Welcome to Unbreakable! A mental health podcast hosted by Fox NFL Insider Jay Glazer. On today’s episode, Super Bowl Champion Michael Oher, whose life inspired the Oscar-nominated film The Blind Side, shares his inspirational journey from the streets of Memphis overcoming the most challenging times, to the NFL and what he's doing now to help others.
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This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental health podcast helping you out of the gray and into the blue. Now here's Jay Glacier.
Welcome back to Unbreakable mental health podcast with Jay Glazier and our guest today is an unbelievable human being. A story fantastic and he really epitomizes the type of guy who isn't a victim by what's happened to him. Instead, he's using his own experience as an adversity to turn around and help teach others, which what we all need to do.
But I think in.
Today's day and age, where it's an even harder day, stories like this are even more valuable.
Before I get to him.
If you're like many people, you may be surprised to learn that one in five adults in this country experienced mental illness last year. I'm definitely one of them. You're far too many failed to receive the support they need.
Carolen.
Behavioral health is doing something about it.
They understand that behavioral health is a key part of whole health, delivering compassionate care that treats physical, mental, so emotional, and social needs in tandem. Carolyn, behavioral health raising the quality of life through empathy and action.
With that, I want to.
Welcome in Michael or you guys may know him his story from the blind Side.
He's won a super Bowl first round pick.
He's played for years and years, and now he actually just came out with the second book as well.
How are you the guy?
Well, great, Jakey, appreciate you having me on.
Hey before I get into your new book. You have a rough story growing up. What's it like watching it played by other people on TV?
Well, I've always been a movie guy, even before The Blindside came out. But you know, for me, it was kind of funny. It wasn't that big of a deal because I knew how how much more pain and how rough of a story and the things that I actually went through that you couldn't get you You weren't gonna feel the amount of things that I went through in that movie. I understood that right off the bat, you know, from from watching the movie the first time I saw it.
So no, I didn't.
I didn't look at it as a bigger deal as everybody else did, because I knew whoever saw that wasn't gonna understand who I was and what I actually went through.
What were there some of the things that were more difficult that maybe weren't in the movie that you actually had overcome.
To be honest with you, I would say, you know, from the ages of three to twelve years old, I was on the streets, I was in shelters, I was in foster care, and I from eleven to twelve, I lived a year and a half on the streets by myself, running from the authorities after I ran away from the from foster care foster home that I was living in. So you know, from your first memory being homeless and just having to survive and go through all of that from three to twelve years old, And people don't understand that that actual three lights times that you've lived already and where you are mentally at that stage, you're already thinking on the streets as an adult. So from the point to going to college and NFL everything like that, that's a bonus. But when you're eighteen, you know, coming from where I came from, you know, you're just happy to be alive and surviving.
Around that time, three to twelve, wats is when you're supposed to learn from like your mom and dad.
You know, those years had to become a young man to becoming a man, and you didn't have that. What did you take from what you did learn those years for you now to teach your owsom man.
I really learned what not to be and what not to do, just do the total opposite. I learned to basically whatever everything that I wanted in a father, in a family. That's what I'm doing now being there every day. I hate when I have to go off to another city or stay to leave the house. You know, implementing what are work truly is what it's like to you know, half character, what not to be and you know how to go out here and be a law abouting citizen and just not to be a statistic and do the right thing every day and to go out and chase greatness. So you know, I mean, it's it's something that I can't explain. I try not to talk about too much because that's the last thing that I have. You know, everybody think that they know who I am. That's all I have left for me. But being a feminine man of fathers everything to me, it's nothing. It's not a joke, and you know, it's just something that everybody should do and go through.
Now listen, I think because what you went through.
Listen, our scars make us who we are, right, Forget the accolades, forget all the other shit.
Like I never walked in a room and be like, yeah, man, I'm gonna keep you all a fan. I don't do that yet. I walk in the room like, man, I've had seven back.
Procedures because of fighting, and you know, got my gleango broke twice and my another seven times.
And this cut off, like my scar or something.
I could always hang my hat on to make me special and different the rest of the room out there.
Can you do the same thing? Can you look at it?
