What In The Winkler?!Just like her famous dad, Zoe had big Hollywood dreams, but they never came to fruition because her dad totally crushed them!
Henry joins his favorite daughter to discuss why he put a stop to an already shot reality pilot and said a hard no to her starring as "The Bachelorette". He also reveals why his agent said she'd never make it as a bigtime star.
You are listening to What in the Winkler and iHeartRadio podcast. Welcome back to my fourth episode of What in the Winkler. Today, we have a very special guest. He had no choice, so he's here. My father say, hello.
Hi, how are you? Well? You know what, I'm very happy to be here and to support you.
I'm happy you're here too, because.
My wife, your mom, is out of town.
She's out of town. So I need your help and you came through. Right before we started this, we had a phone emergency. You have changed the color of your phone to be tinted pink. Is that correct?
Well? I was playing around in the in the generals and my phone now is pink, which I don't mind. I wear pink shirts.
Okay, I can't. It's absolutely maddening. We need to change.
Well, remember this, this is really important though it's my phone, I know.
But like I have to help you with your socials.
Yeah, well, I'm never going to ask you again.
Well, we know you will or else. You just put stuff up there and we need to take it down. Sometimes you don't even realize sometimes when you're putting it up.
No, that is true, that is true. Oh you know what I'm on the Jennifer Hudson Show today. I did it yesterday.
Who told you about that clip you did? That's right?
Your your friends sent you me dancing down the hall in order to get to the stage.
That's right.
And I had a most wonderful time on that show.
And is it on your Instagram now? It is?
Well, you put it there. Sure pink is maddening. Sure you figured out how to get past the pink.
You're so welcome, Thank you anytime. That's what I'm here for. Well, I wanted to just talk a little bit about how my life choice have been different from from what you do. Like I wanted to be an actress, but only to be famous, right right? I think I said that once?
Right, Yeah, But you know the thing is that, for whatever reason, the real truth is it was not you were not cut out to do it. You were. You have a great personality to use you. No, no, no, not excuse.
Me, I'm cut out for anything I put my mind too.
Well, you didn't put your mind to that because my agent called me, who sent you on a call, and said it would be great if your daughter looked at the script before she went in.
I didn't understand I thought that they just wanted, you know, like I didn't understand.
I trained for fifteen years.
Babe, that's you. I just like fly by the seat of my pants, by the way you do. I want to say something. I didn't ask to be sent out on an audition. Your agent heard me speak at your sixtieth birthday party and asked me to go on.
That's true. That is exactly drunk. She had a little too much at I'll.
Never forget what it was. It was called like the Last Call or something. It was. It was like a horror movie.
Oh wow.
I just like couldn't be bothered. I really couldn't. I was a teacher, I had a job, like I just.
Get an actor is over five thousand years old. Yeah, it is an important communication to the world, showing the world themselves, and you could not be bothered in that moment. In that moment, it's not my again, it's not my passion. No, it is not. What is your passion?
Jeez? A great question. My kids, Yes, being a mom my nonprofit.
Yes, this podcast, this podcast.
Really passionate about it.
I feel does your husband fit in there?
Oh my god, my husband. I'm obsessed with him. I literally actually said to my therapy of your husband beyond. I said to my therapist yesterday I hadn't met with her in over a month, which was and I was just saying, I'm so thankful to be married to rock like I genuinely he is.
He's my rock and there are things I don't understand about taking care of the house, and he is always there with a smile to help me.
He is, he is, he's the best. He owns a construction company called Valuation.
Let's let's talk about that for me, because that's a family dynamic. Yeah, when he first met you, he was an actor. He was and he worked, but he did not work enough to keep you in the lifestyle that you demanded that you needed.
Okay, okay, so so far you've told me that I'm a total brat and that I don't have.
An out that you know what. I want to tell you something. One of the things that I'm asked and which is like, what is the key to a marriage? And I say it is the ear. How you see how it lands on the other person is more important than how you meant it. Because nothing I said called you a brat got one thing, but you interpreted.
