Teddi conceived naturally after struggling with infertility with her first two children. She opens up and breaks down sharing her story and the heartwrenching details.
Teddi then learns from her guests their stories and their journey. Sadie, single and over 30 decided to freeze her eggs. Michelle, 46 and a cancer survivor, used a sperm donor and is pregnant with her first. Julia, multiple miscarriages and now has triplets!
We have Dr. Green to answer all their questions and yours.
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This is Teddy Teapot. Hi, guys, welcome back. I um did a little Instagram poll where I asked everybody what they want to hear the most, okay from me, and the number one topic was they wanted to hear about IBS, infertility, miscarriages, all that kind of stuff. Because I have shared a little bit about my story, you know, through Instagram and through the show that I'm on, and so that's a topic that everybody really wanted me to dig into. I can't wait to hear your story. Well, I'm gonna try not to get super emotional about it, but I figured if we start with my story, then we can go into all the different avenues and kind of dig into the listeners questions. And then also we're gonna have some specialists on and then some other women that have gone through different things than I have and you know, really learn about everything. UM. So, just backstory in regards to me, I had been on the pill since I was about a teenager, you know, like on the pill, and then when my husband and I got engaged, I went off the pill. Not because I was trying immediately to get pregnant, but we were like all right by the time I get married, Um, I'm gonna want to start trying, and we had we had talked about that, so we but we also weren't not trying, right. But I never even was really taught that there was like a time that you ovulated and that's when you got pregnant. Like I was completely glueless. I was like, you know, because when you're younger, you're just taught don't have sex because you get pregnant, right, So I didn't realize there were certain days. So I mean, we weren't following any kind of method. We were just not not trying. And then after we got married, we were trying and trying and trying, and we learned when we when we needed to try three day window, you know. We we tried to take all the sex appeal out of it. You know, I'm like checking my temperature, doing all the things, and I'm not getting pregnant. And at first it's like it's fun and we're laughing about it and blah blah blah. And then after a while, I just started putting all this pressure on myself. I'm like, I'm still not getting pregnant, and the process started becoming like a job, like we're checking the thing that I'm checking this, and I'm checking that. I'm checking to make sure I'm ovulating. Now I'm saying if I'm getting you know, I skipped a period, blah blah blah, nothing's really happening. So I end up going to the doctor and I'm like, listen, you know, here we are. We're over six months into this, but really it's been over a year and a half into this because I haven't not been trying. And he's like, all right, well we'll start you on something called clomad. And I call this the crazy pills. Oh my god, Like I can't even tell you how crazy clomad made me. Apparently what it does is, and I'm not a doctor, but it gives you more eggs or something like that helps you release so it's all estrogen, as I think. So I don't even really know. We're gonna have to task a professional what exactly cloona it is. But I became one of those people. Like I was driving home from work. I passed Taco Bell, Okay, fine, I had to do a U turn and I couldn't, and so I called my husband hysterically crying, just so I passed it and then I couldn't do the U turn and he's like, babe, everything's good, like you're alive, Like I had no. I was having these outbursts all of the time. And so that was me on clomad for six months. Welcome to new married life, and you know, I was a disaster. Um. So that didn't work and um. Then I went back to the doctor. I'm like, listen, like, you're gonna have to put me in a straight jacket soon because I'm not good on this medication. And he's like, I think you need to go to our fertility specialists. He's like, there's nothing showing up that is wrong with you, but you're just not getting pregnant. So then I went to the fertility doctor and with my daughter Slate. He was like, all right, let's just try to We're gonna keep you on the clod and then we're gonna do a round of insimination. That works for most people. Um yeah, I don't know if he said that works for most people, but he said, let's try an insimination first, which they don't really give you all the information. When you're in there, you're like, okay, great, shouldn't be anything. So we schedule our date and when he goes into you know, Edwin has to like take care of his business. It takes forever. And I'm like, listen, buddy, I know how long this normally takes. Like let's get with the program. Here, like waiting for him, I'm ready to get insiminated. And he comes out and he's like his face is like white and he's like that's brutal in there. I'm like, what's the problem. And he's like, they have an updated the Born since the eighties and I'm like what And he is a half breaking mess like he is like I don't know that I can do that again. And I'm like, well, he's like, I mean that was brutal. He's like you're on this like crazy. There's like a couch option. It's not a good scene. But anyway, with Slate, I actually got pregnant the first time being inseminated, which was amazing, Like we were like, yeah, everything's great. Um. Then I had a very difficult pregnancy, I think because so many years of being like riding horses and doing all of that. Then I had to stop riding and I kept spotting throughout my pregnancy. So they repeatedly were putting me on bed rest, so my entire pregnancy would be Okay, you can go back to work. I couldn't ride, but I could still teach, and then I would go back on bed rest. So like I was already developing almost like a level of depression because my life was changing in a in a way that I didn't understand. Plus, for your first child, you really don't have any idea what's about to happen. Um. So I I had Slate. She was a healthy, beautiful baby girl, you know, thank you God, amazing um. And then after I had Slate, I got postpartum, and I remember being so embarrassed and ashamed. And I didn't know that that happened to people. And like there were moments where like I would search on the internet like postpartum depression, and I didn't have. I had heard about people getting postpartum and it was like they wanted to hurt their baby. I didn't have that. I just felt so down Edwin would leave for work and I would sob you know, but I didn't want to tell him that because you don't want to tell your husband. I don't know I'm gonna make it through this day, you know, and luckily, like with time, it kind of it lifted. And you know, I was so happy that that happened. But then we started trying again to have another baby, and I just it wasn't happening, went through all the steps again and we ended up needing to do IVF. And here's where, like, it just was unbelievably hard for me, because I don't know if everybody's like this, I mean most people, those people probably aren't, but like I don't like to see. I don't like when people can see me breaking down, right, So I hit it from everybody how hard it was every single time. So I would go in, I would have to harvest my eggs, then they would mix it with Edwin's and then we would do um pgs, which is the testing to make sure that you have healthy babies. And then you know, each time I would probably have one or two. Then they would put, you know, implant. I don't know if the words implant they would yeah, they would implant the baby. And then multiple times, like it was just repeated, you know, like this one didn't take it. All your numbers are, Oh, we don't know what's going to happen here. Um you now you have a killer cell, which I had never heard of before. So then they started me on blood thinners and steroids and it just was like just NonStop, and you know, you just get really stuck inside of yourself and and I know I'm gonna get heat for this, but I all I could keep thinking was what is wrong with me? Like what am I doing? Why is my body killing these babies? Like what is happening? And then like the final straw was the I was. I went in. We did another round and at this point, like everyone in my life was like this, this is getting a little it's getting a little brutal here. And I went in and I got pregnant, and it was like, yeah, this is great. And they didn't say, like, your numbers are still really low, You're still like in a danger zone. We know, we knew it was a boy because of the testing, and UM we named him UM like we were ready. And then I had a miscarriage and I remember being like what am I going to do and almost wanting to hide it from everybody in my life because I was like, they're not going to let me do this again. And like I remember, I was like, you know, I just