No entering noticed Stockholm. Oh yeah, got it all up in feel so good. I just gotta wanted to push you here. When you read some of this role, when you read some of this role to your word, should you rose into your word? Hello? You made it? You made it? What a week? What a week? Holy ship. First of all, we are recording, so let's give a shout out. It's going out tomorrow. This is our first ever podcast. We have ever had guest host from the fans. We are so excited. Uh, Katie and Anna and I got together yesterday literally for like two hours. We went through all the submissions and uh, we couldn't fucking decide. So each of you gets to do something tonight. What yeah, fuck it, that's right. And then I kind of decided. I was packing and I was like, oh my god. I was like, do I do I wear my cold shoulder? Taught like Pago is a lot of texting with Paget. She said, you did cold shoulder in Nashville where your overall? Yeah, So anybody is here can see this quirky body in full display. The toursto of a six ft nine man on a five ft three Scandinavian human god I also just want to say, Chicago, Chicago, what the ship the weather? I loved Chicago. I lived here for a year. I started here. Oh god, I just ate and drank. I got so fat. It was the best. Nobody cared. Nobody cared. I got hit on. It was like it was. I was always in a park on it. And it didn't matter if you're listening out there and you're a lady and you're like burritos and sea breezes, like I do, move to Chicago. Um but you guys, seriously, I landed. There was a monsoon today. I mean there was like legit like a hump day monsoon, right, which is wonderful if you have a hair like I like. Literally, I don't know if any of you guys I have straight here basically except for I have like a like a perm and that like I like I I looked like before like an hour ago. It was like Goldie hawn and overboard and I was like, you know what, I am gonna get a tight perm in my bangs just for the podcast. Um ah, I and I just have to address it. What the like it? It was the Bachelor franchise trying to kill us this week. Like, are you kidding? Were first of all, Aaron stuck in New York? Can I just say I know? Because she's testing for a TV show, So that's good. So we hope, Aaron, that we hope by the time this error is that you've gotten at So that was the good news. But she's been texting me. She made it. They led her out in time to get to the airport and all the flights were grounded. So it's just us, you guys, which means that Mike opened up so literally, her not being here made more of you able to be part of the podcast Eat a Bag of Tecks? Aaron, um uh, but I mean truly, it's like, what are you talking about? Basketball? Basketball? That's a sport. Where where is There was no episode this Monday night? Like right, don't you feel like we're in like a support group of like we were all ready Monday night came. I mean, it's literally the only night of the week I feel alive. Monday night showed up. Where's Rachel? I've never even heard of the Goal. I don't know. I'm like, what Golden State Ward? The only reason that I know about them is because she dated Kevin Durant, who I had never heard of until a week ago, and then this Batchelor Paradise fiasco. It's like, oh my god, oh my god, Like I mean, that's all such a nightmare. But it's like, wait a minute, you're telling me we made what are we gonna do this summer? And apparently Wells was gonna be orgey? Okay? He are you ken me? That's how I partner was like, Wells, are you setting it up as like a couple of things like were you south of the border and you're gonna calm for me? Like like I actually felt a little bit like whoa, you didn't tell me? Like why did? I thought we be truthed? I did text him afterwards. I mean, I don't think they can talk. I try, I trust me. I'm such a little weasel. I texted everybody I had an in with, like, oh that's too bad, and everyone's like block of silence, like you have a podcast, lady, We're not talking to you, all right? Just everybody, may I touch you? So many lawsuits? Here we go, bunnies, let's get it going. We're gonna break it down. I don't know about you. I think this is the best season of the Bachelorette. Are you with me? Are you loving it? Oh? My god, like for real, I have I am so prepared. Look at this. Look at this. First of all, Jill Hammond, you guys, this fan, this super fan. I texted out. I tweeted out, like, hey, can somebody bring make a phone corepboard? Look at it? For the people at home, we'll have to put it on our face. But you you're a mom, right you must be? Are you? How old are your kids? Do you throw the best birthday parties? I mean these boards? If for the viewers at home that cannot really listeners at home that literally there's there's roses. Each guy has a different fuel color background. There are they Will you accept this rose? Rachel and Bassor at season thirteen are in gold bedazzled lettering. This is more elegant than that like disgusting mansion in Calabasas se If only they like they could have an like a bit of this elegance, it would be a different program. All right, there's so much prep for you, guys. We've prepped so much stuff for you guys. We are so excited. I I'm so bad with the present. When I get people presence, I tell them what it is immediately. Do you want to know what's coming up? Or do I'll lot to be a surprise. I'll thatt to be a surprise. All right, We're gonna start out with their first group. Okay, I'm gonna read you the first group. This isn't late in the game submission. This guy snuck in last week. This guy snuck in. Okay, we're gonna have a first group of three people are coming up for twenty five minutes. I'm gonna read the names, and I'm gonna read their bios, and then they're gonna have to get danced up here. The first person, Jason Vaylor. Are you here? Okay? Girl, Jason Vale? This gent. This guy was not on the list. Last week. He sent in a bachelorette reject. He photo shopped his face. Ah to Jason v Age forty three occupation aspiring podcaster, hid six ft tall. He's cute. He's cute. You guys, we would have definitely you would have been in our running tattoos the entire text of the book of job on my rare game. What are your top three favorite movies? The Godfather, Citizen Kane, and Transformers? And then uh, what is your most embarrassing moment? Once I was so hey, was I was so hungry? I ate an entire stick of lipstick and then a salamander. Okay, you're our first one. Second one coming to the stage. We have Oh my god, Caitlin Sullivan, are you here? Oh my god, Kaylen Sullivan, here's hers. We love self deprecating. This was part of her email. Seriously, I basically have zero Twitter followers in the scheme of things. I'm so low risk. I have the perfect body for podcasting. I'm single and in a dead end job at a company that will probably go bankrupt within the year. The Bachelor franchises who keeps me going? That made us laughed so hard? And our third person in the first grouping is the fucking Pinterest boardmaker herself. Jill Hammond's Okay, I'm gonna stay at home mom. I have two kids, so your podcast gets me through the rest of my week. And I can only handle so much mickey mouse diapers and toddler conversation for so long before I go crazy. You guys, get out up here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a sea love it. Hi? May I touch you so many lawsuits? Hi? Hi? You God, Can I just tell you one more thing that Jill gave me. She made mugs for Aaron and Paget and I that said one stumble away. I'm telling everyone what I really think when you accept this road. By the end of this I'm going to be four fumbled in and bad ship crazy. Hi bunnies, Welcome to the podcast. All I can tell you is to talk into the mic pretty carefully because we're recording and we want everybody at home to hear. Can you believe you? Just? Can you believe that you want it? I just I feel like you need to talk closer, get in there. It's like coming out of the limo. Were you nervous about what would you do if you're going to get out of the limo? Well and ask a producer to come up with something like cupcakes, like break the ice or yea, now you are you seem to be a straight male? Is that correct? Well, you'd have to ask my wife. She's adorable. How did you like? How long have you been? Like? What season did you get in? How did you find the badger? Who are you? What season was that it was? I don't remember, it's been a while, but Allie, that's pretty me. I started at Caitlin. I started at Kitlin. She's the best. Okay, you guys are just talking. Okay, sorry suck Okay, No you don't, you're the best, your dream weaver you Okay, what is your what is your dead head job? Um? I work in marketing. Okay, you don't need to say the names. We were in the news yesterday. Google it. Okay, Oh my god, that's amazing. Was it the guy? Was it? The guy who was the guy? The guy who was here at the film? I love the uber guy who was talking about who were talking about women on the board and if there's more moved on the board that totally hangs out with Brian. Oh my god, no way he doesn't. Okay, let's just get talking. How uh do you guys want to talk? Do you want to talk about about your in paradise or now let's talk about it. Let's just address it. Here's the I mean my take at first of all, high Jill, you look really cute. Um, I feel like it's yours. We need to turn you on. Probably here we go like a yeah, girl, I just got turned on. You're nailing it. You've got a cute lob she's got a cute lob and a nice romper. Um. Okay, Bachelor in Paradise, I like to me, I feel like the fun about from Paradise is that you it's like the Curly and Evans. It's c JD, Like you actually feel like people could go and fall in love. And when they put in like a chat or they go for like the super Crazies, it's like, I don't feel like we need like that. And now the whole thing like it's like I feel like like I just found out that STD Santa wasn't coming for Christmas, and I'm so sad. Do you think that Karin is super crazy or that to I just felt like when you know, like they seem like people that would that you know if she already. I don't know. I don't want to say. I mean, the whole thing is so awful. It's so awful. I read that she has a boyfriend, but she has a boy friend. It's just like, like why did she want to show up? She was so she can get more tooth whitening contract. No, it's just so sad. I don't feel I don't know. I mean, I don't know. It's like until we know what happened. It's like that part is a nightmare. But like, don't you just want to watch like to me, like like Evan and Carly when you watch like the fact that this cute girl fell for this guy who literally had no game. I mean like he couldn't have had less game, and like then we actually feel like we were watching these people fall in love south of the Border. Like I just I just hope it comes back. I