When Melissa wrote to The Patrick Madrid Show, her email was simple and direct: she’d been a bridesmaid in two weddings years ago, both involving Catholics who married outside the Church without dispensation. Now that she understands her faith better, she wonders if she sinned by participating.

Patrick begins with calm reassurance. “If you didn’t know the Church’s teaching at the time, then no – you didn’t sin,” he says. “You can’t be guilty of what you didn’t know.” Ignorance doesn’t excuse every act, but it removes moral culpability when the person truly doesn’t understand what they’re doing. Still, he added, “If your conscience bothers you, bring it to confession. Just mention it briefly and leave it at the foot of the Cross.”

Patrick then turns to the practical question: should Catholics attend such weddings? To explain his answer, he points to the example of St. John the Baptist. Herod’s marriage to his brother’s wife wasn’t valid, and John spoke out against it. That’s what led to his imprisonment and death. Patrick imagines Herod visiting John in prison: “Can you picture Herod saying, ‘John, I know you disagree with my marriage but just come to the reception. Keep the peace. Have a good meal.’ Do you think John would have said yes?” Patrick pauses. “If St. John the Baptist wouldn’t go along to get along, why should we?”

For him, the choice is about integrity. A Catholic can love family without surrendering faith. In moments of tension, fidelity to Christ matters more than social comfort.

When Melissa wrote to The Patrick Madrid Show, her email was simple and direct: she&rsquo;d been a bridesmaid in two weddings years ago, both involving Catholics who married outside the Church without dispensation. Now that she understands her faith better, she wonders if she sinned by participating.
Patrick begins with calm reassurance. &ldquo;If you didn&rsquo;t know the Church&rsquo;s teaching at the time, then no &ndash; you didn&rsquo;t sin,&rdquo; he says. &ldquo;You can&rsquo;t be guilty of what you didn&rsquo;t know.&rdquo; Ignorance doesn&rsquo;t excuse every act, but it removes moral culpability when the person truly doesn&rsquo;t understand what they&rsquo;re doing. Still, he added, &ldquo;If your conscience bothers you, bring it to confession. Just mention it briefly and leave it at the foot of the Cross.&rdquo;
Patrick then turns to the practical question: should Catholics attend such weddings? To explain his answer, he points to the example of St. John the Baptist. Herod&rsquo;s marriage to his brother&rsquo;s wife wasn&rsquo;t valid, and John spoke out against it. That&rsquo;s what led to his imprisonment and death. Patrick imagines Herod visiting John in prison: &ldquo;Can you picture Herod saying, &lsquo;John, I know you disagree with my marriage but just come to the reception. Keep the peace. Have a good meal.&rsquo; Do you think John would have said yes?&rdquo; Patrick pauses. &ldquo;If St. John the Baptist wouldn&rsquo;t go along to get along, why should we?&rdquo;
For him, the choice is about integrity. A Catholic can love family without surrendering faith. In moments of tension, fidelity to Christ matters more than social comfort.

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