A LONG TIME AGO, IN THE 2005 MOVIE ADAPTATION OF PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: You’ve got no sons to inherit your estate, only five daughters, so what the hell are you going to do to ensure your family’s housing and security? Why, you send Jane, the oldest and prettiest to catch a cold in the rain so rich Mr Bingley will fall in love with her! You let your boring cousin take his pick of the flock, Lizzy; but when she’s not into it, he goes off and marries her best friend so your plan is again RUINED! You don’t take any of the rest of your daughters seriously, till the youngest one SCANDALOUSLY runs off with Mr Wickham.  Luckily there’s a Mr Darcy around to fix the situation with money and marriage, because is there a problem that money and marriage can’t fix? In the end, neither pride nor prejudice can get in the way of Bennet sisters marrying for love plus, conveniently, carriage-loads of money. Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and Vanessa Zoltan to investigate the 2005 movie adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, and investigate such mysteries as whether this could be recut as a horror film, why is everyone so mean to Mary, whether rainstorms are sexy or just soggy, and why the hell are these wigs allowed. This episode is a joyous union between VMI and Vanessa's podcast Hot and Bothered, which is all about romance novels. Hear the current season Live from Pemberley, about Pride and Prejudice, in the pod places and at hotandbotheredrompod.com. A long time ago (well, a couple of years ago) we recapped the 1995 BBC miniseries adaptation of P&P, which you can hear downfeed and at vmipod.com/prideandprejudice. Follow @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook to keep up with any new VMI developments, we do miss you, and talking about tiny jackets.

We bring you glad tidings x3: Tiding 1: Jenny Owen Youngs has a beautiful new EP out, It's Dangerous To Go Alone, which you can find at jennyowenyoungs.com and in the many music places - and as well as listening to it, be sure to check out the cloaktastic artwork and swordtacular merch. Tiding 2: Helen Zaltzman is on tour with the new Allusionist live show Your Name Here in July and August - so, like, NOW - in Australia and Aotearoa New Zealand. Come and be edutained, dates and ticket links are at theallusionist.org/events with more to be announced soon. Tiding 3: VMI teamed up with romance novel pod Hot And Bothered to recap the 2005 movie adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, and you'll be able to hear that in your feed later this month. Iron your cravat and heave your bosom in preparation. Missyoubye!! JOY & HZ

Our own Jenny Owen Youngs is going on tour with sheriff of this town Hrishikesh Hirway; if you like beautiful music, or don't know if you like it but are ready to be swayed, go see them! They'll be playing cities in the eastern USA this month of March 2022, then the west coast in May. Full listings are at https://jennyowenyoungs.com/events.

A LONG TIME AGO IN THE 1954 MGM MUSICAL BRIGADOON: New York City gents Gene Kelly and Van Johnson are lost in the Scottish Highlands! They want to shoot some birds, but instead stumble upon a village that’s not on the map… Brigadoon! Everyone’s dancing around the town and preparing for a wedding that evening; meanwhile, sister of the bride Cyd Charisse gets to fall in love with Gene Kelly on the heathery hillsides. But something’s weird, and it’s not just the fake Scottish accents, the very tight tartan trousers, the two-dimensional mountains and all the day-drinking: it’s that the village is under an enchantment whereby it only appears on one day every hundred years, and it will disappear forever if anyone tries to leave. Then someone tries to leave! Then Gene Kelly and Van Johnson have to leave before the village goes sleepy-byes for another hundred years. But Gene left his heart behind... Lucky for him, there’s a special wake-up-Brigadoon-early clause buried deep in the small print of the enchantment, because of course there is. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the 1954 MGM musical Brigadoon and its many, many mysteries, such as why choose an enchantment with SO many downsides, how Logan Echolls might have seen this, seriously why such a self-owning enchantment, whether the village's crops and foods stay fresh during the 100-year sleeps, and COME ON THINK THIS ENCHANTMENT THROUGH BEFORE CONDEMNING YOUR WHOLE VILLAGE TO IT. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/brigadoon. VMI will now take a pause; to keep posted about what's coming up on the show, follow @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and sign up for our mailing list at vmipod.com/vmimail. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. We have MERCH but only till the end of 2021! And it's currently on deep discount. So you have a very short time to get your beautiful Not Milk T-shirts and pins, and your long lens pins and Gay For Weevil mementoes, at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations. Our ad partner is Multitude. To sponsor episodes of the show, contact them at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by Dipsea, the app full of sexy stories and somnolent soundscapes. Get an extended 30 day free trial at DipseaStories.com/veronica.

A LONG TIME AGO IN HOME ALONE: In an enormous house in Chicago, the enormous McAllister family is preparing to leave for a Christmas trip to Paris. But, when designated naughty child Kevin causes a ruckus at dinner, he is sent to sleep in the attic as punishment. Then in the chaos of being such an enormous family with shitloads of kids, the McAllisters accidentally fly off to Paris without Kevin, leaving him Home Alone. Thus, an 8-year-old who has never even packed a suitcase before has to fend for himself in a hostile adult world. AND fend off two serial burglars who are determined to break into the enormous McAllister house! Even after Kevin subjects them to multiple kinds of potentially fatal harm. A grim cavalcade of child neglect and violence: ho ho ho Merrrry Christmas! Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and resident legal expert Lo Dodds to investigate the crimes that take place in the harrowing cavalcade of ultraviolence that is Home Alone, and learn what the penalties would be for such misdeeds as hanging a child on a hook, stealing a toothbrush, leaving your 8-year-old unattended while you jet off to Paris, and shooting a burglar in the dick. Content note:Home Alone contains storylines concerning child neglect and violence.  For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/home-alone. And to keep posted about what's coming up on the show, follow @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and sign up for our mailing list at vmipod.com/vmimail. Next episode, we will be recapping Logan Echolls's favourite film: BRIGADOON! A once-in-a-hundred-years occasion, so join us mid-December for that. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations. Our ad partner is Multitude. To sponsor episodes of the show, contact them at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • Orphan Black: The Next Chapter: the official podcast sequel to the TV show Orphan Black! Season two has just begun, with fave characters returning, plus more clones than ever. Listen in the podplaces and at realm.fm. • Girlfriend Collective, sustainable, ethically made, size-inclusive activewear made from recycled trash. Get $25 off your purchase of $100 or more when you shop at girlfriend.com/veronica. • Dipsea, the app full of sexy stories and somnolent soundscapes. Get an extended 30 day free trial at DipseaStories.com/veronica.

