Welcome it's verdict to a center. Ted Cruz, Ben Ferguson with you. And if you are excited that Joe Biden might be going to prison for classified documents found in an office, well you've got to be disappointed. I just, senator, is this whole story? I'll give you my theory. I think that they have set this up to say, look at how you should handle this. This will be used as precedent to then say Donald Trump, as a horrible person, deserves to be indicted and even go to jail for this. This has been done too perfectly. And I'll ask you, as a former i'd say former lawyer, practicing lawyer, when was the last time you hired a lawyer to move your office like a as a mover. And he's like, oh, my lawyers were packing up an office, an old office. I don't buy that for a second. Well, to be fair, my wife Heidi has used me to move office more than once, but that's more a matrimonial thing. Get a professional. Yeah. Look, let me start out by saying, when this news broke, I immediately jumped on Twitter and tweeted a very simple tweet, convene a grand Jury's like it now I don't actually mean convene a grand jury. But the reason I tweeted it is because if you're a leftist, if you're a journalist, if you're a Democrat, if you're an operative, if you're one of the gazillion Twitter trolls that are out there, and you see that convene a grand jury, make your head explode. So you've got to say, no, f and wait, do not convene a grand jury because and I really wanted to hear the becauses. I really wanted to hear why Lefty's explaining why we should not convene a grand jury and listen, this episode I think demonstrates absolute and complete hypocrisy. This episode demonstrates one of the things that you and I said on this podcast when the Marlaga raid happened, when the media was hyper ventilating over Oh my goodness, there were documents and Trump's archives. Every president of modern times has had documents, and there's been an ongoing back and forth. When presidents leave, they take documents, They write autobiographies, they write memoirs, they write books. This has been true with George W. Bush, This has been true with Bill Clinton. This has been true with Barack Obama, and you know what, this is true with Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. The problem here, so you suggested they're doing this is like a it's just too perfect. This story is too perfect. My lawyers are packing at my office. We then contacted the authorities immediately. We then went to the DJ We followed the protocol. We let them have them within twenty four hours. It's too perfect. Okay, So I don't agree with you, all right, then, please explain to me what I'm missing. Look, I don't think it's perfect. I think the Biden guys are crying and like, oh crap. I think they were packing it up and they discovered and they said, oh crap. And they did decide to turn it in. So look, that's the right thing to do. Sure, but I don't think this was orchestrated at all. I think this hurts them profoundly. Okay, So where were these documents. They were at an organization that is entitled the Biden Center for Diplomacy and Global Engagement at the University of Pennsylvania. Now, what is the Biden Center for Diplomacy and Global Engagement, among other things? In an institution that has received fifty four point six million dollars in donations from communist China. So I want you to think about this, Hunter Biden is out doing business with China, making millions of dollars. He's earning of dollars and loans on top of that ten percent for the big guy. That big guy would be Joe Biden the president right now. And at the same time, China is giving fifty four point six million dollars to the Joseph Biden Center at the University of Pennsylvania. And it just so happens this center that is being funded and very significant part by communists, China has classified documents there illegally. I gotta say, if you're a Democrat, I don't care how machievellen you are. I don't care how much you're like, Okay, I'm trying to think not four dimensional chess, but nine dimensional chess. This is zero dimensional chess. This is just a frigging mess. So the Democrats are not happy about this. But the beauty of it is it illustrates the utter and complete hypocrisy of the press and all the Democrats because if they explain, if they try to dismiss it away, well look, he was vice president. He had lots documents. He at things in there. You know it. It's part of the natural process. Oh wait, wait, this kind of undermines our narrative that Donald Trump is a master spy committing espionage. By the way, you want to know someone who actually committed serious crimes with classified documents. Have you ever heard of Sandy Burger? Yeah, Sandy Burger was Bill Clinton's National security advisor. He went into a classified dance, right, classified skiff, which is so, have you ever been in a skiff? I've not, Okay, I've been in a skiff many times. A skiff is a big secured room with like big heavy metal doors, and it's a skiff is designed so like you can have you can take no electronics in there. So when you go into a skiff, you gotta give your cell phone, you gotta give. I wear a fit bet on my rich you gotta give your fit bet. You gotta give like everything you have no electronics you go in there, and it's designed so the Chinese, so the Russians, so no one can penetrate and do surveillance. It's basically a steel and concrete box. It's a big room Sandy Burger went to a skiff of the National Security Council and he found some classified documents that apparently he found problematic. And what he did you referenced it. He took the documents and stuffed them down his damn pants, literally stuck them down his damn pants, and he walked out of the room and he got caught. Now, listen, if Joe Biden were caught with classified documents in his underwear, that would be a bigger problem. To be clear, I'm not sure, but okay, only because I know the system's rigged. To be clear, we don't necessarily know whether Joe Biden has classified documents in his underwear now or not. I don't think he would know either. But this is a different scenario. And when the Marlaga raid happened, we did a podcast where you and I talked about it, and all of the media was clutching their pearls and saying, oh, my goodness, is the most horrible thing ever. And I made the point. I said, listen, Presidents, when they leave the White House, they go to wherever their next location is, they move a lot of documents out. They are preparing for their presidential library. So if you want a library, the Ben Ferguson Presidential Library, the monument to old Miss Tennis. I love it. See now you're making me think of running one day. Just for that. I'm kissing up to you big time. But look, you take your papers with you. Now do you take the nuclear codes with you? Know? Because you're not a moron, right, But you take a lot of stuff with you because it's your presidency, it's your legacy. It is your legacy. You're looking at writing stuff, you're looking at history, you're looking at creating a library. That's what all presidents do. Now, much of the overheated concern I think about Trump was taking what all presidents do and exploding it. Why I think this news development is so problematic for the mainstream media narrative is, well, if Joe Biden did it, either it's a big deal and throw as ass in jail, which they're not willing to do, or everyone does it and it's not a big deal, which we mean Donald Trump's documents are not actually a big deal. So that's their problem, and so it's why I'm not given to This was a plan to show, look how moral we are. I think they were like, oh, crap op op o, crap o, crap. I think that that was their reaction when they found it. Did the lawyers pack it up? No, of course not. That was my question about the big lie. It's not the big lie. It's usually the little lies to get you in trouble. I don't believe I had a far a boss. It was a very senior lawyer in the government, and when I was a baby lawyer fresh at a law school. He said, Okay, when you're a senior lawyer in the government, often people will come to you and they'll say, okay, so I've got a dead body. Is that a problem? And you're sitting there as the lawyer, what, Yeah, We're not a problem, are you? Where are you out of your frigging mind? Yes, that is a problem. I think what happened here was the same that they had people packing up. They're packing up, they're open a box and they're like, oh, oh wait, this says classified at the top. That's kind of a problem. Let's call somebody. They probably first person they calls, not a lawyer, and they say, okay, we've got a bunch of documents to say classified or top secret or say sci code code. We don't know what they said. We don't know what they were. I do actually believe them when he says I have no idea what they were. Okay, that believe it. But I also believe Joe Biden has no idea what the classified documents are. They showed him yesterday in the Oval office. So absolutely believe there's no idea what was it penned? But somebody found them. Somebody called someone higher up, and at some point someone higher up in the Biden organization said, we had a call lawyer, and they call lawyer and the law layer says, you've got a dead body. What do you mean. Is this a problem? Yes, it's a problem. You got a bunch of classified documents. And so the lawyers said, okay, we're gonna come over, we're gonna look, and we're gonna unpack it. And oh, we have classified documents. And by the way, this is what lawyers do to fix things, is when they discover it, they go call and try to turn it in. So look, I get the sort of media narrative of we want to show the right way to do it. I mean, it's clear it's too perfect. But nobody in their right mind would do this this so complicates If the Biden Department of Justice tries to indict Donald Trump, they will deal with a thousand questions of why are you indicting Trump for doing what Joe Biden literally the exact same thing. Yeah, no, it's so they might say, oh, it's different, it's more, and maybe it's true. But at the end of the day, the broader point that they're trying to criminalize they hate Donald Trump. They don't want him to be elected president. They want him permanently ineligible. They are willing to say that again because I think people may forget this. The whole reason why the FBI, in my opinion, went into Marlago and the Democrats want this and the dj wanted this