Episode 61: Lola & Meagan share a heartfelt conversation with conversion therapy survivor Drew Amstutz about growing up gay as a pastor's kid, being forced into conversion therapy, having suicidal ideations, and how he coped and found a way out.



If you have your own story about cults, high-control groups, manipulation, or abuse of power, shoot us an email at trustmepod@gmail.com.



FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@trustmepodcast

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Episode 61: Lola &amp; Meagan share a heartfelt conversation with conversion therapy survivor Drew Amstutz about growing up gay as a pastor's kid, being forced into conversion therapy, having suicidal ideations, and how he coped and found a way out.

If you have your own story about cults, high-control groups, manipulation, or abuse of power, shoot us an email at trustmepod@gmail.com.

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
@trustmepodcast
@oohlalola
@vibehigherbitch

OR TWITTER:
@trustmecultpod
@ohlalola

Trust Me is a weekly interview podcast about cults, extreme belief, and the fine line between devotion and delusion—told through firsthand accounts from the people who lived it. Hosted by two women who’ve been in cults themselves, Lola Blanc and Meagan Elizabeth, the show features survivors from groups like Heaven’s Gate, the Manson Family, NXIVM, OneTaste and more–sharing personal stories of how they got in, how they got out, and everything in between.

Each week, they invite these guests alongside experts who can dive deep into seductive leaders, the darker aspects of organized religion, and the subtler shades of groupthink and the psychology of influence. Trust Me explores it all with unfiltered honesty, dark humor, and a lot of heart. This isn’t a sensationalized deep dive into cults—it’s a compassionate, first-person exploration of what it means to believe, to belong, and to break free. At the end of the day, wanting to believe in something bigger than yourself is one of the most human instincts there is.

Trust Me is a weekly interview podcast about cults, extreme belief, and the fine line between devotion and delusion&mdash;told through firsthand accounts from the people who lived it.&nbsp;Hosted by two women who&rsquo;ve been in cults themselves, Lola Blanc and Meagan Elizabeth, the show&nbsp;features survivors from groups like Heaven&rsquo;s Gate, the Manson Family, NXIVM, OneTaste and more&ndash;sharing personal stories of how they got in, how they got out, and everything in between.
Each week, they invite&nbsp;these guests&nbsp;alongside experts who can dive deep into seductive leaders, the darker aspects of organized religion, and the subtler shades of groupthink and the psychology of influence. Trust Me explores it all with unfiltered honesty, dark humor, and a lot of heart.&nbsp;This isn&rsquo;t a sensationalized deep dive into cults&mdash;it&rsquo;s a compassionate, first-person exploration of what it means to believe, to belong, and to break free.&nbsp;At the end of the day, wanting to believe in something bigger than yourself is one of the most human instincts there is.

Trust Me: Cults, Extreme Belief, and Manipulation

Drew Amstutz - Surviving Conversion Therapy

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/5065934b-099d-4f05-a640-b2de0131c76a/transcript

This week’s guest is Martina Castro, creator of podcast Two Faced: John of God, Exactly Right’s new podcast series about John of God, the Brazilian self-proclaimed healer and “psychic surgeon.” In part one, Martina explains John of God’s history and mythology, how he became internationally famous for his alleged healings (amplified by celebrities like Oprah), and the carefully primed environment he created called “the Casa.” Everyone dressed in white! Crystals! Waterfalls! And of course, lines of pilgrims watching him channel “doctor spirits” to supposedly heal the town's many visitors.

They discuss how his “free healings” weren’t as free as promised, his so-called “invisible surgeries” that supposedly worked from across the globe, and the in-person healings he did that involved putting objects up uncomfortably far up people’s nasal cavities. And next week, we’ll get into the explosive allegations that came out during the #MeToo movement.

SOURCES
Two-Faced: John of God
Dos Caras: Juan de Dios

This week&rsquo;s guest is Martina Castro, creator of podcast Two Faced: John of God, Exactly Right&rsquo;s new podcast series about John of God, the Brazilian self-proclaimed healer and &ldquo;psychic surgeon.&rdquo; In part one, Martina explains John of God&rsquo;s history and mythology, how he became internationally famous for his alleged healings (amplified by celebrities like Oprah), and the carefully primed environment he created called &ldquo;the Casa.&rdquo; Everyone dressed in white! Crystals! Waterfalls! And of course, lines of pilgrims watching him channel &ldquo;doctor spirits&rdquo; to supposedly heal the town's many visitors. They discuss how his &ldquo;free healings&rdquo; weren&rsquo;t as free as promised, his so-called &ldquo;invisible surgeries&rdquo; that supposedly worked from across the globe, and the in-person healings he did that involved putting objects up uncomfortably far up people&rsquo;s nasal cavities. And next week, we&rsquo;ll get into the explosive allegations that came out during the #MeToo movement.
SOURCES <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-faced-john-of-god/id1870675531">Two-Faced: John of God</a> <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dos-caras-juan-de-dios/id1870675916">Dos Caras: Juan de Dios</a>

