Episode 61: Lola & Meagan share a heartfelt conversation with conversion therapy survivor Drew Amstutz about growing up gay as a pastor's kid, being forced into conversion therapy, having suicidal ideations, and how he coped and found a way out.



If you have your own story about cults, high-control groups, manipulation, or abuse of power, shoot us an email at trustmepod@gmail.com.



FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@trustmepodcast

@oohlalola

@vibehigherbitch



OR TWITTER:

@trustmecultpod

@ohlalola

Episode 61: Lola &amp; Meagan share a heartfelt conversation with conversion therapy survivor Drew Amstutz about growing up gay as a pastor's kid, being forced into conversion therapy, having suicidal ideations, and how he coped and found a way out.

If you have your own story about cults, high-control groups, manipulation, or abuse of power, shoot us an email at trustmepod@gmail.com.

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
@trustmepodcast
@oohlalola
@vibehigherbitch

OR TWITTER:
@trustmecultpod
@ohlalola

Trust Me is a weekly interview podcast about cults, extreme belief, and the fine line between devotion and delusion—told through firsthand accounts from the people who lived it. Hosted by two women who’ve been in cults themselves, Lola Blanc and Meagan Elizabeth, the show features survivors from groups like Heaven’s Gate, the Manson Family, NXIVM, OneTaste and more–sharing personal stories of how they got in, how they got out, and everything in between.

Each week, they invite these guests alongside experts who can dive deep into seductive leaders, the darker aspects of organized religion, and the subtler shades of groupthink and the psychology of influence. Trust Me explores it all with unfiltered honesty, dark humor, and a lot of heart. This isn’t a sensationalized deep dive into cults—it’s a compassionate, first-person exploration of what it means to believe, to belong, and to break free. At the end of the day, wanting to believe in something bigger than yourself is one of the most human instincts there is.

Trust Me is a weekly interview podcast about cults, extreme belief, and the fine line between devotion and delusion&mdash;told through firsthand accounts from the people who lived it.&nbsp;Hosted by two women who&rsquo;ve been in cults themselves, Lola Blanc and Meagan Elizabeth, the show&nbsp;features survivors from groups like Heaven&rsquo;s Gate, the Manson Family, NXIVM, OneTaste and more&ndash;sharing personal stories of how they got in, how they got out, and everything in between.
Each week, they invite&nbsp;these guests&nbsp;alongside experts who can dive deep into seductive leaders, the darker aspects of organized religion, and the subtler shades of groupthink and the psychology of influence. Trust Me explores it all with unfiltered honesty, dark humor, and a lot of heart.&nbsp;This isn&rsquo;t a sensationalized deep dive into cults&mdash;it&rsquo;s a compassionate, first-person exploration of what it means to believe, to belong, and to break free.&nbsp;At the end of the day, wanting to believe in something bigger than yourself is one of the most human instincts there is.

Trust Me: Cults, Extreme Belief, and Manipulation

Drew Amstutz - Surviving Conversion Therapy

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/5065934b-099d-4f05-a640-b2de0131c76a/transcript

This week’s guest is Matthew Remski, author and host of the Conspirituality podcast. In part one, he talks about his own personal experiences with gurus and cultic dynamics, and what led him to the topic of cults and conspiracies. He tells the girls about his own religious upbringing, the mysterious seizures that led to his fascination with spirituality, and what drew him to his first charismatic guru, Michael Roach.

He explains what an average day was like following Roach for three high-demand years, traveling with him and attending his “classes,” what the physical manifestations of his spiritual experiences were like in both that group and the next one he joined, and what led to his disillusionment (with the first one).
Plus, next week: He’ll tell us why he cult-hopped, patterns he sees emerging in the world of cults and conspiracies, how we can keep political spaces healthy, and what Marx has to do with any of it.

SOURCES

 Conspirituality Podcast

This week&rsquo;s guest is Matthew Remski, author and host of the Conspirituality podcast. In part one, he talks about his own personal experiences with gurus and cultic dynamics, and what led him to the topic of cults and conspiracies. He tells the girls about his own religious upbringing, the mysterious seizures that led to his fascination with spirituality, and what drew him to his first charismatic guru, Michael Roach. He explains what an average day was like following Roach for three high-demand years, traveling with him and attending his &ldquo;classes,&rdquo; what the physical manifestations of his spiritual experiences were like in both that group and the next one he joined, and what led to his disillusionment (with the first one). Plus, next week: He&rsquo;ll tell us why he cult-hopped, patterns he sees emerging in the world of cults and conspiracies, how we can keep political spaces healthy, and what Marx has to do with any of it.
SOURCES
&nbsp;<a href="https://www.conspirituality.net/">Conspirituality Podcast</a>