is because they want to charge him with a crime, so that therefore, if he's charged that crime and convicted that crime, he would be ineligible to run for office. So look, let me be clear, Joe Biden and the elected Democrats in Congress and the Democrats in the White House hate Donald Trump. They loathe him. They think these the embodiment of evil, the deep state that has burrowed into the Department of Justice, the FBI, to the CIA, to the entire alphabet soup of the federal government hates Donald Trump, as we've talked about on this podcast a bunch of times. My most recent book, Justice Corrupted, talks about how the left has weaponized our legal system, how they burrowed into it. By the way, for the folksleist this podcast. If you haven't bought the book, go buy the book Justice Corrupted. It'll walk you through. Look. I revere the Department of Justice. I revere our legal systems, and I am angry that these partisans, starting with Barack Obama and even worse under Joe Biden, have turned them into political weapons to go after their enemies. But the problem is they hate them so much that the ends justify their means. So, for example, one of the things we know about the ridiculous Russia prosecution as there was a senior lawyer at the FBI who fraudulently created a fake document and submitted it to a federal court. He was prosecuted for this. So this this federal lawyer was going after Carter Page, who was a kind of ancillary foreign policy advisor the Trump campaign, and the FBI was investigating Carter Page because he had talked to suspicious Russians. Now you talk to suspicious Russians. That's not unreasonable for the government to say, why are you talking into suspicious Russians. The FBI sent an email to the CIA and said, Hey, is this guy, Carter Page one of your guys source? Yeah? Literally, is this guy one of your guys and working for you? And even to ask that question, they had to have been tipped off by somebody. You might want to check with the CIA because Carter Page may be their guy. And he sends the email, and what does the CIA say? Yes, he's our guy, he's our guy. He's doing this for the United States of America. He is helping us by talking to sketchy Russians. So what does this lawyer for the FBI do. He takes the email from the CIA and he alters it. He creates a fraudulent counterfeit document, and he takes the sentence he was he was a source, and he adds the word not to say he was not a source. Now, let me tell you this, Ben, if you did this in civil litigation, if you took a document, a piece of evidence, you altered it to make it one hundred and eighty percent one hundred and eighty degrees the opposite of what it was, and you submitted it to a federal court, you'd be doing hard time. And someone would be saying, Benjamin, don't bed over for the soap. That's just the simple reality. If I did that, you don't get to create fraudulent documents and submit him to a federal court and get busted and not be held accountable for it. And that's what the deep state was doing. And so when you look at this their degree of loathing for Donald Trump when they went after him, the reason for the Marilaga raid is they hate him so much they wanted to go They wanted to prove him guilty of a crime. But in particularly they want to prove him guilty of a crime that renders him ineligible to run for or be elected president. Now listen, if you're a Democrat, you don't want Donald Trump to be elected. Okay, fine, there's a democratic process. You can go and try to win at the ballot box. But but they're trying to do here has corrupt the justice system. And the day of the Marlaga raid, you and I did a podcast where I said it ain't gonna work if they think some federal Court is gonna say Donald Trump can never be president again. The chances of that success, I believe are zero point zero percent. Maybe true, you have a lot of faith in the system that when you say that there's gonna be good that listen, go, how can you say that when they just they just rated mar Lago. How can you say that when they they made fraudulent documents against Carter Page. How can you say that when the FBI director knew that the Steel dossier was a source document from the Democrat National Committee in Hillary Clinton, and the lawyer was lying to the FBI. You got to understand why people are gonna listen to you, going, how can you have such confidence that this is never gonna happen when we just witnessed all the things I just mentioned. Because at the end of the day, the federal courts have not been thoroughly corrupted. Okay, So there have been hard partisans that are burrowed into the FBI, that are burrowed into the DJ that have correct up to justice. That's why I wrote the last book. Look, I was in two thousand and one. I was what's called an Associate Deputy Attorney General in the US Department of Justice, and the Department of Justice is an institution I respect deeply. It has an incredibly long history of being a political I've said before, I don't want a Republican Department of Justice. I don't want a Democrat Department of Justice. You don't want to right leaning or left leaning. You want a non party that follows the damn law. I want an FBI that follows the damn law. If you're a child predator, the FBI how to catch you, the dog, how to prosecute you. If you're a mobster, if you're if you're a money launderer, if you're a crack dealer, the DOJ, how to go after the FBI go after you. But if you are of the wrong political persuasion, and I don't care if whether that is right leaning or left leaning, it's not the DOJ and FBI's job to go after people on either side. They ought to stay the heck out of it. And I will tell you, with an enormous frequency, I talk to people who are either currently at the FBI of the DOJ, or who are alums of the FBI and DOJ. They come to me, and particularly the current folks, they're really upset because they've spent imagine, Ben, You've spent ten years, twenty years, thirty years devoting your life. You believe in so life mission, the rule of law. You believe in protecting people, you believe in protecting kids. I mean, there are so many heroes that work is these institutions, and they've seen these rabid partisans take over the senior career positions and just corrupt them from within. It's fundamentally wrong. And so listen, were there's some documents that should not have been at Marlago, perhaps, and the judicial process will play out on that. But my point is that's something that every prior president is done that when it comes to the documentary history and the chain of custody of documents from the White House to the former president to the former president's library and often their negotiations the archives. When you think of the chief criminal law enforcement organizations of the United States, the archivists of the United States of America is not high on your list. Yeah, and historically there have been negotiations and discussions back and forth between the archives and former presidents in the libraries, right even libraries, because they want to see this stuff, they want to have this stuff, and there's these debates that happened. I remember when when we were I was going to the Bush Library opening forty three. There was debate both there. We saw each other, Yeah that I didn't actually even know each other very well. That was such a cool thing because, like I was, I got to be a part of that campaign, a part of that administration, and there's history that happened. But I remember the debates even then. There were a lot of things that happened, specifically with the War on Terror Posts nine to eleven that were fought over of could the public have it, could the library have it, could they see it? Could it be in display? Could it be in the in the in the library, you know, so you can look it up. Basically you could go in and see parts of the history. And I remember some of those grand debates because some people thought the archives were being a little bit over zealous and like saying no too often when he's like, look, this is part of the history of my administration. This needs to be on display for the America. Even every foreign president wants to tell that narrative. And they hold on too documents and I will say, listen, in my time in the Senate. I've read a lot of classified documents, and one of the virtues of being the Senate, I haven't had this issue because I don't take classified documents out of a skiff, so there are no classified documents. I gotta pull back the curtains so people understand how this works, because everybody's gonna want to ask a question about to ask you when you become a senator, do they teach you the pro to call of classified documents? Like right away? Do they explain to you they got to stay in the in the in the skiff? Is there a skiff in the Senate side? Where can you talk about that? And then and then what is the protocol for that? Ever? You can't make copy like this is pretty simple, okay. So in the Senate at least, there's a skiff down in the basement of the Capital, so if you're going down there, we go down there fairly regularly for briefings, and there are hearing rooms. So, for example, I spent six years in the Center Arm Services Committee. I'm currently on the Senate Formulations Committee. So we regularly have classified hearings in the skiff, and there's a hearing room and you go in and they have lots of it's actually very funny. They have lots of posters that are sort of scary World War two eras of somebody talked and people died, and they're sort of posters about protect classified information. And you go in and I and Evan, maybe I take my iPhone, I hand it to Gray, who is with me at all times. I handed my iPhone, I handed my AirPods. I don't know if air pods are questionable or not, but I just give them to them anyway, why not? And I give them a fitbit. So you just want no electronics because I don't want the Chinese hearing me. Sure, you go in and you sit. So if it's hearing, you sit in a room and the room is I don't know, thirty feet by fifty feet, so it's sort of like in a hearing room. It's not that bit. It's not huge, but on purpose though, design that way, right. It's down in the basement of the Capitol, and it's designed so that no listening, no penetration of anything. And you'll have testimony. I've been in that room with testimony from the Secretary of State at the head of the CIA, the Attorney General, the Secretary of Defense, or