hope it, but the whole thing is so sad. I hope it comes back for no other reason that I want to see more Wells, but that could just be me and my like total single them. Can I tell you how cute he is in person? Don't with me? His hips are like eight inches wide though, Like he's like that skinny and nerdy, like I will outweigh every guy ever fun and I'm fine with that. He literally is. He's so handsome. Okay, So when we all went out and did karaoke in Nashville, Okay, we're gonna have to go back on see her to Nashville. So we all went out and did lesbian karaoke, which was the greatest, and then Wells was texting me, which is like the greatest thing that's ever happened. And he's like, where are you guys, and we tell them He's like, I'm coming. And then when he walked in, I think I accidentally grabbed Paget like by the tip and I was like, well, she was like I know. And then and then I had to play it cool. And then he's so handsome it's stupid, you know, and he likes the talking heads like what is he doing on this show? Well, he has like a real job. He's like yeah, He's like he seems like a not do she bachelor guy? Like yeah, yeah. So that's why I thought was good that if he's going to go back to be the bartender, was a good way. So you're not there looking for love again. Then okay, this is I got a dead end job. I love it. I have my soul is so dead talking to me. So I'm covered a cat here and yogurt at all times. Not right now. I showered. I lived by myself and like, never have pants on. It's totally cute. Thank you. I came from work. Okay, um, so apparently Wells and Amanda Stanton work and I'm like, I know, I don't like that she was going back to paradise, which just really fucked up her mind. It I'm not okay, I know, no, Okay, So there's that, and then it's I just I have real questions about just everything involved with it. Like people were mad because Iggy snapchat at something that showed that he was probably in the cast, and they were mad that it spoiled it. Like was anyone in this room thinking that Iggy was going to make the top four? No, No, you weren't. What's you're the tattle tell you're never going to be in the top four? He I'm a mazy path made it past the first night, Like, so, yeah, okay, who are you rooting for? The who? If you know, I assume you're happily coupled off. I don't know, are you happily coupled off right now? I am. If you got a free pass and you could get into the bone zone with any one of the contestants this season, you'll do you want to say it, but if you're going to get in the bone zone, who would you be your topic? And then I knocked it over there. That's how I did every pod. I don't know. It's kind of between two Peter. I was gonna say Peter obviously, yeah, going off of first like I he was off early for me, Peter before Yeah, yeah, Peters yeah, Peter um, But no, I really like Peter and Alex Yes, those are my Yeah, I got out of Alex has come back at Love. I love it. I love it. You're like what and then and then we anna Nadi because Anna's like, no, he's super European. Because You're like, You're like, why is he wearing wrestling pants and a top knot and a zebra lazer? And it's like, oh, he's just super European, Like okay, all right, no, but he could totally pull off the zebra and I like it because he's weird. That's what I love. May I touch you alright for your bones? Are you team? Are you a lawyer? Okay, we'll get to that. Say are you team Raven or were you team Vanessa? Oh? Definitely a team Raven? Yeah right, yeah, definitely Yeah. I mean after the whole montage and you know, the dancing down the streets and stuff, Oh my god, it was Do you think do you think that that what? I don't think it actually happened for her? If you guys are listening at home and you like just got in the season. Aaron was in Lapland, Finland, that is really where standard creepy stentel is and she could not keep reiterating enough that she'd never orgasm. I'm like literally Chap driving it home. And then they spent the night in like a heated your the Future dance champ nick by by out and then and then they literally like did It's like is she gonna orgasm? And the next day she was like doing cart reels down the street like rainbow, which is what we all do, is what ladies do. I learn a lot from this show, but you do learn a lot about women. Do your coworkers know, Like, do you are a law firm? Do you people know you watched the Pets? This will be yeah, this will be a surprise now as a lawyer when you saw those lawyers scenes this season, I have some written down the scenes were missed. The lawyer dialogue. It started out with her with her saying objection, you're on her speculation and windows in a yeah, are there any courthouses that have windows there? They don't look like shopping malls like that place to borrow it's like the cart like to borrow, Like Judge and Jury, who are you rooting for? Who do you like them? As a guy watching it? Are you gross? Do you think Brian has too much game? I think plastic surgery? Actually, yeah, it's very strange. Yeah, it's a it's a weird face clap if you think Brian has fake cheeks? You guys, where are you are? I like you, sir on the brunt? Okay? Um? Do you think he's too smooth with her the chiropractor? I don't know if smooth is the word. It's a it's a it's a little creepy really, the whole you know, yeah, face grabbing, he's a lot. She called her sloppy seconds. That should have immediately been like what at the Ellen Show? He like when he and Peter got into their little chicken fight about kissing her, Like Peter's like, oh, well I kissed her too, and then he's like, well you've got to sloppy seconds Like fuck you go home. That's not acceptable. No, all right, you guys, you know what we're gonna do now? Because I wasn't sure because so much happened this week, So much happened this week, I was like, it wasn't sure where we were gonna want to go. I have a very I have crim sheets of the season, but there's also more of you coming up later. So we're just gonna start. We're gonna start. We have three episodes. Were three episodes, okay, episode one. First person we meet is Kenny. He's a pretty boy pitfall wrestler, ten year old daughter Chippendale's. Kenny's very sweet. I don't think he's gonna win. But what are your thoughts on Kenny? I I he was what when it aired? I really liked him. Yes, now I like him. It's just now that you know he's a Chipendale's dancer. No, I don't know. There's just some and it's not twice as a much. Yeah, I just I can't feel it's hard. I'd make out with him. Yeah, I wouldn't like go farther than that. I would make out with him. For sure. You'd make out with Kenny, you guys. He's cute, he's sweet. Yeah, he's cute and like I actually found the whole chip and Dale's admission sort of endearing. I don't know why, but yeah, I don't hate him. Yeah, he seems like you know what it is when somebody's coming in so hard looking for a mom for his kid, it feels intimidated. Well, yeah, but you can't run away on live television if you've never met the kid, right, Okay, the girls know. Okay, So then we make Jack Stone of Stone, Stone and Stone talk about new Tea. Oh boy, what kind of what kind of a lawyer are you? Uh? Well, I worked with American Bar Association. Actually here, it's here in Chicago, So I work on next to do military and veterans. Long enough, Alright, it's a little different, all right? What does Jack ston't? Actually? Do you know? He's probably on a bus board somewhere phone number. I don't. I'm not really sure. How long did it take you to make your audition thing for us not toong? Did you do what? Were No? I actually did it at home? Do you have kids? No? We don't like all this. You got a really cute wife too. How are you guys have been married? How long have we been Mary? I'm just getting eight years? Eight years? I like it. Did you guys marry in Mexico? Si? Lisa went on honeymoon in Mexico, But we did not go to sile. We're talking about it friend and Joge got replaced by wealth. Did she get like dirt from Jorge? She she tried to. She tried to encourage her because I think they didn't pay Wry much, so try to encourage Hore. But like, where is you know? I mean, I guess you wouldn't be there anyway this But it's like I think she didn't try to encourage him to like ask for more money because he's a regular on a show. And uh and then now no Jorge. I mean I don't know if because fag Fagian sucked over Jorge. But yeah, alright, so then let's talk about the whole ship show that was the wa boom Lucas. Yes, so are we okay? Aren't we so glad that they're both god? Because it feels like and I feel like I can't see you guys over there, Hi guys. Um it feels like it feels like lately with these seasons to me, like Nick was the perfect villain on Caitlin season, Like Nick was a fun villain. But then when you have villains they go too long, like a Chad or Karin and Taylor, it just eats up all this stuff. It's like, I'm so glad wall Boom and Blake weren't all season. They could have done that in the they would have done that, right Yeah, no, I think they um so Okay, So with Boom he shows up, he's got the shirt of himself. Blake, if you recall, we've already forgotten he was an aspiring drummer, which is amazing. Ah, he's a personal trainer. He was talking to the obese p a crawling on the floor. Was he the tiny penis one? He was? What he kept saying, how many women have told me about the amazing nos of my penis? Right right? Because when I see a penis, I think, holy shit, that's beautiful. You're a nice little rascal. Thanks. Who are you rooting for? Okay? So I was rooting for Peter and I think I still am. However, did you see his high school yearbook picture on t m Z today? No, tell me, I was fucking trying not to get monster and trying to get to Chicago. Okay, Well, I guess I've had a very slow week. So first of all, God bless your slow job. I love it. Yeah, I know, Um, if anyone's hiring, I don't normally have this work ethic. So I want to steal you and have you just like move in with me and my cast. Do you need a personal assistant? I am willing to relocate. I could pay you three dollars if you know what. Maybe one day, maybe one day when I get rich. Let's get at it, do it? We exchange Well, when Wells and I get married and we're both bartending in Mexico, can we be like sister wives if you marry well fantastic? Okay, yeah, so all right, first of all, we're back to Peter in his high school. Or first of all, Peter had like the the like shaved mid auts head thing that was going on and terrible facial hair, which okay, he was probably like seventeen or eighteen, you can whatever. Then his like your book quote thing is go to art school, become famous in one way or another. Here's the big one beyond the bachelor. Yeah that's some microw ship right there. Yeah, yeah, Peter, I know, I know. I was already thinking, like I could