Explicit

"Fireworks in the Yurt!" With Rob Benedict and Andrée Vermeulen

Published Mar 1, 2017, 12:59 AM

Rob Benedict & Andrée Vermeulen join Arden to discuss BONE ZONES! TURTLENECKS! BAND AID BATHING SUIT DRESSES! AND SEX IN A YURT!!!! Arden thinks that Andy Dorfman was trying out for the part of Newman on Seinfeld! Rob does his impression of Nick in a turtleneck sweater! Andree thinks Corinne should star in Les Miz with her Bounce House! Anna is home safe and sound! Additions to the Nashville May 7th Nashville Zanie's live podcast are announced! And EVERYONE wants Raven to SEE FIREWORKS in Iceland!!!

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No entering noticed Stockholm. Oh, I feels so good. I'm feel really good. Orgest, I'll accept it, but I will orgasm in a Finnish hut. Are you hurt? Oh? Will you orgasm? And you're on television? Oh do you accept this orgasm? Into your ABC lineup? Hello, welcome to Will you accept this rose? My name is Arden Marine. I am so excited before we get going, and I is back in America and I heard it. You made it, You made it. How was your travels Anna, You're safe and sound. You went to Iran, but we'll call it, we'll call it Greece. You went to You went to Greece and you got that safely, got back safely. No one said anything to me. It was very easy trip. And yeah, problems at all. They knew you had to do the lord's work become when you had to come and deliver bachelor love to people. So they were like, she's we need her, you guys, abassador, happy to be back. We missed you. I've been needing this you guys, we missed you so hard. Not only have you been far away, but you've been captured by excited family for like three weeks. Yes, it's that would make anybody cuckoo for cocoa. Yeah, it's been crazy. I've been surrounded by tons of Iranian people just filling me with food. I've gained like ten pounds. Oh my god, that's a delicious I love flavers. Speaking of dangerous international travel, You guys, you can get off of my nut now because he's back. Okay, ladies, put down your lady. Bonner's our Bachelor of the Year seventeen. Robert ben Dick. That's how you say you name right? Had read a Benedicto. That's right, that's right. I'm I'm a wanted man now. So we need to know Robert, tell me you were Rob traveled to Europe and he just got back and not not Anna, Rob? Was it all holding four twenty four hours? You were in a holdime? I was in the United Kingdom. I see, I didn't see k Middleton sound okay, okay, cool um, But they definitely treated me like a criminal, and it was. It was awful. And it's funny. How many balloons of heroin did you have up your asses? Just three? And I thought them like four? You could have three? Okay, um? But I uh, yeah, I know, we didn't have a work per minute to play a little rock show, we would have made like a little bit of money, but not a lot. And anyway, now I know, but now you know now it was like straying up like searched everything and like no food, like no no sleep hours. Now you said that while you were in German, like you had fans who were fans of the podcast. Yeah, I mean we've heard you art and stuff. Yes, I mean I had something like, uh, fans of fans of the show, people like going by the way I love will you accept this road? And then someone like made this thing. That's it was like all the top things that Rob Is said on the show, like things I don't even remember. I said. It was something about your wife's taint was something there was And I feel like my work is done here, I know. And yeah, but the other thing is like I was jonesing for this so oh my god, I we missed you so hard last night only having an hour. I was like, it's like your drug dealer not giving you the full amount. That's how I felt. And I felt like a dick because it's like, Okay, it is awesome that ABC is doing like a history of the Civil rights movement, and part of me is like, couldn't you do this like during the local news, Like why doesn't have to be Monday? Yeah, this is like I need my crystal meth ABSI Well, good thing. Next week we're gonna have like seven hours, you know what. Next week three hours is going to be the snatch Aler. That's what I want to call it. Next week, it's the snatchler because it's fullbones one time. Next week. Okay, I wrote down phonetically how to say your entire full name. You did. Let me try Andre, Andre Vermulin Vermulin. Let me try this again, Andre Vermulin Meca. I just have a girl crush on you. Can I just say I just have a girl crush on you? I want to touch your hair. You are just the cutest human. You are just magical. I want to be your friend. I was so excited. First of all, should I call you Andre Dre? You call me Dre? Okay, but on social media you're on. That's why it's Dre Andre because both people call me both. Okay, um, and are you having fun on nature Tribecca? So much fun before this even gets going, you have Okay, this is the most here's some insider stuff. You have a bachelor connection? Is that? Do you mind telling? Is this too soon? Do I need to do? I need to want to know. It's not too soon for me, but it might be too soon for they let me talk about fingering first thing in the morning, like for like many for eighteen months now, so real, nutshelly. I used to have breast implants. Yeah, you did that. I got in a relationship that was unhealthy. He made me hurt my bother thank you, thank you, yes, but the real you know, I obviously also hated my body myself, so I needed to because if I were in a healthy place in my life, I would have been like, go fun yourself. Oh my god, I let this guy like sunk my friends and be like I didn't do that. I was like, okay, yeah, we've all done it. So I over time agreed. And it's so easy for women to hate their bodies. So I was like, you're right, my breasts are inadequate. And then I ended up getting breast in plants, which I never fully wanted to of course have, and then when I had them, I was like never, it just didn't seem right. Also, side note to all my smaller ladies out there. The spatial awareness is very funny. If you suddenly have breasts. I was like, yeah, knocking them into things, what cup did you go from? And what cup did you go to? Oh my god, well I have like a full B. I'd say, it's my ideal. Yeah, and then I was like, a, well, the actual brass eyes was e so it's like beyond double D. But that's also a side note rant that I won't go into everyone's wearing the wrong brass eyes. Yeah, no, trust me, I wouldn't got properly fitted. And I was. When I got properly fitted, I was like, it'll sound like a larger cup size than it is, depending on like the width of your breast anyway. He so, but you're but you're so