a lot of times you'll have testimony from the Assistant Secretary of State, the Assistant Secretary Defense, and you'll have classified briefings about then, about Ukraine, about Russia, about China. So when people to paint that picture of I remember after nine to eleven, there was a lot of people that testified on public hearings and they would say to the center center, I can give you a close classified briefing on that. I can't say that publicly. I can certainly give you that answer center offline. Basically in the skiffs, that's where this room would come into play. So I've been to dozens, if not probably hundreds of hearings in a skiff where you hear classified information, and with some frequency ethose hearings, you're given classified documents and they'll have all sorts of markings about the level of classification, their lower levels and higher levels of classification, and you could read those documents and my general practices, I'll read them the skiff and I leave them there. There's no issue for me a classified documents because I don't take them out. I come in with nothing and I walk out with nothing, So there's no issue. Now, there are other times where there is, for example, classified reports that for some reason or other someone will say you should read a classified report. So when I was leading the fight against the Nordstream two pipeline from Russia to Germany skipping Ukraine, and I passed twice major sanctions legislation to stop the pipeline and successfully defeated Russia, defeated Putin, there were multiple classified reports about the efforts to build that pipeline. I went to the skiff over and over again, and I would read reports from the CIA, from the DEI, the Director National Intelligence, from different intelligence agents, and I'd breathe the reports and I would learn things. But you can't go and repeat the reports. There was another instance where there no staff member are like, that's literally you and other senators and the heads of the CIA that you could have those discussions. So I usually have a staff member who's a senior staff member who has security clearance, who he or she can come in and read some classified documents. I've got a higher security clearance than any one of my staff. So there's some documents. So sometimes a staff member will be able to read some documents, but the really classified documents I'm the only one who can read, and so it'll vary depends on who's on my staff. In the ten years, it's varied who's been on my staff. I like to have at least one person with a security clearance because it's nice to have a staff member who could read through a bunch of documents in briefly on it, because the volume of it is significant, you know. I remember at one point there was a classified document on UFO sightings and I went in wanting to see, Okay, what does the government know on UFO side. I'm really curious. I've got to say, I've never been to Area fifty one. I'm really bummed. I've been ten years of the Senate, Like, like, how did you get that tour? Like you should sign up for that. So I went in and read it. I'm not going to repeat anything that was in the briefing on UFO sightings. I will just say this. I was incredibly underwhelmed. I was like, all excited, give me, little green men, tell me stuff. I just laughed and I was like, oh, so there's a whole and in the White House, down in the National Security Council, there's a whole skiff the security room is a giant skiff. Many of the confidential briefings are down there. There's a difference between the nuclear codes XB three O two of Yeah, I'm making up numbers. So if the prosecutors are coming to lock me up, I think XB three O two. Maybe isn't that the new COVID variant. Did you see Jimmy Fallon singing about the new COVID variant? It was the most third thing I've ever seen. Dias play a clip from Jimmy Fallon on the Tonight Show, just singing about this variant. There was Alpha, Ben, Delta, Ben, almar Cone, but this latest variant might be the best. It's x BB point one point five. Another brand of Coman nineteen has arrived. It's a new strain, but it isn't the same. Sounds more like Elon Muski's name. Look, I gotta say, Ben, I know Jimmy Fallon, which is a little bit bizarre. I don't feel I don't you and Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. I had no idea that you guys had this connection to each other like that. So it's an interesting dynamic. So I've been in the Senate ten years. When I first got there, every late night host would have senators and national figures on, both Democrats and Republicans. It's one of the ways the world has changed. So when I was a brand new senator, I was on Jay Leno, I was on Jimmy Fallon, I was on Jimmy Kimmel, I was on Stephen Colbert Um. It was part of the job. In the last five years, I don't know of a single one of the late night comics that has had a single Republican on there. They become left wing shills, I will say, of all of them, Fallon was by far the best. Now some of that is because Fallon does the Tonight show. Fallon inherited Jay Leno's audience, and by the way, jay Leno was the first one I went on, and I'm like, when I went on his show after, do you think it's awesome? In my opinion, it was like twenty twenty fourteen, I was branded in the Senate and I'm like walking out going like, holy crap, what am I doing on Jay Leno? Like it was weird, that's a big deal. Yeah, it was. It was bizarre. So Fallon inheritce jay Leno's audience and jay Leno's audiences to night show audience is still much of it is with the American Midwest. It's it's it's red America, Sure, it's it. And so of them. I mean Colbert is viciously left wing. Yes, Um Kimmel has become viciously left wing, total disdain for five our country fallon. Look, the guy probably leans left. But he's pretty. He's pretty. If you had to watch one, that's the one I'd watch. So I will tell you an interesting thing. When when Jay Leno got cut from late night TV, I was a newbie center. I made a phone called you know, I called who Rupert Murdoch away? And I called Rupert Murdoch and I said, Rupert, let me encourage you. Fox should put Jay Leno on late night TV. I actually think it is important for America that comedy matters, that culture matters, that entertainment matters. And Jay Leno. I don't know Jay well. I don't think he's a conservative. I assume he's left of center. But he spent years speaking to the middle of a America. And so what jay Lena would do is he would make fun of both sides. Of the aisle, and not in a vicious, evil or mean wright. He wouldn't be. He wasn't trying to destroy your life. By the way, baking fun of Republicans is fine. I mean you and I make fun of Republicans like if you can't laugh, but it doesn't mean spirited. And when I gotta say, when I pitched it to Rupert, he kind of laughed at me. He thought he did not think it was serious. I still think the country would be better off to have. I think comedy is powerful, yes, and I think and one of the problems, look, I love to laugh. All right. Did I tell you about Game four of the ALCS Astros against the Yankees? No? All right, So Game four of the ALCS was Yankee Stadiums. The Astros had won three games in a row. I went to Yankee Stadium. Okay, that this idea? Remember, yes, but I don't know which story you're going with. But yes, it was really fun to watch them because you were behind the plate and everybody was freaking out on Twitter, which made me laugh. All right. I sat directly behind home plate in the second row, so you're right on the damn TV shot behind home plate. You were close enough you could call the balls and strikes, you could practically smell the umpire's cologne. And let's be clear, I'm behind home plate and Yankee Stadium in a bright orange Houston Astro's jersey. There were more than a few Yankees fans who suggested that I do something anatomically impossible. Yes, most fun I've ever had in my life, because look, you're an Astro's fan. You're sweeping the damn Yankee and you're you're kicking there they are home. Yeah, it's better than almost winning at home that game. Four. Okay, So sitting in front of me was Lauren Michaels, the producer Satturday. He was directly was the front row, directly behind home played, and so kind of midway through the game, I introduced myself to Lauren Michaels and I said, you know, Lauren, I've been watching Saturday Ight live my entire life. And he responded, well, so have I I said, yeah, but I started at four. Yeah, like there's an older guy. I'm a lot younger than Yes, I literally as a little kid grew up. And I did say to him, I don't want to repeat what he said because I think that's probably not fair, but I'll say what I said. I said, you know, Saturday Night Live was a lot funnier before they became so damn political. I like comedy, by the way. I like comedy that makes fun of Republicans or Democrats. There used to be a time when we could laugh. Late night television has been destroyed, but of all of them, it used to be Jay Lenna was the best. Sadly when he was when he was pulled off air, My feudal attempt to convince Rupert Murdock to put him on air didn't succeed, so he was done and Fallon got on it and he was actually was a nice guy. I went on. I did Fallon Show actually on my daughter Caroline's birthday, her eighth birthday was April fourteenth, and it was really cool and we did a fun He had a whole skit set up where he played Donald Trump and it was the middle of the presidential primary. He was calling me and it was it was funny and it was a comedy skit. It was a comedy skit and he wasn't a jerk. So if you watch this skit that we just played, the segment from where Fallon is like singing about the latest variant of COVID nineteen. My god, late night comedy is dead. It's been destroyed, like if you are a propagandist for doctor Fauci and for At one point he says, you know, make short away a mask and indoor facilities, and mind you, Jimmy, Fallon's not wearing a mask. None of his staff's wearing a mask. None of the band is wearing a mask. But you know what when I did the view the day after the Yankees game, Yeah, you know who's wearing a mask? Who every single member of the audience. They were trying to protect you, sir kay. None of the crew of the view, none of the host, Whoopie Goldberg, wasn't wearing a mask. But they made every single audience member word and look. I wish we could laugh. I wish culture wasn't so political. I wish late night comedy. And