Episode 61: Lola & Meagan share a heartfelt conversation with conversion therapy survivor Drew Amstutz about growing up gay as a pastor's kid, being forced into conversion therapy, having suicidal ideations, and how he coped and found a way out.



If you have your own story about cults, high-control groups, manipulation, or abuse of power, shoot us an email at trustmepod@gmail.com.



FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@trustmepodcast

@oohlalola

@vibehigherbitch



OR TWITTER:

@trustmecultpod

@ohlalola

Episode 61: Lola &amp; Meagan share a heartfelt conversation with conversion therapy survivor Drew Amstutz about growing up gay as a pastor's kid, being forced into conversion therapy, having suicidal ideations, and how he coped and found a way out.

If you have your own story about cults, high-control groups, manipulation, or abuse of power, shoot us an email at trustmepod@gmail.com.

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
@trustmepodcast
@oohlalola
@vibehigherbitch

OR TWITTER:
@trustmecultpod
@ohlalola

Trust Me is a weekly interview podcast about cults, extreme belief, and the fine line between devotion and delusion—told through firsthand accounts from the people who lived it. Hosted by two women who’ve been in cults themselves, Lola Blanc and Meagan Elizabeth, the show features survivors from groups like Heaven’s Gate, the Manson Family, NXIVM, OneTaste and more–sharing personal stories of how they got in, how they got out, and everything in between.

Each week, they invite these guests alongside experts who can dive deep into seductive leaders, the darker aspects of organized religion, and the subtler shades of groupthink and the psychology of influence. Trust Me explores it all with unfiltered honesty, dark humor, and a lot of heart. This isn’t a sensationalized deep dive into cults—it’s a compassionate, first-person exploration of what it means to believe, to belong, and to break free. At the end of the day, wanting to believe in something bigger than yourself is one of the most human instincts there is.

Trust Me is a weekly interview podcast about cults, extreme belief, and the fine line between devotion and delusion&mdash;told through firsthand accounts from the people who lived it.&nbsp;Hosted by two women who&rsquo;ve been in cults themselves, Lola Blanc and Meagan Elizabeth, the show&nbsp;features survivors from groups like Heaven&rsquo;s Gate, the Manson Family, NXIVM, OneTaste and more&ndash;sharing personal stories of how they got in, how they got out, and everything in between.
Each week, they invite&nbsp;these guests&nbsp;alongside experts who can dive deep into seductive leaders, the darker aspects of organized religion, and the subtler shades of groupthink and the psychology of influence. Trust Me explores it all with unfiltered honesty, dark humor, and a lot of heart.&nbsp;This isn&rsquo;t a sensationalized deep dive into cults&mdash;it&rsquo;s a compassionate, first-person exploration of what it means to believe, to belong, and to break free.&nbsp;At the end of the day, wanting to believe in something bigger than yourself is one of the most human instincts there is.

Trust Me: Cults, Extreme Belief, and Manipulation

Drew Amstutz - Surviving Conversion Therapy

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/5065934b-099d-4f05-a640-b2de0131c76a/transcript

We’re back with twins Larena and Elyse Wynn, also known as Mothermary. In part 2 this week they’ll talk about how Elyse got fed up with being obsessive about sin all the time, which led her to hitch a ride out of Idaho and into Salt Lake City. Living with former Mormons, she explains how that’s where her worldview began to crack–especially after she attended Pride for the first time.

Meanwhile, Larena talks about how her marriage–and her time in the church–ended, and the girls will share how they began their journeys working as professional dominatrixes. They discuss the importance of boundaries and communication, the parallels and differences between power dynamics in BDSM and religion, and whether someone in a religion that insists they be submissive can truly enter the mindset called “sub space.”

Plus, all about their band, and what their music means to them.

We&rsquo;re back with twins Larena and Elyse Wynn, also known as Mothermary. In part 2 this week they&rsquo;ll talk about how Elyse got fed up with being obsessive about sin all the time, which led her to hitch a ride out of Idaho and into Salt Lake City. Living with former Mormons, she explains how that&rsquo;s where her worldview began to crack&ndash;especially after she attended Pride for the first time.
Meanwhile, Larena talks about how her marriage&ndash;and her time in the church&ndash;ended, and the girls will share how they began their journeys working as professional dominatrixes. They discuss the importance of boundaries and communication, the parallels and differences between power dynamics in BDSM and religion, and whether someone in a religion that insists they be submissive can truly enter the mindset called &ldquo;sub space.&rdquo;
Plus, all about their band, and what their music means to them.

