Special Friends, Girl Talk, Black Card, Angry Self and more.

Published Sep 6, 2021, 10:00 AM

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

Today's show is pre recorded. Y'all know what y'all don't know. Y'all giving them like them things and it's not good. Steve Joy, you gotta turn very you gotta turn to turn them out. Got to turn them out, to turn turn the water the water. Come come on your bad Uh huh, I sure will. I come on and everybody you are listening to the voice, come on dig me now, one and only Steve Harvey got a radio show. Well, okay, here we go. You know what's important, What's what can be a huge part of your success is if you if you find a balance, if you find a balance in your life. That's that's been very important for me. And I've really never phrased it this way until now, but I was kind of thinking about it after my wife and I mean we set up one night recently. Man. You know, I often come on here and this is kind of an inspirational moment of the show, and I try to remind people about that most important relationship between you and God. And that's that's the apex of it. That's that's the that's the top of the crown. You gotta form the relationship with God. If you don't everything else struggles. It's hard to be a good husband without God. It's hard to be a good family man without God. It's hard to be successful without God. Man, it's hard to be hard to get through this thing called life without God. So that's clear. But at the same time, you can't talk about God. Twenty four seven. You got to go to work. Come on, man, let's just be real. I ain't I ain't your past, and I ain't at your church. But let's just be real about it. You know, if people tell you got to keep your mind stayed on Him and all like that, that's that's a true statement. Gotta keep your mind stayed in that area. I don't not here to tell you how to live, but you got to keep your mind stayed in that area of God, of doing the right thing, caring about people. That's what I took it as. Now I could be wrong. I apologize if I'm not saying that the way you've been taught. I can only do me now. But after that, you got to go to work. You gotta have some fun, You gotta take care of your business, and that's the balance you have to find. So it once you focus on shooing up your relationship with God, you got you gotta balance this now. Now, you got to allocate some time I don't care who you are, for your family. If you're gonna have a family, you got to allocate some time for them. See, we can't just marry these women or make these kids and then neglect them and fellas, especially if I'm talking to me about him, Ladies, you can listen to. But listen. If you find yourself struggling in your life, man, and you can't seem to get it together, Let's just go over a couple of things. The first two things, if you find yourself struggling, you can't seem to pull it together and reach your goals and get to where you want to go. Let's just do a check how is your relationship with God? And then next how much time are you taking to allocate for your family? Now, your family don't always live in your house, but if you made them, they yours and the responsibility to them is never lessing because you don't stay that no more. Because you and the girl broke up, You and the woman don't speak a man that don't ever release you from the obligation. Feel me when I'm telling you this now, because I'm not telling you something I'm wondering about. I've had to live through them years. So two things you can start looking at. If you're not where you want to be, and you ain't, you ain't really solid. You can't figure out why you keep spending your wills. Have you just done a random inventory? Man? Have you just checked on your relationship with God? Have you checked on the time you spending dedicated towards your family, your children that you've created? If them two things is out of saint man, that I can tell you right now, you can go on and get to explain in yourself away just like that, a man, how come you ain't where you want to be? I'm couz man, I really ain't. But if you really ain't, then you really ain't. The third thing is you got to allocate the necessary time for your business. You got to handle your business. All of this, man, is the way it works, and the order, the order is God first, family second. Then you got to handle all your business. But as men, and this is what we do. If I don't handle my business, I can't take care of my family, true statement. But if your business is in front of your family, you out of order Nah, that's all we're talking about, now, ain't it. See That's that's all we really saying here now, fellas you know, you know, I mean, I mean, come on, man, you know, let's let's have a real conversation about being better. You know, if you have created these children, you got to handle your business. You may not like the girl no more. You and the woman might have broken up, y'all might go your own way, But what that got to do with the child though, Man, you got to handle your business. They got to know who daddy is. That's your obligation, man, And God ain't letting you off the hook for that. Try go ahead and try it, and thank you. Gonna get off the hook with that because you're not man, You just not. I'm sorry, man, dog Steve, Why are you coming like that? Because I did it like that. I did it, man. I was over here trying to reshape my life, getting myself up on my feet when I was a homeless man and trying to come back. Man, I thought I had to take care of me first and then so I can neglect it care about them kids. Man, That ain't high work. Man, God kelp us knee on my neck for a long time for that one right there, until I finally learned the lesson hold up man, put these phone calls in, Go spend some time, do something, And then it started turning around for me. You know, I can't beat there all the time because I am out here on the ground in the hustle. But at the same time, man, some more phone calls, some more letters, somemohaha, he he's something, Then take care of your business man. You got to work hard to be successful. You know. Sometimes I don't put that in there. I just live in and I expect my sons to emulate that. But I gotta talk to him all the time. How hard you got to work to be something. It's all out of salt on it. Man. If you gotta target in mind, you gotta go. You gotta wake up every day trying to get there, and you can't get tired of it because it's it's it never ends. You're gonna always be this way. That's how life is designed and set up. You got to be a hard worker. Man. If you're always looking for some time to chill and man, I wanta go do what I want to do, you ain't gonna make it in order to be successful, you have to do a series of things that you're uncomfortable doing, and work is the thing that most of us are uncomfortable doing. It's so much easier to chill, man. I wish I could kick back with a cigar man all the time, but I can't, Man, I can't because I got to work. Then the last piece of the balance, balance piece is you gotta take some time out to enjoy yourself. But if you ain't where you want to be, you ain't got a lot of time to enjoy yourself. Quit thinking, man, that this balance is even. It's a whole lot of God, a whole lot of family, a whole lot of business, and a little bit of chilling. The chilling can't be equal to the family, the business, or your God. If the chilling is equal to any of them, you ain't gonna make it. Quit chilling, man, and go to work like a man. Do what you post to do. Work on your family, work on your relationship, work on your God, work on your business. And then when you chill, you might not chill is long, but your show gonna chill bigger. You're gonna ball bigger babies. You're listening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is not