by the way, let let me give you an example of what I think is fabulous comedy. And this may get me in trouble with some people. One of my favorite movies. You ever see the movie Team America. Oh yes, Team America, World Police. Now listen, it is raunchy as all get out. I'm gonna I'm gonna admit an embarrassing thing. So I love Team America. I took Heidi. Heidi doesn't like movies as much. She almost fell out of the chair laughing so hard. We did a family vacation with Heide's parents and we brought a DVD. This was a while ago, so it was back when DVDs existed. We brought a DVD of Tea Americans. It was so funny, and we're playing it to Heide's parents and I guess I forgot just how profane the movie is. I'm remembering it now vaguely, and I do remember. It was like a lot of curse works and a lot of politically incorrect line but hilarious. Every third word is an F bomb. Yeah. And so we're sitting there watching it with their parents and Heidi at our newlyweds and her parents literally were in a houseboat on Lake Powell out in the middle of the wilderness, and Heidi's parents literally got up and left because it was so it's funny. But I was like, Okay, I'm sorry. I feel really bad. I didn't mean inflict this on my mother In law. Yeah, but look, Team America. It is a movie that it ridicules Republicans. Yes, but it ridicules democrats. That's actually good comedy. Yeah, good with that. At least it's at least it's every equal opportunity offender Today Late Night Comedy Today SNL is all about being a political mouthpiece and it's not about actually, I give you telling jokes. Jerry Seinfeld say, he doesn't just stand up anymore because, yeah, but Bill Burr, I don't know if you know who Bill, I know who he is. I don't know him. I think he's very funny, hysterical, and if you listen to him, he goes after both sides. He was in Houston and we went and I laugh because I we went with friends, and my wife is the I call it the um, the more judgy one, if that makes sense. I was like, look, I'm gonna laugh my tail off, but if you're next to me, I'm not gonna have as much fun. So you're gonna sit two seats down. I'm gonna sit next to my buddy, and the girls can sit together and the guys can sit together. And so she's three seats away. Just so I knew I could have a good time. And finally, about twenty five minutes in, I looked down and she's dying last thing, and I looked at it. I was like, you can't judge me now. You can't judge me now. But my point is he was an equal opportunity offender. If you listen to his comedy, he'll attack the pets. Great, and that's what we wish. I love George Carlin. Now listen. George Carlin probably would agree with almost nothing that we agree. Although I say this, George Carlin was an old school liberal, so he believed in a free speech. Yes, today's Democrat party that was no censor everyone they would hate George Carlin. So I kind of hope, and maybe I'm deluding myself that Carlin would appreciate the free speech ethos and and I've got a pretty strong libertarian sentiment. But Carlin is funny as all get out. You go back to Bush, and I love where this podcast has gone tonight. This is really fun. You go back to Bush and they were just relentless. I'm beating up on Bush forty three in late night. Yeah, but some of it was funny, Like it was even talked about at the White House the next day. Obama, they broke it. Yes, Obama, they broke it because they couldn't make fun of of of who they thought was the chosen one, right and say, well, they were so terrified. It's where Late night Comedy look SNEL has some of the great Chevy Chase brilliant playing Gerald Ford falling down. And by the way, Gerald Ford is probably the best athlete to ever be President of the United States. He was All American University of Michigan football player. I didn't know that. I really I didn't know he was a serious like that. I don't believe there's ever been another All American athlete. He was a legit athlete college that like like like the real deal, and Chevy Chase fell off of ladders, fell down, and the entire country thought of Gerald Ford as a klutz and an oath because of Saturday Night Live. You look how if you were if you go back in the night Saturday A Live and you look at the gaffs from Biden. Now we'll play a gaff from today. Great example, let's go back to what we're talking about classified documents. Let's play this. And I thought he was really on point because I think his staff prepped him and said, hey, your response these classified documents is incredibly important. You nailed this, but even at the end he couldn't hold it together very end dies it play? First, Let me get rid of the easy one first. People know I take classified documents a classifying information seriously. When my lawyers were clearing out my office at the University of Pennsylvania, they set up an office for me, secure office in the capitol. When the four years after being vice president as a profession at penn they found some documents in a box in a locked cabinet or at least a closet, And as soon as they did, they realized there were several classified documents in that box, and they did what they should have done. They immediately called the archives. Immediately call the archives, turned them over to the Archives. And I was briefed about this discovery and surprised and learned if there are any government records that were taken there to that office. But I don't know what's in the documents. I've my lawyers have not suggested. I asked what documents they were. I've turned over the boxes. They've turned over the boxes to the archives and we're cooperating fully, co operating fully with the review and which I hope will be finished soon and it will be more detail at that time. The first question, now I forgot, He's like he nailed it, and then but my point is, sati question I forgot, And he says, first of all, at the beginning, if you're listening us, first of all, first thing, and then he doesn't even remember. The first thing was, which is what you just did? How Saturday Night would have had the time of their lives at this moment. But they will not criticize them this week. No one in Late Night's going to criticize them for that. I don't think to do yet. They'll gently pop Biden for being old and senile. I'll give you to do that. Well yeah, okay, barely, but not this one. They won't. But okay, Obama, he did nothing wrong. And you look back from Chevy Chase, torontod Reagan, who they viciously destroyed, to to to Bush forty one. Dana Carvey, you remember you used to go Nagada, Nagata. In fact, it was one of the funniest things. After Bush was defeated, he went on Saturday I think it was Saturday Night Live or maybe his letterman, I remember what I'm gonna do it. He was talking and and Bush forty one said said said to Dana Carvey, Nagata, what is that? I don't say dot dot. It was funny. By the way, remember Dana Carvey not only played Bush forty one, he also played Rossi perro yea diet second sound from the South Giants second sound. It was ridiculously funny. You look at Will Farrell as George W. Bush. Amazing side splittingly funny. The entire history of SNL mocking politicians. All Right, Sarah Palin, I can see Russia from my porch, do you know? Never said that, never said it, but everybody I thought so. I'm willing to bet of our listeners and listen, our listeners on this podcast are smart, they're engaged, they're politically involved. I'd be willing to bet ninety percent of our listeners believe Sarah Palin said I can see Russia from our house, because almost everybody does. She never said those words. Where did those words come from? They were Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin on Saturday at Lives, and it was brilliant. I can see Russia from my house, and I got to admit, look, I consider Sarah a friend. I laughed because it was amazing. It was it was ridiculously funny. Comedy has been destroyed because a they won't make fun of the left, be their relentless partisans attacking anyone on the right. And see they're now willing to be shills for the authoritarian state. And so when I hear Jimmy Fallons saying about the latest COVID variant, it makes me sad. It makes me sad for the death of comedy. Yeah, because now it's propaganda. It's so your comedy, and it's like the thirteenth strike of a clock. It destroys any credibility. A comedian ought to have the integrity to say I'm going to speak truth to power and not speak power to truth. Yeah, I agree with you. There last question, back to the documents for a moment this comes out, you hear Biden, we just play that clip him trying to clean it up. Is there anything that really happens with this number one j I'll ignore it, okay. And and how big of a saving you believe this is significant? Though for Donald Trump? Not in the legal sense, but in the public opinion debate sense, it becomes it's why I sent the forward tweet convene a grand jury. I actually don't think we should convene a grand jury. So that tweet was not that was to make them defend it. It was to hypocrisy prompt them to give the reasons why that shouldn't happen, and president is everything. I do think the public narrative has become infinitely complicated by the fact that Joe Biden not only did the same thing, but did the same thing at a center that received over fifty million dollars from communist China that is literally being paid for by the Chinese communists. If you think of places to store secure classified documents, places being funded by the Chinese communist perhaps we shouldn't be on the top of your list. Yeah, just promise me, if there's ever hearing about this, you will ask what's the hourly rate for lawyers to move people? I just have to know that. I gotta know what moving coming like, did you did you hire that happens to be lawyers? I gotta know that question. Well, if you need to move your house, I'm gonna tell you right now. I ain't gonna do it, and I'm not, and there it is. We'll leave it at that, Senator. It's pleasure we're here in DC together. It's always fun to be in the nation's capital with you. We will see all of you guys back here on two days, so make sure you grab our podcasts then and don't forget hit the subscribe button, the auto downlotle button. You'll get the podcast automatically for free every time we publish, and you never know when those extra episodes are gonna pop up, so you don't want to miss those. We'll see you back here. Have a great week, my friends.