really thought it was gonna work, and I was so excited, and I just remember feeling so broken, and I remember a call. I had a conversation with my dad and Edwyn at the same time, and they were like, you're not doing it again. You're actually going to take a break, And I said, if I can talk to the doctor and he will let me do it one more time, you guys, please just let me do it one more time, because I just I'm not I just can't imagine not trying again. I promise I can do it. I can do it. And it became this like almost obsession that I don't know why it like became this way. So then I became a totally different person, Like I was like, I am not sure one person that this is hard. I am done being upset about it because I can't let them know and pull it away. So I called my doctor with my husband on, and he was like, you know, Dr Mars. So for those of you asking who my doctor was, it was Dr Mars. I said, will you please let me do one more round? And he's like, Teddy, I don't think you're emotionally in the place to do it. And I said, please, I'm begging you one more round and then I promise, I'll take a year off, just let me do it, and he was like, I, okay, you can do one more round. And we went in and you know, everybody's mind frame was just different this time, and we went in kind of sad, like we no longer had that like life in us, like where you know this is going to happen, and uh, I it was before Christmas, so I would have found out on Christmas Day. And I didn't even tell anybody those details. I just went home for Christmas, I had the implantation. I went home for Christmas. I lived Christmas like I wasn't pregnant, like life was nothing. And I came back and I was pregnant like I was pregnant, and everything felt really, you know great, But then they're like, but your numbers are still low. So for the first you know, it was I think ten weeks, you're just kind of waiting, and then it just was that waiting game. But luckily Crews stuck and you know, he was my amazing baby boy. But then what ended up happening next to us, which I don't know that a lot of people talk about, which is actually the hardest part that we went through in regards to this whole process is when Cruz was born. So you know, we already had all of like these mixed feelings because we had to do IVF. We chose a boy. We knew, you know, all of these things that go through your mind that they shouldn't you. We just wanted a healthy baby. But like you start blaming yourself. Um, we when I was going into labor, was really long labor, and when crews finally came out, the nurse put him on my chest and I said, um, something something's wrong with him. I'm sorry, something's wrong with him. So they immediately because they saw on my record that I had postpartum was slate, they saw something was wrong with me, and they weren't really believing that something was wrong with him. And finally a nurse like, they're like, he's fine, teddy. Some kids just take a little bit longer to cry. You shouldn't have to worry about it, and it's gonna be okay. And I started screaming like it's not okay. He's not okay. And finally the nurse was like, you know what, he's not okay, like, and they called the code and the hunter. You know, Cedars is a learning hospital, so it's hundreds of doctors coming in and you know, like learning, you know whatever, they take him away from from us. He's on life support. We don't know anything. They medicate me, so I like knock out. I wake up and my husband is just sitting in the corner and like a pile of mush, like just like crying. He's like, I don't know if Cruises alive. I haven't heard from anyone. No one's told me anything. I'm just sitting here. And he's like, now I'm blaming myself because we did this and we created this bit. You know, like all of these things that are going through your mind, they are completely out of your control. And I called up to the to the nick you and I said, Hi, I'm Cruises Mom, and it's so great. You guys want to come up. Oh my god, you guys want to come up. He's still on. He's still on, you know, the breathing machine and everything like that, but you guys can't hold him, but you can see him. And um, you know, once we saw him, all of those those feelings went away. But that time where you're just really trying to figure out if your baby's okay, you go to every negative place in the world. And you know, we ended up finding out that they don't exactly know why he wasn't breathing when he was born, but he does have a heart condition, but something that can be managed, so in the end, it's all very positive. But it became a reason why, I mean, why we never thought we'd have another baby again. And that's why I mean, for those of you who do or don't know, I am nineteen weeks pregnant right now and it happened naturally, and I had no idea, and I didn't even know I was pregnant till I was nine weeks pregnant. Um, we weren't trying, you know, It's just how life works. So I know all of the ups and downs. I know so many of you guys that have struggled with the same things I have. Once I started opening up and telling people I had a miscarriage, or this happened, or this happened, or I had the killer cell or the me too, me too, me too, you know, and we don't talk about things until somebody else is going through them. And I think it's so important to know you're not alone. But um, I don't even know how to transition from. And I hope it's okay that I'm asking emotionally, how do you feel being pregnant? Are you nervous? Well, that's what everybody has been asking me, because I was so nervous the last couple of times. Also, I was in a completely different stage in my life because even with CRUs I was on bed rest multiple times as well. And going into this pregnancy, I'm able to be active because, like one, I didn't know for eight weeks, so I was active all before. You know, they say what the doctor says, as long as you start your pregnancy active, you can continue whatever you were doing prior. So I am able to eat properly, like to nourish the baby. I'm in a place where I'm taking care of myself. I'm able to move every day. I'm still able to work my jobs, change, you know, all of those things. And to be honest, I'm the least stressed about this baby than I have I was with the others. And I think it's solely because I'm like, I've done the I've done it the other way right, and I just can't do it that way again. And you don't have all of those prescriptions in your body, which so this probably feels really different. Yeah, Everyone's like, how do you not know you were pregnant? I'm like, well, when I was pregnant on the others, I was either on the clomad or the steroids or the blood thunders are, Like, I was on so much medication that I wasn't feeling the regular pregnancy symptoms. So even in those first you know, eight or nine weeks when I didn't know it was pregnant, I was like, I'm tired. But who isn't tired When you have kids and you work and you're filming a TV you know, whatever it is, you're tired. Yeah. So I mean I really feel like, I'm like, we're gonna be okay. Um, But it's definitely a different feeling that I've ever had being pregnant. So yeah, I'm just like, you know, but we were. I mean, I took nine home pregnancy tests before I went to the doctor with the phone. Wait, I just want did you postmate the practice pregnancy test to the house. Where did you go to go? To know? Like I like walk of ship, like what I went twice to go and then the third time, I asked my sistem like, can you figure me up from pregnancy tests? I just don't know that I can handle the CBS lady again my ship is I'm really judging, but I still have them all just in case I love it. Oh my gosh. So yeah, that's kind of my my story, and I I feel like when I whenever I talk about it, yes, there's people that are gonna I'm not going to say everything right, I'm going to say something that may end up offending somebody or that. But I have to be able to share my story and how I felt because there are people that are going through the same exact thing that feel really alone that I don't feel like they can open up because for whatever reason, we put this pressure on ourselves. Forever reason we don't. It's weird. You feel like if you are weak or you break down, and it's not even weak, it's just having emotions that they're going to tell you have to stop right, and it's I mean, that's brutal. When someone says, you know you're done just enough, you need time, your time to heal, and can you still It's like you took us right back there. And I think you went back there. I could feel the panic when you were like, please, Dad, please, Edwin, let me do it one more time. Yeah, like and that all these other people had sort of they want to have your best interest, but it's almost like a power over you. And that would be so because they're like, we want you to we want you to feel better, we want you to not have this hanging over you. But like in my mind I know best, like I know that like this is going to happen this time. I don't even know why I thought that. I think I was just so desperate that I was like, if I say it, and then I'm just