This is Teddy Teapot with Hi, guys, welcome to this week's Teddy Teapot. I am floor to have on this week's guest, but Cheva Heart. Okay, guys, if you have not watched My Unorthodox Life, you are going to be thanking me for this episode because it is going to draw in all of your curiosity, your questions. You'll have to tune in. But chev is an All American lifestyle blogger, TikTok star influencer, and entrepreneur from Monster New York. She is well known in the industry as the daughter of Julia Heart, fashion designer and CEO of Elite World Group. Y'all, I gotta just say, I have questions. Let's bring her on. But Chenna is my oldest daughter. Should have been brought up in that world the longest, of course for her, it was extremely difficult. Ben and I are at a different level than you, and I think that. Ben is my husband and best friend. He is a real estate agent in the city. We got married when we were nineteen years old. Getting married that young is very common. Right after I got married, my mom decided she no longer wanted to be religious at all, and that was really challenging for me because I was brought up one way and she was basically saying, I don't believe in any of that. I'm going. I still live a very religious Jewish lifestyle, but I am obviously not where I used to be, and I've found my own way in the religion. Hello, Hi, welcome, thank you, how are you? It's so nice. It's nice to meet you too, and thank you for joining us. Don't mind me that I honestly had to listen to your name one thousand times because I'm like, I'm not gonna slaughter. I am going to nail it the first time, and I feel like I almost did it, and then I got so many corrections, no worries. Everybody always asked me how to say my name, so it's all good. I'm used to it. I used to actually like go by. When I was in school, I would tell people my name was Beth because it was easier for me, and my dad actually told me, he's like, if people can pronounce NICKI Minaj, they can figure out how to say about Sava. And ever since then, I let people butchered. It's fine, but as long as you're trying, I appreciate it. Well, it's such a beautiful name. I love it, and you are such a beautiful person and I love you on the show. So I mean, you guys are awesome. I love how open you are and sharing so many things. Speaking of names, okay, you gotta explain to me that I get a lot of heat because of my last name. But like, how were you a certain last name? Then Weinstein? Then went to Heart or how what's the story of the last names? So I have three last I go buy three last names. I have. My legal name is hen. I haven't changed my name that it was like my name from birth. My married name is Weinstein. So if I'm in like a social situation, I'll introduce myself as that. But then professionally I go by Heart. Oh perfect. So yeah, so people are always like, oh my god, you change your name. I'm like, yeah, not really, but picture people always say the same thing to me. They're like, why do you still have Melancamp in your name? Is that because of your dad? And I'm like, one, like, my dad takes a lot of pride in our last name. But my name is Teddy melancomp are ya. I took out my middle name because it was Joe, Like, I was like, I don't want Teddy Joe A that is like not I not the good look. So I was like, you know, so I get a lot on it too, but I was like, all right, let's clear it up. And I did like a little Instagram Paul I saw that you were posted it thank you, where I just like asked everybody for questions. So, I mean, they have a ton, so it's gonna be a little rapid fire. Here's a starting awful limits. But you can, you know, tell me to back off and however you want. But they're you know, they're gonna get me hard time about it later. Okay, so you currently identify as modern Orthodox. Can you explain the differences from the ultra Orthodox community you were part of versus now. Yeah. So I would say like the major differences as like we still keep like the core things like kosher, we keep shabat. But what I would say is like the major differences is like everything is just more strict and like you're just less connected, Like college isn't pushed. You know, you're supposed to get married super young, you're supposed to have babies right away. Um, so I think like those are like the major differences because I'm still modern Orthodox, so I have like a lot of the same core values and traditions that I celebrate, but just at like a more modern level. It's kind of like it's modernized as opposed to like staying a little bit more olden day, if that makes sense. Um. So I feel like the two like major things like shabat and kosher we still keep h um, just that like not as strict of a level. And what's been the hardest part of the transition for you to be like modern Orthodox or to or to leave or step away or I guess like stopping to really care about what other people thought about me? Um, I think that was like the biggest thing, just because they came from a place where I feel like judgment is really big and that's what really holds you back from anything because you don't know, like what are people going to say about you? What's your reputation going to be? Um? And I think my mom leaving I like built up a really thick skin because people would always come over to me like, oh, I'm so sorry for you, like do you know where your mom is today? Or like must be so hard for your family dealing with this and like so passive aggressive, so passive aggressive, and I'm like, you don't care about me, You just like want to get the tea and figure out what's going on and gossip to all of your friends. UM. So I really developed like a thick skin and I realized, like, why am I living my life for other people and what they think of me or what they think is right? Like let me make my own decisions, let me educate myself. Um And I think that was like something that was really hard for me to get over. But once I did that, I just like my friends were actually just telling me. They're like, you have no peer pressure, like you don't care. You do what you want to do, you don't care what about like what everyone else is doing. Um And I definitely think that's because I went through that experience, right, I had to like figure it out for myself. And what tools would you give to other people that like watch your show that are you know, living by a certain religion that you know maybe they are not agreeing with some of the rules and regulations that they have, Like how did you start to build up that confidence and you know the changes that you are making. I think the biggest thing is to realize that you're the only person who's living your life. So it's very nice for other people to have expectations or what they think is right, but at the end of the day, they're not in your shoes, they're not experiencing things. It's like when people