Because because I know you have some look, you're gonna have some anger and animosity built up and whatnot. Could you now switch it and be like, no, this is what that's my currency. My scars are my currency.
Man, I say that all the time. It's nothing better nobody. I mean what, I wouldn't have a story if I didn't go through the things that I went through. So who in the heck wants to I don't want to go to a I don't want to go through all this, go through nothing and be successful. I mean, what we got to talk about you know, we need to we need to be I like to be one with you. I like to talk about man, you know, all the battles and the homeless, nice to starve and the change in the mindset where you're you're about to go down one path and you go down another. You got saved right here because someone helped me out. So you know, that's what I like, And that's I love being around people who are tougher, smarter, better shape because I know I can be me, because I like, I've been through so many struggles. I know that I can but just be me now, you know, and I've been through the works. I've been through everything that you can imagine. So I just I like being around those type of people man, where I can just men, I can just be just be me, happy about just being around just positivity. So you know, I love it.
So a guy like me, dude, my mental health issues will always tell me I don't deserve shit, Like I'm not deserving anything, you know, So when good things tend to happen to me, I tend to either sabotage them or run away from them. I'm not like that anymore because the work I've done on myself or years ago, that's what.
I would done.
I pushed every girl ever had away from me until a beautiful woman i'm with now. When that happened with you and your high school coaches of coaches wife brought you in, were you able to receive it and be like, oh, yes, yes I deserve.
It, or were you like I don't know about this right here now, I've never Man, it's I hate being. I mean, it's a it's a tough world of being. I hated you, I really hate it for I don't know who I hated for me.
I don't know.
Man, when you've been like I said, you wouldn't do so much, been in the street for so long, you I guess you're expecting it not to be true at those times or it's gonna end here pretty soon. Man, That's that's tough. It's just like winning the super Bowl, not being able to celebrate fully like a person that's thinking normally normal would celebrate. Uh. Not, Man, so many achievements you really don't feel feel it because it's almost like you're numb and uh something you can't heal from you just uh, I think you see the joy and everybody else and you try to. For me, I try to live the joy that people are giving me. I try to live through that joy through seeing them happy.
But no, I don't.
When you took so many losses, you feel so much and you just like birthdays, Christmas, gift everything like that. It's just I like seeing everybody else.
Happen for me. You have faith in your life now.
Most definitely are you saying faith in what faith in? Uh?
Just faith in your life? Like man, I deserve good ship, now, you know, I've always Man, that's a hard question, right, I.
Think we all deserve something. What I think I'm I don't know. I'm gonna just keep working man towards something. I don't care what that is. And I've never quite knew the journey that I was going on. So I think for me, I've always wanted to be humble. I've always tried to. You know, I feel that you're afraid you're gonna jacent. You just hit it on the head and you felt when you failed so much, like I said, when you failed and constantly failed, and when you think you reached the pinnacle and you're still on the other side of that failure because of the negativity and people judging you, misunderstanding you, and you wishing for other things. So I just let it happen. I just let things happen. And that works for me, you know. I just keep working for a keep working until something happened, you know. If not, I'm just keep going. But if it doesn't, you know, I don't. I don't feel that I don't want to mess it up.
I used to be in the same way, and I always think, man, I don't want to jinx it. I'm not going to do this.
And then one day, man, it's like I got an epiphany, Like, man, the universe conspires.
To help us in against us.
And once I started kind of believing that I was able to I think things are right in front of my face that I hadn't been able to see before.
Now I can see him.
And it's also like I don't want to live in fear, so we start living in faith not fear.
That's a much better way for us to live.
I gotta start using that that faith. Uh, you know, fear. I think what drove me all my life is fear. That's I want to go back and I want to feel I want to see everybody else succeed and not fail. So I think that that's what I I'm driven by fear, running away from things. Faith that's a that's a hell of a thing too, right there. When I preak, I'm a big energy person. Yeah, I love energy, pray a lot of energy is everything to me. And I think I've always given out great energy and always been positive and won't ever. I'm a big cheerleader of people, and like I said, every everybody else's success is that's success to me. But uh, you know with the energy, energy is everything for you.