quiet stool. This is Steve Harder deserving his voice because it's leaving him and overworked and have decided that I've got to slow it down. So, ladies and gentlemen, this show will be ran today by two foods. And I want to apologize for anything happening. And Shirley and uh Carla, I want to say good luck to both of you because you are going to have a tough time controlling two foods normally being you know, just ignorant. I am here to provide some type of stability, but I won't be able to to my boys quad. Really don't don't, don't, don't, don't backtalk me, and now she won't these knuckles on your lips. So ladies and gentlemen, Shirley Strawberry, good morning, Hey, No, you ain't got to get him in stony see good morning, good morning, good morning, Yeah, good morning. You didn't tell me junior morning, I ain't jan Yeah, you can't Jake what your dinner? Eve? Wow, that's the after birthday voice. Birthday still how you know? Birthday? Happy belated birthday again forty two years old. Stop that last I'm going with um, I'm going with eighty three eighty three. And see when you tell people you eighty three, they go, no, you look so good. Well, y'all go ahead and take it over. You gotta help you what yeah yeah yeah, but see still, you know everybody go down sometimes it's all right. I gotta put check my boys and got shows to do today, tomorrow, all this weekend. I don't get another off day for a minute. So I'm waiting on an assistant who posted Ben Hills of damn throat coat. But his ass saint here? Well, you know what, I ain't gonna be saying his ass ain't here. Too many motens. Did you speak to the nephew, because one time it's gonna be his ass ain't here. No moment you didn't speak to the nephew. I really didn't think it was. This morning. I got you. I got your over worked. Well, let's be real about it. You're not underpaid. We gotta you're not underpaid. Represent We got you today. Let your throat down anymore, set your throat right over there. Want to take you want to take it out bag right here? We got you said that years ago. We were on the radio just in La and Steve fell out. You had to take your throat out and look at this. Remember that day? Wow? Okay, well, how was your birthday? Oh? It was great. I'm still celebrating. Still celebrating, man, I'm not supposed to have a whole lot of cake. We had a little celebration at the comedy club, the Jay Spot. It was one hundred and eighteen comedians came. Wow, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no, about three hundred and forty. Oh well that's there. Must have been at another club. Talk more about Jay's birthday when we come back on something funny. Had a date last night. Yeah, you're listening, all right, Steve. You are the resident relationship expert on the show, no question. Uh. And you know there are some folks involved in a friends with benefits situation. You know a lot of people you know in those kind of relations and ships. But there are boundaries, of course, as in any relationship, you should still be honest and not take the situation for granted, though a few mishaps could land you back in the friendship zone with a quickness, of course, and even if the arrangement is super casual, then Tommy becomes the expert. You know, yeah, yeah, keep it. So here we go. All right. So if someone is lying or not being honest about their intentions, well you know it's bad news for you because you know, look, eventually all everything comes to lights. You might as well if you're just gonna be friends or benefits just being honest. Okay, money, here's the money. Let me hit this. Look yet, I don't love you. Oh my gosh, I'm just being real about what we're doing and what we're doing. We vocal with it. I'm honest, my intentious. We gonna do this till we don't want to do this no more. This ain't aboudy no love. Matter of fact, we're doing it from We can't even make eye content because this ain't love at all. Don't don't gaze at me, but you look at me, you look at me, or you look back at me. Don't look back at me when we're in the moment, look faward, don't look back. Don't look back. That's that's in the moment. You in love, don't do that. That's just that's brutally acting jealous, not allowed good. Uh. You know it's a little tough man when you having arrangement and you know it's just friends for benefits because the other person could have somebody, and so being jealous it is just you puppost to being able to play a little bit better. It ain't your turn that part. When I show up with my wife? What is your live far? That is wrong with you today? Today? What is wrong with you? And why is you texting me? You'll see him over here, talk about this. If you walk past me and my wife one more, Dan, you're gonna get your lip back here. You're repaid for when did you got your boy here? Who? Okay, here's another one. Guys, assuming yes is forever instead of yes for now? Play your position well, you know, if if you've agreed to be with somebody more period of time and you know that's all it is, that's all it is. You really can't expect nor more than that. Nobody always catch feelings up? Oh my, you know goodness down, didn't this for six months? You know that, you know we're not gonna last no longer. Ain't no sense and you won the Christmas gonna go with you. You ain't been to getting out of that Christmas now now but October we're gonna fade up out of here. Oh man, I don't be looking about to break red hair ticket down. I've been doing that. Christmas is December twenty six, and to deal with it, deal with it, don't okay? Okay? Moving on? Uh No, dissing aloud, disappearing acts without explaining what's happening, okay, can't do it? Well? You know, um it's kind of touchy because you know, at the end of the day, you know, if you say you're gonna be here, no, you should be here. It's an agreement and thement that we have true. Yeah, because if I don't know where you at, you might be outside my damn house and that could get Uglily on vacation with my damn What is you? What? What? What? And no, you don't get a vacation. I can't go nowhere with you. Yes, those are pictures we took, so I don't want to hear about the disappear Why did I leave while you was in the shower because she was calling me. I have to go the sitting and wait on you to get out. We still with what we was doing. This when is helping somebody? It's all about helping. Man, were here to help. Why I can't get a vacation if she get one. I got facebooks somewhere as we fiss the girl. And why do I have to keep having the same damn conversation. You're gonna miss rownd beout disagreement. That's what being wet disagree. Okay, when we when we said, you know we're friends would benefit you knew I had kids, and you said you know you would sometimes take them out occasionally. You know you would be nice to my children. You know your friends would benefits and you did say you just gonna take kids out. They kids, You don't have things in the forward too. You gotta ade of your obligation at least get them to the park. Huh hear me, damn kid, you see my profile on face man with kids, your kids an damn kids see you also where the kids need to match up up? And your kids been not speak to me when they see me out damn it running up on me before. Why are they running over here to go the lagment? Right here? Mister, you're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. It's trying to run that frank back trumper casket, tromper cass. You look around the room when he said comation, Well, I need confirmation for somebody to trumple cast run that cat idiot triple cast Jenkin's mortuary. This is calforna man. Help you how you calping? How you doing? My name is Brandon Man or Brandon Giles. Uh okay, I'm calling. We've got somebody that has passed actually three people we passed away. Well, I thank you for that, man. It