Do you have a hard time letting stuff go and the boxes and piles of stuff just keep adding up? Yep, we do!
Jackie and Jenn discuss with Lauren and Nicki from Neat Freaks Home on how to emotionally detach from your things, organize your closet, and advice on how to create a calmer home.
Hi, guys. It's Jen Fessler and Jackie Golschneider and we are two Jersey Jays. Yes we are, Jen. How are you? I am well, how are you? You had a big night last night?
Last night I had I hosted the National Eating Disorder Association Gala, which was such an amazing moment. I keep wanting to call it full circle, but full circle means you started, you end up at the place that you started, So it's not but it's uh, it was amazing. It's definitely like when I was, you know, very sick for so long. It's NITO was an organization that I looked to and so to now be like on the other side of this illness and hosting the gala, it was really special.
It was beautiful. It's really beautiful. I'm so proud of you. Seriously, I mean, I know, maybe it's not full circle for you, but full circle and maybe in terms of helping people that are still struggling like you were, I don't know, Yeah, I know it sounds cliche.
I do feel like that's my purpose, Like if they're there is a reason for all of this or any of this or all the years I struggled or the reason why I have a platform. I do think it's to help people not have to live like I lived.
But because it's so hard to hear the stories. Is it hard to hear the stories? Jack, Does it bring you back? No?
No, I have no like triggers in terms of other people struggling.
It doesn't like set me off. I don't mean it like that, but it just means me so it must resonate with you. It's it's sad.
I like I want it to almost like shake them and be like it's so much better like without.
It, you know, it's not the way it works.
Yeah.
No, A lot were parents of people whose struggle. A lot were people who turned to NITA thirty years ago and then decided to get involved and have been on the board.
There was a wide variety.
A lot of people there were recovered and just had had you know, had you used NITA through the years to recover. So it was a wide mix of people. But it was a really nice It.
Was the first time we met. I don't and you don't even remember meeting me there, but I remember meeting you. It was at the dress for a success event. Of course I remember meeting you. You ate you came with a big suitcase full shoes, shoes and majors. But also I just remember you speaking this room full of women who had either been incarcerated or were coming out of such you know, severe poverty and rest for success. It's this amazing organization obviously that helps them to get jobs and interview skills and so. But you spoke, and you were able to connect so beautifully with these women, and you know, you have never been obviously incarcerated, and you didn't grow up in poverty, but you were able to go out your own Everybody obviously has trauma in their life, and everybody goes through stuff. But I just I will never forget thinking that you were just such an amazing speaker and also had such a great ability to connect with these women who hadn't gone through you know, you hadn't gone through what they had. But so I can only imagine you talking to people who have gone through the similar struggles. You know, must have been so great for them.
Yeah, I mean I do love public speaking. Maybe that's why I love podcasting, or maybe I just have a.
Great co host. So yes, it's all me. You get it from me.
Crazy News Day. Uh, you know this will air a few days after we record. But yesterday I saw that Liam Payne died. That's that's crazy. Whenever a young person with so much talent dies, it just it breaks my heart.
It showed like him snapchat not snapchatting, what is it called? Yeah, it was snapchat as it's not. I kept up with his crap, but like right before and he was so lucid, and I guess he had a He had a woman that he was having breakfast with and they were just chit chatting, and then an hour later or something, it all turned yea addiction socks man, life can change? Really? Did he have addiction issues? I knew nothing about it. That's why I don't know for sure, because he's been alleged. I don't know, but I mean, that's what they're saying on the news that he struggled for years.
Thirty one years old time. You know, don't sweat the small stuff. That was a book, right, Did you ever read that?
You know? A book I bought the other day.
I went through a want to change my life little like thing the other day and I ran the Barnes and Noble and I bought this book called Atomic Habits.
Did you ever read it, No, never heard of it.
It is phenomenal, really like the number one self help book in the world. It's about making really small changes to your habits and uh them compiling into these amazing life changes. It's really good.
But speaking of that, yes, I was going to say, you are teeing beautifully.
Yeah, it sort of like translates into what we're talking about today, So why don't you take it away?
So you guys were actually very excited about today's episode, and I know that both of us, actually Jackie, feel like we're going to get a lot out of this one because we're talking about chaos, about home organizing, about stuff, having too much of it, how to deal with it. And I know, because we've spoken about it, Jackie, that we both suffer from Maybe we're not hoarders, but I have a very hard time throwing things away and as a result, really hard time. Yep. And as a result, you know, you walk into my house, my house is neat, and you know, from what you can see, everything has a place. Just don't open a drawer or go into my basement, because that's what I do. I just actually just avoid the basement at all costs because it just depresses me, even mind I get closet for friends.
Remember they had that closet where you open it and like everything would just come falling out.
Yes, that was my locker in high school, and I remember being so and it is funny, but I remember just being so embarrassed by it. Like everybody else and my friends, it was funny to all of us, but it wasn't really funny. Like I remember going to just to shove stuff in and pull out and I couldn't find anything, and it was kind of depressing, you know, it was not like that happily anymore. It's not you know, it's not I think that was probably also about a little bit of depression as a teenager.
But anyway, you know, it's hard because there's I don't know where the line is. So like I have some friends who are like, ugh, I throw everything out. I I throw it out while people are still using it, Like I do.
I have no problem. I hate stuff.