Larena & Elyse Wynn, Part 2 - Leaving Mormonism, Becoming Dominatrixes, and Reclaiming Power with BDSM

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/79679572-0c7f-4e0b-8577-b4c5017b5621/transcript

This week is part 1 with musicians, identical twins, and former Mormons turned dominatrixes Larena and Elyse Wynn, also known by their band name Mothermary. The girls share what it was like being raised in the LDS church, and how “Montana Mormons” may have had a more fear-based culture than Mormons in other parts of the country. They’ll talk about going to BYU Idaho, and how after having sex with her boyfriend—one of the worst sins you could commit in the church—Larena was told by her bishop that she needed to marry her boyfriend in order to not get kicked out of college.

Elyse describes having a similar experience in high school, and how both were told by their bishop to read a book called The Miracle of Forgiveness in order to repent, which basically told them that all the things that make you human are wrong. Elyse explains how she became obsessed with not sinning, why it made her so depressed she couldn’t eat, and how she realized she needed to get out of there.

In part two next week, Larena tells the story of how she got out of her marriage, and how they both came to work as dominatrixes.

This week is part 1 with musicians, identical twins, and former Mormons turned dominatrixes Larena and Elyse Wynn, also known by their band name Mothermary. The girls share what it was like being raised in the LDS church, and how &ldquo;Montana Mormons&rdquo; may have had a more fear-based culture than Mormons in other parts of the country. They&rsquo;ll talk about going to BYU Idaho, and how after having sex with her boyfriend&mdash;one of the worst sins you could commit in the church&mdash;Larena was told by her bishop that she needed to marry her boyfriend in order to not get kicked out of college.
Elyse describes having a similar experience in high school, and how both were told by their bishop to read a book called The Miracle of Forgiveness in order to repent, which basically told them that all the things that make you human are wrong. Elyse explains how she became obsessed with not sinning, why it made her so depressed she couldn&rsquo;t eat, and how she realized she needed to get out of there.
In part two next week, Larena tells the story of how she got out of her marriage, and how they both came to work as dominatrixes.

Larena & Elyse Wynn - Montana Mormons, Sex at BYU, and the “Miracle" of Forgiveness

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/dc9bae2e-2ce4-49c7-9a85-b4bf01550866/transcript

This week’s guest is psychology researcher and lecturer Dr. John Hunter, joining the show to talk about intensive self-help seminars–known as “large group awareness trainings,” or LGATs–and the emotions they produce. He shares about his personal experience with bipolar disorder and hypomania, and how the LGAT his employer sent him to seemed to induce a state of hypomania in its attendees.

John explains his dopamine hypothesis, why these trainings feel so euphoric at the end (and how rarely people tend to genuinely transform in the long-term), and how some folks have even entered prolonged manic states after attending an LGAT. But also, as always: how it’s not completely black and white.

This week&rsquo;s guest is psychology researcher and lecturer Dr. John Hunter, joining the show to talk about intensive self-help seminars&ndash;known as &ldquo;large group awareness trainings,&rdquo; or LGATs&ndash;and the emotions they produce. He shares about his personal experience with bipolar disorder and hypomania, and how the LGAT his employer sent him to seemed to induce a state of hypomania in its attendees.
John explains his dopamine hypothesis, why these trainings feel so euphoric at the end (and how rarely people tend to genuinely transform in the long-term), and how some folks have even entered prolonged manic states after attending an LGAT. But also, as always: how it&rsquo;s not completely black and white.

John Hunter - Manufacturing Mania in Self-Help Seminars

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/fe96dfcc-6c2e-42fd-b03f-b4b8010b2ed8/transcript

Drew Amstutz - Surviving Conversion Therapy

In 1 playlist(s)

Trust Me: Cults, Extreme Belief, and Manipulation

Social links

Follow podcast

Recent clips