In this episode of Untidy we talk to Zoe Marshall, media personality, creator of ‘The Deep’ podcast, and self-described over-sharer. Our conversation with Zoe is about her experience of surviving domestic violence. We talk about what made her a target for getting drawn into that relationship, how she got trapped, and why it’s so hard for the victims of abuse to get out and stay safe.

CONTENT WARNING: Some of this conversation may be triggering to some listeners. Please check in with yourself and choose a time and a place to listen that’s right for you. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please find resources below for places you can reach out to for help.

Zoe explains the journey of healing from her trauma, the remnants that remain affecting her, and how she became open to loving again.

Now a mum to two young children and in a safe and loving relationship with her husband, Benji Marshall, Zoe’s life experiences have led her to create her hit podcast, ‘The Deep’. She is able to hold space for powerful conversations with people who have often never shared their stories before. Her community of devoted listeners come to the podcast to hear gritty conversations they may never have otherwise had access to, from people with extraordinary life experiences.

Follow Zoe on Instagram at @zoebmarshall and The Deep at @whatsthedeep. Check out The Deep on Apple, Spotify, or your favourite listening app. 



Untidy podcast is about honouring the person within the parent. Follow the show and get in touch on Instagram @untidypodcast. Find Matilda at @matootles and get your copy of The Feel Good Guide. Find Hannah at @hannahedavison and @mybigmoments. Visit My Big Moments for kids’ books that make your tricky job of parenting a whole lot easier.



Untidy podcast is co-produced and edited by Popsock Media, and hosted by rova. Untidy is proud to also be supported by My Big Moments – kids’ books backed by research and Kiwi ingenuity to make your tricky job of parenting a whole lot easier. Enter code UNTIDY at checkout for 10% off your order.



Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed the show, please subscribe to help us build this Untidy community and make sure you never miss an episode.

RESOURCES IN NEW ZEALAND:



If you, or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please find resources below for places you can reach out to for help. 


Family violence information line (link is external) | 0800 456 450


Sensitive Claims ACC (link is external) | 0800 735 566


Shakti - for migrant and refugee women | 0800 742 584 - 24 hours


Shine National Helpline (link is external) | 0508 744 633 - 24 hours


Victim Support (link is external) - support for men and women victims | 0800 842 846 - 24 hours


Women’s Refuge crisis (link is external) line | 0800 733 843 - 24 hours


National network of stopping violence (link is external) | 03 391 0048


Rainbow Youth (link is external) - promoting healthy queer, trans and takatäpui relationships


Gandhi Nivas (link is external) - supporting men to be free from violence | 0800 426 344


Hey Bro helpline (link is external) - supporting men to be free from violence | 0800 HeyBro (439 276) 


Hohou te rongo kahukura - outing violence (link is external) - building rainbow communities free from violence


Elder Abuse Helpline | 0800 32 668 65 - 24 hours

RESOURCES IN AUSTRALIA:


1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) - The National Sexual Assault, Family & Domestic Violence Counselling Line for any Australian who has experienced, or is at risk of, family and domestic violence and/or sexual assault. 24 hours, 7 days a week. www.1800respect.org.au


Lifeline (13 11 14) - A national number which can help put you in contact with a crisis service in your state. 24 hours, 7 days a week. www.lifeline.org.au