you had them removed. So I had them removed, which I didn't even know was an option. I've done all this work on myself. Yes, this is the last thing that's like, they gotta go. These breasts that weren't my idea. Yeah, if they were my idea, i'd be like great embraced. But they were not my idea, and I was just so upset and shamed all those years. So I decided to take them out, which I didn't even know it was an option. What an awful surgery. And then I said to the surgeon and that was like way worse than getting them in because it's like a lot of just trying to reconstruct your breast. If you shove a golf ball into a tomato and then you pull it out, like the tomatoes not gonna look around. I tried that every weekend. It doesn't look the same. Yeah, So it takes a lot of love and care from a skilled surgeon to get your breasts normal again. And they don't even look completely normal again. They look pretty good, but they look they look great here. From here, there's just scars and stuff. Anyway, I hate that guy, I know. So then I said to the surgeon, I was like, I want to keep those and they already thought that was so weird, like the weirdest client they've ever had. They have a bunch of like Beverly Hills women who are like very sure in their choice and they're like, I don't know, I'm just they'd be like, oh, she's our weird clients. Like the nurse came in to give me the um, you know, they start to do the ivy and she was like, we heard that you're wacky, never good. You're actually probably the only normal one. So then so you were like like, I want to keep them. And then right before I went under again, I was like, I want to keep them and where I actually they are? Were they? Well? So then they gave them to me and I had them for like almost a year, and I was like, what am I going to do with these? What I'm gonna do with these? But as an artist and a comedian, I was like, I'll do something. If it's just bring them out on stage for a while, I just bring them out at parties and throw them at my friends. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. And they're just so huge, they're like, oh my gosh, to silicone. They're very pretty under lights. Yeah. Anyway, I also shot I made sure to shoot them with Robin Vancelank to have them, you know. In Stuck in Time with Me, I did like a Janet Jackson folk cover thing, remember when she had And then my friend sent me this link to the Museum of Broken Relationships, just being like we should go, and I went on his group date. Yeah, and I was like, oh my gosh, that's exactly what I should do with them, So I donated them to the Museum of Broken Relationship, where they in the episode they were in the second episode of The Bachelor, I started getting more text. I wasn't actually watching at the time that I started getting Katie's face right now of text. It was like I was in a super Bowl commercial or something, and everyone was like, I said, it was like, what's happening that that is the best connection to the Bachelor. Where is that? Um, where is that? It's right on Hollywood, I believe right, Yeah, yeah, Katie. Great, someone slammed their car into it recently. Great press Rob Rob Well, I just there were those you like, I gotta get I gotta get it. I did think it was really funny the clip that um my friends showed me before I watched it myself. They were like looking, it's like so fast, but they show the implants and then I forgot her name. What's that girl's name? Who's like, um, I think she's either half black, half white or like lights came black and she had the like slit in her eyebrow, and she had the curly hair and she's like bye, yeah, Jie Aaron's favorite. So Jamie goes funny, and I wanted to be like, what, no, heartbreaking? Terrible? Are you talking about funny? Yeah, funny Jamie. If that made me really not like her, it's okay. I don't blame it's your heartbreak. And she and also she was there for the wrong reason? Was there for reasons? All right, you guys, let's and I'm at the end. We have some more announcements, but we'll save it. We have some updates about Nashville. We'll get you at the end. Here we go. All right, you guys, are you ready? Let's break it down. First of all, it was only an hour. Don't like that, which was super disappointing. Starting out, really disappointed. Starting out with Andy Dorfman. I didn't watch her season either. I did not like her, and she felt like she was like playing the part of Newman. I wish she was like hello Nick, yeah, so and then then when they come back, she's like, how are you yea and she does had so much anger too, so much Yeah, she goes so what you're thinking that It was like she's clearly mad. She didn't pick him somehow, Well, then I had to piece things together and through what she said I realized that she must have slept with him in the in the streets and the publicly she did after the Rows in the final episode in the finale of that season, she broke up with him. She didn't like do it like she said, like, hey, it's not gonna it's not gonna work out, not in love with you. And then when I have to find Rows, he said, he said, why did you make love to me if you weren't in love with me? And she said, well that was below the belt. Yes, So then she got sort of slut shamed, and so I have to just say, look, I appreciate anybody who's a feminist, but I feel like her feminist message. They sent her as basically like the bone Zone Ferry of like because he'd gotten in trouble for like outing her, and they kind of got in trouble for Caitlin. So she they sort of sent like his original person that he crossed to be like, hey, it's okay if you need to get at it and you're with every woman. Well, also, like up until now in The Bachelor, they never really say that this night is about right, and so when this one right and this one was just all out there She's like, are you gonna have sex with him? After that? She was so awful? Yeah, yeah, her little leather pants, like are you gonna of sex with them? What are you thinking? It was just like every like that. If that vibe, I've had that vibe come at me from like ladies or whatever, like how are you It's like, oh, it's like it's like a viper. Yeah, she's She's like, I mean, I gotta give you a ship because yeah she did. She really came out of heart and I love that. He's like, I think I can be honest with you. I missed it. He does not enunciate. Last night, my boyfriend and I were saying that. My boyfriend was like, oh my god, he says. He says, instead of relationship, he says, my relationship I might've been waking up with. Yeah. That was an asshole thing to say, Such an asshole thing to say. Person all, Hi, Katie, what