Gaslighting is a term that has become more commonplace in the media and in general conversation about relationships and is often overused or misused to describe manipulative or controlling behaviour. Gaslighting is an insidious and coercive type of manipulation usually from one person to another. However, there is a self destructive behaviour that we can practice on ourselves utilising the voice in our head to belittle and manipulate that can result in and be described as Self Gaslighting.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
BEST MOMENTS
‘Do you ever hear yourself ask these types of questions when something is going on that you are uncomfortable with? “Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought.””They didn’t mean to hurt me.””I’m being overly emotional.” Or “I am making something out of nothing.”’
‘I have clients that believe this about themselves based on their childhood experiences and in some cases are being reaffirmed over and over by family members to this day.’
‘In the most extreme of cases it can create a split in your personality as though you are two or more different people. The person who knows what is happening or has happened and who knows that they aren’t wrong or to blame but have to be responsible regardless.’
‘You may have learned to self gaslight in times of stress and when you were in survival mode. It could have become your protective mechanism, so tell your brain that you no longer need it to protect you in this way, that you are safe to look at things and not use this technique to keep you stuck any longer.’
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ABOUT THE HOST
I am John Kenny, Award Winning Relationship Coach.
Coaching people to experience healthy loving relationships. Having spent a life choosing unhealthy relationships and self sabotaging my own success, I now coach people to live a life they choose.
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