Where's Your Head At?This week on WYHA, Anna is unpacking some humbling responses she got on a recent TikTok and Matt and Anna look into the red string theory, working out whether there's truth to it or if it's just another TikTok trend. Make sure to listen to the end as well, Matt received the most heartwarming voice message and he's sharing it with you all. Enjoy!
HOSTS: Anna McEvoy (@annamcevoy21) & Matt Zukowski (@mattzukowski)
INSTAGRAM: @wheresyourheadatpod
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I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.
She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of my kissing.
Style boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a trash bit. He's non recyclable catching them mu.
I love being love. I love love.
It's just like too big to comprehend in your brain. That's what having a wedding feels like to me right now. Really, but anyway, well, you're better comprehend it. It's like it's happening in weeks. Where's Your head At is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.
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Hello, Matthew, how are you?
I'm good? How are you?
I'm good?
My birthday is so soon? Need to talk about that. I'm turning a certain age.
But a lady does not tell her age.
So put it into perspective. You're thirty if was what two years ago?
Well, I guess we're going to tell her.
So how old does that make you? Then?
So I'm turning thirty two when this comes out, I will already be thirty two, so right now, I'm thirty one. But I posted a TikTok the other day a week or so ago, and I was like, I kind of want to know how old people think I am.
So I'm going to play you the TikTok.
It's my birthday on Sunday, and I want to know how old you guys think I look. I just want a legitimate gauge on how old this face is looking.
Do your worse?
They did their worse.
TikTok is savage, though. I see some of the comments and people are what did they say?
Okay, I want to ask you how old do you think I look?
You can't get the answer wrong, Like don't say I'm sixty obviously, but like twenty nine eight?
Do you think I look twenty eight?
Okay? I think I would agree that I look around that age. I probably look my age. That's okay, TikTok. Someone said the youngest someone said it was I looked twenty four, which I was like, too young, though.
It's like maybe they're blowing smoke up my ass.
Yeah, I'd insulting like twenty.
Someone said I looked thirty five, which isn't the worst, Like, no, one said, I looked fifty.
What was the oldest, like thirty five? Thirty five was the oldest, yeah, And I was.
Like, yeah, I could probably pass with thirty five, Like it's it's passable. It's just so interesting. I think it's hard to gauge people's ages as well. Like people get botox, people get filler. Like people who are younger who get a lot of filler and botox can sometimes look.
Watch the daughter say that they look older.
Yeah, and then vice versa.
People who potentially are in their forties, they've had really good like botox and filler, and they look a lot younger. So it's like, it's I find it so hard to guess people's ages these days. Yeah.
I feel like as you associate like the filler and all that with like old people doing it, when you see someone, you're like, oh, they must be like older.
Yeah.
And the reason why I chose to do this TikTok is because this girl went viral for asking TikTok how old they think she looks? And she was only thirty four, and people were like guessing, like saying she looked like she was in her late sixties.
Genuinely.
Most of the comments said that, and she was devastated. It was actually horrendous, Like she was like, I don't know if people are doing this for the cloud or if I genuinely look like I'm in my late sixties.
Did she honestly no, Like I don't think she did. I think she looked thirty five.
I would say she looked thirty five, but she had no botox and filler. She was just like aging gracefully. And I think that's the problem is like with social media, not a lot of people these days are aging gracefully, so people are getting a warped perception of age.
I fucking just hate people trolls commenting shit like that, I know, and like I imagine doing that.
She made the TikTok in a really sincere way, like she wasn't like trying to get attention or like how old do I look?
Tell me like I look good? Like I think she was.
It was like a genuine thing of like, okay, tell me how old my putting that video out there?
That want to TikTok, You're leaving yourself very vulnerable and very vulnerable to those losers that go out of their way to comment for likes and for like recognition. Imagine being like that at home on your couch, coming something for recognition from just I don't know, well, people grinds my gears.
People comment because, like number one, they want their comment to be liked. So if someone's going to be like, oh, you look like you're in like late seventies, and then people like it, then they're like, oh, people like think I'm cool.
No, you're not cool if you're saying a nasti comment and getting like you're a fucking loser.
Yeah.
So anyway, I'm turning thirty two. By the time this airs, I will be thirty two. I just had my hands, so I don't think I'm doing anything big, but you know.
Well on that and the way we look in that, I am obviously I'm this. When this comes out, I would have been in Bali for Tammy's thirtieth.
Yeah, it's very cute.
