#424 What Did Comedians Do Without Podcasts?, Bad Neighbors & Limerence vs Manifestation

Published Mar 21, 2024, 2:10 AM

Nikki ropes Julie into the show for good reason. Imagine if podcasts didn't exist? What would comedians do? Noa and Brian try to explain the new bill that would ban TikTok. Julie thought she was an Enneagram 3 all week when she is really a 1. Nikki tells an anecdote about her dad not finding his favorite dish on a menu. Julie breaks it to Nikki that her dad is about to upset the whole neighborhood. Nikki is on a mission to get her parents in shape and has been shopping around town for a new gym. They talk about the difference between limerence and manifestation. Nikki loves to perform at the Hard Rock, but Brian doesn't because his gambling problem might be affecting his heart health. In the Final Thought, Nikki explains why she is loving life lately.

Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast 

.

Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod

Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record

Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour

Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange

More Nikki: IG

More Brian: IG

More producer Noa: IG

The Nicky Glizer Podcastser here's Nikki. Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. I'm here in Saint Louis in studio with Ma Mama.

Hi, Hi, my god, thanks for having me back.

I love having you on. Like it's fun to hang. Podcasts are hangs, you know, it's really fun. Yeah, it's good. You're good at it. You're chill, well, not trying anymore.

I'm not trying because you get what you get.

You get what you get. I just don't know what that's about brushing to people when you don't you don't put on any kind of artifice.

I don't even know how to do that anymore.

Yeah, I've seen you put it on. You can put it on.

No, I really don't know. I don't get nervous anymore.

It's like, it's so great. It's really I've knocked it out of you. Thank you, because you used to get nervous and go, I'm what am I going to say? You stop the self doubt thing of like no one wants to hear me well, and I always just say, well, do you just trust me that I'm not doing this out of charity?

No, you've said that, and I'm so grateful because you're like, I do not question if I didn't think you were any good.

Yeah, I want to make things that are listenable. And yeah, and if you held me back in any way and made me talk differently, I wouldn't like it for my listeners. Well, thanks for it, but I feel more free. This is great, This is just great. Okay, So moms here, things are going great over here. Brian Frandie's here, Noah's here. What's up, guys?

How are you Podcasts supporting comedians' mental health since twenty sixteen? Without podcasts, there are so many comedian friends who would not know anything about each other or hang out.

Ever.

What the comedians do before podcasts?

They got drunk at the bar after shows. But other than that, there were no hangs.

Yeah, there were hangs.

Well, I've talked to actually some conduring the day there were hangs after shows. Comedians don't hang out anymore. I guess in New York they're still doing it. But in LA there's not really that many hangs happening. And if there are, they only talk. We don't talk about jokes, which I've never liked really talking about jokes. Ever since I was like five years into comedy, I've just been like, stop.

Waiting and you give them away, right, No, no, no.

That's not No one's stealing jokes. That's not a thing you worry about that kind of stuff.

I kind of do.

Yeah, my mom hides jewelry because and forgets where she even hides it. She's like a little squirrel. Do you know that squirrels like half the nuts they hide, they don't remember.

Where they Yeah, I have found them in my garage.

Yeah, that's when you're looking for your jewels in the garage hard. Yeah. But now that Yeah, they're not talking about jokes anymore. They're not talking about you know, they're just talking about algorithms, and I just I just can't take an or views or this guy's getting this. I mean we've always been complaining about who's getting what and why are hurt? But yes, the views and.

The algas social it's just a curse, curs a thing.

I heard that on TikTok because I was talking to someone who knows their way around this stuff. If you have like a video that you've clipped that you've made for TikTok, right, and you're like I'm gonna put this on TikTok. It's behooves you and the algorithm to then use the TikTok editing software within it, like make your clip a little bit longer. So if you because TikTok will know if you used its software to edit, and it likes videos that you are using the app to edit as opposed to using something else to edit. So put on a little extra time when you're editing the clip outside of TikTok, take it off within the TikTok app, so that TikTok thinks, oh, they made this in here, and then they'll give it more views. And companies do this thing where everyone within a social media company that works for one you know, will when they post for a client, they'll tell all of their employees, hey, comment on this post because if it gets lots of if it gets lots of comments in the first twenty minutes, it will double the amount of views it gets.

Fuck TikTok. I can't wait. I hope it gets banned.

Isn't it getting banned? I disagree with anything about the band. I don't even know how to.

Congress past to ban TikTok, to pass the bill to ban TikTok because of Chinese.

Yeah, exactly, they're stealing your information because.

That it's melting people's brains and making young girls kill themselves.

No, it's it's that too. It's because they trace all of the steps that you take on your phone and they start studying people and then it influences thestagram.

Is it?

Are they not stealing data?

We can all trust? He's fine, he's an American, a colt America is a white blooded American male.

And thought they were banning TikTok because it's about the naive. I thought it was because they are concerned about people's mental health.

No, they're not Chinese.

That's what I believe that Ikea was cutting their costs because they cared about the consumer.

Congress was upset that Matt Raife blew up so much, and so they said, we have to do something about this.

It's why is this an issue now? Like, wasn't this the big issue when it first came out? Everyone was like, the it's fine, we don't care, it's too entertaining.

Well, it's legally perilous to say that a company must divest, like the government forcing a company divest, But The argument is that the Byte Dance, which owns TikTok, is going to sell all of or give all of Americans data to the Chinese government upon request because they can't say no because they're a Chinese company under the brutal Chinese regime, and they're going to use that information to spread propaganda. And don't they.

Already have all the data they've gotten so far, Like even if we banned it right now, it just means not more data. It doesn't mean they have to give back the data they've already collected. Right enough, they'd be like, yeah, we're good, we're so far.

They said that they're not giving up any data to the government. But you know, I mean, like if you.

Banned it right now and then the Chinese there's still people, they would still have it.

Like I don't have TikTok, so like they would still want my information, I.

Know, but they're not going to You're not going on anytime soon. Like I feel like everyone who's on TikTok is on it except young kids. Will keep I'm not on it, Yeah, I'm not on it right the young kids. That's what it is.

New new customers.

You know, the world is ending in like twenty years anyway, who cares how it all goes down? That would you not quit saying it? Because I'm not gonna quit. I just think it's so insane that anyone thinks things are gonna be okay.

