Steve Mice Story, Pastors, Ask Steve, Dating and Lies and more.

Published Apr 22, 2019, 11:00 AM

Happy Monday y'all!  The show starts and Uncle Steve has a hype man!  Big Dog takes us down memory lane and it involves his suitcase and mice.  Church Complaints is here and somebody got shanked over play money.  If you have questions, perfect because we have Ask Steve.  Fool #2 murders another one in the spirit of Donna Summer.  Comedy Roulette involves your cell phone.  What are the top things we lie about on a date?  Is break up sex the best type or nah?  Today in Closing Remarks, The CEO talks about probability vs possibility and much more.

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Y'all know what time of y'all don't know. Y'all back a suit on, back to back down, giving them move like the milking buck bus things and its cub. Y'all good it. Steve listening to movie together for stum Please, Mommy, I don't join joined me to be doing men. You gotta turn you, you gotta turn to turn them out, turn, got to turn them out. Turn the water the water. Go me. Come come on your back. I shore will a good morning everybody. You're listening to the voice, come on dig me now, one and only. Steve Harvey got a radio show. Oh man, Steve Harvey got a radio show because God. Because God is simply amazing. Because God is off the chain, because God is over the top, because God is all that in a bag of chips. God is amazing. Man. God will take you places that you never ever thought you would go. Oh you know what? It Sometimes it amazes me when I'm watching all people talk about themselves and their careers and where they're adding life and things and they and I hear people say, you know, always dreamed of being him. You know, I can understand when a person says that I've always dreamed of something like this would happen to me. But I want you to think about that for a second. Did you really see it just like that though? Did you really really see it just like that? Did you really know that God was gonna bring you through all he bought you through to get you to this place? Did you know that, in spite of the losses along the way that would crumble the average person, that somehow He kept you through it all and that's how you got here? Did you think of you know? I mean, you know, you know. I mean, since you're so busy talking about yourself now, have you forgotten all the times He was bringing you through when you didn't see no way that you was gonna get through? Do you remember that? So when you sit there and you say, I dreamed of this, this is what I always saw happening, I don't really think. So, I don't really think if you take inventory, or real close inventory of your life and you look back on it all, I'm looking at the moment right now, remember where you come from. See, that's what gets me emotional sometimes, that's what makes me tear up, because when something is happening to me in the moment, it ain't the moment. For me, it's the memory of how I got there. It's the recollection of all the things, all the nights, all the days in that car, all the times by myself when I felt like I wasn't gonna make it. But somehow I'm standing somewhere and somebody passing out an the ward to me or somebody calling my name, that's that. Did you really think you was gonna make it? Then? So so so, since you're talking about this is what I always dreamed of? Did you really think in those moments right there that you would even be standing here today? That's why I try to I try to give people to understand, you know, and and and and this is kind of for young people today what I'm about to say. But then guess what I Sometimes I have to remind myself of it, So I guess it's still kind of everybody, you know, because I work with a lot of young people, and so many times, man, young people just don't understand what all it takes. And I know, and if you're a full grown a dot, if you're forty, you you really understanding where I'm coming from, because you know, it's listen to me, young people or anybody that don't understand this, that you got to do some things that you don't want to do in order to do what you want to do. You have to understand this principle of success or else you are not going to become successful. I got what you want to do. I got your ultimate goal? Is this, that, and the other? I got all of that. But in the meantime, though, there are some necessary steps that you have to take in order to become successful, and you cannot skip these steps. You can't jump over these steps just because you want to be rich Friday, I got that. I got that. Everybody got that. But if you want this, whatever you're talking about, whether it's money or success or fame or climbing the corporate letter or this is the position or you all, that's fine and then it. Please hold on to your dreams. Dreams come true. But in the meantime, let me remind you of something that you gotta do some things you don't want to do in order to do what you want to do. You must get this in your head that are some survival things that you have to master in order to do what you want to do. Let's take it down. Let's say you want to be rich and famous. Let's just say that's it for you. Let's it. It's a lot of other ways of being successful. Please don't think that's the only one. But I'm just saying, let's just say yours is rich and famous, and let's say some miraculous way God made you rich and famous. Next Friday, Ta ya you rich and you famous? Next Friday? Can I share something with you? This is not going to last for you. You know why because you have not done the things necessary. You have not done the things that you have to do in order to do the things you want. So now you're rich and famous, How you gonna know how to budget money? How are you gonna know how to get up and keep clawing towards the top when you fall off your pedestal? How are you gonna know how to reinvent yourself if you didn't even invent yourself in the first place. See, it's so many things You got to know about something, and you think, because it's what you want right now, it's supposed to happen just now. It's a process. When you ask God for something. Please know, God know the process. He knows the necessary steps to take you through. Don't lose your patience with God because your dreams ain't coming true right now? Man? You know you know I think the best way y'all is for me. I just used myself as an example. I really do understand why God has given me the life he's giving me so far. I understand to being homeless. Part now, I get to not being successful when I want it to part Now, I get it. I got the delayed entry into the field of choice for myself. I got it now. I've been wanting to be on TV and a little comedian since I was nine years old. But guess what, I didn't get there until I was twenty eight. But see, I didn't get it then. I was mad at God. You know what, I won't knop sent it here here. I got exactly what you want. But I got this process. I want you to go through to get here too, because see, I'm fit to take you somewhere. You don't know nothing, But one day you're gonna have a radio show with You're a little stupid behind. You don't know. This year, I'm gonna bless you with a radio show. You don't even know it. That's why I say every more that Steve Harvey got a radio show because see I didn't I didn't see this one coming. But see God had a plan for me. Was the blueprint of my life. So God said, what I'm gonna do is, I'm gonna make your life a little rough for you. I'm gonna toss you up a little bit. I'm I'm gonna let you make some of these stupid decisions you wanna make it I'm gonna make you learn from them. I'm I'm gonna let you be homeless for a little while. I'm gonna let you not get into your field a choice until you're twenty eight. I'm gonna have people talking about if we had only seen him when he was younger. I ain't gonna let you get your first can your name till your thirty eight. I'm gonna make you go through some things because one day I'm gonna put a microphone in front of your mouth, and I want you to honor me. I want you to talk about me. I want you to tell people what I bought you through. I want you to give people inspirational moments where they can see that your life was jacked up for a minute and I turned your life around for you. That's God dealing with me. See, so now I finally understand why I went through the life I went through, so I can have something to say. See, I ain't over here telling you about what I think are happened. I'm telling you what I know can happen. That God does make dreams come true, but sometime it take a minute. Sometimes you're gonna have to do some things you don't want to do in order to do what you want to do. Yeah, I finally got on TV, but I had to learn some things along the way. See, maybe He waited for me to get some of these messages for he gave me this gift that I want so I would appreciate it more. See when you don't get into comedy when you to you twenty eight and you've been wanting it since you nine, Now when you get into it, you appreciate it more. Then. Guess what I'd been through so many struggles and a divorce and life had turned me around. So when I became homeless, I