A LONG TIME AGO ON THE VERONICA MARS SPIN-OFF WEB SERIES PLAY IT AGAIN DICK: Ryan Hansen persuades the CW suits to let him make a pilot for a Dick Casablancas spin-off show. So then he has to persuade the Veronica Mars actors to come back to reprise their roles... And then they all film Private Dick! Wherein Dick Casablancas is a private detective investigating the murders of several beloved Veronica Mars characters. There are masks! Punchings! Sexytimes! Pull-ups! Ghost Cassidy Casablancas! And bikinis as funeral-wear! And a catchphrase that never really takes off? Oh and a big dance number. Twice. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the official but non-canonical Veronica Mars spin-off web series Play It Again, Dick, and contemplate such mysteries as why Madison Sinclair is the MVP of the piece, how there is so much filler in such a short show, and why the CW didn't commission a Wallace'n'cookies-focused spin-off The Great Wallace Bake-Off. Content note:Play It Again, Dick contains racist jokes and references to rape and suicide. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/piad. And to keep posted about what's coming up on the show, follow @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and sign up for our mailing list at vmipod.com/vmimail. Next episode, our resident legal expert Lo Dodds will be LoDowning all the crimes that take place in Home Alone, so join us back on the pod for that mid-November! This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations. Our ad partner is Multitude. To sponsor episodes of the show, contact them at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • If I Go Missing, The Witches Did It, a new thriller podcast where true crime and witchcraft meet! Listen to it wherever you obtained this podcast and at realm.fm. • Girlfriend Collective, sustainable, ethically made, size-inclusive activewear made from recycled trash. Get $25 off your purchase of $100 or more when you shop at girlfriend.com/veronica. • Dipsea, the app full of sexy stories and somnolent soundscapes. Get an extended 30 day free trial at DipseaStories.com/veronica.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:  • We meet Veronica Mars! High school detective with tiny jackets and flowbee hair, plus a heartbreak, an absent mother, a murdered best friend and a rape to deal with. • We meet Logan Echolls, a rich boy with a rage problem. • We meet Duncan Kane, a human screensaver. • We meet Wallace Fennel, taped to a flagpole then recruited to do Veronica’s bidding for the next several years. Wallace, we have seen the future and you should run! Now! Run! • We meet Sheriff Lamb, local law enforcement with bad jokes and even worse morals. • And we meet Keith Mars, disgraced ex-sheriff, private investigator and dad of the century - but why’s he being so weird about Veronica surveilling beige billionaire Jake Kane? Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and Sheriff Hrishikesh Hirway to reinvestigate Veronica Mars season 1 episode 1: Pilot, and to dive into such mysteries as why Sheriff Lamb sniffs Wallace, whether Veronica can learn from books by osmosis, what the hell Brits are doing making faces out of meat, why is Weevil wearing a polo shirt when IT COULD HAVE BEEN A HENLEY, and why wearing Speedos with a shirt is somehow more naked than just Speedos. You can hear our original recap, the first ever episode of VMI two years ago, at VMIpod.com/1-01. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, rape and violence.  For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/1-01rerecap. And to keep posted about what's coming up on the show, follow @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and sign up for our mailing list at vmipod.com/vmimail. Next up, we'll be recapping the Dick Casablancas spin-off Play It Again, Dick - so watch that then join us back on the pod mid-October! This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Lo Dodds brings us the LoDown. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations. Our ad partner is Multitude. To sponsor episodes of the show, contact them at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • Dead Air, a new mystery podcast from Realm where podcasters have to investigate the murder of a horse heiress. Listen to it wherever you obtained this podcast and at realm.fm. • Girlfriend Collective, sustainable, ethically made, size-inclusive activewear made from recycled trash. Get $25 off your purchase of $100 or more when you shop at girlfriend.com/veronica. • Dipsea, the app full of sexy stories and somnolent soundscapes. Get an extended 30 day free trial at DipseaStories.com/veronica.  

Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and our resident legal expert Lo Dodds to answer your questions, and find out all about why you shouldn't represent yourself in court, what you have to do to get a jury trial or a marriage license, whether Veronica has sadness-clothes, and whether showrunners could stop mining the traumas of young female characters for drama. Our next episode will be our rerecap of the pilot - join us to simulwatch one of the finest episodes of television of our lifetimes on 28 August 2021, at 10pm UK time, 5pm ET, 2pm PT - or breakfast-time on the 29 August for all you Australian heroes. We will be livetweeting at twitter.com/VMIpod, and using the hashtag #VMIwatch. After that, our Veronica Mars Investigating will be done, but the pod won't be! For updates about what we'll be recapping next, and to watch along with us, sign up to our mailing list at vmipod.com/vmimail, and follow @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/lodown-special.  This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs.  We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and our resident legal expert Lo Dodds to celebrate the completion of the second year of Veronica Mars Investigations, with a parade of outtakes - about what happens to police dogs when they retire, how old is too old to join the FBI, gambling with pasta, and the very real dangers of huffing petrol (especially at any point in time since the Great Depression). Also! We have news about what we’ll be doing for the grand finale of Veronica Mars Investigations! We will be ending at the beginning, with a rerecap of the pilot - and before we do, we want to watch it with YOU. Join us to simulwatch one of the finest episodes of television of our lifetimes on 28 August 2021, at 10pm UK time, 5pm ET, 2pm PT - or breakfast-time on the 29 August for all you Australian heroes. We will be livetweeting at twitter.com/VMIpod, and using the hashtag #VMIwatch. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/second-birthday.  This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs.  Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations. Our ad partner is Multitude. To sponsor one of the few remaining episodes of the show, contact them at multitude.productions/ads.

Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman are joined again by Special Agent LaToya Ferguson to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 and try to solve its many remaining mysteries, including (but not limited to): who is the fifth lady of Veronica Mars? Will we ever get more Veronica Mars, and in which forms? Why has it taken so long for Veronica to have a fun night out?? Was Logan fridged? What IS 'fridged'? And was Jane The Therapist the criminal mastermind behind all of it??? Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes discussions referring to murder, rape and violence.  For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/investigations4.  This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs.  Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:  A thing happens that turned the Marshmallows into Burnt Marshmallows, turned Veronica into a widow, and turned our twitter mentions into a shitshow whenever we said anything even slightly critical of Logan. But before that: this season wraps up some plots! Dodie and Alonzo behead Richard Casablancas, with Matty looking on, and Clyde smiling the tiniest hint of a smile, even pauses on eating his sandwich for a moment. Matty sells the Maloof ring to fund the reopening of the Sea Sprite, the only bit left of the Old Neptune boardwalk, because Big Dick’s plans to gentrify the town still happened even with him gone. Keith’s medical problems are solved offscreen - just a bad combination of meds! He’s back to Keithing around! Although he has to dump Clyde as a friend, although we thought he already did that last episode? Is it our memory that is on the blink? Denouement time: Penn’s the bomber! Or is it murderhead Don? No, he’s a last minute red herring, albeit a herring that has been murdered in an abandoned power plant and made to look like a suicide, and the bomber is definitely Penn and the Marses are stuck in a remote location with him - wait, wasn’t that last episode? Seriously got to get the doctor to check our memory... Tick tick tick can the Marses find the limerick bomb in time? Yes! Keith is the town hero once more, after defusing the bomb Penn had planted at Kane high school.  But oh no, that’s not Penn’s last limerick or his last bomb; and after a quick pitstop for a Loganica wedding, Chekhov’s “don’t forget to move your car for street cleaning” blows up and takes Logan with it. And Veronica, at last, goes to therapy, and leaves Neptune. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 episode8: Years, Continents, Bloodshed, and get stuck into such mysteries as why the show didn't choose Jenny's sexier alternative ending, or Lo's sexier abandoned power plant, or Helen's Big Dickier decor for Big Dick’s house. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, suicide and violence.  For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site http://VMIpod.com/4-08.  We have completed our recapping of Veronica Mars, but the pod isn't over yet! Go to vmipod.com/investigations to send us questions for Special Agent LaToya Ferguson to deal with in the impending end-of-season loose-ends-tying episode, as well as for Lo about legal stuff, and Jenny and Helen about any other business you are curious about. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Lo Dodds brings us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:  Well after last episode where people told each other the plot, things are actually happening! Penn is, at last, the suspect for three of the bombings. Hot on his trail, the Marses interrupt his sexy minibreak with Carol to grab him and get that $250,000 reward - but Dodie and Alonzo show up to take out Veronica! But then, the PCHers turn up! and Weevil calls off the killing with a bat of his very powerful eyelashes.  Richard Casablancas buys Matty a car to persuade her to sell him the Sea Sprite, but he might regret it because here she is breaking into his house. He also might regret fucking over Clyde, who made the mistake of taking a Casablancas’s word as a binding agreement. Never again! Heartbreak too for Veronica as she admits to Nicole that she bugged her office, and Nicole immediately ends their friendship. Heartbreak for us as Veronica has sexy sex with Leo but it’s all just a dream! With Wallace watching, weird. The shootout with Dodie and Alonzo prompts the Marses to make big changes. Keith wants out of the PI life before Veronica gets hurt.  And Veronica accepts Logan’s proposal.  Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 episode7: Gods of War, and get stuck into such mysteries as how long Big Dick and Clyde been working together, what other careers Dodie and Alonzo could thrive in, and why they tell us about the nails So. Many. Times!!! Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder and violence.  For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site http://VMIpod.com/4-07.  The end of the season is looming, so go to vmipod.com/investigations to send us questions for Special Agent LaToya Ferguson to deal with in the impending end-of-season loose-ends-tying episode, as well as for Lo about legal stuff, and Jenny and Helen about any other business you are curious about. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Lo Dodds brings us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:  OK, here’s what we know about the bombings now: Big Dick did the Sea Sprite one. Clyde did the Perry Walsh one. The rest are still unaccounted for - but there might be something in the FBI’s theory that a serial killer has been operating in Neptune for years, so the Marses investigate some deaths registered as accidental but maybe not. Big Dick and Clyde know that Keith knows that they’ve been buying up property with all those shell companies and leaving dead ducks in Penn’s bed. Places Veronica will go: the strip club, to see Vinnie; the Pi Sig house, to see some frats; Dodie and Alonzo’s room, to snoop; and Comrade Quacks, to get drunk and dance with her two sexiest friends Nicole and Leo. Places Veronica won’t go: couples therapy with Logan. Logan has been called back to active duty though in an undisclosed location for an undisclosed length of time, so their relationship will just have to fix itself in absentia. Before he left, though, Logan managed to track down Daniel Maloof’s hacker, a neo-Nazi teen who has noticed that Daniel transferred a large amount of Bitcoin to two Mexican assassins. Oh and in case you forgot, Veronica is into The Big Lebowski. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 episode 6: Entering a World of Pain, and probe such mysteries as whether you can just show up and declare a restraining order on someone, why we are made to endure the Pi Sig frats again, whether it's ok to gift a taser to your teen protegee, and why this show is trying to shame Daniel Maloof for his kink rather than for keeping his computer password on a post-it. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning violence. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site http://VMIpod.com/4-06.  The end of the season is looming, so go to vmipod.com/investigations to send us questions for Special Agent LaToya Ferguson to deal with in the impending end-of-season loose-ends-tying episode, as well as for Lo about legal stuff, and Jenny and Helen about any other business you are curious about. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Lo Dodds brings us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: • Nicole and Veronica get high together, shoot guns together, and tell each other their secrets - except one, which is that Nicole sold Comrade Quack’s to a buyer who is Richard Casablancas wearing a plastic nose and false moustache, stacked on top of two other Richard Casablancases in a really big trenchcoat. • Keith also does some shooting, when Clyde takes him duck hunting and leaves his phone unattended near a Mars. But the text messages Keith snoops into put him off the theory that Clyde and Big Dick are behind the bombings. • Instead, Keith realises all the bombs killed people who were sex offenders. Cmon, that’s just Neptune, where everyone’s on the registry! But he decides it means Nicole is the bomber, taking revenge on rapists. • Other tenuous bombing suspect of the week: Weevil! He’s receiving money from Clyde to sabotage the town, according to Sea Sprite Shitter Juan when Veronica puts the pressure on. • Then for our weekly bomb: this one goes off in Comrade Quack’s! Don’t you dare take our precious Nicole from us, show!! • Someone claiming to be the bomber has sent a note to the police, which keeps the murderheads busy, and forces Mayor Dobbins to streak through town. • Murderhead Carol deduces that the note was written by Richard Casablancas, and to celebrate, she and Penn kiss! But their passion is interrupted by a gross discovery. • Here are some palate cleansers though: Vinnie gets a free jacket, Alonzo and Dodie get into lavender lattes, and Cliff gets a puppy! Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 episode 5: Losing Streak, and probe such mysteries as why Veronica would not only therapy-shame Logan but also bike-shame him, why you would force-feed a stranger hummus, why everyone's wearing salmon-covered shirts, and why you'd keep your dead ducks and cold beers in the same cooler urghhhh. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, rape, bombings, and dead ducks. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site http://VMIpod.com/4-05. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Lo Dodds brings us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: • The themes of the season, bombs and beheadings, combine, as a spring breaker who’s been spiking women’s drinks gets a bomb strapped around his neck. • The Marses, Matty and the murderheads are still shuffling around their various theories about who the bomber is: Big Dick and Clyde trying to kill the Spring Break business for property prices; or the Maloofs, for reasons that nobody can really be arsed with any more. • Daniel Maloof is regretting ordering the hit on the Carrs, but too late! Dodie and Alonzo have video of them killing them… • ...but one has survived? What a twist! • Not enough jerks for you? This episode features the reappearances of Mercer, Lucky-in-a-wig and Toxic Max! • But in compensation we also see Vinnie, and... LEO! He’s now an FBI agent and divorcé with a jacket full of snacks, there to tempt Veronica as she struggles with domestic bliss with Logan.  Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 episode 4: Heads You Lose, and delve into such mysteries as why Penn has a 6ft sub for a meeting with only three other people, why the Neptune Grand has been made over as a worse hotel, and the Optimus Prime of tiny jackets. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, bombing, suicide, violence and rape.  For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site http://VMIpod.com/4-04. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Lo Dodds brings us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: • Daniel Maloof’s having a shit one. He is being blackmailed because he was videoed masturbating to a cam girl. He’s still being accused of murder by Penn all over the TV. He is kidnapped, strung up, stoned and dickpunched by the Carrs. Then he is rescued by Alonzo and Dodie, who are going to kill him - but Daniel turns the tables! And the other side is also really shitty.  • Sea Sprite Bombing Suspect of the Week is Matty’s pick: mole-having gum vending machine-filling Perry, who blows himself up when the police come for him.  • But Veronica doesn’t buy that he’s a culprit, and with another bomb going off at the end of the episode, the mystery continues. Unsurprisingly. • More surprising is that Veronica actually has some fun! She gets to try on Nicole’s punching gloves, drop some E, dance dance dance - then puke puke puke the next morning.  • Keith’s also having fun - he and Clyde bond over golf!  • And Penn and his group of Murderheads are, unfortunately, still in our lives, dredging up Lilly Kane’s murder, advancing some wild theories about the Sea Sprite bomber - but one does give Veronica the link between the bombing and El Despiadado. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 episode 3: Keep Calm and Party On, and probe such mysteries as how Alonzo and Dodie are delivering the heads to El Despiadado back in Mexico; if They Might Be Giants were around too late for Logan's cut-off date for culture; whether Logan’s jacket is available in Jenny-size; and whether the show is trying to coin an in-universe version of BDE. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, violence, bombing, torture, racism, and drug use.  For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site http://VMIpod.com/4-03. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Lo Dodds brings us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: • Pizza delivery Penn is making the most of his post-bombing notoriety - he’s on TV accusing Congressman Daniel Maloof of murdering his brother’s girlfriend Tawny! • Matty from the motel is doing her own detectiving - maybe whoever refilled the vending machine put some exploding gum in there? Her investigation leads her to Liam Fitzpatrick urghhhh, but phew, Veronica rescues her.  • And the Maloofs are rescued from Tawny’s violent family by Logan doing some professional punching.  • He also punches his kitchen cabinet, as Veronica is hot for angry violent Logan, not reasonable calm Logan who is taking therapy seriously.  • In other news, Big Dick has a 'Big Dick' tattoo, and a mysterious prison buddy and fixer Clyde. We don’t know what Clyde’s deal is, we just know that he definitely has one.  •  And Dick Casablancas is an action movie star now! Sure, why not. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 episode 2: Chino and the Man, and puzzle over such mysteries as how and when Dick Casablancas became a movie star, whether the show Travel Boobs could ever live up to its name, what Veronica would really be watching on Hulu, and what legally constitutes 'brandishing'. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, violence, sexual assault, and toxic relationships.  For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site http://VMIpod.com/4-02. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Lo Dodds brings us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: • SPRING BREAK!! Neptune is full of douchey boys and drunk girls, what could possibly go wrong??  • What goes wrong? A bomb goes off at the party motel, that’s what’s wrong! Killing four people, one of whom is the nephew of El Despiadado, a MEXICAN CRIME LORD oh Rob Thomas, must we?  • We must, and El Despiadado must send two guys to Neptune to chop off the head of whoever’s responsible for the bombing.  • But they’re not the only family with a stake in this crime: the brother of congressman Daniel Maloof lost his hand and his fiancee, and the Maloofs hire the Marses to investigate. And Matty, the teenage daughter of the motel owner who died, is tugging at Veronica’s heartstrings.  • We also meet some new characters: pizza delivery guy Patton Oswalt - er, Penn; Mr Hu, whose supermarket is being sabotaged with rats; and super cool bar owner Nicole, who sure can punch.  • Plus we have the return of ambulance-chasing Cliff; a still-recovering Keith; and Big Dick Casablancas, who’s campaigning to Make Neptune Great Again.  • Logan is also back, and he proposes to Veronica! What a prick! And he plays with Wallace’s baby! Ugh how dare he!  Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 episode 1: Spring Break Forever, and get stuck into such mysteries as why Wallace doesn't have his own adorable multi-camera sitcom already, whether Americans really do use cutesy swears like 'cockwaffle', and how come there's so much natural light in Neptune these days. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, violence and bombing. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site http://VMIpod.com/4-01. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Lo Dodds brings us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Mr Kiss and Tell, an original mystery by Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham: A young woman has been raped and beaten, and, once again, the Neptune Grand hires Veronica to investigate - only so they don’t get sued for hiring the undocumented worker who has been accused. But, having cleared him, Veronica keeps going with the case, to get justice for the victim, Grace Manning - that’s right, Meg’s little sister. A decade on from being locked in a closet by her parents, and still having a shit time. Grace is one of several sex workers who have been attacked by this man, a SPORTSBALL coach. I knew I was right not to trust sportsball! So Veronica and Leo team up, dress up and wig up to go to Vegas and bust this man. A golf course is involved - sports really come out of this novel badly. Meanwhile, the sheriff’s election looms into view, with a new candidate, Marcia - with whom Keith has history. Tense sad history, not sexy history. We assume Keith’s pelvis is still knitting itself back together. Keith and Cliff put together a civil case, Weevil vs the sheriff’s department and their evidence planting. But which does Weevil need more: justice, or to stop his family falling apart? And Logan is ashore! He and Veronica are having problems, with her overwork and his months-long absences - but, they do get a puppy! And the puppy’s called Pony! A satisfying conclusion to Veronica’s years-long pony joke. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the second Veronica Mars novel, Mr Kiss and Tell, and get stuck into such mysteries as how we can go on a shopping trip with Weevil and Keith; whether this novel features the Marsverse's very first portrayal of gay characters who aren't evil, fake-gay, or some kind of prop for the straights; and if Weevil would ever want to ride a Segway AS IF. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning rape, murder, violence and sex work. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site http://VMIpod.com/book2. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Lo Dodds brings us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: The Thousand Dollar Tan Line, an original mystery by Rob Thomas and Jennifer Graham: Two months have passed since the movie, and it’s SPRING BREAK! Neptune’s popping off! Until two young women disappear, first Hayley and then Aurora, presumed kidnapped. The spring breakers stay away and the Neptune Grand is losing business, so the glamorous owner hires Veronica to investigate the disappearances. This case means Veronica gets back into her sexy disguises to infiltrate house parties run by the heirs to a Mexican drug cartel.  Lamb doesn’t care about the Mexican drug cartel heirs, and neither should you because - BIG TWIST - they have nothing to do with it! They’re just rich guys throwing parties. Turns out, Hayley went off to Bakersfield and was murdered by her jealous boyfriend :( And, BIG TWIST, Aurora is part of her own kidnapping plot with her scammer dad, who she’s also double-crossing to get the ransom money! Oh and BIG TWIST, Aurora’s stepmom is LIANNE MARS! Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the first Veronica Mars novel, The Thousand Dollar Tan Line, and get stuck into such mysteries as the benefits of starting a text message with “URGENT!”, where you buy sheets for round beds, and why you'd choose a maraca as a weapon. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, violence and alcoholism. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site http://VMIpod.com/book1. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Lo Dodds brings us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:  Veronica has choices to make! NYC or Neptune? Lawyering or detectiving? Piz or Logan? Try to guess, go on, guess. Armed with her favourite tools, a bug, a long lens and a taser, Veronica closes in on Carrie’s murderer... ...And it’s not any of the candidates you thought it might be in the first half of the movie - it’s the guy you barely saw at all, Cobb! Who? Cobb! You remember Cobb. Cobb! The death toll rises - Deputy Sacks, Gia, possibly a cat - and our beloved Keith ends up in ICU. Sheriff Dan Lamb is happy to frame Logan, doesn’t want to catch the real killer, and plants a gun in Weevil’s hand to make it look like Celeste shot him in self-defence. Veronica can’t resist getting her teeth into all that Neptune corruption. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the second half of Veronica Mars: the 2014 movie, and delve into such mysteries as how long Pizvonica have been a thing, why Sweaty Luke is just there for some kind of gross 1950s-style plot, and whether these kids ever needed to cover up Susan's death at all, but especially after the statute of limitations has elapsed. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, violence, addiction and car crashes. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site http://VMIpod.com/movie2. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Lo Dodds brings us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook - over on our Twitter, Mars Madness 2021 is in full swing, so cast your votes for the ultimate in the Marsverse!