was kind of expected, so you know, it wasn't something that caught us off guard. But you know, but all in all, you know, we're still grieving about losing our loved ones. But but I wanted to give you all a call. We're trying to um pick a particular funeral home on who we want to um take care of. Yes, yes sir, yes sir, okay, we can definitely help you with that. And uh, once again, I just want to to you know, just let you know that we can pretty much do the whole game, that we can make sure that your need to take them from you know, from from now on, UM, we're here for you showing to get that out. What is your mean need? Uh? You said three people? Sir? Yes, yes, yes, I wanted to bring attention to you. Do you guys customize caskets. Yes, we do goal plating, uh, engraving. We even have a new thing where we can put the picture of the personality outside, like a semigloss coating a couple of hours. Yeah, I don't. I don't need that all. No goal or nothing like that. Listen, listen. What I want to do. Is it any way that you could maybe uh customize a casket that can accommodate three people? Um uh? Yes, like we we can. We can customize each individual casket for each individual. No, no, no, no, Calvin, I didn't want to ask. What I'm saying is if I want to like like I like I said, d my could they was all close? You know, I don't have a problem with all three of them being in the same casket. I get you. Um uh you know, to my I, as far as I've been in this business, I've never uh. I'm not really sure we can actually do that. I mean, I mean, I mean, what's the problem if we can get them all in there? And well, sir, I mean I think that's a I don't even think if for one, it's legal in this state or any state, three people in one casket? Um, and ethics wise, I uh that's not really something that how can I say that? We actually? You know, but if you customizing a casket, Calvin, then you ought to be able to put as many people in there if you make it deep enough and wide enough to get three people in there. Right. Well, the customization is is the outer side of the casket. And maybe you know some people, uh even put TV screens on the inside or some of their their their loved ones, memorable mementos. We customize it for that, you know, color wise. So what about when when is a person real big uh you know, a heaven said person, you know, you gotta have a casket that can accommodate them, right, yes? But okay, so so you ought to be to put you ought to be able to put three people in one casket if they can fit, if you put two one way in one the other other way, then you ought to be able to have all three of them in there at one time. Um, is there anybody else around you and your family that can help talk with me about this? I'm talking right now. I'm trying to get I'm trying to accommodate my cousins and get them straight. And I'm asking you can we get them in a casket. That one casket that can accommodate three people. If you put two pillars on money in one pillars, that's not something we're really that ain't just used to doing, Calvin. But I'm calling you telling you that's the way I want this customize. Man. All right, brother, look brother, brother, just just chill out with customs, all right. So we're trying to get three people. Yeah, I have a standard plan. It'll be a low end standard plan for three individual caskets that we ain't gotta. We all have enough money for three individual caskets. I keep telling you that we got room for one casket. We we just need to big enough, man, so you could get everybody in. Then close the dope. I'm not gonna I'm not. I don't want to go back and forth with you, sir. I know this is a time. Then go. You ain't gotta go back and forth with me. Building to our knees. I can bear my family. It's I don't really know what to tell you, sir, but I'm just really trying to help. I'm trying. Won't you tell me you're gonna get three people in the casket looking good? We cannot do that. You houling that man. So I'm the one going through bereathing. I understand that. But you are, you're you're you use the foul language. It. We can't do it, brother, you hear me. No, no, no, hold on my cousin. Them said they wanted to be U. No, sir, no we can okay. Look, look, hey, man, y'all gonna bury these three people and you're gonna put all three of them in the same damn casking man two two on one, one on one end and one on the other. One. Man, sir, if you're drinking, just ain't nobody let me tell you something. Man, Let me say this to you. Your name Calvin, right, yes, yes, it is okay, so Calvin, Calvin, let me say this to you. Either y'all gonna bury my cousin is the way I want it, or Calvin, you're gonna get your who you're talking to. That's what's going now, now, no, now, that's it, right there, sir. I've been trying to be as professional as I can. This whole conversation. It's as crazy as it is. But now it ain't nothing crazy about No, no, no no, no, no, I told you I want you to Bury, my cousin, come on down here. I got some place to put your body and your cousin's body. How about that? Huh? Yeah? Because you know you don't You don't sound too damn confident. You don't sound too confident, Calvin, I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm gonna tell you right now, this ain't the place and I'm not the one you will be in the ground messing with us better fact, if you come here, I'm gonna you up. How about that? Okay, Calvin, Okay, Calvin, let me tell you something, Calvin, me and Tommy gonna be down there to day. Then I'm bringing Tommy with me. Who it's Tommy? Huh? This is nephew Timmy from the Steve Harvey Martin Show. Baby, you just got prank, Calvin, Yo, y'all have me ready to whip somebody? Tell y'all, I just want to know who put you up to this, Reginald that works. Yes, I'm gonna I'm gonna Reggie you bet watch with you drink you bet watch with your team. I'm on your to revenge. Man. Hey, Calvin, give me this. Man, what's the baddest and I mean the baddest radio show in the land. Man. You know, it's nothing but the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Y'all. Y'all got me, got me, got me feeling me? Anybody feeling you know I am anybody feeling I'm not feeling, trust me. It's some people. Right now we're staking okay each other. I like that too. Tommy hid hidden shelter all the way up. Thank you. Coming up more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show right after this. You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, Steve, Jay and Junior are here with some pointers for people. Okay, So no matter what you're into, whether it's drinking alcohol or smoking legally, now, this is how you know when you've had enough and it's time to what put and put it down down? Yeah, it's time to put it down. Okay. When you got your light on your phone, your light is on your phone and you're looking for your phone, it's time to put it down. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's absolutely truth. It's in your hand. Junior got one, Yeah, and all mine is real. I don't care if he is listening to this morning, but this is what he gonna stop. Uh look him. Uh if you if you stayed drinking old Eat. But every time here police siring you grabbed me. Put the old eat down. You don't need to drink this. No, I'm tired to tear my clothes police, but I'm not going to sit here with dudes with Rusk Jake he know who he is. No, put it down. Okay, all right, it's three o'clock in the morning. You're throwing out of trinking to make Thanksgiving donner and it ain't even Thanksgiving. It's time to put it down time. It's just Tuesday. Yeah, it's just too he he got another. If you say, what huh in the conversations modified tack what, it's time to put it down? H Yeah, you're right, huh what what? What? Huh? I got one? Here we go. If you like what you're smoking on both ends, it down light on both ends. Yeah, you got one off. Okay, Hey, lets tell you something. If I come over your house and I walked up stairs and you playing PlayStation and you got the headphones on, dog, whatever you is you're doing, it's time to put that down. You down. You talking to her head says, put a place control in your hands. You smoke? You know what this happened with a friend of mine. If you drive it, yeah, and we have said it this light and it didn't change greens three times. Yeah we still yeah. But staring at the witch, you get time for you put it down. It's time time for it down. But you you decide to make a cake and you waiting for the cake to be done. You got all the ingredients in the pan, but what you did was you stuck it in the dishwasher and you waiting. Yeah, put it down, put it down. You don't need Yeah, I got if you don't got hungry and you don't decided you want some pinto be and you soaking them and you just get them spoon and sit down and started down. You got to quit smoke. You got it. Let me tell you something. Don't tell you something right now. If you come out the bathroom and your bam towel don't make it to the other side. You come out, told hey, somebody called me, Hey man, it's time to put it down. Y'all. Saw me gonna need to be that damp. We can't see this all right, You get the work. You get the work. You have to go to the restroom and you find out you got on three pair underwear. It's time there. I don't know, but you got prepared for home. But you told somebody if you live in Chicago and it's one below zero, that's cold, yes, and you standing outside with the cigarette smokers and all it is smoking a cigarette, but you're smoking your own. You're doing weed instead of a cigarette. You got to quit. I'll tell you. I'll tell you what if every time I'm sitting alone with you and you say you hear that, Hey, hey, I can't watch the game, figure out what the hell yours? You get hungry? You you say you're hungry, and you come back at the kitchen and you eat macaroni straight out the box, straight out right box. Right. It goes with those pencil beans from earlier. If you didn't pop some popcorn in the MiCT way, yeah, open it up hot, ain't all the pop corn? Yeah? And you're now trying to down them colonels. That's what I'm on, pop seeds. You're just over there dealing with it too much. Yea, that's way too much. Okay, I'm taated right now, dated right now, I'm sinking uncaus he keeps doing this. But I'm telling this gotta put this down. If I come over there and I see in the front yard and you and your pit bull the same weight, both y'all won twenty five, you gotta put this down. You and your dog ain't scaring nobody cut at the hard poses out, nobody's shaking your dog leading you. All right, more of this crazy ignorant show. Steve Harvey Morning Show. Right after this, you're listening to show, all right, Steven's that time again. Please introduce your good good friend Jay Anthony Brown. Let's look into his mind, Ladies and gentlemen, the dark, demented and troubled man, a bitter, broken up, love starved man. Here we go. There's a new game out. I don't even know the name of it, but it has to do with being black or went in the black card? Have you heard about this, Shirley, get your black cards in anyway. I have some questions that will let you know if you should receive black card. We got points that goes with here we go. First question, have you ever eaten rice or baby rice and sugar butter and Rice? Give yourself five points? Yeah? Have you ever played the game That's My Car? Have you ever played a game that's my car and you didn't have a car. Give yourself three points, yes, or if you got your get yourself call points. Is there anyone white that you'd like to have sex with? Take away two points? Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on, let me take my two points away. Here we go, all right. Have you ever fixed have you ever fixed anything with a knife, fork, or a spoon? Give yourself six points? Put that down there? Oh, I'm back up, back up, all right, all right, here we go. Have you ever put something in front of the oven to dry? Four points? Give yourself four points for that? Have you ever wash your face with a dish cloth? Give yourself two points for that one? Right there? All right, I got that. Sorry, all the bath tiles was really dished out, but go ahead. Yeah, you're right. Have you ever made fun of somebody shouting in church? Give yourself three points? Okay, went to church for that? Oh, not for the words. My comedy career started as a ten year old. Action. Have have you ever had a sandwich inside the wrapper that it came in? Have you ever had that? Meaning? Have you ever made a sandwich with just the end pieces of bread? Give yourself four points? That's okay. Last question, last question. Have you ever eaten a piece of candy that an old person pulled out of there bra and you eat it anywhere? If you have not done anything. I was younger and didn't know where, but I didn't do that. I didn't know I got another one Jay sandwich that only contained condiments. All right, all right, all right, we'll be back with more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Thirty four minutes after reading you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, guys, it is time Steve for comedy roulette. You're ready. Jay explained it again. Let me break this down. We have new listeners who don't have any idea of what we're doing comedy that very simple. Give us five subjects five anything you want? Put them on a wheel. Yeah, spun the wheel. We stop. Spun Spun it around as in to be spun around as a spin. That's totally different. Red. Spun it around. Stop. We'll do the damn thing. Here we go, all right. Number one things you say to yourself when you're mad at someone. Number two you know it's time to go to the store. When dot dot dot Number three stuff you don't like to watch, but you watch it anyway to keep them happy. You know we all know about that home or him whatever. Number four. Number four, you know she's not coming back when okay, number five, people who never chip in come home. Let's go cat, let's spin whoa it came on? Number one. Things you say to yourself when you're mad at someone. Say to you yourself when you're mad at someone. I canna. Here's some things you say to yourself when you're mad at somebody. I'm gonna let it go this time, but the next damn time. Oh, it's gonna be hell up, hell, it's gonna be hell. Just when I always say to myself when I'm mad at other people, I'm trying not to go jail. I'm doing my best. Say I'm calling my best right now. I'm trying not to go to jail. You're really mad? No, no, you're mad, court dates everything you come, my nephew. You know what, you know what, it's all right. Drink that water that I put up in, that drink that drink that all right thing should say to yourself when you're mad at someone. Steve, go ahead on, you better go ahead on. Now this is black. That's all it is. Go ahead. Then you say to yourself when you're mad at somebody, Lord, please work with me, Jesus, please please, Father, father, take me down so I don't kill us. That's why I always say that I'm always mad somebody. It's just something you said before to somebody. That's why your ass broke. Now that hurt, Jun, that hurts, But you say it to yourself, you know that's that's that's why I got another woman. That's right here. I ain't got code you say to yourself with your stupid sound, just like Oh I heard you say that. It was too like you. Oh my god, I'm talking. My mom was talking to me than you say to people when you mad at him and die. It's gonna get up out of hill about Facebook? All right? You take us home? No, no, no, what I got you. Let's tell this says a lot of my family. I'm calling crime stopping. They ain't gonna get