still didn't give up because I had appreciated the fact that it took me so long to get here that nothing was gonna deter me. And he gave me the fortitude and the strength to hang on in there. Just don't leave him out the mix, okay, because you're trying to do this by yourself and it ain't working for you. All right, all that you, I'm gonna be tripping it day you're listening, Ladies and gentlemen, man, have your undivided attention. This is the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Feel whatever it is you want to feel. But notice here, just here, real, this is real. You heard it, radio show, We're in your life, were part of it. It's moaning time, hype man. I love it. Yeah, my hype man. Watch this here. It's moaning time. You heard him. It's Mon's ask Let me have your undivided attention, attention right there. My job, the junior job, is an aggravat end up doing whatever. I want you to listen carefully, I mean listen up. You feel me, you ask us, You need to work with that. It's about to go down. Don't let him tell you twice. Come one man from sea to shining Sea. Don't make us do it again in La La I knew y'all. Chicago, silly letter shotte Miss Sipper, mississipper. This hurts? Why is he walking back and forth? Though, like he's really on stage. I'm on stage. Don't stop, Junior, Yo, you're repeating. It's just unnecessary. Yeah, yeah, but I got to go in with him. No, he's the hype man. Hype man. You ain't even by the time I say something right, you don't need I'm in tears. Oh my god, I say something else, Steve, He's stupid. I want everybody to know how it's gonna be in Hill. It's gonna be what it's gonna be in Hill. He's in it. You don't believe it. Watch this hill, watch us, watch what I'm saying. Watch this hill, Watch this hill. Hip yep, don't believe let's just watching. Ye. I'm gonna get breathing hard and everything. Sure, get one more, come on, give him one more, give me one more, let him have it, letting them have It's too early for this man. This too early for this right off his full break. You ain't gonna make it for a while. You're not gonna make it. He's got his own, hi man. Yeah, one more? See before we go, hurry, were about to be botted, botted and busting off off in here. We'll be back right after this. At thirty two, after you're listening to Sting show, this is our time for something funny. Steve has uh my story a story about mice out of Memphis, but some names have been changed to protect the innocent. As we are first forty Yeah, yeah, I was a young act I wasn't in the business. Loan had a friend of mine that lived in Memphis. This guy and so I had checked into a hotel down there, but it was like really really messed up. It was only like, you know, fourteen dollars a night, you know, that was outside right there, and so yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I could see the car call up to so I called him on his house phone. I said, hey, man, I'm in a bad fight. He said, come on over to the house. Man. My mom and near him. They don't mind, you know, they love you. Get yourself something to eat. So I got over there about ten thirty. His mom and near him in the bed, his brother on the couch sleep. I'm in the kitchen with him and were eating. So he said, hey, man, just enjoy yourself. I'm going out. I said, man, I gotta get up early in the morning, like about five in the morning. Get back out on this road. I got to drive somewhere. He said, no problem, man, you can stay at my sister's baby because she gone. So I'm in her sister bed, a little bit of twin bed and I hit e naises and my suitcase is on the floor. Then I look and a mouse crossed out of my suitcase. Now I got to get up and unpack. It's about one thirty. I got to unpackcase open. Yeah. Ok, I wasn't thinking another how the hell I know? So now I got to unpack, shake out everything, make sure I ain't got no mice in this luggage because I can't put this in my car because I live in it. But you can't live in it's a mice and infested car. Yeah, and I'm just driving the ass cross country. I'm committing felling it. So I get up and I said, man, let me go in the living room. Man, what the hell going on? So I go in the living room and I'm in a I'm in a I'm in a chair and I hit it scratching by my head and I turned around and it's a mouse on the top of the lazy board chair by my head. Oh my god, Oh my god. Now I'd stood straight up idn't damn didn't touch the ceiling and I had knodded off. So that's about one thirty in the morning. Now, now, my boy he gone out. So I sit up and I noticed this mouse run across the floor from under the couch to this big round coffee table the head in the middle that was made out of fur, but you could go up on. So I saw this mouse run up under the tai. I said, man, this one on the back of the chair, one on table. I said, I'm any damn might sitting here. So then the mouse just shot across the TV, just laying across the damn TV. It's flow model. So I got here, had a fold away chair against the wall. You know the metal fold away chairs they have at church. So I got him metal fold away chair and put it up, and I got another one from my feet to get up in, and I put my foot up in this chair. I sweat to God, I'm not lying to you at all. The damn mice was everywhere. They start running across the floor. I said, man, is it one thirty in? Is it is this? The prime is gonna ask him about that. They was running across the floor. Man, they was crawling all up on the backs of the chairs. And I look up on top of the curtain and it's two mice on top of the curtain. So I look at the curtains, and the curtains is moving. The mice is crawling up the back of the curtains, up on the top rod. Now his brother is on his brother brother. No no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah. Yeah, my boy's brother was on the couch sleep his little brother. He's sixteen. The mice all over the couch. They on his show. He ain't woke up. Now I'm looking at it. I'm so scared for this boy. Oh my god, I said, man, it's actually enough of a motor and they could really start eating your Hey. Now, you'd be able to get him in time, because they're just mice. But these mics up and I kid, y'all not. I've never seen nothing like it in my life. And I had my feet up in the Foloway check because I'm going, man, what the hell is going on? And my eyes is burning because I can't blink because I can't take my eyes off them mice my eyes. But if I ever needed vizine, I needed. I was mortified. Man, damn mice was running across that float, climbing up on this couch over there on that boy's shoulder. Then then me and I just see him brush something that ain't no flat brushing like them. Is mosquito? Or wake your ass uping help me through this. So I wanted to wake him up, man, because I needed some help to understand this. I'm telling you, man, I've never seen that many mice in my white and I mean they just running back and forth all on over the furniture, cross the TV. So about two thirty five in the morning, about three, I've been up the whole time. I ain't slept with when I'm scared to take my foot off the chair. Yeah. Yeah, the keys sticking the dough. It's my boy. He coming back in. He put the key in the door and turned the lock. He opened the door. Hey, man, what's happening? What a mouse? No, damn, you can't explain it. Don't even I'm looking at him, man, he say, he say, he's a love. What's happening, man, I Saian, you know what the hell happened? He said, what's wrong? I said, Man, your seat hate a mouse? I smell you're looking over what I said, They all up on the curtain curtains. Ain't man, they've been running up on the andin't a mouse, No damn for like a dream, brother, sleep like Ain't nothing wrong about three thirty three, three o'clock in the morning. He came and he said, yeah, bro, I'm Hugger's here. You want somebody eat mony? Hell no, not at this album. I said, I tell you what I'm gonna do. Man, I'm gonna get in my car. I got to take off. Man, I got a head in the breast. Oh man, I thought you're gonna leave little bit late. Don't worry about that. I'm gonna sleep in my damn car. And I need to get my car to the driveway because they probably climbed up that right while Steve, all right, well, listen coming up next, church complaints. It is Monday, Reverend Motown Deacon Death jam in the building. Right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. It's Monday, and you know what goes down on Monday. It's time for Reverend Motown and Deacon Death jam with church complaints. Yeah, oh three two one by count that we are here. You know, I decided and I would be more professional now and do a be counted in like they do Steve on the TV show. You know they count here me in. Yeah, they count time me into. I've seen them. So I decided that I'm gonna get counted in now. Yeah, I need somebody to count me in too. No, you are I bring you in see right now, and I do this here that that that's your you did. We're not gonna do a count that. Then I come in another account. I was gonna count master. No, then you ain't got to do that because that ain't see that. That ain't gonna come across. Good. Okay, ten for six five fold three two one mm. We are here for church complaint. That's