Have you ever had a fight with someone that starts off small but then suddenly turns super personal, like you’re back in primary school, trading playground insults?

In this episode of But Are You Happy, clinical psychologist Dr. Anastasia Hronis shares how to have what I call a “good fight” — one that’s free from criticism, defensiveness, and all those traps we fall into when emotions run high.

You'll also learn:
What a bad fight looks like 
The difference between expressing a complaint and criticising someone
The types of negative communication
How to have a "good fight" that's fair and respectful 

Watch the podcast on YouTube here. 

If you or someone you know needs support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. Both services are available 24/7 for free, confidential mental health support. 

Want to get in touch with us? DM @butareyouhappypod on Instagram or send us a voice memo. Our hosts are ready to hear your dilemmas—think of it as free therapy!

CREDITS:

Hosts: Ashani Dante & Dr Anastasia Hronis

Executive Producer: Naima Brown

Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman

Audio Producer: Jacob Round

Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on. 

Have you ever had a fight with someone that starts off small but then suddenly turns super personal, like you&rsquo;re back in primary school, trading playground insults?
In this episode of But Are You Happy, clinical psychologist Dr. Anastasia Hronis shares how to have what I call a &ldquo;good fight&rdquo; &mdash; one that&rsquo;s free from criticism, defensiveness, and all those traps we fall into when emotions run high.
You'll also learn:
<ul>
<li data-start="510" data-end="526">What a bad fight looks like&nbsp;</li>
<li data-start="510" data-end="526">The difference between expressing a complaint and criticising someone</li>
<li data-start="510" data-end="526">The types of negative communication</li>
<li data-start="510" data-end="526">How to have a "good fight" that's fair and respectful&nbsp;</li>
</ul>
Watch the podcast on YouTube <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@ButAreYouHappyPodcast/featured">here</a>.&nbsp;
If you or someone you know needs support, contact <a href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/">Lifeline</a> on 13 11 14 or <a href="https://www.beyondblue.org.au/">Beyond Blue</a> on 1300 22 4636. Both services are available 24/7 for free, confidential mental health support.&nbsp;
Want to get in touch with us? DM <a href="https://www.instagram.com/butareyouhappypod/">@butareyouhappypod</a> on Instagram or <a href="https://help.mamamia.com.au/en-US/send-a-podcast-voice-note-467960">send us a voice memo</a>. Our hosts are ready to hear your dilemmas&mdash;think of it as free therapy!
CREDITS:
Hosts: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/ashanidante/">Ashani Dante</a> &amp; <a href="https://www.instagram.com/anastasia.hronis/?hl=en">Dr Anastasia Hronis</a>
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/zotheysay/?hl=en"></a>Executive Producer: Naima Brown
<a href="https://www.flexmami.com/"></a>Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman
Audio Producer: Jacob Round
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on.&nbsp;

This isn't a show about therapy. It is therapy. Each episode, you're invited to be a fly on the wall for a raw, unscripted, and intimate session with a real couple. These are the conversations that usually happen behind closed doors - the painful truths, the confusing patterns, and the hard-earned breakthroughs that define a relationship. This is the sound of two people fighting for a future together.

This isn't a show&nbsp;about&nbsp;therapy. It&nbsp;is&nbsp;therapy. Each episode, you're invited to be a fly on the wall for a raw, unscripted, and intimate session with a real couple. These are the conversations that usually happen behind closed doors - the painful truths, the confusing patterns, and the hard-earned breakthroughs that define a relationship. This is the sound of two people fighting for a future together.

This Is Why We Fight

How To Have A 'Good Fight' In A Relationship

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/3ea926be-9be7-482a-8ac3-a44f016e43d1/clips/20677501-699e-4f52-b561-b425018827f2/transcript

This mum & daughter have been asked to reflect on the default behaviours that keep them stuck in the unhelpful dynamic they’re in when conflict arises, and what to seek more positive and helpful behaviours that foster connection and communication.

This session explore how trauma, mental health challenges and other diagnoses can impact even our closest relationships, and what real repair looks like. 

Listen to Part 1 of Leisel & Ellie's sessions here. 

Resources (Australia-only)
1800RESPECT: The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service.
Beyond Blue: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention.
Lifeline Australia: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services.
Motivated Minds: Learn more about host Sarah Bays’ practice.
Relationships Australia: A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities.