There's hope where you just have to have that hope. It's like faith, you just have to have.

It so blind blind help with no science behind it, except all the science is really just thought that though, like for so happens, but I go, someone's got to be right at some point, and also you know, like someone will be right. We're not gonna be around forever. But things are seemed really I mean, I haven't been around when people said it before, but it doesn't seem well, we don't have winters anymore. Everyone.

Yeah, but that's fine. It's incredibly narcissistic to think that where the ones that are going to experience the apocalypse, you know, gonna be right. It's probably not gonna be Yes, it probably gonna be a few generations from now. I mean we're not we might have like, oh no it's a little hot in New York in October.

They're already there.

Yeah it is, we're gonna have that we're gonna be uncomfortable, but that's not the apocalypse, all right, all right.

I just know my building did not have hot water last week and I got a little taste of what's.

The whole building?

Yeah, for a couple of days, and I was just like, what would this be like?

They you mean everyone would have their own water heater in this building?

Are you being facetious?

No, I'm being serious. I guess sounds crazy that one big tank is taking I guess.

So something was going on with it. So we didn't have hot water, which I did not care about. I was very understanding about things happened, deal with it.

I just didn't take a shower, no shower.

Yeah, and I didn't do sink sink shower. I did a little of that, but I think it didn't boil one day because it was Yeah, I just didn't care. I was just gonna be sinky for one day. And I've discovered this new deodorant that makes you truly odorless, odorless. It's natural. It's called Purely Great. Chris discovered it wore a little jar your on Amazon. Purely Great. It's charcoal and you have to it has comes with a ladle and you have to put the ladle in and you stir it and then you put it on your armpit and then you have to rub it in with your fingers. But I'm not joking. You odorless, Yeah, you don't stink for like two days.

I don't trust that. Wow, I don't trust the charcoal trend. I don't get you try to ban it. I would think that that Biden should ban charcoal. There's like charcoal soap. Now there's charcoal toothpaste. Why all of a sudden, are we like, oh, charcoal is safe for you? It's black.

Isn't a real charcoal like from the grill?

Or is it something else? Well? Is better than an aluminum which has been proven to cause cancer in your armpits?

Like it's yes, Well, we just haven't done the studies. We haven't done this. A little bit of natural it's it's a periodic element.

Well, I was talking to someone this weekend about smoking weed and how we used to just smoke it out of pens and oh god, pipes, sugar free, sugar free red bull cans, and you would just light aluminum on fire and then breathing, or a big pen, just light it on fire and then breathing. Im, no, but there's plastic. Do you think anyone should burn plastic? And then inhale it no deeply, like no, it's it's just so insane. She says no, and then I mean no o COVID. I was smoking out of this like rubber pipe that I got from Amazon, because.

Yeah, I remember this the one.

Yeah, don't use that if you ever find it in your house, okay, because I left it there, but it is I don't know that's rubber. You're burning plastic, yeah, and you're breathing. But I got it because I was like, I'm just tired of breaking things. Oh and I just you could it could tip over, and I'm just a clumsy person, so things are always shattering. But yeah, I just got like, but I've told the story before, but I smoked weed with someone out of a surfree red bullcan on the road. Okay, and I eight years later, this person is a comedian that I ran. I ran into later and I was like, oh my god, remember when we smoked weed out of a red bull can. You showed me that trick. I was like, that is so crazy. We did that. We were inhaling aluminum and he goes I still do I have one with me tonight, he goes, and I go, oh. He goes, Actually, I can't not smoke weed with without a red BULLCN. It's like it's the only way. And I go, well, you're addicted to aluminum. Now, yeah, He's like, I get headaches if I don't smoke it out of You didn't say that, But I'm like the fact that he's eight years later an adult man.

I thought you were going to say he came down with something very serious. I mean he probably will eventually. You can't be smoking. You can't be lighting aluminum on fire and breathing in. I didn't even know about that, to be honest, what.

Do you mean. It's not that you didn't know, you know, you just didn't think. No, I don't know about aluminum. You would think that lighting aluminum on fire and breathing in that would be good.

He just never thought about it, to be honest.

But that's what I'm saying. You you know that breathing. You would say, do you have kids go hang out by an aluminum burning No, I would from that that would be toxic.

Thought about the aluminum part of the whole.

Thing, Julie would be great in a deposition. She is taking these questions. I don't know anything about that.

Well, I I really know.

I don't think I knew it, but I thought it.

I never even thought.

Well, that's the fun, that's what I'm well, that's why it's humorous that we were doing this without thinking at all. Still, and if you give, if you think about it even a little bit, it's horrifying, even lighting glass on fire, her glass.

Pipes already aluminum in my mouth just thinking about it.

You're well, you're a one. Remember, I'm just saying that you're a one that does nothing to do with anything.

Oh, that's right, she comes.

No, I was a three, I am a three. You're a one. I'm a one.

I thought I was a three. I was looking at the results. I'm going, this is I told you, this isn't me.

Right, one, you're a one. I thought I was a three.

Yeah, going around acting like a three.

I've been acting like a three.

Well I've been mad. I'm like, that's not me, just like a one. Because you ones want things to be right and correct. It's this and it's this. It's black and white. This is wrong and this is right, and I and another thing about ones. What you don't get mad because you can't even though I know one's gone does you can't. You can't admit you're wrong. It's really impossible for you to admit that you have made an error at some point. And when you do, when you are faced with it where it's like very obvious, where you're in a car accident and like let's say you were texting, so it's like obvious to you that you did something wrong, you can't fucking handle it. You go into a depression. So if you've in your life, whenever you've been really sad, it's and this is me talking. I've read like one one infographic about you, So this is me Just I don't know what I'm talking about really, but I think that ones, when they are faced with actually having done something wrong and there's proof behind it and they can't deny it and they can't you know, avoid it, they really suffer because to them, they want to be perfect it For me, what's important? For threes, I.

Feel like that's not me either.

Well, see this is this is you being one that's not me. That can't be true. But I'm I'm never wrong. Wait, when was the less time you were wrong. I've been wrong a lot.

Okay, let's name one. I might have done something. Even today, I was saying, talking to your dad. We were taking a walk and he's like said something, and I was like, because usually we argue the whole way, our neighbors must think we.

