Have you ever said yes when every part of you wanted to say no? Or laughed off a comment that didn’t sit right? Maybe you’ve said “I don’t mind, whatever you like” so often that you’ve lost track of what you actually want.

In this solo episode, Dr Jodi talks about fawning, the lesser-known fourth stress response that sits alongside fight, flight and freeze. Fawning shows up as agreeableness, helpfulness and keeping the peace. It isn’t a weakness or a conscious choice. It’s a clever survival response that kept many of us safe. For anyone who lives with anxiety, it may feel very familiar.

Drawing on Dr Ingrid Clayton’s book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back, as well as other research and her own lived experience, Dr Jodi gently explains where fawning comes from, how it can follow us into adulthood, and how to start “unfawning” at a pace that feels safe.

In this episode:
What fawning is, and why it’s called the fourth F
How fawning is connected to complex trauma, and why it often begins in childhood
The difference between fawning and kindness, and the one clue that can help you tell them apart
Everyday signs of fawning, from the automatic yes to saying sorry when someone else bumps into you
How fawning and anxiety are connected
What fawning can look like in children and teens, and how parents can encourage kids to share opinions and disagree safely
Practical, low-stakes ways to begin unfawning
When and where to reach out for extra support

 

Mentioned in this episode:
Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves, and How to Find Our Way Back by Dr Ingrid Clayton
Pete Walker, the psychotherapist who coined the term “fawn”: Codependency, Trauma and the Fawn Response
Sarah Schlote: History of the term “appeasement”, European Journal of Psychotraumatology
Rebecca Bailey, Stephen Porges and colleagues: Appeasement: Replacing Stockholm syndrome as a definition of a survival strategy, European Journal of Psychotraumatology
Shreya Mandal: Demystifying the Fawn Response, Psychology Today

 

Support:
Your GP, to talk about a mental health treatment plan
Blue Knot Foundation Helpline: 1300 657 380
1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732
Lifeline: 13 11 14
In an emergency, call 000

Have you ever said yes when every part of you wanted to say no? Or laughed off a comment that didn&rsquo;t sit right? Maybe you&rsquo;ve said &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t mind, whatever you like&rdquo; so often that you&rsquo;ve lost track of what you actually want.
In this solo episode, Dr Jodi talks about fawning, the lesser-known fourth stress response that sits alongside fight, flight and freeze. Fawning shows up as agreeableness, helpfulness and keeping the peace. It isn&rsquo;t a weakness or a conscious choice. It&rsquo;s a clever survival response that kept many of us safe. For anyone who lives with anxiety, it may feel very familiar.
Drawing on Dr Ingrid Clayton&rsquo;s book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back, as well as other research and her own lived experience, Dr Jodi gently explains where fawning comes from, how it can follow us into adulthood, and how to start &ldquo;unfawning&rdquo; at a pace that feels safe.
In this episode:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">What fawning is, and why it&rsquo;s called the fourth F</li>
<li aria-level="1">How fawning is connected to complex trauma, and why it often begins in childhood</li>
<li aria-level="1">The difference between fawning and kindness, and the one clue that can help you tell them apart</li>
<li aria-level="1">Everyday signs of fawning, from the automatic yes to saying sorry when someone else bumps into you</li>
<li aria-level="1">How fawning and anxiety are connected</li>
<li aria-level="1">What fawning can look like in children and teens, and how parents can encourage kids to share opinions and disagree safely</li>
<li aria-level="1">Practical, low-stakes ways to begin unfawning</li>
<li aria-level="1">When and where to reach out for extra support</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Mentioned in this episode:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/779579/fawning-by-dr-ingrid-clayton/">Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves, and How to Find Our Way Back</a> by Dr Ingrid Clayton</li>
<li aria-level="1">Pete Walker, the psychotherapist who coined the term &ldquo;fawn&rdquo;: <a href="https://pete-walker.com/codependencyFawnResponse.htm">Codependency, Trauma and the Fawn Response</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Sarah Schlote: <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/20008066.2023.2183005">History of the term &ldquo;appeasement&rdquo;</a>, European Journal of Psychotraumatology</li>
<li aria-level="1">Rebecca Bailey, Stephen Porges and colleagues: <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/20008066.2022.2161038">Appeasement: Replacing Stockholm syndrome as a definition of a survival strategy</a>, European Journal of Psychotraumatology</li>
<li aria-level="1">Shreya Mandal: <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/bipoc-mental-health/202504/demystifying-the-fawn-response">Demystifying the Fawn Response</a>, Psychology Today</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;
Support:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Your GP, to talk about a mental health treatment plan</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://blueknot.org.au">Blue Knot Foundation</a> Helpline: 1300 657 380</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.1800respect.org.au">1800RESPECT</a>: 1800 737 732</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.lifeline.org.au">Lifeline</a>: 13 11 14</li>
<li aria-level="1">In an emergency, call 000</li>
</ul>

