Hall Passes, Weirdest Thing, Cutoff Age, MTH, Comedy Roulette, Longest SBL, Closing Remarks and more.

Published Jan 1, 2019, 3:45 PM

Welcome to 2019! We open the show with hall pass talk. What is the weirdest thing ever done that got you caught red handed? There is always a cutoff age that tells you that you are doing too much. Fool #2 murders another one in the spirit of Uncle Charlie. Comedy Roulette returns and money is involved. Are you ready for the longest Strawberry Letter EVER? The CEO tells us in Closing Remarks not to worry about the "how to" because it is not our business and much more.

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Y'all know what time to ya. I don't know. Y'all back a suit, looking back to back down, giving them more like the milling buck things in its cubbing me through good It be Steve hastening to the movie to other ste Please, I don't join joining you doing me. You gotta turn hur you gotta turn to turn them out. Turn got the turnout, then turn the water the water go. Come come on your fat h huh, I shr will good morning everybody. You're listening to the voice. Come on dig me now, one and only Steve Harvey got a radio show. Okay. I want to share something with you that I had to come to the realization one time, and even in the reinvention of myself right now, I've had to come to that and I want to share it with you today. Give it to you. I want to tell you about something that a lot of people do in their life and I want you to be aware of it. Here it is, don't get stuck on yourself. You could be wrong. You know I said don't get stuck on yourself. You could be wrong. You know the reason I'm saying this is because people have a tendency to once they make a decision about something, or once they decide to go a certain path, they go against all everything, anything anybody says, anything anybody might do, any other ruling they may come across. They shun advice, they don't listen to counsel. They just I made the decision. I'm gonna do it anyway. Don't get stuck on yourself. You could be wrong, you know. Now here's a sure fire way to tell if you're wrong. If you don't see any movement in the direction you've chosen, if you don't see anything going right in that decision, if you feel as though you're interrupt if the wall you're climbing seems so insurmountable that you ain't even moving an inch, and every time you turn around you keep getting knocked by down, knocked back down. Don't get stuck on yourself. You know you could be wrong. You know. See, that's why it's important for people to always be open to the reinvention of yourself. You know, you cannot be afraid to reinvent yourself. In other words, you can't be afraid to change. Change is necessary when it comes to growth. There is no growth without change. You cannot grow and never change. I'm sorry. It's it's like from the time you're born, you are constantly growing. But in that growth, have you not noticed you have constantly change. The more you know, oh, listen to this, The more you know, the older you look. Sorry, sorry, but there is no growth without change. And I have found this to be true. And the case the more you know, the older you look. Now you can do drugs and and and and and kill both them theories because you can do drugs and not know nothing and look real old. So you know there's a way around it. But I'm talking about if you're spending your life trying to make something out yourself, that is no growth without change. You cannot be afraid to reinvent yourself. So don't get stuck on yourself, because you could be wrong. You know, if you're heading in a direction, it ain't nothing going right in your life. Could it be the wrong direction? If you're climbing and you're making no headway, could it be the wrong direction? Could you have possibly made the wrong choice. Don't get stuck on yourself because you never made the wrong stuff. It's okay to forgive yourself. It's okay to let yourself off the hook. It's even smarter sometimes to admit that you were wrong. You ever met somebody ain't ever wrong. Have you ever met somebody you talk to, They ain't ever wrong about nothing. Man, They just it's their way or the highway. It's this is my way, this is the I know people like that, stuck on them powered trips and all like that. You know what I had to learn how to do. I had to learn how to let them go on them power trips. But listen to this. Though you're not taking me on that trip. Though you're going on that trip by yourself, I'm going in the right direction. I've decided to stop the way. Okay, listen to this person. This person. I decided to stop doing business the way I was doing business. I decided to stop to allow business being done around me the way business was being done around me. You know what, you know, the best decision I made was to allow for God to have some say so and to offer me his direction. I have found him to be a better driver than anyone else I know. I have found him to know more about the man he made than anybody else who's merely associating with me. I have found it to be a fact that my maker knows more about the vehicle he created than does anybody else. If you if your Chevy break don't you take it to Chevy. You don't take your Forward when it break down to a Toyota dealership. They not gonna know everything that the Forward dealership would know about the vehicle. You know why because they're not the maker of it. So now, why are you letting? You letting your life being led, controlled and guided by somebody other than your maker. I'm just asking you to let's all take a common sense look at this. So if going to your maker's the best way, the best decision I made in my business was take over my brand myself and to allow the maker of this brand. See without God, I'm none of this. I'm none of this. I want you to clearly understand I ain't none of this without him. I wish I could have the guts to reach back there and pat myself on the back for what I've accomplished in my life. I wish I had the guts. I wish the nerve of me because I know for or fact that there is no way that I could have manufacted the life that I have. I could not even have thought of it. It's no way I could have told you that this was the route I was gonna take and this is the outcome because of it. I had no idea, no clue. The one thing I had, though, was an unshakable faith in God. I had an I just kept believing in him. I kept believing that he had something more for me. And then when I touched base with him and asked him to show me what it is what he had for me, tada, the magic show began. Because you know what he did. He took all my natural abilities that he had given to me, This gift that he gave me, that he poured into me at birth, that same gift that he poured into you at birth. The moment you go to him and let him show you that gift, and then guess what. Once he takes what he naturally put in you and put his super his superpowers on top of that, then you have some supernatural things going on in your life and you may not be feeling me. I'm cool with that, but I didn't have some supernatural things happen to me. Every day I wake up some supernatural the man, the rewards of my life, the awards of my life, the accomplishments, the how I'm working, the how I manage it all, all that ain't none but God. That ain't nothing but God. You can't even explain this schedule to people. Sometimes when people ask me, Steve, how do you do it? I go, well, it's what I manage my time. Then at the end of when I get through, I say, hey, man, you know what I need to tell y'all for real, it's God. I don't really know, but I'm letting him manage me. So he handling it. He ain't gonna put no more of me than I can bear. Listen to me, y'all, don't be afraid to reinvent yourself and remember this. Don't get stuck on yourself because you could be wrong. You know, you absolutely could be wrong. If you don't tie this to your gift, you will be struggling the rest of your life. You're listening to show, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, gentlemen and ladies, volsewagons and the crowns Man. Have your undivided attention, please, Today's show is going to be one where I am committed to making several verbal eras intentionally. Yeah, I'm just gonna bring it and y'all deal with it. Welcome to dis HILP Morning Show. Good morning. You wouldn't hear yesterday, I know. So now we know the monitor, hall monitors, back pass pass. Stop running in the hall. Do you have a hall fack? You know? Goodt here? Well, I ain't got no hardas and everyone I had stole one first of all, Good morning, call it morning crew. Sorry about that, Junior, Jake and Tommy. I stole out the administrative office one time. A stack of hall pass. Oh really, oh boy, I had a nice pis. I had a sell Hapa. You were making money off hall pass? Yeah, I sold them out my luck. But then you were hiding what you mean hall pass free show? A teen got to give you a hall pass for you to be out in the hallway wandering around. Now, if you just want to wander around where your hallpack teachers and teacher Joe let you walk out in the hall. So they paid. So you made people pay you to get a pass. Yeah, a dollar or a sandwich dollar or a sandwich, a sandwich or like if you was going down the dippers, you had to bring me a corn dog or some wayne. So I just hustle no one knew that you were doing this. The teachers. Let me ask up, who's gonna tell it? But you can't do after you get busted with the Hall pass, it's tell them you bought it from me. Now your ass really in trouble with you when you were hustling hall pass. I was in high school, wow, sixteen seventeen, So it was not I had a whole stack them because you just tore him off at the top. I had a whole stack on them. Would you sign them? He caught? No, Hell no, I can't. Right, I'm just