a tip today. You will? Yeah, so glad that ain't my beast? Oh why never? You tell me? As a prank phone call coming up right after this, you're listening to show coming up at the top of the hour, right about four minutes after it's my strawberry letter for today's subject. He wants to skip the best part. He wants to skip the best part. But right now, nephew in the building with today's prank phone call what you got now? Oh? You know surely there's a lot of people with different occupations. Yeah, this one right here is the blind Baba. The blind bab let him cutch. You come on, hell, yeah, I'm trying to reach up that run the buck. Yeah you now you run the barber shop down there, aren't you? Okay? Now, I'm trying to see if if y'all got any uh boot round us down there where I can come in there and cut them high. I've been cutting how a long time. I want to see if y'all got some room down there. They tell me you might, you might have had something come available. I got two boots open right now, you need a boot. Yeah, I'm trying to get in there and get the cutting. Now. You now how much you charge for bootfronts on a weekly basis two hundred dollars a week, two hundred dollars eight hundred dollars a month. That they're good because your two hundred. Now, when can I get down there so you can meet me? You know when we can show me round the shop so I can know what I'm open from eight to seven. That's that's two to two saddest, all right, because I want to see if I can maybe meet you there so I can get down there. And you're feeling my way around? Well, come on, then, what I want to ask you? Do you mind doing for me? Do you think you could possibly put up some ramps where you got steps at and uh and your phone? Could you take your mind if you take the phone and put it in brail for me? Oh wait, wait, wait, man, what the hell I need to put my taking ramp side and putting phones in and brill for what was going on with you? Well, I'm blind. You know I'm not gonna let that stop. Men, you know I'm still gonna Oh no, no, no, no, hell no, man, you wait minute, you what? I'm blind? But see, but I've been cutting my hair for over ten years, and folks say my hair could always look good. So I just figuring I'm gonna start cutting half not oh well, yeah, what you might cut a hand and it might be some good that you do, but just ain't cutting nor had in my shop not being glad that yeah, ain't that my shot? Man? No what ain't got no problem with that, but but you you just can't do it now, well wait wait nothing to see this is what they call it scrimination. You can't do that. You can't scriminated from people you're calling. They got some type of handicap blowns to him. You listen, hold let me. Can't you something man? I'm not trying to be trying to put you out of being a dog doing what you need to do. But you just can't do that, my shot. Man. I can't be calling discrimination, scrimination, scrimination or what not not not shot. You just can't do it, baby, listen not I know how to cut her. I know how to give folks aligning and stuff like now. I ain't trying to use no razor or nothing like that. But I don't know, man, come home, dude, listen. Can't you find something else to get into beside trying to cut out? Well, this is what I liked though, This is what I feel like. This my calling. You just can't do it in my shot. I'm sorry, I know because to see now that's what I don't I don't care to hear something like this here. Now I've been I got the qualify ocasions and I'm able to do it, and I want to be able to come down now. And I told you when I heard what I tell you, I said I wanted to feel my way around. Didn't I say that I don't need to feel your way down. I need you to be able to see what you're doing. I mean, I don't care about you be ain't able to cut no out being blind. You got to be able to see to do that. This could probably do to do wonders for your shot. People to come from miles around to see somebody like myself cutting that kind of shot. Did you hear what I said? I heard what you said when I don't want you to do it make me mad about this? Now you're gonna get mad about something a bit blown to me. I'm offering and you can't read it. That you're blind, doctor, I can't help you when you run. Main't go on with that. Now listen, I'm gonna tell you this here, and I'm gonna tell it to you strength. I'm coming down now to that barbershop. I'm gonna feel it boots out and I'm gonna start cutting now. One thing I don't want to do and have to get into no tussle with you. Now, I don't want that. It was about getting no trusting with me because you bring your up in my shot that much, you're gonna cut it and he's gonna be some plunge you move around him. But I'm coming down there and I'm coming down that is evening. Now. One thing you know where you gonna keeping with my shot. You're gonna you're gonna get you what my blind man and what you're gonna do, you ain't gonna see it coming either. You hit mena bring you as long as I got the money to pay my bool rental, you gonna give a damn. I don't want your money. You're blind, ain't cut no man shot. You understand what I say to you. I'm understanding what you're saying. And if I got to call the law about you being discriminal law, you can call anybody you want to call. That's money. You're not gonna do that. You understand what I'm telling you. Now, you bring you now the time I couldn't hand money, you won't. I'll be waiting on you. I'm I'm coming down that this evening and I'm coming and I'm coming to up y'all because you got the nerve. The discriminal ain't gives me. I don't know. I got my coming the first Who game you? Mom? No, you're nothing doing hot fish. You see they give me, They give me this number and say you is the one that do the hiring round the barber shop. You don't call my personal number. You called my shopper. Who call you money? No, what difference do that make if I'm some man looking for a job. See, you don't call my personal phone. You're gonna watch your tone with me. What you're gonna do? I ain't gonna watch them. Don't you bring in my shop? I tell you one thing you're gonna watch. You gonna watch me get on your just eve? Why are you gonna get on? You can't save me? And I'm gonna hang up on you. I got one more thing I need to say to you than This is nephew timing from the Steve Harving Morning Show. You just got pranked by you, Oh cousin, Hey, mister, I got to ask you, man, what is the baddest I'm talking about the baddest radio show in the land, The Steve Harvard Moaning Show. Nothing wrong with a blind man trying to cut him hair. You know what I'm saying, Just let him feel his way around your head. It ain't nothing wrong with it. You play to mine. That man had a job calling man want to man want to work, You want to work and own his own and you know, do his own. You know, let that man had it wrong with a blind man first drink bald you had a head full of hair. All right, nephew, thank you so much. Coming up next Strawberry Letters. Subject he wants to skip the best part. We'll get into it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and listen. If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read this one right here today. All right, buck it up and hold on tight. We gotta fight you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. Subject he wants to skip the best part. Here's Stephen Shirley. I am a seventy year old woman with raging hormones like a thirty year old. I love making love to a man that knows what he is doing between the sheets. I met this man about a year ago from an online dating site. After five months of talking on the phone, we decided to get together. Now. I've always thought of love making as an art, and if you're not an artist, I am not looking for a painter. I know my performance is very artistic, or so I have been