In this episode of Untidy we talk to Zoe Marshall, media personality, creator of ‘<a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/rPNTCANZJ5S1oAL0HGmDeo?domain=podcasts.apple.com" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/rPNTCANZJ5S1oAL0HGmDeo?domain%3Dpodcasts.apple.com&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2HeH2hO2_qX6sGgPm1yNPQ">The Deep</a>’ podcast, and self-described over-sharer. Our conversation with Zoe is about her experience of surviving domestic violence. We talk about what made her a target for getting drawn into that relationship, how she got trapped, and why it’s so hard for the victims of abuse to get out and stay safe. CONTENT WARNING: Some of this conversation may be triggering to some listeners. Please check in with yourself and choose a time and a place to listen that’s right for you. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please find resources below for places you can reach out to for help. Zoe explains the journey of healing from her trauma, the remnants that remain affecting her, and how she became open to loving again. Now a mum to two young children and in a safe and loving relationship with her husband, Benji Marshall, Zoe’s life experiences have led her to create her hit podcast, ‘<a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/rPNTCANZJ5S1oAL0HGmDeo?domain=podcasts.apple.com" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/rPNTCANZJ5S1oAL0HGmDeo?domain%3Dpodcasts.apple.com&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2HeH2hO2_qX6sGgPm1yNPQ">The Deep</a>’. She is able to hold space for powerful conversations with people who have often never shared their stories before. Her community of devoted listeners come to the podcast to hear gritty conversations they may never have otherwise had access to, from people with extraordinary life experiences. Follow Zoe on Instagram at <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/Km8DCBNZK5Slm5pqf6mH2m?domain=instagram.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/Km8DCBNZK5Slm5pqf6mH2m?domain%3Dinstagram.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw147e666EyZIYnXnuuAw9D7">@zoebmarshall</a> and The Deep at <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/96YBCD1jM5IOmlNpHAmC7L?domain=instagram.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/96YBCD1jM5IOmlNpHAmC7L?domain%3Dinstagram.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1CfdMuuQOOCqKWVRFqHG8v">@whatsthedeep</a>. Check out The Deep on <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/rPNTCANZJ5S1oAL0HGmDeo?domain=podcasts.apple.com" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/rPNTCANZJ5S1oAL0HGmDeo?domain%3Dpodcasts.apple.com&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2HeH2hO2_qX6sGgPm1yNPQ">Apple</a>, <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/lkfECE8kN5i6G5VyHPpfSY?domain=open.spotify.com" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/lkfECE8kN5i6G5VyHPpfSY?domain%3Dopen.spotify.com&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2Vg2gLYdtFMvEmA4gS_zWz">Spotify</a>, or your favourite listening app. 
 
Untidy podcast is about honouring the person within the parent. Follow the show and get in touch on Instagram <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/C6jyCGvmPjiLl5KnfkOxBW?domain=instagram.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/C6jyCGvmPjiLl5KnfkOxBW?domain%3Dinstagram.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1uVHnRQl7x5VgoycNnNCee">@untidypodcast</a>. Find Matilda at <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/Zpp_CJypVmIQzE3OfOsbPD?domain=instagram.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/Zpp_CJypVmIQzE3OfOsbPD?domain%3Dinstagram.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3JX0a-puLQkCF1gOC24zc2">@matootles</a> and get your copy of <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/RnTNCK1qWnIrw5zKTopWGO?domain=whitcoulls.co.nz" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/RnTNCK1qWnIrw5zKTopWGO?domain%3Dwhitcoulls.co.nz&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0FpAfB64rlNXa0nyKskYmt">The Feel Good Guide</a>. Find Hannah at <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/cD6QCL7rXoFYOnyqfKMvJt?domain=instagram.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/cD6QCL7rXoFYOnyqfKMvJt?domain%3Dinstagram.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1I3CaK6dwa-LNMcdVDjNXc">@hannahedavison</a> and <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/3xe-CMwvYpI684MPHOe5L5?domain=instagram.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/3xe-CMwvYpI684MPHOe5L5?domain%3Dinstagram.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3AUGDyVcDO-VJccb41S3pB">@mybigmoments</a>. Visit <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/QBoqCNLwZqSMxmDLH8UCdn?domain=mybigmoments.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/QBoqCNLwZqSMxmDLH8UCdn?domain%3Dmybigmoments.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0fM8FgKxodUp2KswYCudTq">My Big Moments</a> for kids’ books that make your tricky job of parenting a whole lot easier.
 
