Why do some things sit heavy in our chest for weeks, months, even years - while others seem to slide right off? In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of resentment, exploring why letting go can feel so hard, and what our grudges might actually be trying to tell us about ourselves. Grudges are often dismissed as petty or immature, but they’re rarely that simple. They’re emotional archives - stories we keep retelling in our minds, not just to stay angry, but to make sense of hurt, to assert boundaries, or to reclaim a sense of control. Whether it’s a betrayal from years ago or a passive-aggressive comment from last week, the feelings linger for a reason.

We explore:

•      The psychological function of holding a grudge
•      How rumination and memory shape emotional pain
•      The role of power, justice, and unmet needs in long-term resentment
•      How resentment harms us more than them
•      Why forgiveness isn’t the same as forgetting
•      Tools for emotional processing and (maybe) letting go

If you want to get curious about what your lingering anger is pointing to, this episode is for you.

Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0  
 
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com 
 
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

Why do some things sit heavy in our chest for weeks, months, even years - while others seem to slide right off? In today&rsquo;s episode, we&rsquo;re unpacking the psychology of resentment, exploring why letting go can feel so hard, and what our grudges might actually be trying to tell us about ourselves. Grudges are often dismissed as petty or immature, but they&rsquo;re rarely that simple. They&rsquo;re emotional archives - stories we keep retelling in our minds, not just to stay angry, but to make sense of hurt, to assert boundaries, or to reclaim a sense of control. Whether it&rsquo;s a betrayal from years ago or a passive-aggressive comment from last week, the feelings linger for a reason.
We explore:
&bull; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;The psychological function of holding a grudge &bull; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;How rumination and memory shape emotional pain &bull; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;The role of power, justice, and unmet needs in long-term resentment &bull; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;How resentment harms us more than them &bull; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Why forgiveness isn&rsquo;t the same as forgetting &bull; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Tools for emotional processing and (maybe) letting go
If you want to get curious about what your lingering anger is pointing to, this episode is for you.
Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0">https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0</a>&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com&nbsp; &nbsp; The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Hosted by Jemma Sbeg, each Tuesday and Friday we deep dive into the science and psychology behind a topic, concept or universal experience that defines our 20s - from dating, to mental health, career anxiety, friendship, finances and all the growing pains associated with this decade. Listen now. 

 

My book is out NOW: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean 

For business enquires please email psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

 

A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Hosted by Jemma Sbeg, each Tuesday and Friday we deep dive into the science and psychology behind a topic, concept or universal experience that defines our 20s - from dating, to mental health, career anxiety, friendship, finances and all the growing pains associated with this decade. Listen now.&nbsp;
&nbsp;
My book is out NOW: <a href="https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean">https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean</a>&nbsp;
For business enquires please email <a href="mailto:thepsychologyofyour20steam@unitedtalent.com">psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com</a>
&nbsp;

The Psychology of your 20s

A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Each Tuesday and Friday we deep dive into the science and psychology behind a topic, concept or universal experience that defines our 20s - from dating, to mental health, career anxiety, friendship, finances and all the growing pains associated with this decade. Listen now. 

 

Buy my book, Person in Progress: https://www.amazon.com.au/Person-Progress-Roadmap-Psychology-Your/dp/1399823655 

For business enquires please email psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

 

A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Each Tuesday and Friday we deep dive into the science and psychology behind a topic, concept or universal experience that defines our 20s - from dating, to mental health, career anxiety, friendship, finances and all the growing pains associated with this decade. Listen now.&nbsp;
&nbsp;
Buy my book, Person in Progress: <a href="https://www.amazon.com.au/Person-Progress-Roadmap-Psychology-Your/dp/1399823655">https://www.amazon.com.au/Person-Progress-Roadmap-Psychology-Your/dp/1399823655</a>&nbsp;
For business enquires please email <a href="mailto:thepsychologyofyour20steam@unitedtalent.com">psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com</a>
&nbsp;

324. Why do we hold grudges?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/06c23987-76c1-41cb-bb33-b340004f1bd9/transcript

Advertisement