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:  91,585 fans missed the show so much that they kickstarted a movie! The third-highest funded Kickstarter project at that time!  So off we all go back to Neptune to see some old pals, like Wallace! Principal Clemmons! Gia Goodman! Sweaty Luke! Corny! Aaaand Logan being suspected of murder. Plus some new pals, like Mac’s hot new hair! Piz’s boss Ira Glass! a new Sheriff Lamb who is just as shitty as the old Sheriff Lamb! And an intense Logan fan in a wig. We’re not so pleased to see the Pizvonica sex tape again, and it causes a big punchup at the high school reunion! We also reluctantly reunite with Celeste Kane, as she shoots the now upstanding husband and dad Weevil. And even though Veronica’s supposedly happy living in New York City, in a relationship with Piz, about to become a big shot lawyer, you know she can’t resist a Logan in distress. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate the first half of Veronica Mars: the 2014 movie, and delve into such mysteries as: how Keith has such a spacious lovely home these days, Dax Shepard's van, why Mac and Wallace force the heinous reunion on Veronica and poor poor Piz, and leg erotica.  Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this movie includes storylines concerning murder, violence and sex tapes. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site http://VMIpod.com/movie1. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Lo Dodds brings us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS:  Rob Thomas wrote a mini-pilot for a season 4 that involved Veronica becoming an FBI agent, and guess what! It’s full of awful white guys who don’t seem to do anything and leave all the work to Veronica and her new colleague Nish-In-A-Wig - we mean Callie. Callie! Totally new character! Nish goes off to infiltrate a strip club, while Veronica is sent back to high school in a tiny vest, to arrest a pervy principal… ...then she goes to question someone about a bomber but he turns out to BE the bomber!  He’s holding Nish-In-A-Wig at knifepoint, argh what’s going to happen??? The show’s cancelled, that’s what happens. BUT we've got all your incredible pitches for what could have been in the years between the end of Veronica Mars season 3 and the movie! Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 4 pitches, real and imagined, for romantic entanglements, shock reveals, redemption arcs, lucrative careers for Mac and Wallace, contentment for Logan, a detective daughter for Weevil, and hot hot Mindy for Jenny. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning sexual assault and violence. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site http://VMIpod.com/veronicainthefbi. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook - soon on Twitter we will commence Mars Madness 2021, so get ready to cast some completely inconsequential votes.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS SEASON 3: Murders! Rapes! Frats! The Dreaded Feminists! Jenny's beautiful wife Mindy! Eggs! Wigs! Bland white boys! Obnoxious white boys! Bland obnoxious white boys! Loganica together! Loganica asunder! Aaaaand... Weevil’s big red toolbox! Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and returning Special Agent LaToya Ferguson, to reopen the cold case files and try to crack some of Veronica Mars season 3's unsolved mysteries, such as: where's Wallace? Why is Lucky-in-a-wig? Is Professor Landry actually hot? Ah screw it, let's all just escape to Jenny's island where she cavorts with her beautiful wife Mindy and Wallace happily flies his little planes the next beach over. Content note: Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode discusses storylines concerning rape. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/investigations3. Hear more LaToya Ferguson on the podcasts Angel on Top and The AMPire Diaries, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram @lafergs. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook - and mark 27 February in your calendar, we'll be livetweeting the Veronica Mars MOVIE! We start 10pm UK time, 5pm ET, 2pm PT; Sunday morning on 28th Feb, Australian friends. AND next we'll be recapping the season 4 mini-episode that they snuck onto the end of season 3, with Veronica in the FBI - but we want to know YOUR pitches for the season 4 that didn't happen then because the show went into hibernation for seven years. What do you think happened/should have happened to Veronica and team between season 3 and the movie? Let us know in the comments at vmipod.com/season4pitch. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations. If you’d like to sponsor this show, contact Amanda via multitude.productions/contact. This episode is sponsored by Encyclopedia Womannica, bitesized podcasts about groundbreaking women from history. Find the show wherever you get your podcasts.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: As we know, sex people never prosper in this show, and Piz is bruised from Logan’s attack and Veronica is humiliated - and ready for revenge. Veronica’s search for the sex tape culprit takes her from Piz to Logan to Dick to Chip to some other asshole Dominick to some other other asshole Gory to the secret society The Castle to JAKE KANE!?!?! Of course, to cap a season that began with the Stanford Prison Experiment, we get the Milgram Experiment; and, unfortunately, it is performed on Wallace as he helps Veronica investigate the Castle. Veronica breaks into what turns out to be Jake Kane’s new lonely bachelor mansion, steals his hard drive, but leaves a shred of her sweater snagged on the doggy door she shimmied in through, and is caught on the neighbour’s security tapes. Keith destroys the security footage of Veronica - and maybe also his chances of winning the sheriff election. Did he win?? Find out next epi- oh but then the show was dormant for seven years. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episode 20: The Bitch Is Back, and consider such mysteries as how this show, even in its last moments pre-cancellation, finds ways to introduce new awful white boys, each more revolting than the last; how many supercomputers this college contains; whether we can ship Keith and Clarence Wiedman; and whether Jake Kane painted the big terrifying portraits of his children himself. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning violence and sex tapes. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/3-20. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. If you’d like to sponsor this show, contact Amanda via multitude.productions/contact. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook - and mark 27 February in your calendar, we'll be livetweeting the Veronica Mars MOVIE! We start 10pm UK time, 5pm ET, 2pm PT. Sunday morning on 28th Feb, Australian friends.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Rock star Paul Rudd is here to play a show at Hearst College, to fundraise for Piz’s awful radio station - but oh no! His backing tapes are missing! Presumed stolen! They’re not. A crime-free mystery! New campus celebrity Apollo has written a hit memoir about being a child soldier in Uganda - but WAS he? - and Veronica is hired by someone claiming to be his dad - but IS he? Yes to both. Another crime-free mystery! How relaxing. Until! Remember when Weevil was falsely accused of stealing Veronica’s necklace, and falsely accused of stealing the fairground cash box, and… anyway, in today’s edition of “Let’s fuck up Weevil for no good reason,” he’s accused of making fake IDs. Someone has leaked a sex tape of Pizvonica! Nobody wants to see that! Especially not Logan, who beats up Piz. Acting Sheriff Mars is investigating a string of Fitzpatricky burglaries, that threaten his sheriff campaign AND his friendship with Cliff.Vinnie is also running for Sheriff, and might be involved in the burglaries too? And Big Dick Richard Casablancas is back to spend some time with Little Dick before going to prison for all his crimes in the first two seasons. And at long last, Dick Casablancas shows some human emotions. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 17, 18 and 19: I Know Weevil's Wobble Tapes, and consider such mysteries as what Wallace has been up to in all the time he has not been on screen, what a Weevil-based Law & Order spinoff would be like, and whether that's Rob Thomas in a wig? After all the wigs he has inflicted on others! Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning violence, alcoholism, sex tapes and suicide. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/3-171819. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Veronica’s in jail for helping Josh escape jail - though later she seems to get away with helping Josh get away with kidnapping, obtaining his inheritance early, and fleeing the country. Even though Josh didn’t actually kill his dad - turns out his dad killed his dad, for life insurance purposes. And, it turns out the Dean was killed by Lucky In A Wig, for framing Professor Landry purposes! And, Professor Landry kills Mindy O’Dell! For writing both of them off the show purposes? And, Sheriff Lamb is killed by Steve Batando! So Deputy Sacks kills Steve! And that’s the season finale of Veronica Mars - wait, there are still several episodes to go? Keith is sheriff again, anyway. At least some people are having fun: Mac, Bronson, Parker and Logan do a Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt, and find a little romance on the way. And Veronica and Piz get together! Pizvonica! A pairing as sizzling as lukewarm oatmeal. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 14, 15 and 16: Papa's Un-American Mars Bars, and delve into such mysteries as which Gilmore Girl Wallace is, why both Marses are worse when Keith is officially doing sheriff duties, and how this show's compulsion to make cultural references even infiltrates the last words of a dying man. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, suicide, violence, racism and Islamophobia. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/3-141516. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Remember Max, that guy who you can pay to cheat on tests? Well he’s fallen in love with a sex worker and wants Veronica to track her down! But it’ll cost him, financially and emotionally. Remember Bonnie, the sexperson who had been dealing with Dick and other frats outside of her relationship with Luckyinawig? Well, she was pregnant, until someone slipped her a pill that caused her to miscarry. Remember the Dean’s wife’s ex-husband Steve? He’s back, because now the Dean’s dead, Mindy can’t afford to pay him the bone marrow hush money any more. Remember eggs, specifically the ones that the Dreaded Feminists threw at the Dean’s car and the Dean’s office? Keith is putting on his old sheriff uniform to investigate. Remember Wallace’s sportsball coach? No? Never mind: he shows up dead, and the Marses have to prove that his son Josh isn’t the murderer. Remember Madison Sinclair? Logan had sex with her! And so Loganica break up. Again. Hence Logan is wallowing in heartbreak, until Dick runs off to Vegas and leaves him in charge of an 11-year-old girl - who is a better friend to him than anyone else has been on this show. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 11, 12 and 13: There’s Gotta Be a Poughkeepsie Mortem, and delve into such mysteries as why this show gives us 40 minutes of awful Max and one minute of our angel Wallace, what ‘interesting lingerie’ could mean, and why are truck nuts. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, suicide, sex work, rape, miscarriage, abortion and anti-abortion movements. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/3-111213. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Real life Patty Hearst plays a fake Hearst; and real life kidnapped person Patty Hearst plays a fake kidnapped person. It’s all something to do with share prices and a rich-people divorce settlement and she AND her husband have both been having affairs with the dog walker? Update on Frats vs Dreaded Feminists: head fratter Chip is found unconscious, with his head shaved and a plastic egg shoved up his bum with a cryptic message inside. And the Dreaded Feminists make Veronica wonder whether all the rapes were fake, but NO, they were real, and the rapist has got Veronica cornered and drugged again. The Dean hires Keith to investigate whether his wife Mindy is cheating on him with her colleague. She isn’t - but she is, of course, cheating on him with the Dean’s colleague Professor Landry. And having confronted them in bed together, the Dean is found dead with a gunshot wound to the head. It’s ruled a suicide, but... is it actually murder? And after all that, w'e’re actually relieved to sit through another stolen animals plot, wherein Veronica and Mac infiltrate an animal rights group to get back a lab monkey and twenty rats. There’s even another culturally insensitive hat party! But it’s all worth it, because Mac meets a cute guy! And they get the monkey back! (And the rats, but nobody cares about them. (Except Jenny.)) Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 8, 9 and 10: Lord of the Spit Monkeys, and ponder such mysteries as how Dick is not banned from everywhere already, how this show made us feel bad for awful Chip, and why they don’t just keep Piz dancing instead of talking. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning rape, assault, murder, suicide, drugs and violence. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/3-080910. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: The Dean’s wife’s son is dying and they need Keith to track down her ex-husband and extract his bone marrow, by force if need be. The college casino is robbed! Veronica thinks it was Weevil… Turns out, Claire faked her rape. But the rapist is still real, still out there, and drugs and shaves Veronica. Professor Landry’s new teacher’s pet is Veronica, so his old teacher’s pet, Tim, makes it look like she cheated on a paper. Other people ARE cheating, though: Wallace and Logan, on tests, and the Dean’s wife, on the Dean…with Professor Landry! Someone we don’t know, Meryl, comes to Hearst College to visit her boyfriend whom we also don’t know, so we don’t care that he’s missing, nor that he turns up - but we definitely don’t like having to stop in on the Fitzpatricks along the way. And Keith and Harmony are spending time together again. There’s a not a lot of plot but there’s a lot of HOT! Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 5, 6 and 7: President Infidelity of Vice and Men, and probe such mysteries as how many crimes you’re committing by kidnapping someone and extracting their bone marrow, where is our app with Cliff just shouting words three times, and WTF Veronica and Logan are dressed as for Halloween. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning rape, drugs and violence. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/3-050607. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Veronica infiltrates a sorority to investigate Parker’s rape, and instead finds a secret medical marijuana farm. The ongoing campus rapist plot boils down to frats versus feminists. The two genders! Wallace and Logan participate in some recreation of the Stanford Prison Experiment, and unfortunately we have to endure it with them. Weevil is back! And starts working for Keith! But then punches a suspect, so he’s fired. Logan discovers some financial irregularities that reveal that he has a secret half-brother! Loganica are having problems, because he likes playing poker and she likes The Arts and putting trackers on him. Plus: some SPORTSBALL problem; a Fitzpatrick kills another Fitzpatrick; Veronica has a new job in the library SHH NO TALKING; and Keith takes a case for a hot lady. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episodes 2, 3 and 4: My Big Fat Wichita Linebacker Don’t Surf, and dig into such mysteries as how and why a professor would do a Stanford Prison Experiment-esque study; whether traps on your boobs are booby traps; and why the Chippendales landed on shirt closures as their sexy outfit of choice. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, rape, violence, drugs, anti-semitism, and abusive parents. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/3-020304. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown.  Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your shirts and pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: College! Veronica’s outsmarting her professors, driving a new car, and getting drunk. Conveniently, Logan, Wallace, Mac and Dick are also all at Hearst College. Along with new roommates/friends: bland white boy Piz, who hires Veronica to find all his worldly possessions, which have been stolen by a fake welcome committee; and Parker, who is punished for being a popular and fun-loving sexperson character by becoming the latest victim of the campus rapist who struck in season 2, and is still attacking women and shaving their heads. Keith, meanwhile, is picking up Cormac Fitzpatrick from prison and taking him to a desert safe house to reunite with Kendall Casablancas. Being a Fitzpatrick, though, he’s a violent jerk; so, Kendall is murdered, and Keith might be also. TBD. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 3 episode 1: Welcome Wagon, and consider such mysteries as whether Logan is right that it wasn’t possible to make Veronica more butch, why Lucky the late season 2 janitor has been reincarnated as an academic in a terrrrrible wig, and when Dick Casablancas learned to cartwheel. Plus we reunite with some old friends: tiny jackets, Brigadoon references, the black and white argyle shirt, and an actual Chekhov’s Gun! Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning rape, murder and violence. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/3-01. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown.  Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Bus crash! People being accused of murders they didn’t do! People being exonerated from murders they did do! Jackie retcons! Secret babies! Sexpeopling! Break-ups! And not enough sightings of Backup! Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and special guest detective LaToya Ferguson to investigate the abiding mysteries of Veronica Mars season 2. Ends? Loose. Herrings? Red. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this season included plotlines concerning murder, violence, child abuse and sexual assault. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/investigations2. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown.  Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Everyone graduates high school! Except for Weevil, who is arrested for Thumper’s murder. Keith tracks down Woody to a hunting lodge and gets him arrested for child abuse! While he’s doing that, Veronica identifies Woody’s third victim: Cassidy Casablancas. Who, after stealing Mac’s clothes, gets ready to kill Veronica on the Neptune Grand roof… But Logan saves Veronica, Veronica saves Logan, but nobody can saves Cassidy. Elsewhere in the building, Aaron Echolls enjoys a post-coital cigar until Clarence Wiedman shoots him in the head. Oh and Jackie’s not in Paris, she’s in New York City, waitressing and reuniting with the two-year-old son she’s apparently had this whole time. Join Jenny Owen Youngs, Helen Zaltzman and Special Agent Alanna Bennett to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 22: Not Pictured, and probe such mysteries as Wallace’s glasses-wearing, whether Veronica would really be into Broadway and modern art, what Corny ends up doing in life, and what to use for a dramatic reveal if you don’t have a briefcase. Tote? Trash bag? Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning violence, murder, rape, child abuse, and suicide. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-22. Join us next week for season 2 investigations investigations! Submit your queries about unclosed cases from season 2 at vmipod.com/investigations. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: There have been some rough episodes of Veronica Mars, but this has to be one of the roughest. Aaron fucking Echolls is found innocent on all charges! And it’s somehow something to do with Veronica getting chlamydia? Fvck! Off!! Woody Goodman is revealed to be a child abuser, and some of the kids in the bus crash were his victims. As was Lucky the janitor, who starts firing a gun at the school, then is shot dead. Terrence Cook is exonerated from the bus crash, but condemned to work at the casino for at least a decade. Jackie LEAVES without even saying goodbye. And then, after all that trauma, Veronica has to take finals! It’s too much! Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 21: Happy Go Lucky, delving into such mysteries as to whether Woody could have chosen a more disgusting password, what’s actually supposed to happen in court when someone shouts “Objection!” and why a load of physical evidence, witnesses and legal procedure <<< CHLAMYDIA. We have an XL edition of The LoDown to deal with all the legal bullshit in this episode. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, rape, child abuse, school shooting, and violence. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-21. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Helen’s hatred of the incorporation plot turns out to be JUSTIFIED as Woody Goodman uses it as an excuse to fuck over Keith! He can’t take his own unconscious young woman to the hospital, so a reluctant Keith has to do it. But then Woody tells the papers that she was Keith’s unconscious young woman, and you don’t sell out a Mars without your big plan for incorporation failing - UP YOURS, Woody! Also having beef with Woody is Lucky the janitor, who is stalking Gia Goodman as a result. The prom is cancelled, so Logan throws an alterna-prom in his hotel suite, which is an opportunity for everyone to get dressed up, get drunk, and get romantic with each other - Loganica 2.0???? Oh, so close! But no. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 20: Look Who’s Stalking, and probe such mysteries as the artworks in medical premises, dates to the batting cage, party pigs, and the many talents of Krysten Ritter. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning violence and stalking. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-20. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: We meet another misfit Neptune boy with a hobby for weapons: Harry, who has a bedroom full of arrows, a wall full of stag heads, and a dog that was killed by a driver of a green Barracuda car… ...which belongs to an old lady who doesn’t drive it, but guess who does? Liam fucking Fitzpatrick, to run his errands, such as: i. Trying to kill Keith Mars, but instead getting whupped by our favourite power dad; ii. Bullying the PCHers so they bring in more drug money; iii. Mooning Gia Goodman; iv. And being in league with Kendall Casablancas, who has a criminal record, a secret house, AND an identity she stole off a girl who died in car crash?! Oh and just in case you thought the Lilly Kane murder case was solved last season, here it is again, as Aaron’s Oscar has been dug up from the Kane garden, with Lilly’s blood and Duncan’s hair on it! Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 19: Nevermind The Buttocks, and consider mysteries such as whether any of the Duncans are sexpeople, how you’d get a long-dead person’s blood onto a burned-up Oscar statuette, what Keith Mars’s Power Dad training regimen involves, and Jenny’s new feature Accidental Porn Dialogue in Veronica Mars. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, vehicular crash, dead dogs, drug dealing, and violence. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-19. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: All that bus crash investigating and trying to win the Kane scholarship has left Veronica a very tired teen; she’s falling asleep in class! And having vivid dreams about the bus crash kids - now what’s worse, hearing all about someone else’s dreams, or that the show brought back Miss James to hear all about Veronica’s dreams? She’s not getting back together with Keith, though - he’s off on dates! Lots of dates. But the work always comes first. But there is one lovely new couple: Wallace and Logan! They are paired together for a science experiment to keep an egg from breaking. Is that part a dream? Am I awake right now? Who is egg? Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 18: I Am God, and face such mysteries as why Wallace and Logan haven’t been BFFs and partners in egg till now, dating for farmers, Dick’s bleach gun (not a euphemism), why so much interesting stuff happens off screen, and what this episode is FOR. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode contains murder, violence, vehicular crash, and offensive language. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-18. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to celebrate the first year of Veronica Mars Investigations, with a parade of outtakes and outdated technologies. Hear about Chuck E Cheese and his arch rival in kids’ pizza joints, the Showbiz Pizza undead bear; Xena, Warrior Princess’s horse; why Jenny doesn’t trust birds; Westworld for kids; and the story of Jenny and Helen’s meet-cute over decidedly non-cute Tim Tam Slam wreckage. Content note: this episode contains references to animal cruelty. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/first-birthday. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs, and this episode features Jenny’s song ‘Wake Up’. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Logan wins Woody Goodman’s essay contest! And the prize is a really boring-looking job at the mayor’s office, spotting Woody in the gym and sorting the mail. ...but then he finds creepy secret video taken from within Woody’s house! He also gets to plunge the detonator to explode Shark Field… …With Thumper inside, chained to a urinal by some angry Fitzpatricks after, at long last, something goes Weevil’s way. And it’s the school Sadie Hawkins dance, and what are school dances for if nobody kisses someone they weren’t supposed to be kissing, WALLACE?!? Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 17: Plan B, and consider such mysteries as how many different ways can you pronounce ‘urinal’, where to buy chloroform, and why this show insists on making Jenny watch Lamb and Woody doing reps but not anyone she wants to see doing reps doing reps. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode contains murder, violence, and offensive language. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-17. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: It’s the return of two of our season 1 least faves: sex crimes, and TROY. Veronica’s not pleased to see him either, but does agree to help him when he’s accused of raping a Hearst College student and shaving her head. This entails infiltrating a frat house, which seems like the worst place in the world? Meanwhile Cliff has been handcuffed to a bed by a sex worker and had his briefcase stolen, full of evidence about Logan’s murder case. And Sheriff Lamb and Madison Sinclair are hooking up?? Two wrongs do make a... wrong! Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 16: The Rapes of Graff, and consider such mysteries as why you would drunkenly puke into Helen’s mother’s boots, how does Veronica print out photos in the brief moment between scenes, and would you rather: Sheriff Lamb or Dick Casablancas? OK fine, you don’t have to make that satanic choice, unlike Madison Sinclair. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning drug- and alcohol-assisted rape. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-16. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Like all Wallace’s special ladyfriends, Jane requires Veronica’s services: her sister Heidi went missing after her own bachelorette party! And the wedding’s in three days!  Heidi’s got a rich fiance and a past, and these things are incompatible in the Marsverse.  Meanwhile, Aaron Echolls is back, marvelling at Kendall Casablancas’s boobs, and asking her for a favour that sends her rooting around in the shower drain.  She’s also trying to get Logan to invest in Cassidy’s booming property empire. But good luck with that: Logan’s busy dating Hannah and manipulating her parents.  A warrant is issued for Terrence Cook’s arrest, but then Keith finds some evidence that may prove his innocence - but then Terrence does something that makes him look really guilty again! Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 15: The Quick and the Wed, and consider such mysteries as engagement rings being legally binding, Gollum bachelorettes, and Kendall Casablancas being some kind of sex Roomba. For more about this episode, and to read the transcript, visit the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-15. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook to congratulate Jenny for coining ejoke-ulate. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO, ON VERONICA MARS: After a year and a half of being a one-line character, Corny finally gets his own plotline! One that involves him getting tased by a serial mugger of pizza deliverers. Is the mugger also targeting Neptune High students who are gay and will pay blackmail money not to be outed? And is the mugger also targeting students in interracial relationships?  Plus: Logan is dating Hannah to get at her father, the fake witness implicating him in Felix’s murder. Hannah’s none too pleased to be used, but nor is she pleased to find her dad’s coke stash. Keith meanwhile finds proof to exonerate Terrence Cook from the bus bombing… ...but then Veronica finds some explosive evidence. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 14: Versatile Toppings, and consider such mysteries as why you’d give Veronica a PRINTOUT of a supposedly very secret confidential website, whether Veronica ever uses the toilet, and whether it’s our brain or the plot of this episode that is a stupid mess. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning homophobia, transphobia, murder, gambling, and drugs. See more about this episode, and read the transcript, at the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-14. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook to congratulate Jenny for coining ejoke-ulate. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO, ON VERONICA MARS: • It’s Neptune High’s winter carnival, to raise money for the school trip - but someone has stolen all the cash! • Who could it be? Weevil?? While he’s taking his adorable niece around the funfair? • Jackie?? In the very brief moment when she’s not being plunged into a tank of cold water by vengeful students? • Logan??? No, he’s off flirting with the latest cute Neptune blonde girl Hannah, stealing her cotton candy and her heart, but with ulterior motives. • Random guy JB who really wants that Kane scholarship and just Veronica is standing in his way???? • At least it’s definitely not Terrence Cook, he’s at the Mars office getting drunk with Keith, safe from being accused of more crimes but not safe from Keith’s ruthless detectiving. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 13: Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough, and probe such mysteries as how big a stack of stolen cash is, why Weevil’s growing out his hair, and why everyone’s dunking on Jackie as well as dunking Jackie. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes storylines concerning murder, gambling, drugs, and transphobia. See more about this episode, and read the transcript, at the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-13. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook to congratulate Jenny for coining ejoke-ulate. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: That hit and run that sent Wallace back to Neptune is being pinned on our favourite pure-hearted boy! And he has just five days to clear his name! Veronica is on the case, and it involves a limo kidnapping scheme, infiltrating a frat party, and phone theft. Oh and she also plants a camera in a church confessional booth, to find out which PCHer is working for the Fitzpatricks’ drug business and therefore killed Felix. And it’s.…..Thumper! Who also seems to be the leader of the PCHers now, leaving Weevil powerless, beaten and bikeless. Keith, meanwhile, is cooking hotdogs and listening to witness interviews about the bus crash. And it’s karaoke night, again, so cover your ears and assume the brace position, you know the drill. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 12: Rashard and Wallace Go To White Castle, and probe such mysteries as why anyone would get into a limo they didn’t order, why there are so many hollowed-out books in this town, what Weevil would sing at karaoke, and being hit in the dick. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode includes plotlines concerning murder, violence and drugs. See more about this episode, and read the transcript, at the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-12. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and tell us which book you would hollow out to smuggle things in. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Clue in, donut! Duncan kidnaps his own baby so the evil Manning grandparents can’t add her to their collection of emotionally abused children. Sheriff Lamb is on the case, and so is the FBI - Agent LUCY LAWLESS has come to town for this case! But mainly to neg Lamb. They search for Duncan in a boat, up at Big Bear, in the Mars apartment, in Mexico - but Duncan is GONE. You wouldn’t think he could outwit the law, would you? But… Veronica has aided and abetted him! They fake a breakup, steal from Celeste, double-cross pretty much everyone, and kiss goodbye forever. And as if that wasn’t enough for one episode, there’s Wallace’s hit and run case, and Weevil getting a new tattoo while tracking down the mole in the PCHers. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 11: Donut Run, and contemplate such mysteries as whether there is anyone who doesn’t get the better of Lamb this episode, how you get Kendall to come and take a shower in your bathroom when you’re not home, if she should eat a pizza bagel when in there, whether you can learn everything you need to know about sex from WikiHow, and, after SHOCKING REVELATIONS in the LoDown, why any of this episode happens at all. To make this bumper episode even more bumper, there are not one but TWO musical tributes, so gird yourselves. See more about this episode, and read the transcript, at the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-11. Content note: Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode contains storylines concerning death, murder, kidnapping, suicide and drugs. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and tell us what you imagine Sheriff Lamb is keeping in the trunk of his car when it’s not full of Duncans. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: OMG, Meg gives birth to Duncan’s baby and then DIES. And Wallace comes back from Chicago! But that’s all in just the last couple of minutes of the show! Before that, we’ve got Veronica doing jury duty and ruining everyone else’s holidays in her pursuit of The Truth… The sex tapes that implicate Aaron Echolls in Lilly Kane’s murder have been stolen from the evidence locker, and TWO of Veronica’s ex-boyfriends are involved… And Lamb is shirtless and sweaty and loving himself, merrrrry Christmas everyone. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 10: One Angry Veronica, and play judge and jury on such mysteries as the likelihood of Neptune being universally ridiculed as ‘Bozoville’, whether $50,000 is a high enough price for wrecking your whole career and a murder trial, why the Marses are so bad at not compromising evidence or tainting juries, and whether shirtless sweaty Lamb is hot or not. See more about this episode, and read the transcript, at the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-10. Content note: Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode contains storylines concerning assault, death, murder, sex tapes, etc. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and tell us the backstory you have invented for Sheriff Lamb. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: After 1½ seasons about daddies, we get an episode about mothers! Veronica investigates whether her own mom, Lianne, was the high school mean girl. She also investigates whether, 25 years ago, mean girl for life Celeste Kane gave birth on prom night and dumped the baby in the school bathroom. And all this leads to Trina Echolls, Logan’s adopted sister, discovering who her biological mom is. Veronica herself has to practice being a mother, as a school assignment forces her to take care of a robot baby… But brewing up a real, actual, non-robot baby is...Meg!??! And she’s waking from her coma???!!!!! Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 9: My Mother, the Fiend, and probe such mysteries as whether schools really make students look after robot babies, why Kendall would go for car gears as a Duncan-seduction gambit, what the what is going on with the alternate ending to this episode, and why you’d keep dead fauna in the freezer. See more about this episode, and read the transcript, at the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-09. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. We also have MERCH - get your pins to show your love for Weevil or non-love for milk at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: Get ready for some violence: Veronica follows the trail of the murder witness right to the crime family the Fighting Fitzpatricks, and nearly gets an unwanted face tattoo for her trouble. Plus: Logan is clonked on the head, bundled into a van and masked interrogators play Russian roulette with his body parts - yes, the PCHers are also investigating the murder, in their own way. Keith’s trying to find the person who is harassing the parents of Marcos, a student who died in the bus crash. Who’s been leaving toy schoolbuses around their home and voice recordings of their dead son? ...that happen to be from their son’s pirate radio show, a cult favourite amongst the kids of Neptune. Psychics on local TV and this, sure. And Duncan has some dreams about Meg and finally gets round to reading that letter he found in her air vent. Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 8: Ahoy, Mateys!, and delve into such mysteries as pairing chocolate milk with fish sticks, getting cockblocked by your own subconscious, stitches as some kind of badge of honour, Mac’s terrible taste in countercultural radio, and the care and maintenance of ankle tags. See more about this episode, and read the transcript, at the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-08. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode contains storylines concerning violence, drugs, murder and gay-shaming. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and remember to join us at twitter.com/VMIpod on Saturday 30th May 2020 to simulwatch and livetweet Elvira: Mistress of the Dark! We also have MERCH - lovely soft Tshirts, and lovely pointy pins for Weevil fans and milk non-fans. Check it out at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.

A LONG TIME AGO ON VERONICA MARS: We have a new Duncan: Detective Duncan! Meg had written about a kid she babysat being psychologically abused, and he and Veronica set out to find who it is. Veronica takes on all of Meg’s babysitting gigs, and let’s just say the toxic masculinity of Neptune is flourishing in the under-10s. She also befriends Gia Goodman, which entails going to the sleepover of nightmares - if your nightmares include seeing a child punished, having your boobs mocked, and enduring some extremely basic-bore chat about pizza. In all that free time Veronica has left over, she investigates the plastic surgeon who claims he witnessed Logan murdering Felix. And the Casablancases deal with the repercussions of Richard’s scams and escape: the boys get trust funds, and Kendall gets nothing. And things aren’t looking good with her backup career of Logan. But… what about her backup backup Duncan? Join Jenny Owen Youngs and Helen Zaltzman to investigate Veronica Mars season 2 episode 7: Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner, and probe such mysteries as the French maid trope and the Milk Tray Man; which is more tedious at Gia’s sleepover, the boob insults and Pretty Woman chat or the pizza carbs chat; and why this episode would mention a bachelor auction fundraiser for the sheriff’s department but not actually show us the frantic bidding for a date with Lamb and Deputy Sacks. So cruel!!! See more about this episode, and read the transcript, at the podcast’s official site VMIpod.com/2-07. Content note:Veronica Mars contains heavy themes, and this episode contains storylines concerning child abuse and murder. This episode was edited and mixed by Helen Zaltzman; the music is by Martin Austwick and Jenny Owen Youngs; the logo is by Hrishikesh Hirway; Lo Dodds gives us the LoDown. Find the show @VMIpod on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook but don’t show up nude and ready to scratch. It's too forward. We also have MERCH - lovely soft Tshirts, and lovely pointy pins for Weevil fans and milk non-fans. Check it out at hellomerch.com/collections/veronica-mars-investigations.