would be like, oh, you know, you really should have a baby now, like your time is ticking, and I'm like, that's really nice to you think that, Like I'm gonna have to be the one who's up with the baby and carrying the baby and all those things, like this is my decision. Why would I let someone else pressure me into making that big life change. So I think it's changing your mindset from being someone who's thinking about what other people are going to say, and realize that this is your life. You have one life to live, so take advantage of being in charge of that. I love that so much. And just you know, I had a baby at forty, so there's you know, you got some time. Um And you know when it comes to your mom, I I saw that for a little while. You guys didn't talk when she ended up, you know, leaving what what changed in you to to kind of open up or what was the defining moment that you were like, Okay, I think that it was like had to definitely do with maturity, um, and like getting a little bit older and realizing that my mother prison. I think when we're younger, we feel like our mom is like only able to be in that hole and that's how you see um. UM. But I realizing that my mom is her own person and she went through her own experiences, UM, and she went through all these things and at the time I obviously didn't understand, but now I know after I had the conversation with her and she told me that she was suicidal. You know, no child wants to hear that. That was like really tough for me to hear and to hear my mom was so unhappy in her life that she wanted to end it. That I think was like the changing moment where I realized, like, who am I to judge what makes someone happy? Um, and the way that they leave their lives. And obviously, I'm so thankful that my mom had the courage to make a change because I'm living a completely different lifestyle because she opened my eyes to this whole world that I was closed off from and out of curiosity just you know, because so many people are struggling with mental health and suicide right now as a as a kid, could you see it at all or did you just see her as mom? I didn't see it at all. She was just like always so happy around us, like so content to us. What felt like so content in her life? She was always a mom who like would always hang out with us and do things, and like she was like the favorite of my friend group mom. So I really had no idea and not tools like goes to show you that you don't know what's going on in someone's head. They can put on this image and um, you know when people now like we'll say, well I knew your mom, Like, well, I live with my mom and I didn't know what she was going through. So it's nice that you have your opinions. Yeah, I mean I do you think that part of the ultra orthodox community breaths like perfectionism, like you should always be a certain way, like you're not allowed to be vulnerable and open or have weaknesses. Does that kind of the amount of pressure that you felt. I think like everyone's supposed to be the perfect mom, have the perfect children. Um, and I think it's like that when they're when you have like a housewife society, when everyone's just like comparing all those things, and I can't imagine. I'm sure it's extremely hard to juggle all of that. And then how long after your mom left did she like start her business and then meet your stepdad and all of those Was it fast or how did that all go down? I think it felt fast to me, but it was really a long journey. And she is having a book that's coming out in February, um, and she like talks about her whole experience and how she got there because I I mean, like that part I'm fascinated by because she was really like the stay at home mom. Um. She was always a brilliant woman, but she really educated herself through reading. I think that's what prepped her for leaving. And then um, she's she's just like works her ass off, two of them. And then how did your dad feel about like hearing you're gonna go on a television show? Like, how does he feel now all those things? Um? I think he was definitely nervous, but um him coming on. I think you really get like the full picture of my family that we are like this modern family where we all have different religious beliefs and backgrounds, um, and we still like we value family over anything else. And my parents, I'm so lucky because even though they have very different views on life, they wanted their kids to have a wholesome family life and that's like what they do. So we do holidays together, um and we're all very clue still and I think, like, that's so I'm so grateful to them because I know that. I'm sure it's not easy because they're not friends like people are like, oh, wow, your parents are so close. I'm like, no, No, they're amazing co parents and they put their children above everything else. I think that's huge, especially because how heated it can be when only you know, like not only divorce but also changing your lifestyle so dramatically, and now they're both with new people, Like I just definitely wasn't like that for me growing up. We didn't we didn't do holidays together. Onalize how it's not. It doesn't happen for most people. So I'm so thankful that my parents put their feelings aside um and just wanted us to get that family time together. In regards to you and your husband, like, how did you guys come to that. I mean, I know that you said that you got overcaring what other people thought, but how did you and your husband come to terms with like you guys were you were you were going to switch things? And how quickly after you got married, Like if like your husband kind of says like, wow, you know, it's just it's quick. You know, I married one girl and then we're done. But like everything shifted. How did you guys work through that? I mean, all marriages there's change, but how what what would you say was the defining things? So I think definitely we were like the slowest to leave. Um Like I've only been living in the city for two and a half years. Up until then, I was being in Muncie. So everything we did was very very very slow, like little tiny baby steps where I felt like other people my family took like giant steps. Um So everything we did was like very much spoken out about. So like just like you see on the show, like we talk about camps like that was a conversation we were having for like three years until I was like, okay, like this is what I'm doing. Um So I think that because like we constantly we're talking about how we were feeling what kind of life we want to live? Um, but we let want our lifestyle to be. Um. We were never on such polarizing sides, Like we always had the same core values. Um. Maybe like certain things like outwardly were different, like modesty, we had a different take on that. Um, But at the end of the day, like we both had the same values. So