like you forgive so many people around you, like forgive yourself, and that's like growth, and we talk about surrender. It's like really being like, Okay, I don't have it all, I don't have it figured out, and I'm not perfect. Only God is, and so let that go, you know, let that idea go and give yourself grace. So yeah, I think that that it's hard. It's so hard, you know, and people will tell you when they're really being honest, like it's so hard to try and be the best at everything at one time. We just can't. And that's why I love the word grace, Like you have to give yourself grace. We're doing the best that we can and we learn, you know, we have a hiccups and we learn from it and say, you know, how can I how can I be better? Like how can I, you know, be more present? And then that's just the life journey.

So I wouldn't say that I felt like I got left behind, but I definitely it was hard on both ends. You know, there were I remember there was a time when I had like a really I got a call and it was like a huge name, and they were like they want to fly in. They they have this case and you know, we're going to do it, and I was like sure, and I was so focused on this is so big for my career, for my brand, and I needed and I wanted. It was like I've been praying for this, I've been working so hard for this moment. And when they asked for a date, I said yes to the date so happy, I'm doing the case. Everything's going great, and I'm finally like leaving my office and my husband's like, are you close? And I'm like, am I close to what? You know? And he's like, you know, our daughters. It was like a Christmas singing event and I'm like, oh my god, you know. And I remember crying in the car, like I'm such a horrible mom, Like how did I you know? And there's going to be moments like that and that. In that moment, I was like how this was so important to her and we talked about it and we practice and it's like I felt like a failure in that moment as a mother that I was so clouded with, you know, career, and I think that it's it's so needed for mothers and career women to have these conversations because we feel seen because was I a horrible mother? No, but in the moment, I felt it and I made, you know, a mistake, and I think that that happens, and so I definitely felt like, man, you know, you should have done better. And like you said, vice versa on the other end, you know, when I had my children, I really wanted to breastfeed. That was something that was important to me. So I stayed home. I breast that, I pumped. I did like the whole make make my own children's baby food. Like I was like really like you know, one of those people at that moment, and I was like, this is my time for my kids. And I had to turn down cases and I couldn't be as present in my office. But I just think that it's really part of like the life journey, and I think God has a way of building our character through these experiences. You know, He also teaches us in that moment, like forgiving ourselves like I had to. That was not something I was used to doing because I held myself to the standard of like you have to get everything right. And God was teaching me in that time with my daughter, like self forgiveness, like forgive yourself, like you forgive so many people around you, like forgive yourself, and that's like growth, and we talk about surrender. It's like really being like, Okay, I don't have it all, I don't have it figured out, and I'm not perfect. Only God is, and so let that go, you know, let that idea go and give yourself grace. So yeah, I think that that it's hard. It's so hard, you know, and people will tell you when they're really being honest, like it's so hard to try and be the best at everything at one time. We just can't. And that's why I love the word grace, Like you have to give yourself grace. We're doing the best that we can and we learn, you know, we have a hiccups and we learn from it and say, you know, how can I how can I be better? Like how can I, you know, be more present? And then that's just the life journey.

Oh man, that story about motherhood really resonated with me. I have We are a blended family. We have six children. Four of them are older, like in their twenties, but the two younger ones are fourteen and eight. And I'm at this interesting stage of like when I'm home I'm like fully present, I'm picking them up, I'm taking them to school, doing all of the things in my mind. I'm like, cause I know I'm going to be gone, and when I'm gone, I want you to at least know when I was present. I was present, but still trying to balance this idea of like did I fail? You know what I mean? This trip was planned over a year ago, which means I can't go to the thing, And I've tried to remind myself in those moments, like it's not my life. They need to know that my life does not necessarily center around them, fully though it is a large part of my life, because I want them to hold that truth for themselves as they become women and have their own families too, Like it's okay for me to still have a dream, and you know, mommy loves what she does, and mommy gets to do something. You know how you love play practice when mommy loves this, and so I try to break it down in their language. I feel like I check off the boxes most of the time, but in the moments where I'm not checking their box, I want them to know that I am checking a box that is important to me too. But it is so hard.

Oh man, that story about motherhood really resonated with me. I have We are a blended family. We have six children. Four of them are older, like in their twenties, but the two younger ones are fourteen and eight. And I'm at this interesting stage of like when I'm home I'm like fully present, I'm picking them up, I'm taking them to school, doing all of the things in my mind. I'm like, cause I know I'm going to be gone, and when I'm gone, I want you to at least know when I was present. I was present, but still trying to balance this idea of like did I fail? You know what I mean? This trip was planned over a year ago, which means I can't go to the thing, And I've tried to remind myself in those moments, like it's not my life. They need to know that my life does not necessarily center around them, fully though it is a large part of my life, because I want them to hold that truth for themselves as they become women and have their own families too, Like it's okay for me to still have a dream, and you know, mommy loves what she does, and mommy gets to do something. You know how you love play practice when mommy loves this, and so I try to break it down in their language. I feel like I check off the boxes most of the time, but in the moments where I'm not checking their box, I want them to know that I am checking a box that is important to me too. But it is so hard.