did you think of Do you like Andy? You watch that season? Do you like Andy? Oh? I do not like Candy. I mean the fact that she chose Josh to tell you a lot about her. Oh my god. He and she just I don't know. I just never liked are they still together. No, he went to Paradise last summer and I got with Amanda that but then they broke up because Josh is all the worst. He is worst, and he's emotionally abusive. Apparently they've been seen together again, Amanda and Josh. I want to be emotionally abused. Cutton run, Cutton Run, because he's kind of guy that would make somebody get implants. He feels like I always felt like Andy had to stick up her ass. Yeah, she she felt like I was like looking at her and I thought, with the proper blowout and maybe some lip injactions, I could be a boutchelor, you know what. I'm looking at her. I'm like, something's like something up. It's just blowout leather pants and like a good set of tips on her nails. Well, it was just all such a set up to nothing, and they it's just like and then nick and then to be continued and then come back like things, how are you? And it did, but it felt like it felt like the producers are like, how can we make it okay if he does these girls? Because his and his dream has come true, He's gonna be on Dancing with the Stars. He is maybe we don't know yet. They're announcing tomorrow and good morning America. My mother will be watching, and I'm sure she will text me right away. Yes, I'll let you guys. What's your mom's name? My mom wouldn't want me to tell her. Okays, No Janu Marine a little Consume Realist date for all your real estate years. If you need a summer rental, if you need a summer rental, Little compton are dot com. She's so funny. She was all upset about the Oscars. She kept like, I kept trying to find Moonlighting, but Moonlighting is not playing there here. And then I got a text last night about Piper. She goes, it's my favorite movie, the short, that one. She's like, well, they played the whole thing at the Oscars. I was like, bum, I guarantee you. They didn't take seven minutes of the telecast. They did not. They played a clip of it. They did not play it in the entire seven minutes from She decided that was her favorite in her mind. She watched the entire seven minutes short during during the Oscar tells that was her takeaway. Okay, so here we go. She goes, Hello, what you thinking how are you. So then they're at the William Vale Hotel somewhere deep in Brooklyn, and those girls are outside. Let's discuss the dresses for a second. Vanessa's crazy dress with the jewels and the and then her cut outs and the bomber jacket, and then and then we have Karin's crotch dress and I'm like, it was like a bathing suit, Like yeah, she was like it was. It was. It's like it got crooked because like it's like the slit should have been up the side of the leg, but as she walked it shimad over to the front. It was like when she was the slave girl, and it was fully like they're outside they like raided a West album and they got all their Edison bulbs, but it was like, you know, all like like like a full hale, like like there was a gusty gale storm and like meanwhile, he's like chat and with leather pants like Newman hollow neck. Upstairs, they're like shivering in their like ace bandage dresses waiting for him. And Okay, so then Rachel looked very pretty in her green dress, and Raven, who is my new favorite. We'll get to rad I'm full team rating, really so mad about the whole Rachel thing. Why didn't they spoil that? Because then I was like, for sure she's not getting a rose last night, And I was like, and then we both my boyfriend I like scraping out, like what is happening? Here's my theory, Why do they do? That's my theory. My theory is they're so giving up on this season. They're like, in my mind, they're like, Wow, he's not really fallen along, he's not really like we need a really we need to revive and have like a riveting bachelorette. We need to get her. I think they needed more time to get her really good guys to make us vested again, because this feels like a phoning it and guy who's been trying to get on dancing with the start, I mean, oh my god, please next um um. I feel like you just told me Santa Claus wasn't real right. I just feel like, I mean, it's going well. I thought it was, like you just I feel like he's just going to fall in love with So I feel like him and Ray even look at Scouts Scouts up there to scout. What do you think, Scout what do you think that's who? Jog sounds like right, that's why I don't think any animation things. Okay, anyway, I just obviously it's not Rachel. But now we know who the final two are. I mean, Rachel is one of the final two. Why would they do that? She can't be I don't think because because if it's true, if it was reality, Steve or whatever, like he spoils things every year, so who cares well. They also even this episode before he gave the roses with Ravens, He's like, why are you doing that? It was such fully they were It's like they hid all season that she had never orgasm, and then at the last minute they're like, oh, they like blew their low, like she's never Like they completely they got so close to being cool with like a really good reveal, like that's to get this sweet, charming girl to actually confess it in a way that didn't feel creepy or so it was just like actually charming and sweet, these well these jackasses completely But I know we'll get to that. We'll get to that. Okay, So here we go, maybe thirty girls, I'm gonna dump Andy, Are you gonna have sex? Okay, it's okay to get intimate just a friend who says get into the person that he outed her. Um So then they then they made amends with each other, and then she says it's okay to get in the bones one to the girls. So then the previews they showed Raven, which is like, um so, then we're back at the rose ceremony and before it even started, Karin was tearing up, which just there the whole time, and then it was on the top of her like what happened? When did they cut away? They could they didn't edit right, because we should have at least seen the tear drop water there was she was it just cold? My eyes here when it's cold, I do get they were so called was full on twitching. Looked like Raven was talking to herself for a second that because you know what like this, and I was wondering why they didn't edit that out right. It was almost like where she looked like a crazy I don't know, a peyote hut, like what happened last night? Who did? Who let that happen? Who put? Who put the Raven? Like? Like who said that? We know that she's got the rose before she got the rose like everything