move to Milwaukee. They're supposed to have a cool art scene. Like no, I was actually like, I hope she doesn't pick up so I could figure out. I could be the Bachelor and he could be my will. We can all go to nash or we could do our next live one in Madison. They have like a five bar and ship. Why not? No? Yeah, so I had a game changer. I know you, I know it's heartbreaking, Like I feel like he needs to make a comment on it somewhere just so I can feel better about it. Become famous beyond the Bachelor. And to be fair, I wanted to be famous in high school too, But I never said I wanted to be on the Bachelor, nor have I ever tried out for it, So I think it all evens out. God, alright, well now, okay, all right, okay, I'm so sorry. So how are you rooting for now? I I don't I guess Alex. I don't think you're right, but I'm the one that I was my strange Yeah, I'm gonna go with like my fellow native Michigan or Alex. All right, So here's my question back to the whole wall boom Blake disaster. Do you think it was fake and they planted it and they tried disturb controversy? Yeah, because they wanted to get on paradise or something. Isn't Blake going to be like famously single or something next season. I've never heard of that show, but that's the one where like the Jersey Shore Guido is hooked up with the Kardashian best friend. I'm so ashamed that I know this. Oh my god, right, and like chat what what network is it on? So? Was it like a dating show? I think they live in a house and get therapy or something. I I've actually never watched it, like they I recommend to you all. I showed that I'm maybe the only person who ever watched it. If you can somehow go deep diving on like iTunes, Burdens or like Amazon. CMT aired a show for two or three seasons. I watched, is the greatest dating show you've ever seen. It was called Sweet Home Alabama. It was it was, but they did they alternated between a cowgirl looking for love and a cowboy looking for love. But they'd have twelve city slickers, which are the most like Jersey Shore douchebags. But then they actually had the twelve of the most adorable lonely farmers who were like so cute and you really felt like they like like they were so sweet and like really wanted wives and uh, it's almost like farmers only, but it was. It's really great. It was really great. I highly recommend if for when if that's from Paradise is not on this summer, you might needed He dined and watch an episode of Sweet Home Alabama. Okay, Julie noted, Okay, Um, so then we have Bryan. Okay, Brian shows up. He's got his new face, he's got his checken plant, he's talking in Spanish. She's smooth. He goes, I'm good with my hands, and then he just like sticks his tongue in her mouth and and then she goes, you told me I was going to be in trouble. I like trouble. You took control and then she gave him the rose. You that's bad signals? That were you guys like when you guys were watching at home? Were you all like it was uncomfortable? Wasn't the grossest or television? Absolutely? And they seem to amplify it an awful lot. It was awful, right, Well that's just good producing. Yeah, did you got I mean to me also when I'm so sad a Bachelor of Paradise, like like I actually talked to somebody who used to work on the Batcheler, and they said, what's fun about Bachelor? The bachelor editors have to protect the person that is the bachelor bachelorette so that they are prince charming or like the dream girl. They have to edit them to protect them. No one is protected on Bachelor Paradise. So just the editing talking to the raccoons, talk good about the raccoons, talking to the raccoon, like, as your confident with the wine model. That's all I could. I could watch that for hours, truly, I mean truly this week, I don't know about you. I was glued to my computer, just refresh, obsessively, refreshing, clearly. Okay. Then we have um Bryce, the firefighter with the giant jaw, who's elfin but won that wrestling match well because he had elphin luck. You can't eat a professional wrestler without some jews behind you. I mean when the first person up was like was Jack Stone of Stone Stone Stone, And when he's going up against Kenny the pitball, like like if ours you you're hit, but like, I mean, how terrifying to be put in there. No Kenny would kill me. And then you have like the elephant luck he goes up against it. Was he the one with the hairy Brady? Okay, we didn't discuss on TV Brady at the end. During the we didn't discuss on the podcast. Didn't look up that way was discussed. I don't know, but does he really think that that's gonna be like, oh, that makes me so horny, like do a booger role? Yeah? Like and for her and the look on her face was like the booger roll. Yeah, that's right, the booger roll, like like she was horrified. Yeah. What most oppresses me about that is how there's probably a corner of the internet that's all about it and like has a total booker roll to be fairer. When he did it, he really did look like a dude in like a Seers catalog. Oh yes, oh my god, so you're oh my god, may I touch this some of the lasses? You're amazing? I thank you? You say that gorger roll? Well you like I recognize that. Um so he is a classic white specimen. They don't show up in her ads very often, so I don't think that he would get hired. Okay, yeah I accepted that. Yeah, they've got like a rotation of a few different guys were all very track. Yeah yeah, but none of them have that look. Okay, um, I have a final question. You guys have been First of all, is there anything that you want to say that you need to say about this season? Is there anything you needed to get off your chest? Can I be of service a support group for you this week? How bummed were you when the fucking basketball game was on this Yeah? We were all set? So what are you Monday night? Don't you realize ABC? That's your time, that's your that's your zone. I didn't need another reason to hate Lebron James, like I really didn't. And now just fuck Cleveland. Yeah, thank you, jil. You were going to say something, what do you what? You know? What? I what do you want to talk about? There was one thing I was just driving me crazy to talk to the whole just last episode it looked like Rachel slipped Anthony. Yeah, we talked about that. Okay. I rewatched over and over. I have it on video. Okay, you know what I think. I think it doesn't look like paper to me. No, I have it on video because you know what I think it is. It looked cold because she's wearing his coat. She's wearing his coat. Let's watch it. I think it's paper. I think it's it looks like one of those handwarmers. It looks like yes, yes, okay, oh my god, we cracked a kid. I watched it over and I was like, I filmed it twice and zoomed in and I think that's Simon. Padget looks at me like I'm crazy, like in person patches so pretty? Can I just say she's still like elegant and pretty and like I didn't really know her before the bag bout, like like I want her to like me. And then sometimes I'll say things and she won't know what I'm talking about and it's like like the Framunda cheese stuff or whatever. I actually, that's I do remember that guy planned if you remember Munda cheese a month of my calls? You know? Sweet? Do you ever ask Paget about her time on Friends? Because I don't think I would be able to stop myself. I was on Friends? Did you know I was on Friends? Yes? We have a clean Yeah, I'll tell you. I'll tell you guys a secret and everybody that's listening. Okay, So I was on and then we'll watch the video and then we'll bring up our next group. I was on um, I was on. It was with Sean Penn. Okay, it was like Segon nine. I was like the Night that the Maid but who they thought stole Monica was in the right yes and so, but but it was like their nine thousand's guest star. So like literally like it was season nine, Like they've had so many and the other person is Sean Penn. So you're like, who would you rather hang out with this little dang dong or Sean Penn? Yeah? Sure, So I had all these like and all my stuff was with Courtney Cox, who of all of them, seemed a little scared, like a little bring you know what I mean, Like she was perfectly nice to me, but ill like I could probably charm Chandler. I could probably, but like like Corny is gonna be a tougher, tougher she seems like the she seems like the rizzo of the game, like the like rockets sacks that she seems like she'd be in the corn smell a little more like that's like the Heather number one from Heather like at the Scary. So I'm they're just trying to like make no waves, like all you want to do is just not get fired. So I had like all these props where I had to like I like buckets and like like dusting things, and she had to like basically look at my crotch to see that's my phone, to see if um if like my jeans had because she's like and like, but she didn't like they weren't really rehearsing that much by that point because it was you know, season nine, and so I had all these things, and I like she basically like there was a moment where like rehearsed once like America's sweet Heart ted it was like fully in my crotch looking down and I had a bucket. And then I literally acted like fucking like fully round house. I like fully roundhouse. I kicked her in the head and there was a moment where I could tell if she was deciding whether or not she was gonna be cool about it or not. And then like I like kind of manically he started complimenting her physical comedy. I was like, a physical comedy still good, Like god, you still great a physical comedy. So I'm like still stupid ship with my bucket, But like you're still good physical and and then I she decided to spare me, and then we were like bonded. We had like a thing that it was truly. It was truly like I literally had Courtney Coxes face on my cutch and kicked her. It was the opposite of I kissed a girl and she liked it. Okay, look at this, Look at this. Here we go. I'm gonna play the video and then we're gonna decide. Here we go, Here we go, you guys, is everybody having a good time? We really needed this. This is a tough week per batch, our fans. We had to come together. We all feel vulnerable and unsafe this week. All right, this is how sad. So what week was there? Where was my I'm just going to try to find where was that? This isn't this fun for everybody? The fact Okay, I filmed it, here we go, Here we go. Let me turn it up and yeah, handwarmer, handwarmer away. But then I pull in. I pushed it in again. She was like, oh it did. Did the handwarmmer? My guys? A handwarmer, that's how you know your hands? She had cold on. I was like, it's got to be cold. You know it's a handwarmer, Absolutely a handwarmer. I've used many of those by him at Costco like es. Yeah, yeah, sure. Can I just say you guys have been an amazing podcasting group. Is there anything you want? Is there anything