Happy Monday Favorite Moments - 12.18.17

Published Dec 18, 2017, 5:00 PM

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Y'all know what time to y'all don't know y'all bag all sung looking back to back down, giving the move like the molking buck bus things and it's tub y'all to be true. Good to study. Yeah, listening to me together for sto bar hand quickly to listen money w don't you join? Yeah? Yeah? By joining me said do you turn the love go? Yeah? You gotta turn to turn out, turn lobby, got to turn out to turn the water the water go. Come come on your back at it. I sure will. A good morning everybody. Y'are listening to the voice, Come on dig me NW one and only. Steve Harvey got a radio show. I have something and it's so describes how I was living. It's so captures the feelings that I had about beginning on the pathway of my dreams. It's so describes how I felt when I was about to attempt something. And I have some striking news for you. It describes often how I feel still today to a degree. So let me tell you what that is. And I know what's happened to a lot of people. Here's an analogy that I um. I've heard a couple of different ways, but I've kind of, you know, fixed it around to where I can uh drink it better, and I think it fits my personality to describe it to people best this way. You know, I was I was talking. I've talked often about the urgency of doing something with your life, of of getting started today, of stopping the procrastination and putting it off, and waiting on all your ducks to line up in a row, and waiting until the stars aligned themselves. If if you ain't on such a thing, you're you're You're never gonna get started. I don't really, I don't know too many people who can say that all the ducks just lined up in a row. Things happen. Things happen even when you get them lined up. One of the ducks get out of line, or somebody knock over the domino, or something happens. But here's here's here's here's here's the point I'm getting at. God has so many blessings available to you, you who's listening. God has so many blessings available to you from where you are right now. I don't care what you've gotten yourself into or what you've done. God has so many blessings that he can send your way, But you have to do something. See a lot of people just sit around and go man, I don't and something always happening to you. You're always getting a break. You're always doing this. You always do man, don't nothing come my way. Listen to me. If nothing ever comes your way, you know why that is. It's because you're not doing anything. God has all these blessings he wants to send you, but you got to give him something to work with. Now you have to give God something to work with. God will bless you. God can touch people's hearts on your behalf. He move situations around for you. He can align the stars. He can set the ducks up in the road. But align the stars and move people around, and touch people's hearts and set the ducks up in the road. For what based on what have you put forth? Any effort? Have you made a single step in any direction to do the right thing or go the right way? That gives him something to put his finger on. Come on, man, God can only bless you according to your faith. If you have a little bit of faith, give him that, let him work with that. He can do that. You know, man, I didn't always start with these speeches you're hear in the morning. Now, I ain't always had these. I grew to these. I stumbled my way to these. I messed up my way to these. Here, I got it wrong so many times to be able to sound like I got some sense. I said it often. Failure is a one the full teacher. Do you know how many times I have had to have failed to have what I have in my head today. I'm telling you, man, it's a process. People get mad at the process. You got to do something to give God something to work with. He'll bless you. But what you want me to bless if you ain't putting forth any effort, any effort, if you just sit down and start. I got a book coming out, I'm telling you, man, that's going to really explain this thoroughly. Man, Where you can get blessed from whoever you are in your life, wherever your starting point is, wherever you find yourself wound up, you can get you can get it back from. Now. I've done it, man, by the grace of God, I've done it. I I got got over. Man. I learned some things along the way. Because here's the deal. As long as God keeps waking you up in the morning. He ain't through with you yet. When he's done, you're done. But if God still has a plan for you you wake up in the morning, He's still got some more work for you to do. You wake up in the morning. So if you keep waking up, man, it's something that God wants from you, would love to have from you, and he can work with you, man, if you just walk towards him a little bit. So here's the deal. I know it's hard for the average person to start because the fear of the unknown is incredible. What if I failed? What if I don't get picked? You know, one of the hardest things I ever did was walking in to quit my job. Oh man, let me tell you about that day when I decided that I was gonna be a full time comedian after winning an amateur night one time, quitting your job, following your dream, going forward despite all the nay says, it's like stepping off a cliff. It's like actually just walking off the edge of a cliff, hoping, hoping. Now not really knowing, but hoping hoping is the bad basis of faith. I stepped off that cliff hoping that my parachute would open and allow me to drift down. See, I've never sky dived before, but I would imagine part of the thrill. And I don't know this because I'm not going to sky dive to find out. I think part of the thrill for people is the danger part of throwing yourself out a plane and how it feels to be free falling, but the whole time they're free falling, having this exhilarating, over the top moment. You have got to believe in your heart of hearts, you have got the hope with everything in you that when you pull this cord the shoot opens or else. This ain't a good move at all. But you've packed your shoot yourself, You've taken the lessons, so you go ahead and you make the leap. Now, the only thing about putting your job and following your dream is you ain't really been trained all that good for this, and you aren't really You didn't pack your shoot, but you ain't never opened it before. So I walked off this cliff, That's what it was like. And you following your dream is like you're walking off a cliff. Now, let me tell you something. Here's the part where people don't never make the jump. They see somebody like myself who jumped off the cliff and the and and the pass shot don't open right away, and I hit a couple of rocks on the way down. I got my back cut up pretty bad. I got my clothes ripped off. They see that three years living in a car man he got his life toe down jumping off that cliff. I ain't jumping off that cliff. But see, what you don't understand is you don't you don't know it. But eventually the shoot will open and I'm at the parachute opening part of my life. Man, where the shooting open and I'm drifting and I'm able to go over the Harris Gut my shoote over to Paris and glide. I've I've glided over to Africa and seen what it looked like. It's a slow ride down. When the pass shute finally open, and my back then heell too, and the cuts that I had on me, I remember now I know how to stay away from the edge. But the parachute then opened, and I'm enjoying my life for the first time. I'm gliding, but I got hit up against the rock. I can see more. I get a chance to see more things. I get to glide and see more parts of the world. I'm living my dream. The pass SHOOTE open. Your pass SHOOTE is gone open. But I'll tell you one thing for sure, it will never open if you don't step off that cliff. You got to step off that cliff, got to get the pass SHOOTE open for you. But you got to jump. Baby. That's the hard part, ain't it. Now? Question is into this story right here today, when you're jumping, I want to wish you and your family are very, very happy holidays from all of us here to Steve Harvey Morning Show. You're listening Steve Show. Ladies and jit boards and girls, people from all around the world. Check me out, check us out, check it out. This is the Steve Harvey Martin Showaches invited. Come on, roaches. You ain't gotta want them. So what you do is you know, like back why stayed? You know back in the day, it was simply if you can't you remember the montre You know, if you can't beat them, join them. I knew people where you just joined them? Do you just ignore him? You saw him? WoT you just gone at your business man? Yeah? You wear yourself out trying to kill every roach. Man. You just couldn't do it. Exhausted, I'm talking about man. Somebody stop and slap you know what I'm saying. Just don't end up on my peanut but and jelly salmich. I'm good, No, I feel that's true, stake. Just don't end up on my plate. Just let me set the seven down and don't end up morning that. We're good. Okay, you were just seeing a leg on that. It was just the leg. I don't want to talk about. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have started my bad. Let's just start over doing the day. I'm Frankie Beverly made said. I know, I bought it on myself. Yeah, I oh, no, blame to no one. Yeah, that's what I just did. We're gonna talk about. This is Monday morning. Man, everything's good. The world is still alive and ticket Trump still doing his thing. Oh my god, you're absolutely right. All right. When we come back, it's time to start something funny. We'll be back at thirty two after Hey, look, if you love the beach music, all inclusive food and rinks me, then I want you to join me up in the second angle, saying the sould festival in the d R. Go on over to Steve Harvey saying the soul dot com to reserve your room today. Hey Tommy Jay, come, what's that? What's up? You know what we need to give American people who are gonna get the gift? They don't want to fix your face when you open it. Play it off that you happy. Tickets from your kids and bless their hard that's all the money they head all right, Oh just lie, oh dish washing. Yeah, I get you, ye something we got to play together. People doing the best they can for you. Don't give me handkerchi box of white Man. How about you that big bunch of paper towels they because I know you always n yeah. I mean, there's no really way to say. I mean when you say the gift and you gotta fix your faith? Oh wow. Thank you for the college days. I didn't even know what Colin turned up. Thank you for the whole little capsule. Don't get you that you don't want to. I don't want none of that our belts. I needed a group of variety of bills. Thank you, But you flip it over. It's a different different you give me like Man, Gucci or Louis Bell. Let you hear your wife? Yeah, hey baby, you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, we're back, we're here. So Shelly, what is this I'm doing? Now? Okay? Well, you know how we always say, asked the CEO? How we always ask you questions and you give us very beautiful, lovely, wonderful, responsible answers. So we're gonna, we're gonna, we're available for you to ask us questions. We're gonna ask us what we bring to this show. Yeah, you know, I ain't gonna ask you what I want to So far, so fun. See why who first, Shirley? Let's go with Tommy First, Tommy, why should I continue to pay you what I'm paying you? Yeah? This real, and I'm stupid, ignorant, and I bring all that to the table every single day. And that's what happened. You get it? Man? And if I roll over the juniors quote truth be told, I'm gonna get a little bit more told. Is as stupid as you. Let's go with Carla Carlin. Yes, sir, who do you consider to be the least effective person on the stack? Was ready for? That? Is my courtion? Who is the what the least effective person on this staff can't be me. I just got here, yea long time. All right, I'm ready with my head. What is it? I've narrowed it down to two people. Keep narrowing, and I've made my final decision. Who is it? Tommy? And I agree with you, Thank you very much. Next, let's go with Junior. J Junior, do you think that's your voice? The tone in your voice will be called for a pay reduction here, that's how you don't sound like an adult. No, no, I think it's called for a pay raid. This is hot. I get the hob and ship my money match my just ask it, and I'm really out of the dolt. Yeah, I know that. Okay, we're gonna do Jay last, so go ahead and ask me. Hey man, so what really happened over there time during the morning while yours is over here? Well, it was late one night and I saw the light. I didn't feel right. I said, this is a good time to escape and go to the other plantation. So I cut the Bible wire with my teeth and all the way over here, why machine guns was shooting over my I was to feel yelling, yelling, please, somebody hit me. And I came up through the ground right out dug a hole after got on the outside of the fence because I wanted to come up and the scenics. That's why I asked you, whoa my teeth? Only person? Yeah, I was gonna say, asked me. Then asked Jay, but go ahead, asked me. I'm ready, Yes, sir? What is your value? If the first of all you suck for that question? I know you're the CEO, but I'm I'm everything. I don't think the show could function without me. That's great answer. Thank you? Something missing it? Thank you. That's why I never take vacation. Now, you're scared if you go where you come back it won't be I got to stay here. Where is that? Is that the kind of questions you're gonna ask? You want some? Well? I mean I think we have time for another. Okay, let's start again with Tommy. Tommy, Yes, what is it? What is it that bothers you? The mote? Oh? Thank you, true, Thank you so much. I just want to I try to be as aggravating this. I want you very much. Yeah, let's go back to Carla. Let's go to Carlin. Carl what disturbs you the most about your position here at the Morning Show, the lack of pay you and calling that will continue to disturb you for years to come. Let's go to Junior. J Junior, Okay, do you have any plan ever of bringing a family into the Morning Show that we couldn't meet? Wife, kids, things like that? No, No, you're gonna find out who are really? Ain't rid he ain't nothing a talking down? Let no, no, nobody. Okay, I think we have temper at least one more with Jay got Do you think that you're being a die? Betty should be something? What's not a problem? You should get some type of taking some money? Baby orange juice? Why did you buy somebody? How does he think orange? You people think that just drink orange juice? Down, Junia, head of crisis. Alright, that concludes this version of church complaints. Coming up next. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show. I am deacon deaf jam as you know, I'm past the motown, is in a route right now. He'll be here momentarily. But of course the one, the one and only Deacon add no, it is here, Reverend morning, I'm a reverence. Are you can you make it through this? This morning. I got my mouth closed with my breathe at home. No way, your mouth is closed, it's completely closed. Before we get started, can you just has to tell us what's around with you. It's not sight, it's in case you think that it's just a birth defect, no sign congestion. No, there's nothing there. There's nothing there that it checked and there's nothing there. I've gone to the doctor or come back and he said, you know what, there's nothing there. And so I'm saying to you, there's nothing. You're saying, you're clear, completely clear. This is a this is a good day for me today. Some some days are breathed heavier than today. Today is a very good day. Have been was in throat back he out gown. That really scared me right there, Yeah, he dropped out dead d Now, Yes, I'm fine, I'm fine. Things good, I'm good. I'm good at all. Like you do. After well, you get used to it, you know, I'm second week first, maybe a couple of years, you'll get used to just check you. Well. You used to keep your mouth open, Okay, I'll travor that's open open man, that's worse. That's den had not Reverend Reverend I'm sorry you can't think. Get my thoughts together. Listen, we do have some church to complaints. Do you think you can make it breathe? It's just one of them, just might be one of them. Okay, yeah, let me get started here. Um, it's our annual foot washing day coming Saturday, and we need you are passed of Motown to speak privately with