No I'm joking. That was that was me acting.
Yeah, well, you could have gotten the audition. I did it, only did it that way.
That's great. Okay, So let's what I hear about that. I don't even know. But prior to that, we'll go back to Robin a second, because I love this subject. Prior to that, do you remember when I was in the running to be the Bachelorette?
Oh my goodness, and we put a stop to that, you sure did.
And then I was asked which.
We didn't even talk about your protection.
Uh huh. We didn't even talk about.
No, not aha, how about thank you?
Thank you? We didn't talk about also, and I forgot to talk about this with Kim. But originally before, like so long ago, there wasn't even that much reality TV out. It was just the Real World and me, Kim and Sarah Howard were asked to be on a show called quarter Life Crisis. And I'll never forget Matt Hannah. He worked at VH one at the time. He flew out out to LA and did a sizzle reel of us right, and I don't even think like I mentioned it to you. And then I was living at home at the time because I was just believe.
It was at this house that we're in right now.
Yes, he came to the house and you met him outside.
I did.
And what did you say to him?
I said, it is so lovely that you're here. I can suggest some really good restaurants. My daughter is not doing your show.
That's correct. Yeah, And then this is a crazy story. Well, obviously it worked out for Kim because she went on to become the most famous person in the world. But I became a teacher, which was the best job and what I always truly wanted to do.
And I went to visit you. Yeah, you did in your class several times, and you were born to do that. Thanks those two. I'm not kidding, not because i'm your dad. I'm just objectively telling you I saw it happen. If I were a young parent at the time that I saw the way you parent and the way you taught, I would have stolen your technique and used it as as my go to.
I could still be your guide.
Me. But I don't know how to get the pink off my phone.
I don't either, So, but then this is a crazy story. So I was a teacher for ten years. I taught preschool. Then after that I went on to be a therapeutic companion, which was like a one to one shadow with a child at a elementary.
School in LA But we had a special need, she did.
Yeah, and so you're a boy to Yeah, I had many. I had girls boys. I had many when I was at teaching at pres at this preschool, after you had sent Matt Hannah home, after he'd had a whole crew come out and shoot a sizzle reel of us at Ron Herman or Fred Ziegel, Matt Hannah walked into my class as a parent in my class.
Is that true?
That is true? Three daughters. He has three daughters, Lucy, Dalton and Minerva. I taught all three, but he they since have moved to Washington, d C. But I would see him from time to time.
Sure, and I'm sure.
He was like, you really screwed me, But I don't care.
Yeah, it was so not the right thing for you to do in your life. It would have just perverted your trajectory. I really believe.
That, honestly, Like I don't even There was actually a People magazine post lately, like recently on Instagram, and I got back from having a girl's dinner and I'd had some wine and the post was about Max and you looking alike, and people were like not being that nice to Max, and I took to Instagram in a way I can't explain, and began replying to all the comments. Right and then I thought to myself, like, wow, this is this is not for me. Yeah, it's just like I can't do it.
And not only that, but it doesn't matter. We're talking about your our youngest son, your brother Max. He is now. He said it ten he was going to be a director. He kept his word. He is a director, writer and a show runner right now. He has done a grotesqueie before that.
Brothers.
He's also ran the show.
Yeah, he ran the.
Show with the Alexis Feud and and now he's doing a new one with his good friend Charlie Hunham. It doesn't matter what they write, because boom, he is on a rocket.
Yeah.
You know you are an incredible mom of three. Jed is in the business r.
They also have a nonprofit. In case you forgot, you.
Have a nonprofit that you started how long ago?
Six years ago?
Six years ago.
I am an incredible mom and I am a nonprofit Queen.
You are you are. You are, You're very, You're very. How much have you raised so far? I don't even know about over two million?
Oh yeah yeah, probably like four million?
Four million? And where does that money go? Are there secretaries?
Nope?