And then I have other people who are like me, where everything you see the sentimental value in everything, you see the potential future use in everything, and it's just hard, you know. So one of the reasons why this is so pertinent to middle aged women specifically, is because we are that sand which generation where we have we're taking care of parents and children, and even if your children are not in the home anymore, you're still you still have all of your kids stuff. They're not that old, right, they're like either teenagers or early twenties.
And your parents they're old, but you have all of their stuff, you know, So we just not just not just parents either. Yeah. So because I don't know if you have this, Jack, but because in my family, I have the biggest home. Like so Thanksgiving is always here, there's like usually thirty people here. But also, like you know, my mom and my cousins, they all live in very nice homes, but they're just not as spacious. So for whatever reason, my house and my sister lives in an apartment, my house became the place to just bring things. Jen, Can you store this in your basement in your garage? Obviously the ANSWER's always yes. But as a result, I've got you have like my aunt mom, Mom is a twin so my mom is Marilyn Carolyn's first wedding album album. And I realized it last Thanksgiving when everyone was here, I was like, who wants to see and Ka's wedding, Like it's so ridiculous that I have not just it's not just my mom's stuff. It's my cousin's old pictures and boxes and boxes of you know, my sister and I and our stuff when we were you know, in elementary school and and like that my mom just gives to me. So, yes, this is my house has a lot of memorabilia stuff. Some of it I wish I could throw out some of it. I just can't bring myself to, I know. And what was it like growing up for you? Where you was your mom? Like did she keep everything? Or was she? My mom is in a neat freak for sure, so I don't remember, you know, necessarily that she kept everything, But I do remember everything was always super organized even now, like you know, back in the day. I don't know, depending upon what age our listeners are right now, but we actually used to take these things called pictures and put them into these is called photo albums, and then we would like take this piece of plastic and fold it over the pictures. I used to scrap book.
I actually used to really scrap book, like with the microts, like ribbon stuff really everything.
Yeah, you got to see some of my albums. I used to love it well so, but my mom always had all of her albums, you know, piled up with everything was written down underneath the picture was the date of it, you know, Jen's first. I don't know tooth like even all of that. So I was never good at that as a result. So my mom, yes, so he's organized. She didn't throw that much away. But now I am not like that, And so I have like these boxes pictures and stuff from school, from the everything that I saved, and it's sticking together and I just never want to actually take it on.
I have boxes that I haven't unpacked from when I moved eleven years ago for my house. I put them right into like my basement storage area and just never yeah, I.
Mean, but they're like, look at it.
I have like hospital records, I have like of like my kids being born. I don't can't bring myself to throw that stuff out.
I have my law school books, like I don't know what to do with them. You know, you ever thought it's good, it's good. Yeah. When I think about like our next step, I'm talking about me and Jeff, and you know, when we're done living in suburbia in this colonial we want to go. I just keep thinking, I want to go somewhere easy, small, light and bright without stuff. I don't want any stuff now, of course everybody I'm going to have stuff, but like that's what I picture because going even going into my basement and I and seeing the stuff puts me in a bad mood. I don't like.
I know, I do feel a lot better when I clean something out. Sometimes it feels like a big waste of time to me, though, which is something that I need to get past because it is time worthy. But I just have a really hard time, like I have, specifically a very hard time. So you're on the opposite end of this problem. So in the past year, I've gained weight, you've lost a lot of weight.
What.
I have a lot of clothes in my closet that just don't won't even go over my thigh and I want to get rid of them, and I know I should get rid of them, but they're expensive, beautiful clothing.
I don't know what to do with it. I don't want to like randomly put it in a bag and send it off in a truck, you know, because it's beautiful.
Clothing and I don't want to get started like selling on eBay. I don't know what to do with any of this stuff.
No, I do with it.
I mean, I have the same problem. But I've definitely like I've I've gotten rid of a lot, and partially because my daughter, who is twenty two, when she is in need of money, goes through my closet, asks me what I want when I don't, and then she sells. So it's oh, amazing, Yeah, where does she sell it? Yeah, I mean you're asking the wrong girl. Honey, I'll give you Rachel's number. She'll sell your stuff too, if you'd like. I wish I'll keep the money. Do you have a lot of things from when your kids were babies? I have a lot, of course, I have a lot of stuff. But you know, I can get into a moon and then all of a sudden just kind of get rid. Just I'm in the mood of just cleaning it out and get a big old garbage bag, and and I never think about it again once I get rid of it. You know, I'd have like maybe what I brought Rachel home and Jack home, you know, from the hospital, and I have that, but I don't keep and keep like all of their clothes or but certainly their first blankets, but not much. I mean I keep saying to myself, like, you have a lot I don't do. And I smell them. I know it's so bad. I go down sometimes and smell them. Oh but they still smell smell like my babies, they do.
I used to use this lotion from Mastella and I used it on all four of my kids throughout their entire like childhood, until they were like ten years old.
Right. It was the lotion after the.
Shower, and their clothes sometimes still smell like it. I mean I washed their clothes, but obviously makes me sad sometimes then you think, like are the kids going to want to see all their stuff? Like are they going to get older and want to see all of their paperwork from you know, fourth grade? I have mine because my mother saved it, right, But do I spend time going through my mister Hamlin's class in fourth grade? And no, I just don't, you know, So it's like collecting dust down there. And then when my in laws passed also there was they had so much stuff, right, but like.