giving you the Hall pass. You gonna put wherever you need on that. I don't know your teaching class. I don't know your teacher. Everybody had them, so no, no one thought that was unusual that all these students had Hall passes. I ain't telling them just anybody. You had to be, you know, of a certain element. You know, I had to know that you had, you know, like a background that can handle keep it on the lolo right right, listen, you know crazy type of background where if I know you got busted, you just took it. You are gonna put my name in? Yeah? You could? You know, I didn't never cut dog. I cut class my whole time I was in school. I cut class twice whole time I was in I would school man. But the stuff that you I didn't know nothing. I went there. I had perfect attendents, all kinds of stuff. Yeah, all right, listen, at least get perfect attendance. I'm not going to be on the honor roll or nothing like that. We'll be back at thirty two. After you're listening, it is time for something funny now, Steve, I wanted to ask you and the guys as well, what's the weirdest or the craziest thing you were caught doing red handed? Something you know you weren't supposed to do, but it was crazy though. Maybe it was something you were looking up online, or maybe it was an embarrassing moment in the bathroom. You told us about when you were a chess at your girlfriend's house one time and you had a real bad explosion. Uh so, anything something that happened during you know, on the job. I'm done anything. I mean, which one you want? Red handed? Busk it? You want the risk? Everybody down. I've heard all these statements in my life. Right there, put your chats, you hands up, Yeah, I've had all which one you want something funny? Sheldy won none of them. Funny. Getting busted just ain't funny. Right. Have you been caught button Nick? Have you been caught button Nick? No, it ain't not been caught button Nike. That's our story, Tom, huh. Well, you know I want it. Well, I tell you what I will. You know, but I wanted to get caught. What do you mean. I was at the girls house for a time. She was at work, and I told her I was gonna cook for when she came in. So I got over to the house and set it all up and I cooked everything. I cooked pretty good. You know, I was young, and I was young dude then. So she had a duplex townhouse, the kitchen, living room downstairs, two bed rumors upstairs, and uh, I decided to go on upstairs away for you know, I hadn't done all this cooking all afternoon, so I just had a trail of clothes all the way up the steps. Come on, I'm under the cover, nicked, okay, looking like new money shower. Yeah, I got so much baby all on me. This was before I knew how to handle baby all. I had so much baby all on me. I don't ruin us sheets. Yeah, all in my hell. I had excess, man, baby, I didn't know what I was doing then, and uh, she was picking up the clothes coming up step, laughing, you're so crazy. Oh you're so gay. You know what I had, you know, one sock, then another sock, you know belt, you know drawl, you know shure, just half all that placed up the step, and last thing was a drawl. Yeah. She got up there and I snatched the covers off. I'm butt niked, but I got so much all on me. All she said was, oh my god, look at my sheets. I said, your ship. You talking about your sheath foak, but you need to wear about rhyme with sheet. But that's I don't know what you're talking about. Look at all the sheet. She was so mad because I had baby all on the sheet. She missed a yeah, the whole damn part. Oh man, So what ended up happening, not a damn thing. She mad real attitude too about her sheet. Some sheets. So I got up you know, no hell no, just reglass cotton sheet. Now I'm going down. I gotta collect all my stuff all the way back down. Eat damn still Ain't this about nothing. I'm putting stuff on on the stand ways. So when I got to the bottom, I was fully dressed. Yeah, because I took the stuff off strategically, so I just put it back on the same way. I got my drawls yeah, yeah, some parts, my shirt, yeah, my socks, my shoe. By the time I got to the bottom, I just got on dress on on, got my car with on. Hell you laugh, yeah, I want You're nothing to do is be mad at me all this damn test. What happened to me and the spaghetti and the salad in the frigerator? Gotta know you got you put on your clothes and got in your car and went home. What happened the next day? No, no, ain't you doing a talk for a while? Okay? Then she called me, She said, so I ain't heard from you. You ain't heard from you, now you know? She called my partner, I ain't heard from you, because you know, I hate to tell y'all this what no salp on him back. I ain't heard from you, I said, where. Ain't what you want to hear from me? I spent all that time cooking you a meal. All you complained about the sh I'm sorry. Nah here, I'm sorry nothing. I see how you are, see your ass crazy. I ain't gonna get involved with you. So that was it? Yeah, yeah it never would nowhere did you buy your some of your sheets? Buy her some shots? Wash them? Hey? What number? Baby on? Agree hard to get out? Yeah it get now that dog if they bad sheets? But you complain you missed the point. Skip, thank you for cooking the meal. All this hit none of that? You know? She laughing up the steps at the clothes. But get up there and that she she hit a switch so hard she just that. Damn man about this baby all on the sheet. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what I ain't gonna stop doing. I ain't gonna stop using baby on prose. I'll peck you that I might be a little crew or a little rookie at it now because I'm twenty one, But I tell you what I'm loving how to work, get yell, that's sixty one. I am a baby all specially, I'm a boss baby or be old ass baby baby all special? Something about you and baby ord he just he did I tell you about the time Carl I had to come get him. He didn't slip the fails he butt naked in baby Wait what No, you didn't tell her? Oh my god, Steve, you didn't mention this at all. Tell him about the time I had to come get you. You You didn't call because you failed and you said you in a pudd little baby ball. But nigga tell him about that point. So you saw him but naked Tommy, I didn't call him. I hauled out. We gotta go. Okay, adn't nobody call him? He came over coming up coming up next. Let's run that frank back more ignorance from this ignorant show. Right after this, you're listening to Steve Morning Show. Right now, it's time for a nephew. Tommy would run that prank back new Your son is fat boy? Your son is fat Yeah, that's like, hey, hey, what what what boy caught him? Your son of fat Floyd that night we're marching on these brakes as your son and fat running kat Hello, Hello, I'm trying to reach Kathy please, this is her. Hi, Kathy, this is Kirby. I'm actually the the owner at the daycare for mine's daycare where your son comes. Okay, all right, I'm sure you're familiar with my wife Anita. Yes, sir, all right, how are you doing today? I'm good. Oh, how's a little little divine? How's he doing? He's good. He's laying down taking a nap. Okay, you guys been coming here. I guess about a year now, right, yah, since he was one. Okay, listen, I wanted to give you a call. I'm looking at some some informations I was I was Divine doing at home? Is he? Is he eating properly at home? When you say eating, what do you mean? I mean? Is he getting U meals every time he's supposed to get them while he's at home? Yeah? He he's doing pretty good. Okay, Now there's there's there's no situation where you guys may be a shortage of food or anything like that. Are you uh, as short as the food? No, sir, My husband works real good. We don't have a problem with as short as the food. Is there a problem with him? Well, you know we're looking at the records and look Levinus too, Yes, sir, have you looked at the comparison of two year olds? The majority of two year olds and in comparison to I guess I should say size in comparison to the bond side. You mean like in body way body size. Yeah, I mean he's a little tall. You know, he wasn't a small chat when he's borne, he was ten pounds. But no, he's on the scale of right where he should be. He's just a little you know, taller because his daddy is tall. But he's doing okay. So you you're you don't think he's anywhere in the in the ballpark of of of of obesity at two? You mean fat? I mean I didn't want to be blunt, but but but miss Cathy, you're I mean, I mean your sons. Let me just say on the side day, I'm relaxing and we're talking about you think my son is a little overweight or what he's what's the problem? Well, I mean I think he's fat, you know, and and the problem I'm gonna think I'm noticing the records of everything as wait wait, wait, wait, we need to back up to you think he's sat I've never spoken to you, mister Kirby. Is that what she said? My name is Kirby. Okay, So every morning that I dropped him off for a year and I give my daycare money, Miss Benita has never said anything about his eating habits. So you're telling me that you think my son is sat with him. You deal with him on a daily basis. I don't deal with him on a daily basis. What I'm looking at as records that are showing me that he's eating way more than the rest of anybody at the daycare. And not only that, he's drinking probably a gallon of milk a day, a gallon the milk. Y'all only get snacks two times a day, and he's there only for breakfast and lunch. And how in the hell is he drinking a gallon of milk? And if he is, but all I know is this, No, No, I'm blown away by this because you calling me on a Sunday, calling my damn child fat. That's the problem. And your wife has never said a damn thing. Never has she said one thing to me in a year when she collected my damn daycare money. She ain't said my son