brothers. Titus Callaway. I don't know if you know it, reverend it, but his left foot has only one big toe and one little toe. There are no toes in between those two. No no toes in between the big toe and the little toes. That what you're saying, he has the big one and the letter one. Definitely should not, well, that's what I'm saying. Definitely not open toe sandals, Definitely, that is a that's a weird look. You talk about something that slides around your foot down the bottom and flip flops are out there? Where would you wear open to settles that? We need you a top with him, speak with him, Okay, do that and stay with me. Yes, because he comes every year to get his feet washed, and nobody wants to wash them. Undership. She was because between them here here between the big big one in the letter way. It's coming though, to hurry up, it's coming. You get quiet. I don't know when you fell off. I don't you scanned me? What do you do between the account? Like one? All right? Here was another one? I as you know. The the the Death Choir sung this past Sunday. Um, we're gonna need you are rever no time to communicate with them that there's only one person leading a song. They all trying to sing lead and not and the rest need to be on the chorus. This is not good. This is the Death Choir and we need one of you will to speak with him. Someone should speak to the death. I'm suggestion loud, just as you go with a very loud Yo, it's only one of y'all. Is that gonna be your approach to talking to the death? Cry? You have some to the blood? Right now? When I'm asking you something, where do you go? You just stuff? Just do you hear me? You hear me? To stop breathing? Uh? I'm okay, okay. If I stopped for more than thirty minutes, then call someone, alright, then called someone sim good. All right, we have another situation. Listen here I send it to year old. Our very own sister Isabel low Body, who has been selling moonshine out of her backyard for years, is now over the Communion ministry. We have reasons for to believe this is why everyone is knocked out sleep halfway through service and femiline out of church after the benediction. Now somebody's gonna have to talk to sister Elizabeth low Body. I will speak to her. I'm gonna say the could I get a couple of jobs with that? First of all, they still call it moon shot. They really do itself and it's called mood show. Yes they do. What do they call us? What's her Lesson low Body? Yeah, that's her name. Why here, last name Strawberry? Nobody? Do you work at the strawberry plantation? Right with me? In the middle of what we're doing. They have strawberry plantations. In case you didn't know it, well, I didn't come from one. All right, this is no hurry, reverendad No, this is a complaint about past the Motown Deacon Deacon Kurby, Deane squad Pump was not sitting down the entire service. He stood up. Then, that's because he has a boy all on his left, but pastor actually attacked him for standing there. We'll deal with it later. When he passed to get to you, But that deacon curved Deane's quade pump. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. Everybody, you're truly James Browns and Steve Harvey Morning Show. Who is the biggest liar in your family? Myself? Who's the biggest liar in your family? My dad? Who's the biggest liar in your family? Who in my family? You know we're a godly family. We gotta have one. We have adulterous Thank you very much. Who's the biggest liar in your family? Man? That's to be the pops man. Never come get you when he said you're gonna get you, never give you the gift you say he's gonna give you. You know that rangs the top of the list. Still holding onto that pain h Man. Who's the biggest liar in your family? Show my mom? Your mom is a big liar. Some of the lies your mom is told? Who my father was? Whoa The question of the day is, who is the biggest liar in your family? My uncle and my mom brother, my uncti, my mom's sister, and I got a cousin, a little father, lie lie for no reason? Who is the biggest liar in your family? Who's the biggest liar in your family? What does he lie about? And who's the biggest liar in your family? Husband? Your husband lies a lot? What's the last lie he told? I don't even know where he is right now? Thank you all so much? Real quick? What's the greatest morning show in the world? Thank you so much? All right? So uh wow. According to a new study, settling is the secret to a long and happy relation and ship. That's right. Realizing that the grass isn't greener somewhere else, and that the person you're with doesn't have to be everything you're looking for but pretty darn close is the secret to a lasting union. The study also reveals the dating apps like Tender give us way too many options, making it hard to believe that that person we are with is the best one for us. So, Steve, what do you think about this answer? That settling? Is it? If you want to be happy? I don't think you if you call it settling? But you're gonna have to look. Ain't nobody gonna be everything perfect? They might appear to be in the beginning, but the flaws is gonna show up. So what you gotta do is you just gotta get with somebody who the good outweigh the bad because the bad is coming. And then you gotta get somebody that's worth struggling with. And if they're not worth struggling with, you're not gonna stay in the struggle, all right, Ja, I can't give advice on relationship, definitely not. I'm gonna just be glad what you say, Steve, nothing not a damn word, Captain new co host. You can't say that the new man hush over but ship advice. Yeah, The point is when you give my mic Also, you've been things you've learned, you learned, you know, so you don't repeat the same as you learn it. Damn he just but Jay, surely you're going to get married before it's all said? It does? Is my mike completely? What's the longest you've been mad? That's wanted all the way off. What's the longest you've been mad? Is your segment over? All? Right, Come on, Steve, ladies and gentlemen, she's here with the news, Miss and true guys. Good morning, everybody. This is an trip for the news. While the power is back today at the nation's busiest airport, Atlanta's Hartsfield Jackson International, yesterday, all incoming flights were on hold and take offs were delayed because of a power outage. Is still trying to figure out what happened, what caused the outage. One hundreds of flights are still nevertheless canceled today, So if you have something that runs through that airport through Atlanta, you need to check and make sure your carrier that that flight is still scheduled, believe it or not. Southern California's massive Thomas Fire continues to rage. In fact, it's now burned through two hundred and sixty nine thousand acres. You hear that two hundred sixty nine thousand acres and has become California's third largest wildfire arm record. Some one thousand homes have been destroyed thus far. The blazes about contained and it's not. Republican leaders meanwhile on Capitol Hill making a fast and furious push this week to get a sweeping tax overhaul approval before Christmas. How Speaker Paul Ryan assists that it's just what the American people need, making jobs grow in this economy. It's about middle class incomes going higher. This is about giving people the ability to make ends meet in a plan for the future. I'm so excited that we're on the cusp of this great accomplishment. And if Congress acts by Christmas, people are going to see games very soon, and we'll see six Miami firemen who lost their jobs after a black colleague found pitches of his family defaced the news raped over his belongings then now soon to get their jobs back. Captain William Bryson, Alejandro Sesse, Kevin Mazoso, David Rivera, Justin Rumbaud, and Harold Santana contesting their dismissals, asking the Miami fire Fighters Union for its support. The union is going to decide tomorrow. Then double a CP is urging the union not to. In Missouri, a black Kansas City fireman who said he wasn't promoted because of his race has been awarded more than three d fifty thousand bucks and Compenson Tory damages. Tarshi Jones was with the department for seventeen years. He took Captain's test five times, scoring very high each time. Nevertheless, white fireman with lower scores and less experience were promoted over him. Walmart has been criticized for years with the way it treats its workers, like paying low wages. But now, according to The New York Times, the ginormous retail company's gonna start letting the employees receive their wages. Before the companies paid a two week pay a day if necessaries, you can get paid for the week that you work. And as predicted, the latest Star Wars movie was the biggest, found you my soul, untamed power, and beyond that something truly special. The last Jedi pulled in a jaw dropping two hundred and twenty million dollars twenty minutes after the outcomes Eugene the Butterfly. Stay tuned to Steve Harvey Morning Show. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Well it's a whole another hund of day season Maine. We got all the good pixies and sees as main Mamma nim meaning the kitchen cookie faked chicken brisk and cook get it up, kind of water corn read with deposit, kate sanitance and macaron i. All that my plane. I was about it everyp and just say rings, I'm already think about my saving in damp around the table, families, everything jingle pounds for me, smells and all the things that season, breathing, shiny lights, creadings of white mamma, sweet the table. These are the things the holiday brings, things that make your snvery see holiday, happy holiday day. It's a hard day, your hollow holiday happy HOLLI Jay em a reason Jay's gone by you and me? Family stas like the thought of July babies crying too is crying con't play space and uncle's grains and grains come together, don't make you want the same haw tho safe bels wee. I just can't wait to hope to tight read the rustle tone. I let you go, let's slow, let's shows this fee me coming here. It's out your love holiday hard, hard reading, shoulder especially special special. I wish every day you could be like a holiday doll with joy and press f Yeah, oh you got to harry. I'll beg play if I were the kid and reminiscing, wishing it with it. It's winning again. A pepper intament. Stay away from stuttle, gotta green candy, gown a road, having fun, loving life, finished things and get listen to Steve and Mom and Glad. It's not in the middle. Everybody gather around. It's a family of fair I wish it was a holiday every day in a year. Just s Happy Holidays from Oatmeal and Alison Williams. You can get happy Holiday song on iTunes right now and play it throughout the holiday, because that's what the holiday is all about. It's about good spirit. That's a good spirit. That's that feel good song. Happy Holidays from Oatmeal and Alison Williams. You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, it's your boys time, he's here. Time to slay another one, murder another one. Well, you know what somebody told me, family, I don't know where you got that man from a lot of merge. I'll be weighing on these songs and been friends for years way back, like calax, that's what he said, right, So what's the list? The list will probably get longer today. We're gonna put the Franklin's name on the list. Oh my god, you mean the song is calmed Happy and my song is calm are done? Nappy? What he get out? You know, her chemicals can hurt children, Her chemicals can change it change what will her chemical stud you come on now, come on now, come on now, I'll just let it be now, just let it be nappy right now. I want to care with people say if they are not trying to pay, my hair is not meant to lett right now, keep the hat co up, phone stone the story I like. Get nappy on your hand, that's what you won't hurt your fingers when you run through my head. Take it up. If it's not try a change it fried, let it beating beat on a way. You should know you now, said Jesus joust as well. Looks so nice and you just want to be if you want to be now let it be nappy right nothing, don't you want to be and all that it's Christian and all that it's could let it be never right now, cahol, I just want to be annoying. I'm not gonna keep on getting a cock and we's with they send the prom no freaking broken talk and be nappy, happy to be to fless a brief Robert, are you run through her head? Never to your hair. If it's now, don't be holis in your hands, bring it down right now. Don't do what I say know what I'm talking about, say let it break it down down. If you're gonna be na the dug out to let it be napping. Don't you let it be happy. Let it be nicking and a thing that is right and thing I just want to be that food. Say take that hot ass weird? Yes, let it be home run jus like yeah, just like her. Come on, come on, take a comb on this Christian. What their friend that is God's little is Christian? Hold up on the show man? What they say down to family? You would you get him from? Where you got that man from? One lady said, I'm back. I was trying to find another way. Listen to that show. Now I found it. Now it lost him him somebody you got all the talent people on your show? Come o leque, come on coming up, Momo nique and what she said off for me? Yeah, let somebody else be the headline. Did you see the video? Oh well, Kirk's name on the list. Got something crazy? All right, we got a frank phone call. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show coming up at the top of the hour, right about four minutes after today's Strawberry letter. You do not want to miss that. But first the review is on tap yet again with this frank phone call. What you got, well, what you know? It depute on what you want, y'all. How you wanted double stupid, just low stupid or just stupid on ice. You know I'll go for stupid on ice every time. Hello. Yes, I'm trying to reach a tan you please, Hi, Tania. My name is Daniel, from the head of store security here at your job. Yeah, listen, I'm trying to see. Um, I'm gonna have to I know to day is your day off. I'm looking at the schedule here. It seems that you don't come back in until Saturday. I'm trying to see if it's possible I can get you to come of the store. There's a bit of a situation I want to discuss with you. There's about eighteen hundred dollars worth of merchandise missing from the store. Yeah, as about eighteen hundred dollars worth of merchandise. And we definitely know that this is a in the house situation. This is not someone walking in shoplifting. This is definitely an in house situation with employees who have evidently been shoplifting from the store taking things and we want to get down to the to the roots of the problem. Well, ma'am, it's uh, it's been brought to my attention that there's a possibility that you may be h part of this situation. And I don't steal. You don't call my house accusing me. Is still listening from nobody, Okay, Well, my hangar man, what I'm trying to do is just trying to try to say something. And I told them, Okay, wait, it's a second. Now, do you have a sister named Cynthia. Well, now it seems that here on some of the footage that we have on camera that uh, it's a possibility that it seems like your sister is actually wearing some of the merchandise that we sell here in the store. Okay, just because she wears something that we sell in the store, don't mean that I stole it. Well, we don't see where she's at. I've backed the footage up as far as I could. I don't see any footage of where she purchased this particular merchandise. And my assumption is maybe you gave it to her. I gave her And just because you don't see what somebody purchased it, don't it's been stolen. Okay, here's what I'm gonna I'm gonna just get to the chase of this, Tanya. What I'm gonna have to do is this if I can't get you to come to the store. Man. And matter of fact, here's another question for you before I go any further. You have children at all? Tanya? I got children? Wat do you? Is it possible? Because I'm missing a lot of baby merchandise as well. And you know what, you know what you really pruss for this morning? Okay, because you're gonna call somebody on the off day accusing them of stealing. Okay, here's what I gotta do. Are you coming into the office so I can talk with you. I'm not coming no where on my off day. Well, then what's gonna happen, miss Tanya, is I'm gonna have to actually come to your home, check your closet. I'm gonna have to check your kids and see if they're check and see if