and we're very respectful of each other's thoughts and feelings to kind of be like, Okay, this is what I'm doing right now. I know you're not there yet, but as long as you respect me, then we can get there together. Yeah. And I mean that's that's all marriage. I think being able to talk things through and have conversations when you're not heated is huge. Um. And then what if his parents think about all his parents are still ultra orthodox correct Yeah, so UM think, God, they're very similar to my dad and they just want a happy and healthy relationship with their children. So they're very supportive. They just want us to be happy. UM. And we still talk and see them all the time, so we're very thankful for them. And then when you ultimately have a family of your own, like, how will you discuss this? You know, the changes that you made, and that the way that you grew up versus the way you're raising them, Like what do you have a plan on that? I don't really know. I think that obviously like figured out when that happens, but I definitely don't want to like dwell on my past. I think, like I would just teach them about respecting other people's cultures. Like if let's say we go to my in law's house, to be respectful of their home and how they live their lifestyle. So I think, um, just raise it, raising them with that awareness, um and trying to be respectful of other people's communities, Like when I go to Muncy, I will wear skirt and be more modest because I want to respect the location that I'm in. Right, that makes sense? And what about how does it like make you or your husband feel? I've noticed the topic of sex is like very open, like around the dinner table, you guys like your mom will just I know myself, just because if my mom or dad talked about I'm like no, no, no, da da. And I wasn't even raised like but I just from them. I'm like, I can't hear it from you guys, my friends. I can you too? Now? So how does it make you feel? Um? I definitely, like I appreciate like having a mom who's very sex positive because I came from this background where I really didn't know anything. I think I would have felt like extra lost. How did I not know that my mom would be open with me to like have a conversation like that. Um, But definitely, like I like say in the show, like I'm not down to read like her sexcapades in the book, like I thank you. So is your sex life changed since leaving the community or has it been kind of Um? I feel like it's been like it's always been pretty open because I was able to have like that line of communication with my mom to kind of educate myself. But definitely different from when I was growing up because pre marriage, like I didn't know anything. And then were you guys allowed? I mean because right now, especially with COVID and all these things, so many kids are on like iPads and phones and all. What what's the electronics rule? Um? So I guess like I didn't like when I was in high school, that's when people started getting cell phones, but they didn't have anything on them some twenty eight So I feel like we didn't. I didn't go through that like iPhone experience in high school, Like they didn't exist until I was maybe in twelfth grade, I don't know, but I didn't have one. I had like the classic flip boom and then everything. Um So I can't like honestly speak to it because I feel like technology has evolved so much in the past ten years. Um But definitely like watching TV and like movies like that was like you know later on in my life, like when I was in my teenage years, and I guess my mom was like preparing or thinking about leaving. Like we did do some of those things, but like they're very much in hiding. Like we would travel like an hour outside of Muncy to go to a movie theater because like if someone saw me there, I would be kicked out of high school. Um So, like very like I didn't watch like movies with my friends, Like that was just like a no movies, no drinking, not as a teenager but as an adults there drinking as an adult. Oh So, Like the Jewish culture does have a lot of like we have shabba, we have kiddish, like you drink some wine, but it was never like I never went to a party ever my life, and then I just saw you in Vegas. That was my first. That was like my first experience like ever like partying with people and is it what what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas or I feel like this time I did. I went with a big group of friends and like we did like you know, we had a table. It was just I think you did it the right way. Um, and it was a lot of fun. But like I never like experienced, like I never went to a house party in my life. I've never like I didn't go to like classic college or anything. Like I'm now a student at f I T. But it's a city college. Like I still tell my sister who's in Stanford, I'm like, invite me to a party, Like I want to know what that's like. No, that's so fun. Well, it's really fun to watch. We gotta take a quick break because I know we've got to get back to some other listener questions, So we'll take quick break. We'll be right back guys. During the break, guy she was saying she was a big fan, um of our Housewives. What people always ask me, is the show scripted? Is it fake? What is it? And the way I kind of always explained, it's like everything is heightened because you're being filmed and you know it is a television show, but it's all real. It's your real emotions, it's your real reactions. What would you say from you know, coming from your background to all of a sudden being on the television show. Like when people say that scripted, are you guys you know, going over the top or what are your thoughts on that? I think like, well, like what we did was really like picked on things that we actually were experiencing, like real life situations like Ben and I talking about me wearing cans or us fighting about me taking too many inso stories or just like we tried to think of like real scenarios that we actually experienced in life UM and shared those. So I feel like they feel they are authentic. Um. They feel authentic because they are authentic. UM. Definitely like there's more drama than like your natural daily life. UM, but I think like it's all it's very real. No one's telling you what to say or how to act. Um. But people aren't like waking you up in the morning with a camera in your face. Yea, And especially like trips, any of those types of things that that's and what was the biggest shocker from going from Monster to New York City. Um again, I feel like it was like for me, it was just like little baby steps that it didn't feel like so crazy of a jump because it was very gradual for us. UM. But I guess like the biggest jump, I feel like finding a group of friends that like live a modern orthodox lifestyle like I live now was like very eye opening for me because I never