is eating y'all at a house at home. Okay, Well, you know, my wife's a different person and she tries to be cordial with everyone. He's the one who deals with me, mister Kirby. I've never met you, never met you, especially all of a Sunday. The reason why I'm calling you on a Sunday, ma'am, is that I know tomorrow if you're gonna be trying to drop your son off, I am gonna drop him off. I am. No, no, no, that's that's kind of the reason why I'm calling you. Now here's where we knew that either you can keep him at home. No, I'm not keeping him at home. My husband works and I work. I'm dropping my damn son off at six thirty like I do every morning. Okay, man listening, if we can't get him, if you really want to get this, Nita on the side, because obviously you ain't the one that need to be talking to me, because if you're not there every day, and I did with your wife, I'm telling you that your son is too big to be is coming every morning, if that's the case, and if he's eating at a house at home, I'll send him some extra, But what I pay my money for is what you're gonna feed him for two full milks and two snacks, and if he needs extra, I'll put some in his bag. But he's drinking a gallon of milk a day. Are you looking there? I don't care. There's no way possible that he can drink a gallon of milk a day. Ya. Here's here's here's the deal. I don't want you to have to stop bringing your son now, and I'm not and I'm not. Here's my second alternative. I will put him on a diet. Okay, I'll give him an apple in the day. You ain't, No, damn you ain't. Are you from the health food program? No? I will. I will give him an apple and a glass of water in the morning, and I'll give him an apple and a glass of water in the evening, and then you guys can feed him when he gets home. You must be certified in the food program, especially if you're sitting the pre telling me, my damn son is going on a diet and he's not drinking no water and no apple. He needs a full snack. If other kids is having an apple and water, then that's that you better be serving him. But if that ain't the case, in hell, no, he better get the full snack. So if that's graham crackers and apple juice, well damn it, that's what my son better be getting. And if he won't astra he better get it. Listen, all I'm trying to tell you is your son drink two money drink Oh whoa, whoa, whoa. You need to back at the top. I know you did not cussing me. I know you're ready to cut to me. Let me tell you what say. You ain't got to worry about it. We don't have nothing else to talking about. My husband, me, your wife, and everybody that works at damn daycare better be there in the morning, because that's six thirty. We gonna be there, and my son he's coming all week, and he gonna eat all week. If he want two gallons of milk, he gonna drink it. If he want two plates of food, he gonna get it. Because I tell you what, we saved them good money to come to that daycare. So then up there, I'm gonna have to put him on some swim pass. I'm will put your child on swim fast. I was trying not to get him to be subspected, but I will ask give him some slim fasting. You're gonna get a slim fast shipping. I'm gonna whop y'all that whoever gave it to him, whoever gave it to him, they gonna get a slim fass shipping. All the little kids would have some slimp fass. If he getting some, he better eat whatever they eat. And if they eat steak with damn it, he better have some too. If we had steak, he'd probably eat the whole damn cow he eatn't care I pay for it, but he been like getting a slim fast. I will shut it down about my child. Okay, I got something else you need to know about your son? What the else do I need to know? Besides you think my son is overweight? What the elf can you tell me today? I need to tell you this. I need to tell you that. This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Your girlfriend Lucretia got me to prank phone call you. What the did you just say? What did you just say? This is Nephew Timmy from the Steve Harvey Morning So, your girlfriend Lucretia got me to frank phone call with you. I'm gonna be said to that. She No, I don't play about my damn son at all. That's my only son. I don't play about him. I'm gonna be that is she there? It's on after this, It's just all. It is all. I got one more thing. I gotta ask you, baby, what is what is the baddest that, I mean, the baddest radio show in the land to Steve Harvey Morning Show. I wouldn't It's all. I hope you can hear me wherever you at last, you're listening to Steve. Jay is here with things that have a cutoff age? Jay explain, well, well, Steve actually has it is the things Sherley and everybody. There's a cutoff age to everything everything you do. Some people some people will just ignore it and just keep doing it. But like, come on, this should have a cut off point. The name name. If you over, we don't even look out there and see you doing the name name or the whip or the name name. And you fought it really thirty five? Thirty three? Yeah, thirty three you asked stopped doing the whip and the name name. Here's what you can't do if you over thirty five, you cannot go see the me goals before. Man, can't. You can listen to them, you can't, but you gotta take your keys. Somebody child with you just went way too old. Way too old. People sitting there whom here's something that has a cut off age, and we don't have to cut off age. But just listen to this. You cannot wear crop tops if you have a muffin top man, woman, sh that's cut off too short? Like you EXECI Elliott, Well you're not like it. Just a little muffin, you can't do it. I don't mind a little muffin on the woman, but on the name. Man. Dude, dude, If you over twenty five, you've got to stop using the word lick. If you over twenty five, yes, Shirley, got to stop you using the word litt of the day set. If you all fifty five, you're still using the word cop asthetic. Everything that's cop asthetic. Man, oh man, that's cop asthetic. You need to come on out, come on. If you four years old and you're in a stroller with your legs crossed and you can pull yourself along in the stroller, who else needs to be walking? Something for the babies? Everybody his one. If you're over eighty with a walker, and it's got to come, hold a fanny pat, place a hole of newspaper, tennis all for grip. Damn it. You gotta take something off too much over Farty and people are still considering you ratchet. You're not ratchet, You're actually stupid. A man over Farty with two chains and his name is not two chained on the outside. You are fifty and still wearing any form of nugget jewel nuggets? What about the set? Nugget set, here's one, Monica Sherlly, I feel all the far to five huh each finger nail can't be a different company. They've been doing it whatever. You all don't know. We might not know. We know that, but let me tell you this though, Don who's in charge of all of our social media are digital programming and all of that. When you mentioned nuggets, she looked over like all she could think it was like chicken McNuggets you were talking about yeah, nugget. Watch She's like nuggets, Yeah, nuggets are still at She thought you were talking about it McDonald. Oh, no, nugget the nuggets set. Let me see which one was my favorite. It was between the Migo's party and Muffin Top Crop. Yeah, I like years old, still in the stroller, like, yeah, you got your leg crossed. Somebody get you don't get the walking. So Steve, I got a question. So I can't say, let what's the cut off age? Cut off ages? Uh, thirty five over thirty five? You know what? You can't say, Jane? What Trump? Oh you can't see Trump? Remember Trump? Or that's up there with Turkey. Yeah, we couldn't say monk with I couldn't say what monk with? Don't be monking with me? Don't mean oh around? Oh yeah, say that. I'm going to see the meg see see to me, go t junior to me though, take somebody, junior? What about doing watching what you say? You're sitting in there looking over your glasses like old lady watching the me go over going, ain't don't don't go down to embarrass yourself. Do that? Y'all ever seen Monica look over class looking at me? But but but with a foam dress on and some pumps with an ankle strap. Yeah, but with a little kitty kitty here on. You cannot go see the meeting? We got cut off age. Yeah, everything's having cut definitely, definitely all right. We'll be back with more of a Steve Harvey Morning Show. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, Steve j is here to murder. Come on, introduce some please. We got a fresh one for you today, Steve, I don't thank Shirley if you're coming up with the concept of us. This Charlie Wilson song. Now, his song is blessed. It's about blessed. It's about being thankful for what you got. My song a little different. It's about being stressed. There's a lot of stressful situations out there. You just got out of one, just got out of one. So here we go. This is stress, not blessed. Steve Harvey money show man. I'm just a bundle of bad nerves. Man. I'm shaking all the time. If you give me a glass of milk, man, I give you butter back. That's how much I'm shaking. Man. I don't want it going nowhere, staying the house all the time. I ain't take packings in mail. No, you don't know. The people's scary. I don't stand in the yard. God ain't away, but I might do Sunday slaying by my side. Damn might just keep fighting on the freeway. Crazy me and the scream. I don't bother my God enough on my place. I'm afraid to be laid. I know I might give a better, so I get to get by drinking, and I can't any night. So we've been looking. Man, you see me cry because I ain't got nothing but better love has me all I'm doing. I'm stressed. Yes, I put the letter D in the word deep press. I always have a throbbing in my hole. Yes I'm stressed. Yes, I'm stressed. Yes, don't let me, I'm doing. I'm a mess. Yes, my side piece, past to preternity. Jest you never see a smell up on my face. Yes, I'm stressed. Yes, I'm stressed. Yes, it's me I'm doing. I'm stressed. Yes, I put the letter D in the word deep press. I always have a throbbing in my hole. Yes I'm stressed. Yes, I'm stressed. Yes, don't let me, I'm doing. I'm a mess. Yes, my side piece past to preternity. Jest you never see a smell up on my face? Yes, I'm baby. How we do it? That is how we do it? Stress? Is that a car wreck? Car crack? Keep it thriving in my ship, and it was give me a glass of milk. I'm singing, but I love it. That was great, all right, more of this crazy ignorant show. Steve Harvey Morning Show. Right after this, you're listening to stew All right, it is time now for comedy roulette. Steve Jay, please please quickly set this. Every week our comedy ability is tested in the way we prove how good we are. Put five subjects on the wheel, spinning wheel were stop. We got it. That's all it is. That's all it comed to roulette. What you all right? Here are the five subjects. Number one, fish grease. Number two, she wasn't that big in high school. I don't appreciate that one, okay. Number three taste like chicken. Number four. Now that I have a little money, you know who I am? Yeah, And number five, I don't know how you could eat that? Give me that right ahead, alright ahead, already, all right, let's go spend the wheel. Cats come on, fish grease. Oh h Now that I have a little money, you know who I am? Let me have that. Let me start when I see back in the day, my nickname was fish diet nobody no fish speak the fish. You was too fine to speak to fish. But now that fishes on eavy hat fish? How you doing? Fish? And I can't remember who you are, what you got time? I was out of my league. I was way out of my league. You would drop dead fine to me, I beg forward, won'ted it. I used to ask for a day and night. You never gave me the time of day. But now now got a little money. Come on the Steve Harvard Morty show. You're texting me now? I can't have it. If I want it, I don't want it now. I don't want it. Yeah, any time, come on, joy, you know whatnot? I got a little money. You know who know my name? Now? Be collector? Who they talking to now? But if they don't even call me by my real name, that's how I know they know I got money. Let's excuse me as junior and Junior that ain't my good name. Everybody knows that. Well, it's right up my alley. Nah, I got the little money. Yeah, you know who I am? Na. Yeah, this goes out to Ike back in Cleveland and mister Albert's means yeah, I used to call me el Kate lay Away Ken Nah. But and I I'm buy your whole damn stone. So the next time I walk in, I ain't coming in law feel me. Yeah, I'm like Brydel, What are you doing? Hey all, let me put an initial out there with the last name, just the initial and the last name. You know who you are, the last name white. You are so fine, Oh my god, you were fine. Did not even speak to me in the hall way. I walked past you. I act like a slave because I ain't gonna look you. Now. He was that damn fine. But oh it is change. Nah, she's got a little money. Yeah, yeah, he's got a little money. Cold. I'll tell you where everybody know my name that Now I'm a lot more familiar and welcome. When I walk into though bank. Account used to sit on six dollars I had overdra But when I didn't notice though, when I go in the bank, now there's a whole nother room. It's got vegetables. Hit it wi, she's oh, when I'm going to Vegas, mister, space this away. You stand in Lyne. Come on around this way. Do you have your access card? Never mind? I have mad Oh you know I used to couldn't go to you that I didn't get invited to the big Christmas party because I just you know what I'm saying. I wasn't big enough. I didn't have a name enough. But now that I'm violing and I'm I'm on the show, and I'm the nephew. You got a little money in doing't the stand up? I don't want to go to your funky Christmas party. Now. I told my old damn Christmas party and my shot token. Y'all? All right, all right, we'll be back with Nephew Timmy's prank phone call right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, nephew, what you got time for the prank phone call? Shirleytte. It's time to baptize some people. It's called mobile baptismal pool mobile baptisma. We come to you, and you could be ignorant. You do come to your house and baptize. That's what we do. Hit it. Hello, Hello, I'm trying to reach a mister Wilson. It's just how you doing. My name is brother spring water Man. Listen. We uh we we we got paid to actually come by and do some services to uh for for you by some friends of yours, and we wanted to actually call and see about scheduling and see what you had available, uh some some services. Well, y'all plan on Clesson grad which I do. What kind of services you had? Actually, sir, you've got some friends that have actually spent a great amount of money on you. And what we do is um we have a baptismal on wheels, Servey. And what we do is we go and we um we baptize people at their home. And Baptismal Wheels has been it's a new um company, but we've we've baptized over a thousand people. Now we have a truck with it which actually has a baptismal pool on the back of it, and we actually come to your home and we will baptize you in your driveway and and make you hold again. So we hostess here, brother Water. Brother again, I'm sorry, I ain't freingwater, Brother Fringwater. What you want to come to my house and give me a baptism in my front yard? We want to baptize you right there in your drive where your friends are paid for the services. And my friend, what a friend will pay for me to get baptized? Man, I've been baptized, are already do well? From my understanding, sir that but then that you you had some some bumps and bruises and and and they seem to uh to believe that you need to be Washington coming. I mean, that's all good, that's all. That's all. It's all good. But I mean things are I mean think that it made man. I mean, I've been baptized, I go to church. You know, Uh, me and the Lord don't have no problems. I mean, we all have setbacks. But for you to pull up with your pool in front of my house to say you've been a baptize me that that doesn't make any sense to me. Doc I mean, sir, sometimes when some people are not able to go to the House of the Lord and get baptized, you know, we're making a lot more convenient for you. But we can actually need no convenience. I don't need no convenience. What I need convenience for you asking me to come to my house on a Tuesday, so that's tide me in my driveway. Does that make any sense to you? Brother water? I mean, come on, if you really sit back and think about it, does that make any sense to you? Further? First of all, so that's that's that's brother spring water. But what I'm trying to what I'm trying to say, the water is holy water, spring water. It doesn't make no difference to me. You can't come to my neighborhood and baptize me in front of my house. Sir, what is all that? This is? This is what your friends are talking about that don't give it? Then what my prayers are telling you? Man that anybody which which one of my friends, don't what to mean you to come to my damn out. So I'm I mean and I don't do that make that you don't even make any sense to me. You understand that I'm not I'm not at any liberty to tell you who actually between the liberties because of my dam house. Can't baptize me, but you can't tell me who the hell I'm gonna see you, but you're not there. What may call you don't even call that that makes sense for you. Don come on, that doesn't make any no way in the world. I'm gonna allow you to come and bring your phone in front of my house and baptize me. Then I'm asking you ask and you you suposed to be a pastor, you suposed to get baptized. I'm asking you, okay, what's a friend of mine is telling you to? You know, letting you know I need be done. You'll tell you how that liberty to all I want to know. Basically, I've already been paid. I'm coming to a chance. I'm baptizing me them baptime. I'm going to baptize you on Tuesday in your driveway. Man, I tell you, what did you come to my house in front of my driveway? You better bring the old congregation, you understand. You better bring the deacons, the brothers, the sisters and everybody. Ass you think how many bout ties of which is a problem. This is what your friends are talking about. This is why you need to be baptized and cleans it again and washed in the blood of the lamp. This is what's wrong. You need to be cleans That's what's wrong with you, mister Wilton. What's wrong with me? Now? What's wrong with two? Is called in the little my horse day telling me I need to be back top in front of my house. If I need to be backtip, don't get the only water I go down to the church. I don't need you come in front of my house making an old circas we are afraid of so white she's talking about to wring back after me from understanding I form my understanding. From my understanding, mister Wilson, you missed two Sundays already this month, sund this so man, I can't go anywhere and get the water. I don't need you coming here because you tell him I miss two damn Sundays. I'm gonna miss funding two because the feu ain't coming off, Sir. All I know is I've been paid to do a job. I will be there Tuesday morning at seven o'clock and we will baptize you before you go to work on two. Before you will I tell you what you cutting my aftern o'clock and morning. I swear on your lord, I'm gonna bust you. You understand me. You would not cutting my house telling me you would about to. I don't give a dam who paid you. You understand I was drying your award matter. Stop bringing you your teachers, anybody. We're