told. I like variety, nothing too kinky, but the little variety. I told my boyfriend that he will get quality if he gives quality. I am big on getting things started in the right way and not just jumping right to it. My boyfriend started out doing the pregame show, but now he wants to get to the main attraction right away. His stamina is wonderful, so there are no complaints there. I constantly wear sexy lingerie and he compliments me on it, but he doesn't take time to enjoy the presentation and unwrap the package. He is a good man, very loving and giving, and he is even talking about marriage. I would love to marry him, but I need to know that he is willing to romanticize me and keep it passionate and not just do a wham bam, thank you man type of deal. Stephen Shirley, how can I get him to take his time and not just jump in. Well, I'm gonna say this. I do like the fact that even at seventy years old, you're still being a boss in the bedroom. Okay, you say you have hormones of a thirty year old. I like that. I like that you know what you want and all of that. I think the problem with you two is you're You're not on the same page, You're on different pages. Any smart man knows that women love the build up. We love the romance of it all. We love the pregame show as you call it. All of that for play is essential for women. We get that part, yes we do. But every single time, though, every single time, you gotta have a big pregame show and all of that. No, ma'am, just real life just doesn't work like that. I'm sorry, And this is real life. It is not a game as you call it. Yeah, you know, some people just want to get to the main attraction. They really do. Uh. Sorry to disappoint you, man, but that is how it goes in life. When we get packages I mean think about it. You know, when we do get gifts and packages, sometimes think about Christmas. Sometimes you unwrapid you know, fold up the wrapping paper and fold the bow nice and neatly. And then sometimes you're so excited you just tear into the package. You just what the paper off, you know, you just snatch the ball off. You do that. I mean, that's real life. Huh, this woman is seventy Steve with the hormones of a thirty year old. Well, I don't know, Okay, anyway, we just tear open the packages, we do, all right, So I have to say this to you. You gotta go with the flow. Okay, you gotta go with the flow. It should not be the same every single time. It just shouldn't. You gotta go with the mood of things. Life is unpredictable at times, and so it sets in the bedroom and all that. So m you gotta you know, be a little flexible here and think about that situation. Sometimes you rip it off, sometimes you go slow. All right, That's just how it is, Steve. Then, know the letter is not about big well, you know you was in here talking about getting stuff ripped off. Let's go over this letter a package. We got a seventy We got a seventy year old woman that's living with the raging hormones of a thirty year old. Now, let's just stop right here for a second. That's scary, dog on it. That's scary. And if you ask me, you're a little late fall this year. You should have had the raging hormones over thirty year old when your ass was thirty. You're seventy. Now you're seventy. Now I appreciate it because I'm playing it on being, you know, around at seventy. But I don't want to be like I was at thirty. For the purpose of this letter, okay, the ladies says, I love making love to a man that knows what he's doing between the sheets. Well, hell, he's seventy. Out of hell, he don't know what he's doing. If you ain't experienced by seventy in the bedroom, you what what what was you doing? You've had seventy years to get it right. If you ain't doing it right right now, I'm sorry, Pardner. You can push your chips up to the wind. Now. She said, I met this man by the year ago on the online dating sight and after five months of talking on the phone, we decided to get together. She says, Now, I thought of love making as an art, and if you're not an artist, I'm not looking for a painter. Now, let's analyze that line from this seventy year old I'm I thought of love making as art, and if you're not an artist, I'm not looking for a paint. Ain't that you? I love that line? Ain't that you? I like that a lot too? That's real? What the hell du that mean? That cute dass line. That's the way to write a letter. But what the hell we're talking about love? Manybody tell me no damn brushings and paint you send me. We're talking about old paint anyway. I'm a big fan of getting things started the right way and not just jumping right into it. My boyfriend started out doing the pregame show, but now he wants to get to the main attraction right away. Well we come back. Come on, let me explain to you why he wants to get to it right away. All right, we'll have part two reason of Steve's response coming up at twenty three after the hour today subject he wants to skip the best part. You're listening show. All right, Steve, let's get to it. Let's recap for the Strawberry Letter for today. He wants to skip. The best part is a subject. Well, this woman is seventy, got the raging hormones of thirty year old, and she's considers making love and art and if you're not a painter, she's not interested. She'd met this man online, which is great. She's seventy, I'm assuming he's of age. And they started seeing each other and she says, I'm a big fan of getting things started right way here, not just jumping into it. Was she saying at beginning, her boyfriend started out during the pregame show, but now he wants to get to the main attraction right away. Now, she says, his stammers stand stamina is wonderful, so there's no complaints. She say, I constantly wear sexual lingerie and he compliments me on it, but he doesn't take time to enjoy the presentation an unwrapped package. He's a good man, loving and we're even talking about madge. I want to marry him, but I need to know that he's willing to romanticize me and keep it passionate and not just want to wear bam, thank you man type of deal. Stephen, Shelley, how can I get him? Take your time and not just jump in? You can't, you can't. He's seventy, hell is we're waiting for He knows it could go down for him any day. Now, what does that mean? Seventy? The clock is ticking, Shelley, That's what it means. We know, Yes, Shelley, you seventy. You didn't live way longer than you got nowt he don't have seventy more year. I'm telling you why he got to jump in. Anybody got time for this? No more were seventy. We gotta get to it. She say. He used to do the pregame show. Now he want to jump into it. He's seventy. You want him to do? Give you a couple examples. Well, you know, I want to be a young seventy, but I'm gonna be like him though already know it. Let's talk about a couple of things. When you go to the movies, you don't want the damn preview, you want the movie. I don't want to see no trailer. I don't give a damn what's coming next week. I might not be here next week. I want the movie. What did I pay my twenty dogs for? Damn it? Give me my movie. That's why the seventy year old man ain't waiting. I got another one for you. Okay, I don't like cracker Jack's. I want to pride now. I've been that way since I was a little boy. Or I buy a cracker Jacks, but dog, gonn it. I want the pride. I don't give dupper damn about the crack of jets, all up in my teeth, cutting the roof of my mouth. Wear my pride once again. That's why he can't wait. Here's another one for you. He looking at it like an HBCU game. We're here for the band. Damn begat half halftime? Where the banding them? Damn chilly? This ain't even a good football game. Yeah, hen we we can't find the kick him. We ain't kick the field goal in two years? The quarterback and throw fifteen yards? What's the stull? At half? Tiver the