Welcome it's verdict to a center. Ted Cruz, Ben Ferguson with you. And if you are excited that Joe Biden might be going to prison for classified documents found in an office, well you've got to be disappointed. I just, senator, is this whole story? I'll give you my theory. I think that they have set this up to say, look at how you should handle this. This will be used as precedent to then say Donald Trump, as a horrible person, deserves to be indicted and even go to jail for this. This has been done too perfectly. And I'll ask you, as a former i'd say former lawyer, practicing lawyer, when was the last time you hired a lawyer to move your office like a as a mover. And he's like, oh, my lawyers were packing up an office, an old office. I don't buy that for a second. Well, to be fair, my wife Heidi has used me to move office more than once, but that's more a matrimonial thing. Get a professional. Yeah. Look, let me start out by saying, when this news broke, I immediately jumped on Twitter and tweeted a very simple tweet, convene a grand Jury's like it now I don't actually mean convene a grand jury. But the reason I tweeted it is because if you're a leftist, if you're a journalist, if you're a Democrat, if you're an operative, if you're one of the gazillion Twitter trolls that are out there, and you see that convene a grand jury, make your head explode. So you've got to say, no, f and wait, do not convene a grand jury because and I really wanted to hear the becauses. I really wanted to hear why Lefty's explaining why we should not convene a grand jury and listen, this episode I think demonstrates absolute and complete hypocrisy. This episode demonstrates one of the things that you and I said on this podcast when the Marlaga raid happened, when the media was hyper ventilating over Oh my goodness, there were documents and Trump's archives. Every president of modern times has had documents, and there's been an ongoing back and forth. When presidents leave, they take documents, They write autobiographies, they write memoirs, they write books. This has been true with George W. Bush, This has been true with Bill Clinton. This has been true with Barack Obama, and you know what, this is true with Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. The problem here, so you suggested they're doing this is like a it's just too perfect. This story is too perfect. My lawyers are packing at my office. We then contacted the authorities immediately. We then went to the DJ We followed the protocol. We let them have them within twenty four hours. It's too perfect. Okay, So I don't agree with you, all right, then, please explain to me what I'm missing. Look, I don't think it's perfect. I think the Biden guys are crying and like, oh crap. I think they were packing it up and they discovered and they said, oh crap. And they did decide to turn it in. So look, that's the right thing to do. Sure, but I don't think this was orchestrated at all. I think this hurts them profoundly. Okay, So where were these documents. They were at an organization that is entitled the Biden Center for Diplomacy and Global Engagement at the University of Pennsylvania. Now, what is the Biden Center for Diplomacy and Global Engagement, among other things? In an institution that has received fifty four point six million dollars in donations from communist China. So I want you to think about this, Hunter Biden is out doing business with China, making millions of dollars. He's earning of dollars and loans on top of that ten percent for the big guy. That big guy would be Joe Biden the president right now. And at the same time, China is giving fifty four point six million dollars to the Joseph Biden Center at the University of Pennsylvania. And it just so happens this center that is being funded and very significant part by communists, China has classified documents there illegally. I gotta say, if you're a Democrat, I don't care how machievellen you are. I don't care how much you're like, Okay, I'm trying to think not four dimensional chess, but nine dimensional chess. This is zero dimensional chess. This is just a frigging mess. So the Democrats are not happy about this. But the beauty of it is it illustrates the utter and complete hypocrisy of the press and all the Democrats because if they explain, if they try to dismiss it away, well look, he was vice president. He had lots documents. He at things in there. You know it. It's part of the natural process. Oh wait, wait, this kind of undermines our narrative that Donald Trump is a master spy committing espionage. By the way, you want to know someone who actually committed serious crimes with classified documents. Have you ever heard of Sandy Burger? Yeah, Sandy Burger was Bill Clinton's National security advisor. He went into a classified dance, right, classified skiff, which is so, have you ever been in a skiff? I've not, Okay, I've been in a skiff many times. A skiff is a big secured room with like big heavy metal doors, and it's a skiff is designed so like you can have you can take no electronics in there. So when you go into a skiff, you gotta give your cell phone, you gotta give. I wear a fit bet on my rich you gotta give your fit bet. You gotta give like everything you have no electronics you go in there, and it's designed so the Chinese, so the Russians, so no one can penetrate and do surveillance. It's basically a steel and concrete box. It's a big room Sandy Burger went to a skiff of the National Security Council and he found some classified documents that apparently he found problematic. And what he did you referenced it. He took the documents and stuffed them down his damn pants, literally stuck them down his damn pants, and he walked out of the room and he got caught. Now, listen, if Joe Biden were caught with classified documents in his underwear, that would be a bigger problem. To be clear, I'm not sure, but okay, only because I know the system's rigged. To be clear, we don't necessarily know whether Joe Biden has classified documents in his underwear now or not. I don't think he would know either. But this is a different scenario. And when the Marlaga raid happened, we did a podcast where you and I talked about it, and all of the media was clutching their pearls and saying, oh, my goodness, is the most horrible thing ever. And I made the point. I said, listen, Presidents, when they leave the White House, they go to wherever their next location is, they move a lot of documents out. They are preparing for their presidential library. So if you want a library, the Ben Ferguson Presidential Library, the monument to old Miss Tennis. I love it. See now you're making me think of running one day. Just for that. I'm kissing up to you big time. But look, you take your papers with you. Now do you take the nuclear codes with you? Know? Because you're not a moron, right, But you take a lot of stuff with you because it's your presidency, it's your legacy. It is your legacy. You're looking at writing stuff, you're looking at history, you're looking at creating a library. That's what all presidents do. Now, much of the overheated concern I think about Trump was taking what all presidents do and exploding it. Why I think this news development is so problematic for the mainstream media narrative is, well, if Joe Biden did it, either it's a big deal and throw as ass in jail, which they're not willing to do, or everyone does it and it's not a big deal, which we mean Donald Trump's documents are not actually a big deal. So that's their problem, and so it's why I'm not given to This was a plan to show, look how moral we are. I think they were like, oh, crap op op o, crap o, crap. I think that that was their reaction when they found it. Did the lawyers pack it up? No, of course not. That was my question about the big lie. It's not the big lie. It's usually the little lies to get you in trouble. I don't believe I had a far a boss. It was a very senior lawyer in the government, and when I was a baby lawyer fresh at a law school. He said, Okay, when you're a senior lawyer in the government, often people will come to you and they'll say, okay, so I've got a dead body. Is that a problem? And you're sitting there as the lawyer, what, Yeah, We're not a problem, are you? Where are you out of your frigging mind? Yes, that is a problem. I think what happened here was the same that they had people packing up. They're packing up, they're open a box and they're like, oh, oh wait, this says classified at the top. That's kind of a problem. Let's call somebody. They probably first person they calls, not a lawyer, and they say, okay, we've got a bunch of documents to say classified or top secret or say sci code code. We don't know what they said. We don't know what they were. I do actually believe them when he says I have no idea what they were. Okay, that believe it. But I also believe Joe Biden has no idea what the classified documents are. They showed him yesterday in the Oval office. So absolutely believe there's no idea what was it penned? But somebody found them. Somebody called someone higher up, and at some point someone higher up in the Biden organization said, we had a call lawyer, and they call lawyer and the law layer says, you've got a dead body. What do you mean. Is this a problem? Yes, it's a problem. You got a bunch of classified documents. And so the lawyers said, okay, we're gonna come over, we're gonna look, and we're gonna unpack it. And oh, we have classified documents. And by the way, this is what lawyers do to fix things, is when they discover it, they go call and try to turn it in. So look, I get the sort of media narrative of we want to show the right way to do it. I mean, it's clear it's too perfect. But nobody in their right mind would do this this so complicates If the Biden Department of Justice tries to indict Donald Trump, they will deal with a thousand questions of why are you indicting Trump for doing what Joe Biden literally the exact same thing. Yeah, no, it's so they might say, oh, it's different, it's more, and maybe it's true. But at the end of the day, the broader point that they're trying to criminalize they hate Donald Trump. They don't want him to be elected president. They want him permanently ineligible. They are willing to say that again because I think people may forget this. The whole reason why the FBI, in my opinion, went into Marlago and the Democrats want this and the dj wanted