was off. What's that movie that Jennifer um, what's her name? Was in The Blonde One that we all love? Who falls Down? And Lawrence? Why did I forget her name? It's okay, it's not a power move. It's just early. It's okay, it's early. We're in commember or in a hut and it's like four am. Remember that movie she was in. It was real cold out and there was a river. Yes, on was the first one she was nominated for, the real good one called Cold River. On general, it's the super Lining Paybook. Before that, before that, the River, the Cold River, whatever that movie called. When they cut to Raven, she was talking to herself. I thought she was like one of the funked up cousins Backwoods herself. Last week get down there. Last week, THEO was saying that he thought one of the guys that was Vanessa's students was flout sling Blade guy, and he was gonna murder next Oh yeah, that big guy. Big guy felt like sling Blade didn't. He didn't seem mentally disabled at first. He just seemed like a scary guy. Scary janitor, scary janitor. Um. Okay, so then Karen gets caught and I actually felt bad for her. Yeah, I was thinking that the winter winter I should have because of the bone. Everything I know about bone I know, I remember everything with side note. I had a mail something like I actually put something in a mailbox recently and this week I opened. I opened the thing on the inside of like the mail flu it had a bone zone sticker and I've never felt more closely the presence of God. It was a bone zone inside. I was like, oh, my God, there is something greater than our people really do fun mailboxes. Yeah, people do fun mailboxes, Yeah, Katie. That's Randy Litkey and Brendan Welsh's podcast. My God is a full circle moment. So it's not like a gang unless it was just I mean, it could be something they might they might have sucked the mailbox. I know these two. It's it's fully believable than they did. Okay, So she looks like a horny bunny Karin when she was leaving, and then she apologized to him because she's tent. Yeah, I mean that goodbye was like a father and daughter and he was like, oh no, sweetheart, and then she wiggled. She said good luck and she did a little wiggle and then really feel bad because she was Everyone was like, I'm so nervous. I love him so much. I was so nervous, and she's like, everything's great. I'm not nervous. I said, I love him and he met my parents. Yeah, I felt like so I really didn't like her from the beginning, none of us did. But then I do think that there are a lot of editing, and then they towards the end they started to show more of her actual personality, and then I was like, oh, and for real, when they went to hometowns and stuff, I was like, oh, I actually I think they deserve each other today. I think they would be very good together, aside from her spending habits like he could never support her, but maybe he wouldn't need to they could get brand deals for But so when she got caught, I actually was like, oh no, because Manasa is way too good for him. She over her Now I'm not feeling her. Well. There are a few things happening. One and this is for all women listening period, because Karen did this too, that whole thing of like whatever I did wrong, whatever, and then the whole rant at the end that I'm going to stop. I wrote it down. Why I just want to I did feel bad for her. I just want to feel loved. Why can't I have a normal relationship. I'm trying to say things that men think are appropriate. And you know what, I'm done trying to show my man how much I worshiped them. I need that. Yeah, that's the problem with all women today period. You're not It's love needs to be balanced and and and just in I'm sorry. As far as we've come, there is still just like primal roles that that are in our bodies and men when you overly chase them, they just don't respond. And just people in general, even women. If a guy is like overly pursuing, you're like, hey, this guy. But if it's balanced and you're truthful and honest with just how you feel, it's I don't know, it doesn't need to be this this this tiring feat to try and win someone over. Just be yourself. I actually honest. It actually felt like the most like feminist thing this show. There was a moment of like I actually liked when Karim was like, I'm done. I'm done trying to impress the men. They can come to maze. That's where she girl. Part of me was like if she needed to go on this journey and bring her suitcase filled with bounce houses and whipped cream to to be able to like be like, you know what, fucking ie, she's done. She's done. I guess so, yes, I agree with you. Absolutely, You're not going to find a normal relationship on a game show. And she's also like twenty three, so she hasn't probably had a lot of experience. Um, and she's a narcissist. She is a narciss I mean she even was like when her dad said, why do you what is it about him? She was like, because he loves Karan. Yeah. Yeah, because you're totally just having a fantasy of Karin going off and being like Cosette and just be like with her whip carem and like nobody shot or talks to bouncy dude. Who Ever outfitted her from beginning to end, she had the craziest outfits, like even for like if you're going for totally like suck me up, it's a lot of them were like beige, weird, ill fitting ace bandage like like if you've got that baby. There were a lot of money in theory, like she could have really gone at it. They were the strangest colors, a bit like when he broke up with her, I was thinking, he was thinking, like, can I keep the cloaks? Yeah? Can you just one more shopping trip? I want a high and sweat suite? Oh my god, amazing. So yeah, I mean so long ran the snap. She napped on her way. Yet I was like, oh, you're She was like, I need to sleep, and I was like, oh, oh right now. Yeah. Oh. I didn't realize after he broke up she had a glass. She had a Champage glass in her hand. You were ready to say you heard that she was seen with Chad. No, no, no, are you serious? And so she had this feminist revolution and then she went right to Chad. That's gross. Yet, Anna, Anna talked to us, Anna, You've been doing a lot of deep, deep Internet over in Iran. I got myself one of those like past the blocks things my computer and then I was like I was crazy. No. But Chad apparently talked about how they were texting, because they were talking about like they were kind of going over what it's like to be the villain, and I guess he was comforting her telling her not to take it too personally like, and then yeah, apparently they were texting and then they were in a photo together with him Um and Olivia. So they're like having like a weird