experienced that, like people who have religion in their life but also live worldly lives. Um. And I feel like a lot of people can relate that in like any religion, not like judy them specifically, but like Christian, Catholic, Muslim, whatever it is. Um. That like there are people who have learned to have religion and respect that but also have careers and travel and do things. UM. That was like really enlightening for me. And when your mom said like that she escaped, do you feel like that's an accurate portrayal of like do you feel like you escaped or I think because my mom, Like for us, we had my mom who was doing things, UM, so we always had that life line. But for her, she didn't know anyone, like just like I didn't know like I didn't have any non Jewish friends. I didn't have any um like not ultra orthodox friends, like I didn't have communications. So I feel like for her, like escaping is the right word, because she left beyond behind like her whole life, like every person she knew and what she was raised on, and then she came to up a complete new world where she had nothing, no ties to anyone, no education. So it felt like that escape, right, And then how how long do you think it actually took you to acclimate and feel like showing yourself on social media talking about those times of things, you know, being open, doing ads, all that type of stuff. That's a completely different world. And I know for me sometimes having other people's feedback, especially when you're making lifestyle changes, can feel really disheartening. So in those moments like how did you find your strength? So I actually never spoke about my religion. I spoke about like being Jewish, but I never spoke about my religious changes at all on my social media because I didn't want that to be a topic of discussion. I felt like if I spoke about it, then I was letting people in to give me their opinion. So I never said anything any changes I made or I just like the day I started posting in pants like, I just posted in pants like. I didn't say anything, there was no announcement, there was no this is why I'm doing this, um. And I think because I did that, I didn't get that feedback because nobody like felt comfortable saying anything to me because I never You didn't give the option, you didn't open the door for feedback. I love that. Are there any aspects of the community that you you really miss? Um? I think like all the positive aspects of like being religious, I still have in my life. So there's nothing that I would say I miss because I feel like whatever I enjoyed, I brought with me and still do. Yeah. And then how did your mom? And Sylvia me? I know that's hard when people ask me parent questions, it's always hard, But how did they mean? And having a I'm a stepmom myself, so how do you how comfortable do you feel, you know, adjusting to having you know, a step parent. So I feel like for me, like she doesn't feel like a step dad. He's like still like I know my Sylvia like my mom's husband. Just because I'm out of the house, I feel like for my little brother who lives with my mom, it's a different feeling. Um. And like he's very into photography, so we're very like we connect on that, which is really nice. Um. So we found like our own personal things to connect on. Um. And there was never at that point where we wanted our parents to get back together. So I think for us, um, it was nice because like we just wanted our parents to be happy and to see my mom really happy with Sylvia and my dad now found someone. Um. It's just like so nice as children to like have your parents find someone who makes them happy when like they're obviously in a very unhappy relationship before. So how does that work? Because your dad's still ultra orthodox but his girlfriend is more modern correct. Yeah, so he's he's coming along, you know, like when he gets married, he's moving out of Muncie. So I think it's kind of like getting out of a community that you're supposed to live a certain way. That really makes like the big difference, because like if you're living in a more modern community, like people don't judge you the same way. They're more open minded. To like whatever you choose to do or not do right. Um. Okay. Favorite and least favorite thing of filming a reality show, oh um. Favorite, I love like getting glammed and getting dressed, like I personally enjoy that. Um. At least favorite, I guess is like having uncomfortable conversations like with a camera and knowing that they're going to be like your personal feelings are going to be out there for people to watch and judge. My least favorite thing was I'm an emotional person, so, um, I'll cry, Like if I started to get emotional, I cry. But there was something about like the heat of the camera on your face get emotional, Like immediately you'd see like my chet start to get red, Like I could feel myself getting hot and I'd be like I'm sweating and all of a sudden, you just feel it right there and you're just like maybe I wouldn't cry in real life, but this heat and this closeness, like there is no way I'm going to keep it together right now, And so I was just I would completely forget that the cameras were there by the end unless I was like emotional, I'm gonna cry. Then all of a sudden they were like blaring in my face. And it's like when somebody says to you, like, don't cry, don't get upset, then all of a sudden you're like or like crying, Like when my husband says that if we're watching like a movie and it's that I'm like, every time someone says are you crying? Like that makes you want to cry? Yeah, you can't help it? Um? And how long until season two? How long we got? I will tell if if you guys are listening to this, then you want to tag at Netflix that you love the show, share with them because timetell hopefully, hopefully we'll know for sure. Se al right. Well, in closing, is there anything else you want to share with everybody where they find you, Anything that you're super proud of or excited about. Give us the deeds? Yeah, definitely check me out on social media on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, I close content daily. Um, and thank you so much for having me on. This was amazing. I appreciate you coming. Thank you well. Thanks you guys for joining this week's teddy Te pod. It was so interesting. Um and also next week I have a feeling you guys aren't gonna want to miss it because there is a certain someone that I have a feeling is going to be on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and I'm thinking you are gonna want to recap, so make sure you send in all your questions to us at Teddy t pod at I heart radio dot com, because who wasn't sure that I was going to happen again. I'll talk to you all soon. Thanks for listening. To subscribe to Teddy T pot on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcasts.