Did you have to go through that and take care? Yeah? Yeah, because my sister in law is in Atlanta, so yes, and there were things that I knew, and I asked the family, you know, you guys want this? Do you guys want that? But there's so many pictures, and I don't know. I don't know that it'd be great for my kids to have pictures of their grandparents and their kids to have pictures, but like how many is necessary? You know? Yeah, I don't know, well, but we I know, Well, that's a good question.
I feel like if I had a change of mindset, which I'm hoping that our guests today it can do for me a change of mindset. And also like a strategy, a better strategy than just like you know, get three bags and make one to be you know, throw out one to donate.
Like that is a lot of effort.
Like if if there was a strategy of like like I heard someone say once and I'll bring this up again, if you can get rid of something and if you can replace something for less than twenty dollars in less than twenty minutes and you haven't used it in a year, throw it out.
And I like strategies like that. You know what I'm saying, I'm interested in, Like what that breaking that down. So if you can replace it, I mean, we're talking about it easy.
But let's say you have a let's say you have a book that you haven't read and ever and you're never planning on.
Reading it, right, But that's the problem. I think maybe I'll read it. Who knows. Maybe that's the kind of thing.
You've had this book for seven years sitting on your bookshelf, you could you could throw it out. If you could replace that book for twenty dollars or less than twenty, I mean, you can hop on e Bay and get it for I mean on Amazon, get it for ten dollars.
Right, So, but that's an awful lot of stuff. That's about half my house. Yeah.
So today we are interviewing the owners of an amazing home organizing company called neat Freaks. It is Lauren to Tungi and Nicole Ndrich. So it's neat Freaks home dot com. And Lauren began organizing place bases for her clients as a speech pathologist, and the clients were overwhelmed and easily distracted. And Nicole is a licensed realtor who began helping others organize their home in preparation for their sale.
Or their move That makes sense that that, you know.
Yeah, both types of backgrounds definitely lend themselves to home organization.
I know, I have a lot of friends who are realtors and they go in and they just say, you've got to They just go through. You got to get rid of all of this clutter. Clutters the big word, right, because people when you walk into a house that you're you're looking for a home, that's a turn off, right seeing right, you have to see it sleet. Yeah, hey yeah, but that's then you think to yourself, well, that would make me happy every single day to come home and see, you know, a clean slate, not all this clutter. So not just for the people walking in to buy my house, I would love to organize. So I have a million questions for them. I know you do too. So uh, let's welcome Lauren and Nicole. Hi, Hi, Hi, thank you guys so much. We're so pretty, I know, aren't they? Yes?
So Jen and I were just talking about but all the reasons why we have so much stuff. So it's hard for Jen and I to let go of things.
You know, we have our.
Parents stuff, we have our kids stuff. Everything for me is sentimental. Jen you feel that way too, right.
I do. I mean not everything, certainly, but I have, you know, have guilt. Putting those things that maybe you know, we're from my kid's second grade Valentine's Day construction paper heart into a garbage bag just hurts right, right, So why don't they start forth grade?
Before we start asking you a million questions about how to tackle all of this?
What do you guys do for people?
So we do it.
We can do something as simple as a closet or a pantry, or we can help with a move, you know, out of a home and downsizing to a smaller home. There's no kind of project too small or too big, but we do it all.
But what we like to think we do is we bring calm to chaos. That's kind of what our goal is.
Yes, love that, that's what I mean. So let's start with the sentimental items, right.
So, like, I have a lot of clothes for when my kids were babies, their Halloween costUS umes, I have their you know, their their second grade class album. I have you know something that his class, aiden's class made him when he.
Had his tonsils.
I have all this stuff, right, can't bring myself to toss it what do you do with stuff?
So different answers for different of different items, But what I would say in general is if you can limit every family member to one clear plastic bin that's labeled with their name, you can't.
Have I already love this so much, brilliantly, I know jus.
In in your child bin, the outfit they came home from the hospital one it's irreplaceable.
Maybe you'll use it for a grandchild one day.
It's sentimental, it's valuable, it's meaningful, it's all of the above. The Halloween costume that you likely have a gazillion pictures of them in that costume. Make an album in your phone photos labeled memories. Again, you can have it labeled by child. It could be each child's memories or just memories in general.
That's where you put things like Halloween costumes.
You mean you take a picture of them and put it in the costume.
Million pictures of the child, and then that market memories. Or if it's something you don't have a picture of, take a picture of it, like the valentine that they made you. Some are projects. I'm also okay with buying one portfolio, like those big black narrow that take up very little room per child and putting in our projects. At some point you go back because I did this, and you're like, I don't know why I get this, But if right now you can't part with it, keep give them a portfolio and give them one clear plastic bin.
Got it?
Love that? Hey? I love that? And how do you like?
What's your advice for detaching emotionally from something that? Like I could see myself standing there staring at everything and being like, but I want this, but I want that, but I want this, like I can't get myself to actually put it in a garbage bag?
How do you detach emotionally?
Right?
And many people are this way. So I think that we are extremely sensitive to the emotional attachment. So if you have a family member or a close friend that you could hand something down to, it can feel less of a detachment and then you're seeing somebody else enjoy it. You could always donate it to a charity that you have a special connection to.