like no one understands us were the villains of this series that that could be actually a great offshoot show. Oh my god, I'd rather watch and Bachelor Villains. Yeah, way rather, And you know, I really don't want on there. I really don't want Taylor because she's so bored. Emotional intelligence has to stay out. They forced that. Okay, So here we are in Finland, you guys, beautiful Finland, and I love that they show the map of the plane take off so that America knows where Finland is. Yeah, that's right. It's like, we don't know where Biminy is, but we do. We have heard of Finland and Finland. Oh that's Finland. It's such a funny name. And it's like the fairy from Cinderella, like here we go, Oh we're going to Beminy. They're going to Finland. And I don't want to say I enjoyed all of this. Raven like so cute in her palm pom hat. I love winter clothing. I love a winter date. Um um. She said she'd never told anyone that she loved them before, and um. So then they get whis stuff in a helicopter and I just a team Raven right now. I want Raven to win. I love her so much. Yeah, I do too, I really do. And she seems like she's in it for the right reason. She is. That was like when nurse speech was so genuine, so lovely. She's so well spoken, her parents raised her right, she's she's not a pushover, she's elegant. I like the way she phrased it. Like now leading up to that, Nick's we a woman who will cook or clean for me? I just thought, what the fuck? And then he was like, but he was clearly fishing, you better do one of those I'll cook you better clean. Yeah he was masking. It was he was chining to see a feminist but feeling right exactly. He's like, I don't need a woman who cooks her, you cook her clean. It was masked a little bit in there, but then he cooks, he said, cooks. But then it was like, do you full laundry? Like like I thought it was more than his way of saying like, I am a randy dog who only cares about physical stuff, so I don't care about all the other things that women can give me. Are you a wild child? Bob chat in the sac Yeah, yeah he really. He does always say like I wanted to stay excited, it's on my toes. I want a woman who keeps me on my toes. Yeah, he's definitely a bottom like. He definitely feels like he wants to just get like that the ship beat out of him, which might be why he loves Karin with her stiletto beat up. So she was so sweet an orgasm and and okay, so I was sweet and honest talk about her orgasm? Did I just say she was sister organ? Yes? I don't think that he liked Karn. I think they made her keep her on until this round. I disagree. I felt like his pecker was like like, I think he cares enough about his image that he knew he had to get rid of Karine. But I feel like he desperately wanted to get into the bail. I agree with both of you. I think he was he wanted to fuck her and it lasted until Hometowns then produced like we gotta see her hometown. We need to see that. We did see the man, you know, we have to and then maybe they kept her, they made him keep her. Yeah, once we found she had a nanny, we had to meet Raquel, obviously, but thank god that she ate with them at the table before they cut to her. I was like, if she's not eating with them, I'm sure it's the only time she ever ate with Oh really, do you think she eats with them on a regular basis. I feel like she's a folding table in front of a little black and white TV in her clothes. Oh my god, that was that was so awful. She had she have a little policy or something. She seems like shakes alas something. Somebody send rock Hills some CBD oil. Um. So anyway, so yes, so we're with Raven. We're falling in love with Raven. And she was so open, like so many different ways of saying, like she said in eighteen different ways. I've never orgasmic, I know. She and the poor thing like, no one's saying you have to have sex with him tonight, I know. But she looked terrified. She could not get enough wine in and she looked more scared about having to have sex than she looked about saying I love you. It was like, so I wish we had a camera on her one boyfriend, Oh my god, you know it was just like what, I don't wait, really him? Oh my god. And everybody in town knows you're the guy that could not play everyone in the world. Yeah, they all know. You know, that is the best revenge if a guy cheated on you, like to the point where you needed across state lines with a high heel to kick down the door and see it. It's writing for that as they that's the guy. So it's like the best revenge of like, you know what, he never pleased me and say he was always drunk, he like whiskey dack like like that. Hell, I could just aside from her kind of getting to jab at that guy. I just don't think that she should have shared that now, And like not only not really for I don't care about sharing it with the public, but for herself and for Nick because it's too much pressure and then it's too much pressure on her too. And then just I feel like, if you are putting that much pressure on it, you're not going to orgasm. And then she's going to have to I'm sure she would then like pretend that she did for him because she made it too big of a deal. No way, she orgasm. If they, let's say they have sex in that year, there is not a chance that that night is the night that it happened me. She was so terrified. I think they would have to have a little bit of like it would probably take a little bit of time. And also why she just assuming like they don't actually have to happen. They don't know. I think it was usually a mystery, Like I'm so naive that I thought for seasons because I've been watching since season maybe two or three, that they just slept next they didn't, Yeah, that they didn't. Then someone's like, you know, they're boning, and I was like, what was to me? And so now they're just like put another so tonight by the way, just so you know, you know what I mean, Like I've got a little dripped down there whatever it is, So here's the thing about me there, but it's just an ingrown Katie, What did you think about all this? I thought it wasn't good dinner conversation first of all. Now, yeah, I wouldn't tell somebody that, especially at dinner, especially like before like did you ever say no? I think you say it after when you have orgasms then you go guess what. Yah. Also, this girl really needs to get a vibrator, and like it's okay, that's the thing. I know she's from a small town, she might be that, she might be religious, but like it's okay, you know what it is, Okay, it really is. It's it is. It's normal. Everybody does. Everybody does everybody. Everybody does it. And I think for women too, it's like