gonna who brought you that, you understand. I get all of this anger and all of this, these problems you have within you. We are going to purge your body and get it out your system. I don't want your pleas to me. I tell you what I tell you what brother, spring water, Bring water you're gonna get baptized on Tuesday morning. I won't give a dam who pays you, who called you bringing you? I'm gonna I can't kill you. I'm gonna drying y'all side. I got one more thing I want to say to you. What you listening to God? That matter? I'm by You ain't got to say to me. I gotta go. You understand you ain't wrong. Little thing I want to say to you? Is you listening to me? Whatnot? This is nephew Tommy from the Steve Harby Morning. So you just got pranked by your boy Mason. Hello, man, let me check y'all something, man, let me tell you something boy, y'all y'all was about bring some man, I say, head man, I was about to act a fool on y'all because y'all about to show the boy crib. You understand me what time y'all ain't got that's better to do? Didn't sit around here and just with people during their day. Man, I ain't never thought y'all could give me with this. They who the hell goes around bapties of people away? That's like fiddles a will. Y'all baptized people with a pool on the back your f one fifty. I gotta ask you something. What is the baddest radio show in the land? Man? You know, it's the Steve Harvey Moran the show. See that's how you baptize somebody forget going to church now when they don't make it to the church around you know, we bring the baptistmal to you side out. That's actually a good idea. We're make the right da man. Yeah, we'll baptize you pot before you go to work in the morning. Yeah, and you get the save on. We get to save all right there, we cleanse you right there in the day. All we won't he do it? Yeah? He will and will he won't. No one can beat us. We have a leaders Hey. Hey, hey, you're listening to the Hot show because some talleted after show didn't want to be let us, but they just counterfeit. Junior got the people leaping in the a accident reality show. We cap with color cut. She is the endless Steve playing character so he can get three pay stuff. Rascal sound that he'd been going up my ear drum sister on the Olympic stapp and matching something EXTI let us give me a side. Listen in the A M. Garrett did to wake you up the neph you tim me you know something? One kicking punk, he'd be breaking people to the collar. Cut him bof someone will not find it funny. Then his life is now. My black ass just got hired, got your Crian at your appballs, But then the witch don your morning on a high note with number one on a radio. But we humble? Will I didn't mumble yes we humbled. I didn't mumble yes we humbled. M I didn't mumble we humbled. I didn't mumble yes, we humble. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show right now. It is time for the Strawberry Letter. People, And if you need some advice on relationships, if you need some advice on dating, on work, on sex, on parenting, and more, submit your Strawberry letter to Steve Harvey FM dot com and click submit Strawberry letter. All right, Steve, anything you want to add to that to encourage people to write us, No, I'm not trying, and then cares nobody write up? Are you not? We're not? No? Because I'm tired of you learn your own self. He'll help me, all right, Uh, we're buck buckle up hole on type. We got it for you here. It is the straw very subject. My sexy neighbor is stressing me out. Be quiet, Jay, Dear Stephen Shirley, You're not going to believe this. I'm a married man and my wife and I just purchased our first home in a new community. To celebrate home ownership, my boys took me out for drinks. We ended up going to a strip club and I got very drunk, which are two things I had not done since I got married. The strippers were some of the sexiest women I had ever seen, and we pay for our own private VIP area in the club. God, so we each had a dancer that catered to us all night. My dancer did all kinds of freaky stuff to me. We did everything except go all the way Right afterwards, when I sobered up, I was disappointed with myself and I swore to my boys that I would never go to another strip club. Well, fast forward to two weeks ago. My wife and I noticed a moving truck next door, so we decided that we should go over and meet our new neighbors. As soon as we started walking toward the house, my heart jumped into my throat. Steve. Oh, he singled you out, Steve. One of the strippers from the club was standing by the moving truck. I could tell she recognized me too, but she but she, but she, but she played it cool. My wife introduced us because I couldn't say much. The stripper told my wife that she is a single mom and her child's father bought her the house. She told my wife that she works as a dance instructor and that uh and then she and my wife exchange numbers. As we turned to head back to our house, the stripper neighbor smirked at me. I was sweating bullets. My wife thinks the neighbor is really cool, and it's planning to invite her to our housewarming party. Now what am I supposed to do? What? I think? I should just come clean and tell my wife what happened? What do you think? Help? All right? Well, um, congratulations on your new house. How about that? Um? And this is yeah? How about it? Yeah? All right, this is somewhat of a whole mess you've gotten yourself into. I mean, what are the odds that your favorite stripper who did all these freaky things to you? When you were drunk with your boys at a strip club. What are the odds of her moving right next door to you? I mean, really, this is unbelievable. And guess what, I don't trust you to know to do the right thing. I just don't. I don't, I don't. I don't trust you to know all this information and not want to go over there at some point and at or at the very least, can you just stop sweating bullets in front of her? Can you do that when she's around? Uh? Yeah, because your wife is getting real cozy with her. Your wife thinks she's cool. So your new neighbor, your favorite stripper, is going to be coming over to your house. They've exchanged numbers. They're going to be perfect neighbors, you know, girlfriends. It looks like, So either you get yourself together, brother, And I don't know how you're gonna do that, because she is your favorite stripper, and you remember all those freaky things she did to you at the club. You cannot go out again with your boys and get drunk and go to the strip club. You can't do that. And he's right next door. She's a dance and structor, Tommy, That's what she told his wife. You're you're in a mess, and um you you know, I know Steve's not gonna agree with me. You're gonna have to say something. You're gonna have to say something in terms of what. Yeah, you have to. It's not you have to. You gotta let your wife not because you can't hold it. He's gonna your wife is gonna find out anyway. You can't hold it. You may as well let your wife know something. You met her somewhere. You got to you got to what Steve your turn? What? Hey, man, I don't know this dude's name. Broca, you're a man. Bro Right in the middle of the answers, right in the middle of this letter, he says Steve, Steve. He's just talking to me. He just says Steven Sheley. But just the first time Shellley my name got put first. I think he's really just being cured. This letter really to me. Let me handle his man. Go ahead, go ahead, and Joe stupid ad open your mouth, boy, my sexy neighbor stressing me out. You're going into the truth matters to who the truth that already happened. It doesn't matter. It's time up for the truth now. It begins to cover up. You ain't got tavern no more. Truth. Truth is, your friends want to celebrate your new ownership. Your boys took you out for drinks. Now, instead of stopping it just drinks, you ended up going to a strip club. Now you ain't just drinking. Now you very drunk. First of all, you got to quit drinking. Listen to me, That's what my brother told me. Pad Ervin said to me. He say, once you feel something, you should immediately stop. The rest of it ain't in your blood system yet, he said, So if you continue to post something that Jesus the rules for drinking. Once you feel anything, you should stops. The rest of it ain't in your blood system. And if you post some moe in there, you're in trouble. That's the rule for drinking. So now he gotta quit. Then I'm gonna set this up and we're gonna go to break. We ended up going to the strip club. I got, which are two things I've not done since I got married. The strippers or some of the sexiest women I have ever seen. And we paid for our own private VIP area in the club. That's the best worsh move you can make. You got to get it private. But lord, I'm mercy, that's the best, worst move you can make. I tell y'all love it when we come back. But you ain't been going to tell her damn thing. You don't even like strip clubs. Hell no, all right, we'll have part two of Steve's response coming up at twenty three after the hour, subject of the Strawberry letter, my sexy neighbor is stressing me out. Right after this, you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, Steve, come on with part two of your response to today's Strawberry letter. My sexy neighbor is stressing me out. This man boys took him on them. Congratulations for buying a new home. Yeah. Yeah, they go out drinking. They ended up in a strip club where you continue to drink. Your answer, strong, y'all messed arounding go to the strip club, paid for your own private VIP area in the club. That's the best. That's the worst thing you can do. What goes on in there? Nothing? No, I'll tell you no, no, no, no, you won't know. Yeah, and then when I tell you do you see why he can't go? Tell hum? Let