And I tell you something that's so I have some shame around this, but I'm going to tell you anyway. So in terms of giving like close to charity, it's for a long time I've given all of my stuff, our stuff to my housekeeper. She's from Ukraine and so she has sent it to Ukraine. But it's also hard. I feel great about that, but partially because I don't know about getting my stuff into the bags, finding out where to go go? Where's goodwill? Is it? On seventeen? I mean, I'm sorry to report. So I just like I do give it away and it's going to you know, people that need it. But tell us, like, how is it? How? It's probably so easy to find the local goodwill? I mean, you know, do they make you to then you have to write it all down and use it for attack. Yeah, but even good.
Will that I don't want to give all my good stuff to a place that's just going to sell it and maybe use the money to renovate their store, you know, Like I want to make sure that it's going someplace, getting into people's closets that need it.
So what are some good places?
So the Bergen Family Center is serves local families, so I like that just because we're from this area.
But you have to bring your clothes to them, you know.
Obviously Vietnam vets and Salvation Army come and pick up.
That's easy and they're reputable.
Yes, okay, because they're everywhere.
A luxury item versus then can sign it get some.
So what does that mean? What does that mean?
Because I know a consignment's store, but so so you trust these stores.
Well, you're getting some financial reimbursement, so you trust that you're getting something back for it. If listen, if you can give it to a charity that you're connected to, or a close friend or a family member and you reap the benefits, or you know a housekeeper and you're reaping the benefits of seeing them enjoy it, wonderful, But actually the box.
It really does.
But if not, then get financial reimbursement, especially if it's a luxury item or a bag.
Consignment stores tend to take a lot. There's a larger percentage of what they pay. I think because I've done. I've consigned a couple of things and it's like eighty twenty or something towards.
So wow, New Jersey is great, and you do get money back in Englewood. And but I do think that or the real real or the real real gives you money back. But I do you you're repurposing, you are knowing you're taking it at a loss, but you're gaining space.
And the eighty twenty who gets the eighty they do. But that's I just use that. I'm just saying when I've done it in the past, it's been that kind of a breakdown. Wow, that's a lot. Yeah, and they have to pay their rent. They have to pay I know that's a lot. Well that's a loss.
Yeah, Okay, So what do you do when, like you have items around your house that because I have so much of this, I have never used them, or I haven't used them in a decade, but I see potential future use, which I see everywhere everything I see potential future use.
Right.
Well, so again you're constantly going to be going through your things, and whatever you can donate or purge, you should do that. And then if you have the space to keep the things that you don't want to part with, then don't part with them and keep it. I think it all depends on the not just the value, but like is it a generic item, because if it's like old T shirts, and you know, trends change, fashion changes, get rid of old that is going to be easily replaceable versus certain clothing items or in any type of item that you're just kind of like it's a little more unique and maybe I'll revisit it. But space, because it depends on both the item and the space. If the item is generic, donate it or you know, encourage it.
But if you have the space, it's not an issue.
If you need space, that's when you can realize I haven't used it in a while, I haven't worn it in a while.
Right, Right, So we were talking about our closets and gen has Jen has lost a ton of weight in the past like two years, and I've gained a fair amount of weight in the past like two years. And we both have a lot of clothes that don't fit us anymore. Jan has daughter in her twenties who she can Jen, do you share clothes with your daughter?
I share the clothes out that I have now because Rachel it is always thinner than I was. But it's I know what you're gonna say, Jack, it's very hard, not just because they're necessarily luxury clothing items, but like what if the what ifs, Like what if I gain the weight and I don't want to throw out this pair of expensive genes because I've yoyoled my whole life, so it's hard. And so I have, like you know, the and I think lots of women have this, right, like clothes of all different sizes for sure.
Yeah, but in this case, again, both the item and the space need to be considered. So if you have the space, it's great. But like Emma, right, and to your point of a daughter, I have a twenty year old college age daughter and she is constantly in my closet repurposing all of my like good old things that I never wanted to part with.
Right. Does she do a good job.
She does a great job. Honestly.
She was just in Vegas all the college kids go like their senior year, and she was actually wearing something that was my mother's from like thirty five years ago, like this whole sequence back the top.
So again it's like, if you have the space pull on to these things.
And I will say this, if you don't have the space, parting with it is hard, no doubt. Once you do, especially if it's something it's might as well, it's a what if it's something you haven't seen or used in five two five years.
I once you do part with it, let it go.
I've fought so much stuff that I've gotten rid of and I struggle with it, you know, putting it in the bag, and then I literally just you never think about it again. It's not in the closet, so it's so and all of a sudden, I can actually how about the fact that I can actually see things in my closet and they forgot to become new again? Exactly, that's exactly right. Yeah, I love that.
Do consignment stores take like the expensive clothing because I know, a luxury item, but like I have a lot of pants from let's say, like Veronica Beard that are or Alison Olivia and they're really tiny sizes.
Who is real real? Yeah, I heard mixed things.
You have to be willing to take the pictures and you know, but people do get money back.
What does real real do? What's the process there?
You?
I think you call them, they send you a box.
They send you boxes, and they come to you and they kind of send back what doesn't sell, They send you checks.
It's oh, really cool. Maybe I'll have them come over and they take good clothes. Yeah, finer clothes, right, that's all they take.
Yeah, yeah, they don't know.
But even just the thought of that makes me nervous, Like I'd all like what you said, Jen, like the yo yoing of it, I'm and then I'll start thinking like, oh, well, maybe I could just take this to a tailor and get the waist taken out, or maybe another option, maybe my daughter is going to want it. So I have a very hard time with this stuff. Well sometimes I think I just need to change my mindset. So can you talk to us a little bit about what are the benefits of clearing out your space?