It's so funny what you just said about like hopefully you're teaching them also like when they have their children and their families and stuff, because I'm so used to telling you know, my daughter like she's like, oh my gosh, sure you're going on another trip or you're doing this, And I'm like, and I have these conversations with her and I sit her down and I'm like, you know, mommy also needs to be filled up, you know if I'm having a girls trip, you know, because I need to. I pour out so much. And so like the other day, she was like watching her show and I like come in and I'm like talking to her and stuff, and she's like, I'm so sorry, mommy, but remember when you were talking about your girls trips and like, and I'm like and then she's like, I was like, so you just kind of like want your time, your moment. She's like, yeah, I don't want to hurt your feelings. She's eight. She's like, but yeah, I was like, oh, I was like, okay, Like no problem. So you know, it's it's funny because they're learning, and I think it's it's good. It's it's a good thing.

It's so funny what you just said about like hopefully you're teaching them also like when they have their children and their families and stuff, because I'm so used to telling you know, my daughter like she's like, oh my gosh, sure you're going on another trip or you're doing this, And I'm like, and I have these conversations with her and I sit her down and I'm like, you know, mommy also needs to be filled up, you know if I'm having a girls trip, you know, because I need to. I pour out so much. And so like the other day, she was like watching her show and I like come in and I'm like talking to her and stuff, and she's like, I'm so sorry, mommy, but remember when you were talking about your girls trips and like, and I'm like and then she's like, I was like, so you just kind of like want your time, your moment. She's like, yeah, I don't want to hurt your feelings. She's eight. She's like, but yeah, I was like, oh, I was like, okay, Like no problem. So you know, it's it's funny because they're learning, and I think it's it's good. It's it's a good thing.

I want your eight year old to me my eight year old, because it sounds like they will be having meditator and girl time and doing all the things together.

I want your eight year old to me my eight year old, because it sounds like they will be having meditator and girl time and doing all the things together.

Probably. So she told me the other day she's a really bright girl. And she told me she was talking about her little brother and our new puppy and she was saying that he was telling the dog to like stop, and she goes, I'm just so proud of him because he's advocating for himself. And I'm like, excuse right.

Probably. So she told me the other day she's a really bright girl. And she told me she was talking about her little brother and our new puppy and she was saying that he was telling the dog to like stop, and she goes, I'm just so proud of him because he's advocating for himself. And I'm like, excuse right.

Can we talk about how gentle parenting is turning on this because you have to advocate for yourself. Those are literally words that I tell you. Make sure you're advocating for yourself.

Can we talk about how gentle parenting is turning on this because you have to advocate for yourself. Those are literally words that I tell you. Make sure you're advocating for yourself.

It's it's it's beautiful though. It's beautiful to see like are like, we're pouring in her work and I'm like, oh my god, like you're yeah, so it's it's great.

It's it's it's beautiful though. It's beautiful to see like are like, we're pouring in her work and I'm like, oh my god, like you're yeah, so it's it's great.

Are you raising your children in the way that you were raised? Is it a little different? A lot different?

Are you raising your children in the way that you were raised? Is it a little different? A lot different?

You know, actually in a lot of ways. A lot of the things that I got on my thought my father was like who raised us? He's a single parent, and he was really strict, and so I'm realizing that as much as I was like it was too much and he was too on top of us. I'm realizing that I'm I'm like so similar, like certain things she's not allowed to do and where can she go? And so I'm really strict with her, kind of like my father was, and I get that from him. Or like education, my dad was like super big on like straight a's and you have to be the top of your class, and so we're like that. But one thing I do that's very different is that I show her like a lot of love and affection. And I think because I was raised by a father, you know, men show their love differently or a lot of times, I shouldn't say all men, but a lot of times, like my father's way of love was like providing for us, like working two three jobs, like protecting us. You know, it wasn't often that I was like embraced or kiss so I'm always like hugging and kissing and you know, trying to show them like that affection type of love, which was different than what I had growing up. And then obviously, you know, we have a struggle that growing up, I can really appreciate everything I have because we grow up with so little but you know, you work so hard and you achieve all this because you want to give your kids the best life, but then you struggle with I want you to still like appreciate what you have. I want you to like understand, And so that can be tricky at times because you know, she she goes to a private school, and you know, we we don't live in a two bedroom house with seven people like I did, you know, and she doesn't have to go to Goodwill. So we try our best to teach them about you know, giving back and like you know, when there is like hurricane efforts and other countries, there are cities that we you know, go together with the kids to like pack up stuff so they can understand, like you know, and just just trying to teach them best we can about like underserved communities and things like that because they're growing up so different than I did. You know. No one had to take me to see that because it was what I experienced and what I lived. So that part, you know, could be can be different and a little challenging.