Pencils nope, paper clips, nothing, It's to the children in need.
That's right. It's just me and two partners who I love and amazing.
You take a salary.
We do not.
If I did, you wouldn't have to come to me.
All that's correct, that's not true. I'd still I mean, you know, it's part.
Of because you're so good with money.
I'm guiding you. I'm guiding you as a parent.
Yes, you are. How do you feel you are with money?
Not great? No, it's a it's a real source of contention.
But you know what, not only you, in almost every relationship.
Yeah, I feel like I'm getting better.
You don't think I don't know because I don't live in your house. But do you think you are?
It's not. Here's the thing, it's not. It's not like I'm going out and buying expensive bags or expensive shoes. It's just, first of all, I have three kids. In Los Angeles. It is the most expensive place to live and it's the little things like the classes that this, that that is. It's just it's a lot.
But that's not just you spending. That is the family spend. What about you spending?
I mean maybe like once in a while, I have a hard time saying no if if you know, Gus or Ace or Jewels want something new and I'm practicing.
And what about and Zoe wants something new?
Oh, I just get it.
Yeah, whether you need it or not, No, I need it, you need.
It's it's I know that it's a difference between want and need, but a lot of times I need it.
Right, you know, for what life?
Just life, babe, Just for life.
Oh my goshfe I sure do okay.
And so let's go back to me and Rob because that was so fun.
He was an actor when you first met, he was an actor. And I had a talk with him in this backyard, yes, and I said, look, you've got to make a decision. Acting is so hit or miss, and you're going to now be the leader of a family.
Totally the one career where there are such incredible actors who are so well trained, so talented, and they may never work just because it's like.
It's like pushing a camel through the eye of a needle.
And I don't know, is that like a did you just make that up? Or is that a thing?
No? I think it's a thing, but I use it a lot because it really makes an image of how difficult it is. And I do not, for one minute ever take for granted. You know, I said to Max, I said, this is an amazing time in my life. He said, Hey, the universe is giving you. You just take it. Now. My father, who I didn't care for, said to me on the two bits of advice I took, make hay while the sun shines, I would think, you know what, I'm not going to do that because it's going to come around again, and sometimes it never comes around again. You take it when it is there, You snatch it up and and incorporated into your life when it's presented.
Yeah that makes sense. Okay, Okay, Well should we.
Go back to Rob Rob? So, I said to Rob, you've got a big decision to make. So he decided that he would go to his father's friend, best friend, best friend. Okay, and who was a builder.
The biggest He's one of the biggest builders in.
Las Okay, and Rob started, I am so proud of Rob for this is my favorite story. Rob started parking cars for the crew so that that all the cars would fit in the space allotted while they were building somebody's house. Act.
They built like super crazy, you know, huge, huge homes where there's a lot of staff on site, different subcontracts, different subcontractors on site, so there's like mason and paint and all the things.
And so then all of a sudden Rob started to work not in the parking lot anymore, but more in the house and he met this young man Brian. And Brian is like a savant. Brian, I've never seen anything like it, looks at a house from the outside and tells you what it needs, and he is right. So these two guys, having met on the construction site, start a business.
Brian's uncle is Rick Holts, who owned the company at the time that Rob was working.
Okay, and these two guys, Rob and Brian go off and they start their own company from scratch, and they now are building homes in order to be able to support you and the three boys, And I just think it is phenomenal.
It is there are three women actually started their company, which I think is also so cool, Eliza Pressman, Amanda Anka and Blair Cohan.
You mean those are the three people three people yes to them right away.
Yes to them, and then said yes and we are going to recommend you, recommend you and that those women, I feel like we owe so much too.
Yeah, I'm not kidding. So that is also the lesson of anybody listening. The time is now. You don't put off what it is you know you need to do. You just go and put one foot in front of the other and try it out and keep moving forward and then boom, it is very possible you two can live your vision.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's important, an important thought to me, I think it is. But I really we have We're very lucky. Stacey and I are really lucky. We have three great two great daughter in laws and an incredible son in law.