This is Teddy Teapot with Hi, guys, welcome to this week's Teddy Teapot. I am floor to have on this week's guest, but Cheva Heart. Okay, guys, if you have not watched My Unorthodox Life, you are going to be thanking me for this episode because it is going to draw in all of your curiosity, your questions. You'll have to tune in. But chev is an All American lifestyle blogger, TikTok star influencer, and entrepreneur from Monster New York. She is well known in the industry as the daughter of Julia Heart, fashion designer and CEO of Elite World Group. Y'all, I gotta just say, I have questions. Let's bring her on. But Chenna is my oldest daughter. Should have been brought up in that world the longest, of course for her, it was extremely difficult. Ben and I are at a different level than you, and I think that. Ben is my husband and best friend. He is a real estate agent in the city. We got married when we were nineteen years old. Getting married that young is very common. Right after I got married, my mom decided she no longer wanted to be religious at all, and that was really challenging for me because I was brought up one way and she was basically saying, I don't believe in any of that. I'm going. I still live a very religious Jewish lifestyle, but I am obviously not where I used to be, and I've found my own way in the religion. Hello, Hi, welcome, thank you, how are you? It's so nice. It's nice to meet you too, and thank you for joining us. Don't mind me that I honestly had to listen to your name one thousand times because I'm like, I'm not gonna slaughter. I am going to nail it the first time, and I feel like I almost did it, and then I got so many corrections, no worries. Everybody always asked me how to say my name, so it's all good. I'm used to it. I used to actually like go by. When I was in school, I would tell people my name was Beth because it was easier for me, and my dad actually told me, he's like, if people can pronounce NICKI Minaj, they can figure out how to say about Sava. And ever since then, I let people butchered. It's fine, but as long as you're trying, I appreciate it. Well, it's such a beautiful name. I love it, and you are such a beautiful person and I love you on the show. So I mean, you guys are awesome. I love how open you are and sharing so many things. Speaking of names, okay, you gotta explain to me that I get a lot of heat because of my last name. But like, how were you a certain last name? Then Weinstein? Then went to Heart or how what's the story of the last names? So I have three last I go buy three last names. I have. My legal name is hen. I haven't changed my name that it was like my name from birth. My married name is Weinstein. So if I'm in like a social situation, I'll introduce myself as that. But then professionally I go by Heart. Oh perfect. So yeah, so people are always like, oh my god, you change your name. I'm like, yeah, not really, but picture people always say the same thing to me. They're like, why do you still have Melancamp in your name? Is that because of your dad? And I'm like, one, like, my dad takes a lot of pride in our last name. But my name is Teddy melancomp are ya. I took out my middle name because it was Joe, Like, I was like, I don't want Teddy Joe A that is like not I not the good look. So I was like, you know, so I get a lot on it too, but I was like, all right, let's clear it up. And I did like a little Instagram Paul I saw that you were posted it thank you, where I just like asked everybody for questions. So, I mean, they have a ton, so it's gonna be a little rapid fire. Here's a starting awful limits. But you can, you know, tell me to back off and however you want. But they're you know, they're gonna get me hard time about it later. Okay, so you currently identify as modern Orthodox. Can you explain the differences from the ultra Orthodox community you were part of versus now. Yeah. So I would say like the major differences as like we still keep like the core things like kosher, we keep shabat. But what I would say is like the major differences is like everything is just more strict and like you're just less connected, Like college isn't pushed. You know, you're supposed to get married super young, you're supposed to have babies right away. Um, so I think like those are like the major differences because I'm still modern Orthodox, so I have like a lot of the same core values and traditions that I celebrate, but just at like a more modern level. It's kind of like it's modernized as opposed to like staying a little bit more olden day, if that makes sense. Um. So I feel like the two like major things like shabat and kosher we still keep h um, just that like not as strict of a level. And what's been the hardest part of the transition for you to be like modern Orthodox or to or to leave or step away or I guess like stopping to really care about what other people thought about me? Um, I think that was like the biggest thing, just because they came from a place where I feel like judgment is really big and that's what really holds you back from anything because you don't know, like what are people going to say about you? What's your reputation going to be? Um? And I think my mom leaving I like built up a really thick skin because people would always come over to me like, oh, I'm so sorry for you, like do you know where your mom is today? Or like must be so hard for your family dealing with this and like so passive aggressive, so passive aggressive, and I'm like, you don't care about me, You just like want to get the tea and figure out what's going on and gossip to all of your friends. UM. So I really developed like a thick skin and I realized, like, why am I living my life for other people and what they think of me or what they think is right? Like let me make my own decisions, let me educate myself. Um And I think that was like something that was really hard for me to get over. But once I did that, I just like my friends were actually just telling me. They're like, you have no peer pressure, like you don't care. You do what you want to do, you don't care what about like what everyone else is doing. Um And I definitely think that's because I went through that experience, right, I had to like figure it out for myself. And what tools would you give to other people that like watch your show that are you know, living by a certain religion that you know maybe they are not agreeing with some of the rules and regulations that they have, Like how did you start to build up that confidence and you know the changes that you are making. I think the biggest thing is to realize that you're the only person who's living your life. So it's very nice for other people to have expectations or what they think is right, but at the end of the day, they're not in your shoes, they're not experiencing things. It's like when people