you want to leave on the table? I think you've nailed it. You know what, if somebody doesn't show up, maybe we'll see you guys again. Here we go. Everybody around applause for Jason vale Yn and let's go thank you. Yes, because that's true. We'll just ask you where did you get it? That's the target. Okay, yeah, yeah, Here we go. Our second group, Our second group, get ready, our second group. Our first person here was actually a nomination. Um it was. I got a very cute email from a woman named Valerie. Is she here? Okay? We loved this Valerie email though, um about her new brand new husband Bryan Green. Not only does he love the Bachelor drama, but he also loves will you accept this road podcasting team. He talks about how hilarious Arden is and I'm always calling him up for having a half chub for you. Hey, that's all I need, That's all I need. I I don't know what to do with the full job. Trust me, trust me. I grabbed Paget's boom just when Wells was approaching, and I'm just gonna be like, you're Wells, You're well. It's well okay. Um, we recently got married in March, and I would love to surprise him with the opportunity to co host with you help. This newly went surprise her husband with the podcast taping of a lifetime Okay, that's our first one. Come at up, there you go, good chirst team whichever, what do you want to sit in? Off? That's okay, and you can look at your pretty pride. Okay. Our second person actually was so cute and sweet and he did stand up. He did an audition tape, he did a set and we watched it and he was so still like he was hosting the show. If you don't stand ups or mean, can I just say anyways like to be a a straight male doing jokes about trying to get on a bachelorette podcast in front of a room of stand up comedians. It was. It was so funny and charming. He was so sweet, Um, and he came in helped because I'm clearly technologically challenged he came to help to make sure that we're recording. Brandon Kirkman presses, oh my god, look at this. He will you accept this? Co ho, that's so great? Okay? And then our third one, our third one we have This was another newly wed um and so this is her new name is Kelly Taylor here, okay, Kelly Taylor. I'm twenty nine. I recently got married, and my married name is now Kelly Taylor. Yes, like the Beverly Hills nine O two one, okay, which only adds to my intrigue. I mean, now you see where you guys were all the top picks because we couldn't pick. We literally couldn't pick. Another fun fact about me is I have a rescue dog named Mr Feeney. And Katie goes, well, we have to have get off here, Kelly Taylor. Yeah, yeah, look at me. I'm a fucking disaster. Yeah, yes, party least at for a second. You got yeah yeah, yeah yeah, and I do except your roast. Thank you so much, Thank you too, gentlemen, talk right into the mic for sure. Oh my god, how are you guys doing pretty good? Yeah, so when did you guys get married? Congratulationship, thank you and where was your wedding. It was in Davenport, Iowa. We actually drove three and a half hours to get here today. Oh my god, in the rain, so lads, I said it, Oh my god, this is three somewhat led to my my boss, Oh my god, that's the best. Told her. I kind of told her we had a guy No appointment that we had to go. Are you guys having a baby? No? Not yet. I mean after tonight. I like that you went straight Guido. You're like, I could go anything, I could go op to a dress. You went guy No, is saying. I told her it had to be an appointment, that me and Valerie had to be him. Okay, fun fact, my guy No used to be Um the third baseman for the Myths and his doctor Eddy Harris and when he has a ring tone that plays take me out to the ball game. Plus, no one's gonna ask questions about a GUYO appointment. You know what, I got it. That's the thing. I feel like, there's certain things in life if you're willing to throw down, not to be discussing. I feel like, if you're willing to like whisper, I have diarrhea. Literally like if you're willing to throw down with Guno. There's like two and you're like, people don't want to know anymore, like okay, I'm out, Okay, gosh, i'mount. I mean. Also he's kind of going to third base every day to his job. Then yeah, he's nailing it. Although the guy know, my guy know? Did I just tell you? Truly? There's so much about him, you're like, and his artwork all over his walls like like like as if it supposed to make you. I don't even know. It's like, why do I go to him? He has all of hers wells of like women like breastfeeding is of like topless. You're like this. My mom came with me watched. She was like, well this is very loss Angele Jannumerary is not jannuery of a little cops in real estate for all your rental needs. Was not feeling it. She was like, this is disgusting. How's Mittens? Oh my god, we can maybe FaceTime with her later. It is she Man's is so cute. Mittens. She has a leash for Mittens and man she walks mis around and she like and mittens now because if my mom is a rescue kid in the mittens that she called in and rescue during one episode, and uh, and it has opposable thumbs and so men's just gets into everything as you would when if you have that many digits digits Okay, overall, are you enjoying this season of The Bachelor at oh? Definitely? Absolutely? This is probably I've only watched since one Pablo, but this is by fire life favorite so far. What do you love about it? Um? Rachel? I like her to take no ship attitude? Yes, Um. I like the way she told Mario to funk off. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about the who's this moment? It's like, okay, and I'm gonna time us. So I have because I'm running a professional ship here. Um uh yeah, with the way she don't like the way she that's when you do you see her lawyer come out? What do you do? You guys work? What do you guys do? I'm a lawyer? Double lawyers? Okay, all right, when you watch the lawyer scenes, Honestly, when you watch the lawyers scenes, like, what do you like? How fake? Are they super fake? We're gonna get this guy. We can put this stup. I get the guy to phone to phone nice step. You're always the lawyer lean up the streets of a lawyer. Isn't that like what a cop does? Isn't it that? Like, well, I do criminal the fans, so I'm not trying to clean up the streets like Josiah or whatever. So what do you what's is Josiah? Josiah? You know, he came out strong. He hasn't had like a huge storyline yet. His intro was like the status like them that, oh my god, that story was tough. But then like with his brother and they like stepped him outside and You're like, what is going on? But then I thought it was so sweet like that he had like this moment and he was like he sort of had this tough time as a kid and now he's like this lawyer. Is anybody rooting for ja? Do you think? Yeah, he's cute? Right, I know he has a chance. It's still early in the game. Do you think he's said do you think he's saving the part about his brother for Rachel? Nobody's done that yet, nobody's laid it on. Usually somebody cries pretty early, like alluded that he had a bad childhood, but he didn't say anything about his brother. So I think he's putting that in. He's got a back pocket, Yeah, he's got a back pocket. Um, the guy who the one who had the guy was there was a little bit of a bad childhood. Oh what do we think of Anthony on the horse? You got Chicago? I like Dickie too, digg he hasn't gotten nearly enough air time. Although Dickie has a lot of shoes. I think Diggie is real cute, though i'd make out a Diggy. I live in Chicago. Where does he have a place for a horse. Oh, he doesn't have a horse. Anthony. It was when they were in um Beverly Hills, Brandon. It's okay. I've been told I have an Anthony face. Okay, okay, I love it and I don't understand it. And I feel like Pagia talking to me right now? From under what? From under your do you smell toast? Do you taste pennies? Are you having his drop? Maybe maybe he has a swimsuit to like, give you my got my swim suit? Are you kidding me? We just give each other twelve dollar swimsuits. Okay, let's talk about Let's talk about Let's talk about that date, Anthony wasn't one on one. They had to meet me at the rodeo they are And if you guys, has anybody here ever been to Los Angeles? Yes, Rodeo Drive, which is already kind of a duchy place to go extra It's the equivalent of being on like Michigan Avenue, you know, like doubt, like in the Gold Coast, like I'm gonna go like the Drake Cotel, like I'm gonna ride up on my horse, feeded a cupcake and have it like ship all over this boutique, like welcome to Beverly Hills. I must have missed the horse ship in the Pretty Woman scenes they did it. It's exactly what it was. It was pretty Woman, but filled with worship. It's like work on commissioned, big mistake, huge, I'm sorry my horse to shout on the floor, good luck. Have you ever seen anybody wear those cheesy Beverly Hills like jackets of the hen Like who would purchase them? You know? I feel like it's like poor Alex to be like I'm in America, you know, like zeb jacket. I got this super cool. It was just on that I found it next to the pile of horse ship, think of like how obscure and like his image of America's gonna be like, yeah, people just ride horses into shops. It's great. Yeah, this is how it is. It's like people. Do you guys think I want to ask about Brian? Who got the first impression? Rose? Okay, it's still so early on. She really seems to want to get into the bones on my head, and I don't know why. I totally agree. Do you think he's gonna win? Do you guys think he's gonna win? No, you don't fantasy suits? Yeah, for sure. She wants to get past her on that road. Do you think Peter is gonna win? Who? Do you guys think he's Peter? I have Peter winning you. I'm gonna go dark Horse. Yeah, my wife loves I wanna. I want to go dark Horse here. I like will what? Okay? Thank you? I have him in the final four. Well, it's a good he's a he's he's the one who says like a smooth line horrible, he's adorable. Was yeah, he was alright, but it was fun and he was cute at Ellen too. I felt like he did a good job Allen. And then also he's not like bringing giant paper machee hands to the day. My god can tell about the tickle monster. Are there any doctors here? Good? Okay, a pediatrician. Attrition Atian. I mean, at least it's not my Mets doctor coming a ballplayer coming out with giant paper hands, like, alright, I'm ready for your exam. May I touch you? I just did? I remember Ellen even said like, oh, I would have kicked him off by now. I like, yeah, you're right. Ellen. Ellen was really like, she actually seemed invested in the game. She was kind of mad about some of Rachel's biggs. I think I like that. I like because again, I'm such even though I look like a desa, I'm like, I'm organized chaos. I spent so many hours re typing up these are ka, this is Katie's handwriting, so