Some of the questions John is commonly asked are “How do I know if they are the one for me?”, “How do I know what to look for in a partner?” And “What can I do as I'm having second thoughts about my relationship?”. There are no guarantees when it comes to finding the right person for a partnership and you cannot make people love you no matter how hard you try. So what do we know, with certainty, amongst the complexities of loving relationships?
KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Science, in fact, dictates that opposites do not attract when it comes to healthy relationships. Being too similar can be as big an issue. One thing that is essential in a secure relationship is that each feels that the other is committed to them. 
• Reward theory argues that attraction stems from satisfying people's basic needs for self enhancement, connection and self expansion.
• Evolutionary theory argues that women are attracted to the more industrious and ambitious type partners while men are attracted to beautiful, chaste or innocent partners.
• Instrumentality theory argues that attraction depends on whatever goals people most hope to achieve when dating somebody. 
• Being authentic is essential and giving up or being forced to give up on any part of yourself destroys what you are trying to build and is also unsustainable.
• The law of attraction says that if you focus on what you want in a relationship fully then your reticular activating system will focus on what you want to bring towards you on a subconscious level and will filter out what you don’t focus on.
• Understanding who we have attracted in the past and understanding why we have attracted that type of person is a great start.  

BEST MOMENTS
‘They put it that the sweet spot is when the couple have a bedrock of similarity. There are enough similarities that work together, but enough nuances that compliment the relationship and bring something to the relationship that the other one doesn’t.’ 
‘It depends on how you look at attachment theory that can argue either way that people with opposing attachment styles are attracted to one another or people with similar attachment styles.’
‘Never believe that you have to please someone into liking or loving you.’
‘Did you realise that you do not need to be perfect for someone else either? Maybe a perfect fit, but not a perfect person.’
‘If the person that you’re with doesn’t match up to what you want and need in a relationship then it may be time to sit down and think about how you can address this with them.’ 
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Link to my workshop -  https://www.johnkennycoaching.com/5- things-you-need-to-create-a-healthy-loving-relationship/
To get in touch - email – john@johnkennycoaching.com or book a complimentary call – https://calendly.com/johnkennycoaching/30min
If people want to order a copy of the book then they can just pay postage of £4.95 (RRP £8.99) - www.johnkennycoaching.com/podcast-book-offer
Want to be able to address the relationship issues in your life? - Why not book in for a complimentary call and we can discuss how you can get the new started with some new types of relationships - https://calendly.com/johnkennycoaching/30min
The Relationship Guy Podcast - https://omny.fm/shows/the-relationship-guy        
ABOUT THE HOST
I am John Kenny, The Relationship Guy - Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships. 
Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.
CONTACT METHOD
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