Ty and Dan scour an area twice the size of Texas in search for some lost-at-sea offenses, figure out if the distance between teams in big upcoming matchups (Florida vs. Georgia, Ohio State vs. Penn State, etc) are gulfs, bays, or lagoons, and then estimate the towing work needed to drag some very specific teams to bowl eligibility. And there’s a phallic salamander? A wrestler? Or something?

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