it's legible because I am I am the serial this is my serial killer. But that like, so I retyped it up. I like that. All the celebrities that Ashton and Mila and Ellen, all of them were like, I don't think your guys here. Thank none of the celebrities like any of them. I feel like this is like the first time you can tell in the dates like one day is b team. Have they done that before? I don't think so. Apparently somebody tweeted me because we were like, what the funk is that Ellen was Apparently it aired like a couple of months ago. That's big spoilerer, Like it's totally aired. Yeah, they basically I think they're like, we're gonna bring the cutest one, so obviously they're gonna Yeah birdman Jonathan was there. I don't I don't know for you. Yeah, I know what he said. He looks like a birdman. He does a monster. Yeah. I feel like they needed to throw one dope in. I was surprised that Dean wasn't there. Yeah, okay, let's talk about Dean for a second. So Dean, at first he was the one. He was there the first night and he got out of the limo and he had the worst line, and I do think a producer set him off and like and I was ready to be like this guy sucks. So the I'm ready to go black and never go back was like like I was like, buddy, like that is you don't say that to the first black bell guys like everything in the world to say that's not what. It's not cool. But then this guy, he seems to have actually been, seems like he have redeemed himself via his righteous lip too. I like the debate you had on the podcast about saying like, you know he had a bad background growing up, because like, yeah, if I grew up in a trailer park, I have so many tattoos right now and they'd all be the Tasmanian devil. That's true. You're right, You're absolutely you're right, because it's psych he grew up his favorite memory, like his mom died like ten years ago. That was really sad. It's sad his mom died. He grew up at a trailer park. It's like, all right, you can have a righteous lip tattoo. Like, I don't know who knows what this is? Me with a college education, you know what I mean? My brother worked at a bank, and I'm like, this is my destiny. I mean, if anything, it's like the it's the stupidest, smartest move of getting the worst tattoo, but under your lip, It's like, that's that's a baller move right there. That's one of eighteen thousand ones that he has. Yeah, he's so boy can we talk about the Peter date at the dog park. Oh my goodness, that's what I've been waiting for. Let's talk about Copper. Copper, Copper or the dog. Okay, real quick, real quick. They need to do a spinoff about dog. The first Bachelor dog is Copper. Yes, yes, thank you X please tweet at me. I will take all credit money for that. What do we think happened to Copper's leg? What happened? Was it just her? Well she didn't say get in, get on the mike, we trust you. He fell and he broke his toll. No way, beautiful blonde table is like, we don't buy something and broke You know what I think? I think her her terrifying judge father was like you're not going to be there, and then the gabbl went flying. It's like, I have a federal judge. You did, Kevin Durant, you don't need this port. Copper was at the wrong place at the wrong time. But my god, that dog is so cute. Oh my got Coppers. Why doesn't every bouchelor bouchorette have to come on with a pet and a cast or a cone. It's it's bad because I mean, I like the season a lot, but Copper has more personality than most of the Bachelor's right now. Yeah, it's unfortunately, I mean it's still so early that they all have to do those terrible group dates. Like I feel like it's gets a little more fun, like when we get some more one on ones that Ashton could show that husband material challenge didn't feel like the nineteen fifties, Like what like get the hair out of the drink, Like what the baby biorn and the diaper and they showed they showed the poop on their right, Yeah, but then they like then they blurred out the poop for the horse. Yeah, baby, not a problem, giant pretty woman montage poop, Julia Roberts horsepoop not gonna happen. Or let me ask you guys a question. This was a question from Katie. These are all these are we literally were prepped? Okay, um, we you wanted to know for like the usually the villains get left in a two on one in a bad location. So we had Olivia by the blowhole in the on that awful big day that Pig Island, and then the twin Twin took her down and then she was left by the blowhole. Would you rather be left like Cupcake on the Irish Cliff with Caitlin crying by the Irish cliff? Would you rather be left like Olivia on the blowhole? Or in the bad lands where you may or may not have killed your husband and you got last you got left in the bad lands, Milady Kelly Taylor. Probably the Irish Cliffs. That was very picturesque and all right, I'm gonna imit it down and then he's got yourself. I may make it. You have to be blowhole or or bad lands, because everyone's gonna pick Irish Cliff, blowhole or bad lands? Was that the same island with the pigs. They took a chopper to the and it was the worst weather. It was like today. It was like today, but they were like, but they were going to pretend that there was still fun, and they were You had to be in a bikini. You're in the Caribbean, but it's like a falon haboos outside, like a monsoon gonna get and there's literally a blowhole of like if the wind doesn't get you at the guys are will So I probably blowhole only because the other location reminds me of that movie tremors. Okay, Okay, I like, yes, okay, Blowhole or bad Lands. I'm gonna go with the bad Lands so I can eaten buy a grab boid the Tremor. That's what they called the movie. I saw the Trevor. So they're called grab woids in the movie. But basically when you walked around the ground, they can censor you're walking, so they come up and grab you. Isn't it like a like a beat like a gram Land. Yeah, and it would like kill you instantly. So like that's the way to go, for sure. Kevin Bacon, all right, Ken, blow hole for sure. I don't want to starve to death in the bad Lands. Yeah. Um, all right, I think we have blow holes. You never the blow hole. We put the blow and blowhole in Chicago, you guys, Yeah yeah, Chicago. Um, all right, I'm just checking the time we're doing. All right, here's my uh what was I gonna ask him? A little? No? No, no, Olivia, I don't know. Okay, Um, who do you think is the best couple that's ever come out of the show? Okay? Now, were you guys rooting for Dick or Seawan and Caitlyn season Sean? I loved Sean he looks like Ryan Gosling, right, And he kept saying that, which made it less cute. It's like if I kept saying, like everybody thinks, everybody thinks I'm just like Miranda Kurbs, like, well you're kind of a dick. Just let somebody else say it. Um. But yeah, they felt like they felt like a cute. I felt bad for him that he did have to listen to the moans of Nick like he did have to hear like everybody else. You assume they get into the bone zone during the during the fantasy suits, which all by the way side, No, they're like it's Sandals, but they all have like skeleton keys to the door. I've been doing like I've never been to a Sandals, but I've been like a club Matt. It's like it's going to be a key card. It's not like I mean, it's a pretty If it's a skeleton key, maybe it's the bone key what I'm thinking, Okay, okay, I don't know the answer to this, and maybe maybe we can google it. How much money do you think Chris Harrison makes a year? Too much? Half half a mill Oh my god, more way more than that way more than that. Well, how much did you get paid for the Billy Race Cyber Show? For dollar? Literally like pour dollars? Your wife is looking it up right now. All right, well, I know literally, unless you're a regular on the show, you don't make that much. Otherwise I'd be able to afford my new assistant, who would be the greatest desistant ever. Oh my god, Anna, Anna and Katie would love you. Um uh no. They But he's like he's been on it forever. How much does he make? Let's guess you guys, let's guess year per year. I think per year per year, Tay, Oh my god, I think it makes way more than the I bet he makes two million a year. Yeah, I was gonna how much does he make? Okay, but he's done it for like four hundred seasons A minute, wait a minute, So there's how many are there? Like thirteen per show? Will you do the math? I'm not good at that. I guess we're overall. I'm talking that's like million sixty So that's that's likely for a year. But that's fun think about. But there's two a year. There's the Bachelor and the Bachelor, and then there's Bachelor para Knight, So we're closer to two. Yeah, that's a lot. God, that's a cush job. You just walk in and you go, you're doing all right, buddy, everything alright? He seem a little stressed at Yeah, you're ready, You're ready. Okay, here's my here's my final here's my final question for you guys. I have the weirdest fun. I mean, you don't go in a comedy as a gal unless he's super fucking weird. Father. My father, my father, Like every girl on the cast of mad ZV, they were either like absentee. My father is like shaped like a walrus and he's like he's an accountant who drives a Mazda Miata with like he has vanity place and say c p A to Rhode Island because if you don't want to brag, you don't want to be number one. And he's like super boyant and he like be like he like floats, like he's like a booie. He's like body but like hometown visits, he would be so disgusting and who would be You're like, oh ship, we gotta hide SOT and SOT in the closet, Like how would your family react? If you had to do hometowns, mine would be a disaster and my mom would be there with trying to flirt with the bat like I didn't like Kevin. He didn't pay any attention, like she only likes some of they flirt with her in mittens. My dad's a big kid, so he would he'd love it. Oh my gosh, she'd make so many jokes. He'd love it as a kid or when I was a kid. He would entertain my friends by putting those like long curled cheetos up his nose. Okay, the cheet Cheetosaurus. Is he available? I'm happily married to my mom, all right, all right, Plus you gotta wait for wells. Oh my god, yes I do, once he gets released from Mexico. Would you guys have any live wire parents? My parents are both pretty good. My my mom is way too supportive, so she'd love having that attention in Canadas, Like I do you know comedy in Chicago? So she tells he does you know comedy Chicago? He'll probably on Saturday Life soon, But maybe I could borrow her strange feeling. But my brother probably because like he can only talk about video games and that's like Oh, maybe he's a virgin. He probably is. That's okay. The virgins make the world go around. And uh, do you have any live wires? Oh? My father, for sure he would. He would hit on the girl and then he