Yeah. I feel like that can be tricky, you know. So I feel very lucky that I love my sister in laws and on Rob's side too. Rob is one of five, so I have four sister in laws on that side, and I have two sister in laws on my side, and I feel like really lucky, you know, like I feel because.
There are so many people who don't get along or don't put the effort into getting along.
Yeah, I mean I hear all the time. So Rob has a really big family.
Yes, and how many they're twenty one?
They're no, they're I mean there's five siblings, everyone has a significant other, and then there's sixteen grandkids, right, and then the mom and the dad. So that's a lot of people. I can't do that with exactly, but that that's a lot of people.
I thought it came out to about twenty one.
No, that it would be more than that because there's sixteen grandkids, ten adults. That's twenty six, twenty seven, twenty eight, it's twenty eight when we all travel together.
Yeah, I think it's a lot of birthday cards.
It's a lot of birthday cards. And you know, my mother in law she does this amazing thing where every single birthday she hand paints a birthday card and even and even even for mom.
Mom said the last time that she got a card just now, her birthday was just a few days ago. And Lois painted flowers in watercolor and Stacey said, what, I really want to frame this.
Yeah, I mean it's pretty amazing. Whenever the kids are liking at the time, like for jewels she did, like baseball, and for gush she did puppies and you know, but that's like a lot of family and a lot of my friends always say like I could never spend so much time with family, not just his family, or we spend a lot of time together as well.
We do.
We celebrate every holiday together.
In the room that we're sitting in.
Yes, in this room.
I love this room because it is filled with with adult comfort, sation, great food, and toys. All of our grandchildren, all of their friends. This house is very friendly to people, to gatherings of large groups.
It always was like that, Like growing up our house, our door was always open.
Yeah, that's true. And part of that was you.
Didn't want us go into other people's house.
No, only those people you were friends with. Some people we didn't trust.
And none of those people are still in my life, which is so because you.
Are you have got good taste. What I love is you mentioned Kim before. When did you meet Kim? How old were you?
I mean we were originally babies when we met, and then because of Howard and Margaret and Robert and then we re met again, we would see each other like at birthday stuff. But then we re met again super close at thirteen. At thirteen and do you remember when Courtney did her Yeah.
And they were here in our backyard and wonderful young ladies. And they have grown into wonderful women. I mean, you know you, whatever you think your vision is of this ultra successful human being, she is as dear as she was when I first met her.
But I remember when Courtney did her first reality show, Cattle Drive another one. You wouldn't that's great? They when I.
Ask you a question when now we're talking, we're joking and everything. Do you miss not having done House?
No, I wouldn't. I don't think I ever would have met Rob if I was doing that. That's an interesting and I don't think that. I just think my life would be different. And also I don't I would have said something that probably would have burned the whole house down, because you have no filter anyways, So I remember when Courtney did that show. We had her premiere party here, do you remember, Yes, and Chris came and she made all that stuff and Kate, well, at the time it was Bruce and Bruce grilled steaks in the backyard and we had a full party for her for her first for her show. I feel really lucky because both sets of parents, you guys and Rob's parents are super involved in our kids' lives. And it's funny because a couple of weeks ago, when I went to d C for your award at the Smithsonian and to visit my best friend Emily, who lives there, I was thinking to myself, like, I want to get out of LA Like I've been there my whole life.
It's so, it's just there's well.
I'm saying we would never leave. Well, first of all, Rob's whole company is here, and you built a company.
Let me just say, you take your talent wherever you go.
I know, But that's not the point. The point is that I would never leave because I would never want to be away from you guys, or from the rhinuses.
Thank you. Yeah, that's a lovely compliment.
Yeah. Now you tell me that you wouldn't want me to leave.
Me there if you want to go, No, I'm not kidding.
Yeah, what would you do without me?