would be like, oh, you know, you really should have a baby now, like your time is ticking, and I'm like, that's really nice to you think that, Like I'm gonna have to be the one who's up with the baby and carrying the baby and all those things, like this is my decision. Why would I let someone else pressure me into making that big life change. So I think it's changing your mindset from being someone who's thinking about what other people are going to say, and realize that this is your life. You have one life to live, so take advantage of being in charge of that. I love that so much. And just you know, I had a baby at forty, so there's you know, you got some time. Um And you know when it comes to your mom, I I saw that for a little while. You guys didn't talk when she ended up, you know, leaving what what changed in you to to kind of open up or what was the defining moment that you were like, Okay, I think that it was like had to definitely do with maturity, um, and like getting a little bit older and realizing that my mother prison. I think when we're younger, we feel like our mom is like only able to be in that hole and that's how you see um. UM. But I realizing that my mom is her own person and she went through her own experiences, UM, and she went through all these things and at the time I obviously didn't understand, but now I know after I had the conversation with her and she told me that she was suicidal. You know, no child wants to hear that. That was like really tough for me to hear and to hear my mom was so unhappy in her life that she wanted to end it. That I think was like the changing moment where I realized, like, who am I to judge what makes someone happy? Um, and the way that they leave their lives. And obviously, I'm so thankful that my mom had the courage to make a change because I'm living a completely different lifestyle because she opened my eyes to this whole world that I was closed off from and out of curiosity just you know, because so many people are struggling with mental health and suicide right now as a as a kid, could you see it at all or did you just see her as mom? I didn't see it at all. She was just like always so happy around us, like so content to us. What felt like so content in her life? She was always a mom who like would always hang out with us and do things, and like she was like the favorite of my friend group mom. So I really had no idea and not tools like goes to show you that you don't know what's going on in someone's head. They can put on this image and um, you know when people now like we'll say, well I knew your mom, Like, well, I live with my mom and I didn't know what she was going through. So it's nice that you have your opinions. Yeah, I mean I do you think that part of the ultra orthodox community breaths like perfectionism, like you should always be a certain way, like you're not allowed to be vulnerable and open or have weaknesses. Does that kind of the amount of pressure that you felt. I think like everyone's supposed to be the perfect mom, have the perfect children. Um, and I think it's like that when they're when you have like a housewife society, when everyone's just like comparing all those things, and I can't imagine. I'm sure it's extremely hard to juggle all of that. And then how long after your mom left did she like start her business and then meet your stepdad and all of those Was it fast or how did that all go down? I think it felt fast to me, but it was really a long journey. And she is having a book that's coming out in February, um, and she like talks about her whole experience and how she got there because I I mean, like that part I'm fascinated by because she was really like the stay at home mom. Um. She was always a brilliant woman, but she really educated herself through reading. I think that's what prepped her for leaving. And then um, she's she's just like works her ass off, two of them. And then how did your dad feel about like hearing you're gonna go on a television show? Like, how does he feel now all those things? Um? I think he was definitely nervous, but um him coming on. I think you really get like the full picture of my family that we are like this modern family where we all have different religious beliefs and backgrounds, um, and we still like we value family over anything else. And my parents, I'm so lucky because even though they have very different views on life, they wanted their kids to have a wholesome family life and that's like what they do. So we do holidays together, um and we're all very clue still and I think, like, that's so I'm so grateful to them because I know that. I'm sure it's not easy because they're not friends like people are like, oh, wow, your parents are so close. I'm like, no, No, they're amazing co parents and they put their children above everything else. I think that's huge, especially because how heated it can be when only you know, like not only divorce but also changing your lifestyle so dramatically, and now they're both with new people, Like I just definitely wasn't like that for me growing up. We didn't we didn't do holidays together. Onalize how it's not. It doesn't happen for most people. So I'm so thankful that my parents put their feelings aside um and just wanted us to get that family time together. In regards to you and your husband, like, how did you guys come to that. I mean, I know that you said that you got overcaring what other people thought, but how did you and your husband come to terms with like you guys were you were you were going to switch things? And how quickly after you got married, Like if like your husband kind of says like, wow, you know, it's just it's quick. You know, I married one girl and then we're done. But like everything shifted. How did you guys work through that? I mean, all marriages there's change, but how what what would you say was the defining things? So I think definitely we were like the slowest to leave. Um Like I've only been living in the city for two and a half years. Up until then, I was being in Muncie. So everything we did was very very very slow, like little tiny baby steps where I felt like other people my family took like giant steps. Um So everything we did was like very much spoken out about. So like just like you see on the show, like we talk about camps like that was a conversation we were having for like three years until I was like, okay, like this is what I'm doing. Um So I think that because like we constantly we're talking about how we were feeling what kind of life we want to live? Um, but we let want our lifestyle to be. Um. We were never on such polarizing sides, Like we always had the same core values. Um. Maybe like certain things like outwardly were different, like modesty, we had a different take on that. Um, But at the end of the day, like we both had the same values. So