important to do it because if you just shut the light switch off, it takes you so much longer to find it in the dark to turn it on. What a great analogy. But if you're used to you know where the light switches, it's easier to flick it on. And sometimes you need to. You need to regularly, I think, please yourself to be able to get there faster. Yeah, you gotta know what your thing is. It doesn't even need to be faster, but to even get their period, I think guys just need to like let the lights just be off every Yeah, yes, Raven, I think that. I think that Raven definitely needs a vibrator. Yeah, that's the lesson here in this episodon here and guys, if you're out there and you're feeling ashamed, let's go to your thing. It's okay to it. And uh, I love that. The producers for really really the real villains here, they like said it up. So now this is a plot point to be continued. Or did he leave her hanging because they've made it look like he didn't even bone look like that because that's what they want. Side note that turtlenext sweater. He was so happy. He loves a giant. He loves a chunky Irish nip. Okay, Yeah, he loves clothes, clothes, he loves tight. He loves a tight pant. His turtleneck was eating his face while hers was falling down to the ground like a bar do top. I was super nervous window bar wind toebar dog. Yeah. I was looking at her shoulders, thinking, you're up where the northern lights are, like, it's really cold, your shoulders are out. He has like he's like a full like uncircumcised panis like made of yarn. Look like you looked like that sweater was giving birth to him. That's sweater. No, it was fucked upside to me that I actually liked this sweater, but I know enough that you don't wear it on TV. It tastes a certain strength of character to wear a turtleneck as a man. Will you do that impression of him? Will you do your impression? Just do any impression like this can't be honest, like the sweater. How do you feel about turtlenecks? Nick can be honest? I love him. Also, you're great turtlenecks or such a statement. There is a side note that one of the funniest jokes coming in Angie Turbeca season three is one of the characters is wearing a turtleneck and come in the office and Tribeca, who's Richida Jones, comes in. They cut to her and she's like, this is despicable. I can't believe that you're behaving this way. And it's just like this whole thing. Then it cuts to him and he's wearing a turtleneck and he's like, Rebecca, it's just a turtleneck. Because it is such a statement, you can't you can't. I can't. I literally I felt like I couldn't breathe this. I'm watching my dad wore turtlenecks, but he was a Frenchman that you have to you can you can wear you can wear a speedo and a turtleneck. And he had a speedo. Believe you me, of course he did. Of course he had a speedo. Where was he born? He was he was born in France. He was actually born in Belgium, and then he was raised in France. Was your last name Belgian? Ser Belgium? You like Belgian? Thanks their beauties. So her declaration of love was so sweet. Her dad said, um, I pray for an easy love. How beautiful is that? I loved that. I don't have that dat. I don't have that dad. I love her dad. I love her dad. I want them to adopt me. That was the most beautiful thing she could have said. She said, I have a comforting feeling when I'm with you. That was beautiful. Um. Then she said, I've only been sexually active with one man, just the whole way she phrases things like even talking about like I would never have said that over dinner ever ever, But the way she did it. She was very poised, and I knew she was nervous, but she was well spoken. And here's a clip of what Nick said for the next episode, before the Rocky montage, which we'll get you in a second, he said, I knew my heart bring me to the right place? Are you kidding me? Bring me to the right place? Are you kidding me? Not only did he say that, but after Raven's whole rant, I had to write it down. My phone's over there, but let me see if I can remember exactly what he said. But she has her whole beautiful confession of love. And then he said, um, wow, I can really tell I'm sorry. Wait, can you hear me? My phone in my bag there, because I don't want to miss Oh it is okay, Wait, I don't want to mess this up because it was the stupidest thing. He just says it completely wrong. He says, I can feel the words behind the things that you're saying. What I could. I can feel the words behind the thing's supposed to be. I can feel the sentiment behind the words that you're saying. I could feel the words. I can feel the words behind the things I just said. It is so sweet and orgasm though, I will just say I did just say that. Well, I could feel the words behind the things that you're saying, for anybody that's learning English out there by watching The Bachelor, just know my heart bring me to the right place. And I can feel the words, but it's not the way that is not proper grammar. And orgasm and so sweet and orgasm, so sweet and yeah, and you know, I just again, I just don't know if if she's so sweet and so real and I know, and I just I worry because I just don't know about him anymore. Maybe human Crean would have been that. So who are you guys rooting for now? Like I love Raven, so I want Raven win because she seems to definitely Raven. We know it's not Rachel. It's not even going to think about her. It's probably gonna be Vanessa. I don't think it will be Vanessa. Also, do you think it's number one? I don't think their core value core values match. And then they showed that little clip teaser where she was like talking about there's that are in her life really and he's like, I'm not, I'm not true. I'm yeah, I think this might be a mislead. I think I think it's a mislead. They're so good at the mislead. We really I think it's I fear it's Vanessa. I used to be she was my top pic. We didn't broken up in four or five months. Of course, I have been Vanessa since day one, but now I'm not anymore. And it has nothing to do with her. It has to do with them together or I don't think it's right. She seems like she's kind of high maintenance. I was team Vanessa, and she feels a little bit like a drama. It's like, you sign up for the Bachelor, like you gotta be able to roll with it a little bit. She she just seems to not understand the show that she's on all of a sudden, like she thinks that that he can say I love you and not ask for every family's hand. But that's what every season ever does. Do you want to hear my impression of her? Yeah, it's amazing. I'm so good at accent. That's really good. I do not feel loved. I do not understand