receiver looked like your little brother. Got out here for the HBCU game. Mister Jared Rice come along every nine and Walter Payton everybody else looked like children. HBCU game. I'm out here watching the thirteenth grade. Man, where is the bad dam nick sonic boom dam jackson boys that brain meet him from ratlers. Come on, I won't southern out here. Oh man, HBCU game. That's why we can't wait so quick? Getting mad at the man, right, he said me, you sent me what you're taking your time for. Your time could be next week too. Got let's get to it. Stop all this holding up. Stop, wait a minute, hold up, um you tirely swam bam, Thank you man. You want to be lucky. He can steal a wham bam. I know some seventy years ago, dude, that Ben stopped whamming and baming years ago, he says he has. She did say, yeah, old man can last. Now come on, that's that experience that's done with what to do, that's putting your mind somewhere else. Mental mental boy talk. Yeah, so you learn it, take your mind off of it, go somewhere else. So keeping if you think about it, you're gonna mesh yourself. You got medicine, you got all the piles on the knife stand. Stop thinking about which people. You got to tell a lot of ways to occupy your fan. Make it true. Man. Yeah, thinking about this is true? Right, yeah, you ever been at it? It just started to do something to distract yourself like a dog girl. There's this practicing voices? All right? Listen email us or Instagram. That's your thoughts on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to Jana what is this? Is it just me? Or? Out of comics have used the phrase is it just me to start their comedy routines. These are just a couple of is it just me? That's all? It is nothing big, Okay, friends, we were just talking about this is it just me? Or our girl scout cookies getting smaller? What have you noticed the same? No, they're not, No, they're not. No, no disrespect of getting a little bigger. But again, oh my, I haven't noticed really all right? What else you got, Junior? That one? Yeah, I'll tell you one. I've got this phone call. But it's scarce thing. Yeah, it's just just me though, But the person in the family that causes all the trouble when they call you and say guess what, you really don't want to know. It's not just you. Let me ask you this. When you lost you and your car lost, did you turn down the radio so you can see better? Got nothing to do with me, but you got to see though. Anybody got to shut up. Hush, I'm low. Just hush that fuss. I can't contradrate me. Is it just me? I'm starting up? Is it just me? No matter how many orders of fries you by, by time you get home, you're gone, You're gonna eat. It's not just you. Yeah, you can't buy them fritch fries and not eat them on the way. Might say that, Say no, no you can. I'll tell you what. Is it just me? But when you break a hunt, it don't it disappear? I had six right, so true. When you hear the water running for about ten fifteen, do you have to peet right? You gotta do it, You gotta go. It's not just you. Ye, okay, okay. You've been looking for your glasses and they was on your head. You better say that, Steve. You ever been walking around talking on yourself but looking forward? Yes, I'm talking about man. I don't came back in the house with all the way upstairs all around it. Man, I'm just talking. I'm talking to my wife, and then she said, see, why are you bring us hard? They're running up the steps. She said, what you doing? I thought you was getting in the car. You was going to play golf. Baby, I can't find my phone, she says, Steve, you talking over, I ain't saying nothing. Ain't gotten your car. Act like we just conn you're listening show. Lock them up, all right, lock them up. Everybody knows somebody that's considered good people. You know, good people, Oh keep to themselves, always speaking. My theory is lock they ass up because they can't be trusted up to something something, you know what. People like that, The people who are always helping old people, always going over there. How you doing, miss Johnson? You got enough to eat? Liked ass something? Up to something something? You know what I'm done. People who drive the church bus singing the choet, just so good to help out, like the ass up going out here. I'm you're driving the church bus. I don't trust you, damn people. You up to something? You're just driving the church bus. You ain't getting paid like the ass up people have a party to have a party and tell you because ignorant, right, he ain't never heard of, don't bring nothing, just bring yourself. Oh come on like dass up up with Steve up, like him up him and churning in his party. People who see your trash cans out by the curve and you leave and they roll them act up to your house just to be nice, Lock them up, locks up. Abody asks you to roll nobody damn task. The first person at work, you know, the fun always that worked, You got the light zone, makes your the internet is working, you know what I mean? Got donuts for every damn body? What's that about that sounds like you? Common is on? The comment is for brainbody people who come to work and speak to every damn man cubicle. How you doing today? I want your weekend, that your damn been there? How my weekend was what you up to? I look at no about people's weekends. People are always looking out for you, you know, like if you go out of hard to make sure to get your newspapers, yea man and stuff. Let my stuff, pilot. I don't know. I don't even know ever you're gonna do, my man? Why are you looking at my mail? Did I ask you? If the mail man keep living at the damn it, you do the same damn thing. Yeah, you do the same thing I like for my mail, the pilot. You know what I'm talking about. The people are always having baked sale. Oh we trying to raise money for the neighborhood. What is that about? Wow? You bringing baked goods at your house to sell to people in the neighborhood. You're up to something. You don't know everybody in the neighborhood. You know people who bring soup over to your house when you're sick. I heard you was under the weather. I brought you some soup. Nobody ask you for no damn. Yeah, so your car broke down and somebody just pull over and fix your car. Damn always picking up the tab always, Oh I got it, I got it. She got too good jobs. What what is that about it? I'm got to give him a side out? What is that about buying Sally? Yeah? Well I babysit. You about gat me? N? Did anybody asks you to be nice? Oh? Man? What about it? I'm a woman. I dropped something on the floor and the guy picks it up. I picked it up. That's a true statement, that's a true state. You're listening to morning show, all right, Carla, Time now for our girl chat on this labor day and maybe speaking of labor day and speaking of labor, a woman in the UK got the shock of her life. Now get this when she started having cramps while out drinking with her friends. Okay, oh I heard about this. This is crazy. It was Lavinia Stanton. She was enjoying a night out until the pain became too much and she was forced to go home. When the pain got worse, she headed to the emergency room and that's when she learned that she was pregnant. What and an active labor what? Wait? Wait wait? And then Shirley, I was also reading that this twenty three year old she had no idea that she was expecting and she was eight and half months along. How in the world she out there kicking it with her best sis, drinking martinis and this girl goes into labor and she welcomes her daughter later willow. She didn't have prenatal care or anything, but the baby girl was born healthy. She said, she gained a couple of pounds, but she just did not know that she was pregnant. Can you imagine the phone call to her maid. I know, but she were doing things that could possibly get you pregnant with obviously