Martina Castro, Part 1 - Psychic Surgeries & John of God's Spiritual Celebrity

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/e7b1fff0-642c-4766-8797-b3f001258503/transcript

This week, the show is joined by Parvati Shallow, two-time Survivor winner, current cast member on The Traitors, and author of Nice Girls Don’t Win: How I Burned it All Down to Claim My Power. Parvati shares about her childhood growing up in the Kashi Ashram, a high-control commune led by Joyce Green–or, as she made everyone call her, “Ma”. She discusses Joyce’s origin story and how she claimed to have experienced the stigmata, Joyce’s relationship with Ram Dass (who he later said he’d been bamboozled by her), and how she became increasingly coercive and controlling, including taking children from their parents and instructing members to scam their own families for money.

Parvati reflects on how her parents escaped but ultimately came back to the group, what it was like living on the commune and being wild in nature, and how surviving that environment shaped her instincts, resilience, and ability to read people–skills that later helped her win Survivor, and how she’s now unpacking what it means to reclaim her power on her own terms.

SOURCES

Nice Girls Don't Win

This week, the show is joined by&nbsp;Parvati&nbsp;Shallow, two-time Survivor winner, current cast member on The Traitors, and author of Nice Girls Don&rsquo;t Win: How I Burned it All Down to Claim My Power.&nbsp;Parvati&nbsp;shares about her childhood growing up in the Kashi Ashram, a high-control commune led by Joyce Green&ndash;or, as she made everyone call her, &ldquo;Ma&rdquo;. She discusses Joyce&rsquo;s origin story and how she claimed to have experienced the stigmata, Joyce&rsquo;s relationship with Ram Dass (who he later said he&rsquo;d been bamboozled by her), and how she became increasingly coercive and controlling, including taking children from their parents and instructing members to scam their own families for money. Parvati reflects on how her parents escaped but ultimately came back to the group, what it was like living on the commune and being wild in nature, and how surviving that environment shaped her instincts, resilience, and ability to read people&ndash;skills that later helped her win Survivor, and how she&rsquo;s now unpacking what it means to reclaim her power on her own terms.
SOURCES
<a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/739920/nice-girls-dont-win-by-parvati-shallow/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/739920/nice-girls-dont-win-by-parvati-shallow/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1770412487571000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1GVllEn9CP1ofuFtbVy9d1">Nice Girls Don't Win</a>

Parvati Shallow - From Surviving a Cult to Winning Survivor

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/9a03d8f2-a034-440c-aec2-b3e8001996fb/transcript

This week’s guest is Jenny Eliscu, journalist, radio host, and producer on Britney vs. Spears, which covered Britney Spears’ infamous conservatorship. She explains how Britney’s struggles in 2008 were used to justify a permanent conservatorship—despite the contradiction of her being deemed too incapacitated to control her own life, yet well enough to tour, record, and generate massive income that her father, whom she barely had a relationship with, was in charge of.

Drawing from decades of reporting, a personal relationship with Britney, and her work on Britney v. Spears, Jenny breaks down the severity of the conservatorship, stripping Britney of the right to use her phone, make medical decisions, or even have a say in who her lawyer was going to be, and where Britney’s fight to end the conservatorship finally landed.

This week&rsquo;s guest is Jenny Eliscu, journalist, radio host, and producer on Britney vs. Spears, which covered Britney Spears&rsquo; infamous conservatorship. She explains how Britney&rsquo;s struggles in 2008 were used to justify a permanent conservatorship&mdash;despite the contradiction of her being deemed too incapacitated to control her own life, yet well enough to tour, record, and generate massive income that her father, whom she barely had a relationship with, was in charge of. Drawing from decades of reporting, a personal relationship with Britney, and her work on Britney v. Spears, Jenny breaks down the severity of the conservatorship, stripping Britney of the right to use her phone, make medical decisions, or even have a say in who her lawyer was going to be, and where Britney&rsquo;s fight to end the conservatorship finally landed.

Jenny Eliscu - Conservatorships & Freeing Britney Spears

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/22d611ff-0c33-4f76-a3a1-b3e1003f3d67/transcript

Drew Amstutz - Surviving Conversion Therapy

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Trust Me: Cults, Extreme Belief, and Manipulation

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