You know what? It would be very hard. There is a whole like every other Sunday you go to your in laws for dinner, every other holiday, every other year you go to your in laws for that holiday.
Yeah, like this year, it's my year with the rhinos.
And I'm telling you it. I understand it. I think it is right. I think you know it's a must. But there is a hole in the fabric of the event with all of you not there.
Honestly, my dream would be too if we could have it all together. But it's just too many people because their family alone is twenty six and also they have, you know, all their extended family. And then we have a big family, not a big family, but we've built family with friends.
Yes, right, and not only that, but also the line would be too long to get dinner. Yeah, that's right, and I don't hold back. You know, family first does not exist.
You're always first.
I am You're always and I don't care.
No, you love it.
I need to get it while it's hot.
I think this year for Thanksgiving, we should try to find a bread that's not wonderbread. What do you think?
Never? No, you mean my sandwich.
Yeah, I feel like we should. We could find like a better like non GMO option.
Okay, here it is. I don't believe it. Wonder bread, mayonnaise, turkey stuffing, from the skillet.
Yeah. We talked about this already on crambar.
I don't care, okay what I do, because I'm going to have it in a few days and I'm so excited about it has to be wonder bread.
Okay, Well, I just I'd like to just like switch it out to a little experiment.
You make your own.
Say no, I'm going to give it to you and you're not going to know. You'll have half and half and we'll any a tartine sourdough.
Delicious, beautifully toasted with jam for this, not for this, okay, all right, but really good?
Okay.
Yeah? And that that other one all the way in the venice, Oh my god.
Adore dash it. Yeah, maybe that's the one where you adore what I have it delivered. I uber eats it. The soured oat bread very far it has become so.
Do you know what I like doing errands?
Me too.
I really I feel accomplished. I feel like I'm getting out. It's fun to walk up and down the aisles of whatever store I'm in.
You are like not a real person, though, Like someone would assume that you might be stoned all day and you don't. You don't get stone, but you're just like happy to be here.
I am.
I'm a bitter Betty.
That's such a great way to say it.
You're just like you're like that little like mister happy, and I'm just like.
Yeah, And I wonder why.
I don't know.
I don't know either, because you know, we've only got one life finished. Pretty wonderful right now.
I've been thinking about that a lot lately, that life is so fragile and so precious, and we're so lucky to be here, and we're so lucky to just be on the earth, to be on the earth, it's just.
Well, a lot of people cannot see past their own nose. That is, it's hard and there I believe there's going to be a rude awakening.
Okay, what is that going to look like?
Well, I'm not sure. I don't know.
Thank you.
Being the parents of three children who are adults who have their own family, and then sometimes the dynamic between the three children gets complicated and then you're drawn in and you get different versions from every side.
We actually had this conversation recently because I had an argument with one of my brothers and I wanted you to handle it right, and you said, No, I.
Said no, because I could not handle it. I could not get to the bottom of it. I was right in the same way, in the same way that you could get to the bottom of it if and when you want to resolve it.
No, I get that. I mean, I think it's really hard because you start out with your parents kind of guiding you and sort of steering the ship, and then there's this like, I can't believe that I'm now the adult. I mean, in so many ways, I run a home, I have three kids, I have a business, I participate, participate in their lives in life. I give tours at my kids' schools where like to prospective parents. And it's shocking to me that I'm the adult because I still feel like I have a mom and dad, who you know, are really the adults, and I'm just an adult in training.
That isn't true. And it's the same way as when you graduate from school and you sometimes on Sunday night areas, I have I have homework. Oh and of course there is none.
Well, I didn't really graduate, so I never really had that feeling.
No, but look at it, look at one. But look here's the question. Yeah, let's talk about that. I think the Brothers was an interesting topic. But you did not finish college.
Well, I mean, I have two credits left.
Okay, you have. You did not finish college.
I have two credits left.
Did that really impact your life?
It did not? Okay, did that not impact my life because I chose a different route And.