Are falling apart. Falling apart.

Yeah, because we're kind of arguing every step of the way about what, just about everything. He's just says something and it's fucking me.

And then I poor dad, We just like to go in the small.

I said, he better not listen because he's gonna get hurt.

No.

The other day and Dad like could not find his dish on the menu this restaurant. They changed restaurants, like they changed locations. They got a new menu. And my dad's like, you guys get new menus. And the guy's like, ye, yes, there's a redesign of the menu, but it's all the same stuff. It's what the man said, but it was in Maybe No, I think it was true. He just didn't really.

Speak and they raise their trust.

Me, Oh well we did. No one was questioning that. Whenever we go to dinner, I'm just like Mom, she goes, well, this seventy ninety nine. For that, I go, I'm buying. Don't look at the prices, it doesn't matter, get what you want, don't but you can't help yourself. I can't help myself. I got all the prices. But Dad was like, couldn't find his dish on the menu. And the waiter came over and we had already been looking for fifteen minutes. Dad can't even be involved in conversation because he is so desperately trying to find this thing. He's like, I know it had snap peas, and I go, let's try to like, say what you remember did it have rice on the side or was the were there noodles in it? Because that's like, that's an easy way to distinguish where on the menu it would be. And he's like, uh, it was rice on the side. So then we go to that section. I'm like, pretty much, Dad, you can make anything you want here. Just say the vegetables you want, say the meat you want, say the kind of song, and boom, you got it. But he was very angry that he couldn't find it. And then the waiter came over after fifteen minutes of him already looking and not finding it, and I'm just like, we gotta go. So I ordered, you ordered, and then it gets to Dad and Dad's like, well, I'm looking for this thing. And then we go, well, you're just gonna have to come up with something else, and Dad goes, hold on, I'm gonna find it. Keeps looking for it, and I was just like, we gotta go.

Dad, what number is he? We gotta give him the test?

Oh well, I sent you the test the other night because I wanted you to do it.

He haven't gotten to it.

It's okay. You guys are so busy fighting throughout the neighborhood. All right, we'll be back with more show after this and we're back. I what was I gonna say? Oh yeah, so what are you arguing about throughout the neighborhood? And just I mean anything.

I just don't want to hear anything negative about this guy's lawn with his sprays, for sure.

Oh.

Dad is an environmentalist. Yeah, he's very conscious of Like this guy's just leaving his car running. Oh god, that's for you. Ever leave your car running and you're just sitting in your car and it's running. I just want you to know that somewhere my dad has a pain in his neck because you're doing that.

He like can sense it's very He's gonna he's gonna say something to me, for sure, and he might give a little grimace to the person in the car.

He'll say something.

Pro leave the car running. Most dads are like, you gotta warm it up. You can't just let you can't.

Start it, boy, No, try to warm that car up before you get in.

No, that is just burning fossil fuels. And and as a kid, one of my earliest memories is dad saying, if you leave a lamp on, just picture a smokestack pouring pollution into the air because you left that lamp on. Otherwise there would be no smoke coming out of that smoke sacke because you were too lazy to go over and switch off that thing. A bird is now gonna fly through the smoke and start coughing and crying and die. You say that part, But that's like my yeah, and that's my fault.

But that's this is our neighborhood walk because everyone in our neighborhood lives in a McMansion but us, because they're all knocked down houses, but ours didn't get knocked down, and they all have perfect lawns. I mean because they have, they get spray on them.

Yeah, and Dad can't handle Oh he's he went run off to the streams.

Well he did go. He ordered flyers to go on the doors. What ordered flyers to go on everybody's door? So, I mean, wait, wait, he's gonna go fly or those neighborhood he was gonna do that. They're still sitting in.

His drawer, doesn't The thing is he doesn't understand that. That just makes people want, Oh.

My god, Mary, we would be lambastard in the neighbor.

What about the sign Dad wants to get h Can we talk, Brian. I don't think you can handle this. Noah, I know, I know you can't. I don't think anyone can. I can't handle this. And I am quite a little like I want to stir shit up passive aggressively. I love a passive aggressive I'm calling you out bumper sticker that like lights people up when they know they're being called out, but that you're not exactly saying it to them. I'm a little passive aggressive bitch. But Dad wants to.

Put a sign that says happy Saint Patrick's Day.

I want you to guess what my dad wants to put up a sign about. And we're not going to get political beyond this, but just you know where my dad stands politically. From this conversation, what do you think my dad wants to put on a sign? What is the most uh inflammatory thing you could possibly write on a sign? And let me just say that in my neighborhood, there was a house of Trump voters that put up in you know, four.

Years ago, banner across a huge.

Banner that said what did it say? It's no more bullshit?

Oh yeah, oh yeah that was So.

The neighborhood is okay with profanity on signs and like and uncomfortable words on signs. So what do you think my dad wants to get if it said Trump is blank, a blank blank? What would what do you think my dad wants to put up a sign in this front yard that says Trump is a.

Blank raging homosexual. Well you got the right word, right, right, raging lunatic.

Rapist is a rapist? He wants to have that or a front yard and want the house to get burned down. Do you guys want to be a teardown? No, because you'll be like I know. I'm like, you cannot do that. You it's it's it's so said, it's in the area.

He took that sign and put it on other people's lawns.

Yeah, I mean the flyers are. It's not going to prove they would know who we put that. It's just I really like it when Dad told me that he wanted to do that. He's not going to, but it made me feel like Dad takes after me a little bit. Like Dad's learned would.

Say go ahead, he'd be oh, thank god, he would order it. He's anti Trump, right, he's I'm not letting him celebrating this.

He wants people to.

Want everyone you can do what you want.

So that's I couldn't even I asked for Dad's Trump thought of the Day, like I used to a couple of weeks ago, and he had. He told me that, and I couldn't post it on my stories because I was like, I don't want to get you will be flagged for something. This is this is too scary to me. But Dad's insane.

We're doing it and we can't do it.

No, you're not going to. You absolutely cannot do that. I care for my home, I care for your safety. I care for those jewels that are hidden that you'll never find even after down.

Yeah, I might find him.