would like convince her to leave me and go get like ice cream, and then like take it too far and like, hey, let's go camping in a couple of weeks. Tick monster, he'd be filled. Tick a monster. Oh my god, he's just over excited. Is there anything you guys want to leave on the field about this season? Because you guys have been great? Is there anything you want to leave on the field before you move under our next do you think? Is there anything you just say about Rachel who you're rooting for? Anything? Once again, I'm gonna say, will I liked a lot? And then also, why did they bring to Mario on Bathroom Paradise? I know, I know, agreed. We haven't talked about leave very much. Can we call him generally? I mean I want to plant that here now that's very appropriate. Do you think they're going to the producers are going to force her to get rid of Lee like a sap? Well, it's already too they've already edited it, so like it's already basically I think they know who wins, and then they edit backwards to miss Mead, So it's like the whole thing this jes because Kenny calls him like a punk bitch unlike the Ken. Yeah, he's gonna flex those muscles. He's gonna flex those super flex already, like Lee is doing it to himself. Any man that would like hate r Ez is going to love you to death. I love you to death, man. I was like, like, but they all see it, you know what. And the only good thing about social media is like he's feel like he's he's not probably having a good time now, you know what I mean. It's like revenge does come eventually, Like but yeah, it's awful. What's awful about it is it's because this show is so fun and she's actually so great and she's a lawyer and she doesn't need this like that. They don't need all this extra ship Like I just want to watch her phone love and make out with dudes. And he seems like the one person that hasn't like openly talked about her. Oh that's Mike, that's that's a professional. Time tell you guys, well, can I just thank all of you? We have one more time, Ryan Green, Brandon Kirkman, a, Kelly Taylor. But it gives you a hug. I'm gonna give you a hug. All right, you guys. Oh my god, here's a special section youre go. Thank you so much for guys, one more time. I'm out of applause. All right, you guys. Coming up next our final groups. We're gonna face time with Paget and Rob. I saved Rob. There's a lady here who loves Rob and she's gonna FaceTime with Rob. Jill right, where are you? Jil? Right? Right? My sixteen year old daughter and I watched The Bachelor together. Being the caring mother that I am, I write her Bachelor updates at camp. I have a huge crush on Rob, and I don't even know what he looks like. Well, Garreddick, get out of here, Jil. We're got our FaceTime with Rob. Yes, Jil, sleepy friends, are you start having a good time? How are you this, Jill? I don't know. We have a friend in comment a little Hitchy. She's friends with Michael Hitchcock, who is a right, was a writer on Glee and he's in all of the Waiting for Goffman. He was a cork and he and he was Parker Puzzy's host bit husband in Best and Show with the Braces Starbucks Cross Street from the Starbucks. Oh my god. Um he grew up across street for me. He's the best. Brother who we used to call Jimmy is now James. Um was our babysitter. He's the best. He's awesome. He's awesome. Well, I understand that you love Rob on a day. I don't even know him, Like I like, I never watched a show that he's on. I know nothing, but I worr him, you know what. I just want you to know that I've never watched Criminal Minds or anything. And then but like Paget again and she's intimidatingly beautiful and like kind of have a crush on her. Aaron Aaron goes Aaron is a is a is a gay lady and she's like or literally the first year I couldn't sit across the Paget because her face my eyes. And then when I was in Palm Springs and she was like alone with Paget, she was like, I need a fucking sit in your seat, so I wasn't a gross She's like, I made Katie sit at the table, so I wasn't alone. None of us can handle Padget. None of us can handle Paget. I'm I'm a little sad she's not here. She's she's she's unfortunately working Sid. I know, I know she's like, but she uh but Rob, Benedict and you guys, this is for everybody or here we go, right, I'm gonna text him right now. Okay, we're about to face on you. That's kind of that's okay, let's see. How how do I wish my eyes? I can see her context? Oh my god, it's so exciting. Okay, let's see. Okay, so do I just go to the context? Okay, FaceTime, here we go. Oh my god, how do I like you? Okay, wait, let's turn it out, my assistant, will you come hold up mike up to the hi rock? Okay, wait, I'm gonna have my free Will you hold up just to the audios? Have you seen it here in that way? That for people at home? Okay, Okay, Oh my god, here's wrong. Okay, okay, okay, this is Jill high Rob. Can we guys hear him? Can anybody hear him? Let's hear it? Speak of can we hear you? Rob? Hi? Okay, Rob, we are in Chicago. You went to Northwestern, didn't You don't how cute is Rob? Are you very how cute he is? Rob? We missed you. This has been a very tough no episode, Baschlart. Paradise is going away. It's a nightmare, but we've got the paradise. Dama. Oh my god, I mean I was thinking about it. I feel like we as reporters feel we need to get in there and interview some of the people involved or some of the people that saw it. I know, I honestly, I've already. I tried texting Danielle who I was, and then I texted Wells, but I didn't ask because I didn't want to be a full like like look you LOUI yeah, I just were like, oh, that's too bad. I'm hoping they'd be like, I know, and this is what happened. I know. I feel like we need to go back to Nashville with you. That needs to happen also, But I'm thinking if we could just get in that hot tub down in Mexico. Yes, that's the thing we were, and then we we'd like to offer to ABC again. We offered to go be spiritual advisors and just under Palm Fronds Withal Palapa. That's right. And um, Rob, have you worn your speedo yet? Um? No, because I'm afraid I'm gonna scare the neighbors. I think that's a good FaceTime opportunity. Your free at some point I'm going to At some point I'm going to I'm gonna wear it and take a picture. No one's ever going to see. Did anybody have a question for Rob? Who are you voting for this year? You know? I know there to be honest, there's no clear favorite for me. There's like there are a lot of a lot of those guys are just boobs, you know, And I just I feel like I'm yet to see. Right now, I'm involved in the drama of the racist dude, and I want to get him out of there. Let's talk about that. We were just ready to talk about that he sucks. Somebody to suggests him general. I like that. Oh that's good, that works. Um, yeah, he's pretty bad. And he now I saw like other tweets that he's that he's put out. There's just a horrible, horrible. I think our elegant Rachel deserves better than that. I know she's really awesome. And uh yeah, your face is so fucking handsome, Rob, And I know I thought he was gonna be handsome. He's so handsome. I oh, I guess no. I mean, honestly, I have eighteen chins on FaceTime, Rob, you weren't hot? A ship right now? That should be your I'm gonna spring grab it should be your new head Yeah, right, you're back. Okay, you're back, You're back, You're back? Hello? Are you back? Yeah? Okay the new head shot? And people say who took it? And say you Rob? And I thinly from which works awesome to your word because it was like really hot and um, you know it was. And and if we ever go back to Nashville, will you come with us? Yes? I really really want to. I think where is your guy? Do you come back to Chicago a lot? Yeah? I'm actually gonna be there in mid July. Um, we have a supernatural convention there, so I'll be there for a long weekend. What what what weekend is it? It's like, uh, that's here, I'll look all right, I'm gonna look at my calendar. So you're happy, You're happily married, that's what you're telling me. That's too bad, too bad. Why don't we go down to Mexico and to see what happened? Do you think I have a chance with Well, yeah, gonna be there, Like that's the July that was the saddest. Yeah, that was like a petty fuck. Yeah, yeah know that I thought about it, and I really don't think that you do. But you totally have a shot with me. You know what, you are not a bachelor contestant or a DJ, so those are both probably better choices in a maze. Um, well, as long as we just always talk and FaceTime because the only time you've ever told me I like handsome, I feel like in person it's like creeper. Like if I'm like in a small room with you and I'm like, oh my god, you're so handsome that I'm such a creeper. Now I'm with my new best friends in Illinois. I'm telling this one to come back with me when I make money, and yeah, so I can be free here with like with technology between us. Yeah, yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready. Here's my final question for you. Do you think do you think stupid Brian and his new faith who got the first impression? Rose? Do you think he's gonna win the Do you mean is he is the one with the gap? No, that's my boyfriend, Peter. I think I think Gap has a really good chance. Yeah, I think I think he's who I'm rooting for. Um, the guy get the first ros. Yeah, he'll he'll be like Final three, Final four. But I don't think he's gonna win. My money's on the gap. Okay, all right, Peter, Yeah we did. My my my new assistant found some troubling information about Peter this week, which is that his high school year book said that he wanted to be go to art school. I say, go to art school, become famous one way or another, and be on The Bachelor. That's not good. But she doesn't know that. She doesn't know that, and neither did we, and we were all in until we knew that. So let's hope that maybe he's like, oh I was an idiot. Then I don't know. Um, you never know. Let's give him a shot. Let's give me a chance. Well, Rob, thank you so much. I'm gonna get a free start shot. Oh my god, there we god, I think I'll text you to you. Um miss Yale. Thank you so much. I thank you, thank you, Rob, thank you, Bunny. Will you stay here? I have one more biebu, I'll see you next week with Thomas middle dance from Sulicon. Guys, I can't read it. Thanks Bunny. Bye. Okay, skinny guy, I would totally make out with Thomas middle d She's coming on unless he cancels when he's coming on. Okay, how exciting was that, you guys? How exciting was that? Okay? I just want to say. There's one thing like and there's a lady that was supposed to be on who was trying to fly in whose flake got canceled. So Aaron Casey French, we're sorry that we missed you and we hope we'll do something with you in the future. She literally let me just read you her thing. She wrote, She's from DC, and she wrote, I will