no protection. Come on, hey, why baby, I just had a baby? No really baby? Yeah? Why labor day? All right, we'll be back with more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show coming up at thirty three minutes after the hour. Right after this. You're listening, all right, Steven's that time again. Please introduce your good good friend Jay Anthony Brown. Let's look into his mind, Ladies and gentlemen, the dark, demented and troubled mind, bitter, broken up, love starved man. Here we go. There's a new game out. I don't even know the name of it, but it has to do with being black or went in the black card? Have you heard about this Shirtley? Get your black card as them? Anyway, I have some questions that will let you know if you should receive black card. We got points to goes, but here we go. First question, have you ever eaten Rice of Braby, Rice and sugar butter and Rice? Give yourself five points? Yeah? Have you ever played the game That's my card? Have you ever played a game That's my car and you didn't have a car? Give yourself three points? Yes? Yes? Or if you got to get yourself ball points? Is there anyone white that you'd like to have sex with. Take away two points. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on, let me take my two points away. Here we go, all right. Have you ever fixed have you ever fixed anything with a knife, fork, or a spoon? Give yourself six points. Put that down there. Oh, I'm back up, I'm back up, All right, all right, here we go. Have you ever put something in front of the oven to dry? Four points? You give yourself four points for that. Have you ever watched your face with a dish cloth? Give yourself two points for that one? Right down? All right, I'm sorry all the bad tiles was really dished out. Yeah, you're right. Have you ever made fun of somebody shouting in church? Give yourself three points with the church for that? Oh, not for the word. My comedy career started as a ten year old actor. Have you ever had a sandwich inside the wrapper that it came in? Have you ever had that? Meaning? Have you ever made a sandwich with just the end pieces of bread? Give yourself four points? That's okay. Last question, last question? Have you ever eaten a piece of candy that an old person pulled out of there? Bra and you ate it anyway? If you have not done anything. I was young and didn't know where, but I did. I didn't know, I didn't know where I got another one ja that only contained condiments. All right, all right, all right, coming up the last break of the day, Steve will have some closing remarks for us. Don't go anywhere. We'll be back at forty nine minutes after the hour right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve, Here we are, last break of the day on this Monday. Leave us with some closing remarks. Let me see, I was thinking again of what I could say to be encouraging to people. Um, I have a couple of points that have kept me throughout my life that I learned actually while I was pledging, Man, that was soon the greatest thing that pledge and gave me was besides some friendship that I still have to this day. It taught me so much that I needed to know at a young age about surviving and thriving and hanging in there. And I learned a couple of poems that have kept me. And if you look them up, man, they're very very valuable. Not nothing replaces my spiritual life at all. And the two aren't to be compared, but they are to be appreciated on both levels the first person. One of the strongest poems I learned was a poem called Invictus and An a poem it says the term gods with an S, but I never say gods because there's only one. And even the entire time I was pledging, I told him I wasn't gonna say gods because and they didn't have them. Brothers didn't have a problem with that at all. But the poem was great. I haven't memorized, I don't haven't written down anyways, or y'all forgive me as I pull it up out of my memory. But Invictus is something like this, out of the night that covers me black as a pit, from pole to pole. I thank, whatever God may be, from my unconquerable soul. In the fair clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud. And under the bludgeonings of chance, my head is bloodied but unbowed. And beyond this place of rafting tears looms but the horror of the shade. And yet the minutes of the years finds, and she'll find me unafraid. It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishment the scroll I am the master of my fate, I and the captain of my soul. That poem Invictus has kept me through a lot of troubling times. The other poem that kept me was a poem that it has a title of, Don't Quit, but the author is unknown. It's an unknown author if you look it up. Just look up the poem don't quit. But it's been a staple in my repertoire things that I say to myself in difficult times, and it goes something like this. When things go wrong, is they sometimes will when the road you're trudging seems all uphel when your funds are low and your debts are high. When you want to smile, but you have to sigh when cares are pressing you down a bit, rest if you must, But don't quit, for life is queer with this twisting turns, as every one of us from ust sometimes learn. And many a fellow has turned about when he might have won had he stuck it out. So don't give up. Though the pace seems slow, you may succeed with another blow. Often the gold is nearer than it seems to a faint and a faltering man, and of the struggler has given up when he might have captured the victor's cup. And he learns too late, when the night came down, how close he was to the golden crown. And you never can tell how close you are. It may be near when it seems afar. So stick to the fight when your hardest hit. It's when things seem worse that you mustn't quit. Those two poems right there have kept me in some dark moments. Somebody made me a T shirt the other day in the Cleveland Cavalier colors of maroon and gold, and gave it to me as a gift, And the T shirt said, I'm a sixty two year old black man from Cleveland, Ohio. What you want? And it's sort of funny, man, because a lot of times when people saying stuff, people who really know. I say to people all the time, what you want from me? You know, I'm only human. I'm subject to make mistakes. I air, I get it wrong sometimes I'm not perfect. I swaying a lot, so I'm gonna hit a lot of strikeouts. You know, when you swaying in the bat, A lot of times you ain't gonna all of them ain't gonna be hits. But I have such a sheer number of at bats that it causes people to be able to see a few more times of me failing. But some people never You'll never have to worry about watching them fail because they're not attempting anything. So if you're the person who's being criticized for your efforts, you have to know that you gotta hang in there because there's so many people that's criticizing you that's not even making an effort. Now I'm a paraphrase another one, but I'm paraphrasing this. This doesn't work exactly like this. It says the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with dust, blood, sweat, and tears, not to those cold and timid souls in the stands who know neither victory nor defeat. That one has kept me too, because I realized that a lot of people that are criticizing you are not even in the same game you win. So when you out there striving and you're hustling and you're trying to put it together, you're gonna make mistakes and you're gonna get criticized. But don't ever, don't ever, don't you ever give up those of my closing remarks today profound Sir kemped outs Erry void Ware prohibited. Participants must be legal US residents at least eighteen years old, unless otherwise stated. For complete contest rules, visit Steve HARVEYFM dot com. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.