Untidy podcast is co-produced and edited by <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/5XlTCOMx1rI2XmzYuYYGsK?domain=popsockmedia.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/5XlTCOMx1rI2XmzYuYYGsK?domain%3Dpopsockmedia.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2RmWb83cvj9h8ZJ3-0fe1C">Popsock Media</a>, and hosted by <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/9HjXCP7y2vF5mE8gSRTe2o?domain=rova.nz" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/9HjXCP7y2vF5mE8gSRTe2o?domain%3Drova.nz&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2v39l4TLdEpWqkO_D5VyzV">rova</a>. Untidy is proud to also be supported by <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/QBoqCNLwZqSMxmDLH8UCdn?domain=mybigmoments.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/QBoqCNLwZqSMxmDLH8UCdn?domain%3Dmybigmoments.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0fM8FgKxodUp2KswYCudTq">My Big Moments</a> – kids’ books backed by research and Kiwi ingenuity to make your tricky job of parenting a whole lot easier. Enter code UNTIDY at checkout for 10% off your order.
 
Thanks for listening! If you enjoyed the show, please subscribe to help us build this Untidy community and make sure you never miss an episode. RESOURCES IN NEW ZEALAND:
 
If you, or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please find resources below for places you can reach out to for help. 
<ul>
<li dir="ltr">
<a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/M7OwCQnz3wCNqjMVinvoNy?domain=areyouok.org.nz/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/M7OwCQnz3wCNqjMVinvoNy?domain%3Dareyouok.org.nz/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3a3lR-0x-3vnOYJ2RM9EQz">Family violence information line (link is external)</a> | 0800 456 450
</li>
<li dir="ltr">
<a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/J48CCROA4xHglqjYCyCip2?domain=acc.co.nz/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/J48CCROA4xHglqjYCyCip2?domain%3Dacc.co.nz/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0lbaCf0e7wdkGRz1D2p-uN">Sensitive Claims ACC (link is external) </a>| 0800 735 566
</li>
<li dir="ltr">
Shakti - for migrant and refugee women | 0800 742 584 - 24 hours
</li>
<li dir="ltr">
<a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/7ywwCVAG8BHPKoNBT5TjtT?domain=2shine.org.nz/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/7ywwCVAG8BHPKoNBT5TjtT?domain%3D2shine.org.nz/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3f9Oxfxx7cpJhjVc0WbjTZ">Shine National Helpline (link is external)</a> | 0508 744 633 - 24 hours
</li>
<li dir="ltr">
<a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/PJC0CWLJgDSyYmR3C2S2hI?domain=victimsupport.org.nz/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/PJC0CWLJgDSyYmR3C2S2hI?domain%3Dvictimsupport.org.nz/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3uCzGE0YBX8SRtmAUwXkUi">Victim Support (link is external) </a>- support for men and women victims | 0800 842 846 - 24 hours
</li>
<li dir="ltr">
<a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/kTRBCXLKjESMNoVAHorzJ6?domain=womensrefuge.org.nz/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/kTRBCXLKjESMNoVAHorzJ6?domain%3Dwomensrefuge.org.nz/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3m9MCnwOvt4Yl-GMOnJey0">Women’s Refuge crisis (link is external) </a>line | 0800 733 843 - 24 hours
</li>
<li dir="ltr">
<a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/sTDFCYWLkGu6Z2EYH6Koow?domain=nnsvs.org.nz/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/sTDFCYWLkGu6Z2EYH6Koow?domain%3Dnnsvs.org.nz/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0i1UOl0v2y_iClRIbnlBiS">National network of stopping violence (link is external) </a>| 03 391 0048
</li>
<li dir="ltr">
<a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/_1xqCZYMlJtoR9rvf6Nrlf?domain=ry.org.nz/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/_1xqCZYMlJtoR9rvf6Nrlf?domain%3Dry.org.nz/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0Msj_280OW7PKnh3XzRRa7">Rainbow Youth (link is external) </a>- promoting healthy queer, trans and takatäpui relationships
</li>
<li dir="ltr">
<a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/wWTYC1WZm8uEmN2gfo5H6k?domain=gandhinivas.nz/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/wWTYC1WZm8uEmN2gfo5H6k?domain%3Dgandhinivas.nz/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948940000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1SjLcEQdlp9g4oANHTQ1Wv">Gandhi Nivas (link is external) </a>- supporting men to be free from violence | 0800 426 344
</li>
<li dir="ltr">
<a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/MlzBC2xZn5iEGzPrfGHu2T?domain=hewakatapu.org.nz" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/MlzBC2xZn5iEGzPrfGHu2T?domain%3Dhewakatapu.org.nz&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948941000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2x0Wz5K_Z3Hm0r2oWylbHI">Hey Bro helpline (link is external) </a>- supporting men to be free from violence | 0800 HeyBro (439 276) 
</li>
<li dir="ltr">
<a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/p6wMC3Q8o5fRMz63IWqcio?domain=kahukura.co.nz/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/p6wMC3Q8o5fRMz63IWqcio?domain%3Dkahukura.co.nz/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948941000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1zHVdABz4lFmgzIEE2ju5M">Hohou te rongo kahukura - outing violence (link is external) </a>- building rainbow communities free from violence
</li>
<li dir="ltr">
Elder Abuse Helpline | 0800 32 668 65 - 24 hours
</li>
</ul>
RESOURCES IN AUSTRALIA:
<ul>
<li dir="ltr">
1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) - The National Sexual Assault, Family &amp; Domestic Violence Counselling Line for any Australian who has experienced, or is at risk of, family and domestic violence and/or sexual assault. 24 hours, 7 days a week. <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/h11RC91Zx5IYKELnflt9FR?domain=1800respect.org.au" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/h11RC91Zx5IYKELnflt9FR?domain%3D1800respect.org.au&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948941000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0jXpyPkB4DuBCdepbjZOWS">www.1800respect.org.au</a>
</li>
<li dir="ltr">
Lifeline (13 11 14) - A national number which can help put you in contact with a crisis service in your state. 24 hours, 7 days a week. <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/b_yKC0YZl6trWwqvT6AlQY?domain=lifeline.org.au" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/b_yKC0YZl6trWwqvT6AlQY?domain%3Dlifeline.org.au&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1696011948941000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1BjRQGhyMce7InU3DZFrTt">www.lifeline.org.au</a>
</li>
</ul>

