Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash🚨 Breaking news 🚨
Ash is shocked to find out that his son has been awarded a title that only well-behaved kids receive!
Ash also experiences a bout of PTSD after watching Oscar accept his award.
Matty J and Laura have decided to bring Lola's schooling forward and prepare her for Kindy.
Mr Johnson has also been up to no good - is he in the wrong?!
We also answer your questions:
- What is the correct seating arrangement for flying?
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Hey, did I tell you what happened to my mum last week? No? Was it last week when we had the episode where she told the lie about the PlayStation? Yeah?
Yes, oh yeah, what happened. I'm not the full story we're going you know.
We were like, Elle, we didn't hear a peepe from her. It's like, where did she disappear to? And I went upstairs to get changed after you guys left, and she was like, hello, she was sitting on my bed, scared this ship out of me. I didn't think she was living here. I was getting changed. I looked over and she just was like, nice cock. Welcome back to Two Dating Dads. I am Maddy jay And and this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable. If you come for advice, I'm very apologetic to say that it's not going to come from us. No, not usually. Anyway, I've got some advice that was last week. Hey you've got a new hobby. You go on listening. Notice she's got a new hobby something you enjoy doing. What's that? Just seeing what you've been up to?
Drinkings and not a new hobby. That's yeah, that's that's that's an old one.
Consistent something you like to do that I've just I've just noticed, go on, I'm confused, bit of celebrity spotting getting selfies? Can I just can I can I just refresh your memory? What did I do? I got? Okay, I've ran into like four people, just a couple of people that you're with on the world. I don't know, guys, Look, this is all surprised to me. I just thought I was carrying all my normal life. Aaron Finish's ye, Andy Cooks, I and Rite the Surfer, they're all friends. It's only a few. Actually, there's only half of the ones that I got. Same would as well.
I just it was a good opportunity to meet people like minded people.
Do that guy who's like photo quick photo Nah?
It was like they were like, can we get a photo?
And I was like, yeah, I guess so you've got the same smile on every photo. I'm the same guy in every photo.
I'll be practicing, Come my, guys, I'm trying to be trying to be more likable.
Ash was at the Formula one. Okay, who's your favorite celebrity that you met?
Who's my favorite getting to see Andy Cooks is is the best.
It's good guy. It's got a stylist now. Actually, I don't know if I was meant to say that. Sorry, Andy, if you're listening. But what I did see I did go to the F one. I didn't get to see you. We would have got a photo like that because you're a celebrity. According to the Jungle, you need to update my Wikipedia page. I did already. I mean I didn't. I saw damn it. I saw that. It was it was. I was like, who Who's done this?
It was like a best friend ash Wigs. I was like, oh my god, I's gonna let me edit it. I was like fifteen beers deep when I did that too. I was like, and has a really handsome sized car. And I took it all out because they would have deleted that, right would they. We'll find out find out. But we went to I did go to F one. Didn't get to see you, unfortunately. But what I did see at the airport was an Amish family. First time I've ever seen one.
How were how do you know if they were Amish? They were dressed like proper Amish, but they're not allowed to fly.
That was going to be my next question. It was like, are they allowed to be there?
Is like a plane that's been pulled by a horse.
It's like a paddle popstick plane.
It's got rubber bands that flipping the back, the kids that are in the back on the wings exactly. I was just like, do you know for a fact they were Amish? I looked up what Imish people look like. Did you ask him for a photo? No, otherwise you wouldn't have to google, or was just shown you. I don't think we have Amish people in Australia. Wow, what a weekend.
But they were using the electronic conveyor belt for the bag, and I'm like, wait on a minute.
My mom's coming down, Come down anywhere? Off to Oh you're going to the doctors? Can I come be quick though? No talking talk? Good morning, afternoon early? Oh for god, l you're right, you just just we'll make it. It's not going to walk out here in the nutty shit, are you? I mean? Damn? That was Nana coming down the stairs trying to get a look at my cock later on for hiding upstairs. But they were using the electronic conveyor belt thing. I don't think I'm sure allowed to use any type its modern. Well, do you think it was fancy dress? Maybe they've gone on fancy dress. Maybe, like, aren't Mormons dressed a bit like that? I forgot about Mormons moments, the moments. The moments always get forgotten about. What's the difference anyway? Who knows?
