Hands-on dads look great because the bar is low: Singapore father on unfair parenting expectations

Do fathers in Singapore get a bad reputation for being hands-off?

Minister in the Prime Minister’s Office Indranee Rajah, who chairs the new Marriage and Parenthood Reset Workgroup, drew some flak for speaking about career “detours” as something that should be normalised for mothers - with little mention of a fathers’ role in the parenting journey.

Why do we frame the parenting experience as mainly a woman’s role?

In this episode of the podcast, I put that question to two fathers: new stay-at-home dad Jeggan Rajendram and Kevin Goh, the Group Head of engagement and programmes at the Centre for Fathering.

We discuss who dads benchmark themselves to and whether mothers are preventing fathers from being more hands on.

Highlights (click/tap above):

2:05 Are fathers missing from the parenting conversation?

3:30 “Regret minimisation”: Jeggan’s decision to be a stay-at-home dad

7:10 “People still look at me like I was crazy.”

11:27 Mums get a ‘head start’ on parenting

15:08 What’s holding fathers back from being more hands-on?

17:20 Mums, please involve dads, and let go

21:20 Whose standard is the right one?

24:05 The loss of identity as a stay-at-home parent

30:30 Being the stay-at-home parent doesn’t have to be forever

33:27 Encouraging dads to be more active parents