Oh?
Okay, One is I think it just saves time when you're looking for something.
It's easier to know where it is.
When everything is clean and has a place and has its own space, it's easier to clean up, and it's easier to find things.
You just are more organized.
Yes, And I would say like clutter can just be very distracting, and so an organized, neat space always makes you feel soothing and tranquil, which ultimately that's our goal when we leave our clients, we just want to leave them feeling tranquil and at peace and less.
Cluttered and come.
And I think also I practice speech pathology practice speech pathology, and I work with children who are extremely distracted. And actually I got into this because I was organizing place bases for children who were so easily distracted, and I found when I organized their one room in their home to it increase their focus. So even for children, increasing their focus, but as well for adults. And an office that's clean and serene and tranquil and neat and organized and tidy, it just it's less distracting and you're able to I also think that it improves the appearance of your home. If you walk into someone else's home that is clutter free and neat and tidy, it looks bigger, it looks more space. It's just your causets look bigger if you open them and it's not all stuffed in and you can see things and find things. And obviously, if one day down the road you wanted to sell your home, it's it's a huge advantage to have it organized.
How do you start, you guys, like you know, a lot of times I just feel so overwhelmed, Right, I have a between my basement and all the drawers, and is it just? And I do when I do do it, like even my makeup drawer, I say, okay, just this, let's just do the makeup shore today. And it's a small deal.
Start small as our number one advice. I think if you just begin organizing one small area and you can get that one small area under control, that's a win.
You've just try to commit to like a certain number of minutes a day or a certain like area per week, or like.
Well.
I go on in but no, if I was advising someone else, then you know, do as much as you can.
Don't start too big.
Are it in makeup draws perfect or do a gene section. Do it in sections and it will feel less overwhelming.
Yeah, if you.
Declutter by category, you know, today I'm not going to do my entire closet.
I'm just going to do genes.
Then the next day I'm just going to do sweaters and then make piles.
You know.
One pile is donate, one is purge, one is consigned, one is keep right.
And now you have.
Different sections for different items. And I also think putting like items together sometimes helps you visualize the excess you have. Oh my god, I did not realize just how many black sweaters I had, or just how many picture frames I have that I'm holding on to that don't even hold pictures. And once you put a bunch of like items together, you realize just how much of each item you have, and you're more willing to let go of some of it.
Right.
Yeah, you know a problem that I have is these four children of mine, and they just every time I get rid of one thing, they bring in six more. And so, like take for example, their shoe area. So I have three teenage boys and one teenage girl, and like my like shoe area where everyone takes the shoes off when they walk into the house is absolutely it gives me a stomach ache every time I walk by it. Like I almost kill myself every time I walk by it because I almost trip on a shoe.
There's sixteen pairs of sneakers, sixteen pairs of.
Crops, there's flip flops, there's night shoes, there's going out shoes, there's sambas.
I don't know what to do with this stuff I have.
I bought myself one of those plastic hanging shoe racks that I put over the door, and the whole thing is like collapsing because there's just too many shoes in there.
I don't know what to do with all the shoes. Help.
So in terms of everyday shoes, obviously, see the mud room, like the area you're talking about is where they should be. But like, is there room in your daughter's closet for her dress shoes that maybe she only wears once a month or you know, less frequently, or even I mean even putting a space in your garage for cleats, you know, a rack in the garage and you're where you're entering the mudroom. But that can help with like the excess spillover and the stuff.
That you don't necessarily want.
That's a good nice piled.
Coming inside from outside. Anyway, my son used to before we had a mudroom. He used to come in and the entire turf field would be in my in my like he had all.
Those little I was like, what is going on here? Take it off outside?
So doing it in the garage makes it a little neater as well.
Jet is an empty nester. So yeah, so for me, it's not the cleats anymore. But I go, I get very jealous when my see like the women that keep the shoes in boxes or the clear boxes, so you can, of course that's you, yeah my shoes. Yeah, like well, so my shoes are piled up on top of each other, you know, I have all the shoes shells. But but we've weigh we've way outgrown the shelves. There's way more so you know, it's just so sloppy and it looks and I walk into a closet, you know, and I'm like to have I look at the Kardashians, Look how they keep their shoes, but they don't do their own ship the obviously obviously, obviously.
I do love them. I would like those closets.
I love the domestic fins and mine open easily, and I just love them because I can see what's inside.
And it protects the shoes they're me.
I can't say enough about them, but they where do you get them? Amazon? Ikea? Yeah, like they make tea anywhere anywhere. The Container store has really nice ones. And Amazon and Ikea have perfectly fine clear shoe boxes yep.
And they they stack and they open easily. Yeah, they are good.
I don't have them, but either when you yeah.
For putting them on, Like sometimes there's a shelf on top of the closet, and that could be a place where you, like, maybe you put the winter boots there in the summer, in the summer, shoes there in the winter, just as.
That's a good idea, okay.
I also ward shoe boxes tell me that it's okay to get rid of them.
They're beautiful, Like how do you get rid.
Of like like a thick brown shoebox, right.
Because once you get rid of it, you're not going to miss the box. I've thrown out like nice beautiful boxes, and I don't miss them.
I see some women like decorating their closet with.
Them, right, unless it's decorative or if you're knacking the shoes on top of each other, you do know, like, oh those are the Louis, those are the Chanelle you know, right?