Matthew Remski, Part 1 - Seizures, Spirituality, & the First Charismatic Guru

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/7060ac0e-b57c-403b-aa71-b428015b25b0/transcript

Author Harrison Hill joins the girls to discuss his new book The Oracle’s Daughter, which follows the rise and fall of a small cult called the Aggressive Christianity Missions Training Corps. He explains what the religious landscape in America looked like at the time, with the spiritual awakening and unrest of the 60s transitioning into a new Christianity movement, and how this group’s leader Lila Carter (who later became Deborah Greene) began her spiritual journey on a commune called the Bear Tribe.

They discuss the beginnings of Lila’s own visions, moaning and grunting and giving birth to what she called “spiritual soldiers,” how her following grew, and the parallels between her and Shaker leader Ann Lee. Naturally, the group became more controlling and cruel over time, changing people’s names to words like “Despised,” using physical punishment on its members, and even kidnapping a baby. And finally, they touch on how Lila’s daughter Sarah, the subject of the book, found her own way through all of this, eventually leaving and sharing her story of survival.

SOURCES

The Oracle’s Daugher: The Rise and Fall of an American Cult

The Cut - How Sarah Greene Escaped Her Mother's Cult

Author Harrison Hill joins the girls to discuss his new book&nbsp;The Oracle&rsquo;s Daughter, which follows the rise and fall of a small cult called the Aggressive Christianity Missions Training Corps. He explains what the religious landscape in America looked like at the time, with the spiritual awakening and unrest of the 60s transitioning into a new Christianity movement, and how this group&rsquo;s leader Lila Carter (who later became Deborah Greene) began her spiritual journey on a commune called the Bear Tribe. They discuss the beginnings of Lila&rsquo;s own visions, moaning and grunting and giving birth to what she called &ldquo;spiritual soldiers,&rdquo; how her following grew, and the parallels between her and Shaker leader Ann Lee. Naturally, the group became more controlling and cruel over time, changing people&rsquo;s names to words like &ldquo;Despised,&rdquo; using physical punishment on its members, and even kidnapping a baby. And finally, they touch on how Lila&rsquo;s daughter Sarah, the subject of the book, found her own way through all of this, eventually leaving and sharing her story of survival.
SOURCES
<a href="https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Oracles-Daughter/Harrison-Hill/9781668018873" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Oracles-Daughter/Harrison-Hill/9781668018873&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1775596055348000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2cjGKm-xhNCukUBR3T898K">The Oracle&rsquo;s Daugher: The Rise and Fall of an American Cult</a>
<a href="https://www.thecut.com/2021/06/sarah-green-escaped-mother-cult.html" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.thecut.com/2021/06/sarah-green-escaped-mother-cult.html&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1775596055348000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3ixq_cPJtxmvoKr8ZBqCpz">The Cut - How Sarah Greene Escaped Her Mother's Cult</a>

Harrison Hill - The Aggressive Christianity Missions Training Corps

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/e7f13ca8-4852-436f-823d-b42401892961/transcript

Celeste Gross joins the girls to talk about her experiences growing up in the Children of God - aka the Family - along with her many siblings. She explains how her parents joined when it still just seemed like a beautiful gospel movement that helped her dad get sober, but how it changed over time once they lived on a commune in Brazil and became reliant on donations for survival. She shares how every part of life was controlled–down to how many squares of toilet paper they were allowed to use.

They discuss the media ban the group imposed, and how only songs and TV shows made by the group were allowed--other than two very specific movies (which will surprise you). She shares how her family became homeless overnight after they finally left, and the extreme hardships they faced while trying to rebuild a life from nothing.

Celeste Gross joins the girls to talk about her experiences growing up in the Children of God - aka the Family - along with her many siblings. She explains how her parents joined when it still just seemed like a beautiful gospel movement that helped her dad get sober, but how it changed over time once they lived on a commune in Brazil and became reliant on donations for survival. She shares how every part of life was controlled&ndash;down to how many squares of toilet paper they were allowed to use. They discuss the media ban the group imposed, and how only songs and TV shows made by the group were allowed--other than two very specific movies (which will surprise you). She shares how her family became homeless overnight after they finally left, and the extreme hardships they faced while trying to rebuild a life from nothing.

Celeste Gross - Growing Up in the Children of God

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/b5c37246-469d-4856-b890-b41f00116ceb/transcript

Drew Amstutz - Surviving Conversion Therapy

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Trust Me: Cults, Extreme Belief, and Manipulation

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