Sorry, I'm good. I'm very good. Actually, i'm very good. Sorry, I've just hit my shoulder it and it's really irritated guy.
But anyway, good, Oscar fly, So many distractions?
What am I talking about again? Oscar, I've got some really good news. You're going to be excited. Oscar was elected his class student representative.
Wow. Yeah, but he's in kindy Yeah. So every class has a male and a female in the class represent their exactly their classroom. So there's I think there's like fourteen kids or fifteen kids in the class. How long did he campaign for He didn't. He was elected by it, just by his class. Do kids have any idea the teacher chose, So she chose Oscar. Yeah, apparently he's really sensible. So okay, so running through what are the responsible is of what's he called his president? So he's going to be part of what they call the SRC, which is the Student Representative Council. It sounds very culty SRC. It's it's like a bikey club. It's a biker gang. Yeah, they've got patches and tattoos. Yeah, what's like the initiation? And what happened?
So he Apram might have to go to an assembly a school, the first schoolssembly of the year, and it was to announce from all the classes.
You must have been proud as part of course.
I was, absolutely. I was also a bit like, you've got the wrong kid anyway, And I haven't been to a school.
Sorry, I shouldn't laugh at that's funny. I get everyone else is laughing about it.
I am whatever anyway, So I haven't been to a school assembly since I was at that school myself pretty much.
Would you still sit on the floor.
Yeah, they do sit on the floor, not me. I got to sit in the seat at the back. It must be nice special guest so that all the kids came in and he didn't know we were there. I've never seen him so well behave he's an impostor.
He didn't know he was. He didn't know we were going to be there to watch him get presented.
He didn't tell him no because we through because he has to get up.
They said, look, they said, sorry, sorry, you guys, if you'd let me finish a story, we would know. So okay. So they all came in really nicely.
It was great, really well behaved kids, and then they would present from each class, and of course when they started to present, they were like, okay, and this person and this person, and then everyone would clap, and of course the principal was like, what.
Don't we just say about claps till the end? Smart? Smart? But anyway, the Oscar's name gets called up and he walks up and he's got up, confident, straight upstairs, shaking hands like he's president being elected.
And then they took this big group photo and everyone was like, they give the a little src pins that go on your shirt.
It's really cute.
And everyone else is sitting there like He's like, and I wish I could show your photo, but they're all in school uniform, not allowed to. And Oscar was just like, instead of facing the camera, he's decided to go forty five degrees this way and face where he was sitted because he was obviously so nervous, and he was like I'm just going to stand and while they take a post, stare at where I really.
Want to be. And the photos, if you can picture it is everyone everyone front on and then Oscar's just like something's got his attention. I was like April.
I was like, April film, the whole thing is great, but I was like, to April, what's he staring at? Then I realized there's a big blank spot on the ground where he was sitting, and he was like, I just want to be back there.
You could just and then they were like, okay, now we're going to do They sung the national anthem. Does he know the words? No?
And he can't read because I was like, if you don't know the word, the words are up on the wall.
He's like, oh god, He's like, I'm just looking at where all sitting. I'm just looking at that.
And I don't know if you remember his school assemblies when you you.
Can't read, your dad will help you sing. I don't know if you remember.
Like with school assemblies, they're all about like inclusive. Everyone's singing and a teacher gets up and sort of conducts and helps and they're all about that sort of thing. Anyway, So the music started, and the National Anthem started, and I started to get flashbacks and remember last time we went to a school thing there, because it was like, I haven't been back here for twenty two years, very nostalgia bit of PTSD started to get some flashbacks. Now I'm sitting there and everyone's singing the national anthem beautifully and it reminded me of a simpler time when I was going to that school. And I specifically remember in year four I was in class and do you remember the quantus ad?