why Nick went to Azzi families and asked, I do not feel special. He went to for Fathers and asked, where did you study? Access amazing, that's not even a joke, that that is the best I can do. That it's like, I'm not even trying to be bad. It's not like I'm like Meryl Streep in that Bad Singing movie where she's like, oh, I have to try to be bad, Like if I had an audition in an hour and they're like, you have to be French. That is the best I can do. Well. It was funny because she I think it's especially hard because her accent is so good that it's whatever accent that she had is so faint. I do not know that really hard to do, but that, yeah, And not only is it it's French Canadian, which is sounds like rubber bands. It's like, let me tell you the snottiest thing that's I've ever witnessed in my life. My dad was walking with a French Canadian. The French Canadian was speaking French and my dad was responding in English. And later I said, Dad, why on earth were you responding in English to him when you speak French as your first language, And he was like, that's not French. Yeah, that's how snotty French people are about French Canadians because they just to them, it's a bastardization. Is that the word of the whole language I do not like it when I hear I have my labad loue like French people. French people they sound like this, and French they sound like this and sounds like I do not know. And then you're a great sort of and I do not understand. Why why are you not just getting you as a girl? Your French pain sounded like really sound like Vanessa that you did. You said you can actually alternate between a real French person. That was my best bed at any kind of French is so good? Isn't really tell me? Okay, nick I just did not understand, you know, why Why did you not? Why do right not you so special to from you know at anymore? Why are you wearing the turtle next, Nix, It's getting a little like Russian Russians in European Thank you so much. I can do anything, you guys, Thank you so much. So good a specific region of Russia. Well before we got going, and the montage at the end of what happened, Oh my god, the montage at the end of nick I was waiting for the punch line and there was there was no punch. It was just this motherfucker chopping wood and like fighting honestly was like, Oh, he just wanted you all to know he's still working out and this is how you do it. That's what I thought. I was like, oh, there's no gym at the hotel, and so he was like some producer. They were like, wouldn't it be funny if we did the rocky It's like, no, it wouldn't. Well, it's like he there's no gym at the your So he was out there working out and they were like, oh, get this, get this, get this. And then they were like, oh, Nick, you know, be funny. Here chop some wood too, and then we'll add the rocky music. Oh, run up this hill and do the rocky thing. It was funny. Just a prat fall, a pratfall, or if his turtleneck just suddenly actually ate the rest of his head. I just the whole thing. Katy Anna, what did you think of the conclusion of what do you think going in? Who are you rooting for? Reading for Raven? Even Ven? I don't know, She's just I love better together. I just have to say, just for the record, if I'm being honest, that I do personally like a big crush in Vanessa. I think she's so I literally watched the last night. I said to my wife, she's special. Literally said that she's really special. You know, she works, she does, but she does have an IMDb page and she tried to be an actress for a while. She was on Blue Mountain State and she there's photos of her as an actress trying to be an actress. Her wife, you will work around that. I think she gave it up clearly. Yeah, well yeah, but what would she do now? That's the other thing. If they were together, he's not moving up to Gania. That is not a good accent moving up there, and then all those kids are gonna die. That's what it happened. After those kids, what happens, Yeah, well that would happen. All of them would die. Yeah, from emotional Heartlet they love her handle it. She's a hot teacher in leather pants. It comes in and like, let's hug them, kisses them and says she loves them. Yeah. They all have bone or fever for and I don't them. So does America. I'm Erica. Yeah, um you guys, Anna, what did you think? Um? I think he's definitely gonna pick Vanessa, even though Raven should definitely win because Raven is on his level. And Vanessa, Oh, I think she's not actress anymore because she clearly can't handle rejection. Yeah will die? Oh yeah, No, clearly some ship went down. What do you mean they win another way with it? Like? What does that even mean? Um, we're gonna do. Will you help us vote on tweet of the week. I'm gonna throw one more in. I'm picking one, but I'm not going to tell you which one. And then they're six Okay, okay, okay, here we go, So Tweet of the week. We have six choices and we'll narrow it down to two. Okay, this comes to us and and Anna, thank you so much from making the picks from Iran and texting them to me. Okay, this one is from Seth that at Baseball one, Nick, do you usually choke under pressure? Raven? No? Not usually? Nick Damn knew I should have kept Karin. Okay there Suzanne b which is at Mrs Tumnus, I'll say I love you if you promised to give me an orgasm. Raven is all business. Okay, okay. Uh. At a three D Dorito, Karin is wearing a bathing suit to a Rose ceremony this is getting desperate. Okay, uh, seth that please let all four women see Andy walking out of Nick's road. That's in the running. Um, Emily Exploded says, and she's soft hands. Big Man says. If Raven had five dollars for every time she said she has an orgasm, she could buy a vibrator to solve that problem. And finally, the last one in the running is from Sarah Elizabeth Khn at Mama Bird Sarah, whoops, watching Karin try to squeeze out tears was more painful than actually trying to squeeze a child out of my virgine. Okay, so we have Watching Karin trying to squeeze out tears was more painful than actually trying to squeeze a child out of my virgin or we have. Uh. The other one is, please let all four women see Andy walking out of Nick's room. The gene or four women, Okay, Vijene, I'm also trying to find another really funny gene vigine for women. Virgin. I'm gonna go for I'm gonna go for virgine. You guys, virgine wins. Sarah Elizabeth Cohn at Mama Bird Sarah you have the tweet of the week. Watching Karin try to squeeze out tears was more painful than actually trying to squeeze a chi out of my visien. Um, thank you so much for emailing us. I have a really great email. UM Please email us anything questions or