So I the best thing happened to me this morning ever, and I think everyone can agree that this is the greatest when this happens. So, yes, I I'm trying out new like workouts around my area because now I'm fit and I feel like I can finally like enter into places where there's classes because now I can like not be the worst one in there. So so I sign up for this place near me. I'm not going to say the name of it. I probably will at some point, but I was going. I signed up for an eight am class, which who you? Who made that?

Girl? I'll say, get up and go.

And there's something in me that when I make a plan to go to my workout class later in the week, it's I'm like, it's because it's most likely i'll go. There's an eighty percent chance i'll go, So it means I've done it. There's like an achievement in setting setting the calendar to do it. Okay, So I did that. I woke up at seven eight breakfast really bleary eyed. I'm like, I don't even have time to get coffee. By the time I was ready to go, I was like, I'm just going down. I went down. It's within walking of my building. So I walk in at seven point fifty nine boom, ready to go. I'm new it's my first time here. And she was like, oh, then you got an email telling you you need to come like twenty minutes early to learn the equipment. And I go, I'm so sorry. I do know that I need to do that. Why didn't I think of that. I'm so sorry? And I go and she goes, oh, well maybe we can. I go, you should, I should probably come back another time, right, and she was like yeah, And so I didn't have to work out because even though I.

Would have, and you showed up, so it's not like you maybe go in for you and then you didn't. You were a no show.

Yes, and so she and she was really kind and was like, and I won't charge you for this one because I bought three sessions for fifty bucks that I have to do within two weeks period. Good deal.

Yeah, you bet you are.

But she she said, well, we won't take that class off her. She was like, you're you're good. We'll throw it back on and I was like, that is so nice. So I triumphantly didn't have to go to a class that I thought I would have to go to. But what is it. It's like pilates but like hard. Oh it's a class where it's like it's it's a well, let me tell you. I went to another class last night because I am experimenting. I went to my first Orange Theory. Oh yeah, Brian, have you been.

No, never to Orange Theory?

But uh, do you know about it?

Yeah? Isn't the theory that he's a rapist?

You're that's his Yeah, that's his theory.

I did not know much about this class. I walk by it all the time because there's one near my apartment, and I see people coming in and out and looking really triumphant and like there's like a camaraderie I sense going on in there. So I, you know, I just was like, I signed up for it, and I went last night, and I got there early enough to like learn the basics. They were so nice. They so what you do is you put an armband on and it does your heart rate, and then throughout the class you're on a screen with a bunch of other people and their heart rates are up and their calories and their levels of energy percentage of energy. That is, so you're trying to get in this zone, the orange zone, which is why it's orange theory. And now there's also a red zone, and so you always want to be you don't want to be in the red The red zone is when you're no, you want to be in it a little bit, but then you want to go back to to the orange.

It's too much exertion. Red zone.

No red zone is good. It's like when you're doing sprints, but you shouldn't stay there. And where you're gonna burn fat based on their theory is like in the orange zone where you've recover. You're recovering out of the red zone, but you're not totally like just limp, you know, like you're still giving effort. We all know this, like interval training and stuff. So maybe we don't all know this, but sure three out of four of us know this. So I but it was it's so fucking confusing Orange theory. I went there in time, but it was just there. There's too much going on. But I will say that if you are someone who is looking for community, is looking for friends, is looking to have enthusiasm in their life and goal setting and mild competitiveness with like a flirty theater camp vibe. Orange theory is for you if you went to theater camp and you don't do theater anymore, but you miss that dorky camaraderie that you got from doing theater. I'm it is so which I loved. I loved that part of their I was a dork, Like I'm a dork now. Being a swifty is kind of being a dork, like just being obsessed with something and like having the secret language like you're a dork and I mean that lovingly.

Wow.

But Orange theory.

Is for people's trying to lot of that out, like in a lot of group workout or like some kind of like gym stuff. I know what happens in jiu jitsu, and I feel like it probably happens in CrossFit a lot.

Yes, it felt like CrossFit to me. I don't know anything about CrossFit, but it felt like that's the closest I felt to it of this like group of people who all kind of knew each other. There was like a challenge yesterday to do the mile run who could do it the fastest, and everyone was supportive, but like there was a kind of a competition going on between two guys that I could see that I thought thought was very interesting. And then but there was a lot of like go go go and support and like if I was someone who lacked friends and felt like that I spent too much time alone and I didn't have a community, I would have won one hundred percent be so into orange theory.

Wait, man, are you on a treadmill trying to.

So it's treadmill, it's floor weights, and it's rowing machine. So you just jump from one to the other and they kind of instruct you as you go what to do and you run around. My problem is I sorry, I have been training with Pilates, with an instructor who are like some of the best instructors in the world. They've trained all over the world to come back to Saint Louis to open the premiere Pilates gym, and it is and I forget the name of it. Now, why do I always forget what It's called? Ploate's Lab. Sorry, I know they're listening. Pilate's Lab is they don't give me a discount. This is not a paid advertisement, but Plotti's Lab is like there they do classical plates, so it is like the way Joseph Pilates designed it. And my body is being studied constantly. If I'm doing a rep of anything, it's like, okay, well you need to suck in your aps. Now you your big toe, put your big toe down, Like, can you imagine a workout where people are assessing your pinky toe is not in the place that should be when you're doing an arm workout. This is the level of precision and detail that I'm learning and ploties. So I go over to Orange Theory and they're like, now, do a plank push up. But then you know, just you know, you do a plank on one of like the on the ground, and then you take a weight and you do like this while you're in the plank and my lips are flying everywhere and my shoulders popping out of the socket. I have horrible form. My butt's right up in the air. I'm piking. There's no there's no plank and no one's no one's gonna say you're just on your own. It's better than nothing like there's it's certainly better to have bad form and to do the exercise then to do nothing, but I cannot be held accountable to have good form. And that is why I'm sending my mom to personal training three times a week. I just got her, my dad and her a gym membership yesterday for a year.

Happy birthday, Thank you Nick and personal trainers.

And I'm kidding. I'm a person train her three times a week because I want her to get an elderly woman. You need to have muscle or you're gonna die. Bones are deteriorating. Yes, yeah, so you need muscle. So my mom's gonna go to a trainer. And she keeps saying can't. I just go a couple of times and they teach me the ropes and I go no, because you won't. You won't stick to it.