Yes? Did the quiet? How does the song go? I've been to city still get into that part, but I just thought, like for anything anyway, so they remember that, rushed me along the song?
Sorry, GoGet continue you continue? No, yeah, yeah, are still cold Australia.
For anyone who doesn't know the song and can't tell from us singing, We'll give you a little taste here. You're welcome.
So year four, Yes, young Ash, sprightly young sprightly Ash.
We're in class.
And what they would do is these the people who picked though kids for those ads, would go to schools and actually hand select hands select kids, right, which is pretty cool.
Sounds like very p word if you know what I'm saying, go to schools. What do you what's your job? I go to schools and I pick out the kids that I want. So fun is anyway? So I remember this particular day they came to our class. Are this is a serious serious anyway?
So what you do is they go, okay, we'll explain what's happening. They obviously play the song. We all know the song, and then the cold class stands up, belt it out and belts the song with the music apps and these judges do the do the lap around the classroom?
Was this actually like the it's already been filmed, like, yeah, we're TV producers. It was your best kids. Yeah.
I think they because it was such a successful campaign. I think they wanted to continue continue the legacy. Very good word, the quantas legacy. The judges, it's called them, not the pedophiles. The judges walk around the class to hear everybody singing. And anyway, I'm how old am I ten? And I'm belting this out like like the chance for me? Did you know what was at stake? Did you know I was would be potentially be on the ad?
But did you know that? Yeah? You were? You were told that you told. This is your fucking moment. Kids, don't stuff this up. This is before reality TV. This is like the realest, this is like this is really the voice. Yes, but they can see you.
So if you're like a pathetic looking kid, this is idyle. This is this is kids idol, but a group performance. Anyway, So they're walking around there, taken little notes like who's who and blah blah blah blah blah. They get by my section of the room anyway. I remember they circled and circle back and I was like, oh, this is this is pretty good, I must be pretty good.
And then one of them leans and I remember.
It because this is why I got PTSD. One of them leans over to the other one was like, don't bother going over there, But he didn't think that I could hear him.
No, I wouldn't fucking waste your time in that back corner.
Oh my little kid's no good. That's exactly what happened. And it was like, I remember, I was just trying so hard. I was traumatized. I was and I had forgotten about this memory. I have suppressed this memory so much so that it only came back to me when everyone was in this school was singing the national anthem and I was like, holy shit, and.
I was like. April looked at me, She's like, are you okay.
I'm like, no, I'm not okay, Like I remember just crying my eyes.
As a kid. I don't think anyone from my class got picked.
So I was thankful because if like someone like next to me got picked, I would have been like.
Things sounded bad. Not me, But I know now very good. Can I just say thank you for the record, You're a very good scene, very.
Good as a stretch. Thank you for trying to make me feel better. I said to people.
I was like, I can't be here anymore. Literally, I was like, can we go? And she was like no. I was like I was sweating. I was like, oh my god.
Anyway, so we eventually like went outside and Oscar came out.
We got a photo.
It was like, because it's not about me, it's about him. And he did really well and then yeah, booked in a therapy appointment for Monday.
How was he when you saw him? Oh, he was pumped, it was palmed. His dad was crying. But I have not, for different reasons. Shaking in the corner.
I know you're trying to tell April that story the other day.
She was like the full story. She was like, Oh my god, isn't it weird the things that happened as a kid that just become the core memories that you suppressed, suppressed, suppressed to press.
It was like when I really like this girl and we're playing sports and we head buttered at each other, and I remembered it like twenty years later.
And I was like, oh my gosh, that's like I'm so embarrassing, very embarrassing that he's embarrassing Becky. Sorry, Becky, did you not want to tell Oscar that you were going to be there because he might be nervous. Yes, it's like swimming lessons, for example, I have to like pretend like I'm leaving because I'm in the room. Then they went on the water because they want to be with me.
Yeah, like it was my I just did't we didn't want to put in restaurant. Yeah, and I very good parents. It didn't last very long because bloody Lenny, because you're crying, and Lenny spotted me immediately. He was looking for his parents, and I like that they're not here because they didn't really understand.