It was because of your own personal power, because of who you are as a human being. You know, the traditional way is not always the absolute most important way.
No, I agree with that for sure.
You didn't graduate. You did go to graduation. We went there and celebrated you. People sent you so many presents and we said, now you've got to send them back because you didn't graduate, and you said no, no, you said.
No, we did. That was such a good That was such a great time. I thought about going back to college to just like finish those two classes.
But I don't know that important. It's not in your life. It's not.
But there's this huge conversation now about nepo babies. Okay, so it means like nepotism. Do you know what that means? It means when you get something because of your parents. I don't know if that's the exact.
Do you believe meaning you have gotten.
Not one thing. So here's what I would you said, yes, but here's what I wanted to say. I think the idea of nepo babies, and maybe it's because I am one, is such both because there are so many of that that like class of people.
Who children who are children of children.
Children of famous people, and I don't I just don't believe that that is an excuse like people will say like, oh, yeah, well that's because they're a nepo baby or whatever, that if you don't have talent, honestly, that it will only get you so far. It can get your it can get you in a door the door, right, but if you want to stay in the if you want to stay in the room, that's on you, right. And I that that concept to.
Me is yeah, but it doesn't apply to you. So you don't even have to worry about it. You shouldn't lose sleep over it. And I have to say that I'm very proud of your drive, of your drive. Max, your youngest brother, the same thing. I wouldn't allow me to make one phone call for him.
I would have allowed you to make phone calls for me.
Yes, this problem when we were when we were when we were younger, when you were sixteen, you used me like a garden tool.
Sure did.
There would be a handsome boy and you would stand next to me like you loved me. I always like, yeah, but who knew? And you would say, let's walk, and then don't look at him, don't look at him, look at the ground, look at the sky, don't look at him, and then you would use me to impress him.
Yeah. Did it work like like literally all the time.
Well I'm happy about that.
Yeah, like clockwork. Yeah, I could like definitely like count on me. But I think with that also came an insecurity in me where I need to be liked so much. I'm starting to grow out of it, but I am so. I think I was so insecure about people liking me for me that I would sort of make sure that I always I don't I would overcompensate.
Yeah, but you know what, I'm very sorry about that because you are so like a bull. You are I mean not because you're my daughter, but you are so likeabull. But there is something I had growing up exactly the same crisis. Yeah, until about like last Tuesday.
I'm working on it now, but there's a part of me that doesn't feel like worthy. Yeah, there's a part of me sometimes that doesn't feel like you know what I think not alone, No, I don't either. I think that that's a really normal thing. I think there's a part of me that's like, oh well, if they figure it out, you know, like it's it sometimes feels like it's this sort of like like I'm one person and then but inside I feel I was at this function with a bunch of people from like my like old friends and just like a bunch of people and one of the guys married this incredible woman and I love her and I've seen her many times over the years, and she said to me, you're so cool. I was told to be scared of you. I was warned and I was like me, I'm the biggest mush insecure, you know, like but it was so toughy. But it's so funny because I think the persona that you what you give off from years of whoever you are, any person who you are, you're outside face and then you're insight total totally different.
But let me just say the phone that you're sitting next to, there were days a few years the actual phone behind the toy phone. What that is a replacement because you would call with such anger that it the plastic literally melted into the furniture.
Was angry.
I have no idea, but I want to tell you. I shook listening to you saying don't ever do that again. I and and.
Don't ever do it again.
I won't. Okay, notice I haven't because the phone is still intact.
I love you, Dad. Thanks for doing this.
This is a week pleasure.
Thanks for joining us for our fourth episode of What in the Winkler. If you're enjoying this podcast, please give us a five star rating and like it and subscribe it and do whatever else you need to do.
Your friends.
Tell your friends I'm desperate.
And if you know, you're a desperate not a.
Liam, I have a bitter Betty. I'm a desperate Debbie. Okay, Okay, this needs to go off. Yeah, yeah, I'm the new star. Yes, Max and Dad move over.