I had to find my passport last night. I got my passport and I was like looking at my passport, was like clicking through it at the stamps and all that sort of stuff, and then I saw the photo of myself, which was taken probably nearly ten years ago, yeah, maybe ten probably due for an update. Actually, and I was looking at myself and I was like, man, what would I tell myself from like ten years ago, like right now, like in three words or like five words or less? Like what would I tell I love you?
Yeah?
Like, well, I came to the conclusion I would probably just say something about like keep going like it does like it's yeah.
It's gonna be okay. I tell myself, yeah, it's gonna be going to work out.
Yeah, it all works out. Yeah, something I keep going, keep ongoing, that's.
Three keep on going, yeah, yeah, something like that.
I'll see him. What would you tell you? What would you tell yourself?
What would I tell my younger self? H everything that you think is this is more than three words?
Yeah? I actually use through thinking three.
Words and then it would be keep on going.
Okay, But what if you had it an unlimited Okay, now I've got unlimited vocabulary.
I think I would just tell myself, like, the hardest moments in your life, you will get through them.
Sometimes.
I think when you're younger, you think, like, you know, heartbreak is the end of the world, and it is. It does feel like that, but I think you get through it, and it's a huge lesson and you keep growing and everything that is really hard it all turns out and everything is a lesson and if it's not, then it sucks and you get stronger.
No mistakes, only lessons. Also, have you seen the TikTok or the reel of all the actors sitting around and they're like talking, and I think it's Tom Hanks gives the advice it shall pass.
Shall pass. That's exactly kind of That's where I was going, Like.
Yeah, like you feel sad and it will pass. You feel happy, it will pass. I appreciate when you're happy, don't dwell, and when you're sad, it all passes, and you're like, you know, no need to focus on that, just going.
And I think a positive outlook, a positive outlook is so important because I think if you look at things in a bad mood or with a negative lens, it just makes everything worse, Whereas if you look at stuff in a positive light, like, oh, this sucks at the moment, but I know it's going to be better or things are going to improve, or so hard I'm going to.
Get over it.
Yeah, it's hard at the time, but like positive affirmations and like telling yourself, like I wake up in the morning and I literally look in the mirror and I'm like, you're amazing, You're wonderful, you're a business woman, you're successful.
Like I say these.
Affirmations to myself, But when I was eighteen, I would have been like, oh, I look disgusting. That would be the first thing I would probably think. I wouldn't say it out loud, but I think it myself, like, oh you look gross, like like so negative. It's like to change the mindset is so powerful?
Do you write like a what's the word gratitude general? I tried to get into like I do when I remember, I do it all right, three every day for what I'm grateful for.
I just don't have the energy to do that. But I just like verbally say it to myself every day, and I feel like, then you're doing It's just something that I can do.
I don't need to find my pen to look for the journal.
But if you do it and that works for you, then all power to you, Like that's awesome.
Well, it was hard because at the start I start trying to think of different things I had written before, and I was like, no, no, I'm going to focus on that day. What I'm grateful for that made it a lot easier.
Yeah, I'm a positive I love that, Okay, Matt And the spirit of me getting married in a couple of weeks so close, even to say that is wild crazy.
Do you know?
It's weird like getting married because you know, other people get married.
I don't get married. It's just so weird that this is me.
That is something I've thought about as well.
You know what I mean, Like we all have birthdays, but not everyone gets married. And it's like when someone else is getting married, it's like, oh my god, I'm so excited for you're married.
But this is me that's looking at me like I'm the biggest loser.
No, I understand what you're saying. I thought about that as well. I've thought that as well.
You know, when you have those thoughts and you're like you just think about how big the ocean is, Like no, but really think about how big the ocean.
Is before fucking you know what I mean.
Though, When you have those like crazy things and it's just like too big to comprehend in your brain, that's what having a wedding feels like to me right now.
Really. But anyway, well, you're better comprehended. It's like it's happening in weeks.
Okay.
But in the spirit of me getting married, you getting married, I thought I would talk about the red string theory.
So I came across this on TikTok. It's so cute.
Have you heard of it before? Just in our notes?
Fair enough, okay, So let me explain it to you guys. So there is an ancient Chinese proverb which says that an invisible red thread to connect those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. So the thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break. So this red thread of fate is commonly thought of as an invisible red cord around the finger of those that are destined to meet one another in a certain situation, so that person is like their one true love.
How cute is that?
It's really cute.