right, that's right. Let us begin with this nonsense. Deacon death jail. All right, past it, let's get started here. I the prison ministry. Casino night went bad this past Saturday. Two people got shanked and now all people with their arms broke all. Oh, some play money pass that was down in the basement. You're gonna have to talk to the prison minister. They seem to get out of hand when they're throwing something. See what y'all feelings realizes you you can't have these former inmates that's just getting out in charging them because they're bringing their mentality over here with him. Now, then they're playing cards for conversation. All that this ain't played money to them, all right, then they're shanking people in all this here, we're even fit to put over it. We're gonna stop the prison minister. When you get out of playing, don't don't come to this church. Well, I'm not gonna be the one tell the prison ministry that they are canceling. Now, I'm not gonna tell them. Well, I'm just telling right now, how are we gonna do it? We're just gonna cut the prison ministry out. But you're gonna have to tell him that, And you're gonna have to tell him that because they're gonna all end up going back any huh. Let him go to church in prison, Say what coming out here shanking people who wants to get stabbed? Well? Hello, and you gonna tell him, deacon, because you started this minute. Now I didn't. I didn't start. Yes, she did. You came down with your nephew telling out he needed salvation, and you started the ministry. Now you're gonna have to be the one bring it off. When I'm gonna call him. I'm not gonna next. I'm not gonna I can't tell this today's face like that. You tell it to that as if you want to get it back. I'm not getting shanked for this, I tell Pastor next, Deacon, you better move along. All right here we got Pastor. We have an issue. Brother Finley, brother Claren's Finny has not been the church pastor in three weeks. Now. Here's the deal. He is locked inside his house. Apparently he is three months behind, and the landlord has bolted and locked him in the house and he can't get out, so and the landlord is not gonna let him out until somebody come out in pay. He's been calling trying to get us. He's three months behind. Well, I don't see what the problem is. I consider you know, see right there, Deacon, just go right along with your prison ministry. Ain't just similar to hustle rich uh h. He's ain't come out three months behind here and they watching TV, eating, drinking. He's out of food. I didn't take something around. Now we make some plates out the service and take a couple of places round there with him. Fall Pastor, the man that's three months behind. If we happ him with his rent, then he will be able to come out the house and come on back there. You said he was hungry. Yeah, so we paying rent, ain't he's still gonna be hungry. Yeah. I fixed the problem that you could fix the Now we could fix the hunger. We ain't got no three months back when not at dis church all right passed, we all might to have back on the mortgage on the hill building exactly now out here's a new situation. I want you to bear with me, Pastor we Um. We have three members that have been arguing and fighting over who was gonna lead the caroling uh for you know, Christmas time, because they go around doing the caroling as. I'm gonna have to let you decide on this because it's pretty rough on me. Here could you. I'm gonna let you figure out who you want. Now. First we have brother Donnie Dixon. Please take a listen to Brother Donnie Dixon. Pass me not old gentle, say save you here my boy, cry, cry wow ohnothers down or called Colleen, thank you, thank you. I don't why is here to run it? That ain't even criminal? So here is sister Reba Riba jarge bath please take a listening. No whipon for here's me? No no, no sheill prosper no no he walking around whim what hed what you will stand your side? He weep? Come, thank you, thank you's been not leave past fantasier style as sister, No no, no, for no reason? Right go ahead, sister Laura bills may R sweet the sound say come, thank you, thank you too much, too much, slavery, thank you to what is we saying like the hounds is coming? All right? We gotta go sorry? I like that. Secondly, alright, alright, more of this crazy ignorant show. Steve Harvey Morning Show right after this, you're listening to Steven Show. Steve, what's something you feel like you constantly, constantly have to explain to people you want? You want, yes, we want you to lie. A thing that I'm trying to get past is my lifestyle to explaining explaining that I can't tell you how many times? Why y'all do that? You know you could have gayed this to this. It's people over here that ain't got nothing, and y'all spending this money on that. I spend a lot of time dealing with that. But you give. Yeah, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. You can't give enough to people, That's true. You can give until you ain't got no more, and then they just move on to another lass. But I get yeah, I get tired of explaining myself. I'm through. I'm through doing that. I'm through doing it. And you give to us. Ye, very generous, You're very generous. Yes, and thank you. But like Bishop Alma told me, for those who love you, no explanation necessary. For those who hate you, no explanation acceptable. And when we ask you, Steve, I mean we ask you a lot of stuff too. I mean, but we work together and we just want to know exposures everything you know, absolutely the blessings. Come down, man, let's slow down. Come on, Carl, Like you got a question, I do? I do? Okay, So listen to this seat. You wake up and you see you have texts from multiple family member text messages from multiple family and friends. Now, half of the messages say go outside. The other half of the messages say stay inside. What do you do? Half of the messages say stay inside and the other half say go outside. From family, stay inside? Yeah, and then from family and friends. You got a whole bunch of text messages. I'm gonna stay inside. I control most of what's happening in mind, go outside, opening up yourself towards here. Ain't nobody in here. You can't get in here. I got alarms, I got secured. I'm gonna stay in here, all right. I hain't to go out nowhere. That's that's a good one. Like, yeah, we're playing as Steve. Come on, junior, all right, uncle? What is the dumbest and I mean the dumbest rule you had it? Tune again? Yeah you did, mister change of attitude? What killed? What's the dumbest rule you had in school? This the one elementary Two people can't slide down the slide board and say, who are you trying to? We can't go for thirty minutes, you see that, trying to get any If you let two three of us slide at one time, we can probably get a couple of slides in right as one person at a time and they get to the bottom and clear the air. What bro, bro, you're gonna clear the area when you get the bottom of these shoes on the back of your head. That was the dumbest, damn one. We didn't have a one sliding board. Here's one. What are you slowly starting to realize? What else are you slowly starting to realize as you become older and older? Man, I think it has more to do with sex. Okay, well think we're all ears. We hadn't hit. Yeah, it ain't as critical as it used to be. Like if I come in and it's late, now I'm sleepy, I see you the more I'm trying. But when you were younger, when I was younger in the car on the way, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, see, I've learned to be a lot more patience with it. Okay, of late, that's ain't that. Just slow down, dog, it's gonna happen. We gotta go to miss Anne Steve Let's ladies and gentleman miss Anne Tripp very much, everybody, and this is a trip with the news. Unfortunately, the news doesn't come by slow. Residents of the island nation of Sri Lanka, for instance, have been traumatized in the wake of the Eastern Day bond blasts that ripped through luxury hotels, churches, multi Catholic churches, killing two hundred and ninety people and injuring about five hundred others. Local law enforcements say that the blasts of Peter have been coordinated suicide attacks. The victims include Sri Lankan police as well as tourists, including three Americans. No reason for the explosions has been given yet. Nobody took responsibility, but police suspect the locally grown Muslim terrorist group that apparently did threaten to take some action. The chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, Congressman Gerald Nadler, says that while Democrats are not pursuing the impeachment of President Trump, that the issue is not entirely off the table. Nader tells NBC's Meet the Press that Democrats want to see the whole MULA report and allow the evidence to lead them. We have to hear from bar We have to hear from Mueller, We have to hear from other people like Don McGann. We have to get the entire report, including the redacted materials, so we can evaluate it. And naller as the evidence of the obstruction of justice by President Trump is impeachable if it has proven. The FBI says, as arrested the leader of an armed group of Americans who have been stopping and