because I promise myself. I'm like, I'm gonna be chill, I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna be fine at Christmas. I'm not gonna be bugging out. I'm not gonna be testing. I'm not gonna have a mental break at Christmas Eve, like I'm gonna And I just kind of told myself that. And then when I came back and they were like, you're you're pregnant, I was like, but then you know they still then every every day you go in to test your levels when you had repeated issues, So then it's like that mind game every single day. It only and you're like, but I was like, it's okay, that's the terrible number. You know, you just need to start like tricking yourself to try, you know, to do that. But it's I know, there are just so many people out there, and there's so many husbands also that have no idea what to do when their wife is in the state. So, um, I know we're having some different guests in and I also know that we have a ton of questions to get through, and we're kind of writing down questions as they come for the doctor because I still don't know what a killer cell is. I don't really either, because I the one thing my doctor did say is like, don't go on web md. Do you do? You're not a doctor, So quit trying to diagnose yourself over my diagnosis, because then you know, you become really crazy. Well, I wonder our killer cells common and I don't know. My guess is what happens. What I was told, but also remember I was told not in the best state, was that your body thinks that your baby is like a foreign object and it goes to like get rid of it. So that's why you need the blood thinners and the steroids. So but I mean there's been so many questions. We also need to find out about pcos A lot of people ask me about that. And then there's also just people that have a lot of questions about freezing their eggs, um when they're even when they're not ready to have a baby. So what do you do after when you don't want to use the rest of them? You have to that you have to save them like in the or you have to donate or I mean some people I think even sell. There's so many different things that like we don't even know. Yeah, I have all kinds of questions, I know, so do I. So with that, should we take a little break and then um, when we come back, I think Sadie Murray is going to come in and talk to us about her journey. Hey, so we're back with Teddy, t Pod and Jen and I are going to ask Sadie some questions because she just recently froze her eggs. So give us the deeds. What lad you to want to start freezing your eggs? Your age, give us, give us everything. So I had just um ended a relationship, you know, when I was I was I dated this guy who I thought I was going to marry, and I was thirty four when we broke up and he told me, actually, I don't think I ever want to have a family, and I felt like, are you kidding me? Like I just wasted this time with you, and it blew my mind. But it was also kind of like the fire that I needed under my ass to take control of the situation. And so I met with a doctor um in Newport Beach and I got all the info. Then I chickened out, like I made my appointment. Then I was like, no, I've got time, only thirty four. And then I went back in and he was like no, literally, like time is not on your side, like it's not like like yeah, and he was like, whether you do it with me or someone else, like you just need to know the facts, because I kind of felt like, and this is you at thirty four, Yeah, so this is I'm thirty six now, Okay. So I meet with him and he's he kind of I mean, I got over the emotional aspect of it, like this isn't the way I planned it, this isn't what I wanted necessarily, but I wanted to empower myself. Right. So then finally I turned thirty five and I'm like, all right, it's a d day. Here we go, get this over with. And I thought, you know what, and if I can do this, if I'm gonna be a mom, you have to be able to handle anything, so why not show it off now kind of a thing? Right? So, yeah, I did it. I So some of the listeners questions are, if you're going in solely to freeze your eggs, how much does it cost? Mine was about twelve thousand dollars twelve thousand, and like for your did you do it one time or multiple? I've only done it once because I got a nice amount of eggs the first, you know when I did it, But I have I have a couple of girlfriends that you know have done it twice three times. I mean, you do it as many times as you need to. And then what is the like, for lack of a better word, the storage, Like, what is the right monthly for that? I think mine is it's maybe five hundred a year, So it's not horrible. I mean, isn't that where the storage like a storage? I was thinking about this seriously. I was thinking about this the other day I was like, how are my eggs doing? I'm to st visit them. I would like to someday. Yeah, I have photos of them on my phone. It was so funny, you guys, I'm in a group text with my girlfriends from college. We're all in the same sorority and all of them are married and have you know, at least one kid. My best friend just had her third and we're all the same age. And my friends like, show me pictures if your new babies. And I'm on this group text and I'm like, are you serious? Like that's so annoying. So they're all like cute photos of like you know them, like riding bikes and stuff like that. And so I sent the actual pictures of the eggs that I got from my doctor and I was like, here are my little popsicles. So when now the you've done that, what are kind of your next thoughts? Like? Where where's your headspace? Now? I feel like, you know, big dick energy. Yeah, I feel like I have that now like when I'm now when I'm dating, like, I don't feel like I have to settle because you know, I want to get married and have a family. Now I'm walking into this chapter of my life with a sense of confidence that whether or not I use them or not, the fact that I know that I did this for myself and for my future family or for my future husband. It's making me, you know, feel like I have more options. And there's nothing better than feeling like you're more free, I think, right, because I have so many people I know that are now divorced. I mean, I'm thirty six, I was engaged at one point, broke it off, and I feel like now like statistically, I've like skipped my divorce if I was never going to have one, you know what I mean. Like I'm like, Okay, well I don't save some money, I spend it on the eggs. Um. Yeah, So I think now the next step is I mean, I'm single, I'm dating, and I'm It's funny though, I almost sometimes I have to stop myself from like telling the guy, oh hey, I throze my eggs because like, like too much, I don't want. I Also, I know that that's like a concern to like, if I'm a guy and I'm dating around, it's like, of course you're gonna want to pick the fresher eggs. Of course you're gonna go if you're younger. Yeah, sure, guys are really think I don't know date one, Like, don't bring it up on date one. I have you guys, I have brought it up on it. No. I have been like yeah, and they're like, so do mind? Like how old are you? Come back on the How to Date episode? Oh my god, Lord help us all with that. I've got so many stories. And how did you feel during the process of when you were giving yourself the shots and all of that. I was a different thing because when I was going through it, I was trying to get pregnant apparently, versus you were doing it just to make sure that I had you had the security. Yeah. Well I was a little diva about it, like I was like really afraid to I've never given myself an injection before, Like I'm not a drug addict, you know what, even like I'm just like I'm not used to it, Like I'm just I don't know, like I do get you know, injections in my face. But like that's someone else is doing it, right. This is different. This is like, oh my god, if I miss and I hit a nerve or something, what's going to happen? So I decided to make it a thing for my first shot, and I like went to Malibu and stayed the night in like at the at the Malibu beach in and I like woke up and I like prayed, and I like was like, Okay, here we go. We're doing this journey because it's like, you know, eighteen days of shots. And I grabbed my my stomach and I was like, thank god, I've gained a little weight. There's some fat there. And I just pretended like I was injecting a piece of chicken or something, and I was like, Okay, let's do this. This isn't my body. Here we go. And it was fine to YouTube video totally so many times, and then I like would I found myself like talking to the lady and I was like, is this right, And she's like it's like she's not really there. But I was like, really, it was scary. But now that you're saying that, I had totally just blocked out the memory of giving myself shots. That's the crazy thing about doing this process. Like I had given myself so many different rounds of shots that I remember I would go in and it would be crunchy in the spot because I had injected the same area, so because you know you have your comforted Yeah, okay, this spot right, jam. But then yeah, she's right, Daddy's so good about