Interest I'll tell you something else. I don't want to just be like therapy session, but you know you gotta share with your teammates, right. But something that really helped me man I was out in Thailand last year, went for thirty five days for this mind body spirit thing. Fought moy Thai in a jungles for thirty five days. That was a hat all like anti inflammatory foods.
But I work with these monks.
We're like our therapists, but they just come at a different angle and they're like, hey, we don't want you to talk for anybody, anybody for like three day, all right, three days I got adhd I can't not talk to anybody.
For three days. That's painful, right.
And they're like, what we want you to do is for three days, we just want you to sit in your own pain. And I said, I sit in my pain every day. I said, no, you experience your pain every day. We want you to sit in that pain. And said, what do you call yourself?
Growing up? Was it Jaday? I said no, it was Jason. I want by Jason. So we want you to.
Sit in your pain and hold little Jason's hand, just show him some compassion because he probably never felt like you had it, and he was always on the run, and just love him up, like, just love him up. And man, I did that for three days. Brother, it was and I still do. Like every day I'll go out, I'll lay on my couch out here, I'll meditate.
I'll start look at a little Jason. I put my arm around him. I'm like, hey, it's gonna be all right. So that want to be something I could you can benefit from.
Man, that's great stuff.
Right.
Every day I sit in the sun. I sit in the sun every day. So I mean it's thirty forty five to hours, nothing like three days. But that's that's a help of a thing. Something I definitely looking uh, the trauma, the trauma that you go through, I mean, it never goes away mentally, it's always there. And I think for me and for a lot of people who's running from the past or if they've been through all these struggles, that's what's stopping you from reaching that pinnacle and chasing greatness because you can't get over the fact that you didn't have anybody there to hold your hand, the whole little Jacent's hand, the whole Little Michael's hand, to show them away. So you're you're you're pissed off, you're angry still. You know, a bunch of people, even if it could be you, the person that you've become now, you should have been there for little Michael, for little Mike. So, man, that's a great thing and it's something a lot of people can benefit from.
Start doing it.
Gonna put that.
Into arsen he's got, he's got. You got to heal him because he deserves it. And then you know your warrior Michael to be like, hey, I got you now, nothing else is gonna happen.
Ever again, I go, Warrior j got you, dude, We're good I got you. And when I start feeling myself go off the reservation.
Sometimes I go off to the sign outside and I start doing I just start taking care of him and going, oh, he's the one that's that hurt right now, are gonna do take care of him?
And I don't know how long that's gonna be in my life, but definitely helps me.
Man.
I think it could help you a lot down.
No, I definitely will help. I think it'll be it'll be around forever, because I mean, you living a life, you live in life. You pissed off. I've been pissed off for a long time. You know, you put it away here?
How do we get you not to be pissed off? Man? Better existence? Right? How do we get you not to be pissed anymore?
It's it's there what you said, right there, it's uh doing away with those damons and those those paths that passed trauma right there, man, and moving on. And you got to understand too. For me, it's bigger than you people who are going through still. You went through all. I went through everything that I went through and basically came out on the other side. Not a lot of people are gonna come out on the other side. So for me what I think now, So I'm doing it for everybody behind, everybody who doesn't have that fight to look at whatever you're going through in the eye and say, hey, I'm about to knock you, you know, on your anus and you know, push you where you can't get them anymore. So I think that's the biggest thing, man, is inspiring that next generation and the people who can't do it.
But that's why you got to do it, not in a pissed off way, because yeah, you got to look at yourself down and go, man, I can't help all these all these kids. You're being of service. You're doing such great things, way grand than any super Bowl you could have wont to do. He close, right.
People get lucky you on the team they win the super Bowl, but they can't do.
The stuff that you're doing. Now your story, how many other people can help out. I want that to empower you, man, I want that to get you to start moving forward.
Every day. Go talk my life is great.
Now I get to do this and help kid and help that person, help that family that the life will lift.