You're formally will though. I don't want you wasted, but you'll stick.

You'll do the exercise, but your form will be bad unless you have someone watching you. Ow.

I do need to know how to do this.

Brian, Do you agree? Like? How do you you work out on your own? And I know that most people can't afford what I'm talking about, and I'm so grateful that I'm able to have someone moderating the bonny every second but what do you have trouble keeping good form when you're doing your stuff? How do you stay up with it?

Well, I just want to say, if wasting money is the concern, then think about all the money that'll be wasted when you need to get one of those chairs installed on your staircase that automatically goes up right, or bring the groceries.

In toilet next to my bed.

Yeah, totally be a decade of save money if you just work out.

I do know that Nikki.

I always say to her, she goes, it's too much money, and I go, I would pay. I would give up ninety percent of my income if it meant you were going to live ten more years? Is that I will saying high? But who wouldn't do that for their mom to keep their mom around? If they like their mom?

I will if you're.

Good on the podcast, that means the hell. But I want to know that.

So this is clo It's not even and I would definitely doubt. I would definitely give up five hundred dollars to keep my mom alive for tens No, I mean like I.

Would if I could more and survive comfortably, I would give up all my money to save my parents to have my parents around ten more years, and that is what having them do do strength exercises will do. Well.

I'm really excited. I need some upper body strength for sure, I'm really.

But this doesn't mean you should be lifting anything. I don't want you to get I still want you to hire people to lift things for you. That's another thing I need to do.

But move you know.

I need to get you a gift certificate to Craigslist to just come over and pick up things for you.

I could save you a bunch of money, Nikki.

I can do it. I'm not paying that guy fifty bucks to come over here and hang this. I can do this. Brian, how do you keep form on when you do your Tom Brady workouts?

Well, I worked at a gym when I was in high school, and I went to see personal trainers sometimes, so I feel like I can't. Obviously it's not like pilates, but I feel like I'm pretty good at looking in the mirror and assessing my own form as I go. You probably are, yeah, but it's obviously it's not perfect. And even if you know what your correct form is, it doesn't necessarily mean you're doing it right. Well, I followly.

Now Instagram's serving up all of these reels of girls with amazing asses teaching me how to do the Russian squat or whatever it is to get the best butt. Okay, because there's like so many different muscles in your butt, and to get the ones that lift your butt, you have to do these really weird exercises where you put one foot up and then you I don't even understand it, but they all criticize each other about like the form and the form I and they go, look at this form, this is not right. Now this is the right form, and you could get involved with I could never tell the difference between these two things, kidding, And it's so especially intuitive.

The other people who don't even agree on what the right form is. Yeah a lot.

Yeah, there's girls everywhere, and I think the right form is filling out a form at a med spot where you get things injected and ass to make yourself out or sucked out of your stomach and then put in your butt. Not everyone's doing it, but like I, I just it just would never occur to me that some of the stuff just you just have to tense your whole body all the time. I my God, I've talked about it enough. I'm just and I have Yeah, but it's my life right now.

I'm so excited about going today.

Yeah. But if you if you want community, join Orange Theory. Okay, I did run a seven thirty nine mile, which I was really proud of it. Forever.

It's not bad?

Was that more than everyone said? No, there was a guy that ran like a six twenty something seven seven thirty nine, whoa yeah, And there was oh shout out to the girl who's an instructor there that was like helping me throughout the whole class and telling me what to do because I could not understand what the next step was. And then I started going rogue and doing my own thing. So they wanted me to go back to the rower, but I was like, the rower doesn't make sense to me. I have bad form, I know I do. I'm never gonna get this, so I'm just gonna stay on the treadmill and do my own thing. And then at the end, we were all stretching and I just didn't feel like being on the ground. It just looked felt dirty to me. So I just left early, and they did say we're gonna all get a picture afterwards, and so I ducked out of that picture they wanted. There was a part of me that did want to be in the picture. Oh yeah, I mean, wait, good is that picture? But it's no good? But it's what it does is it makes people feel like they're a part of something. We just all accomplished this thing. Like when you go into the class, you high five the guy on the way. Do they do it every class? I don't know. It was a special day. They were like, you came on a special day. No no, no, no, no, no, no, okay they did it. I saw them take a picture of the class before mine. Oh okay, No, it wasn't that. Okay.

It's like a sticker that you get at the end.

Yeah, an achievement sticker, little star. It does feel good when you look up and you see all your stats. But I gotta say I kind of know what calories are and like how you burn them and how much you're burning and right, how much have their numbers are a little wonky. It's like a skinny mirror.

Are they on the low end or no?

They're trying to make you feel like you did you burned twelve hundred calories.

But taking our class.

Yeah. I saw a couple of people in the class before me burn like eight hundred calories and I go, no, they there's were they here for three hours?

Yeah?

Non stop? Like I just I call BS on that, but I do. It's still a good workout. It was fun. Will I be back? No, because I don't.

I wondered if you'd go there because it's so well.

I just I don't. I think I'll be back because I just felt too sloppy in my in my own workout I did, I felt like I'm gonna get injured. But I think it would be good for someone, It would be good for I just know too much now, And that's no disrespect to anyone who's gone. I think it actually is a really fun thing to do.

Just a little too lase fair for me.

It is because I just can't be trusted. I have bad posture, I've got really flexible joints. Things are just willy nilly. I've got no ass, and if you try to make me work my ass, every other muscle in my body will start working before that ass. Wow, Like it's I don't even know what my ass muscle feels like, Like I don't even know how to clench it a squat. You can't feel your but I feel I feel like the sides of my butt, but that inner up the up the rear but part like now I can feel it because I've done plates. Yeah, but before I had no fucking clue. And yeah, it's just like I'm I'm not really in touch with my feelings in my body. Like that's why I was going to this somatic therapist lady for a while to be like, how does that feel in your body? And I'd go, I don't know what people feel things in their body when they're angry. Where, yeah, where do you What do you feel when you're like feeling angry? Do you feel it? Oh? You? Noah's pointing to her solar plexus.

That's where I feel mine too.

And then I get a rush in my face? Are you a rush in your face? And my like so when you get.

Angry, I think that's where it all goes right in here, it heats something.

It's like a heater furnace, Bryan.