But then like Oscar, they're not here. They're not here. They're not here all the time like you. Maybe next time they'll be here. But yeah, he's a representative for the whole year. Wow. Wow, this is mate. This is a taste of what's going to happen in the future, future Prime Minister. Very proud, proud dad. I also had a moment where I was very proud parent. Ash go on, I'm listening. Okay, it's a bunch.
Of proud parents over here, are we just I'm just bursting with pride and I can see.
That's what that is seeping out of me. Very similar to when you're angry. So what expect we like, we've had We've had an ordeal with an ordeal well, you know, just backstory for those who haven't been following. Decided to move daycares for Lola. She's at the new daycare, which is a great daycare. Okay, very good daycare.
And then.
I sold the dream. Okay, I sold the dream that she was going to that daycare because her cousin was in the same class. Chas mcgaz. What up shares chas mcgas one of the best. After look like when I'm in the jungle. I kind of realized they have different groups depending on the age. Oh so now Lola colored in the three to four. It's our animal names, O animal names? Yeah, where I got colors? What color are you guys?
I think Macy's blue room right now? Their next us is in green room. Right, we were in the wallabyes sounds exciting.
It's fucking boring. And you're over here going we've got wallabies and koalas. Any non parent must be listening and going like, what the fuck are these guys going? I get a live. I'm trying. How can I get alive? I gonna look after like four other lives? So so in the wrong age group. Because the plan was ash that Lola wasn't going to go to school next year. We're going to keep her. But she's a fed baby, right, She's a fucking fed baby. This is the most the most stressful part of parenting is what to do about school? When does school start? You should have thought it out that before you conceive. I know, I know fed fed births. Yeah, it's like on the cast, what do you do? What do you? And also so hard because how she is right now? I don't know how much she'll change in twelve months time. Yeah, she may stay the same. She might be the same, she might be exactly the same. Well, she might be a genius. She might be like playing Beethoven on piano. You just don't know. That's the whole that's that's the whole thing about prank. You don't know what we're gonna be like. But you have to make the decision now right now. They're like, what do you want to do? And I'm like, I don't know. Can I just decide tomorrow? And they land hot. Fuck, it's really hard. So so also even harder to make the decision because she's struggling. She hates it there. She's not her best self. She's not. So we made the decision ash to send Lola to school slash KINDI next year. I think it's the right call.
I think it's the right call because Marley Marley's mid year, so that's confusing in its own You could go either way, but I think.
We should be five next year. Be five next year.
And she's not a.
Small five year old. She's not a small she's the ninety eighth per center for her head, So yeah, I know she's big.
Right. Yeah, I'll just pointing that out. But big head, big brain, there you go. See how I recovered the good very good.
But I think it's right. I think she's ready. I think she's way more. She's pretty reckless, but I think she's more.
Yeah, whenever you say someone did something, I know exactly who it is because it's Lola.
You're like, what's that burn on your arm? And I'm like, who do you think did it? She's also very clever. She knows how to gaslight people. She's gonna be fine, thank you. I think I think it's the right call. What's the call on the rest of this year? Though? Because she's so so luckily luckily, I kind of said to the daycare direct I was like, can you squeeze her up into the into the top class because they have the class that's specific for transitioning to pre scoops. How did you ask? Though? Did your email? Did you get down there with a little button up shirt button? Laura sent the email. Laura sent the email, and then I did the follow up face to face. We hit it with both parents. Too prong. I call that the too prong Yeah, the too wrong email face to face? But did you button up, shirt, button down. I was naked good. This is like, oh nice, she's gone straight up. So we got her in there. A little bit tricky so far. Rules ash for that class. There's rules you cannot but that's going to be good for her. It's important boundaries, sign bound. You can't bring coloring in books, pencils, can't bring the toys. As we know from the other week, there's a lot that you can't do. So Lola was very excited. We're one day in and she's already like, what the fuck is this? Where have you sent me? What is this hell?