I totally think that me and Michael have that You're meant to me, were meant to me. Like I was born in the UK, on the other side of the planet. Michael was born in Adelaide. Like we're so far apart, like literally opposite ends of the world, and we somehow our paths through all different choices of my parents and me and whatever. Like if I didn't go on Love Island, we wouldn't have been invited to do the beauty and the geek thing judge it together, and then I never would have met Michael. Like just it's like, every single choice in your life leads you to that path.
Is that? What's that thing called what's it called sliding doors? Yeah? Sliding doors?
Yeah?
Is it called the sliding door? Like it's yeah, I believe that as well. I truly believe that.
How crazy is it that you can get to a fork in the road in your life and you're like, I can go left or I can go right. And I literally before I met Michael, you know this, that's what fork?
That's a t What do you mean. I don't get that expression of like a fork in the road.
It's like your road is going straight and then a fork goes so you can either take a left turn.
Or a right turn.
I've never got that expression.
But anyway, so you know this, I came to a fork in the road where I chose between someone and Michael, and I'm so glad that I chose Michael. And I just think that there was never any choice for me that it was always Michael.
I think it was always meant.
The red string connected us from the moment I was born, when he was three.
Do you believe it?
Yeah? I agree with that whole fok thing. I think that everything happens for a reason, and I believe you're on a journey and you're destined to be where you're meant to be. And I believe, like you said, go on Love Island. I think if I hadn't gone on Love Island, we wouldn't have started this podcast. If we didn't start this podcast, I would never have messaged Hammy.
She wouldn't have seen our tiktoks pop up if you didn't have this podcast.
So I think every decision you make leads you to like where you're meant to be. I don't. It's the red line, the red string theory. I think, yeah, is another way of putting it. But I think we're all destined and we're meant to be where we're meant to be and who we're meant to be with. So I do believe it, and I do believe Tammy, and I yeah, red strings is it? We have the red string, red strings attaching us yeah.
I think so.
And I think as well, like it's such a nice thing to think of, especially if you're single. When things don't work out with people, it's kind of like, although it hurts so bad at the time, you're just taking another step into the right direction of where you were always supposed to go. I agree, And I think that's a really peaceful thought to have, because then you go, you don't have these what ifs. It's just like what's meant to be will be, Like, although I'm hurting right now and I've just been heartbroken by this guy or whoever this person is, who's broken your heart, Like, not being with this person is leading you to your destiny essentially, which is cute.
Yeah, I get it. I see it. I believe in it as well. I think that everything happens for a reason and you're on that journey to find someone. Do you ever think to yourself, like a sort of along the lines of that, that if you and Michael have been in the same place, the same I don't know, bar at the same time, Yeah, same shopping center at the same time, like you and you didn't know.
Yes, So there's this girl. I saw this TikTok of this girl. I can't find it right now, but I'll put it on the Facebook group. And she has a picture of her at Disneyland and her future husband with his family at Disneyland and they're in the same photo. And twenty years later she was like showing him like her baby album and he's like, that's my family in the same photo.
How insane is that?
That is wild? That is like, blow your mind.
It's passing ships like, you know, crazy.
It just reminds me of probably not it's not as cute as that, but Seinfeld when George castanz is in the photo of his future boss and he's trying to get it photo shopped out. Has anyone seen that episode? No, it's so funny, and then like he blames them for throwing his clothes in the ocean. It's just thinking, watch that episode. It's a good one, but it's the same sort of thing. It's not as cute as that story from TikTok sounds funny. So from your birthday April the twenty first to April the twenty seventh, it is actually National Infertility Awareness Week. Wow, so let's bring awareness to infertility. Obviously, if you've been on this podcast, with me, and you've listened to it. You've been on a journey with me through my infertility. You know the struggles I've had with it, so I feel like talking about it obviously. That's why we talk about now. It brings awareness to it. I actually had a bloke messaged me on Instagram which actually really hit me in the fields. He said that me speaking about it had prompted him to go get a test because he had undecended testicles right as well, and he never thought that he'd be in the position he's in. I might play the voice message now for everyone to listen to it.
Hey, mate, I hope you see this. I don't know if you ever will, but I've been meaning to send your message for a while now. And the reason I'm doing it now and as a voice message, not a fucking text message, is because I'm actually driving home from the specialist point mat I've just had, so I knew you've I don't do it now. I'll probably forget and it passed my mind again, and then I'll just get out there on.
A voice message.
