We’ve all felt that fire—the urge to get even, to make someone feel the pain they caused us. But at what point does that fire start burning us? This week, Kelly sits down with Yale Psychiatry lecturer, lawyer, and author James Kimmel, Jr. to explore the gripping science behind revenge—and why it behaves more like an addiction than a rational choice.

In his new book The Science of Revenge, James reveals how holding a grudge activates the same neural pathways as drug cravings and how many of us get stuck in revenge loops without even realizing it. Together, they unpack why revenge is so seductive, what it’s doing to our health and society, and the surprisingly powerful antidotes backed by neuroscience.

In this episode:
Why revenge feels so good… until it doesn’t
How ruminating on a grievance wires the brain for addiction
The real difference between forgiveness and letting someone off the hook
How mindfulness, gratitude, and self-compassion help break the cycle
What James believes could be the next major public health shift

This one goes deep—and it just might change how you think about justice, healing, and freedom.

Book: The Science of Revenge 

Website: https://www.jameskimmeljr.com/

HOST: Kelly Henderson // @velvetsedge // velvetsedge.com

We&rsquo;ve all felt that fire&mdash;the urge to get even, to make someone feel the pain they caused us. But at what point does that fire start burning us? This week, Kelly sits down with Yale Psychiatry lecturer, lawyer, and author James Kimmel, Jr. to explore the gripping science behind revenge&mdash;and why it behaves more like an addiction than a rational choice.
In his new book The Science of Revenge, James reveals how holding a grudge activates the same neural pathways as drug cravings and how many of us get stuck in revenge loops without even realizing it. Together, they unpack why revenge is so seductive, what it&rsquo;s doing to our health and society, and the surprisingly powerful antidotes backed by neuroscience.
In this episode:
<ul>
<li>Why revenge feels so good&hellip; until it doesn&rsquo;t</li>
<li>How ruminating on a grievance wires the brain for addiction</li>
<li>The real difference between forgiveness and letting someone off the hook</li>
<li>How mindfulness, gratitude, and self-compassion help break the cycle</li>
<li>What James believes could be the next major public health shift</li>
</ul>
This one goes deep&mdash;and it just might change how you think about justice, healing, and freedom.
Book: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Science-Revenge-Understanding-Deadliest-Addiction/dp/0593796519">The Science of Revenge</a>&nbsp;
Website:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.jameskimmeljr.com/">https://www.jameskimmeljr.com/</a>
HOST: Kelly Henderson // <a href="https://www.instagram.com/velvetsedge/">@velvetsedge</a> // velvetsedge.com

The Velvet's Edge Podcast is an invitation to explore the beautiful, messy truth that real growth is an inside job. Hosted by Kelly Henderson—a celebrity stylist and men's groomer who has learned firsthand that "looking good" on the outside only gets you so far—this podcast is a space for the conversations you don't always hear out loud.

Life has a way of knocking us flat, and Kelly believes there is purpose in that pain. She uses her own journey of plot twists to show that true beauty is found by going inward. On some days, you'll hear deep dives with therapists, healers, and other people who have turned their pain into something beautiful. On other days, Kelly and Chip Dorsch laugh their way through the weird, messy "WTF is this life?" moments, because growth is easier when you and your bestie can laugh through it together.

This podcast is for you if you've ever felt empty despite doing everything you were "supposed to" do. It's for you if you're stuck in a toxic relationship cycle and don't know how to get out. It's for you if you're in the middle of a total life plot twist and have no idea where to start. You aren't broken beyond repair. You are simply a human on a soul's journey, and even though we each have our own path, it's a lot easier when we have a little help from our friends.

The Velvet's Edge Podcast&nbsp;is an invitation to explore the beautiful, messy truth that real growth is an inside job. Hosted by&nbsp;Kelly Henderson&mdash;a celebrity stylist and men's groomer who has learned firsthand that "looking good" on the outside only gets you so far&mdash;this podcast is a space for the conversations you don't always hear out loud.
Life has a way of knocking us flat, and Kelly believes there is purpose in that pain. She uses her own journey of plot twists to show that true beauty is found by going inward. On some days, you'll hear deep dives with therapists, healers, and other people who have turned their pain into something beautiful. On other days, Kelly and Chip Dorsch&nbsp;laugh their way through the weird, messy "WTF is this life?" moments, because growth is easier when you and your bestie can laugh through it together.
This podcast is for you if you've ever felt empty despite doing everything you were "supposed to" do. It's for you if you're stuck in a toxic relationship cycle and don't know how to get out. It's for you if you're in the middle of a total life plot twist and have no idea where to start. You aren't broken beyond repair. You are simply a human on a soul's journey, and even though we each have our own path, it's a lot easier when we have a little help from our friends.

Velvet's Edge with Kelly Henderson

Revenge Is a Hell of a Drug: Why We Crave It—And How to Break Free (The Velvet)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/85d55c8d-0539-4ffb-b7b6-b30000c291cb/transcript

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