arresting migrants from Central American countries from illegally crossing the nation's southern border. They're just taken upon themselves. The suspect is identified as a guy named Larry Hopkins. He's a convicted felon, and he was taken into custody in New Mexico. He's doing federal court later on this morning. Looks like Trayvon Martin's murderer gets no love from Tinder. George Zimmerman, the ex neighborhood watch volunteer who called police about the innocent black teenager for no reason, attacked him after being told by authorities not to interfere, and who shot and killed him after losing the fight that he himself started. Zimmon was acquitted. However, Tinders cited a user's a safety from moving his profile, and the Tampa, Florida newspaper says a Zimma is using a fake name on Tinder anyway. Former Vice Press and Joe Biden expected to officially join the crowded list of twenty twenty Democratic presidential hopeful sometime this week, they say, maybe by Wednesday. Sad news, film director John Singleton has reportedly suffered a stroke. According to his family. The fifty one year old writer and director of the groundbreaking film Boys in the Hood, suffered a stroke while in the hospital last Wednesday. You know where and why he was in there anyway, but anyway, he remains in intensive care. This week, John Singleton became the first black filmmaker to receive an OSCAR nomination four Boys in the Hood, Tom said the weekend box office. The new horror film Lalona. Your children are safe now, but they will come for them La Jordonia Latona made twenty six million bucks. Now back to the Steve Harvey Morning Show. You're listening to show, all right, Steve, here we are. J is here to murder another hit, ladies and gentlemen, the hit murderer himself, Jake Anthony Brown. All right, check it out. Man boodh to man boot one squeet man booth ah to man boot one squeet man boot. And I'm talking about these man boots and boo man bo man. I've got these man boot see them best when my shoes is tight. That was a nigga secret needs imp cup. That's the man boo size eatingly. Don't exercise in your big assake down. You know them well what they are good as everybody else you t t needs a wrong. Yeah yeah, Man to you manboo Ah White squeet man, booh to you booh white sweet man boo. I'm talking about these man who mano mano Man, I've got these man man booh to you man Booe. It really is. I love it. You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, Joy Anthony Brown is here with comedy Roulette. What you got? It is so simple, it's very simple. We have to explain. I know Steve gets upset, but we have new listeners by the hour, by the hour Championship we actually yeah, it's championship Team's championship team. So it's comedy roulette. Here's how we do. We take five subjects, put them on a wheel. Fund the wheel. Look at me, Sherley when I said, Bunton fund the wheel, funding around and around where it stops. We do the damn thing. All right, here we go. Number one, so you're telling me you don't know how you got naked pictures on your phone. No, we're not having that discussion. Number two, the car always comes back on e Yeah, all right. Number three, what part of you on punishment? Do you not understand. Four. I see that tooth messing. You see that toothisting? How can you walt get it there? Number five? Nobody buys a bus pass just to be buying a bus. Okay, bunn it, finn it cats, let's do let's do that phone, many, let's do that phone. Oh what you don't like this one? Number one landed on number one? How are you telling me? You don't know how you got naked pictures in your I have no idea how those pictures got you know what? This ain't my damn phone? Look at that? Look at ain't my phone? Master fact, I don't know how do you feel? What? She really was? Sure he was the results of her mamocane got to see that? Why I get to say that she looked that night? You pushing it? Listen, listen, listen. Let me just tell you, baby, these are the girls that are auditioning for the Vagina monolog That's all. Listen, baby, don't be like that man. But she got ready. Yeah, she's not naked. What you looking at? She looking soon as you're showing she's not naked. Not only is she not naked, she was showing me pictures of her bathroom She just happened to be nick when she took the pictures. That's all that is. She needs some work in the bathroom. Happen to me forever, nice capet exactly. I'm not. I don't know how to. She sent the picture to me because she wants me to show you, ask you what you take she told me to do. I'm just doing what she told me. She said, show it to you and see what you think. Now what you think? Baby, baby, baby? This is this is listen, all these pictures. Was going into this new thing and I'm opening up online called booty book, Facebook book. That's what you can do. You can't do the book without the booty baby. You're gonna ask me about the nigger picture in this phone. She sent them to me so I could give him the lee handed for his God. I'm trying to help. I'm shot help somebody. He sent me the neck picture. She said she got a rash on her back. Did I want to see it? I said, yeah, that's how I got that name. A doctor. My name Ki. Okay. She was trying to tell to somebody name Ki. Stand your stand. I don't know. I told her I thought I had the meason. She said you really look like that was not like that. Thanks guys for this week's version of comedy Roulette. Every Tommy has a prank phone called coming up right after this you're listening to show coming up at the top of the hour, right about four minutes after. It's my strawberry letter for today. Hang onto your seats for this one. Subject my girlfriend's husband's baby. Yeah yeah, yeah, but right now it is time for the prank phone call which you've gotten call. Yes, this goes out to all the chill leadle mammas bottom bottom bottom of Hello, Hello, Hello, hello, Yeah, can you hear me? I'm trying to reach Sorry second, let me count it down. Okay, Hi, who are you trying to reach? I'm trying to means Angela. This is Angela. Oh yeah, this see Hi angel This is Chip Chip. I'm the new camp director for the cheerleading camp for the summer. Oh hi, Chimp, what can I do for you? I just wanted to give you a courtesy call your daughter. You've got her signed up for four weeks with the camp, right yeah, but Joe, Yeah, this is your guys third year being a part of the camp. Yep, and she's really excited. She loved coming to the camp, and we think it's a great thing for how to be involved in what's up. Okay, you guys just finished the whole cheerleading season two, am I right? The competition season? Yes, that's coming off of that, right, right, Okay, Well, we're getting ready for the summer and everybody's excited about coming out and being a part of what's going on. So here's what I wanted to give you a little bit. Like I said, I'm the new camp director. I was just starting at this job. I got a few notes that that we're giving to me about about, so I wanted to give you a call and see if I could talk to you about it. A few notes giving to you about Yeah, just a couple of notes. I don't think it's anything that we can make sure it's okay. What kind of note. Well, it's been brought to my attention that some of the parents whose daughters are out there as well, there's gonna be there this summer a little concerned about her being on top of the pyramid, that she's uh is getting a little heavy, should she uh wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait ho ho ho you calling me about some some other parents and said about how big my child is or how much my child ways. What I wanted to let you know was we're gonna put as a base or oh no, you ain't gonna put no base. I don't already take my money. And what you say your name is Chip? And um, how long have you been the director? Because I was just up there two weeks ago and they told me that she was gonna be the same position that she was last year, because that is what worked, That's the formation that worked. So I don't even know what the world Supposedly that some of the girls are complaining that she's too heavy to hold up. So that's what seems to be the problem in there. They're not getting a strong enough pier men. And I'm now, wait a minute, wait a wait a minute. I know, well she ain't the biggest one. I felt, have you been myself? My child is not the biggest child. I fell when it because I would tell you I've not seen these chileyers and if some baby smost I felt, Okay, hang on, Angela, I want you to calm down a bit. Now. Anybody's gonna calm down, because I would not already paid my money, and this is that I'll be talking about what parents? What Harrison said? Something? Is it? Uh? Is it? Carrie Man? I'm not. I'm not gonna state who it is, but let's just tell you it was several o these territs has got something to say about my child and her position on the chileaning squad. Because if you ain't gonna fuck up no names, then I'm gonna listen what you're calling me about. I'll tell you one thing. When she get out fell I didn't pay my money, she better not be on no base. She better be in the hour. I guarantee you that. Right. Nah, i'd have been hanging with these I ain't. Nobody said