giving it in this spot, right. But after so many rounds, that spot is like you know what, f you go find a new spot? Yeah did the other side. Yeah, but I totally blacked that out until you were just saying that now. Like it was weird too, because then you get a little bit like after you've done it, maybe you're in for like a week, you're like, I'm a pro, you know, you get like a little cocky. Like I was like, I can go to this party now and then I'll just do it in the bathroom. And I did. I was like, this hasn't been to ruin my life. I mean I didn't like drink while I was doing it or anything like that, but like I it was because I did it um like around Halloween, like into November, and it was like, you know you just start like going to different people's holiday holiday stuff. Yeah, it was just more of that time, and I was like I had birthday parties and things. I was like, I'm bringing my kit, I'm bringing my needles. I talk about my purse and I did it. Would you would you consider doing another round if more time went by, or do you think if you were to meet somebody, Let's say I just had somebody in calling it calling in your now in eight weeks, so you meet somebody in eight weeks from now, you fall in love. Would you try to get pregnant naturally or would you use your younger, fresher eggs. I would try and get pregnant naturally first. I think that's ideal, and obviously I want to save those eggs, so if I because that's what my doctor said. Um, he was like, you know, you may not even use these. I have people come in and then they meet the love of their life a year later because they're just so like, there's something about being free of this, you know. Do you think you would keep them stored anyway forever? So okay. I was actually just talking about this with my one of my best guy friends. Him and his partner are talking about having kids, and he was like, we were hanging out one night. We've known each other since kindergarten, so he has the he can ask me this stuff. So we've had a little wine and he's like, I've got the energy and the courage to ask you this, Can I have one of your eggs? It's like no, I'm like, are you kidding me? That's no. No, I'm like really protective. He's like, okay, but what if you sorry, Sadie, what if you die? And I was like, You're so lucky. I'm on my second glass of wine right now, Like what in the actual okay? And I was like, actually, I was like I don't when I signed the form, you know where you say, what do you want to do with them? Like if you do pass away? Like I don't know what's going to happen in life. There were only two options, and it was either you donate them to science, to people who need them or science or what have you, and or you destroy them. I chose the latter because I just felt like that's their mind and I don't want anyone else to have them now. But I think I was hopped up on hormones when I signed it, and so now yeah, like I'm like I definitely shot, you know, but like now I totally have a different perspective, Like now I may give them to a family that like can't or my sisters, you know, that's what I'm gonna do. So that's what I'm gonna I need to, you know, obviously work it up, but I don't. Also, they shouldn't make you sign things when you're not. I was such a psychopath at the end. At the end, I was like I was. I was literally like I was great up until two days before and I called my mom and I was like, I don't know if I want to yell at people, cry or just like fall asleep. I don't know what's happening in my life right now, but like I shouldn't be driving. I told him about how I broke down going because I missed the entrance for taco, about I mean things. I swear to god, this is real. This is real. You turn the smallest thing is that for real? A full breakout my husband, and it's a talk about I couldn't find the place to you, like full break and you have to imagine he's at work. He's like, hey, babe, you good, You're not enough? Actually okay, like did you get arrested? Like what's happening up? I just wanted to be in cheese. Oh my, that is epic right there. And then you're and then I get off the phone, like it could have been nicer. Yeah, how did he offer to get me? One? Didn't he offer to leave his job and get me? And You're like, I'm not even pregnant yet, Oh my god. No. I know I had to like not go on dates during that time too, because I was good because you're already bringing up date one. I know, well you know when you do bring it up date one, and the guy's like good to know that he's probably know I And honestly, I don't care at this point, like I'm at a I'm at a place in my life where like this is me take it or leave it. Like obviously I'm not going to like roll up and like show them the photos of my eggs, but like you know, if it comes up, like I feel like I'm proud of it, Like I'm like I did this, This is so cool. And I think like you're saying, like the guy that is my guy will be like thank you for doing that, because I don't want your old eggs. But also, I mean, it's crazy even getting pregnant this time. I mean, when I went in and everything was good, he's like, well, because you are advanced maternal age. I'm thirty eight, he goes, you go and do another round of testing the insurance covers this time, and I'm like, advanced maternal you know, I didn't even like hearing those words. And like thirty eight is considered advanced geriatric. Yeah, Like, which is gotta I mean, it just puts so much pressure on people that you know, everybody's getting married later. Now. It's not like when you know, we were kids and our parents all met in high school and they all got My parents met when they were nine and eleven, they went to prom together. Like this is the stuff that we have to see. What's happening now? People are getting married in their thirties, forties, whatever. And so when you're going into the doctor advanced maternal age at thirty eight, you're like, wow, imagine going in there. And I mean when so many of my followers are like, I'm thirty seven years old and I'm trying to decide if I should freeze my age. But there's also the pressure of you know, I do freeze megs and then I don't eat somebody, and then now it's five years later and I definitely want to have a child. Yeah, do you do it on your own? Do you do it on your own. I wouldn't, but I don't think that it's I think you can't. I mean, obviously it's a six year old Sadie wouldn't write. Who knows where I'll be. I'll be like the Octo Mom. I thought about the honestly single Octo Mom Sadie. Everyone will be like, wow, that's a reality show. Then I can pay for it. Oh my god, it'll be so exciting, you know what. I'll pitch it, I'll produce. Thank you. Oh my god, I really appreciate it. Yeah, you know right now, I would be like, no, I'm I'm going I want my person. I want my person and I want to have a family with that guy. But at the same time, you know, I'm also I'm not opposed to adopting, like because I don't even know if. I mean, the eggs are viable and they're great, but like, who knows if I can carry it? Who knows? If you know, would you be open to adopting now or would you want to wait as well for that? I mean I want to wait. Yeah, and you you told me that you're I haven't adopted brother from Guatemala. I was twenty seven when my mom adopted him when he was five. Can you walk us through that process a little bit, because a lot of people were asking about adoption also in regards to from foster to adoption as well. Fostering is so important, especially you know, I'm from Detroit and I worked in the foster care, like in foster care, working with those kids as a therapist, and there are great foster pearance. Of course we always hear about the horrible stories in the news, but the majority of them do it because they love children and they want to take care of them and they want to give them stipila. How do you even get started doing something like that. It's a it's a pretty long process of background checks, interviews, um you know, uh, letters from people in your life so that you know that bouge for you as a parent, as a human, why you're doing this. They come in and check the home, They come in and observe. It's a it's a really long process because they're placing kids in these homes until they're either adopted a lot of them. You know, there's a huge percentage of kids in the foster in foster care that never get adopted, right, But these families are angels. So when my mom went to Guatemala, she had gone to Mexico and then she went to Guatemala and she was visiting to go with like a group where she was just going on. She was just going on vacation, and she visited uh An orphanage and she met Diego and he was four, he had just turned four, and it took her a year to adopt him. Very Angelina Jolia of her very I mean, you just go on vacation and pick up a kid, okay, kid, I always look for a sun hat or but sure that works too. That was sorry. I had to light in the mood of touch, just a touch. We needed you in here fifteen minutes ago. That was my reaction. She called me and she said, I fell in love with Diego in Guatemala and I'm going to bring him home. And I