What about Clocka books because I have so many that are it's just shameful. I have from my guest room. I use that closet as well, but it's not enough room and it's not that like in the Ploka books are just they're not in the bags. They give you these beautiful dust bags, and that's not me. I just I don't have the patience for that. So they're all just kind of Yeah.
They do make clear divide your dividers. That just help stand them up and you can kind of squeeze.
More in, yeah, to use all the shape and yeah, so.
That I like them. I don't use them per one bag.
I'll put like three clutches in one section and then you know it, just you can kind of consolidate and put more together and they do keep their shape. I also like putting like dress the evening bags in one section or large large totes.
Okay, what are these containers? How do I buy them?
Not container viders?
Dividers?
You can get them on Amazon as well.
Yep, what are they called? Just like cock a book divider.
But yeah, they're looseight, they're clear.
Oh I love that. I'm going to do that and I'm going to throw away my boxes. So do you have any like hard and fast rules.
I was telling Jen that I heard once that if you have an item you haven't used in a year, if you could replace it in under twenty minutes for under twenty dollars, that you should get rid of it. But that seems like almost half my house. So by can I just show you there's a plant behind me? You see this plant? So that plant is in a black like vs that I probably paid maybe like fifty dollars for. I have moved this plant. Now it's sitting in the corner of my dining room. I've moved it from room to room to rooms to see if there's anywhere that I like it and I hate it, but I can't bring myself to.
Throw it out right, Like, what's your rules?
What's an easy rule to follow that we should be comfortable with that'll make a lot of this easier.
Well, for wonder, if it's not bringing your joy, and if it's not serving a purpose, let it go. You will not miss it, right, and be okay with it to your point, you will.
Not miss it. Yeah, And I do think.
Taking a time to just be like how many of all of taking like items together and being like how many scissors off these supplies or kitchen utensils or donate niggers?
How many?
How many pairs of sneakers that you know are serving the exact same purpose? Get rid of these are the only two pairs that I actually wear. I don't need the others. So putting all like items together, it helps you kind of realize, oh, minimily do.
Have a lot of this. I could part with some of it when.
I get like samples my buy's expensive skincare or whatever, so they give you like the huge palch good one. Yeah, and how many samples I have products. Yeah, so I'm like, well, I'll take them on vacation, so I don't have to bring the bottle, right.
To say, put them in a travel bag.
Yeah, that's a great, right, But I also don't mix up my skincare like that. So I have these beautiful skincare samples, I don't know what to do with them, grow them out.
Or give them to your daughter, let or you know her friends like that could be like a fun Here is some beauty that's true, and that's like fun where I love the concept of putting in a little travel bag for when you go away.
That's great.
Yeah, do you guys do the thing where you have your travel toiletries separate, Like I've wanted to do this for so long and I haven't. Like you have so that when you're going. I hate packing, everybody does. But where you have your travel toiletries you've bought that separate from your you do that, Jack. I have a.
Bag of travel toiletrees that's always packed that every like two years. I make sure I like clean out the product because it is probably old. But yeah, I have it always ready to go and I carry it on. It's fall in three ounce containers, and every.
Want to spend the money on buying the stuff to put into the travel, like buying an extra whatever serum. I don't do that. I don't buy the extra one.
I get the little three ounce containers from CBS and I fill up from my existing stuff.
That's perfect.
And I have toothbrush, like certain basics like toothbrush, yeah, always in there.
Yeah.
So what's your role with like like, oh, some people say if you haven't used it in a year, get rid of it. That to me is horrifying, but like one is not enough time. What's like for clothing.
Let's say, if you haven't touched it in how long should you get rid of it?
So let's say you did your closet, you went through your closet, like I make a pile of I haven't worn this in a year. If it's still there the next year and you still haven't worn it again, if space isn't an issue and a part of you, that's like maybe maybe, but get rid of some of it, right because chances are you're not going to miss it. You didn't miss it for that year or the year before. So I think right, old T shirts, tank tops, like those things over time they've had.
It, they need to go.
Yeah, I put my after my wedding. The day after my wedding, I didn't get my dress cleaned or anything. I just put it in a garment bag and I haven't yet.
To open it.
It's just been sitting in my closet for seventeen years. It's probably all yellow now, but I mean, I'm going to keep it. I'm not asking you if I should get rid of it, but I just I'm like, I have so much stuff that I've just like stuck into garment.
I mean, you know, we're on this show. We have so many dresses. I have so much clothing that like reminds me of things that I did, but like I'm not wearing it anymore. You guys see this Unrevolve. They have oh croissants, Yes, croissants to say that's a brilliant. I was afraid to do it though, I was starting to do it, and then I was like, what if this I'm doing it? You guys know we're talking about I'm Revolved. They have this thing now where they buy back clothes and it's certain items. Certain items. Yeah, they don't.
Offer you a ton, but some of the stuff that they so they send you like the pictures of the things that they're willing to take back, and you probably take like a seventy percent loss on it. But if you're not wearing it as because you're getting something back, I'm going to look into rent the runway.
But I've done it. I've done it many times.
You probably are wearing it like dresses all the time. You're not going to keep repeating.
Yeah, right, Well, af after I had kids, like immediately after having kids, I was like, I'm never gonna wear heels again. So I went through a phase for a few years of buying Todd's flats, you know, like the iconic with the bumps on the back, and so I have like eight pairs of Todd's flats that after like a year of that, I was like, you know what, I hate flats.
I'm never wearing flats again. I'm going back to heels.