me tell we're going in there so everybody had a dancer that catered to us all night. My dancer, the one that was on him, did all kunds of freaking stuff to me. Sure when he say freaking stuff to me, he ain't lying. We did everything except go all the way. Do you understand me? Nobody did harub, bouncing, squeeze, bite fighting. That's all that's going down in there. We did everything except to go to all the way. Now, right afterwards, when I sobered up, I was disappointed in myself and I swore to my boys I would never go to another strip club. That's the good in him. He came back. But the shirt he woke to the strip club, he can't wear that one home. He had to stop by the boys house and get a clean shirt because that shirt trifle. She's been sliding all up and down on it. He got the glitter on it, just the shirt. Yeah, you gotta get to them shirts off them. Pants. You had to burn them. Them is in the trash. Can something tim damn pants got been burnt? Boy? Let me tell you something. Fast forward two weeks ago, my wife and I noticed a moving truck next door. We decided we go over and meet our new neighbors. Soon as we started walking towards the house, my heart jumped up in my throat. Steve, one of the strippers from the club, was standing by the moving truck. I be damn ill hem. No I could tell them. She recognized me too, but she played it cool. My wife introduced us because I couldn't say much. You was froze. You were stuck. The stripper told my wife she's a single mom and her child's father bought her the house. Strippers got plenty of money. She could be though. The father probably bought her the house helped her. But stripper got money. Dance instructor. Now, hey, turn your mica off. But y'all eating in the damn mica all out here is nuts. She no, I don't go good with this att Yeah, I could tell her. She introduced me. She recognized me too, She played it off. Mike couldn't say nothing. She said she's a single mom and her child father bought her the house. She told my wife that she works as a dance instructor, which she does. She dances and she instructs men to put money in her phone. She is true, your dance instructor. And then she and my wife exchange number. Now you're sitting there, gone, but what is huh seat. As we turned the head back to our house, the stripper neighbor smirked at me. I was sweating bullets. My wife thinks the neighbor is really cool and it's planning to invite her to our housewoman, Oh she coming? Oh the stripper coming. Because strippers don't get invited to house water or she comes. Strippers don't get it. Strippers never get to go to family events. Strippers down, Strippers don't turn down even back yard barbecue. Strippers in there going to plays to watch your baby if it ain't on strip night, stripper going never be in the funnel with the outfit on that damn this stage? Ready? Now what am I supposed to do? I think I should just come clean and tell my wife what happened. What do you think? Son? Let me explain something to you. Don't you take this information because I got to talk to him, like, keep my son, son. Don't you take this information in your house that is not in your house. You don't take bad news into the house. That's nothing good can come of this conversation. It's all bad. Your neighbor not now You can't ever look over there. You came back your car out and pointed in that direction. You can't wave, your kids, can't play with her kids nothing. Matter of fact, you must develop a hate for her, because your wife is gonna hate her if you go in here and tell her. Now, what strippers don't do is telle married women they strippers exactly. She's a dance instructor. She gonna be cool. She know always you as long as you don't go back down to that strip club, you cool. Do not go in here and tell your wife this ignorant ass information like Shirley has suggested, the dumbest damn thing you can do. He's not gonna be able to hold it. His wife is gonna find out anywhere how how Sirley, because he's sweating like bullets just meet just seeing her and it's just let and you don't think His wife say, baby, why are you sweating because I'm hot in the winter. What she can't find out is that this woman been sliding him down his shirt and grinding on him and doing bounce lap dances. Bouncing. It's time to go, but can we just carry this on? I have a few more questions for you because I mean, we're doing this from a male female perspective and a female perspective. Don't count him. Oh I think it does. She's his wife. I'm gonna do it from a player perspective. We'll be back with part three of today's Strawberry Letter right after this. You're listening show, okay, Steve, Uh listen? So why do you why? I mean, he has to be honest. At some point we're talking about today's Strawberry letter. The subject is my sexy neighbor is stressing me out? A married man wrote, And he and his wife just purchased a new home in a new community. He and his boys went out to celebrate. They went to a strip club. The husband got very, very very drunk. He bought a private room at the strip club with one stripper in particular, who did all sorts of freaky things to him, he said, And when he sobered up, he realized that he was very disappointed with himself, and he swore to his boys that he would never go to another strip club. Fast forward to two weeks ago, when a new neighbor moved in next to him, and who would think that it would be the stripper? But it was it was the same stripper that was doing all these freaky things to him in the club. So he and his wife went over to introduce themselves to the stripper, but he couldn't even say anything because he was so nervous and sweating. And so I think, you know, I don't think he's going to be able to hold it. I just don't. I think he's going to give himself away at some point. So I'm saying he may as well come clean with his wife and maybe not tell her all the details, but tell her something. And so, so, Steve, you disagree with that. We surely what could you possibly say that would be okay? Be? Yeah, and he talked to you for me, Okay, honey, let's talk. When we first moved in here, my boys took me out. Yeah, oh my god. Yeah, you guys went out to celebrate. Huh. Yeah we went to a strip club. Oh you did? Oh a strip club? Hello, right there? Right? Oh? A strip Wait? Wait, what what do you mean? A strip club? Strip club? Went a strip club? Okay, so you and your boys went just to celebrate. Some wives are okay with it? Yeah, So you guys went to a strip club and what happened. I'm sure nothing happened. So okay, what else happened? What else? You know? We were just up in there at the strip club, you know we we was just in a strip club drinking and stuff. Yeah it was crazy. Well yeah, I'm sure it was crazy because and did you drink? Because you know how you are when you drink. Surely I don't know what wife you're portraying. Some blods go to strip clubs with their husbands. Okay, I didn't say I didn't say me, and that still doesn't go either. But I didn't say me. Hold on, Carlin, yes you played a wife because well no, I'm not mad. It's just you're not being You're not what what not? Not very many? That's rare. You've been watching Instagram and you wrap videos out of touch? Go ahead ahead, I'm out of touch. Yeah, hey baby, Hey, hey, I just wanted to talk to you about something. What's up? Hey? You remember a couple of weeks ago when we was when we moved in and Fellas came by to celebrate with me and took me out. Uh huh. Well, well, you know, we went out to have some drinks and we ended up at a strip club. Okay, Okay, So y'all went to a strip club. So why are you bringing it up? Though? Well, see I'm listening. Okay, hold hold on, I'm gonna have another hood. You fired yourself. Well it's nothing, that's it's nothing to go off about. Yeah, you haven't said anything. You gotta keep going, okay, okay. And so so we went to your strip club. Okay, I'm just letting you know it. You know, it was it was it was you know, it was wild up. I was wilding a strip club. Okay, So how how wild did it get? Were you involved in the wildness where? Well, you know, the fellas got got the VIP room? Oh ya got a VP at the strip club? Yeah, what they did? I would just I was in there with him. Yeah, So what happens in the VIP room? How important were you? You know? I mean it's it's the VIP is very important people. So I'm asking about you in particular, though, How important were well they pay you individual attention and so how much attention did you get? Mister VP? I had my own stripper, You had your own stripper, and never what it is now, I'm just trying to tell it to you now, you want him to say, no, I said, don't tell him everything. You heard me say that. Go on, go on, where are y'all gonna let the conversation go at out to a strip club? Okay, thank you, Carlin, thank you very much. Now let me show y'all how they really go. Okay, baby, yeah, yeah, I want to talk to you for a minute. Okay, go ahead, right. You a couple of weeks ago when the fellas took me out, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We ended up going to a strip club, went to Oh that's irrelevant, magic strippers like naked strippers. You up in the strip club? Yeah? Magic? What what you're doing gonna up in strip club? Well, we went out there to celebrating. I'm not to know we Why was you in there? Man? Damn baby? All the fellas went you know, I was with him. All the fellas jump off the bridge. You gotta jump out the bridge too. Here his wife flash, mama, come on, yeah, come on, yeah, you know I was with him, So I just went on up in there. I'm just letting you know. Okay, you was in the strip club doing what doing they're doing? You know, just in there? You know, I don't know I wasn't chicken wings. I got fried brock. You go all the way to strip club just get chicken wing. Really, you pass the chicken place to go in there with a naked that to get chicken wing. I'm booble the food. Now, the chicken wings and a strip club so damn good they are no baby, but baby, baby, baby, you ought to go with me sometimes just to get I got chicken wings and freezing. I got chicken wings. What I'm trying to this is what I'm what I'm trying to tell you. Reason the vip ron mhmm. And the stripper that was my VP escort. You had your own stripper, Yeah, I have my own damn oh so damn The chicken awain't not now you you told me when they get chicken awain stepid fat. We're some mo. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Happy New Year. It is twenty nineteen. It's a new year, y'all. Were gonna get this thing started. The Steve Harvey Morning y'all. We appreciate you guys waking up to us every single morning. We love you guys. Happy New Year. We'll talk to you soon. All right. For some reason we cannot get off today's strawberry letter. We're already into part four because is my sexy neighbor is stressing me out? A married man and his wife just purchased a new house. The married man's boys took him out to celebrate, where they take him, of course, to a strip club. The husband ends up in a private room with this one particular stripper doing all kinds of freaky things to him. All right, He he sobers up, realizes that he was he was upset with himself for doing this, and he told his boys that he would never get drunk again. So fast forward to two weeks ago. Uh, this new community has a new neighbor. Turns out it's the stripper from the strip club, the new neighbor. Here we go with part four of the husband's husband and wife's conversation. I said he should tell some things because he can't hold it and he's not gonna be able to um keep it where it is. And so baby, okay, all right, okay, So you and that you eating chickens and chicken wings is so good in the strip club went in freezing. You didn't never ask me about no damn chicken away now you're gonna go down there with the strip ahead, finish a little story about how you going to neckt club and get chicken wings. Well, you know we was in the VIP room m hm. And you know I'm just trying to tell you let me sit down because I'm standing so I need to sit down and here this. Yeah, why is he telling you all that's too much? Shirley? How is that too much? When y'all ain't gonna leave it that I went to the strip club? Not too much? Not too much? Can't tell her everything too much? Now you shouldn't. Y'all gonna ask until you get everything. You can't leave it at Shirley is basically saying that he needs to go in there and said, your girl, that's the neighbor when I went to the strip club. Okay, that's what you're saying. Something baby, Remember that night we went out? Yeah, and uh me and the felt we went to a strip club. One of the strippers that's in the club. That's how has moved across the street. Well, why you didn't say you knew the lady when we went over there. Now I'm over in the house. We we was over there together. You didn't say. Now you act like you didn't know the damn lady y'all winking and blinking and and and and writing it down. I don't know. You don't know. You said that the lady from the strip club. That's what you told me. She was one of the strippers at the strip club. Does she know? You don't? I don't know you know? Huh yeah, I'm just told how come we didn't say that over there? Why we got to get back? Why you don't want her to know? I'm your wife? I'm bad, baby. I mean we went over there together. Yeah, you're my wife. But when she told you she was dancing, was giving me the own number, Why you didn't say, oh, I got it from the club. Why you didn't say that? Why I ain't got a number from the club. Oh you just know you didn't get a number? No him, No, why would I get a stripper? You'll go to the stripper club just to get chicken? Way she bumping and grinding, y'all, blinking and winking and everything. And now she go over there and introduced herself to me. That made me look stupid. No, I'm looking stupid, stepping No my husband, but damn baby, I ain't I high. No was hut when you walked over that pup y'all you knew that you the woman. You could have said something there, but you don't open your mouth. I walk all the way back off it. What's stripping? Name? Because? But what's the stripper's name? Glad up? He don't know name? How much money you spend? If you hammy, you can hit me how much money? It wasn't that much? You know, you know your neighbor. You know the Fellers paid for everything because they were celebrating. I don't know picking number out there, I don't know what it calls. Baby, you know VIP room, you know strippers? I don't know. You'll have no. I was about five six hundred. You Lord Jesus, Father, God, Lord Jesus, can we just bumped this house? Lord God give me the God we go the Lord, God Jesus, give me strip Father, things in your name about this Jesus, it wasn't your six hundred. You know how that hurts my spirit? Steve, Why don't you know how to You're standing over there with a strip of talking to the strip of you know, and you don't get a strip of five hundred dollars to help my move in. And know what she's gonna do with the money. I didn't. It's gonna move in a brand new damn card. That's your man, that's our money. No, baby, you can't buy no car, No five hundred dollars. You can't go toward it and go toward it and go toward toward toward it. Can I say something, Chris? You know what I've learned this whole situation which y'all just kept going and kept going shirley. It didn't even have to get that d No, you had to say, I'm gonna tell you nothing. Just as a woman. This girl that's the neighbor. I saw her at the strip club. So I'm just letting you know you might not want to be chit chatting it up with your girl and he over there because they're guilty and they start acting stupid. Cut this woman yard every Wednesday. See that's guilt. Yeah, far for show. Bring it up. It's just a lie. Ain't nobody got to know? Donna say nothing. Well, if he can't play at all, he does, we can't lay. What's the best way? The best way? He just said, you're not listening. I understand women are better. Yeah, because over there, the kids cannot go over there because the first day kid, I know your daddy when you tell your if you come home with that, and what if the stripper says something, then you really say none of you go with every winds into a neighborhood. The family people that didn't want to tell the women she is stripper, she's a dance instruct well, it depends on how the husband is at I don't think she's gonna say anything. I just feel like it's the husband's job to give his wife a heads up about not being buddy chums with the old girls had lap dance. If she is crazy enough to say something, you have already told your wife. So you want, let's go. Part five. This was the longest Strawberry Letter ever. We'll be back with more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show right after this. What Everybodn't Boy? Janity Brown for the JOD Comedy Club. Are you sick of people telling you what you need to do? Or here's another what you need to do? Check out the Jaspod Comedy Club in Los Angeles, California. Fifty five anyone wants spend Chester Avenue ten minutes away from the airport, right on the corner from the Big Donut each and every Tuesday and at for headliner Taco Tuesday. That's Tuesday. Jay Spot Comedy Club fifty five. Anyone was spent Chester Avenue, but tickets go to event right dot com. Jay Spot Comedy Club dot com. Watch out, damn uh morning, everybody. That's my best junior voice. You're listening to Steve Harvey Show. This is the strawberry letter that keeps on giving. Man, it really is. Subject. My sexy neighbor is stressing me out right there because he don't know how to feel that handle the truth. You're going to get busted. He can't handle it. That's all So a married man I feel like, I mean, yeah, this is what this trapped in the closet. Part five. Married man wrote us he and his wife just purchased a new house in the new community. He and his boys were his boys were before him, so they all went out to a strip club. He got drunk, very drunk, ended up buying a private room in the strip club with this one particular stripper who did all kinds of freaky things to him. He sobered up and realized that he was mad at himself, and he told his boys he would never get that drunk again. Fast forward two weeks ago. I told you it's a new community. So a new neighbor moved in right next door to them, and it turns out it's the stripper who was at the club doing all kinds of freaky things to him. Okay, anyway, So he and his wife went over to introduce themselves to the new stripper, I mean to the new neighbor who told his wife she was a dancing structor, and he was all nervous and he just doesn't know what to do. I said, before anything goes any further out of hand, tell his wife something. Steve says, absolutely no. Part five. Here we go. Now he had to part with. A lady is upset talking to her husband. Now, I'm gonna show you how how to get out of this. You over there talking to a stripper that you know that you knew, you knew before you went over there. I'm standing on the exchange. Yeah, baby, I don't know her. You don't know at all, not at all that she hadn't told you she met me at a strip club. I don't remember her at all. We was at the strip club. But I don't know her. Just friends, just friends. No, no, no, we ain't friends. I don't know her. You didn't recognize it when you went over there. It's dog in there. I'm stay in there. But you remember the five hundred dollars. You remember that. I remember the five hundred dollar because you asked me about how much of day spending. It wasn't now money. The fellas treated me because it was celebrating me