Hole?
Like put her in a hole? So she she's been what one day now or two days? What's going on? This is their second day? Okay, so how did the first overall? How did the first get? Like the drop? It was it better? She was excited. We sold it in and you gotta like, you gotta sell it in as a dream. You're like, this is a great thing. You're so lucky to be in the top. You've got to sell it like you're a desperate real estate agent. Yeah. Do you know how many people have tried to get into that classroom and we finally got you? Unheard of how do we do it? I don't know. And this kindergarten is north facing. Think about the sea breeze. It's gonna be great. It's got great bones, so much potential and investors. She's like, what the fuck are you talking about? A grantic light out of the back. She's like, are you is?
What?
What am I doing? So? Yeah, so far, it's it's hard, very hard, very hard at the moment. Also, poor little Lola, she's been moved daycares, had like two months in one room, yanked her out, put her in another room, and I'm like, you're in here now. She was like a navy kid and they get moved from station to station. Oh god, she'll say it all, will she probably not, but also just gonna say I'm gonna say it. Okay, I'm just going to say it save a lot of money by not going to daycare.
Oh no shit, no shit, Like it's a it's up there in the top five complaint for parents because it's not cheap.
And you're like, this is the thing I find that that daycare is. You need to do it so you can go to work, But it takes up all your money that you're going away. It's so counter productive, it's stupid. Do you know who does it? Well, I'm just gonna go on a little tangent here, just very very quickly with you.
I'll ride this tangent horse with you into the dark. The French have done a lot of things, right, okay, Mcuel macwellen an, Miguel MacLaren.
That's it. There you go, I did it.
Who's he?
He's the Prime Minister, isn't he? Who am I thinking of? Whatever? Its cargo champagne, stupid frog, no snails, babe frogs. All of the daycares in France. France, they're all subsidized. Ue it's cheap ass subsidize. It's cheap as It's like it's like twenty euros a day. But I made that up. It's cheap. A friend of mine, I lived in London for four years. Shut up. He now he's moved to France because it's cheaper.
But there's a language barrier. He doesn't speak French, but his kids speak French. They're not your kids, dude.
What Yeah, dude, I'm just saying we don't need to pull the trigger, but we should consider moving to France.
I mean.
Ash, yep, quick question. I just need your thoughts on a matter, another matter, another matter. Am I a bad person? Yes? Go on. We talked about the F One. You were there, I was there, meeting the final celebrities this country has to offer. I went to the F One, had to go there, had to fly solo initially. Yeah. Question, My initial flight was on a Sunday. Yep, okay, my flight was on a Sunday. I had told Laura the flight was at three pm. Okay, so I had to let to Sunday afternoon. Traffic's really bad as well on a Sunday, We'll know that. So I had to leave at like twelve thirty. Okay, get to the f You are a dad, I am a dad. When in reality my flight was booked for five Okay. I brought the time forward a couple of hours because I just wanted to have a little bit of time at the airport by myself. I feel lots of food options the self so be. It was lovely. Yeah, And obviously people might be thinking, weren't you just crying in the jungle because you got renoted with your family because you missed them so much? Yes I was, Yeah, yes I was, But that was weeks ago. It's all about balance. I needed a break, and so I was at the airport for a few hours. Yeah, just by myself. Oh lovely, isn't it. You're not a bad person. Laura doesn't know that, and she doesn't listen to this podcast, so she won't know. Yeah. I want to say, that's a parenting hack. I'm gonna tell her. Fuck you. All right, look guilty, I've done this. What have you got? So I went to their one. Yes, I had a flight a Saturday afternoon. I did.
Tell April it was at two o'clock. Was the actual time three thirty, but go on. I was like, okay, I told her a time that I was going to leave a couple of more time. I was like, I got it, Okay, I better go this time. It's much further for me to go to the airport.
It's like, ashfy, one's not till next week, and you're like, sya, gotta go. And then I think I was maybe half an hour from the time I was going to have to leave.
