Most of us have an idea of the person we would like to become - more confident, more successful, healthier, calmer, more disciplined. But where did that ideal come from? And is it actually ours? In this episode, we explore the psychology behind the real and ideal self, asking what happens when the person we are feels increasingly distant from the person we think we should be.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We explore:
Where the idea of the real and ideal self comes from
The role of congruence for self-esteem and well-being
How conditions of worth can disconnect us from what we truly want
The difference between Rogers’ real/ideal self and Winnicott’s true/false self
How to differentiate your ideal from your ought self
How to identify goals to reflect your own values

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com 

Our favourite sources:
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jad.12111 
https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0033-295X.94.3.319 
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1740144518301396?via%3Dihub 



The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. 

Most of us have an idea of the person we would like to become - more confident, more successful, healthier, calmer, more disciplined. But where did that ideal come from? And is it actually ours? In this episode, we explore the psychology behind the real and ideal self, asking what happens when the person we are feels increasingly distant from the person we think we should be.
Watch on Netflix: <a href="https://netflix.com/thepsychologyofyour20s">HERE</a>
We explore:
<ul>
<li>Where the idea of the real and ideal self comes from</li>
<li>The role of congruence for self-esteem and well-being</li>
<li>How conditions of worth can disconnect us from what we truly want</li>
<li>The difference between Rogers&rsquo; real/ideal self and Winnicott&rsquo;s true/false self</li>
<li>How to differentiate your ideal from your ought self</li>
<li>How to identify goals to reflect your own values</li>
</ul>
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @<a href="https://www.instagram.com/jemmasbeg/?hl=en#">jemmasbeg</a>
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @<a href="https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en#">thatpsychologypodcast</a>
Subscribe on Substack: @<a href="https://substack.com/@thepsychologyofyour20s">thepsychologyofyour20s</a>
For business: <a href="mailto:psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com">psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com</a>&nbsp;
Our favourite sources: <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jad.12111">https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jad.12111</a>&nbsp; <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0033-295X.94.3.319">https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0033-295X.94.3.319</a>&nbsp; <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1740144518301396?via%3Dihub">https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1740144518301396?via%3Dihub</a>&nbsp; 
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.&nbsp;

A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Hosted by Jemma Sbeg, each Tuesday and Friday we deep dive into the science and psychology behind a topic, concept or universal experience that defines our 20s - from dating, to mental health, career anxiety, friendship, finances and all the growing pains associated with this decade. Listen now. 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com 

A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Hosted by Jemma Sbeg, each Tuesday and Friday we deep dive into the science and psychology behind a topic, concept or universal experience that defines our 20s - from dating, to mental health, career anxiety, friendship, finances and all the growing pains associated with this decade. Listen now.&nbsp;
Watch on Netflix: <a href="https://netflix.com/thepsychologyofyour20s">HERE</a>
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @<a href="https://www.instagram.com/jemmasbeg/?hl=en#">jemmasbeg</a>
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @<a href="https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en#">thatpsychologypodcast</a>
Subscribe on Substack: @<a href="https://substack.com/@thepsychologyofyour20s">thepsychologyofyour20s</a>
For business: <a href="mailto:psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com">psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com</a>&nbsp;

The Psychology of your 20s

A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Each Tuesday and Friday we deep dive into the science and psychology behind a topic, concept or universal experience that defines our 20s - from dating, to mental health, career anxiety, friendship, finances and all the growing pains associated with this decade. Listen now. 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com 

A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Each Tuesday and Friday we deep dive into the science and psychology behind a topic, concept or universal experience that defines our 20s - from dating, to mental health, career anxiety, friendship, finances and all the growing pains associated with this decade. Listen now.&nbsp;
Watch on Netflix: <a href="https://netflix.com/thepsychologyofyour20s">HERE</a>
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @<a href="https://www.instagram.com/jemmasbeg/?hl=en#">jemmasbeg</a>
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @<a href="https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en#">thatpsychologypodcast</a>
Subscribe on Substack: @<a href="https://substack.com/@thepsychologyofyour20s">thepsychologyofyour20s</a>
For business: <a href="mailto:psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com">psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com</a>&nbsp;

479. Why you're not who you want to be (yet) 

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/bd65b8a9-a661-4f8c-ac2b-b4f800ced014/transcript