And I have a lot of Todd's flats that I have never touched again, and like, I'm not wearing Ballerina flats. They're just not me, and so I don't know what to do with them. So I think the real real is probably like my only option that all right.
I'm gonna call them.
So when you go into people's houses. Oh, and then I have something really important to ask you.
Do people ever freak out? Are they like, stop touching myself? Because that's the way that I feel like I can never have someone in. But maybe I could like, what is the process like for you guys?
Well, we really are always so super sensitive because it's your personal belongings. Don't want you to feel in any way like we're coming in like gangbusters. We just we really take that into consideration and understand how valuable and meaningful your belongings are. And you know what Laurence said before, When we come into your home, we want to build a rapport with you so that you feel comfortable with us being there, and then we kind of get into a groove and you do feel comfortable.
Yeah, I think that we have to go.
Through people's stuff and find like something bad.
I don't like, something dirty, like you open a woman's store and find her vibrators.
Like, But I would say say that one of the reasons we do our free consult is really to establish a rapport and make sure that they're comfortable with us and that they know that we understand the sensitivity and privacy and you know of what's going on and if you know, if there's things you don't want us, getting.
Very respectful of that as well.
Yeah, Like, I just don't know how I can imagine being you, Like I I don't thought of taking on my own closet and my and what do you think it is? I don't know if for me that would be to have to all day look in someone else's closet, go through it, organize it, take out their crap, go through the dressers. You enjoy your work like I love you love it? Like it just sounds so horrible. No, it probably no. I think it sounds like like popping, is it? Like as much as you it's like you're doing it. It's physical too. It's like it's definitely hard for sure.
But they don't have the sentimental like attachment.
Which do so when we do homes, we call each other like I can't do my own myself.
I genuinely believe you need someone else to be like get rid of it. That is heard.
I think the Sex the City episode when they were going through Carrie's closet. You remember that one. I remember that one when she was getting rid of all of her stuff. I'm so cute. Well she got rid of something.
Can I talk to you about jewelry because that is probably my biggest problem. So my issue is that, like, so you have all this jewelry. I'm not saying that I have all like tons of diamonds hanging around my closet, but like, I have a lot of jewelry, and not all of it's super expensive. But I don't know what to do with it because I don't want it out in the open. So like all this beautiful like hanging shit that they sell at home goods, I can't buy that because I have a lot of workers in my house. Of course, I'm not saying workers are not trustworthy, but I don't know them.
I don't want it.
Sitting there when the cable guy comes to fix my cable in my room.
So I need to hide it. But I can't hide it.
In anything that keeps my jewelry from tangling. I have necklaces that I haven't worn in years because they are in one giant knot and I can't untangle them.
Well, they do sell stackable trays that you could put, you know, that are individually so you could put each of your necklaces and then so that they're not out, you could put them, you know, in a draw in your closet that's easily accessible for you, but sort of hidden underclothes so it's not.
Out like under your tank tops or under your t shirts.
You put the actual the drawers that lay the trays, trays that lay flat would be good for necklaces not being tangled for you.
What do you mean, So are they divided into sections?
Yeah, you can put like probably two per section, but like with a little tiny lip, you know, like not just picture the felt a felt tray with little lips, so you could lay your necklaces down and they won't hit the other one, the one next.
So they have a section for like ear rings and rings.
And you can do it yourself as well, you know, because you can buy different compartments based on what you have.
Where do you get that stuff? And then you're organized with your jewelry. No, I'm not organized with anything. I mean I organized when I moved into my house. The very clever owner had created the to the jewelry doors, so you open in their section and whatever they have, but it overflows, and you know, proud itself, and I'm not no, I'm not great with it. Is your jewelry drawer locked? No, I know, that would be a good idea to make it a lot.
And then she hides the key.
Yeah, that would be so much even just.
Like, yeah, it's like a road drawer and it has to actually pull out felt things, and she stores a lot in there. I mean, it's probably obvious in there if someone were to break into your.
I know, but at least it makes it harder to you know. You know.
One of my other problems is so like my dad and my mom, they live in separate homes. They're still married, but they live separately for twenty five years. They both keep everything, and they have tons and tons and tons of paperwork. But I went to my dad's house to try to help him organize a few years ago, and he had literally I opened his like one of his kitchen cabinets, and he had fifty mugs and fifty plates. And then I said, Dak, can I throw out half of it?
What do you need to throw out half? I said, do you live alone? How many mugs do you need? You know? And then but then I started to look at the mugs and I was like, oh, I got this one in fourth grade, right, I don't want to throw that out, and like there's a little sand at the bottom when you finished drinking, And.
Like I had a problem throwing out his moors.
You know, I don't know where to start sometimes.
Yeah, but it sounds like he has them all in one spot, which is the first step he you know, on all the mugs are together, If they're all fitting in that one cabinet designated for mugs, then like what's it to you whether there's two mugs in.
There which are practs twenty or twenty.
When it starts to overflow and they no longer fit fit in that area, that's when it's time to purge, right, Like I don't believe in storing anything and putting it in the basement or putting it in the attic ways, you'll never do it.
So as long as there's room for it and it's not.
Bothering anyone, and he's not downsizing or going to a smaller space. If they make him happy, and they make you happy for now and they bring you to the spot, keep them right. But the second there's one mug too many, he's got to choose and get rid of one to make space for the new.