Yeah, and also my head a little bit like I'll I'll get a little uh like foggy in the head and I'll get in the chest tightness and yeah, blood pressure is going up. That's what that means.

Dude. I am like this girl Heidi Pleab, who I've been following on YouTube, who I talked about last week. I'm not joking you. I'm you if you're interested in self help and getting better and fixing the things about you that are like undercurrents are kind of fucking up your life in pattern ways. She is unlocking some shit. Last night I listened to this talk get this. So when you so, okay, do you subscribe to No? No, that's off. I mean you probably don't have YouTube premium, so you're gonna watch some ads.

But that's fine.

I have you. There's ads for you, right yeah, okay, so it's free, but you just gotta watch it.

Got okay.

So there's this thing called limerence. Do you guys know what limerence is.

I've heard that word. I don't remember what it means.

Its catchy little lowing my mind, a limerick. I thought it. Sorry to let you finish your joke. Limerence is when it's an obsessive it's usually romantic, a romantic feeling, but it doesn't have to be. And it's when you have like an obsessive desire to win over or like you're in love. It feels like being in love. It feels like the beginning of a relationship, like think Pete Davidson, Ariana Grande, like all obsessed with each other, all over each other, sustainable obsession phase. Yeah, but a lot of times people have it when the other person doesn't reciprocate. So it's like before before you eat, like you might have a crush on someone. It feels like a crush. But the difference between a crush and Limerens from what she says, is the obsessiveness. So if you're someone like me, who if you have a crush on someone, you like to like close your eyes and think about what it would be like to be with them, and like you like let your mind if you are stuck in fantasy about anyone, either romantically or like how a job is gonna go or how, oh my god, I'm getting to see my parents this weekend, how our weekend is gonna go, and it never ends up matching what you imagine it to be, and you kind of get high on this kind of supply of fantasizing if you relate to this, which I so relate to this so much. One of My favorite things is when I would used to have a crush when I was single, and I would see the potential and I would just go on a plane. My favorite thing would be being on a plane listening to music that made me think about the crush, and then thinking about things that were gonna happen in our.

Already married like and just just because you had a good interaction.

Yeah, like not yes and married but not. I wouldn't even go that far. I would go to like when he finally decides to show up at my door, and then what that looks like, and then we go to dinner after that, and then after that we go and we watch a movie like and just thinking of the warmth that I would feel inside that this person is so perfect for me and we're getting along in all these ways that I've never even gotten along with someone before, and it never ever matches up because there's no one like that out there. Well, what it does is it which I did not know. I always just thought it's fantasy. Like, I know it's fantasy. I know that I'm exaggerating this person's personality to be perfect. But what it does is it makes it so you can never really have a good relationship with that person, because when you are with them, you will always be disappointed. You were always waiting for this other person to show up. You cannot be present with them because you're actually you end up. She even talks about in a relationship she was in, she had so much limerence for this person. She had fantasized about what they would be like. When she would be around him, she would be so disappointed that she would like, couldn't wait till it was over and she could go back to her fantasy of him. So she couldn't even enjoy being with him because she was like enjoying the fantasy part of it more, but she needed to keep seeing him in order to keep the fantasy going. So we do this a lot, not even just in like romantic relationships. We even do it with what you're supposed to do. So you don't have limerens, which is just you know, you tell me a lie about yourself. Yeah, you don't want limerens because it sets you up for failure. It makes it so you don't actually ever hear that person. And really love is understanding and understanding is love. So if you don't ever put yourself in a position to understand someone else's point of view, or you don't try to, like just accept them for who they are, and you're always envisioning this version of them in your head that is so perfect. You are going to fail them. They will not feel seen, they will withdraw, and they will not be attracted to you, and you won't get what you want because you are people have done it to you. Probably I was thinking, oh my god, people have done this to me before, where I get to know a guy who I can tell has had a lot of fantasies about me in his head, and then I feel like, oh my god, I can't live up to this. I start to feel that way. Then I get insecure, but then I always walk away from it, being like, man, they just want it. They they I couldn't. I'm not as good as they. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for that because they seem to think I'm something else. And then so you're doing that to people if you ever fantasize. So I've had to stop these little little trips I take in my head almost on a dime, and not even romantically. I mean, like I've been doing some visualization about this big thing I have coming up where I'm like, I imagine myself fucking killing and just and and that's different because I think, because I struggle with, Okay, what's manifestation and then what's fantasy? Why are those different? Because manifesting is like living as if it already happened, and it's I think the difference is that manifestation feels awkward and fantasy feels real good. So for me to fantasize about me killing it at this thing feels really awkward to me. But I'm doing it because I know if it's hard to do, it's probably good. If it feels easy and soothing and you get a dopamine hit and you feel the direct relaxation down your spine, it's probably not good. Wow. And So the thing that she talked about that I couldn't that blew my mind was that if stop think, stop presenting to people, so to not to not set up people to disappoint you and to feel disappointing because of what you expect from them. Never never tell them thank you for something they didn't do. Only speak from a place of what you can judge. So, Mom, if I came to you and I was crying about something going on my life and you sat and listened. I can't say I should not say to you, thank you so much for being there for me and really understanding what I'm going through. That is me a that I do that you understood it. All I can thank you for is thank you for coming over to my apartment and looking at me when I talked and listening though, But I don't even know if you were listening unless I have actual evidence that you listened. Gotcha, You can't because that is setting me up to assume something about you and live in this limerence of like my mom and I had this like I can say it felt really good that you were here and that I perceived you as listening to me, because that's my truth. It's like you could only talk from a place of what you experience. But that blew my mind that you can't just like tell people like, thank you so much for for thank you so much for being such a good friend. They might not be such a good friend. They might just feel obligated to do that because you moved them into their house last week, so they're just fulfilling an obligation. They might not just be doing this out of being a good friend. You have to let them say so you can't. This will help your life to address the world as you observe it and not as or as you are experiencing it in facts that someone in the court of law would be like, Okay, yes, all we have proof of is that Julie came over and looked at her and appeared to be listening, right, But she just sat there and looked at her and said, uh huh wow after everything, But it doesn't we don't know. So you just you have to live in this world where you're kind of telling yourself the truth all the time about things. What do you think? Uh, I think that it sounds like, uh impossible. Yeah, it sounds really different. That's what she says. It literally is impossible to do. Yeah, because we are projecting our experience onto other things constantly and we don't even know it.