Our minds didn’t evolve for modern day life. It’s natural to feel anxious, but sometimes we can get stuck in a cycle of anxiety that gets in the way of, well, everything. If you’re looking for a compassionate place to learn how to dial anxiety down and get on with creating a happier life with more calm, contentment, meaning and purpose, this is the podcast for you.
Well, hello anxiety is hosted by anxiety and well-being speaker, educator and bestselling author Dr Jodi Richardson. Through open and honest conversations Jodi and her guests share expertise, inspiration and practical strategies to help you rise to the challenge of being human with the tools you need to thrive.


For education and entertainment purposes only.

Our minds didn’t evolve for modern day life. It’s natural to feel anxious, but sometimes we can get stuck in a cycle of anxiety that gets in the way of, well, everything. If you’re looking for a compassionate place to learn how to dial anxiety down and get on with creating a happier life with more calm, contentment, meaning and purpose, this is the podcast for you. Well, hello anxiety is hosted by anxiety and well-being speaker, educator and bestselling author Dr Jodi Richardson. Through open and honest conversations Jodi and her guests share expertise, inspiration and practical strategies to help you rise to the challenge of being human with the tools you need to thrive.
 For education and entertainment purposes only.

This is ‘Well, hello anxiety’, a podcast where we end the struggle with anxiety and build our toolkit of practical skills to thrive.

Well, hello anxiety with Dr Jodi Richardson

Anxiety happens. What happens next is what matters most. But where to start? And then what? And what if it's someone else you're trying to help? 'Well, hello anxiety' is the podcast where you'll learn answers to all of these questions and so much more. You'll finally see anxiety for what it really is, understand it, learn what the science says about settling it right down and how to help others as well. If you're looking for genuinely helpful, compassionate anxiety help, for yourself, or someone you care about, this is the podcast for you. An award-winning podcast Well, hello anxiety is hosted by anxiety and well-being speaker, educator and bestselling author Dr Jodi Richardson. Through open and honest conversations Jodi and her guests share expertise, inspiration and practical strategies to finally get anxiety out of the way so you can live the life that's waiting for you.



For education and entertainment purposes only.

Anxiety happens. What happens next is what matters most. But where to start? And then what? And what if it's someone else you're trying to help? 'Well, hello anxiety' is the podcast where you'll learn answers to all of these questions and so much more. You'll finally see anxiety for what it really is, understand it, learn what the science says about settling it right down and how to help others as well. If you're looking for genuinely helpful, compassionate anxiety help, for yourself, or someone you care about, this is the podcast for you. An award-winning podcast Well, hello anxiety is hosted by anxiety and well-being speaker, educator and bestselling author Dr Jodi Richardson. Through open and honest conversations Jodi and her guests share expertise, inspiration and practical strategies to finally get anxiety out of the way so you can live the life that's waiting for you.
 
For education and entertainment purposes only.