You just hit it on the head right there. When when I was going through everything that I was going through mentally trying to come back from it because of being the president, you know, going through all these things, and I mean, you got everything that you ever wanted. You you're living in this huge house, you got all the money, just everything, and you're wondering what's going on, and you come out the dumps, you come out those you come out that dark place because for me it was Man, it's bigger than you. It's not even about you anymore. It's about what you just said. It's about so many of these other people who can't do it. And you're playing a game bigger than football.
You know that.
That's why you have a sense of duty because you were given this platform for a reason nobody could. And you don't have anybody that go to graduate high school. You don't have anybody that's going to work every day. You don't have anybody that's positive anything in your life. But you're at eleven, twelve years old, You're going to school on your own, you're getting a job on your own. You're mean life halfway and trying to get to a point of being successful because the high power news is bigger than you. And that's what you know what you just said, looking back and understanding that you have a sense of duty and you can't give up mentally, physically, you gotta become You gotta keep chasing graveness. And that's and that's everything. Man, It's bigger than the game. It's not a game. It's life.
And then do you are beloved?
It's just not by what we grew up thinking we're gonna be loved by mom and don the brother. It's just you're so beloved that you need to see you got you gotta give yourself a break. It fill you up, man. That will be much better. Just the better you are here, the more people you can help. Right, the less we're fighting with ourselves, the less energy. You know, it'll free up energy for us to help other people. That's great stuff. That's great stuff.
And it's some, uh, it's some Like I said, you can't you've been programmed. You get programmed. And you know it's another topic. It's another some other stuff that I like catting to myself, but you can't for me. It's hard to accept when you've been you know, in this struggle, you've been told that you can't, you've been told that you won't for so long and it's hard to accept. It goes back to that, but you did You did it exactly exactly.
The fuck what they said.
You did it one hundred percent of loving yourself up for that one hundred percent correct. Man, You've got to give a phrase and that's and that's a part of breaking up, breaking that barrier, going toward greatness. So yeah, it's something I'm definitely definitely be moving forward now.
People want to love.
You up, man, let them love you up, right, let them love you up. It's way better to be walking this walk with people. And I know it's probably real hard for you to trust people, but man, it's you know, you know you will be alone if you definitely don't let them in. If you let people love you up, maybe there's a chance you won't be along right and we'll have a bigger team.
I mean, the team is everything. You're not the worst thing. Your circle, Man, you gotta get a new circle.
You can keep.
You can keep the same people. The circle that you confine then needs to grow a little bit. But you know you're hitting it on it. You can't continue to fight the love and the positivity, man, it holds you back. So I think we all can be great at that and you know, get the word we want to be. So it's definitely something we all can work on an hour for sure.
What was your favorite thing about playing in the league.
I think everybody says for me, it just goes back to it goes down to the locker room. That and not even that. You can just be yourself. You know in football you got a bunch of monsters, man and a bunch of men. You know, I've always been a leader of men, and you can be yourself. You don't have to put on and nobody you when someone's looking at the foot. In college, you have to you have looking at the Scallet report. You have to look at pictures. You have to look at these monsters on the Scallet report. In the NFL, you have to look at these monsters and then you have to go run them, run them over on Saturdays and Sundays. So it was no egos.
It was no time to.
Uh, who's who's the most popular? Everybody in that locker room. Everyone every man is himself and you can be comfortable. You can get joked on. You can, you know you can, you can just tell you can. Everybody is chasing that one thing. Everybody's chasing the championship. But outside the locker room, you know, being things, you people go their separate paths. But you know, inside the locker room, man, it's you're talking about personalities that you don't see in the public and just people just uh being themselves.
And all problems all solved.
And it's so many it's so many misunderstood people that's in that lock the room that you you won't even recognize and they can be themselves because everybody else is telling them that what they aren't. So you know, that's one thing that.
I always say, if the rest of the world acted like an NFL locker room, we won't have so many problems.
Like it's the only place you canna have a big.
Fat, white racist lineman being the best man of the young thuck black guy's wedding, right.
No one, ain't nobody, races, ain't nobody everybody's you won't show it. I can tell you that.
There's color you care about, that's silver, that rid, that trophy, that is it and being a good person.
You know, that locker room will turn you into a hell of a guy too, So it'll bring out all your great traits and qualities.