said, are you crazy, I'm twenty seven years old to be your kid? Yes, And she said no, no, no, no, just go to the house and go look at the photo on the counter. And so I was like, I was just why. I just felt that I was like, you already raised me? Are you? Were? You an only child of two older half sisters. But so we have different moms, so I'm her only biological child. So I was like, why don't you just go travel? Like, go travel? Don't you want to be free? And look what happened? Diego? Now I'm so close. I finally went over to the house and looked on the counter at that picture and I was like, oh, it's so cute, such a sad ending if you're like and I never spoke to I love that so much. We have so many more things we need to get into, but unfortunately have to take a little break. So I'm excited. We have a guest coming on in a second. Her name's Michelle, and she also froze her eggs, but she got pregnant with a sperm donor, which reminds me of a story from when I was seventeen, eighteen years old and I came to Los Angeles, which is so crazy considering all the things that you know, ended up happening with me trying to get pregnant and whatnot. But I was like super broke. I worked in the marrim at Cia and with a roommate, we lived in a studio apartment. You know, I was also a hostess. And I was like, really, just like, we barely have enough money to get the pink dout we're ordering, so we were like a desperation central. And I pulled open like I can't remember, like I was looking at my boss is like Hollywood reporter or whatever it was, and I saw that somebody was wanting to harvest somebody's eggs and they were going to pay ten thousand dollars for it. And I was like, I didn't talk to anybody about because I knew I was gonna get judge. But I'm like, that could be a good thing. Ten thousand dollars to me. Ten thousand dollars. People assume when they think about me that like I had a trust fund, I had all this money. I didn't. I was freaking broke. As a joke, like I didn't even have a credit card, Like it was a situation. Um. So I was like, you know what, I think I could do this. So I called the number on the thing and I'm like, hi, um, I was just curious that I saw something. I didn't say my name, thank god, but I was like, I saw that you're wanting to pay somebody for their eggs. You know, I wasn't thinking of the repercussion anything. You know, you're just a dumb kid. And the person's like, great, I just have a couple of questions for you. Do you have blue you know we pay extra for certain things. Do you have blue eyes? And like I have blue eyes? And he's like great, And then they asked a couple of other questions, you know, like a bah blah blah blah blah blah. And then everything's going well and he's like, I think we should set a meeting. Oh one last question, where'd you go to college? And I go I didn't And he goes, oh, well, actually you're no longer in contention? What what I was like? I remember I looked at my roommate and I'm like, they don't even want me, and they're not gonna want you either because you didn't go to college either. So then I actually talked to my mom and dad about it and they were like, day, what are you thinking like that? What have you lost your mind? I was like, maybe a good thing. I brought it up to you guys before I found the next at I was like, no, they would have been like laughing at me. If I was like, but can I have some money? They'd be like go kick rocks, get a third job. Um, but yeah, that was my story. But anyways, Michelle, I'm excited to hear about yours. And you are glowing, beautiful, pregnant twenty eight weeks. It's the first week of my um of my third try mystery. Wow, it's a trip, like it just popped out. It's a little boy, a little boy. Do you have a name? Pecked? You don't have to tell yet. I mean, like my friend's son wants me to name him Thelonias. I like that. So tell us a little bit about your story, like and also we have to ask all those annoying questions like how old you are and all those types of things. Okay, okay, so give it to us. Okay. Um, we'll maybe tell us how old you are and then what led you to this? Okay, I'm forty six, no way, And it's it's so weird because I don't think about age. But I froze my eggs in eleven and so how were you in I'm very bad and go to college. Um, that would be thirties seven. And I did it because I had a little store up in San Francisco and it was the recession it was really intense period in time, and I ended up getting diagnosed with cancer and it was the first thing I thought of was to freeze my eggs and UM, but it wasn't something that they suggested. It is like immediately I was like, Okay, this is going to be intense this year, and on top of it, I don't want to potentially be um sterile from this. And so I ended up freezing my eggs and and then I went through like cancer treatment up in San Francisco at ECSF and UM. And then it circled around where last year was forty five and I was like dating a guy that was a total mess, and I was like I don't have time for this, Like what am I doing here? Like I just I can't be with like a forty five year old baby, you know, Like I don't want a forty five yeld baby. And I got out of that night, but this stress, like I didn't realize I wanted a kid so badly, Like I did it. Obviously I did it froze my eggs, so it's important to me. But I kept thinking I'd meet the right person and then I UM. Last year, I was talking to a friend who's adopted a girl, a little baby girl, and she has three boys. And she's like, Hommy, that's my last name, and she's like, just have a baby and then you can meet the guy. And then just through a series of of things. That month when she said that came up, I had to pay my storage for you for my eggs. So I went to go see my doctor in San Francisco, who froze them, and he like when I walked in, he started crying and he's like, Michelle, I love seeing patients like you. It's amazing you're here. Um. I love him. His name's Mitchell Rosen in San Francisco. He's incredible. The next thing I knew, I was just on the journey of doing IVF and like it's so cool because like everything kind of panned out like where I had like cash flow come last year, like things have just been like magically like unfolding to get to this place. And it worked. So in April seventeenth this year, I had I did three transfers. I found sperm last year. Okay, I have to stop you. Yes, that was a whole other thing where I was like, I mean, did he go to college? He did? That was a PSI student, which is kind of funny. So I feel like he's in l a somewhere, but he's UM and he The funny thing is like did you see it? So you know what he looks like. I know what he looks like as a child. Oh, most of them, it's literally like Tinder. It's like it's like but you never have to go in it, like the dream come true. There's like it's a website. Well, like there's a few. So there's one UM smaller sperm bank in the East Bay that's like it was started by lesbian couples, like I don't know, fifteen years ago and right now I can't remember the name of it. So I looked at that one because I know that they really go into like looking for good character of sperm donors. And then I ended up finding my sperm at California Cryobank, which they have a huge um how much does it cost to get a sperm? So a vial of sperm is a thousand dollars? That is not that now and it's and how much how much does a vial? That I know, how much does a vial? How far does the vial go? Did a vile last you all through transfers. Yeah, so my doctor worked with me because usually they asked you to um to like get to sper sperm vials, and I just bought one and I sent it up there to him, like they have to. You have to pay extra to pay to have it frozen sent up like through FedEx or whatever. How long did it take you to pick X? Wait? Wait? How long did it take you to pick him? It took me a few weeks because it's overwhelming. So I sat down and looked. I was like whoa, Like this is a lot. And then I had to go back and regroup and look at it like a month later, and I ended up buying his sperm in September. But I went through a process of like looking there were some donors that had their adult photos, and there's like this one really cute guy that like had a master's and like production and like what seemed like very like creative, like served hiked and I was like, oh, I could date this guy. And then I heard his interview with like the like someone at the sperm bank and he had a chip on his shoulder, and I was like, if I'm going to be a single mom, like I really want like someone that's like happy joy, you know, doesn't stay on there, like if you could ever reach out to the sperm donor. So that's the other thing that helps. So like there's like literally like a thousand donors. So I like I picked filters that like narrowed down my start. So one of them was I decided to do an open downer so that if my baby wants to reach out to the dad, he could do. Now, I love your your sperm donor, he said, yeah, yeah, and almost so I won't. I don't know who he is, and we won't now until my baby is eighteen if my baby wants to reach out to him. But at least