move any and all work commitments to make this happen. Seriously, I'll cancel on a congressman or a senator if I have to. Oh my god. Okay, we're getting to our final part of the evening where I handle my skeleton key is Kathleen Dregan Here, Kathleen re Agan, I started watching The Bachelor during season one while I was in college. This made us laugh so fucking hard. I started wading while I was in college. This should tell you two things about me. I'm kind of getting up there in age, and I watched t V in college, so not really a party starter. I've taken some breaks over the years, but like a scripture tattoo on the rip Gage, it never really looked get on at your Kathleen. Oh my god, Okay, we have one more. Wait a minute, and there's one more person. Look at this disaster. It's okay. It's okay, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Here we go, Here we go? One um, okay? Is Nora here? Okay? Nora. Nora is another gal who nominated her husband. Her husband, Carl, is a thirty seven year old straight male who is a huge Bachelor Nation fan, so basically went north. She said this really funny email based when she met him he had this long hair and a motorcycle and he was a bad boy and now he's had to sort of clean up and he's responsible and he cut his hair. But each time he goes for a haircut. He specifically asked not to look like a Bachelor contestant with the same falcon cut that everyone else has. Carl Dump, get out of here. You've met my new best friend. Tell me your name again, Caitlin, Caitlin? How many people? Fine? I have two gills. We had an errand I don't think you're gonna end. How much is this doing for my life right now? For real? Okay, First of all, I'm gonna text Paget and warn her that we're about to face time her. Um, but how are you guys doing? Are you enjoying the show so very much? Very much? How long have you guys been watching the Bachelor? Way too long? Sixteen years? Susan Brad Brad season which one Brad too? No, I came in later than that. I can't fucking believe one guy got too shocks? That was he like a great guy? No, not really know. Somebody came twice Yeah, yeah, I didn't watch the first one, but I guess he was the one guy that went and none of you were yeah and split and they gave him a second chance to be like, maybe this will work this time. Well that's what Jen chef Jen Cheff, who was from Chicago. I tapped out and because I liked her on Andrew Firestone season, and then when jan Chef goes, I choose not to choose. I was like, fuck you, it's a game. It's I best con scenario. Your Tanner and Jade, I hope you get married, who are having a baby son came but like, just pick one. So I tapped out. But now I'm it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. That's what keeps us a going. I mean, honestly, I do you guys ever have this feeling like I get so fucking excited for Monday nights and then when Monday Night happens, Like sometimes I'm watching, for example, like the the Kareem actual jabbar thing, I'm watching and like some of the actual episodes are not that great and I'm like okay, or like the Vacuum Race, I'm like this, but it's still like whips me into a frenzy. Like do you ever watch and think, I don't know why I'm having such a chemical reaction to something that's not really that great, but it's the best thing ever. A bad Monday with the Bachelor Bachelor att is so much better than any other Monday. Do you without it? And it totally wouldn't work if it was on Tuesday through Sunday. It needs to be on Monday because it's a garbage night and I know you're kicking off your week and it's two hours where you can turn your brain off and not give a ship. I can't wait to ghost every one in my life to on Monday nights. It's like I, first of all, I will like cancel auditions. I don't cancel like literally, it's like I can't pick up the phone, like from six pm on. I gotta get prep I have to have my peanut butter already, my my victuals. Oh my god, no family emergencies allowed. My mom knows, don't bother, okay, And this Monday was a real disappointment, And really we were all thinking about you, my word, thank you. Wh I was thinking about you guys because like I knew we would be okay, but I was excited to break down the show with you. This is the best support group for not having This was a haird week for us. We didn't have the thing. There's been all sorts of controversy. We needed that. Thank you. This is like as okay getting matching lip tattoos. Monday night was just trolling your twitter. Risk my god to see everybody going, oh my god. I know well that that's how I felt like. I also felt like, oh my god, like when when in Paradise was like maybe canceled, like the amount of literally it's like I can't get worked on, Like I was like full forelarm fire at my house. But from like and that's why I love this podcast. It's like, I we truly love all of you guys so much, and like we know a lot of you guys also tweet in and stuff, like we love doing this. I think I've made eight dollars selling vibrators last year. Like I mean, truly, if if if I get hit by a bus, which I hope I don't, I really hope I don't, but if I do, Like truly, this is what I was meant to do. My my life's work is done. This is what I was supposed to do. We had an emergency meeting of our Batch Fantasy League just to wildly speculate on Monday in the absent television, we needed to wildly speculate about what was going to happen this time. That's a god. Oh my god, I know. All right, here we go. We're gonna find it. We're gonna get padget in on this. Get ready to not be able to look at her because she's so fucking pretty. She's so pretty. Oh my god, Oh my god, oh god. Hi. Hi, I'm Cathleen. Hi. This is Carly and Kathleen. Uh. This is my new best froom Caitlin. Oh my god, it's so good. It's like a support group because we didn't have the show this Monday, and we didn't and now bad Froom Paradise is in trouble. Paget talked to us so hard our night. Just I'm gonna stand in front of a wall of shoes. Oh my god. Oh no, you're cutting you out. You're cutting out. Okay, you you were cutting out, you were cutting out. She okay, okay, talk, I'll call you. I'll call how is your call me? Okay? Oh my god, wait, let me see all the people against Okay, Okay, we're gonna call you one. I'm gonna call you, okay, okay, bye, okay, Oh my god. Here's the other thing Paget when she says stuff like you're my new best friend, is like literally like some like I can't even talk to her, like because I'm forcing it on her, like I'm making her be my new best friend. Sweet and I'm sorry. This is a question that like everyone else knows the answer to. How did you scam her onto the podcast? I don't know I did, like I saw her on the after show? Did we did? Okay? Here we go, all right, Okay, So we were saying how we got you on? You and I used to do Thrilling Adventure Hour together and then I saw that you were a fan, and I hunted you down. Wait, don't what I this is so exciting. I can't even I can't rep my head around it. And we were trying to figure out how we got you involved. It's actually better that's not FaceTime because I can't look at her. How we got you roped into this cult? Like how we captured you and found out that you love and it was because you and I did Thrilling Adventure Hour and then correct and then I saw that you did the after show, and then we lured you in and we had the best time ever. That's right. I think what you did was you fed me a lot of starch, and you made me sing your songs and you wouldn't let me go to the bathroom alone. And then I was in, yeah, that's exactly what happened. Okay, So I'm gonna pull you this down here and I gonna do that. Okay. So um, here we are. We were talking about this has been we all needed this as a support group. Monday night when that basketball game came on? What did you think? I don't call the worst, right, I just don't care about sports now. My husband loves it, but I don't. That's still not enough. Yeah, and do you think and like, aren't you just devastated about Paradise because you've been to Mexico? I really am because and also, believe me, it is taking all of my willpower not to email Jorge directly. He wasn't. There would never have happened. We my husband and I went to apply you Sally to where they shoot Bach, where they used to shoot Bachelor in Paradise. Oh um, for our honeymoon stop ragging a year and a half ago, and we hung it. Jorge got us hammered. He was lovely and he was talking about Chris Harrison. He was like, oh, no, Chris, he's no stay here, Yeah, because it pleases he's stay at four season's resource? Yes? Was it? Was it during crab season? Did you talk to raccoons? Did you talk to raccoons? There were no rack so they have all the birds, But I didn't see a raccoon. I feel like maybe that raccoon was imported from some other part. It might not be indigenous to Mexico. Paget, I don't believe raccoon are indigenous Mexico. No, we're I don't know, Paget, were you, I don't know if you were up to date? Jorge is no longer the bartender Will, Yes, he was. Jorge was the bartender and Will in the season that was just uh, you know, ended preempted by the sex scandal that none of us know the truth about with Will, because Wills was the bartender. Who Wills my boyfriend? Will? No that I don't know. West maybe stepped in as a dilettante, but Jorge was still the bartender. Are you sure you've been like texting with I'm sure? Wow, this is this is if I can believe that, If I can believe The British blog Tabloid Daily News the idea maybe Wells and Jorge were the bartenders and it was like a Tom Cruise cocktail sort of thing. Oh my god, I like your room, Yes exactly. Oh my god. I could say like this sister with a heart of goal, like, don't trust her going to getting like a one inch there, so it's not fully test. You're doing great. Let me ask you this you're undercover friend, whatever her name is. Does she have footage the footage? No, I don't think anybody has the footage. There's like legit like police investigation. I think no, I know because I railed again. It is a questionable British tabloid block that the l a p D was sent down to apply to Silda because the victim and perpetrators supposedly were American and it was an American crew, which I'm not sure about, but just buzz went down so fucking like caning us have our hammred raccoons? And I'm like, like I don't even need Chad shooting his pants, like just like just get me like sweat Lodge, Carly and Evan painting each other, and like Tanner and Jad like does it like googleod in the lagoon. That's all I need, and Carly and Evan were supposed to get married there this weekend. Can we call out the fact that in Nashville he was like shady about that. He was like, I would never get married there, and then they fully wore right. He was like kind of like defensive about what are they gonna do? Are