nothing to me about and her weight and all this. Okay, Angela, can you hear me? I just wanted you to hear me. Clearly, I haven't seen these young ladies yet. Once I see them, I will critique what I think. You don't even need to be calling me because you ain't even seen nothing. So you calling me with him? He says, she's from some other parents that's been skinny and grinned in my face, and they now wanted you and nothing to me. They have't been in my house. We didn't have parties, always have the competition every week nd every other day, and they couldn't say nothing to me about my baby. I tell you what, why don't you call your girls on the three way? Mister Chip? If you can't call him on the three then I got them, No must I call him on the three way? Differ? Okay, Okay, Look, mans, all I wanted to do is make you aware of the possibility that she may be a black Thank you you have made me aware. And I guarantee you that if I bring my big yellow up and come to the practice, I guarantee you she won't be in a face. How much you want to bet on that, mister Chip. Look, you're gonna quit holler at me. And I told you I would try to take a look at these girls. But I tell you what your thought is gonna be a face or she's gonna be a back support, whichever I decide. She's started to do. Who enough? Do you think you're honing that, mister Chill. No, that's not how it's gonna go down. As a matter of fact. As a matter of fact, mister Chill, are you at the registration table to day I'm here now while people are registering your sorry, let me turning around. I'll tell you what. I'm on my way up there. Why don't you and the parents that's been complaining, Why don't all y'all come to the table and we're gonna have come to Jesus meeting about whether it's gonna be. But it's coming up season because I'm not going to tolerate this. I've been told you, I haven't paid my money and this high is going down? Game? Wait, what what is it think? Your weather? Game? Way or night? What do they have to do with her chip meeting? Doude? You agree that probably bigger than most of the girls on the Team's not bitter than most of the girls on the team. Uh mony daughter's visited and she wasn't no base. Last ship they hiked up up some you gonna get up to We all just gonna be big, implumped up in the air. I didn't turned the round and I'm here to tell you the traction table, so you just be with it. Be d before you here, there's something else I need to tell you. You ain't gonna tell me a thing. All you gotta do is have you and the pairs around that table when I get there, because I'm on my way up there right now, then y'all can say all y'all gotta say in my face, well, I want to get before you get it. I just want to let you know, man, what this is nephew timing from the seams on this phone? What did you just say? This is a nephew timing from the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Be god, Oh lord, Rochelle, there's another pair named Rochelle. She told me, y'all look good friends out there. Oh she got Oh so she want to break out? Huh. All right, we're gonna see the season start. I'm start of uniform. She'll be able to perform a fact we looking for hers. How about I want to break out? Me? Oh? Man, hey, let me ask baby, what is the baddest and I mean the baddest radio show in the land on out of the Money? Got to be downhy my baby, Yeah it happens, Jason. My baby's the backspot? Why my baby? Ye all you Chierlea. The mama's out there. That's in Sauceberry, Maryland. I feel like you want to get out a little bit this Friday and get your laugh on the nephew is coming to town? What chemical? It's the what chemical? I hope I'm saying that. I swell. I don't know if I'm saying comic comical. I think I'm saying right. But the nephew is there, and chill, the daddy is till you want them to cheer dads, their job is to clap and write the check. Yes, we do write the check. Tommy is a cheer and what is the cheer mom's job to be at all the competition, to make ass and to cheer them on. We got to be right. Let me tell you something. When they say cheering, when when my when my wife's telling me, listen, she cheers. And three twelve, you can't slide in the three thirty you you're gonna miss the whole that because there's three minutes. There's three minutes long. My little girl said, yeah, are their parents who take it too far? Why? I don't know many parents that do that. Because Shirley said, I'm taking it too far and I don't agree. You know, I love she's taken in too far. She does go a little overboard. You've seen the movie Callers one and the stands screaming, let me tell you how you let tell you how? You know, let me tell you how. I don't know. Caller gonna lead Hill Friday. You're gonna go to a chill competition. Listen to caller's voice a much. Listen who every kid should have a mom like that? Yeah, yeah, dedication, They shouldn't. My mama wasn't like that. And now turn out. All right? Coming up next, it is today's Strawberry Letters. Subject my girlfriend's husband's baby. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, it's time now, guys, for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need advice on relationship, huh's fronted? Oh wait, oh don we haven't even gotten to it yet. If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, Yeah, it's a tough one. Submit your Strawberry letter to Steve Harvey FM and click submit Strawberry Letter. I believe we are ready. We could be reading your letter live on the air, just like this one. Now. I bet yours don't be just like Oh, I bet you not buggle up, hold on tight here it is a Strawberry letter. Oh yeah, we probably guys need to do a disclaimer on this letter. So if your parents with your children in the car, you don't want them to hear this. Okay, yea, I put the keys out right, man, stay in the car. You don't want to miss it. There. Yeah, had to put him in there. Yeah that, Oh, there's that all right? Here we go. Subject my girlfriend's husband's baby. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am a thirty one year old female and I've been dating a thirty six year old married woman for two years. Recently, she and her husband were having serious financial problems, so I offered to move in with them and help out with the mortgage and the bills. Yeah. Yeah. We told her husband that I was just a co worker that needed a place to live temporarily, and he bought it. So I moved in. When the husband was at work or hanging out on the weekend, me and my girlfriend would be getting it on in their bedroom. After a while, the husband figured out what was going on. One day when he and I were home alone, he confronted me and told me that he knew about me and his wife. He said he was attracted to me too, that's why he agreed to let me move in. So that day, we ended up making sweet love in their bedroom. Now yeah, yeah, yeah, I told us, now what you think? Now, whenever my girlfriend is out, I hook up with her husband. I love my girlfriend, but there is nothing like being with a man that puts it down the way he does. Now I see why she doesn't want to leave this man. So here's my problem. I just found out that I am pregnant by my girlfriend's husband. My girlfriend would freak out if she found out I was having sex with a man. Her husband is secretly excited about the baby, and he thinks we can all live as one big, happy family. But but, but that sounds crazy to me. Should I move out and be honest with my girlfriend? Or should I give my baby a good home life with a daddy and a second mom? Please advise? What? Or should I give my baby a good home life with a daddy and a second mom? Yeah? Yeah, so she would just stay there with them, have the baby be right there with the daddy, and you know his wife would be her second, the baby's second mom. Why oh, why just didn't you use protection? I mean, we gotta start right there. I mean, were you trying to get pregnant here? I mean because what did you think was gonna happen when you're having sex with your girlfriend's husband. What do you think is gonna happen if if you're doing it unprotected? First? Yes, yeah, I'm sure you've heard this before. Though, once you start with the lie, then you have to tell another lie, than another lie, than another lie, and now you have an innocent baby on your hands. This is so irresponsible, this is so trifling. All of you are foul for your roles in this mess, but I blame you the most, letter writer, because you were in this just to get what you could get out of it. I don't care if you did say you moved in to help them out with the bills or whatever. You just want to sex. I mean, that's it. You want to sex with the wifeie. You want to sex with the husband who puts it down. And you see now why she won't leave this man. This is a mess, and I say you need to leave their home. You have made a mess of everything. You need to fix it. The baby deserves the best life you can give her, you and the father can give her. And yes, someone is going to get hurt, most likely the wife. The wife is going to have to find out. I'm sorry because her husband is the father. You need to woman up and you gotta tell her. You have to tell her because an innocent baby is at stake here and