it's like another family mamber, your soul mate. Who knows, I could wait eighteen years. I've been sing all this long. Wow, I think that's so amazing that you can pick that, because that's what I was thinking, Like, when you are telling your son, it's so nice to be able to give them that option. Right when do you think you'll tell your son? I feel like right away, it's like why, I mean, I'm sure it's going to come up. I'm just kind of trusting the journey on that. I mean, this is so incredible. And then so you send it, you send it, you fed exit, you pay baxtra f and then so this is the doctor, so I he worked with me on my one sperm vile because I'm doing this sellout. So it's like it's still a lot of money. You know, how much did you spend? I think I did a spreadsheet almost like fell over. It was mind's less probably than a lot of people. But I spent about grand Yeah. Do you think you would ever do it again? I don't know. It depends because now I still have half of the sperm up north, and I have eleven eggs left because I had a huge fertility. Like when when they harvested my eggs, they took out twenty three And did you do PGF before? You didn't? And then for your you said you did three transfers. So for your first two, did you get pregnant or um? I think I had like a chemical predicate and then the second one didn't work. How what was your emotional state during that time? Now that I'm out of it and I'm pregnant, like I feel so much more. It took a few weeks into pregnancy, like maybe two months, but like I'm so much more stable, Like I don't. I don't think I realized like how emotional I was during the IVF process, because as hormones are intense, the hormones are intense. I almost felt like I shut down the world around me because I didn't want anybody to know the level of how control I was totally that. I feel like it's the pill, like during the process. You have to take the pill when you start a new cycle, and you're on it for like a month or so, and then you start doing injections or whatever. At least for me, because I wasn't taking out eggs each round already at them, the pill was crazy, Like I just feel like I got for me, it was like my thing was like depression. That's how I was as well. That turned really manifested into anxiety. I mean, it's just it's so crazy the things that we do to ourselves over things that we cannot control. On that note, we have Julia Sadler on the line, and she wrote a book called Pray Big Things, and she is a mom to triplets who struggled with infertility, and so I think it would be really interesting to get her perspective on all of this all right. Here we are back, and I think Julia Sadler is on the line. Hello, Julia, Hi, how are you going. I'm great, Thanks for coming on with us. We really appreciate for having me so nice. I thank you for having me. I was wondering if you could share a little bit about your story with us. So many people that listen to the podcast, you know, one of their main questions was like, how you know, how do you stay strong throughout having multiple miscarriages and things like that. So, I mean, I think your story will truly resonate and um, so I would. I would love to hear from you. Okay, awesome, Yeah, I mean, I think it was so interesting to experience miscarriages after becoming a professional counselor because I knew, like I knew it was important to stay close to your spouse, and I knew it was important the process of feelings. But it's just totally different knowing what you're supposed to do and then actually experiencing it. And I know that you're familiar with that pain and that struggle. But my husband and I we were we were junior high sweethearts and we've been together for a long time. And we just never had any reason to think there was any problem getting pregnant. It was just something we weren't ready to do. And so at seven, when we've been married about seven years, we decided it was time, and I got pregnant super easily, and I remember just thinking, wow, like that wasn't too hard. And just a few weeks later and up losing that first child, and we were very sad, we're very heartbroken about it. That it was so interesting how many people reached out to us since that they had had the same experience. And so while we were we were sad, but we weren't just completely in despair, and since it seemed like it was something a lot of people had gone through. But then we got pregnant again unless that child, and then a months later get pregnant again, and so three most carriages in less than six months. Did seem like something was wrong. Um, And but that was a very difficult time hellow marriage, And so we decided we weren't gonna pray super specifically. And I'd always people think it's crazy. I had always wanted multiples, That's something I'd always desired, And so we just decided we weren't going to be embarrassed God for anything that we prayed for multiples, three children, and then we went and saw our fertility doctor who and did put me on certain medication and said, yeah, yeah, make you crazy. Um it any super emotional. And we were at this retreat that week and I was like, I just need to not talk to because I was like prying during Like I mean, it wasn't even that of a story, and I was just like, oh my gosh, that's the best thing I've ever heard. I was like, Ryan, I'm actin crazy, like I can't. I don't need to hear talking to anybody. Um. Yeah. And so we were really open in us when so many people reached out and said they had had similar things. But yes, when people tell me they're taking clomad, I'm like, okay, nothing counts right now. So even creating anything yourself says or your friends, just maybe go into hanging out at home for a while. But we we did. We ended up conceiving triplets and it was just incredible, miraculous and um, very very you know, difficult road to get there, but we're very thankful for our miracle babies, which were the results of praying and fertility treatments. So after your three miscarriages, that is that when you started the clomad or were you on it throughout the entire time. No, so our doctors told them that you don't really seek medical help and tell three miscarriages, but seems like a lot to go through before you took out some help. But now it wasn't until afterwards and that I went on clomad and then some few shots that kind of helped with ovulation. Yeah, I did those as well. Um, did you what did you like I was talking about when I was either having a mischaracter, if I had a chemical pregnancy, or if I just wasn't actually getting pregnant. I just you said, you know, an important thing is to really communicate with your spouse. I was not doing that. I was really deep down inside of myself, like trying to show my emotions to anybody. Um, how how did you handle it? Yeah? So the first one, Um, I really was like, Okay, this is a test, this is a test of our replationships, Like I just need it. I need to do practice what our breach. I need to do what I know I'm supposed to do. And so the first thing, I feel like I was like, I'm sposed. Degree, I let myself gree that was honest with Ryan. But then the second one, I definitely was more discouraged afterwards, and it was very tempting to withdraw and kind of be more isolated. I definitely stopped going to baby shower. I had thirteen pregnant friends that years, I know, like Instagram friends, like real friends, and it was just like babies were everywhere. And so there's been things. I mean, I'm not at all would never say we did things perfectly. It was a very big struggle, but there are just two things. The idea that honesty creates intimacy, and so being honest with Ryan, I mean I just got out of myself and my friends just about what I was feeling and what I need. And then also just the same we say and therapy you have to feel it to heal it. And so instead of yeah, I just I didn't even come up with that, that was just something we say all the time. And so even though it's uncomfortable to be angry and it's uncomfortable to be sad, and definitely like our culture isn't like, oh, good job for grieving, you know, that's definitely not something celebrated, but just letting yourself feel what you need to feel or else it does come out in other ways, which just in the wow anxiety depression. And so I didn't do that perfectly, but I did challenge myself to let myself feel and whatever that is without judgment. So I have a question, so a lot I'm going to ask you, because you are also a counselor. I have a lot of people that have written in questions in regards to miscarriages. Um, for somebody who maybe doesn't have a relationship with God or doesn't go to church, what are some ways to heal? Like somebody's written in that they've had tens ten miscarriages behind them, you know, how do you not lose hope? Right? And if you're from that from that background, well, and everyone has a purpose and I think that regardless of what your face background is, Um, there's a reason you're here. And it's tempting not to always like to the next thing, like I'll be happy when I get pregnant, or when I get married, or when I work with teenagers a lot. So