comments. Rose Podcast at gmail dot com one of the best emails I've ever got. Listen to this one. Teacher and students listening from Japan, Thank you, Dear Arden and Aaron, Secretary of State Paget and teen Resident Bachelor Rob battays your podcast is a weekly hour of pure joy. You have helped all. You all have helped me get through graduate school and now a move to Japan to teach, go out and experience the culture. No way, at least at least not until I've caught up on The Bachelor so I can listen to Will You Accept This Rose? On the way there. I've even recommended it to my English students for listening practice. They love you, guys. We even talked about when you call out the grammar mistakes? Will you accept This Rose? Love? Lucy and the students come on, how great is so much Lucy Berlin brings? Doesn't that bring me friends joy. Yeah, I can really feel the words behind thee, behind that sentiment. That's so they're there are people learning things like bank and bones, on and roon. So here we go. Here is the most excitement. Here's the newsy've all been waiting for, you guys. The ticket link is now up. This is for real fucking happening Sunday, May seven. It is our first ever live podcast at Zanies Nashville. Go to the Zanies website. It's Sunday night and it'll be up on our Facebook page a ticket link as well. Here is the big announcement. Last week, I was saying it was going to be me and Steve Heightener, who's Kenny Banner from Seinfeld. He will be there. We'll both be doing stand up. But also coming with us is my co host Aaron Foley, who's going to do a stand up set, as well as the Secretary of State Paget Brewster. We will all be as Zany's Nashville what has become of us? And Steve Heider. We will be there with Wells. We will be there with Curly and Evan and I have contact with Luke that we're trying to forced to come and um, I want to give shoutouts to people who have their tickets already tweeted us if you have your tickets. Mark Whittaker, he's coming. He's gotten his tickets. Uh, Starlett Princess has her tickets. I know Starlett Princess is good. Jill Harman, she got her tickets, So tweet us when you get your tickets. Rebecca Lawson has her tickets. So we really appreciate you guys coming. This is gonna be the weirdest road trip weekend. I feel like I feel like I'm a person who's into like Renaissance fairs, and I get to go to jousting camp. That's amazing. I'm using miles to get there. Aaron and I are shacking up together. This might be my weekend I experiment you guys. I just now told Arton that I could make it, and I don't even know. I know how I'm gonna get there, what I'm gonna do. I just got to be there. You've got you can't not be there. You had me at Wells. Oh my god, right, I've been texting Wells. Wells has been texting me this week, like he listened back. He apologized to all of us for having to cut it off. We called him last week to talk about it, and he apologied. Yeah, he apologized for having to cut it off, and uh, he apologized to all of us. He had more gossip, so he told him we'll call him again to talk. But it's like, I can't even believe we're all going to be in Nashville with bachelor contestant. So what what what point is what's going to be happening in Bachelor world during that time batch That's what I'm trying to figure out. It'll either be will either be very early on in Rachel's season, or so rachel season is going to happen before Bachelor in Paradise, Yes, okay, so right, so we might be just we might be talking about our picks for Rachel's season. Rachel season might have just started, because yeah, well we'll be like it'll be gearing up or or happening right, or it'll be or it'll be like our interim, It'll be our interim heroin fix between seasons. As we wait for fucking Rachel's season, I can't even handle it. Yeah, when well HER's there, it's gonna be sometime in the spring. It might be this. Oh my god, it might be then you guys, maybe maybe we can do maybe we can do our preseason picks on stage with Bachelor contestants and then they go to Paradise. I can't even handle it. How excited are you for that? Because I'm an audition I'm I also, I just want to just confess one final thing and then I do have to go. I actually think I'm here's the I actually was like, I woke up this morning so ashamed, which is normal, but I woke up feeling like I actually said this to someone. I said this to someone two days ago, my friend Jordan's who volunteer. He does a lot of work with kids, like he does like reading program with kids. I actually said the phrase to him. I was like, you know what I mean. I know it's not in the same category, but I feel like my podcast it feels like a lot of service like I do. I love it so much, and I just like, and he just looked at me like I likened doing a fucking Bachelor podcast in a comic book store with the thing that he does for work with kids. I said that and I wasn't even kidding Jordan, And I'm so sorry, worse. I'm really I'm worse. Just have some kids on. Oh my god, we have kids. We had one kid on. We did have one kid on Data Gould's daughter, Lulu. Um, you are you're being of service. It was truly the grossest thing. I actually was like, I'm as gross as Tom Hidleston when he got his Golden Globe speech. I was just as gross as Tom Hidleston. You guys. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Jordan and I didn't know how gross I am. And um, that's all I have to say. You guys. I'm about to fly to Nashville just to go, just to go, rubbed my body all over Nashville to set it up for our No. I'm filming the CMT Show with Billy Way. Oh cool, right, I love him. He's very handsome. He kind of has like an old school Burt Reynolds, like he's like a mad Yes. Well, you guys, good times every time? Did it? Tre? I'm gonna instagram video you on your outro. Oh my god, Andre, you gotta let my hair better than that. Let's take the clips out, Andre, We'll do one clip. You switch the clip to switch your clip, Andre, Their their mute. Thank you guys for listening. Until we meet again. Keep it in the bone zone, and it's time for fireworks America because Raven needs an orgasm and happening next week. Oh my god, it better be it. Bet He better not leave her hanging in a yur Oh yeah, I'm gonna get all up and getting act. It feels so good. I just gotta wonder to bless you when you're accept this roll all over your acceptus, rolls into your word Shore, your accepts rose into your word now leaving nice to dot com

Will You Accept This Rose?

The Bachelor super fan Arden Myrin along with Bachelor-obsessed celebrity guests discuss the latest  
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