this is because they want to charge him with a crime, so that therefore, if he's charged that crime and convicted that crime, he would be ineligible to run for office. So look, let me be clear, Joe Biden and the elected Democrats in Congress and the Democrats in the White House hate Donald Trump. They loathe him. They think these the embodiment of evil, the deep state that has burrowed into the Department of Justice, the FBI, to the CIA, to the entire alphabet soup of the federal government hates Donald Trump, as we've talked about on this podcast a bunch of times. My most recent book, Justice Corrupted, talks about how the left has weaponized our legal system, how they burrowed into it. By the way, for the folksleist this podcast. If you haven't bought the book, go buy the book Justice Corrupted. It'll walk you through. Look. I revere the Department of Justice. I revere our legal systems, and I am angry that these partisans, starting with Barack Obama and even worse under Joe Biden, have turned them into political weapons to go after their enemies. But the problem is they hate them so much that the ends justify their means. So, for example, one of the things we know about the ridiculous Russia prosecution as there was a senior lawyer at the FBI who fraudulently created a fake document and submitted it to a federal court. He was prosecuted for this. So this this federal lawyer was going after Carter Page, who was a kind of ancillary foreign policy advisor the Trump campaign, and the FBI was investigating Carter Page because he had talked to suspicious Russians. Now you talk to suspicious Russians. That's not unreasonable for the government to say, why are you talking into suspicious Russians. The FBI sent an email to the CIA and said, Hey, is this guy, Carter Page one of your guys source? Yeah? Literally, is this guy one of your guys and working for you? And even to ask that question, they had to have been tipped off by somebody. You might want to check with the CIA because Carter Page may be their guy. And he sends the email, and what does the CIA say? Yes, he's our guy, he's our guy. He's doing this for the United States of America. He is helping us by talking to sketchy Russians. So what does this lawyer for the FBI do. He takes the email from the CIA and he alters it. He creates a fraudulent counterfeit document, and he takes the sentence he was he was a source, and he adds the word not to say he was not a source. Now, let me tell you this, Ben, if you did this in civil litigation, if you took a document, a piece of evidence, you altered it to make it one hundred and eighty percent one hundred and eighty degrees the opposite of what it was, and you submitted it to a federal court, you'd be doing hard time. And someone would be saying, Benjamin, don't bed over for the soap. That's just the simple reality. If I did that, you don't get to create fraudulent documents and submit him to a federal court and get busted and not be held accountable for it. And that's what the deep state was doing. And so when you look at this their degree of loathing for Donald Trump when they went after him, the reason for the Marilaga raid is they hate him so much they wanted to go They wanted to prove him guilty of a crime. But in particularly they want to prove him guilty of a crime that renders him ineligible to run for or be elected president. Now listen, if you're a Democrat, you don't want Donald Trump to be elected. Okay, fine, there's a democratic process. You can go and try to win at the ballot box. But but they're trying to do here has corrupt the justice system. And the day of the Marlaga raid, you and I did a podcast where I said it ain't gonna work if they think some federal Court is gonna say Donald Trump can never be president again. The chances of that success, I believe are zero point zero percent. Maybe true, you have a lot of faith in the system that when you say that there's gonna be good that listen, go, how can you say that when they just they just rated mar Lago. How can you say that when they they made fraudulent documents against Carter Page. How can you say that when the FBI director knew that the Steel dossier was a source document from the Democrat National Committee in Hillary Clinton, and the lawyer was lying to the FBI. You got to understand why people are gonna listen to you, going, how can you have such confidence that this is never gonna happen when we just witnessed all the things I just mentioned. Because at the end of the day, the federal courts have not been thoroughly corrupted. Okay, So there have been hard partisans that are burrowed into the FBI, that are burrowed into the DJ that have correct up to justice. That's why I wrote the last book. Look, I was in two thousand and one. I was what's called an Associate Deputy Attorney General in the US Department of Justice, and the Department of Justice is an institution I respect deeply. It has an incredibly long history of being a political I've said before, I don't want a Republican Department of Justice. I don't want a Democrat Department of Justice. You don't want to right leaning or left leaning. You want a non party that follows the damn law. I want an FBI that follows the damn law. If you're a child predator, the FBI how to catch you, the dog, how to prosecute you. If you're a mobster, if you're if you're a money launderer, if you're a crack dealer, the DOJ, how to go after the FBI go after you. But if you are of the wrong political persuasion, and I don't care if whether that is right leaning or left leaning, it's not the DOJ and FBI's job to go after people on either side. They ought to stay the heck out of it. And I will tell you, with an enormous frequency, I talk to people who are either currently at the FBI of the DOJ, or who are alums of the FBI and DOJ. They come to me, and particularly the current folks, they're really upset because they've spent imagine, Ben, You've spent ten years, twenty years, thirty years devoting your life. You believe in so life mission, the rule of law. You believe in protecting people, you believe in protecting kids. I mean, there are so many heroes that work is these institutions, and they've seen these rabid partisans take over the senior career positions and just corrupt them from within. It's fundamentally wrong. And so listen, were there's some documents that should not have been at Marlago, perhaps, and the judicial process will play out on that. But my point is that's something that every prior president is done that when it comes to the documentary history and the chain of custody of documents from the White House to the former president to the former president's library and often their negotiations the archives. When you think of the chief criminal law enforcement organizations of the United States, the archivists of the United States of America is not high on your list. Yeah, and historically there have been negotiations and discussions back and forth between the archives and former presidents in the libraries, right even libraries, because they want to see this stuff, they want to have this stuff, and there's these debates that happened. I remember when when we were I was going to the Bush Library opening forty three. There was debate both there. We saw each other, Yeah that I didn't actually even know each other very well. That was such a cool thing because, like I was, I got to be a part of that campaign, a part of that administration, and there's history that happened. But I remember the debates even then. There were a lot of things that happened, specifically with the War on Terror Posts nine to eleven that were fought over of could the public have it, could the library have it, could they see it? Could it be in display? Could it be in the in the in the library, you know, so you can look it up. Basically you could go in and see parts of the history. And I remember some of those grand debates because some people thought the archives were being a little bit over zealous and like saying no too often when he's like, look, this is part of the history of my administration. This needs to be on display for the America. Even every foreign president wants to tell that narrative. And they hold on too documents and I will say, listen, in my time in the Senate. I've read a lot of classified documents, and one of the virtues of being the Senate, I haven't had this issue because I don't take classified documents out of a skiff, so there are no classified documents. I gotta pull back the curtains so people understand how this works, because everybody's gonna want to ask a question about to ask you when you become a senator, do they teach you the pro to call of classified documents? Like right away? Do they explain to you they got to stay in the in the in the skiff? Is there a skiff in the Senate side? Where can you talk about that? And then and then what is the protocol for that? Ever? You can't make copy like this is pretty simple, okay. So in the Senate at least, there's a skiff down in the basement of the Capital, so if you're going down there, we go down there fairly regularly for briefings, and there are hearing rooms. So, for example, I spent six years in the Center Arm Services Committee. I'm currently on the Senate Formulations Committee. So we regularly have classified hearings in the skiff, and there's a hearing room and you go in and they have lots of it's actually very funny. They have lots of posters that are sort of scary World War two eras of somebody talked and people died, and they're sort of posters about protect classified information. And you go in and I and Evan, maybe I take my iPhone, I hand it to Gray, who is with me at all times. I handed my iPhone, I handed my AirPods. I don't know if air pods are questionable or not, but I just give them to them anyway, why not? And I give them a fitbit. So you just want no electronics because I don't want the Chinese hearing me. Sure, you go in and you sit. So if it's hearing, you sit in a room and the room is I don't know, thirty feet by fifty feet, so it's sort of like in a hearing room. It's not that bit. It's not huge, but on purpose though, design that way, right. It's down in the basement of the Capitol, and it's designed so that no listening, no penetration of anything. And you'll have testimony. I've been in that room with testimony from the Secretary of State at the head of the CIA, the Attorney General, the Secretary of Defense, or