Untidy podcast honours the person within the parent. Hosts, Matilda Green and Hannah Davison dive into the undergrowth of sex and relationships, mental health, healing, body issues, identity questions, and more with a range of guests. Connect, laugh, learn, and keep moving forward.

Follow the show and get in touch on Instagram @untidypodcast. Follow Matilda at @matootles and Hannah’s work at My Big Moments and @mybigmoments.

Untidy podcast honours the person within the parent. Hosts, Matilda Green and <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/Ok7VCk8vJmiYQPVQi2AtaX?domain=instagram.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/Ok7VCk8vJmiYQPVQi2AtaX?domain%3Dinstagram.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1675464441664000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1DKy7jRTDAphDD3dx-D2Gy"> </a>Hannah Davison dive into the undergrowth of sex and relationships, mental health, healing, body issues, identity questions, and more with a range of guests. Connect, laugh, learn, and keep moving forward.
Follow the show and get in touch on Instagram <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/gPe0ClxwKniOZjJZf9F_xq?domain=instagram.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/gPe0ClxwKniOZjJZf9F_xq?domain%3Dinstagram.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1675464441664000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2p1b-PpxuXkqHY51gECyy_">@untidypodcast</a>. Follow Matilda at <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/lY5QCmOxLoH1n9wnfBN7bK?domain=instagram.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/lY5QCmOxLoH1n9wnfBN7bK?domain%3Dinstagram.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1675464441664000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0gyme0c8n03X-ccHQmeYmp">@matootles</a> and Hannah’s work at <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/AzX4CnxyMpilok0oSZYS8y?domain=mybigmoments.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/AzX4CnxyMpilok0oSZYS8y?domain%3Dmybigmoments.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1675464441664000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3Hoedi4I1XnrDPNsZmF-Pk">My Big Moments</a> and <a href="https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/vAFMCoVzNqHlzQNzSOYT4O?domain=instagram.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://protect-au.mimecast.com/s/vAFMCoVzNqHlzQNzSOYT4O?domain%3Dinstagram.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1675464441664000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0YUZ5BLmOIFNiPh5RKpJIy">@mybigmoments</a>.