they're wearing merchandise that big that comes from this Come to my house if you want to, and they're gonna take your somebody here in the body back. Excuse me, you heard what I said. You heard what I said. You don't call nobody. I bust my death store. I bust my death store. You understand me. I work hard for y'all. Okay, you're you've been busting. You've been busting. You car here accusing me of stealing. I ain't so from nobody. I don't have to steal. That's why I work all that. You understand. I think you've been buffing your butt. Taking stuff is what you've been doing. You've been from nobody. You understand me. I do not steal. I'm gonna come over there. I'm checking your closets things, but it ain't no season. And I'm checking your babies as well. And I'm making check my baby and see what happens. You put your hands on any damn thing in here, and see what happens. I don't want to have to drag your butt here. You're gonna drag somebody. Oh now, you threatening me. I don't want to drag out of your house security guard to security guard. You like your job that much you're willing to die for that? Who said anything about me dying? I did come over here, and that's what's gonna happen. That's what happens when you put people on the off day, you get hurt. Okay, I get a couple of damn days off, and y'all gonna call me with this? So are you threatening me? Now? I'm threatening you? Then? You just called that you was coming over here. Yes, I did so here, bring here. I'm don't don't let me tell you something. I get you. I can have you brought up on charges. You know that, Bring me up on charges and see what happens. You see if you get that first. I'm all my way over there now to check you and your kids. You understand me. I'm over here to check me and my kids and see how they check your somebody here, let me tell you something. You got to tell me. You ain't got nothing to tell me. You ain't got nothing. Why don't you go ahead and tell me what you took? Maybe I'll go light on, I'll go like stid or something. You don't sound like a damn food. Why don't you tell me what you took? I bet you teaching your little kids over there how to steal too, aren't you what you teach kids? Hey? Hey, hey, now you hey, hey, hey, don't call me with this book. Let me tell you one moth Are you listening to me? I got one more thing to say to you. You ain't got nothing else to say to me? Are you listening? What this is? Nephew timing from the Steve Harvey Martin Show. You just got prank sister sid to you? Okay? Are you and that broad want to play game? Okay, y'all want to play right? Y'all got jokes. Y'all got jokes. I got joke for both of y'all around here taking care of her and all her ugly play with me day alight? Tell you to me? She told me, she said that timmy be be pranking people. You can't nobody get me that on crazy stuff that come to people? Don't know? Somebody calling and tripping with this. You told me you couldn't. You thought you couldn't be got That's all right, y'all got me. Let me ask you one more thing. What is the baddest radio show in the land? Steve Harvey Morning Show? First of all was fun? Now in other news, uh, Facebook, We're all on Facebook at some time or another. Facebook is still a huge deal, with about a quarter of every human on on planet Earth having a Facebook account. That's real. But it looks like Facebook might be slipping just a bit, as there are three point four percent fewer teens between the ages of twelve and seventeen using Facebook this year than there were in two thousand sixteen last year. Instead, they've just switched to Instagram and Snapchat. So that's what the young people are doing there on Instagram, they're on Snapchat. Older people are on Facebook. Yeah, I know, come my mom on comment on everything. I pope that's my boy right there. Well you ain't lat It's like marm will put your computer, Dirk, do you like Lamborghinis? No, well we know what kind of cars you drive. But yeah, but yeah, baby, well I'm Cadillac playing hard. I can't never shook it, okay, Like like Pempen and Roscoe were earlier Cadillac. When I was a little boy, we used to play that's my car coming up. Cadillan came up and I didn't. It wasn't my car. I fought you for you got a thing for Cadillacs. Dog, I wanted the Fleetwood brown fot go gold. I'm not he was gonna say, like black gold. Well, I was gonna tell you about Lamborghini there now in the business of selling smartphones. Uh yeah, not content to just be in the exotic car business. Um, they're getting into the smartphone business now. The Lamborghini smartphone, which they're calling the Alpha One, is encased in handmade Italian leather. It features a high five and a half inch display and a twenty megapixel camera. Just like Lamborghini cars. This thing is beautiful, it's fast, and of course expensive. Any guesses on how much it might be if it's a phone for from Lamborghini, it's no. Two thousand, four fifty dollars will be. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Today's Strawberry letter is up next, and it's a good one. Let's get it. Let's get it. Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for you, Strawberry letter. Thank you enough for your subject. He pays me for my services, Dear Stephen, surely I've been married for a year and I'm the breadwinner of my family. We have a great lifestyle because of my income. My husband works for a cable company and he gets paid four hundred dollars a week, and that just takes care of the car. Note. So let me tell you how I'm the breadwinner. I'm seeing this older guy who pays me to be his chaperone, clean his house, et cetera. Oh and by the way, this guy pay for my wedding a year ago. Yes, he knows about my husband, but my husband does not know about him. My husband thinks that I work at a law firm, and now he's starting to ask questions about my job and want to come pick me up for lunch one day soon. What should I do? Should I come clean with my husband? Please help me. I could see if this was in your past, if you had done these things in your past, But this is going on right in your marriage right now, So you gotta come clean somehow with your husband. I mean, you're gonna have to at some point. I just don't know how you're going to keep this from your husband if he wants to come and take you to lunch and pick you up at the office and things like that. I just don't see how you can lie your way out of this. I will say this, don't tell him everything, So come clean, but not all the way clean. Um. I mean, this man is paying you for your services, and I can only mean you know, think that you mean sexual services. I think your husband is getting a bit suspicious. What are you doing around the house or what are you doing differently now? So he's getting a little suspicious. He wants to know what you're doing, or somebody said something. So I say to you, you got to tell your husband something. You have to. I mean, this is crazy. You've been married a whole year and you're keeping this big life from him, especially if it's sexual services, and you need to stop that immediately. So tell your husband that you work for a man. Don't tell him everything that you're giving him sexual services. Steve, surely, I don't know what letter you read. Now, where is services in this letter? Where did I'm missing? It's in the title he pays me for his services for praise me for myself my sers. Now did we write the subject of this letter? Because in the letter I see something else and I tell you what I mean. No, we didn't write the subject. She did. This is her for my services? See here in the letter here problems. First of all, let's just start with cable board making four hunt a week. Just pay the car. That's where the damn problem right there. Cable boy pulling in full hunted and just paying the car. No, this ain't the rid. This ain't you know, groceries, the Saint Al heating say, electricity, this ain't gas, This is no clothing. This is the problem right here. See this foul hunted. They call that college student money. Now ful hunted. If you're want to come up, I understand I ain't knocking it at all, but the full hunted creating the problem for you because you knew when you got married you didn't want the full hunted. So now cable boy is the problem. My husband