I pulled another swifty. I said, I best go at the traffic is really bad. Kids are a been a bit difficult. We're going to get canceled for this I can feel it.
It feels good to get it out. Feels good. Up until now, I've been living this life of sin. It feels good to get it out, though, doesn't it?
Oh?
Yeah? And then I got to the airport, I had another lie. What have you done? I had something to eat as I did drink, and then I went on my way. But on the way back my flight was delayed. Well, okay, you told me it was delayed by like two hours. You message it like midnight, and you're like, I finally got home. Yeah, were you just sitting in the driveway and it wasn't the flight was delayed? Okay, that's not the lie. How long was it delayed for two hours? It was? It was after I popped the tie in front of it.
It was two hours. But I rang April and I said, look, the flight is delayed. The lie on this end is that I was upset about it.
How did you sell it? I was like, can you fucking believe this?
And then I doubled down on it by saying it's going to ruin me for the traffic on the way home. Anyway, I was like, with beer in hand, no, this is on the way home. The last thing I wanted was a beer, I tell you that much. I was like.
For two hours to sit.
Watch TV on my phone pretty much, or I could have flown home and then done the school pickup, spent the afternoon wrangling some kids that haven't slept and whatever. So I look, it was annoying, but not for me, And speaking of lies, I feel good speaking of life about this.
We're not the only people lying in this world. At there is plenty. It's fine, it's fine, she won't listen, but there's plenty of lies being told, not just by us, but other parents. It's time for.
Tell me loud, tell me love. All right, I'll go first, of course, this is from Steph, and congratulations, Steph, you have won yourself the choice of either and Maddie J doll or a much more handsome ash doll that will be sent to you by our producer Jess. So I'm going to read the lie out Nami's okay, Steph says, I always tell my girls that this is the season final Bluie, what reason?
So she can change the fucking channel?
Obviously, Like I get like short episodes. Do you know what I saw the other day? Actually just on Bluey really they have many episodes. They're already seven minutes. What are they just like, blink and you'll miss.
It, ruining the attention span of people in this country. Like we're gonna watch bleink, We're gonna watch blue. Don't blink because you'll miss it. Is from Amy, and this is a line that she tells her kids, your eyes turn purple when you tell a lie, So her daughter closes her eyes every time she's talking to her and telling a lie. Very good.
There's so many variations of that where it's like you like, obviously, get your nose gets bigger or whatever, like Pinocchio or a dot on your forehead or like whatever.
But that one's good because they close their eyes. It's so obvious. Idiots, idiots.
Kids are stupid anyway. This one's from Nina. Nina says there's a good eyes one. The chocolate at the checkout is actually rat poison. I can't really pull that one because I'm the worst to check out chocolate because you're eating it. Yeah, I was just like, what are you getting?
You're gonna die? It's worth it, worth it. This one is from uh Alissa. You aren't You aren't allowed to turn six until you learn how to wipe your own bum. It's a worldwide rule, worldwide wide. What that's good too? I think? Can I just say one thing that may blow your mind. On the age that you turn it's the end of the year. So when you turn one, you're finishing that age, yeah, because you turn two, you're starting to Because if you're you turn one, you turn one on your birthday, you've just completed that age. You completed one. So when you turn two, you completed too. You've already completed two. Because but that your age is the age that you've completed, not the age that you're turning. Yeah, but we talk about it like this.
We say one and a half, right, not two months pre two. So really you're completing one, right, That's what I just said when you turn two, when you turn two, because then you would be two and a half two and three months, you're still in two.
You haven't completed too if the number two, So then but think about it, right, think about it. When you're born, right, you're born zero, Yeah, but then you turn one, you turn one, you've already done a year.
You completed zero though, but you haven't you've done nine months. Okay, moving on, I think I'll go Yeah, is this a win for me? Jess, No, she's shaking head.