a lot of times you'll have testimony from the Assistant Secretary of State, the Assistant Secretary Defense, and you'll have classified briefings about then, about Ukraine, about Russia, about China. So when people to paint that picture of I remember after nine to eleven, there was a lot of people that testified on public hearings and they would say to the center center, I can give you a close classified briefing on that. I can't say that publicly. I can certainly give you that answer center offline. Basically in the skiffs, that's where this room would come into play. So I've been to dozens, if not probably hundreds of hearings in a skiff where you hear classified information, and with some frequency ethose hearings, you're given classified documents and they'll have all sorts of markings about the level of classification, their lower levels and higher levels of classification, and you could read those documents and my general practices, I'll read them the skiff and I leave them there. There's no issue for me a classified documents because I don't take them out. I come in with nothing and I walk out with nothing, So there's no issue. Now, there are other times where there is, for example, classified reports that for some reason or other someone will say you should read a classified report. So when I was leading the fight against the Nordstream two pipeline from Russia to Germany skipping Ukraine, and I passed twice major sanctions legislation to stop the pipeline and successfully defeated Russia, defeated Putin, there were multiple classified reports about the efforts to build that pipeline. I went to the skiff over and over again, and I would read reports from the CIA, from the DEI, the Director National Intelligence, from different intelligence agents, and I'd breathe the reports and I would learn things. But you can't go and repeat the reports. There was another instance where there no staff member are like, that's literally you and other senators and the heads of the CIA that you could have those discussions. So I usually have a staff member who's a senior staff member who has security clearance, who he or she can come in and read some classified documents. I've got a higher security clearance than any one of my staff. So there's some documents. So sometimes a staff member will be able to read some documents, but the really classified documents I'm the only one who can read, and so it'll vary depends on who's on my staff. In the ten years, it's varied who's been on my staff. I like to have at least one person with a security clearance because it's nice to have a staff member who could read through a bunch of documents in briefly on it, because the volume of it is significant, you know. I remember at one point there was a classified document on UFO sightings and I went in wanting to see, Okay, what does the government know on UFO side. I'm really curious. I've got to say, I've never been to Area fifty one. I'm really bummed. I've been ten years of the Senate, Like, like, how did you get that tour? Like you should sign up for that. So I went in and read it. I'm not going to repeat anything that was in the briefing on UFO sightings. I will just say this. I was incredibly underwhelmed. I was like, all excited, give me, little green men, tell me stuff. I just laughed and I was like, oh, so there's a whole and in the White House, down in the National Security Council, there's a whole skiff the security room is a giant skiff. Many of the confidential briefings are down there. There's a difference between the nuclear codes XB three O two of Yeah, I'm making up numbers. So if the prosecutors are coming to lock me up, I think XB three O two. Maybe isn't that the new COVID variant. Did you see Jimmy Fallon singing about the new COVID variant? It was the most third thing I've ever seen. Dias play a clip from Jimmy Fallon on the Tonight Show, just singing about this variant. There was Alpha, Ben, Delta, Ben, almar Cone, but this latest variant might be the best. It's x BB point one point five. Another brand of Coman nineteen has arrived. It's a new strain, but it isn't the same. Sounds more like Elon Muski's name. Look, I gotta say, Ben, I know Jimmy Fallon, which is a little bit bizarre. I don't feel I don't you and Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. I had no idea that you guys had this connection to each other like that. So it's an interesting dynamic. So I've been in the Senate ten years. When I first got there, every late night host would have senators and national figures on, both Democrats and Republicans. It's one of the ways the world has changed. So when I was a brand new senator, I was on Jay Leno, I was on Jimmy Fallon, I was on Jimmy Kimmel, I was on Stephen Colbert Um. It was part of the job. In the last five years, I don't know of a single one of the late night comics that has had a single Republican on there. They become left wing shills, I will say, of all of them, Fallon was by far the best. Now some of that is because Fallon does the Tonight show. Fallon inherited Jay Leno's audience, and by the way, jay Leno was the first one I went on, and I'm like, when I went on his show after, do you think it's awesome? In my opinion, it was like twenty twenty fourteen, I was branded in the Senate and I'm like walking out going like, holy crap, what am I doing on Jay Leno? Like it was weird, that's a big deal. Yeah, it was. It was bizarre. So Fallon inheritce jay Leno's audience and jay Leno's audiences to night show audience is still much of it is with the American Midwest. It's it's it's red America, Sure, it's it. And so of them. I mean Colbert is viciously left wing. Yes, Um Kimmel has become viciously left wing, total disdain for five our country fallon. Look, the guy probably leans left. But he's pretty. He's pretty. If you had to watch one, that's the one I'd watch. So I will tell you an interesting thing. When when Jay Leno got cut from late night TV, I was a newbie center. I made a phone called you know, I called who Rupert Murdoch away? And I called Rupert Murdoch and I said, Rupert, let me encourage you. Fox should put Jay Leno on late night TV. I actually think it is important for America that comedy matters, that culture matters, that entertainment matters. And Jay Leno. I don't know Jay well. I don't think he's a conservative. I assume he's left of center. But he spent years speaking to the middle of a America. And so what jay Lena would do is he would make fun of both sides. Of the aisle, and not in a vicious, evil or mean wright. He wouldn't be. He wasn't trying to destroy your life. By the way, baking fun of Republicans is fine. I mean you and I make fun of Republicans like if you can't laugh, but it doesn't mean spirited. And when I gotta say, when I pitched it to Rupert, he kind of laughed at me. He thought he did not think it was serious. I still think the country would be better off to have. I think comedy is powerful, yes, and I think and one of the problems, look, I love to laugh. All right. Did I tell you about Game four of the ALCS Astros against the Yankees? No? All right, So Game four of the ALCS was Yankee Stadiums. The Astros had won three games in a row. I went to Yankee Stadium. Okay, that this idea? Remember, yes, but I don't know which story you're going with. But yes, it was really fun to watch them because you were behind the plate and everybody was freaking out on Twitter, which made me laugh. All right. I sat directly behind home plate in the second row, so you're right on the damn TV shot behind home plate. You were close enough you could call the balls and strikes, you could practically smell the umpire's cologne. And let's be clear, I'm behind home plate and Yankee Stadium in a bright orange Houston Astro's jersey. There were more than a few Yankees fans who suggested that I do something anatomically impossible. Yes, most fun I've ever had in my life, because look, you're an Astro's fan. You're sweeping the damn Yankee and you're you're kicking there they are home. Yeah, it's better than almost winning at home that game. Four. Okay, So sitting in front of me was Lauren Michaels, the producer Satturday. He was directly was the front row, directly behind home played, and so kind of midway through the game, I introduced myself to Lauren Michaels and I said, you know, Lauren, I've been watching Saturday Ight live my entire life. And he responded, well, so have I I said, yeah, but I started at four. Yeah, like there's an older guy. I'm a lot younger than Yes, I literally as a little kid grew up. And I did say to him, I don't want to repeat what he said because I think that's probably not fair, but I'll say what I said. I said, you know, Saturday Night Live was a lot funnier before they became so damn political. I like comedy, by the way. I like comedy that makes fun of Republicans or Democrats. There used to be a time when we could laugh. Late night television has been destroyed, but of all of them, it used to be Jay Lenna was the best. Sadly when he was when he was pulled off air, My feudal attempt to convince Rupert Murdock to put him on air didn't succeed, so he was done and Fallon got on it and he was actually was a nice guy. I went on. I did Fallon Show actually on my daughter Caroline's birthday, her eighth birthday was April fourteenth, and it was really cool and we did a fun He had a whole skit set up where he played Donald Trump and it was the middle of the presidential primary. He was calling me and it was it was funny and it was a comedy skit. It was a comedy skit and he wasn't a jerk. So if you watch this skit that we just played, the segment from where Fallon is like singing about the latest variant of COVID nineteen. My god, late night comedy is dead. It's been destroyed, like if you are a propagandist for doctor Fauci and for At one point he says, you know, make short away a mask and indoor facilities, and mind you, Jimmy, Fallon's not wearing a mask. None of his staff's wearing a mask. None of the band is wearing a mask. But you know what when I did the view the day after the Yankees game, Yeah, you know who's wearing a mask? Who every single member of the audience. They were trying to protect you, sir kay. None of the crew of the view, none of the host, Whoopie Goldberg, wasn't wearing a mask. But they made every single audience member word and look. I wish we could laugh. I wish culture wasn't so political. I wish late night comedy. And