Introduction

Why the early episodes were so slow

Who pays for the round at dinner

Checking the bank account live

Sticky hands and the fudge story

Hand towels versus the bath towel

Command hooks and the 3M testing office

Dyson dryers versus paper towel

Public toilets and stage fright

Potluck etiquette and showing off

Taking beers from the esky

Patreon, patches and sign-off

You buy dinner for the table. You also, unprompted, buy everyone a drink. When the "what do we owe you?" messages start arriving that night, are the drinks part of the bill, or have you quietly shouted a round? Christian has a position. Christian also has a running lifetime deficit.

And when you do pay someone back - do you pull up the menu and get it exact, or do you eyeball it and round up? Is it rude to request the money, or rude to make someone ask? Is there anyone out there adding a small margin to the tickets they buy for friends?

Then: you're at someone's house, you've washed your hands, and there is no hand towel. Only theirs. Is a corner enough? Is a hand dryer actually hygienic, or just loud? Is drying your hands on your own trousers a personal failing or the most efficient option available? Dion is very relaxed about all of this, which is the problem.

Plus: the anxiety of the potluck dish, whether you can take credit for something you bought, and the man who arrives at a family-friendly lunch asking only one question - where's the esky?

Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

You buy dinner for the table. You also, unprompted, buy everyone a drink. When the "what do we owe you?" messages start arriving that night, are the drinks part of the bill, or have you quietly shouted a round? Christian has a position. Christian also has a running lifetime deficit.And when you do pay someone back - do you pull up the menu and get it exact, or do you eyeball it and round up? Is it rude to request the money, or rude to make someone ask? Is there anyone out there adding a small margin to the tickets they buy for friends?Then: you're at someone's house, you've washed your hands, and there is no hand towel. Only theirs. Is a corner enough? Is a hand dryer actually hygienic, or just loud? Is drying your hands on your own trousers a personal failing or the most efficient option available? Dion is very relaxed about all of this, which is the problem.Plus: the anxiety of the potluck dish, whether you can take credit for something you bought, and the man who arrives at a family-friendly lunch asking only one question - where's the esky?Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchworkFor a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Welcome to Patchwork is a Melbourne comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. Christian Pisasale, Dion Factor and Joshua Porter debate the obvious, challenge social conventions and improvise sketches, more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie. Have you ever wondered whether it's acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it home if nobody ate it? Then you're in good company. Nominated for 'Best Comedy' at the Australian Podcast Awards in 2018 and 2019.

Welcome to Patchwork is a Melbourne comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. Christian Pisasale, Dion Factor and Joshua Porter debate the obvious, challenge social conventions and improvise sketches, more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie. Have you ever wondered whether it's acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it home if nobody ate it? Then you're in good company. Nominated for 'Best Comedy' at the Australian Podcast Awards in 2018 and 2019.

Welcome to Patchwork is a Melbourne comedy podcast that stares far too hard at everyday life, with Christian, Dion and Josh.