The other week we talked about the bedtime routine of Lola. It's a little bit different, a little bit unique. Many steps involved. Parents have reached out on our Instagram account. So the parents have reached out via our Instagram account with some of the behaviors of their own children when it comes to bedtime, and that Instagram account is what At Two Doting Dads, we will read out some of the bedtime routines from other parents listening to this podcast. This one is Sam Ash and she says, our oldest will sleep on the floor while the youngest wind's down. Both beds are in the same room. How's that the oldest will sleep on the floor that doesn't go for his bed. I'm guessing it to a heat because sounds like a boy problem. Well, the other one winds down or in bed?
Yeah?
Okay, wait, just anywhere on the floor. I don't know, Sam, if you're listening to this, please give us more information. I don't know where on the floor.
Okay, all right, but weird either way? Well, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Sam, kids are weird. We get said about our own kids. We can't say that about the listeners kids. Okay, okay, that's great that your kid's not weird.
Sorry, guys, Okay. This one's from Ashley. We have to go outside to see them. It's an excuse to use his little moa versure.
Oh, that's a good from She has five songs that they have to play in a certain order or they'll get yelled at. Having a kid is like having a really bad boss. All right. This one's from Emma.
My daughter violently shakes her head from side to side until she falls asleep.
She's done this since she was a newborn. You have a friend who did they get tested? No, but she got kicked out of dance class. There's something yarn on there. I know you have lots to look forward to. Mel I have long acrylic nails. I have to do scratchees on his back until he's comatose. That's gonna He's going to grow into a weird kink. That's true.
That's not even a joke. That's a concern. I love a good scratchy exhibit a. Ellie's like, I used to do that when you're a kid. Now you're freaking.
Sometimes there's me in a moment where I've been sitting on the couch and my mom has been like, do you a little scratchy? And I'm like yes please, and Laura and Laura has come in and I'm like getting my hair tickle by my mum. As I'm a thirty seven year old man on the couch and hates j what's a head job?
John says? Three year old gets too? These are ridiculous gets two sleep token songs to head bang two before as the time of his life.
We're our own worst enemy. We let him get away with this ship and his parents were like, why wouldn't they sleep? Question question for you, Ash. This is off the back of taking some flights with the family. Also off the back of something I saw on TikTok an Amish family on an aeroplane. What is the right seating configuration for a family of four on a domestic flight?
Domestic flight? So we're talking three and three, OK, just running through it, not a rex and it's like two and two now they have gone to liquidation. So he's the right word.
Mom, two parents, two kids, two parents, and let's say the kids age between like two and six, so they have their own seats because pre two they don't get a seat. Correct, that's pretty straightforward. What is what is the right answer? Here? Ash? The right answer?
How do you in April fly? The window seat is the child windows yep. The middle seat is another child. There's two children, yep, these basic maths. The third seat is one parent. Yeah.
I'm not liking this, but go on. And then there's a fourth seat, which is across the aisle. Is the other parent. What is that wrong? You did you even draw it?
No?
I get it, it's wrong. Okay, it's wrong. Is that what we should go?
Go?
Okay, go the way I fly? Ash? The way I fly seems to be a lot, which this is the best way you go? Window child, Yeah, okay, that's okay, that's what I said. Next one across middle seat is the parent. Okay. Now either in front or behind you follow that same configuration child parent child parent, okay.
And so you're on the same side. It's evenly distributed. But then there's a stranger. That's fine, Is it fine? I don't want my kids sitting there strangers.
That's why you're in the middle. You're in the middle, your kid is in the window. You're protecting the child ash But it means that you know, if you need any snacks, any coloring in pencils, any toys, you can just pass it in front. Okay, I get it.
I'm not gonna look, I'm not. This is where we're different. I'm not going to shut you down like you shut me down.
But who's going to be like that that works? Who is the parent? Who is the parent that gets this in the eye of himself? They're the utility now hear me out. They're the utility parent. What that mean?
They carry the bags on, They get anything the kids need from the overhead locker without inconvenience the kids at the time. All right, both parents are on the outside. Okay, so they can go right toilet, take a child to the toilet, while the utility.
Parents slides over.
In the meantime, midway through the flight, after a meal, perhaps there's a switch the other parent becomes a utility parent.