by the way, let let me give you an example of what I think is fabulous comedy. And this may get me in trouble with some people. One of my favorite movies. You ever see the movie Team America. Oh yes, Team America, World Police. Now listen, it is raunchy as all get out. I'm gonna I'm gonna admit an embarrassing thing. So I love Team America. I took Heidi. Heidi doesn't like movies as much. She almost fell out of the chair laughing so hard. We did a family vacation with Heide's parents and we brought a DVD. This was a while ago, so it was back when DVDs existed. We brought a DVD of Tea Americans. It was so funny, and we're playing it to Heide's parents and I guess I forgot just how profane the movie is. I'm remembering it now vaguely, and I do remember. It was like a lot of curse works and a lot of politically incorrect line but hilarious. Every third word is an F bomb. Yeah. And so we're sitting there watching it with their parents and Heidi at our newlyweds and her parents literally were in a houseboat on Lake Powell out in the middle of the wilderness, and Heidi's parents literally got up and left because it was so it's funny. But I was like, Okay, I'm sorry. I feel really bad. I didn't mean inflict this on my mother In law. Yeah, but look, Team America. It is a movie that it ridicules Republicans. Yes, but it ridicules democrats. That's actually good comedy. Yeah, good with that. At least it's at least it's every equal opportunity offender Today Late Night Comedy Today SNL is all about being a political mouthpiece and it's not about actually, I give you telling jokes. Jerry Seinfeld say, he doesn't just stand up anymore because, yeah, but Bill Burr, I don't know if you know who Bill, I know who he is. I don't know him. I think he's very funny, hysterical, and if you listen to him, he goes after both sides. He was in Houston and we went and I laugh because I we went with friends, and my wife is the I call it the um, the more judgy one, if that makes sense. I was like, look, I'm gonna laugh my tail off, but if you're next to me, I'm not gonna have as much fun. So you're gonna sit two seats down. I'm gonna sit next to my buddy, and the girls can sit together and the guys can sit together. And so she's three seats away. Just so I knew I could have a good time. And finally, about twenty five minutes in, I looked down and she's dying last thing, and I looked at it. I was like, you can't judge me now. You can't judge me now. But my point is he was an equal opportunity offender. If you listen to his comedy, he'll attack the pets. Great, and that's what we wish. I love George Carlin. Now listen. George Carlin probably would agree with almost nothing that we agree. Although I say this, George Carlin was an old school liberal, so he believed in a free speech. Yes, today's Democrat party that was no censor everyone they would hate George Carlin. So I kind of hope, and maybe I'm deluding myself that Carlin would appreciate the free speech ethos and and I've got a pretty strong libertarian sentiment. But Carlin is funny as all get out. You go back to Bush, and I love where this podcast has gone tonight. This is really fun. You go back to Bush and they were just relentless. I'm beating up on Bush forty three in late night. Yeah, but some of it was funny, Like it was even talked about at the White House the next day. Obama, they broke it. Yes, Obama, they broke it because they couldn't make fun of of of who they thought was the chosen one, right and say, well, they were so terrified. It's where Late night Comedy look SNEL has some of the great Chevy Chase brilliant playing Gerald Ford falling down. And by the way, Gerald Ford is probably the best athlete to ever be President of the United States. He was All American University of Michigan football player. I didn't know that. I really I didn't know he was a serious like that. I don't believe there's ever been another All American athlete. He was a legit athlete college that like like like the real deal, and Chevy Chase fell off of ladders, fell down, and the entire country thought of Gerald Ford as a klutz and an oath because of Saturday Night Live. You look how if you were if you go back in the night Saturday A Live and you look at the gaffs from Biden. Now we'll play a gaff from today. Great example, let's go back to what we're talking about classified documents. Let's play this. And I thought he was really on point because I think his staff prepped him and said, hey, your response these classified documents is incredibly important. You nailed this, but even at the end he couldn't hold it together very end dies it play? First, Let me get rid of the easy one first. People know I take classified documents a classifying information seriously. When my lawyers were clearing out my office at the University of Pennsylvania, they set up an office for me, secure office in the capitol. When the four years after being vice president as a profession at penn they found some documents in a box in a locked cabinet or at least a closet, And as soon as they did, they realized there were several classified documents in that box, and they did what they should have done. They immediately called the archives. Immediately call the archives, turned them over to the Archives. And I was briefed about this discovery and surprised and learned if there are any government records that were taken there to that office. But I don't know what's in the documents. I've my lawyers have not suggested. I asked what documents they were. I've turned over the boxes. They've turned over the boxes to the archives and we're cooperating fully, co operating fully with the review and which I hope will be finished soon and it will be more detail at that time. The first question, now I forgot, He's like he nailed it, and then but my point is, sati question I forgot, And he says, first of all, at the beginning, if you're listening us, first of all, first thing, and then he doesn't even remember. The first thing was, which is what you just did? How Saturday Night would have had the time of their lives at this moment. But they will not criticize them this week. No one in Late Night's going to criticize them for that. I don't think to do yet. They'll gently pop Biden for being old and senile. I'll give you to do that. Well yeah, okay, barely, but not this one. They won't. But okay, Obama, he did nothing wrong. And you look back from Chevy Chase, torontod Reagan, who they viciously destroyed, to to to Bush forty one. Dana Carvey, you remember you used to go Nagada, Nagata. In fact, it was one of the funniest things. After Bush was defeated, he went on Saturday I think it was Saturday Night Live or maybe his letterman, I remember what I'm gonna do it. He was talking and and Bush forty one said said said to Dana Carvey, Nagata, what is that? I don't say dot dot. It was funny. By the way, remember Dana Carvey not only played Bush forty one, he also played Rossi perro yea diet second sound from the South Giants second sound. It was ridiculously funny. You look at Will Farrell as George W. Bush. Amazing side splittingly funny. The entire history of SNL mocking politicians. All Right, Sarah Palin, I can see Russia from my porch, do you know? Never said that, never said it, but everybody I thought so. I'm willing to bet of our listeners and listen, our listeners on this podcast are smart, they're engaged, they're politically involved. I'd be willing to bet ninety percent of our listeners believe Sarah Palin said I can see Russia from our house, because almost everybody does. She never said those words. Where did those words come from? They were Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin on Saturday at Lives, and it was brilliant. I can see Russia from my house, and I got to admit, look, I consider Sarah a friend. I laughed because it was amazing. It was it was ridiculously funny. Comedy has been destroyed because a they won't make fun of the left, be their relentless partisans attacking anyone on the right. And see they're now willing to be shills for the authoritarian state. And so when I hear Jimmy Fallons saying about the latest COVID variant, it makes me sad. It makes me sad for the death of comedy. Yeah, because now it's propaganda. It's so your comedy, and it's like the thirteenth strike of a clock. It destroys any credibility. A comedian ought to have the integrity to say I'm going to speak truth to power and not speak power to truth. Yeah, I agree with you. There last question, back to the documents for a moment this comes out, you hear Biden, we just play that clip him trying to clean it up. Is there anything that really happens with this number one j I'll ignore it, okay. And and how big of a saving you believe this is significant? Though for Donald Trump? Not in the legal sense, but in the public opinion debate sense, it becomes it's why I sent the forward tweet convene a grand jury. I actually don't think we should convene a grand jury. So that tweet was not that was to make them defend it. It was to hypocrisy prompt them to give the reasons why that shouldn't happen, and president is everything. I do think the public narrative has become infinitely complicated by the fact that Joe Biden not only did the same thing, but did the same thing at a center that received over fifty million dollars from communist China that is literally being paid for by the Chinese communists. If you think of places to store secure classified documents, places being funded by the Chinese communist perhaps we shouldn't be on the top of your list. Yeah, just promise me, if there's ever hearing about this, you will ask what's the hourly rate for lawyers to move people? I just have to know that. I gotta know what moving coming like, did you did you hire that happens to be lawyers? I gotta know that question. Well, if you need to move your house, I'm gonna tell you right now. I ain't gonna do it, and I'm not, and there it is. We'll leave it at that, Senator. It's pleasure we're here in DC together. It's always fun to be in the nation's capital with you. We will see all of you guys back here on two days, so make sure you grab our podcasts then and don't forget hit the subscribe button, the auto downlotle button. You'll get the podcast automatically for free every time we publish, and you never know when those extra episodes are gonna pop up, so you don't want to miss those. We'll see you back here. Have a great week, my friends.