The End Bits
Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply here. 
Host: Sarah Bays
Executive Producer: Naima Brown
Studio Engineer: Lu Hill
Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round

This mum &amp; daughter have been asked to reflect on the default behaviours that keep them stuck in the unhelpful dynamic they&rsquo;re in when conflict arises, and what to seek more positive and helpful behaviours that foster connection and communication.
This session explore how trauma, mental health challenges and other diagnoses can impact even our closest relationships, and what real repair looks like.&nbsp;
<a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/podcasts/this-is-why-we-fight/leisel-and-ellie-part-one/">Listen to Part 1 of Leisel &amp; Ellie's sessions here</a>.&nbsp;
Resources (Australia-only)
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=1800+respect&amp;rlz=1C5CHFA_enAU733AU733&amp;oq=1800+respect&amp;gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIMCAEQABgKGLEDGIAEMgcIAhAAGIAEMgcIAxAAGIAEMgcIBBAAGIAEMgcIBRAAGIAEMgcIBhAAGIAEMgcIBxAAGIAEMgcICBAAGIAEMgcICRAAGIAE0gEIMjQ5MGowajeoAgCwAgA&amp;sourceid=chrome&amp;ie=UTF-8#:~:text=family%20and%20domestic%C2%A0...-,Home%20%7C%201800RESPECT,https%3A//1800respect.org.au,-1800RESPECT%20is%20the">1800RESPECT:</a> The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service.</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.beyondblue.org.au/">Beyond Blue</a>: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention.</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/">Lifeline Australia</a>: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services.</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://motivatedminds.com.au/">Motivated Minds:</a> Learn more about host Sarah Bays&rsquo; practice.</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.relationships.org.au/">Relationships Australia: </a>A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities.</li>
</ul>
The End Bits
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScTKf_CLpsgfpToo8r3aJRQhSe9c2h7oCZUAPSZb9MtSKJInQ/viewform?usp=sharing&amp;ouid=104328501715380098426">here.</a>&nbsp;</li>
<li aria-level="1">Host: <a href="https://motivatedminds.com.au/">Sarah Bays</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Executive Producer: <a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/author/naima-brown/">Naima Brown</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Studio Engineer: Lu Hill</li>
<li aria-level="1">Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round</li>
</ul>

Leisel & Ellie [Part 2 of 2]: Can They Repair After Estrangement?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/3ea926be-9be7-482a-8ac3-a44f016e43d1/clips/ce2dce93-cac2-4a03-bb7f-b3a8016f6f4a/transcript

Leisel & Ellie used to be quite close, the kind of mother and daughter that shared clothes and loved spending time together. But, after a series of traumatic events, they went through a long period of estrangement and miscommunication that left them both heartbroken. They’re hoping that therapy can help them rebuild and repair their relationship.

Listen to Part 2 of Leisel & Ellie's sessions here. 

Resources (Australia-only)
1800RESPECT: The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service.
Beyond Blue: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention.
Lifeline Australia: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services.
Motivated Minds: Learn more about host Sarah Bays’ practice.
Relationships Australia: A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities.

The End Bits
Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply here. 
Host: Sarah Bays
Executive Producer: Naima Brown
Studio Engineer: Lu Hill
Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round

 

Leisel &amp; Ellie used to be quite close, the kind of mother and daughter that shared clothes and loved spending time together. But, after a series of traumatic events, they went through&nbsp;a long period of estrangement and miscommunication that left them both heartbroken. They&rsquo;re hoping that therapy can help them rebuild and repair their relationship.
<a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/podcasts/this-is-why-we-fight/leisel-and-ellie-part-two/">Listen to Part 2 of Leisel &amp; Ellie's sessions here</a>.&nbsp;
Resources (Australia-only)
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=1800+respect&amp;rlz=1C5CHFA_enAU733AU733&amp;oq=1800+respect&amp;gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIMCAEQABgKGLEDGIAEMgcIAhAAGIAEMgcIAxAAGIAEMgcIBBAAGIAEMgcIBRAAGIAEMgcIBhAAGIAEMgcIBxAAGIAEMgcICBAAGIAEMgcICRAAGIAE0gEIMjQ5MGowajeoAgCwAgA&amp;sourceid=chrome&amp;ie=UTF-8#:~:text=family%20and%20domestic%C2%A0...-,Home%20%7C%201800RESPECT,https%3A//1800respect.org.au,-1800RESPECT%20is%20the">1800RESPECT:</a> The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service.</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.beyondblue.org.au/">Beyond Blue</a>: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention.</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/">Lifeline Australia</a>: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services.</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://motivatedminds.com.au/">Motivated Minds:</a> Learn more about host Sarah Bays&rsquo; practice.</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.relationships.org.au/">Relationships Australia: </a>A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities.</li>
</ul>
The End Bits
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScTKf_CLpsgfpToo8r3aJRQhSe9c2h7oCZUAPSZb9MtSKJInQ/viewform?usp=sharing&amp;ouid=104328501715380098426">here.</a>&nbsp;</li>
<li aria-level="1">Host: <a href="https://motivatedminds.com.au/">Sarah Bays</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Executive Producer: <a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/author/naima-brown/">Naima Brown</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Studio Engineer: Lu Hill</li>
<li aria-level="1">Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;