Do you know who the utility parents should be the strongest? Do you know why? So they can get the things up and down from the big thing at the top when you travel with kids. Let me finish and then you get off the plane.
The strong parent carries all the shit off the plane while the other parents.
So let's just get this straight. You don't think April is strong enough to reach up above it. Plenty strong, my god, to get something out of the overhead locks. There's plenty strong. She's not tall enough. Don't you shame her. I'm not high shaming. She can't control that. It's like five', seven she's like five to.
Four, stumpy little, arms, stumpy a little really strong. ARMS i just, think, okay you if we're here's another thing. Too if we go in your configuration and the strangers in the, aisle anytime that kid needs to move or get, out or someone needs to get something from the other, head a stranger is.
Inconvenient we have a bag that's small enough to have at your. Feet, well must be. Nice, Yes and and we always do a wee before we go on the. Plane get rid of the. Surprise predictable it's in our. Flight. Surprise we what if a surprise UT i pops? Up. Surprise let's. Okay if you're a parent and you're, listening you have an. OPINION i want to hear it is ash right or AM i? Right that's all? Right he's?
Right next, QUESTION i don't, Know i'm too fired. Up listen From. Darcy would you RATHER a kids be the dream all day and then nightmare bedtime? Routine OR b kids be a nightmare all day but go to sleep. Instantly can we need to fine? Instantly are we talking like?
Night let's go with. That, yeah, yeah, OKAY i THINK i think the dream would be like a spot, book like that length of, book just a, quick little express. Book does have no. Flaps, NO i don't think anyone does have flaps to just get ripped off by a, small redheaded. Child if you are a parent of a young child that hasn't ripped off the flaps of a spot, Book i'd be.
CONCERNED i wouldn't roll that kid into the into a, really really prestigious school because they've got their shit.
Together, Right, yeah that's unheard. OFHEAD i will go With, god it's a tough. ONE i don't think you should have to. CHOOSE i think at the, Moment i've kind of got the kids being a nightmare all day And i've got the nightmare. Routine, YEAH i would, say do you know? What do you know WHAT i would? RATHER i can? DO i have the patience to deal with a nightmare child during the. Day, okay WHEN i get to the end of the, day you, Know i'm out of. Energy i'm. Exhausted to have them eat their dinner without having to yell at, them without them getting off the seat every two. Seconds they eat their own. Dinner they don't argue when they go on the, bath they don't argue when they go to. Bed oh that's. Good that's. Bliss that is. Good that's.
Bliss, Yeah i'll just go to the airport a little bit. Earlier CAN i just quickly say this took about four hours to. REPORT i actually want to say something, else AND i just do want to say. Something, YEAH i want to just give a quick little shout out to two people really quickly That i'm calling doting dad super fans AND i didn't know.
This two Of apul's frank by the name Of ali And.
Tania they listen to every episode they like and comment and share on every video pretty much between the two of. Them when you were in the, Jungle ali voted more than twenty to thirty times every.
Day SO i just want to shout out to, them say thank you have thet friends Of. April, yeah they're like best.
Friends AND i didn't know this until yesterday And april was, like, yeah do you know that they listen to every episode they.
Like and share all the videos AND i was, like no, way. Blood SO i said THAT i would say thank, you thank. You we love. You ali And Tanya Ali antonia don't get the same. Thing so thank. You we appreciate the. Support and if you want to support, us you can do that by, subscribing giving us a, review writing a few comments On Apple, podcasts or spotify us some. Money follow us on social, media, yes, TikTok instagram And. Facebook Two dads, okay so t shirts are going to be? Live when now they're? Live? Now right? Now shut, Up i'm going to get. One there's only a couple left there. IS i got limited. Numbers we're currently sitting with two shipping containers in our backyard that's right next to the. Calendar grab them on the website www dot Two doting dads dot. Com very, well don't know what acts. In that was very well, said and we'll see you guys next. Week thank you.
Bye i've been two cities that never close, down From New york To Rioend Old London, town but no matter how, far oh how, WIDE I.
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