you don't want anything to happen to this baby. You want this baby to have the best life, like I said, that the baby can possibly have, and because of your mistakes, you know it may not. It may not because of that. Steve Well, this letter from the very first line. I'm a thirty one year old female. I'm dating a thirty six year old married female woman for two years. He had a husband having some financial troubles, so you decided to move in with him and help out with the mortgage and the bills. You and Hug got together and told the husband that it was your co worker and needed a place to stay temporarily. He bought it. You moved in when the husband at work, hanging out on weekend, me and Hug in the bad room. We're getting it on. Then after a while the husband figured out what's going on. He come back home. He'd been playing golf. He come back home. He'd been down there with the boys on the basketball weekend. He come back on the trip. Ain't nobody else. Shit. He walked into door. Hey, I'm here, m Hey, what so you say? After while he figured it. Now he ain't just figured when you moved in. His boys asked him, damn, dog, you got you got, you got? You got two women living in your house. She a friend, she hun co worker. What y'all got going on? If you think his friends ain't asked him none of these questions, That's why he didn't figure that out, because we helped him. That's what friends are. Fall One day he and I was home alone. He confronted me and he told me he knew about me and a wife. He said he's attracted me too, and that's why he agreed to let me move in. So that day we ended up making sweet love in their bad room. Damn now, when my ever my girl that's out of hook up with her husband. So you just don't lead a house you just that's funny. Just waiting to see who's gonna be loved, that's funny. Man, to hear what y'all going out of here together? That is funny. Go and live your best life. Go. Do you get yourself some me time? So I can get me some we time. Oh my god, that's funny. Now I hook up with a husband. I love my girlfriend, but there's nothing like being with a man that puts it down where you do. I've always said that. Now I see why she don't want to lead. This man. Hear my problem, and we're gonna go to break. I just found out that I'll preg you with my girlfriend's husband. Is anybody surprised? All right? Look, hang on, I'm not. Yeah. We'll have part two of your response coming up at twenty three after the hour, subject to my girlfriend's husband's baby. We'll be back right after this. Wow, you're listening, all right, Steve, Come on, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject my girlfriend's husband's baby quickly. Let me just get it to you. These two women, as co workers, just been lovers on their job. One of the chicks is married, the other girl is not. Or the married chick and her husband fall on hard times. She offered to move in with him to help out with the bills and everything. They both went to the husband told that he failed for it. She moved in. He thinking they just co workers till he went out here ran this situation down to his boys. Now every time he leave the house hearing the girl in their bedroom getting it on. Now, she said her husband finally figured it out one day and confronted her and said he was attracted to her too, that's the only reason he let him moved in. So he ended up in bed room making sweet love. Now, whenever my girlfriend is out of hook up with her husband, so she hook up with the hood husband when the girlfriend out, and who go with the girlfriend when the husband out? Her ass don't leave the house. They didn't working out with her where she the only one got a key, so she got stalled. That's hilarious. Everybody thinking this coube and she she just over there just wearing her ass out. She ain't doing that but going to work and having said going to work and having seen she's your damn tired of her job. She is considering quick That ain't in the letter, but her asses wore out. Now I see why she don't want to leave this man. So here my problem. I just found out I'm pregnant by my girlfriend's husband. My girlfriend would freak out if she found out if I was having sex with a man with a man. You think that's the prod that's going through that you having sex with other man. Her man is but the girl. Her husband is secretly excited about the baby. This damn food. He just set up here and landed in this heavenly situation, so he thinks, And so he's secretly excited about the baby. Is he out of his damn mind? See this thing got so good to him. He think he didn't he didn't hit the jackpott, And he thinks we can all live as one big, happy family. Bring it in. Can't explain this down at the church or nothing church. But that sounds crazy to me. That sound crazy to you? Moving in didn't sound crazy? Should I move out and beat her and be honest with my girlfrid? Quit saying girlfrid because y'all ain't that no more? I can tell you that right now. Or should I give my baby a good home and a life with a daddy In the second month, He didn't convince you that she gonna go for this, Sherley pointed out who she thought was wrong. Let me tell you who I think is wrong. See, when you invite sin in, remember sin is all in. It. Don't do boundaries, it, don't do electrical don't do raizor wild good sin get in all that. So once you invite seeing in what you want to go wrong. I think the wife is wrong because y'all so called fake. The husband in the beginning told him, y'all was just co working. You've been down the screw around on your husband. What difference doing make is with a woman? If you ain't supposed to sleep outside your manna, you ain't supposed to sleep outside your mann Now you're down here with this other woman outside for two years on your husband. Then you bring that same mess outside your house in your house. Now all is fitting getting messy? All y'all wrong. You're sleeping with somebody under your husband's nose in his own bad. She wrong for bringing her funking behind over there. Then west yourself in. Now he wrong and she wrong for sitting up looking at each other one day. Then they started screw it. Now they don't win in there and had a baby. Now now you want to be worried about who feelings hurt? Now this is all wrong. He think we could be one happy family. This damn food no good in hair. Well, this ain't gonna work. Sitting up in here with your wife and you pregnant. Then then pregnated her girlfriend who posted to be a co worker who I'm pretty sure they ain't gonna ever let out the day kicking it, na, So you just fitting to be the dog that slept with the other lady. They ain't gonna put their business out there, but this hell for sleeping with you. That's front and center because your wife can't get a pig this show. Damn baby, y'all ain't being center in there aging that ain't my baby? Well? Who baby is there? Hey? Dog dog show? Damn baby. Now, everybody in this letter get just what they got coming. And whatever happened to the three of them all to just happened? Ain't no favorites in this letter. How you gonna pick your favorite food? What that sounds like that? How you gonna pick your favorite foods? Yeah, we got full fools running. Which one of these fools? You? We did that with the presidency? How did that work out for you? That's what happened when you pick a food. All three of y'all that picked each other. He picked her, she picked him, she picked you, You picked her, then he picked you, and then you picked him. Y'all just in there just picking off each other. Now, ain't none of y'all got what y'all thought y'all head, ain't none of y'all got what you thought you had. So now guess what you're gonna have to deal with what you got once you make the bed you got to lay in him. The only person I feel sorry for this whole story is this child, the baby to be raggedy runch behind. Sitting up in here and sitting in what you let me ask you this here? What y'all gonna name the baby us? You know how you name the baby after everybody? However, who you gonna name the baby us? That's funny sitting up in here, man, Just damn foolish, damn people in there, all of them screwing each other. Don't nobody no, but just wow? I mean, who I wanted to reenact me from you? And Jay ain't gonna lie sitting up in here on what the hell I'm post to say? All right, guys, we gotta get out of here. You can email introduced nobody in that damn my husband. This is my wife in law. Oh, this is I'm the biggest granddaddy and his Steve Harvey FM and his uncle. This is his niece. Cousin, mother and aunt. All right, more of this crazy ignorant show. Steve Harvey Morning Show right after this you're listening show. All right, Steve, you promised that you had a surprise for us for the Strubberry letter. I really don't surprise, but I really want to focus on one person in this letter in particular, okay, and that is the woman who was sleeping with the married woman for two years who ended up moving into the house and and the husband didn't know that they had relationships. So every time the husband would go out, she being in the bed making sweet love to the woman. Then one day the man say he figured out what they was doing, but he attracted