when I get into that college and they're really figuring out what this time is about and if if the future doesn't have I'm not if the futurist heaven, but if what you want, if you never hit pregnantly, if you don't get married, what can you still find purpose in for your life? And maybe those things will happen, hopefully they do, but that doesn't negate the fact that you have an incredible purpose and there is a plan for your life and searching out what that is good advice and really good advice. And in that same token, you know, oftentimes I've had friends that have miscarried, and even though I have, I still don't know the right words to say, like what do you what advice do you give to somebody, either a spouse or a friend to say to somebody who's having a miscarriage, had to miscara, you know, what is your advice on that. I do not think there's a blanket state membered that I really encourage people going through to tell people what they need because friends and spouses do feel so scared they're going to say the wrong thing, and so I don't I don't know if there's a blanket state remember what to say if you're a spouse or friend. But I think a good principle is just remembering that that person is still who they always were to For me, I'm super extroverted, So my husband knew if I'm just saying I want to stay at home, something's off here. And so remembering that that friend of that spouse is still the same person, shall has the same personality and still needs to be reached out to a ministered to in accordance with the person you've always known. And then how do you handle it if you're pregnant and your friend is having miscarriages? Because I yeah, I remember when I was struggling, I would have you know, like you're saying, with baby showers or any of those things. And it wasn't that I wasn't happy for them, right, But I remember also being like do I need to be here? And so you know how now you know now I am pregnant. So if that were to be the case for me, what do you think the best way to go about it? When a friend is you know, because that happened so much. You often get pregnant in groups and you know, like it happens and the pain is so raw and I don't want to say the wrong and especially when you're the pregnant one, you don't want to say the wrong thing to the person that isn't absolutely yes, So I think being honest is so important. Like my friends that were pregnant while we were struggling, they I mean, they would tell me, like, I'm pregnant. I know this may be hard for you, and we're still praying for you. But I just think putting stuff out there is so much better than hiding. And I found because there are people I kind of obviously got pregnant with triplets, and I had a friend I've been struggling with him for like for years, and I mean I was going to tell home, But what I've found, what I've heard and experiences that people already so isolated, so then if you don't include them, then it's just even more feeling left out. And that's I mean, that's it. I can from other people that they do want to be told, they do want to rejoice with you, and it's that's to them. I mean, it's hard to hear, but it's to us to take care of our own emotions, not us to other people. And so we have to be responsible for doing what we need to do for ourselves. But I've heard people say they they've gotten their feelings art because they haven't been included in that. So I would enclos him to tell their friends and just how they're feeling and that they remember their struggle. I found a lot of people, especially if they struggle with imfertility for years, kind of get forgotten and so it's so important to tell that when you remember and you remember their struggle. Thank you such good advice. And if you guys wanna read Julius book, it's called Pray Big Things. It's amazing and we really appreciate you taking the time to talk with us today. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. And you've got three little cutie's. I'm looking at their picture right here. Thank you. All right, going to take a little break. We have so many questions from our listeners. I printed them all out of like pages and pages, so I'm gonna try to get there as many as possible. So we're gonna bring on Dr Katherine Green. She's a board certified O B, g U, I N and reproductive and trochnologist. Dr Green. Yeah, Hi, Hi, how are you? How are you good? We're all I amped up. We have so many questions oh perfect, Um, do you mind if I just start rapid fire? Sure? No, that's not problem at all. That sounds good. Okay great. First main question that a lot of people have asked is what age should you freeze your eggs by? Is there an age it's too late? Sure? I think that's a really good question. At once that I get a lot in patents that come to see me in the office. Um, So the optimal age is really around age thirty. Um, that women should start thinking about egg freezing, um, and kind of evaluating where they're at in their life and how long it may be before they plan to have kids. Um, there isn't. Uh. As women start to get closer to forty, we do see a lower response and the eggs themselves, Um, I have a higher chance of not making a successful pregnancy. So as women approached the age of forty, that's getting kind of towards the end of the optimal window. Um. And then usually in the lower forties is when I would say she probably shouldn't shouldn't pursue that option? Wow, okay, Um? And then how do people know? I mean, for example, I didn't know that I was going to have fertility issues until I started getting pregnant. Is there a way to find that out prior? I mean I I was only eight when I think nine when I first off the pill and started trying to get pregnant. UM. Is there a way to find out in advance? So let's say you're twenty eight year years old and you're thinking, I'm nowhere near settling down and I'm not even anywhere near wanting to freeze my eggs, but I am curious about my fertility. Is that a possibility? Can you even check that? Can you find out? Yeah? I think the certain things that may point to their being UM an issue with fertility UM some women know already that maybe they had a surgery or you know, a flobbian tubermoved those things UM obviously would cause an issue with attempting pregnancy. UM. If there's heavy uterine bleeding UM or known UM issues with the uterus, which as like fibroids or polyps, which are benign growth in the uterus UM. What about endometriosis and demetriosis is very common and can impact fertility as well. So sciences of that that women might notice are painful periods. Pain with inner corpse sometimes came with bell movements. UM. Those are kind of the big questions that we ask and may suggest endometriosist um. Additionally, on ultrasound we may see signs which was a big O variant could suggest endometriosis. Is there what about STDs UM another good question? So a s TVs UM specifically the ones that caused pelvic inflammatory disease like GONERI and are the most common ones. UM can impair the fulopian tubes, So if a woman does have a history of that, it's worthwhile mentioning that to her joan the fertility doctors so they can saluate if the flobian okay. And then how long would you recommend to somebody to be off birth control before they try to get pregnant. We as a field used to think that women had to come off a couple of months before attempting pregnancy. UM, we really don't see that there needs to be that washout period. So I say, if you're thinking you want to start attempts next month, you can go ahead and just stop them right before the month you want to conceive, and then attempt right away with your next period. And do you think there's like the best birth control you know like, if you know you're gonna eventually want to have kids, should you get should you be on the pill or should you be on I don't know the ring or the I don't know all the other ones I don't know, but you Yeah, no, there's definitely a lot of options out there. I think at the end of the day. Um, it all comes down to patient preference. So your chances of fertility after being on the pill or having an iu D, for example, are not significantly different. Um. Basically, I would choose the birth control that makes the most sense to you in your lifestyle. So if someone women don't want to think about having to take a pill every day, so and that scenario and iu D may make sense. But other women don't like the idea of having something in their body, you know, in which case the pill may be better. So, UM, it's really what works best for her. Okay, now we're going to switch gears a little bit. I need to I personally need to know. And there was actually another guest on here that had the same reaction. Why does chlomad make us crazy? And what does it actually do? I need all the details. Sure, Um, so Colona is a medication. Um, as it sounds like. You know that you if you take as a pill, usually for a couple of days at the beginning of a cycle, and it can help you form a follic color more than one follicle to either time intercourse, I do intermination. The way that chlomad works is it sort of tricks your brain