You can't be selfish in the locker room. You got to be behold on your brother and right left.
That's it right there. So that that's one of the Uh, that's one of the things I missed more than anything.
I had started charity years ago called MVP Merging Vessent Players. We're same thing.
I was taking football players and putting together a combat that's for when the uniform came off.
Because losing that locker room sucks. I know it's the I know they do different jobs, but the loss of the locker room is the same suck for both.
So I'm like, hey, let's put them together, train together, and have these mental health talks together.
We're now in eight cities in eight years, and I'm really proud of.
It, guys and nas.
Proud of We're not Nashville yet, but we're on Zoom each week. Also look it up, but that's some players dot Org.
I'll check it out.
Yeah, we're definitely experiense pretty cool.
You know, football, especially in the NFL, is not about physical. It's not about physically at all. There's all of them. That's what I tell people every day. You from six to six man you got to be locked in mixley every single sacking, and the ones who can do that the best, those are the ones who last the lungs. And I think it holds true when you're done playing football, it's PDSD as well because of the mental everything you had to go through mintically every day.
Man, you know, definitely aligned. So yeah, I got a couple more questions. I let you go, But what was the coolest thing? And when you talk about your new book, what was the coolest thing when the movie came out?
Like your coolest experience from it?
The coolest experience, man, I probably you know, having a movie made about you. I think for the most part, a lot of the times, the person that plays in the movie looks a lot better than the real character.
I don't know if that was the case this time.
Yeah, I was about on the scale of one to team, about a five or six, man, I instantly went up to about nineteen once it came out. The difference right there was tremendous.
But did you have any good stories of being on any of the red carpets? We're like, holy fuck, this person's here.
To be honest with you, I didn't go. I didn't go to any red cars. I didn't go to. I've never met Sandra Bullock. I've never met Tim McGrath, I've never met any I met the actor who played not he came to a game. I mean, that's a that's another story for us. But in my mind, my head was in the game. Man, I'm gonna come back and share it with you in a few months and we'll we'll we'll talk a little bit more openly.
But uh, my friend was your producer. Molly Smith was a producer. Okay, yeah, her brother is the head coach of the Falcons right now.
Yeah, Colin's Collins, the sister. Yeah he's married the author's brother.
Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yeah, great family. Yeah.
Yeah, my head was in the game. My head was in the game. I was locked in. Football was what got me to where I wanted to be in where I thought I wanted to be in life. So I had to be locked in man.
Interesting, all right, tell me about your new book you got coming out.
When You're Backs against the Wall. It's it's a continuation from my last book, I Beat the Odds. It's picking up where I last left off with the with I Beat the Odds, and where I am right now with my foundation and coming back from what we're talking about now, Mimi help depression and dealing with life's obstacles.
Man.
And when people say, how can we fix poverty? How can we fix everything that's going on in the world, and people who are the people who don't want to be greater and just want hand doubts, And what I tell those people is, you have to fix yourself first, and you have to heal yourself first into before someone's fut before you can meet someone else halfway, and we can fix this thing as a whole. And you know, for me, it's looking yourself in the mirror and understanding that every answer you won't if you want to be successful, great, whatever you want to be, is in that mirror. And for me, I won't gonna blame anyone. I won't gonna blame anyone for me being homeless as a kid or starving. So I looked myself in the mirror and said, hey, you got all the tools, and you from the time you're six years old, you understand. I understood once I touched that fire that it was hot, so I knew right from wrong then. So it's just a it's a continuation on that and what I'm wrong with my foundation and then you know, helping disadvantage youth. Man. So uh, that's mentally. Not a lot of people can get through these hurdles, and I was fortunately, unfortunately, I was one of the ones who could. So just trying to give them a playbook on on this life, on this thing called life. Telling the name again, when your backs against the wall.
When your backs against the wall, all right, love it? Uh, last two things. So it's funny you and I had a DM exchange right a couple of months ago.
I'm like, where the fuck is this coming from? So we kind of got into it a little bit, and I want you to know from all this now you can see like, man, don't let the roommates in your head.
Don't believe what they tell you.
You know I do too all the time.