her too, So when the woman left the house, she was in there making sweet love to the husband. Yeah. Now what didn't happened is she didn't wind up getting pregnant, and she don't know how to tell it to her girlfrid, who is the wife of the husband. And the Hubbard is supposed to be secretly happy because he having a baby. He think they fit to be all one big happy family. That was the letter. But my focus in this letter is the woman that moved in with the married people's girlfriend. With the falseness that they was just friends. Hearing the girl, but they've been in there just lighting the room up. Then come to find out, he found out. And so now when she gone him and her back there doing it, and when he gone her and her back there, do it? High tide? Is she if she ain't exhausted? She did, she didn't been off motor she could chew because they keep leaving. Now she just sitting on the porch in a rocking chair. You're leaving now, yep, I'm gonna run over here in holiday my board. But wink wink when I get back though, Oh, well, guess how going in here and see what she wants? You know what I want? What you've been doing? Baby? Nothing? Men? Me and Carl was in him. You know what time it is? Tuesday? No, that's how they Tuesdays and Friday. Yeah, I just want you come on in here. Well I would, but I'm tired now you're at that time, don't care come on back here. So now he the wife tied. But the one that's really tired is who that helf out on the porch, just watching who coming and who's going, letting her know what show she got to put on because the two different shows, ain't it. Yeah, it's two different shows. Yeah, it's when she and there with the Man, that's one show. Yeah, she and there with the woman, that's another show. Never getting there with that too much show. That show that's like a movie that's too long. You've been the four hour movie. Yes, we disc gonna in. Man. I don't know, man, what y'all think, fellas, give me some some things that the girl, the Tide girl gonna be saying. I ain't tell you what she said. What she said? She said when both of y'all gonna go someplace that I need a break, actually walk around the house and Sunday morning, you know, families to go to church. You know, Applebee's got that new coupon. I cut y'all one out. What y'all gonna see y'all grandparents or some drive somewhere. Get out of the house. He hasn't got that two for twenty because I'm tired and I'm getting confused on what I'm supposed to be doing, not confused or who I'm supposed to what y'all in here doing it? Here? And here? I don't know what girl, what did you talking about? Why did you invite me over? With all this at y'all sounded like you get out there when I started but listening, girl, I'm gonna go down. Girl, I'm going down. Unemployment tomorrow has just gone and knit it. I can't do this hire, that's too much. Do y'all ever sleep together? Question? She asked him, y'all ever the husband and wife? I need a break. I need a break. I ain't. I can't be that good. They all want me. They all wanted all of this, all of it, they want all of it. She had worked sleep, Yeah, she sleep all of her dancing every day. I have to get a day off her head and flip back so hard in that chair with you. It didn't flip top through her ass out of her cubicle. She ain't getting no work done. Oh man. And she walking past her girlfriend word blowing since I didn't winking. She ain't handling that good? No more? Stop winking out. Yeah, gonna see you at the house. I think I'm gonna get late. Yeah. Then all of a sudden say, I'm not gonna let you go. Hello, Oh so you an't here working late tonight? H I swing through and keep you comforted, you know, I know she had the house about sleep. You know what I'm saying is one time he's really tack. Don't feel sorry for her. I don't feel sorry for the husband, and I do not feel sorry for the wife. All of them filers, they want to be there, and then all of them want to get treated right. All I've been in there doing each other wrong. Now they want somebody to treat them right. Man, get out of here. And they got a baby? All right? Well, coming out more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show right after this. You're listening to show. All right, guys, listen. It is no secret that singles aren't always totally honest with the people they're dating. But some lives are small and some go much deeper and much darker. And even if you don't bend the truth much to get someone interested, chances are it has happened to you when you were single. Okay, so what is your date lying to you about? According to a new survey of more than thirteen hundred singles, we know the top things people lie about on the date people lie about on the d Okay, all right, So so for men, here we go number eight. They lie about their weight. Yes, absolutely, yes, oh, sure, you're talking to the ready to love. Oh they're ready to love. How it's better known as the doctor, Come on, love doctor. They lie about their education level. Yeah. They lie about their relationship status. I know that should have been number one, right, there's a little lane going on, Yeah, a lot of lines. Number five. They lie about what they do for living their profession. I don't know why you do that, but okay. They lie about hobbies, things they're interested in. They lie about that, okay, Yeah, like you like to fish. But you might say you called a shark or so you read, yeah, shark, but I'm just saying it goes deeper and darker. Yeah, exactly. Yeah I called a white type. Right, Oh yeah, exactly. Okay did you say a well? Uh? You also lie about your living situation, you know, like you know some people do with them exactly. Oh here's a good one. You lie about how much money you may income doing it, right, man, that's not number one, though, this is number one. How many sexual partners you've had? Oh yeah, or your sexual prowess. That's what I thought it would be. You know how good you are. I've only had two? Only two? Stop stop your lying, junior. What you only have two two women? Is it two partners in the last month? What's your talking about? All right, this is what women lie about. This will be interesting. This is what women lie about in this order. Uh. They lie about their profession, what they do for a living. Really the same thing. Almost. They lie about their related relationship status. Oh I get married. Where you get that from? Let me tell this what change you? I'm married in California. You're at the wedding. That wasn't me. He married? He married, I'm not married. Okay. They lie about hobbies, okay. They lie about their income. Women, I ever heard their weight though we're only at number four. Okay. Women lie about their living situation. Okay, don't they it roommates their parents, a man, the man. Yeah, when they got a man, he just rooms. Okay. They also here's number two wait or as you would say, wait, okay, yeah, that's a big one. Number one. They women lie about their number of sexual partners. Of course I thought that would be age or something. Yeah, you can see that man, look your daddy, your eyes tell you I'll list man. Yeah, because I pay for it and I have receipt. That's right. So I want to find out what you guys lie about, probably all of the aboves. Just how many partners? Can I ask, y'all? Yeah, go ahead, when you were single? Huh? How many partners? Oh? I was a version to moto and two for me on her husband? Yeah? Quest right? Yeah, So come on, guys, what what else have you got? I know you guys have told some big old Yeah. I do some lies, and I don't have to hold on tip to date, Like what you sure you want to talk about? Nor I read which we talked about sports or something you thought about it? Yeah, this ain't really that you got? Junior single, he can do it. Come on, Junior. I don't lie about everything, from having a car to not have car. I lied about all that I have got caught and told me to laugh. I lied, said I had a car, but she saw me walking to the bus. I didn't lae, I ain't got caught and she rolled up on you while I looked there waiting on the three seventy eight. Oh hell yeah, which one you want? I was homeless. I lived in the car, told a girl I had a company CEO I had I had a company, Yeah, and I was just down south looking for new forms of energy saving so I could take back to my company in northern Ohio. No, she was cute, she was way out of my league. She said, you want to meet for dinner? I met her in them all. I said, yeah, you know what I mean. And I said, what are you want to meet? She named the restaurant. I never heard that. She gave the direction. I got to this restaurant there, Vallet. Now keep in mind, everything I own is in my car. Right. So when I got to Vallet and I saw the sign that said valet five dollars, Yeah, you went around back. I pulled up. That dude grabbed my doorhood do dope, I said, excuse me, he said, with a valet, don't do that. Wearing self park at he said, right straight ahead to the left. I parked over that man. I walked back to that restaurant. They opened the door a matre DK he said, right this way, sir. He walked me over to this fine chicks yell on a black dress, have a little shirt tucked in, skin it in shirt tucked in tight had