worked for a cable company. He gets four hundred week and they just take care of cardor So now let me tell you how I'm the breadwinner. I'm seeing this older guy. Let's stop right there, older guy. Yeah, what does older guy stand for? It stands for sugar dad who pays me to be his chaperone. This ain't the problem, wad and Bible summer school chaperon? Mm hmmm. Where do he need help getting too? Or how old is here? You? Nursing him chaperone is a deceptive turn. Then she says, comma clean his house? Mm hmm, Then comma e tc. Etcetera. Yeah, that's where we must come to terms with what you're doing. It's the etcetera that's getting the money chaperone and don't really pay it, don't pay it up. How is cleaning limited house? Cleaning you down with your same money? Cable board naking? All you over they're doing is cleaning house, But you're cleaning molt in the house. M you are all up in cracks, crannics. C Yeah, that's the type of cleaning you're doing. And oh, by the way, this guy paid for my wedding a year ago. Let me tell you so, I'm a father with four daughters. I didn't pay for two winds. I know how much winds. Cause now for this older man to have you chaperon and cleaning the house and et cetera, and paying for winds, do you know the monkey flips that you're in there doing. You guys to be in there doing some things naked that can't be printed. That's why this led us so damn show. And then come talking about yes he knows about my husband. You just said he paid for the wind. He said, trying to throw us off with your letter, and you just hain't paid for the wind. You don't try to throw us off of what you do. Let's get back to this etc. Because that's what this let about, so etcetera. What is etcetera? Well, let's explore the word E. E stands for extra. You're doing way mode and cleaning house lady. You're doing way way mode and chapeloon. You're doing extra. What does the T me too? You're doing all this to him extra too? And dn C E t C you're doing all this extra to him to get him to do what? What? What Cash? Think about it? Cash? I'll be back with the second half and exposed to you. What to see is okay, you're listening to the Steven Show. All right, Steve, this letter, uh strawberry letter. Today's subject he pays me for my services. Uh. I think everybody got to see this letter for what it is. What is that I thought I did? Well? You know I didn't say you didn't shill, I said everybody needs to see this letter for what it is. First of all, lose the attitude. Yeah, you know you do your hand for the letter. You food exactly? What is yourway being sensitive about my side of the letter. I don't know when you were talking. Right now, listen to me. This older man didn't pay. This woman was win right, she's saying here, what they're doing chores, cleaning down, chaperon, don't know what the hell let mean? We ain't kids. M and E T C mm hmmm. E stands for extra. Yeah, that's more than anybody else. That's above and beyond what anybody else would do. Think or won't you coming there with extra? That's the E N extra M E T C is the acronym stands for extra. T is too. You do the extra to him. That's my favorite. Now the C. You do all this extra to him to get him to what? That's what the see? Yeah, see all that E T C is all that extra to get him to what? Okay, Yeah, come come on now, come here, come here, come on, come with it. Communicate, communicate wire little Yeah, that's the E T C. Come up, Yeah, come up a deal, come out, come out, yeah, come out. Now. My husband thinks I work at a law firm, and now he's starting to ask questions about my job and wants to come pick me up for lunch one day soon. Well, won't he be surprised? Yeah, when he put up at this old man house. Yeah, and you and it ain't exactly dressed like a lawyer, but years going over his breefs. What should I do? Should I come clean with my husband? Please help me, lady, come clean. You won't have a marriage anymore. You got to do what all men would do, all real men in this situation, because ladies, I wrote the book. Act like a lady, think like a man. Now is your opportunity to do the one thing that all men would do. Lie yes, just as you have lied before. See rule number one to line. Ride your lie all the way out. Don't shoot, Let no by d talk you off that lie. You work at a law firm and you are the assistant to the head of the law firm. Mm hmmm. Hold it, and y'all working from the house that day. He want to take you to lunch. Mm hmmm. That's it. Now, you got to go out and get yourself some business cards printed up. You gotta install a fake line at the man's house. We need a brief gase. Yes, you gotta get some horn, real blastes with a chain on, and you got to start playing the role. What you can't do is tell his young boy that you've been in there serving this etc. And this old man, because it ain't gonna go. Good ladies and gentlemen. That is my response to the letter. And the next time you write me with the word etc. And that you're gonna gets it from now, just n don't eat. You don't want me to assume that you tricking spell it out actually won't something? You know alright, Neiman Marcus reveals annual Christmas book. You know they do that every year. Each year since nineteen six, Name and Marcus releases their annual Christmas Book, which includes their infamous fantasy gifts, which are out of reach for most normal people. Okay, I just got to say that because it's for one person on this show. Okay, what they got? Let's see, Well, the Lagus position is out now, and this year is no exception among the crazier items on the fantasy list. Along with your huge price tags, a private New Year's Eve party for three hundred people at the Knickerbocker Hotel in Times Square for a million, six hundred thousand dollars point six. I don't like the name of that hotel, that's the Nicker I don't get drunk. Yeah, okay, but what comes with that, Well, you get a party for three hundred people that's a lot of people. That's a lot. I was at a house party. I know it wouldn't sent me to the It was people. Well yeah, I know, good part we First of all, it wasn't looking in there. It was just I know this. You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, here we go. This segment is called things you say to yourself to keep you from flapping the beep out of someone anyway you need you need to know things that can calm your nerves. That's what a lot of people don't know. You need calm. And now all this ain't for everybody, but I'm sure out of the tea in a sod that I'm gonna list, you can come up with something that fits you. These are just I'm gonna just give you some little who saw moments that you can kind of say to yourself to cleep from slapping the sugar honey iced tea out of somebody. Down on your damn job. You'll be wanting to These are some things you can say to yourself to just keep you from slapping them and then losing your job. You're gonna just go down the list created you say these to yourself. I got two kids in college. Yeah you need that kids. Here got another one right here, already got two strikes on for life. Here's another you can he was right here. Oh, I just got this job. Yeah, I just got the shot, and I was got to work for eight months. I just got this job. But he got about one more time to say something one more time and I'm gonna slap to sugar honey. But I just got the job. Yeah. Oh, I'm closer with time, and I ain't. I got one more year in his ring and play. In one year, you're gonna get a pension. Turkey. Go watch just hanging there, man, nothing, watch the turkey. Here's another one right here. Let it go from frozen yet here go another one right here for a lot of y'all. And I'm gonn just go and sit in my car smoking, Joey, I'm gonna just go sit in my car smoking everywhere. I know it's not legal, but you're just trying to keep your job because I tell you what ain't legal. You slap the sugar honey iced tea. Sugar scares me every time you say every time. Yeah, come on, just sing a song to yourself, or you can just try to nothing but the blood, the blood a man, or just make up yourself. Hold my hand, put them deep into my pocket. My hand put them deep into my pocket. My hand put them deep into my pockets. For slap the sugar honey iced tea, the same melody as do you know the butterfly? But