into thinking that there's no estrogen around and um. As a result, your brain kind of um kick start and um and stimulates the ovaries to produce follicles. So when there's no your brain thinks there's no estrogen around, then it will work harder to make the ovaries grow a follow color too. Um. So what is happening is in response to the clomad um. Since your brain thinks there's no astros in there, you can sometimes have symptoms of low estrogen. So that's what women often go through when the rage going through menopause. Correctly, yeah, exactly. So like mood changes, some conversations, complaine of headaches or vaginal dryness, that can all be a result of the way that the medicine works. Okay, and then also something that my doctor said that I had And I know this sounds crazy, but you kind I kind of like started blacking out things that were happening to me because or not to me, but things that were happening with my body because I didn't want to know because then I would start researching it. But he said, during you know, when some of my ivfs were not working, he said that I had a killer cell that refers to like natural killer cells is the cell type in our body as part of the immune system. UM. And there are some people in the fertility world that believe that immunologic causes UM may impact pregnancy rate. So if your immune system is kind of harder or an overdrive that may impair implantation or pregnancy is success. UM. We there's there's data to support both, yes, and know that it matters. So I think depending on who you talk to, you could a different answer. Okay, And then what is pc O S? Yeah, So pos PCOS stands for polycystic ovary syndrome UM. It's a condition where women have irregular menstrual cycles. UM is the most common symptom of it. They these women form multiple small um fists in the ovaries and they're not actually ovariant sist. They're really follicles in the ovaray that haven't gone away, and so what we'll see in these women is the typical presentation is irregular menstrual cycles ovariant um fists or those small follicles in the ovaries, and then often elevated levels of male hormone such as testosterone. And what this condition does is it UM prevents them from having normal ovulation every month, and so if they're not ovulating on a regular interval, stat equates to obviously difficulty and conceiving, especially if you're trying to time attempts appropriately. And if you have one of these medical conditions, will IVF or any of these fertility treatments be covered by insurance? UM? I wish it was covered more often than it is. UM. It depends on what what and the patients with if you have coverage. So we are seeing more employers offer this as a benefit UM and WET at my facility at r m A definitely work with insurance that patients have it UM, but I right now there's still a lot of patients that are unfortunately paying out of pocket. Wow. And what what is the difference between a chemical pregnancy and a topic pregnancy? UM? So, a chemical pregnancy is where we just see evidence at the patient's pregnant on her blood work, but we don't see anything on ultrasound, either in the uterus or anywhere else. UM, And a topic pregnancy is where she's definitely pregnant, we see it on blood work, but when we do the ultrasound, you can see that the pregnancy actually implanted outside of the uterus. So the most commonplace would be somewhere along the fallopian tube. UM, but we often, not often, I'm sorry, we can also see it in the ovary. How common are those to happen and are they as common as as miscarriages? UM? Definitely not as common as miscarriages, so UM miscarriages. We knows that about thirty percent of UM recognized pregnancy result in miscarriage. So UM it's miscarriage is so common, and I think women that go through that may not realize it because if it's not something people often talk about, but it is incredibly common. A topic pregnancy, the chance of that is much lower. UM. I don't have a definitive percent, but it's in the single digit so it's much less common than a miscarriage. So if you're not trying to get pregnant, you don't actually know that you're pregnant, how would you know that you're having a miscarriage. The most common sign would be U vaginal bleeding. So if you're heavy, if you know you're pregnant based on a home pregnancy test, then you haven't been able to get into see your doctor yet. If you're having a vaginal bleeding, that's something that should be should be looked at either by your physician or if it's heavy bleeding, you know, seeking more immediate care. Uh. Sometimes women will have like heavy menstrual type cramping as well. What if somebody doesn't go to the doctor, Um, if they're kind of just waiting it out at home to see what happens. I mean, I've known someone that doesn't know if they were actually pregnant, didn't actually take a pregnancy test, and they just started having, you know a lot of bleeding, and then they were like, you know what, I don't really want to know if I had one, Oh I see, um, well in less nor I mean, she she made never actually know if she doesn't go in to see somebody, if she had what a lot of women may have what they think is just a late period that's heavier than usual that you know, in theory could have been a lost So if she didn't see a doctor in that time period. Um, sometimes with the heavier bleeding, you might it might look different, or um, you might feel heavier cramps. Um. So those may all be suggestive of that, but it's hard to know without either blood test or ultrasound. And then I just have another question that people have been asking me, and I don't actually even know the answer, even though I've asked my doctor. I always I always forget to follow up. But I my first pregnancy, I was in some aid in my second was IVF, and then third just happened naturally. I wasn't trying. I didn't even realize that I was pregnant because even during the first eight weeks before I became pregnant, I was still spotting because I've never really had like a perfectly regular period. Okay, but why does that happen? And how does that happen that you need all of these you know, years and years of things and then all of a sudden you just get pregnant on your own. Right. Um. Congratulations by the way, Yeah, that that is something that we hear um from patients sometimes and obviously are UM very happy when that that does happen if patients were trying for another child, But there there isn't really anything about the treatment per se that would make you more fertile afterwards. UM. I personally think it's a combination of UM kind of a decrease in UH stressed UH autent patients seem like they're in a better place like mentally or most really and kind of just relax a little bit more. And I do think that that can impact things UM and once they kind of get a little bit more level with regards to that, UM are surprised and able to conceive. And just in closing my form, my last question before I have to wrap it up, what advice would you give to somebody who's struggling. I think it's just the big, big message would be keep holding out hope UM, and you're not alone. So there's a lot of women that experience difficulty and conceiving UM, and it's such a personal thing that not everyone will be talking about it, so it can be an isolating experience. And I do want patience to know that UM, there are ways that we can help you and to maintain a positive outlook on it and note that, um, you're not alone in experiencing this, and there's paths you can take to build your family and get the outcome that you're looking for. Thank you so much for your time. We really appreciate it. Thank you so much. It was a pleasure speaking with you. Bye bye. So now we finished up with Katherine Green. We're almost out of time. But I could tell Chuck, our engineer keeps like giving me a look, like what's going on? What do you need? Um? I hadn't, she questioned. Happened to me last week? My ex girlfriend hit me up and proposed wanting to have a child with me out of the blue. Do you like her? M hm? Hold, okay, does she want your sperm or she wants you guys to go like she wants to have a child. Okay, But I have a lot of question. Did you ask? Does that mean like are we are we like going to hook up or like that's the first question? Okay, So like take you got in two minutes? You got to tell us, all right, my fel we've been hooking up on and off for the past seven years. Well that's on you then, and I've been like literally pushing away like like, go away, go away, go away, fall in love, find somebody you fall in love with who loves you. You know what I can, I can already tell you something. But having sex with her then well no, seriously, seriously, I I have been away for a long period of time. How long? Probably about over a year? Okay, all right, that's fair. But now she wants to have a baby with you. What do you guys think Chuck should do? Please write in and let us know. I mean, I have my thoughts, but we know I'm gonna know it all, so I'm gonna hold it till next week. Thanks for listening. Subscribe to any radio or wherever you listen to podcast