one of them? Are merry go round hands on fleets in two waists, tied that belt down in a knot with a loop y'all had one of them Western shirts on Double Breasted Company. Yeahall fly, sit down on that. Man opened up that menu and damn Neil couldn't breathe forgotten me. I had forty dollars. I couldn't find nothing on. Thats what you see? All right? More of this crazy ignorant show. Steve Harvey Morning Show. Right after this, you're listening to Steven Show. So Steve, this lady sent a letter from Steve Harvey FM dot com uh stating, Stephen Shirley, my friend said the breakup sex was better than any of the regular sex they had during their relationship. So here's the question. Is breakup sex better than any other type of breakup sex? Is hey, let's do this one last time? Yeah? Yeah, before you go? Yes, something to remember them by? The hy So is that the best kind or is it the first time? The new partner sex? All of it is good? First? Or is it um or is it new position or experimental sex? Is that the best kind of sex? Oh? No, you can't really do no new positions. They're gonna wanted to wait, know where you got that from. I'm trying that. I'm gonna do that. Bones just fly see why a baby close? Do you need some locks on your close from all right, Steve, here's one for you. Since you can't wait for this. How about vacation sex. That's really good. The kids are going, I tell you so interesting. Some of the best sex is vacation sex. After winning money in Vega six, that's not on there. No, I haven't mentioned we won. We won? Oh you the man? You you the man, You're the man. Put that on the list. Like, uh, what about I told a girl one time when I was young that I wasn't gonna make it. You got the arm dancing be our last time about dancing? Maybe just a help you stay low? Then I'm sixty one, that nineteen what you were young and virile and healthy, and it really she took it the wrong way. What about just playing old at home sex? Yeah, it's all right, you know when when everybody gone right but I tell you what, but but they hate no kids in the house sex? That right there? Boy, My mama got him. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something to write about me. Yo, yo, y'all you go to work, boy, girl girl to let the performance begin? Lap lap standing? Oh all right? How about costume? Or roll places. That ain't. I got messed up in one of them. What stuff get in the way, Yeah, that ain't. I had a Superman build on. I couldn't get it all. That ain't. I don't like that. I'm not ever doing that again. I'm tug and that thin got locked up on me and never could get them tights off or nothing. I didn't like that. It took a long time they had. That's that's like like got no bottom on the right crotchless. But I'll tell you what though. That one little string that be over there, that's that's an irritating little something over there. Costumes are y'all, y yeah, yeah, can you say raw? Okay, I'm moving on. Okay, we have to go a leaf in my mouth, make it look like I come through something that's kind of like a costume. But anyway, we gotta go more of this foolishness right up to this where your rifle. Oh daddy, you're listening, show all right, Steve, Here we are. Jay is here to murder another hit, Ladies and gentlemen, the hit murderer himself, Jay Anthony Brown. All right, check it up, man boodh too, man boot one squeet man booth ah to man boots are one squeet man booth and I'm talking about these man boots and boo man boo man, I've got these man boom see them best when my shirt is tight. That was Nigga Secret Needs and m coup that's a man boo size eating ly don't excile and your big as lay down. You know them well what they are? Soon does everybody? Hell you TD needs a ron Yeah yeah, man boh to you mano h White squeet, Man booh to you man boo h White squeet Man boo boo. I'm talking about these man bhoo mano mano mano, I've got these mano manoh to you man booh white squeet. I love it. You're listening to Dave Harpy Morning Show. All right, Steve, here we are last break of the day. It's been a good day, Yeah, yes it has. And now it's your turn, Steve to leave us with some closing remarks. Enlighten us please. I was talking to somebody today at my house. I had a meeting and as usual, I was just vamping with this guy and we were just sitting there going over so many things. He's a younger guy. He's really really smart guy, man, really really smart man, younger to me. He's in his thirties, so, you know, and we're sitting there, we were at my house. We were talking and he said, mister Harvey, what do you think stops most possibilities? And that was an interesting way to do it, you know, instead of him saying to me, what stops most people's dreams or aspirations? He posed it that way, and so it CAUs me to think when he said what stops most people's possibilities, he caused me to think of it another way. And my response to him was kind of different. I said, most people get stopped from their possibilities by focusing too much on the probabilities. And he said, wow, what you mean by that? And I had to catch myself because I was just, you know, just doing me and it just like like a light bulb. You know, when you talk about the probabilities, you always talk about, you know, what can happen in the event of you know, well, if you do this, you know there's a possible the probability you started talking about what can probably happen. You know, you could probably go broke. You know, you could probably get turned down, you could probably end up with out anything. You could probably fall flat, you could probably fail well. If you keep going through the probabilities of something, you'll never get started with the possibilities of something. So what I'm saying to you in these clothes and remarks today is if I were you, because this is what I did and I'm not. You know what's crazy about me, man, is I'm I'm usually not the smartest guy in the room. I've gotten myself around people who are better than me in several areas. You know, on this radio show, I have people who are better than me in areas. Shirley has a better voice than I do. Carla has more radio knowledge than I do. Monica Bonds is more technical with bookings and with products and placement and all of this stuff that goes with ads. There are people around me that's better than me. Tommy does pranks better than me. Tommy is a better actor than me. So I'm usually admittedly, and I tell people this and they think I'm kidding. I'm usually not the smartest person in most of the rooms I've gotten in because I've learned to surround myself with people who are better than me in a lot of areas. That way, I don't have to worry about the probabilities. I keep my focus on the possibilities. You got to look at the possibilities in life, because let me tell you something. If I looked at the probabilities, I wouldn't be sitting here today. I'm from Welch, West Virginia, a coal mine in town. I grew up in a holla. The probability is that I ain't supposed to be here. The possibility is that I am. I grew up in the hood on one hundred and twelfth in Superior. The probability is that I'm not supposed to be here. The possibility is that I am. I had a severe stuttering problem as a child. The probability of me being here is not good. The possibility is here, I am. The probability of a person being homeless and living in a car, the probability ain't that good. The possibility is here I am. I am saying to you that whatever situation you are in today, stop looking at the probability. Though this will probably happen if you do that, that will probably happen. If you do this, This will probably happen if you do that. Damn that? What about the possibility? If you focus on the possibility, it changes your landscape. The view is different from possibilities. It's very different from the view of the probability. The probability causes you to look at the what ifs. The probability causes you to look at the potential failure. The probability causes you to look at the problems. The possibility let you look at the what could be, the what's possible? The why not me? The man, why don't I try? That's the possibility. Man, It's so much better than the probability. So quit getting hung up on the probabilities. This probably won't work. They probably won't pick me. I probably fail. I probably won't get it right. This probably caused me to lose my job. I probably had to quit that to try to do that. I don't think I can quit that. To do that, you're tripping on the probabilities, and you're losing focus of the possibilities and the possibility of these. It is where God is. God is in the possibility, because all things are possible through him. All things are possible with God in your life, all things is possible. With prayer, all things is possible. That's what I learned today. Those are my clothing focusing on the possibility. Yeah, you don't never a stop damn room. Y'all. Have a great weekend for all. Steve Every contests no purchase necessary, void where prohibited. Participants must be legal US residents at least eighteen years old, unless otherwise stated. For complete contest rules, visit Steve Harvey f dot com. You're listening to the Stay Harvey Morning Show.