I like it? Yeah, here's the one that to keep you from slapping the sugar honey iced tea out of into Lord knows, I can't go back to jail. I can't go back to jail. Then. I just couldn't stand it down there. I just couldn't not stand it down then, Lord, I can't go back to jail. Oh, but I want to do something. I beat and done something. I'm sorry you on the show, but I can't go back to jail. Or realization right there saying so those are things that you can use on you. You can say to yourself if you from slapping the sugar honey iced tea, are your coworker? Let it go all right. A bear takes an suv and leaves calling card. Bear caused a lot of chaos by breaking into an suv. Not only did the bear get into the vehicle, but he drove it until it crashed into a neighbor's mailbox. As a bonus, he ripped out the radio and the steering wheel, rubbed the back window, and trashed the interior. All of this happened in minutes, and last, but not least, the bear pooped by accident. The family purpose notice. He look, he had been coming down there for a couple of years, eating out the trade. Then they're gonna get a bad lot put on. They've been coming to him two years, come down for dinner evening. They're gonna put a bad lock on their trash. He just gonna they're gonna close the restaurant. Don't notify him. I said, all right, I'll tell you what. I'm gonna breaking this damn truck. Yeah, I'm gonna tell the radio I have to stay. I'm gonna rip up all the cushions. I'm gonna break all the windows in it. And before I leave. Yeah, sugar honey iced tea, y'all, sugar honey iced tea all over the When he got to the trash care with the bad lock, what happen here? Walking up to dude to do? Dude? The back said, So he went on back up in the hill and he was sitting there. So it's finally go. Man, you enjoying your done the last night? So man, you ain't go down to the Harper's placing me go whatever what they put They put a bell lock on it and lotch out this the other bed. That's awful. They just used and abuse you. What are you gonna do about it? I'll show you on going down here tomorrow. Do dude. Oh here they left to hear you be doing it? Ain't nothing to he didn't hear you. Let me go on, teddy damn seats up right here going down and down. Were only want a lot of him? How you like me now? I'm dropping to drive running into the mailbox, but only wanted the hold on? What is you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show? All right, ladies and gentlemen, it is that time, junior. You're ready? Absolutely? Is everybody ready? Yes, I'm a rough room coming in. It's time. Let me just tell y'all something here. I was I'm doing something different this week because I'm growing as an artist, and so I saw something good. I saw something definitely traumatic go on, and it changed my thought process. I saw some coffee wasted Starbucks and it decided pushed me actually into writing limits. So you're not doing poems, no, No, this is limericks. Hit said I need to be doing limits and I did. Yeah, yea. And for those out that they don't know what limerick is a limerick, it's just a short story about an individual. It's real quick weeks. So I changed over limericks and I just found like the growth, thank you, thank you, And so I just wrote some limrics about shure to you, Jay, Tommy and Carla. Yeah, I just because I know y'all. Ye let me start with Tommy. The limerick about Tommy. There once was a man name Tommy who walked around in nice silk put jammies. He was quick to get mad and then turned back land. Oh Tommy is like a suave Okay, that's the truth. And I like to do one about my good friend j Anthony Brown. Grown to know Jay working with Jay on a daily basis, I've grown the norm and this is what I found out. Okay. There once was a man named Jake who had diabetes that would not go away. He could not eat sweets, but he might lose his seats. But Steve this one by Carlor that I do this one like that. I love my faith. There was was a lady named Carlor on the Steve Show. She is the baller. She keeps it so straight and well up to date color sometimes like hollo, I to everybody's been waiting on this. This is what I've been waiting to do. Shirley. Oh, Shirley, and I love you, says, I really do. You probably will pick the crossbo There once was a lady named Shirley. She is real boogie and girly. She keep Steve real straight and she loves her mate. But Shirley, don't come into earth. Those are again. There's what was a man named Timmy who walked around and silk pajohnny. He was quick to get mad and then turned back glad. Oh Timmy, like I said, no, we don't know what listening again? Who a day, y'all? That's just it, uh huh. Right now we're gonna go from Junior's limits that were that were very good, Steve with explain your segments Steve these this and I'm gonna do is you know things that that's code for. There are things people say and you got to know how to read what they're saying. Because it's really a code. You know, they say one thing, but what it really means. So I'm gonna call this this segment is called code cracking. Yeah you've always been Yeah, alright, So Sureley, could you do me a favor? Yes? Do you have one of these? I do? Uh, you say the first line and you crack. Okay, like if the person says I'm in between jobs work especially take No, I don't know. Here's another one, Steve, I don't really watch TV that. You don't watch football, you watch power Yeah alright, I know about this one. When you hear a lady say this is my favorite person. Been there that my favorite favorite? This one, Steve, we've decided to see other people? Yeah, yeah, he just walked out, walked right out. He you just got the memo about we decided he'd been seeing somebody else. Okay, here goes one. I don't really like a lot of company. They stay with mom. You know, I just tried to take as quick as I can. Okay, Um, Yeah, I like to take walks, you know, because when you take walks, you get to see him. He ain't got no damn call. How you like to walk downtown? Who the hell likes to walk down town. Okay, how about this one. Uh, they're tripping down at my job. They tripping down at my job. You got fired? Yeah, all right, you want to Okay, we gotta go. That was good though, Steve was really good that. Okay, we'll be back. You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, it is time now for comedy roulette. Steve Jay, please please quickly set this. Every week our comedy ability is tested. Put five subjects on the wheel, spinning wheel, where stop? We got it. That's all it is. That's all it is comedy. Let you go. All right, here are the five subjects. Number one fish grease. Number two he wasn't that big in high school. Okay. Number three tastes like chicken. Number four, now that I have a little money, you know who I am? And number five, I don't know how you could eat that. You're right ahead, alright ahead, all right, let's go spend the whale cat. Oh, now that I have a little money, you know who I am? Let me have that. Let me start. See back in the day, my nickname was Fish. Didn't nobody no fish. I didn't speak to fish. You're too fine to speak to fish, but now that fishes on eavy. Hey, how you doing fish? I went way out of my league. You would drop dead fine to me. I beg for it. I used to ask for a day and night. You never gave me the time of day. But now now I got a little money. I'm on the Steve Harvey Mortis, you're you're texting me now, I can have it if I wanted. I don't want it now I don't want it. You know whatnot? I got a little money. Know who know my name being collected? They know who they're talking to now. But if they don't even call me by my real name, that's how I know they know I got money. This excuse me as Junior and Junior that ain't my coming name. Everybody know now? Well it's right up my alley. Na, I got a little money. Yeah, you know who I am now? Yeah, this goes out to Ike back in Cleveland and Mr Albert's me and stud. Yeah. I used to call me l kate Leawa Na. But and I I'm by your whole damn story. So the next time I walk in, I ain't coming in law feel me? Yeah, I might just by your what are you doing? What are you doing. Hey, let me put an initial out there with a last name, just the initial and the last name. You know who you are, the last name white. Ah, you were so fine, Oh my god, you were fine. Did not even speak to me in the hall way. I walked past you act like a slave because I ain't wanna look your Now he was that damn fine. But oh it has change. Na, she's got a little money. Yeah, he's got a little money. I'll tell you where everybody know my name that Now I'm a lot more familiar and welcome. When I walked into though bank account used to sit on six dollars tray. But when I didn't know this though, when I go in the bank, now there's a whole another room. It's got vegetables in it. She's oh. When I'm doing the Vegas, mr space this away. Just stand come on around this way. Do you have your access card? Neverbod I have mad Oh you know I used to couldn't go to you. That I wouldn't. I didn't get invited to the big Christmas party because I just you know what I'm saying. I wasn't big enough. I didn't have a name enough. But now that I'm violent, and I'm I'm on the show, and I'm then you got a little money doing this stand up. I don't want to go to your fun Christmas party. You're listening Stry Morning show. You're at the doctor's office, and he gave you a pat. Yeah, and he's nice guy, really knowledgeable. You know, I'm gonna go back to see. So I have a bit of flagelitus and it comes from there's a band from the ball of your foot back to your heel and if it's stretches too far doing it, he asked me, was I working out? And I said, yeah, if you stretch it too far, it like snaps, snaps the rubber band and so it's like pulled apart. And he says, the only way to fix it is you gotta ice it. I want you to start wearing like support shoes like New Balance or a c S A stuff I ain't got, you know. And so I'm don war. I had on some Jordan's metal flops and I told him they actually make my He said, no, you need more support than that. I said, but these feel absolutely great when I walk in. So I said, I got him on right now, right, And so he said all you can, you know, expertite it and get a quicker fix. You can take cortizon shot this needles. So and they put it in your heel and then the cortizon is in the needle. So he says, now it's gonna feel like a beasting. That doctor tell you a beasting, you know, beasting. So he pushes this needle in my heel and oh my god, I went, oh man, And he says, hanging out. He said, yeah, but I can't. So he says, he says, now this because I can handle that with the bestead. He said, Now this is the part where it gets a little bit excruciated. I'm gonna inject the cortizone into the heel and it's gonna take about sixty seconds. I'm gonna have to put it in there about four different times, and it's going to be a little, a little very painful just hanging it. And man, when the doctor tells you that, yeah, and I saw him push down on that needle, and man, that dog on cortizone went in there, and lord ha mercy, it was like fire. It was like fire going into your heel. And then he stops injecting it and it calms down a little bit. Then he goes, Okay, we gotta do another one, and I'm going so he shoots another burst of fire to my heel. He did this four times. He said, this is the last one. And man, my palms of my hands was dripping wet. My unarms were wet, and beads of sweat was just on top of my ball head because when I getting hot, you know, like pets, and I started sweating what I was in there having trouble when I got my foot out of his hand. Now he had my foot in the first time he shot it in there. We almost lost the doctor because I damn kick. I came to kissing. Yeah, chill, and man's let me tell you something. I kid you not. In all of my life, I've never had a shot like that in my life. I've never had looked bad. I've had a needle in my eyeball from flashing. When I worked in form on. The company had to scrape this little piece of melie got stuck in my eye and they shot me in the eye with a needle. That took thirty minutes for me to not blink. That took thirty minutes for that to happen. So but but it did. But as soon as they touch your eye with the needle, it immediately numbs. That didn't happen with the foot. It was don't ever get a quarters on shot you. I gotta go, We gotta go, we gotta go. We'll be back. You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, here we go. This segment is called things you say to yourself to keep you from slapping the beep out of someone anyway. See, you need you need to know things that can calm your nerves. See that's what a lot of people don't know. You need calm. And now all this ain't for everybody, but I'm sure out of the ten or soda that I'm gonna list, you can come up with something that fits you. These are just I'm gonna just give you some little woo saw moments that you can kind of say to yourself to cleep from slapping the sugar hunt the iced tea out of somebody down your damn job. He'll be walking to These are some things you can say to yourself to just keep you from slapping them and then losing your job. You're just go down the list created you say these to yourself. I got two kids in college. Yeah, you need that, keep you kids, keep your job. Here, got another one right here. Already got two strikes on my three for life. Here's nothering you can use right here. Oh I just got this job. Yeah, I just got to I gotta work for eight months. I just got this job. But he got about one more time. Say something on and I'm gonna slap to sugar honey. But I just got the joe. Yeah. Oh, I'm closer with tim, and I ain't. I got one more year in this play. In one year, you're gonna get a pension. Turkey. Go watch just hanging there, man, nothing watch the turkey. Here's another one right here. Let it go from frozen. Let here go another one right here for a lot of y'all. And I'm gonna just go and sit in my car smoker joint. I'm gonna just go sit in my car smoking everywhere. I know it's not legal, but you're just trying to keep your job, trying to make sure because I tell you what ain't legal. If you slap the sugar honey, iced tea scares me every time you say every time, yeah, come on, just sing a song to yourself, or you can just try to nothing but the blood the blood a man, or just make up youself. Hold my hands, put them deep into my pocket, my hand, put them deep into my pocket. My hand put them deep into my pockets. For slap the sugar honey tea out of the same melody as do you know the butterfly? But I like it? Yeah, here's the one to keep you from slapping the sugar honey iced t out. Lord knows, I can't go back to jail. I can't go back to jail. I just couldn't stand it down. Now, I just couldn't not stand it down. Lord, I can't go back to jail. Oh, but I want to do something. I beat and done something. I'm sorry you on the show, but I can't go back to jail. Or realization there you saying. So those are things that you can use on your job. You can say to yourself, if you from slapping the sugar honey iced tea, how your co workers just use them? Let it go all right. A bear takes an suv and leaves calling card. Bear caused a lot of chaos by breaking into an suv. Not only did the bear get into the vehicle, but he drove it until it crashed into a neighbor's mailbox. As a bonus, he ripped out the radio and the steering wheel, drub the back window, and trashed the interior. All of this happened in minutes, and last but not least, the bear pooped. Not by accident, family, he purpose. He look, he had been coming down there for a couple of years, eating out the trailer. Then they're gonna get a bad lock put on. They've been coming down two years, come down for dinner eating. They're gonna put a bad lock on their trail. Man, he just gonna they're gonna close a restaurant. Don't notify him. Said, I'll tell you what. I'm gonna breaking this damn truck. Yeah, I'm gonna tell the radio to stay. I'm gonna rip up all the cushions, I'm gonna break all the windows in it, and I leave. Yeah, honey, ice tea, y'all over the ladies and gentlemen. I've just been a great day. We'll see you this weekend. Have a great weekend. My day always look forward to. You're small minded, thinking people, A little for all. Steve Harvey contests, no purchase necessary, void where prohibited. Participants must be legal US residents at least eighteen years old, unless otherwise stated. For a complete intest Rules Physics, Steve Harvey dot com. You're listening to The Steve Harvey Morning showm