Man, I'm thinking like this motherfucker's angry at me, and I started telling these stories that aren't real.
And a lot of people love you, so.
I will know I appreciate that.
Uh.
No I knew, no, I knew you were a hard ass and your tough guy. Man. Uh, but you know it's for me, you know, when you've been misunderstood. I'm trying You're gonna One thing I got is my name. I'm trying to defend. And I know you're a tough, hard ass guy. Hey, I'm ready of the class with you. Any time.
I was just like, where the fuck is this coming? Trouble and you're like, hey, you were looking at me wrong? One damn look at you wrong? What that talking about? Say?
Man, I'm on edge all the time, so I was probably edging the ship for something else.
That's another thing man, mentally that that's those things you're talking about it and it helps, it helps right there. Man, I can't wait to use that uh coping mechanism you talked about earlier. That right there, I can. I can't wait to get back home, man, and just get that to going, because you never you never know who who's going through something and who can use that. Yeah, you just got to keep on spreading that word right there and putting that out there. Millions of other people need to know just that right there, what you told me, and may it all kind of light bulbs went off right there, and you know, just saying man, and even if people people shit everybody, I don't you don't have to be anything to have hate or to think someone hates you. Man, you can be a great guy. Like you got to start speaking that love and that uh that that that positivity into your life and putting the home around that younger you. Wait, man, I've learned a lot. Man, just uh, this is a little time right here and can't wait, so implement that. So that's good stuff.
I want you to d m me and then tell me how it's going, what you've been Well, it took me about three days and that first time and it was like it was hard. And then like that third day, it was almost like God in the universe talk to me like, no one hates you, grow for you, but we needed you to feel this kind of pain so you can help others with theirs you like in the same time when you do to see we made all your other dreams come true to keep you afloat or you haven't seen that. Once you can understand and see that and see why you're in this pain, then you'll kind of be ready to go to that next step. And then it was everything. It just changed my life, dude, and I still got working. I'm working progress. I'm a fucked up dude.
I'm a working progress.
Man.
I'm fucked up, but I'm good with my fucked up, no question.
Man.
If I didn't, if I didn't try to have good sense, Man, Jesus, I think that's on the fact that every god it's uh with doing it for you know, like we just like I said earlier, is for the other people, man, who can't handle it.
We can.
We're able to deal with that right there and still get the job. A lot of other people give up.
My last question for.
You, I asked every single guest of ours before I let him go, give me your unbreakable moment, that moment that should have broken you and didn't, and you came through the other side of that tunnel. As a result, you were stronger forever.
Man, it's uh, sure you got a luck. Yeah, it's a ton, but I would say probably uh dealing with the concussion, dealing with your depression in the darkest space I've ever been in, because I've been able to. I've been through every injury. I should have said it out. I don't know how many games and life from a young kid, but when everything you've read, everything you've seen, and you're going through that, going through that, man, and it was I'm the heaviest I've ever been, bad, out of shape, and just you're thinking about You're thinking about dying. You're just thinking about it. It's it's going to be the night every night. Your head is pounding, You're you're just you're at peace and ready to give up. But something you wouldn't let me give up. Kept fighting because I felt that it was I was doing it for other people. I was doing it for a bigger cause. So and you walk out on that balcony, walk out on your pool deck and just a breath of fresh fresh air just comes over you, and you know everything is all the baggage is off you. So just going through that time right there, it was one of the toughest coming out. On the other hand, I appreciate everything about war. I'm headed and one becoming that like you said, and it's even greater than what you thought you were chasing.
I appreciate you. I love you, dude for battle buddies. Now, if you still want to fight, man, I'm in no problem.
We're good. Hey, good dude.
Basically physically I can't get it done.
Man.
I appreciate you, and you look forward to doing it again.
Hey, tell me how it goes.
To keep in touch with me, right, and then as you're doing this journey where you're helping other people, lean on me for shit, and I'll kind of help guide you there too, And I may come lean on you for something one day too, because it's my job, man, to.
Help as many people as I can.
Most definitely, well, you definitely helped me, man. I appreciate you. I'll talk to you so. I love you. Man.
Let's keep walking this walk together.
We'll do it.