I think it's good to check because, like, for instance, my husband had a shot glass collection and I just wasn't having it. I did too. Well, guess what, he doesn't have it anymore. But he realized that he doesn't have it anymore. He was not pleased. He should probably ask, but oh yeah, yeah, he was pissed. I have to say, maybe not my but I'm like, I never thought he would even notice. It was like put away in like like we're our bar area in a corner and a million years, I didn't think he would notice. Yep, they've gone.
Now, yeah, here's a here's what I really struggle with. And I wish I could take you over to it.
But I am so. I'm not a hoarder.
Obviously, hoarding is a serious mental illness, right, but I use the term very loosely. I'd say something that I do actually tend to hoard is alcohol. And so when I get a nice bottle, I don't drink it, and I leave it improperly stored on top of my like in my like whip bar area. And first of all, I have bottles that have been sitting there for fifteen years. That I are probably not good anymore, but I don't want to throw them out.
I can say, al bad, Yes, I think so.
If it's not stored properly, do they makes it can sometimes come over?
Do they? Okay?
So I bought a bottle of crystal fifteen years ago when crystal was popular, right. More than that, I don't want to throw out the crystal because it costs me like two hundred bucks. I don't want to drink the crystal because it will probably make me ill right now, because it's been improperly sort for twenty years. Do they make people who can come to your house and be like, throw this out, through this out, it's going to make you sick.
Alcohol is not one that we've Yeah, I don't. I don't know how to.
I would say, if you're willing to throw it away and you don't care, you're not drinking it, you're not regifting it, you're not.
Well, I would regift it. But I don't want to make other people sick.
I want to.
I want I love regifted.
You'll make them sick. Maybe it got better, maybe it's worth more now. I think we have to research first with the.
Alcohol, like the specific alcohol and if it gets better or worse.
Right, I know I need to go through and just spend some time like googling how long does this last? Right?
And if it? And on that note, if you're going through your pantry the second that's something hits the expiration date, do you have to throw it out? Or like, what's the rule with that? Does does shit list longer?
Does I do?
Because my son is like the expiration date like police, Yes he is. So if it's one day expired, he's like, it's gotta go. So I tend to toss things that are expired.
And I think and it lasts forever?
Yeah, I think right, So when he goes to college, I wants.
I meant to just say, Jackie, you can bring if you want all your old alcohol. If you want to just bring it here, we could test it. We can crystal right over to my house. Yes, well I have don par I have all of this. I'll take it, no problem, Like this is so pretty.
I don't want to think a gift as well, give like champagne. I have to research.
Yeah, I think you gifts, you know, I got to do a little research on that. Nobody's having you guys over to go through their liquor cabinet. They got bigger problems, right, I.
Know, But this this makes me want to so what kind of people call you? Is it people whose homes are just so completely out of control? Or is it like normal homes that just want more?
Like it runs the gamut.
I think our niche has become we've kind of attached ourselves or gotten acquaintance with a bunch of real estate brokers who have been to refer us.
So our niche has.
Become people who are moving and downsizing or or moving to bigger But usually it's the downsizing that's more overwhelming, and we kind of begin at that level. The first purge is when you're packing. The second purge is when you're moving them in donating, you know, consigning, keeping packing everything in an organized way, like items together. So their books may be everywhere in their house, but when we pack them, we pack them all together, so that when we're unpacking, we can be like, Okay, let's put all the books in the bookshelf or in the living room or to the den or wherever it may go.
That's been our niche.
But we I mean, are being.
A lot of referrals.
Yes, people will you know, email us and they're either.
Moving or they have.
A closet that they need to attack and they just need really the handholding to get it done.
Just speaking of referrals, I was going to say, tell our listeners where to find you, please.
Meat freaks home dot com or on Instagram or Facebook.
It's neat freaks home.
And I know people who have used them, and they are I have never used you, guys, but I know that people grieve about.
You guys, So thank you so much.
Okay, So I think I'm ready to call the real real and I'm ready to throw out all my shoeboxes.
Ok and then I'm going to attack my kids.
Shoes unless you stack them up on the higher part of your closet.
I'm going to go or shoe boxes. Yes, I'm going to order actually the jewelry things. Okay. So we have all cut out for us. Thank you, ladies, so much.
Thank you.
Once I'm all cleaned out, I'll invite everybody over and we could drink my old alcohol.
Okay.
I love you guys, Thank you, Thank you guys. That was great. Okay.
I feel like I could throw some stuff out now I don't. I don't need all of this ship, but that all it really does get me, like I can't regive that depressing.
Also, the alcohol gets you unless I don't like anyone. I mean, yes, well there's always there's always that well, I mean, I don't know, it is it's hard to do, but I know that when I do it, which is not often, I feel so good. It is like popping, is it a little? It's like so I wouldn't want to do it for other people, like like God bless these two women, because that would sound like the worst job ever to me. Oh love.
I think if you can make money like helping people do something that's going to bring them joy, I think that's the yeah, yeah in theory, but like in practice going through people's stuff, and I can't I just because I can't bear to do my own.
So I know it's.
Also a timing issue like this, there's not a lot of time left in the day.
Agree, We're busy, We're busy.
Jen Fessler, all right, well, I've miss seeing your beautiful face today.
Seeing your beautiful face, yes, but I'm gonna see you're recording separately.
But that was great, and uh, I feel like I'm ready to go clean out of closet.
But I hope it was helpful to you guys like it was to us. Definitely all right, So until next time, two Jersey Jays were out.