We just wanted to be lovely and we wanted to be like, are that she's she is a good friend?

Yes, we just assume it. But what you're doing is you're saying that she's a good friend, and then if she's not, if that's not her experience, but she feels like we don't know now I'm how many times have you been told Julie you're such a good friend? And you think I don't even like this woman? Course that well, you might like her more if she said thank you for showing up, Julie and didn't say thank you for being a good friend. Can do you know what I'm saying, thanks for showing up, Thanks, thanks for showing up today, thanks for helping me move this stove, as opposed to thanks for being such a good more for loving me so much, and you go, I don't love you at all, bitch like that drives you away from her, As opposed to, you might become closer to someone who just is calling out the things as they are and as you experience them too, just saying facts. I liked it. It was radical interesting. Yeah, Heidi pleab. If you want to check out what I'm talking about and actually hear a smart person discuss it, it's her video on liber limerens l I M E R E n CE. She's brilliant. I'm obsessed with this. Wow, We'll be back. So we are back on tour, Brian and I this weekend coming up Gary, Indiana Friday.

Finally, Yes, Indiana. In a long time. But this is technically not really even Indiana. Gary is basically Chicago, Chicago, y yo, it is.

That's where Michael Jackson's from.

Oh yeah, yeah, go go see his boyhood home you too, Yeah, where so many great things happen. A lot of things good happened there. Sure we know better.

Just the word boyhood and Michael Jackson don't really go well together. But yeah, poor kid, Yeah, poor kid, poor thing, what he went through. Aren't you going to Cincinnati? Yes, Sintannie on Saturday, and then my mom and dad will also be there. So if you want to see Jules.

And Eves.

Snattie at the hard Rock Live. So we've got Gary, Indiana Friday night, Sary Indiana. You know there's a song about India, now I do. It's from Uh, don't tell me what I know?

I know.

You don't that. How do you plead?

Do you?

No? Cincinnati is gonna be great. Yeah, it's gonna be so fun. And I love staying at these hard rock casinos really, yeah, because like it's the everything's hard rock, everything's like themed. You were there at one, yeah? Was that the one?

We got it a lobster dinner.

Yeah, you were getting lobster, surf and turf baby, which you can't do anymore.

I can't do that any Mom's a Basketarian.

Oh I guess you could still get the lobster. Yeah. I had lobsters the other night. Oh, good for it. Yeah, I'm not Did you get was that on sale at aldi?

That was at Aldie. I was the frozen Hole lobster for ten ninety nine.

I was at the hard Rock in Florida this weekend. Really yeah. I went to the casino and I got policed at the blackjack table. I am not happy about hard rock.

Brian. What are we doing with the gambling? Where are we at? Because you know, between you and me and everyone listening you, you were doubting if you should be doing this anymore.

No, it's bad for my health. And I do sometimes have limerens with gambling where I place a bet and then I and then I just feel like I already won the bet. Yeah, I already have the two hundred dollars, So let me make more bets based on the fact that I already won this bet that I placed. And isn't it funnished yet? Yeah? Exactly. Sometimes that happens.

I'm going to scar.

It works, but no, Blackjack is a is a loser's game. You're gonna you gotta. The goal in blackjack is to just try to lose as slowly as possible. Yeah, the goal is like, Okay, I sat here for two hours and lost all my money instead of losing all my money in ten minutes. And that's nice, But for your health, no, I feel like I'm today I'm getting I have an enlarged dioritic root, which is like a heart condition I was born with. And I feel like today I'm getting my heart scanned. I get my heart scanned every year to see if my root has grown. And I'm worried because all the gambling, it makes your blood pressure go up, It puts you in this stress level, makes your heart rate go up, and I've been gambling so much lately that I'm a little worried that about my latest scan.

Vibe.

Yeah, well, God's that's what you were saying that you were like, I have a heart condition. I don't think four hours of being tense about this basketball.

Game because I thought there was no downside to gambling on sports because I always win. But there is a downside, and it's just not financial It takes away health, your time, your health, your your mental state. It takes away all those things. So every time I said there's no downside to gambling, even though I was being facetious and you know, flip about it, I did believe it. And now I realize I've changed my mind. There is a downside to gambling. It could kill you, ruin your life and your relationships, and waste all your time.

Yeah, that's why, final thought. That's why when you check into it like a hard rock hotel.

Why don't they give you a free gambling money. That's something they should think.

I was gonna say, that's a dumb question, but I guess that's me putting too much on my feet. Actually, do give away money if you belong to these clubs. Yes, well that's Spade's joke about like he goes to It's my favorite joke. By the way, Spade and I are going to be in Vegas at the Venetian in May and then also another date throughout the year. But you should come out and see that show for sure. But he has this great joke about about his buddy's Like, man, I go to Vegas all the time. I'm a big roller. You know, they fly me out comped and he goes, oh, really, that's seventy five dollars Southwest flight and they go, yeah, you gotta roll with me. I'm a big roller. Then ground transportation too, in from the hotel. Oh that four minute car ride and it keeps like poking holes. I'm like, the casinos know what they're doing. They're not just giving there, never giveaway that money. Yeah, but yeah, it's it's it's a problem. It's so funny that there are signs of like, do you have a problem gambling all over all asinos.

Yeah, it's.

Sporting on cigarettes.

It's almost the way to get You'd be like, well, if they're putting out all the warnings and I don't buy that means I don't probably have it. They probably would know if I had a problem and someone would stop me. That's not me. Yeah, the signs just make you feel like you don't have a problem.

Okay, maybe, but like it's just such a they're really worried about you. Yeah, they really want you to get help if you have a problem. Those signs in the cause it's just so stupid that we I think insurance they probably absolutely.

The sign should just say like, are you a loser? Are you? Are you a loser? You know? Or you're like it's a bully in middle school, Like a bully in middle school, and like you're walking around like no one who actually has a gambling problem is going to be like, oh eight, that sign asked me if I had a gambling problem, and I do. No one's going to admit that. They're going to feel like it's an attack on there. It's like it's like asking an older man, you know, if they need a call and or something. It's like, well, I don't need a colonoscopy, if that makes sense.