they going to still have a wedding? Maybe good thing that is stolen? Well, I mean they were totally gonna pay for that whole thing, so he's got to kind of protect his his his bankroll. I just want to say, she's really cute in person, and he's actually like kind of foxy in person. I heard that. Did you think he was kind of cute? Paget? Oh my god, I'm just listen into these other conspiracy theorists on the stage with you, and I'm so validated. Isn't this You would really have a good time here, you would be These aren't good? Can I tell you? These are fucking die hard? It was like a mons suit. I first of it's a work day, okay, it's a Wednesday night. I have never seen rain like this, And last day it's like it's like El Nino level rain. Poor Aaron got yeah, like lightning, Aaron got Aaron made it to the airport after she like tested for that show. She like got out in time to come do this, and every flight to Chicago was grounded. No, yeah, I know she's trapped, just trapped in Newark. Your girlfriend's jerk. You've got to save her. You need to just send her a Wendy Nobody trust me. I here at the I I do like your Elizabeth ikea. Um, you guys, I don't want to hold you all a hostage in conclusion? Well, why don't we wrap it? We'll give it like two or three more minutes to or three more minutes. What do you need to say? What does anybody need to say? Can we talk about how Rachel in the first Stole Thing was like the best Mary J. Blige video ever? Yes? Yes, yes, what do you say? Yeah? Okay? So like okay, so the most passionate Mary J blind Mary J Blige like sassy pants songs with like just picture classic Mary J with like the big gold hoops and the chains, and the first like that was Rachel standing there telling tomorrow I would like get the funk out. Yes, you stole and the hoops. You're right? You just had an Arden moment with Padget where it took us said get it took a second and then you feel dumb and you explain yourself and then she's like, I'm with you, and it feels so validated every day. I love we all want you to like us. Okay, I think Rachel's gonna be great. I think she actually listens to people instead of just thinking about what her SoundBite is gonna sound like. I think she's gonna find a man that really, does you know, suit her and match her. But really, the heroes are you guys. You're doing the Lord's work with this podcast. You have such a good voice, you could do voice over, so great of her voice. You've got a sultry I've got a little bit of his finest thing going on. So maybe it's that said she was thinking she loved you? How did I love you too? Um? What do you do? I am a children's book author, literally the sexiest profession ever plugged. My first book is being published as Summer. It's about Chicago, you guy. It's called Rick Shaw Reggie Chicago Neighborhoods. It's available for preorder on Amazon, Eleen Dragon That's It's d R. A G A N. That's right. Yes, Okay, what do you need to say? Carl? I like you, Carl, you I like you too. Arden. If ABC is listening, and I assume they are, if they could be a good voice, I'm starting interrupting, Carl. Let's do our own thing, okay. Podcast starts next weekthlet Carl watching watching uh Rachel, who comes from a place where like she's in front of people and she talks to people and she has like a position of like authority is so great watching her like like not deal with like any of the bullshit that's going on and just be like, you know, this is done. She's used to telling people know and it's completely different, and it's so great to watch one final and we'll wrap it up because people have fucking jobs in the morning. You have a job, sir. Okay, I'm gonna say one more thing. Can we discuss that because to attack what you just said, Carl, So she is she's like the first adult, and yet she has this weird thing when she said to poor fred Fred, poor Fred, I know, like when when he asked permission to kiss her, she has like this weird thing. Can we just ask what do we think Fred did that was so bad in childhood? What did Fred do? It was probably like pre sorry, she probably knew him like pre riddle in or something like, you know, like when they're really bad and they just haven't gotten diagnosed properly. Nat. So that's how I that's probably what it was. Paget. Wow, I mean, what do you think of her being the strong woman? But then who also likes the guy that takes charge like she did always? I guess that's what it is. That's what it is. Yeah, man, Yeah, okay, here's my thing. It's a really tough thing for guys because if you're a man and you say can I kiss you? You're in trouble. But if you just grab a woman a kiss her, then you could be you know, molesting her. So it's a really tough it's a tough thing. Yea. As the producers how they feel about the I know. I was saying to Anna, I was like, should I bring them? May I touch you so many loss T shirts? Was? She was like absolutely? I was like, all right, Grey always creepy this week? Anyway, um rounding out guys, you were such a delight. I really want to break down a real episode with you guys sometime come back, but I wanted to say what fun it is just to see where your guys are all at. We all agree this is a great season. This was our therapy group for the week. We are We're back in the game. It was a great season. She's a great bachelorette and I think she's going to find love. I do. I believe in Rachel. I always believe in love. Sixteen years Kathleen. Again, there's some potentials here, but I'm not sold a man. I think, yes, I am. I also have it onlike friend of a friend of a friend from who's Tony the Chicagoan who I think was a Northwestern football player. At some point I heard he goes far. This is unsubstantiated. Yeah, yeah, Rhodes is like a Rhodes Scholar. He was my number one pick in my fantasy league for the wrecord. Crazy Alex and the Salamanator, Salamanderator, the gentle miniature. I think it's he still is very selfy and like he speaks long, which is he strips, he like he stroke dance is kind of weird. Those guys were really ready to like any There's a lot of guys here could any of you go on the Ellen Show and do what they did? I mean some training, but they knew six weeks ahead of time that they were going on TV. They have not eaten a carb in six weeks agoin are ready to take it off and show it off. I could not have eaten a banana because I do not eat carbs. Idiot. All right, well, I need to go to Chicago. This is so like you, guys, I really there right now. I can't even tell you. I have to tell you Pageant. It's been such a joy, and honestly, I think y'all felt rattled coming and this has been a hard week no episode, and maybe he's our favorite show, and I feel like we all feel better. Oh my god, Well you're just a sexy nurse. Oh my, I accept your one piece. Baby, You're a sexy nurse. I do a sexy nurse dance? Okay, did I get the part? All right? Well, miss page thank you so much. I miss you, bunny, and I'll see you soon. Okay, I'll call you this week. Yeah, all right, I'll call you. I'll call you this seek. I have a great night, you got okay? Fine? Okay? That was Patrick Rister did you see that man in closet? That's like whatever? What if she on criminal that's criminal minds money right there, that's like Chris Harrison level. I gotta stopping the weird buddy on CMT shows. You just have to get an extra bendor, Like I don't want to call her out because she is technically here, but my friend how a shoe room in her apartment? Who my girl? Kelly? Yeah, Kelly. You guys all right. I'm not gonna hold you hostage any longer. I want all of you to know that I love you, and I brought presents for you. I brought well. First of all, I do have the may I touch you. Let me just say I brought him. I brought him. I brought blue. I got blue for you guys, Nashville got pink. I also have them in men's gray. And then I also have angry little teapot. It's my power boos short and stout. If you piss me off, I won't put out, So I will. I literally will. That's my power post, my ted talk. But I brought you guys all. You don't need to They'll be out there. You don't need to get if you want one, great if you don't know problem, but I brought everybody take one their cats dressed up in animals. They're dressed up in clothes like here's a little Native American cat and they're stickers. So you want to pass them along? Your's wonder for you. Um to our listeners at home, look at that. Wait this buzzards a cat and a bunny. Oh my good n pick one out, pass it along. It's like the Kitty Village people. Okay, I feel that I want to give out. I have two final presents I'm going to give out. Um I really you know what I want to just say, Carl I didn't get enough time with you, guys. I really enjoyed you. You were really nice. Voice. Do you can we do like an after the final Rose Podcast? Stick around for ninety minutes. Soon it's two more hours. Everyone get a drink and do you have a cat? I do have a cat? All right, here's a cat laser? Yes, yes, present you sir? Come here for one second? Can I borrow this for one second? Sir? What is your who? Who are you? I'm married to Jill okay, twenty years. You seem like an man. It's so hitchie, baby, sat me when I was a kid. I don't even understand very rare, right now, Okay, I do worry that, all right, thank you very much. All right, I just need it to me. Okay, here's my final present. Um, there was a lady here who made these boards, who gave me one symbol away from telling everyone what I really think. I have a present for you. You know what, Sometimes you're like, how do I talk to my cat about gun safety? This is a pamphlet how to talk to your cat about gun safety? Aaron gave it to me, but I actually already had one. So, um, Jill, will you accept my will you how to do you have a cat? Do you have a cat? Will you go? We were like, Navan, so will you arrest your kidding men to talk did about gun safety? Oh my god, thank you so much, you guys. I want to give a shout out to all my podcast co host Jason Vale, Kaylin Sullivan, Jill Hammond's Aaron Casey, who couldn't be here but would have been great, Ryan Green, Kelly Taylor, Brandon Kirkman, Jill Reich, Kathy Dragon, and Carl Dunlop. Truly we wait. Thanks to Dora. Oh is okay, nice and Scandinavian. You're Carl Clockers and everybody can get Kathleen Dragon's book on Amazon one more time called Rick Shaw Reggie Chicago Neighborhood Illustrated Maps of Chicago Neighborhood. Kids will love it. I cannot thank all of you enough for coming, all of you guys for listening this. Really, we adore all of you. Take a cast until you gotta keep it moving. You gotta keep it just kick pick one and pass a bundle on um. And if you guys want a T shirt or just a picture, I'll be outside, but we all do. All of you. Thank you so much. Good guys. I'm just gonna wonder where you read. Lest your Word. Lest your Word now leading nice dot com store