Leisel & Ellie [Part 1 of 2]: Big Blow Ups & Silent Treatments  - A Mum & Daughter Trying To Reconnect

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/3ea926be-9be7-482a-8ac3-a44f016e43d1/clips/7dc2c73e-84c2-49a2-b8ca-b3a801696dfe/transcript

Beth & Wayne have been asked to examine how co-dependancy, emotional frustration and a low-tolerance for conflict actually create more miscommunication in their marriage, often including Beth stepping in to "over function" while Wayne keeps his feelings to himself. Can they break these cycles and find their equilibrium again? 

Listen to Part 1 of Beth & Wayne's sessions here. 

Resources (Australia-only)
1800RESPECT: The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service.
Beyond Blue: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention.
Lifeline Australia: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services.
Motivated Minds: Learn more about host Sarah Bays’ practice.
Relationships Australia: A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities.

The End Bits
Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply here. 
Host: Sarah Bays
Executive Producer: Naima Brown
Studio Engineer: Lu Hill
Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round
Production support: Leah Porges and Coco Lavigne
Follow This Is Why We Fight on Instagram for sneak peeks and more relationship therapy content

Explore all Mamamia’s podcasts here.

$21 off - Mamamia’s massive Black Friday Deal.
Get an all access pass to Mamamia for just $48. Enjoy $21 off a yearly subscription, ends 1 December 2025! Use the discount code: WHYWEFIGHTFRIDAY

Beth &amp; Wayne have been asked to examine how co-dependancy, emotional frustration and a low-tolerance for conflict actually create more miscommunication in their marriage, often including Beth stepping in to "over function" while Wayne keeps his feelings to himself. Can they break these cycles and find their equilibrium again?&nbsp;
<a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/podcasts/this-is-why-we-fight/beth-and-wayne-part-one/">Listen to Part 1 of Beth &amp; Wayne's sessions here</a>.&nbsp;
Resources (Australia-only)
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=1800+respect&amp;rlz=1C5CHFA_enAU733AU733&amp;oq=1800+respect&amp;gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIMCAEQABgKGLEDGIAEMgcIAhAAGIAEMgcIAxAAGIAEMgcIBBAAGIAEMgcIBRAAGIAEMgcIBhAAGIAEMgcIBxAAGIAEMgcICBAAGIAEMgcICRAAGIAE0gEIMjQ5MGowajeoAgCwAgA&amp;sourceid=chrome&amp;ie=UTF-8#:~:text=family%20and%20domestic%C2%A0...-,Home%20%7C%201800RESPECT,https%3A//1800respect.org.au,-1800RESPECT%20is%20the">1800RESPECT:</a> The national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information, and support service.</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.beyondblue.org.au/">Beyond Blue</a>: For support with anxiety, depression, and suicide prevention.</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/">Lifeline Australia</a>: For 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services.</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://motivatedminds.com.au/">Motivated Minds:</a> Learn more about host Sarah Bays&rsquo; practice.</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.relationships.org.au/">Relationships Australia: </a>A leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families, and communities.</li>
</ul>
The End Bits
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Want To Be On This Is Why We Fight? Apply <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScTKf_CLpsgfpToo8r3aJRQhSe9c2h7oCZUAPSZb9MtSKJInQ/viewform?usp=sharing&amp;ouid=104328501715380098426">here.</a>&nbsp;</li>
<li aria-level="1">Host: <a href="https://motivatedminds.com.au/">Sarah Bays</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Executive Producer: <a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/author/naima-brown/">Naima Brown</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Studio Engineer: Lu Hill</li>
<li aria-level="1">Audio production: Thom Lion and Jacob Round</li>
<li aria-level="1">Production support: Leah Porges and Coco Lavigne</li>
<li aria-level="1">Follow <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thisiswhywefightpod/">This Is Why We Fight</a> on Instagram for sneak peeks and more relationship therapy content</li>
</ul>
Explore all Mamamia&rsquo;s podcasts&nbsp;<a href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/podcasts/">here.</a>
$21 off - Mamamia&rsquo;s massive Black Friday Deal. Get an all access pass to Mamamia for just $48. Enjoy $21 off a yearly subscription, ends 1 December 2025! Use the discount code: WHYWEFIGHTFRIDAY

Beth & Wayne [Part 2 of 2]: Can They Find A New Way Forward?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/3ea926be-9be7-482a-8ac3-a44f016e43d1/clips/bbbcac60-7032-4ed0-9f60-b3a0017ad1b5/transcript

How To Have A 'Good Fight' In A Relationship

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