I don't know if that tracks for me, but I'm glad it did for you.

Let's just confuse Nikki in this segment.

Yeah, you're lucky you don't even care about gambling.

I'm lucky. I don't. Yeah, I mean I just feel so bad to lose. Yeah, it's like a hangover. Like I quit drinking, not because the drinking part, but because of the hangover. Gotcha, I quit. I was recalling the other day to my friend about because she like loves candy and has a problem sometimes with eating too much of it, and she was going buck wild after Valentine's Day because she bought a bunch of candy hearts and that the marked ones. Yeah, you know it, the ones I say, I live. Yeah, so it smeared. Yeah, she went buck wild on some and I was like, girl, I've been there, Like I know, candy hearts are a thing that some people don't really go hard on, but man, they are my fit, that schalkiness. When they're a little stale too. I like them, I love them and so but I don't do them anymore because I went so hard one year. I got a whole bag, like you know, like a big bag that you would like a bulk bag, and I ate them all and I got a hangover from them. And I hadn't drank for years and years, so it was the first time I had felt that, like a searing headache. The next day sick but like couldn't look up straight because my head hurts so much, and it was from all the sugar. And I really can't even touch them anymore because it's just I'm so scared of that feeling. So for me, if my body gives me a searing headache as a result of something, I will quit it on the spot. Wow And I wish that it'll be easy. I would love if it gave me more headaches for things, yeah, because I would quit things. But when it's until it gets to that point, me keep going. But yeah, like I uh that I've overdone it on those.

And sometimes psychosomatic reactions benefit you, Like I I have a action to high frupittose corn syrup that I know is psychosomatic. It gives me brain fog whenever I have and even if I don't know that it has it in there, if I.

Just eat it can't psychosomitic.

It is my body, I guess just knows. I don't know how, but.

Because that's a't psychosmatic when you Oh.

No, I don't even know how my body does it, but my I get brain fog whenever I eat high fructose corn syrup and anything. Even if it's like I find out after I ate it that i'd had it, I'm.

Like, oh yeah, that's like you're just like you look at the label, you remember what you're talking about, Like you seem like a stoner, Like what's brain fog?

Brain fog? Yeah, it's like, yeah, you just feel out of it. It's like being when you get like.

Four hours in your brain.

Yeah, exactly, you can't do wordle.

I don't know.

Oh that's good. That's a good indication.

Yeah, when you can't do the wordle, no, you know how you like you have four hours of sleep and then you're just sluggish and slow and you can't think and nothing's coming to you.

Yes, because that sugar brain fog is okay.

Yeah, but because of that, I have not eaten anything with high fryptose corn syrup in like ten twenty years.

Wow, it's in everything.

It's it's amazing. Yeah, I'm not a purpose on purpose. Sometimes it happens by accident.

I want that.

I want to do that. I could do all the work that it takes to like train on high fructose corn syrup and do exposure therapy and get it back so I don't have a reaction to it. But what's the point.

What's the point?

Just utilize exactly.

It's it's like, okay, yeah, that's really good. I can't fall asleep without a sleep mask on my brain to do that. But now because I like it, Because when I do have a sleep mask on, my body knows it's time to go to sleep, and you can if I don't have one, I have to wrap a towel around my head or something and I have to like make shift one and that's not great. So I always carry like five on me at a time, just in case I lose them. But they are so Yeah, there's certain things that my body is like learn it's time.

You're like baby sleep habits, Oh baby, yeah.

Although I've been waking up a lot recently and just like with anxiety in the middle of the night. Oh, a lot on your plate. I do have a lot on my plot. But I've been like kind of loving my life recently. I go on the road on the weekends. I work hard. I play I don't even play hard. I just work hard doing the shows and then we get to hang out with friends and then we drive to the next venue and you travel all day and then you get I get one day off a week, which is perfect, and that day I am flying. And so some people would go, Nikki, that's not a day off. You need to be a static, But to me, flying is a day off because no one can get you. And on your day off, you have to go to the grocery store and you have to meal plan and you've got to go to home goods and pick up you know, stuff for your pots on your front porch. I don't got to do shit because I'm flying southwest through three different cities and so there's nothing I can do. You're the only one that feels that's my favorite day off. No, because in our house, day off equals gotta go hiking. Oh, that's true. You gotta go see bald eagles out in southern Illinois.

That's true.

I don't want to go do that shit. That's what days off mean to people. And I want to be in the air. Yes, you're controlled by the airplane. By yeah, and then all week I'm just doing voice lesson podcasts, pilates, orange theory, here and there, and by here and there, I mean one time, never going back, getting coffee, writing music box boats. Hey, don't call me out. I am all stuck up. Today I got botox. I was gonna get filler. I opted out. Ladies, if you need someone to encourage you not to get filler, I was about to get it today in my lips. And then I texted Anya and I go, did you get filler last time you went? And she was like, no, I haven't gotten filler for years, and I was like, and then I my niped lips are numb right because they put the numbing cream on because they're gonna poke you in the face with it. And I went out to the lobby and I go, I don't want to get filler anymore. Okay, let's wipe it off. And I felt so bad. They were so nice about it. Shout out to Jenet front Neck. So I just got a bunch of botox, not even a bunch, just a little bit. Ye.

And I only know because I picked you up there.

Yeah, And Anya said, I think you're just going through something emotionally, because I was like, she was like, why do you need it? And I was like, I just want something different on my face, Like I just want to look at something different. I'm tired of seeing pictures of me. I want to look something. And she was like, I think you maybe just need to like calm down.

Maybe you just need to go there and then say hi and walk out and feel like I've been there.

I did get a facial tune. It was amazing. Oh a hydro facial It looks good. It was so good. I'm very happy. But yeah, if you want to go on the YouTube right now, and see me be stung up. I got botox, but it will not show up for eleven to fourteen days, so see the results in two weeks. I'll see there on YouTube. Thank you for listening to the show today. We'll be back tomorrow. We're going to be in Gary, Nian and Cincinnati, Ohio this weekend Friday and Saturday with Brian Frangie and Anya Marina. Get tickets at nikiklazer dot com. Dun'ti ka and just just fight Me

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Every Monday through Thursday, comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced 
Social links
Follow podcast
Recent clips
Browse 518 clip(s)