But after I've recently all A few months ago, I saw your Metho story about how you were infertile from your underscended tests. And I had the same thing when I was a kid, like I was four years old, never thought of it since, and I'm twenty two years old now, I don't have a partner or anything, but I'm so passionate and just look forward to that part of my life having kids, and it's been, like always been the most exciting part of my life. And my biggest dream is to have a family. So yeah, obviously, when I saw that, I started freaking out a little bit in a sense that it was cool to or not cool, but like I knew that it wasn't just me who had it, But I got my mind thinking that I never thought of before, Like I would have gone my whole life and I can promise you that my whole life without knowing there was any implications of this surgery I had when I was a kid, and I would have come to thirty or whatever age I was when I wanted to have kids, and I would have just had no no like whatsoever, and I would have gone and got a test it then when I certainly trying to have kids, have just been fucking heartbroken, Like I would have ruined my life finding out then, but basically all of the stories I found out, I did it when I did a semen test at obviously this age twenty two, and I found out my semen levels are like not not sterile, but real low. So I've still got some sperms women around there, which is good. But I just had my point with my fertility doctor and basically, yeah, they're freezing my sperm. And he's basically said that I'm I'm gonna have to go through IVF when I find my partner, but there's not gonna be any issues and I'm gonna be able to have kids. But he said if I sort of waited any couple more years, and he wouldn't have been able to say the same thing, like because my spam's only going to get lower and lower and less of quality. So yeah, I guess it's just a message. Hopefully feelish your heart up a little bit, knowing that I can feel myself choking a little bit just saying out loud because I haven't said out loud, but knowing that without you sharing your message, then I know for a fact that I would never have been able to have kids in my life, like I would never have gone and got a sperm test, and I would have waited until I actually tried it, until I wanted to have kids to find out that this wasn't normal, if that makes sense. But yeah, because I somehow only bumped into your story started this year, I think it was, or maybe in the last year, got my brain thinking and I remembered about the time when I was a kid and I had the same thing, And yeah, I took action and I got myself tested, and now I'm going to be able to have kids and get my sperm frozen. Obviously not going to be the natural rudent's I'm going to be normal. Maybe not be as pleasant for me and my partner whoever it is at the time, but I know I'll be able to earn. Yeah, I'm super grateful for you sharing your message publicly because I don't know what I would have done with my life if I didn't come across that. Because yeah, I want to continue to waffle on. I'm fucking good at that, but I'm going to wrap it up, and I just want you to know if you ever read this here, this's that you saved me a lot of pain. I reckon. That's probably the way to.
Sum of that.
Wow, that is crazy, Mat.
Yeah, that's pretty pretty powerful to like, how does that make you feel? Yeah, I don't know, Like I yeah, it makes me feel that like I'm doing some good with flat because I've always thought to myself, like putting that out there is like, you know, making it public to everyone. I'm leaving myself very vulnerable for like people's criticism or for people to like take it in the wrong way. And I've seen people on social media take it the wrong way and make a mockery of it and all that sort of stuff. And to finally have someone, not finally, but to have someone actually tell me that it's done good for them, like, it's pretty powerful. And yeah, it makes me very very much makes me very very emotional.
That blew me away hearing that, Like I before Matt played this, I was wrapping up the episode because I thought we were done, and then that's like, oh no, I want to share this, And it's actually just taken my breath away completely. How amazing that you have been able to do that for someone just by sharing your story, Like it just it does make all of those troll idiot accounts like talking shit. It just makes it so worth it just that one guy like guy to help that one person, it makes it all worth it hand I remember.
I did say that. I said, if I can just help one person, or if someone can send this to someone in a position that's in the same position as me, or if a position similar to mine and it helps them get through it, or in this case, it actually got the guy to go get tested, so now he knows and now he has more chance or has a chance a kid. Like you said, if the doctor said if he'd left it, he wouldn't he wouldn't have a chance of having a kid. So yeah, that's very very very powerful.
Very very touching.
They're very touching, touching, and I encourage people as well to if you're listening to this and you know someone in a position that's similar, or know someone that had to understand the testicles, or just someone just pass on the message, pass on the message, bring awareness to it.
Yeah, because it could it could really help and change someone's life. And the fact that he spoke about how he's always wanted to be a dad, and the fact that it's almost like you've been able to give him that gift in a way, like inadvertently you've been able to kind of like, yeah, bring awareness to that.
It's just insane.
I just yeah, like I said when we were the first want to do, I just want to bring awareness to it. And yeah, I had a lot of people come up to me or messaging when I first did it about it, but like to actually hear that story makes it a lot. Yeah, yeah, a lot more like just wow, powerful.
Thank you to that guy for letting us share that story on our podcast. Thank you again for bringing awareness to infertility. I think it's han't gone notice and people really appreciate it. And until next time, Bye bye,