and we're very respectful of each other's thoughts and feelings to kind of be like, Okay, this is what I'm doing right now. I know you're not there yet, but as long as you respect me, then we can get there together. Yeah. And I mean that's that's all marriage. I think being able to talk things through and have conversations when you're not heated is huge. Um. And then what if his parents think about all his parents are still ultra orthodox correct Yeah, so UM think, God, they're very similar to my dad and they just want a happy and healthy relationship with their children. So they're very supportive. They just want us to be happy. UM. And we still talk and see them all the time, so we're very thankful for them. And then when you ultimately have a family of your own, like, how will you discuss this? You know, the changes that you made, and that the way that you grew up versus the way you're raising them, Like what do you have a plan on that? I don't really know. I think that obviously like figured out when that happens, but I definitely don't want to like dwell on my past. I think, like I would just teach them about respecting other people's cultures. Like if let's say we go to my in law's house, to be respectful of their home and how they live their lifestyle. So I think, um, just raise it, raising them with that awareness, um and trying to be respectful of other people's communities, Like when I go to Muncy, I will wear skirt and be more modest because I want to respect the location that I'm in. Right, that makes sense? And what about how does it like make you or your husband feel? I've noticed the topic of sex is like very open, like around the dinner table, you guys like your mom will just I know myself, just because if my mom or dad talked about I'm like no, no, no, da da. And I wasn't even raised like but I just from them. I'm like, I can't hear it from you guys, my friends. I can you too? Now? So how does it make you feel? Um? I definitely, like I appreciate like having a mom who's very sex positive because I came from this background where I really didn't know anything. I think I would have felt like extra lost. How did I not know that my mom would be open with me to like have a conversation like that. Um, But definitely, like I like say in the show, like I'm not down to read like her sexcapades in the book, like I thank you. So is your sex life changed since leaving the community or has it been kind of Um? I feel like it's been like it's always been pretty open because I was able to have like that line of communication with my mom to kind of educate myself. But definitely different from when I was growing up because pre marriage, like I didn't know anything. And then were you guys allowed? I mean because right now, especially with COVID and all these things, so many kids are on like iPads and phones and all. What what's the electronics rule? Um? So I guess like I didn't like when I was in high school, that's when people started getting cell phones, but they didn't have anything on them some twenty eight So I feel like we didn't. I didn't go through that like iPhone experience in high school, Like they didn't exist until I was maybe in twelfth grade, I don't know, but I didn't have one. I had like the classic flip boom and then everything. Um So I can't like honestly speak to it because I feel like technology has evolved so much in the past ten years. Um But definitely like watching TV and like movies like that was like you know later on in my life, like when I was in my teenage years, and I guess my mom was like preparing or thinking about leaving. Like we did do some of those things, but like they're very much in hiding. Like we would travel like an hour outside of Muncy to go to a movie theater because like if someone saw me there, I would be kicked out of high school. Um So, like very like I didn't watch like movies with my friends, Like that was just like a no movies, no drinking, not as a teenager but as an adults there drinking as an adult. Oh So, Like the Jewish culture does have a lot of like we have shabba, we have kiddish, like you drink some wine, but it was never like I never went to a party ever my life, and then I just saw you in Vegas. That was my first. That was like my first experience like ever like partying with people and is it what what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas or I feel like this time I did. I went with a big group of friends and like we did like you know, we had a table. It was just I think you did it the right way. Um, and it was a lot of fun. But like I never like experienced, like I never went to a house party in my life. I've never like I didn't go to like classic college or anything. Like I'm now a student at f I T. But it's a city college. Like I still tell my sister who's in Stanford, I'm like, invite me to a party, Like I want to know what that's like. No, that's so fun. Well, it's really fun to watch. We gotta take a quick break because I know we've got to get back to some other listener questions, So we'll take quick break. We'll be right back guys. During the break, guy she was saying she was a big fan, um of our Housewives. What people always ask me, is the show scripted? Is it fake? What is it? And the way I kind of always explained, it's like everything is heightened because you're being filmed and you know it is a television show, but it's all real. It's your real emotions, it's your real reactions. What would you say from you know, coming from your background to all of a sudden being on the television show. Like when people say that scripted, are you guys you know, going over the top or what are your thoughts on that? I think like, well, like what we did was really like picked on things that we actually were experiencing, like real life situations like Ben and I talking about me wearing cans or us fighting about me taking too many inso stories or just like we tried to think of like real scenarios that we actually experienced in life UM and shared those. So I feel like they feel they are authentic. Um. They feel authentic because they are authentic. UM. Definitely like there's more drama than like your natural daily life. UM, but I think like it's all it's very real. No one's telling you what to say or how to act. Um. But people aren't like waking you up in the morning with a camera in your face. Yea, And especially like trips, any of those types of things that that's and what was the biggest shocker from going from Monster to New York City. Um again, I feel like it was like for me, it was just like little baby steps that it didn't feel like so crazy of a jump because it was very gradual for us. UM. But I guess like the biggest jump, I feel like finding a group of friends that like live a modern orthodox lifestyle like I live now was like very eye opening for me because I never