getting a house. Over here, your money not a dollar mine. I still got all mine in the wallet. I left here with two fifty. Go go look. I'm gonna say this, and I'm only say this one time. I bet that catch you even looking over there. Oh I probably won't. I bet that catch you looking but probably Why would I look over that when I got anything I want. I'm just telling you that we cool. If I catch you looking over there, I'm not gonna look over that. I don't know this one. You might get hit by a car because you ain't gonna even look that way. Claud's coming. I just be hit by the carm you pull out, You just look the other way and keep driving. Let me catch you looking over that. Let me see it. Look at me when I'm done? Why would I glance? How did I glance? Baby? I told you I don't even remember the woman she told me about. She remembered me. I don't remember her. I just I said what I had said. You said what you had said. I'm leaving it that. I'm done when you do with it, So you're not gonna be looking over there no more? Right, we got that. I ain't looked over there yet. All right, okay, slip up and look, y'all need to move move around the corner here. You know they can't move alright. I don't know if we're coming back with a part six, but anyway, this is the longest Strawberry letter ever and it was a good one too. Today my sexy neighbor is stressing me out. We will be back with more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show right after this. You're listening Steve Show. All right, here we go. We are back. We cannot seem to get off this letter. We thought it was over, but here we are again. Podcast. We are very decisively divided this show between off the air y'all. The debate is raging every woman. Monica Shelley holla insists that it's best that this man tell her the truth so she don't get blind side. All of us are convinced that to ain't bad news into your house is the dumbest mistake you can make. Well, when she found out, well, when she found out, we'll deal with it. And yeah, you all just don't want to deal with the questions and all of that that you think is going to happen. That's and I say that he has to tell her because the wife exchange phone numbers with her. That's why. Ain't nobody tell her to do that? But it's done though, and they're gonna have and they're gonna have a housewarming party that she's going to invite the stripper neighbor too. So what okay dealing with You don't know that the stripper already smirked at him when they were leaving. Wife, that she's gonna she's, yeah, she's gonna see something. Why are we missing the blessing that she got a big, beautiful move next dough? Why are we avoiding this? Why are we not embracing it? I don't we the fence that divides I back y'alls Villa Villa gate, Right, there be to walk back and forth. Why are we missing out on this? Y'all? Y'all amazed me. When a blessing comes, you don't see it, your turn on the way, you run go towards it. When they switched them numbers, go over that at midnight, listen, she can't find out body meaning your descript club night? Cool? All right, I'm not listen. I'm gonna come back here on Wednesdays. Tighten up everything around everything you need him? All right, I'm gonna put that little ole gate over here on this fence. We gotta go in and out this gate. That's how we're gonna work this back. But I don't want nothing else going on. You can't be running run the street with her. You're a dead man, yeah, healthful in your sleep. You must think your wife is just stupid, he said, twelve o'clock at night. And want me when your wife asked you what the gate is? Fat? What she's not been to see? That gate doesn't hardaway gate? That gate I'm gonna put up there lasers. What it ain't no hand, it's not ticket. Wow. So so you cutting neighbor was y'all, Yeah, she's gonna really now, Yeah, I can I'm gonna cut more than one neighbor. I guess I need to do that. You're gonna end up cutting that whole blot for free, Dave. You're awfully quiet right now, nothing, he says, Right now. We just agree to disagree you. Yeah, we agree to disagree show. Yeah, we all have different opinions, which which is what the audience had? Yeah, on social media, you know, all the guys are gonna say, don't tell. All the women are good to say tell pretty much. Yeah, don't say nothing. You cut your tongue at That's what I do. All right, We will be back, No, not with part seven. I think I think we're done. Now. We're coming back with Steve's closing remarks at forty nine after the hour. You're listening to Steve. Our closing remarks are back as well. What you have for us? Here we go. Here's a suggestion. Here's what I came up with for today, A suggestion or something I've learned that has helped me out dramatically in accomplishing my goals and attaining my dreams. I still have things I'm after, still have goals that I've not yet met in dreams that I haven't seen come true yet. But I'm working on them and I know they will. And I know they will because I have mastered one technique of how to do it. I'm gonna share it with you right now. If you are wanting something from God, this is just for spiritual people. If you're not a spiritual person, you can go and do what you want to do right now. Only this is for people who believe in God. When I want something for God, when I'm trying to reach a certain goal or fulfill a dream or attain something, I never go about it without his help. You know. The things that I do on my own, I'm just doing them, you know, Like you know, I don't simple stuff, you know, like make sure I got water in my office so I can drink enough. Now I don't, I can do that right. But let's say I have an aspiration or dream that's pretty big as our most of mine, and as should yours be. You should dream as big as you possibly can. You should let your imagination should lead you into the life that God has for you. Not. A way to do that is to first of all, ask, because the scripture says you have not because you ask not, And then you have to believe. You have to have faith that God can do anything but fail. The third thing you need is a work ethic, an unrelenting work ethic. There's a scripture that says faith without works is dead. So after you ask for this incredible dream or vision or goal that you have and you put the faith in it, the belief, you got to work because faith without works is dead. Okay, cool? Now, the best way to accomplish your dreams and gifts, First of all, you should tie it to your I mean your goals and gifts. Your goals and dreams you have to tie to your gift. Everything should be tied to your gift. Now, if you want an airplane or goals special trips, has nothing to do with your gift. But the route that you're gonna get to this goal and to this dream has to be tied to your gift. Okay. Now, once you do that and you ask God for something that's impossible, be careful who you share it with because sharing things from your imagination is not always in your best interests. Because your imagination is yours and yours alone. Other people can't see it, They don't see no way how. They just start shooting it down but when you do ask God for this incredible thing, listen to me, the how to is none of your business. Let me repeat that. When you ask God for your visions, your goals, your dreams, your aspirations, and you believe He'll do it, and you're willing to work as hard as you can to accomplish, that's all that's required of you. The how to is none of your business. Get out of the way. The reason there is no scripture that tells us as people to figure it out is because if you're asking God for something so big, you gotta leave it up to him. You gotta let him handle it. The how to is not any of your business. The how too is not up to you. It's up to your faith and your belief in a higher power. Stop tripping on the how too. It ain't your business. The reason the how to is not up to you I have found in my life is for this reason right here, because my ways and my understanding is not enough to get me to where I want to go. Be entertained to where I want to go be have entertained. My ways and my understanding is not enough because I'm asking God for something so huge that I don't know how to get it, but I know that he does. You can't even fathom his ways. You can quit tripping, you can save yourself a lot of time. You can't google his ways. You don't know the route he's gonna take. You don't know how he's gonna touch certain people's hearts along the way. You don't know how he gonna move people into position to get you exactly what you need, when you need it, and how you need it. You have no idea what God is going to do and how he's going to do it. So why trouble yourself with the how too? Because it ain't your business. The how too is not up to you. And the reason is not up to you is because when you ask for something so great that you absolutely have to have God's help to get it, your ways and understanding is not enough. You won't be able to accomplish it because you can't even fathom his ways. You have no idea how He's going to go about it. You're clueless. You can't move the pieces the way God can. You can't do it man. As a matter of fact, if you try, you're all in the way. Now you're gonna mess it up. You are now blocking the blessing with concerning yourself with the how to. The how to is none of your business. You have to ask, believe, and be willing to work your tail all. That's how you accomplish it in life, and how to ain't your business. Those are my closing remarks. You'll have a great weekend for all. Steve Every contests no purchase necessary, void where prohibited. Participants must be legal US residents at least eighteen years old, unless otherwise stated. For complete contest rules, visits thee Harvey FM dot com. You're listening to the Dave Harvey Morning Show.