experienced that, like people who have religion in their life but also live worldly lives. Um. And I feel like a lot of people can relate that in like any religion, not like judy them specifically, but like Christian, Catholic, Muslim, whatever it is. Um. That like there are people who have learned to have religion and respect that but also have careers and travel and do things. UM. That was like really enlightening for me. And when your mom said like that she escaped, do you feel like that's an accurate portrayal of like do you feel like you escaped or I think because my mom, Like for us, we had my mom who was doing things, UM, so we always had that life line. But for her, she didn't know anyone, like just like I didn't know like I didn't have any non Jewish friends. I didn't have any um like not ultra orthodox friends, like I didn't have communications. So I feel like for her, like escaping is the right word, because she left beyond behind like her whole life, like every person she knew and what she was raised on, and then she came to up a complete new world where she had nothing, no ties to anyone, no education. So it felt like that escape, right, And then how how long do you think it actually took you to acclimate and feel like showing yourself on social media talking about those times of things, you know, being open, doing ads, all that type of stuff. That's a completely different world. And I know for me sometimes having other people's feedback, especially when you're making lifestyle changes, can feel really disheartening. So in those moments like how did you find your strength? So I actually never spoke about my religion. I spoke about like being Jewish, but I never spoke about my religious changes at all on my social media because I didn't want that to be a topic of discussion. I felt like if I spoke about it, then I was letting people in to give me their opinion. So I never said anything any changes I made or I just like the day I started posting in pants like, I just posted in pants like. I didn't say anything, there was no announcement, there was no this is why I'm doing this, um. And I think because I did that, I didn't get that feedback because nobody like felt comfortable saying anything to me because I never You didn't give the option, you didn't open the door for feedback. I love that. Are there any aspects of the community that you you really miss? Um? I think like all the positive aspects of like being religious, I still have in my life. So there's nothing that I would say I miss because I feel like whatever I enjoyed, I brought with me and still do. Yeah. And then how did your mom? And Sylvia me? I know that's hard when people ask me parent questions, it's always hard, But how did they mean? And having a I'm a stepmom myself, so how do you how comfortable do you feel, you know, adjusting to having you know, a step parent. So I feel like for me, like she doesn't feel like a step dad. He's like still like I know my Sylvia like my mom's husband. Just because I'm out of the house, I feel like for my little brother who lives with my mom, it's a different feeling. Um. And like he's very into photography, so we're very like we connect on that, which is really nice. Um. So we found like our own personal things to connect on. Um. And there was never at that point where we wanted our parents to get back together. So I think for us, um, it was nice because like we just wanted our parents to be happy and to see my mom really happy with Sylvia and my dad now found someone. Um. It's just like so nice as children to like have your parents find someone who makes them happy when like they're obviously in a very unhappy relationship before. So how does that work? Because your dad's still ultra orthodox but his girlfriend is more modern correct. Yeah, so he's he's coming along, you know, like when he gets married, he's moving out of Muncie. So I think it's kind of like getting out of a community that you're supposed to live a certain way. That really makes like the big difference, because like if you're living in a more modern community, like people don't judge you the same way. They're more open minded. To like whatever you choose to do or not do right. Um. Okay. Favorite and least favorite thing of filming a reality show, oh um. Favorite, I love like getting glammed and getting dressed, like I personally enjoy that. Um. At least favorite, I guess is like having uncomfortable conversations like with a camera and knowing that they're going to be like your personal feelings are going to be out there for people to watch and judge. My least favorite thing was I'm an emotional person, so, um, I'll cry, Like if I started to get emotional, I cry. But there was something about like the heat of the camera on your face get emotional, Like immediately you'd see like my chet start to get red, Like I could feel myself getting hot and I'd be like I'm sweating and all of a sudden, you just feel it right there and you're just like maybe I wouldn't cry in real life, but this heat and this closeness, like there is no way I'm going to keep it together right now, And so I was just I would completely forget that the cameras were there by the end unless I was like emotional, I'm gonna cry. Then all of a sudden they were like blaring in my face. And it's like when somebody says to you, like, don't cry, don't get upset, then all of a sudden you're like or like crying, Like when my husband says that if we're watching like a movie and it's that I'm like, every time someone says are you crying? Like that makes you want to cry? Yeah, you can't help it? Um? And how long until season two? How long we got? I will tell if if you guys are listening to this, then you want to tag at Netflix that you love the show, share with them because timetell hopefully, hopefully we'll know for sure. Se al right. Well, in closing, is there anything else you want to share with everybody where they find you, Anything that you're super proud of or excited about. Give us the deeds? Yeah, definitely check me out on social media on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, I close content daily. Um, and thank you so much for having me on. This was amazing. I appreciate you coming. Thank you well. Thanks you guys for joining this week's teddy Te pod. It was so interesting. Um and also next week I have a feeling you guys aren't gonna want to miss it because there is a certain someone that I have a feeling is going to be on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and I'm thinking you are gonna want to recap, so make sure you send in all your questions to us at Teddy t pod at I heart radio dot com, because who wasn't sure that I was going to happen again. I'll talk to you all soon. Thanks for listening. To subscribe to Teddy T pot on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcasts.