The Nikki Glaser Podcast#359 Gooning, Gilgo Beach Murderer Fun Facts, Shouting Matches & TMI on Instagram
Nikki notices Brian's "buff"...it doesn't have anything to do with his body. Nikki finds that women preen when they like a guy. She shares a new hack for "gooning" longer while masturbating. Brian shares funny facts about the Gilgo Beach murderer. This leads Nikki into getting into the concept of no free will and why she'd love an execution. They talk about crying and intense couple arguments. Nikki talks about her Family Feud appearance and how much she loves her family. In the Final Thought they discuss Bebe Rexha giving TMI on IG.
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The Nikky Griser podcast, nik Gleaser, here's Nikki. Hello, welcome to the show. It's Nick Lays a podcast. I'm here in Los Angeles with Brian Frangie next to me. What's up? Do you just decided to throw on the sun hat over the headphones?
Yeah it doesn't fit.
Nope, it doesn't. You got a wain ask?
Yeah, well it's hot out. It's one hundred degrees so that's a way damn degrees sleep.
You dress like you're going on an expedition in the Arctic most of the time, and it's one hundred and ten degrees outside.
Now you know what, I dressed like an eighty five year old man going to the beach. Yeah, that is it. I don't want any sun to touch my skin at all.
You over, no, okay, just leave my visiline on the floor. It's fine, it's fine. You only want to touch that. Yeah, you just like to cover up. You don't want to get sun exposure.
I don't want to put on sunscreen because then I get all sticky and then what I hate about sunscreen is about around four pm m you start it starts dripping into your eyes and then you start having an eye pain and you start tearing up and I don't want to deal with that. Is that so much task?
That's why you wear so many layers because you have a You have a scarf that Noah pointed out, but you said, it's not a scarf, it's a buff buff. What's the difference between a buff and a scarf?
Well, a buff is made of cooling, moisture wicking material that you can wet and it'll keep you cool if you wet it with wet ye cold water.
That feels good.
Yeah, that's nice. And my my shirt is also very breathable. It's probably actually cooler to wear this shirt than to wear like a cotton T shirt.
Why not white though? Wouldn't a white color be butter for not overheating?
I don't own a white one.
Okay, Well that makes sense.
Ryan is highly flammable right now. All these materials will just ignite if you.
What is everybody saying, aren't you hot? And search?
So we know that those are.
What I have a question though, sometimes when people walk into this room that we are so frequently in here, you will put the buff over your mouth.
Yeah, sometimes I do that?
Is that a what what you look like? You're about to rob a bank. It looks like you're a little a bandit on the run. Is that because sometimes you'll do it and it's like almost like you want to protect them from your breath or you're worried about COVID or something, and and I can see them like tense up, like what did I say? What did I do wrong? But is it just a nervous habit.
I don't know if it's nervous.
I'm throwing nerves on it. Yeah, I think nervous.
I don't know why I just do it. I was going to say it's because someone comes in here and stinks.
Yeah, because they're far away. I thought that too, But.
No, it's just it's I think it's a little fun. You know. I get bored sometimes and you know, pass the time. I'll put my buff in different positions.
Okay, well I'm going to just so much more fun. Why did you say it does make things so much more fun?
Yeah, things are just I've never had so much fun in prison. Yeah, it a new period. So every once in a while, Yeah, it's it's something to play with. I play with my necklaces. Girls have things to like play with. Maybe he plays with their hair all the time, right, that means she likes you.
Yeah, well yeah, if you're if you're a peacock.
Yeah, well no, you don't even mean to girls just start like kind of preening.
Yes.
Is that the word when when you like a boy you just start kind of like trying to make it look better. I guess. But you're also nervous, so you're just.
Like somebody I do this. I just rub my arms, yes, a lot of arm rubbing.
Well, I think you do that because you're like trying to draw attention to your arms and your skin, and you're trying to be like like it's like almost a sexual movement. Yes, is how I think that's it. I've done that before.
Do you guys know the hug position in sex? No, like to comfort yourself, you can go like this.
These okay, so you put your cross, your hands across your chest. Okay, what and.
Then and then it makes your body it's your yeah, and then it should soothe you. Oh yeah, but it doesn't work.
I don't think that that would make me. So it's almost like when you're you try to make it look like you're making out with yourself from behind. I feel like I've seen Nicky in this position. I do that a lot. Yeah, I get I crunch up in a little ball. I'm feeling anxious, I want Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I'm trying to get hugged by myself.
What is there tell when you're like attracted to someone, Nikki, Have you ever been dumb that you do a certain.
I don't make eye contact and I'm really mean to them and they have no idea. No, I think I play with my hair and I'm I'll uh a smile lot, and also try to seem disinterested in them, not make honestly, not make too much eye contact, kind and probably talk about sex stuff, try to get the conversation a little bit sexual. And I know that some people. I think in the past you've been like annoyed by girls that do that, Onya. So I'm sorry to say I do that, but I don't do it around people who have.
I've never been like, oh, your boyfriend.
If I advertize sex around Avi or Matt, it's not because I'm wanting to fuck them. It's just because I also happen to be interested in that topic regardless. But I think that when I like a guy, I'll just try to steer it to like not even sex like relationships or like just and it's not for me to be like think about me as your girlfriend. I want to get information about their situation or how they might be in bed, or like if they're a sexual person, and I might try to get them to see me in that light a little bit. I don't know.
I do think I have seen you once in a while be like nervously antisocial, which I'm like, wait, why is she not talking.
Now? I'm always confident anti No, Yeah, I think I I do get quiet and nervous, and I get not funny, like that's there's no funny. You can't mix the two. If I dive a new thing, you guys, if you don't want to come too fast, I figured this out. Did I share this shit? If you're masturbating and you are coming too fast? Aka me recently, and masturbation is one of my favorite things. I like to like spend a lot of time doing it. I like to like what's it called? I think it's called gooning? Yes you can, it's so embarrassing what this term is? What is what gooning is? Like the face you make when you're about to come, and I think they like coined gooning is like when you try to extend Christmas Eve before the Christmas so you just so you're just like, oh.
If you went home and and like your your families out of Christmas decorations, like on December first and go, you guys are really gooning Christmas this year.
I was always trying to goon Christmas. I was always the last one to open present. I never wanted it to end. I'm always the last person to open a present because I want it. I just wanted to last forever. Yeah, and so I've been trying to I've always been very good about not It's also called edging. Edging, Yeah, it's same thing kind of gooning. And I think gooning has a connotation that like somebody.
Sourcing you to goon. Oh yeah, like you're goon is a negative connotation. Edging is like what you'll see on read to be like I edge for forty five days, yes I haven't come yet. And then gooning is like you're just a little piece of shit. Gooning, Yeah, it does have a negative. It can't come well. Goon used to mean like you're a doofist?
Will you look it up? Noah, what the definition of gooning is?
Please?
Because yeah, gooning doesn't sound good.
No, and there's the goonies. Oh okay, really goes on for way too long.
Gooning is a state into which one gets when one is highly aroused. Goooning typically typically describes male behavior rather than female. According to Urban Dictionary.
I'm goon and what's a female goon?
Uh?
Gooness?
Yeah?
But goon and and so I was having a lot of trouble because I think ever after I got that hormone pellet in my ass or whatever, like I can't goon. I'm just like it's I don't know if this is relatable.
I don't even know.
I don't want to get too graphic because I don't. It's just gross. But you know, when you like are about to climax, like I usually have control over that moment, and I can like not. I have a lot of self control. It's almost like anorexic like where you're like, I have a plate of food in front of me, I'm not gonna eat it even though I want it so bad, and I'm like forcing myself not to and I feel like superior, because I'm not like I just I feel in control.
I have no control over it anymore.
In til I realized if I laugh, if I force myself to laugh, even a fake laugh, a fake smile, instantly deflates my arousal wow and takes the pressure away, and then I can continue gooning. And so if you're about to come start laughing, just a fake laugh, because your body can't do both. You're it's it's it's almost it's it's like physically impossible to both laugh and come.
You can't. It's there's, yeah, you can't be horny and laughing at the same time.
Yeah, they're both defenseless or something. There's they're the opposite things. But so I found like the easiest thing.
The other night.
I just was like, oh, this is too soon. I want to watch a couple more videos. I want to extend this because it's like the most fun part. And so I just go like, haha, like to myself, I mean, it's fucking crazy. No, it's not sounding, but it works. So if anyone wants to try that, just laugh or smile. If you're with a person and so you don't want to like laugh weirdly, just smile into a pillow or something and would to God, your body like reacts to your smiling as like we have to turn off the thecomwaves has to stop.
It would be very confusing if someone saw you doing this, you're gooning and you're going crazy.
I hope this hotel room's not haunted because those ghosts have moved onto another room or they're sticking around, because it's very entertaining.
Goon used to mean back twenty years ago, just like a do fiss, like a guy who make it? Oh yeah, like yeah, And in high school, I had this friend who he called me a goon, and I called him a goon, and so we instituted this thing called the Goon Challenge, and throughout our lives. I'm still friends with him. Throughout our lives, we would have these competitions, like even if it's in high school, like we're playing Hangman on the chalkboard before class. Whoever wins that's one point in the goon Challenge, and we kept track of who has more points over the course of many years, and whoever would lose would be the ultimate goon. But where did you off? Well, here's where we left off. We kind of after after the college and stuff. Yeah, and then you know he took his own life because I was yes, no, but uh, after after I went to college or kind of stopped a goon in each other, and I, uh, many years later, I just randomly started sending him anonymous packages from Amazon. You know, you can send a package. You can send an Amazon package to anybody, anyone, anyone you want.
And they won't know the ship it. Yeah.
I just find things on Amazon that say goon on them, or a movie called goon, or a book that has goon in the title, and I anonymously send him one like every few months. That is funny.
Does he not know squad?
Do I?
Jennifer Egan?
I have not sent that yet. I've sent this was.
So hard to get through.
There's a children's book called good Night Goon, which is like the night. Yeah, send him that. There's a hockey movie.
How do you know so many goon book on you? First of all, you as I wish I read, you wrote, Jennifer Egan, you read a book I did, Nikki. No, you always heard like I wish I could read books. I've never heard you reading. Who recommended this one? I've not really heard it.
My friend Heather Larimer in Portland who's very literate, and she recommended it. It's about record a record label person and bands. So it was like I like this, but it was very kid.
It was like Daisy Jones and the.
Six way more aer udite than that.
Don't use that word, noah, look up ade I don't. I like all nose searches will be goon.
It's definition.
Is like it thinks you're more book smart than you are, Like, like, is using the word erde I think it's.
Yeah, exactly, that's exactly what it is.
Well, that's ironic that the word is what it is, like your erudite if you I don't think you were being erudite, but it's it was.
Just having or showing great knowledge or learning.
Ah, so yeah, you're kind of that word. Yeah, that's an a word. I remember it from the SATs, but I didn't quite remember what it means.
My new word that I'm trying to use a lot. Oh fuck, what was iton?
No?
Well that's after today, for sure. What was it? It's something that Sam Saharas said the other day and now I forgot it, but I wrote it down and I was really good. I can't believe I remembered it. It's so hard to pick up a new vocab word and use it.
Yeah, I forgot what the number was. But it's like you're the average human only has like six hundred words total or something stupid like that.
Whoa spurious?
Oh curious slam heresy?
Yeah?
Do you know what that means?
You guys?
Anya probably does.
That's another sat word, but I don't remember what it means.
I think it means like like you're a liar. Oh sorry, I was gonna guess liar, Like you're a spurious? Claim is splantaneous? I think it's like you're just yeah, you're full of false information?
Well, furious means that you're what's the US suffix? I don't know what it means. I can't figure it out Latin.
We're such idiots. I'm gonna look at false or fake?
Is okay?
Spurious? That's a good spurious.
You know what assiduous means? Uh?
I know what deciduous means. It means a tree in a forest with a bunch of green. Yes, so assiduous assiduous.
No, assiduous means hard working, like you're buckling down, you're an assiduous worker. Man. I only gets that from one of the SATs because my friend used to say aciduous down and work.
That's good. That's like when people trying to remember the strains of weed. And it's like Sativa is wait, no, Indica is in the couch. Oh, but then Sativa, I'm always like, I mean sat in the couch. Yeah, both of them sound like you're just in the couch.
Why are we so stupid? And I'm when I say we, no, I mean human things, like we need to have some dumb nursery rhymes, remember a word.
Because there's too many things. There's too many things now you we used to just have to know, Like we didn't even have words. We used to just grunt and like know what berries would make us vomit?
Do we die berries anymore?
Well, you went on, you became like an expert hiker.
Didn't you go see my hat?
Okay, he learned all of this, how to dress for the heat and stuff like this. He does no more than us because he went on a survival took.
Well, I took the Club Wilderness Travel course. There's a three month intensive backpacking course that UH culminates in uh, snow camping in the mountains and me and Ali took it. Ali is such a trooper for taking this. She was like, what is this? And then I signed her up Jesus Christ and we did this course and it was way more intense then we thought it.
No, Ler just wait, no, she likes she likes outdoor stuff. She likes outdoor stuff, but this was like intense. This was and literally literally in and out of tents and we uh we we were gonna quit at points.
But like and also it's like the people were nice. There was plenty of nice people. But you know when people sign up for a class like this or a club like this, you know there's always gonna be several Well, there's show offs and then there's several just insufferable people.
Tell us about one of them, well.
One of them like supported Russia and the war in Ukraine and talking. I didn't know she was into that kind of thing. He was actually pretty nice. But like, you know, sometimes stuff like that would come up, and then like there is just I called it a culture of darkness. Yeah, where they were just so they wanted you to wake up at like two o'clock in the morning so you can get to the trailhead at four o'clock in the morning, so you can start hiking before the sun rose. And I would get there and I'd be like, why are you doing this? Like this isn't fun to torture yourself.
Well, that's why I would ask you why, Yeah, why do they do that? But but why did you even do this thing that they could do that to you? You like a certain amount of torture.
I wanted to learn. I wanted to learn what all you learned?
What could you tell us from your wilderness training that like is important for someone. I just read last night that people are going to Death Valley for like the hottest place in the world. Yeah, as just like a tourist. It's trending into like a tourist trap to like I'm going to this place that's like one hundred and fifty degrees outside and there's only three gas stations for an area the size of like the Grand Canyon, and there's all this. Like this person was like, I'm from this area, do not go here as a tourist, And they're like, if you're if go to a car that is like so brand new, like that you trust because it's like so dangerous, and they were giving all this advice. You need three gallons of water per person in the car, if your car, if they don't drive on a spare tire, if you're if you can, you imagine driving into the Death Valley and then you get a fucking flat and then you keep going. They were like, if you get a flat, turn back around. It's like, yeah, no.
Shit, I'm going to Death Valley New Year's Eve this year. Okay, yeah, I have a whole plan. Well it's it's the National Parks and I'm going to have to go to all the National park Yeah you do, and we are. We are going to rent a jeep to go to like the I think that person was like a little bit maybe like over zealous. Yeah, yeah, how dangerous it is. There's like two little towns that are in Death Valley that you can stay at like a nice like spa. I mean it's like it's not quite like that, really, Yeah, it's more like it's almost like if you.
Know we're death it is.
Yeah, well that's why it's so cool. Yeah, if you go in the middle of summer, it'll be like one hundred and fifty degrees and you'll burn up and die. But if you go in like the winter time, like seventy degrees.
I have a question.
You went with Ali for three months on this venture.
It's like once a week for three months. It's like you have in you have seminar in person seminars like classes on Wednesdays, and then the weekends you do excursions where you camp and you learn how to you know, make a fire and keep protect yourself.
Do you watch alone the show?
I haven't watched it yet, but Nikki had many times.
Yeah, and treated so curious how long you can survive? Okay, we have to take a break. Let's talk more about survival when we get back. Get back, all right, we're back, okay, So what did you learn in this wilderness course that you could teach us?
Well? Filter the rules of three, the rules of three. I know the t the ten essentials. What's the rules of three?
The rules of three?
From what I learned is you can only survive like in the extremes, three hours without shelter, three days without water, and thirty days without food, thirty.
Days without Oh yeah we've done that, Niki.
Well that's right to me, not true? Yeah, okay, three days without water. That seems kind of long.
Yeah, I mean, you probably get heat stroke or something before you died of start.
I think hypothermia sounds like the best way to die, because apparently most people are found with all their clothes stripped off because you start to feel like you're hot, yes, and then you just curl up in the snow and you like have you know, people who have been on the brink of dying have reported that it's like really warm and sunny and a lovely like kind of passing away. You get, uh, you get you know, you start hallucinating and it's it's kind of lovely. Yeah, I mean, but he does sound good. He strikes almost.
You're just hilarious. You fall off a cliff if you have huge true, oh Jesus Christ, if you have heat stroke, you will just you won't die from the heat stroke. You'll probably fall off a cliff and hit your head on a rock and die that way.
Because you're just so weak and you're still trying.
To stumbling around. You don't know what's going on, you don't know where you are.
You try to top on a cactus trying to get the water out of that.
Yeah, No, it's not good that it would give me nothing.
I've been trying to get a reception on my phone.
And just like fly off, trying to post on TikTok. Yeah, yeah, I uh did.
Yeah.
I was going to bring up the death that I read about this weekend. Then I sent my friends this woman was like sleeping in some grass, some tall grass, like a homeless woman.
Okay.
And by the way, she didn't go home. Oh no, she didn't look almost because they were like, well, that's the new thing home. Anyone can be homeless now because our fucking society is so fucked up. So there's recent pictures of people who are homeless that do not look homeless because they weren't homeless a week ago, but they are homeless because they can't fucking afford to live anymore. So she was like pictured. Her last picture was like at a party with a guy. She has like a normal outfit on. She has like a plate with like some food on it. And that was like the picture they showed at least that I saw. And then now she's homeless and someone was a huge John Deere tractor and apparently her family was like there were chunks of her everywhere. God, But then they had a picture of her jeans that she was wearing and like her top, and there was no there was no blood or anything on them. So I don't know what what was what, But it was in Modesto, California, where Scott Peterson allegedly killed Lacy.
Oh my god, not even allegedly.
I think he's convicted, but my friend Taylor McGraw says that he's innocent, So who the fuck knows.
I've watched two Scott Peterson documentaries and what are you?
Very confusing? It's so confusing.
By that time you were watching, you're like, oh my god, there might not have been time for him to do it. He really was gone.
Taylor said, just because someone is cheating and there gets murdered does not mean they did it. It could just be a coincidence. Just because you're googling chloroform a life insurance policy before they die, it could be coincidental. There is someone out there that has googled chloroform or just been interested in like is maybe and just their wife happens to go missing, Yes, and then it looks so bad. Everyone thinks you're guilty. But like, there is at least one situation out there where that is coincidental, And that's what Taylor says, is like's not, it's just coincidental that he was cheating on his wife and lying about it and all these things and wanting to get out and then she goes missing.
Yeah, he's gone for an hour when Lacey's home, and he's like riding his boat around the bay. And then there's this robbery that happens across the street from Lacey's house with these guys in a van and they're loading shit from the house across the street, and Lacey goes, what are you guys doing? What are you doing? And a person, a neighbor drives by sees Lacey crouching near the van, looking scared, and they're like it looked like she was urinating or something.
That she looked afraid.
This story, they wouldn't admit that into court because of some weird thing like, but it's in one of these documentaries that the neighbors like, I drove by and I saw Lacy talking to these guys and she looked a little scared and I couldn't tell.
And somebody else was like, I saw Lee scared.
Anytime I'm talking to men in my neighbor's driveway.
Yeah, and that's also right around that time she was murdered.
I look scared all the time. If I got murdered, people would be like I saw Nikky earlier day at Starbucks looking scared talking to the barista about how this was supposed to.
Be almond milk.
Like it would everyone would be implicated because I just look like a guilt Like I'm just like crown by everyone. Yeah, you know, do you mind if do you guys have an extension court? I'm sorry forgot whatever?
Do you apologize quite frequently?
Yeah? I do, Yeah, but I am genuinely sorry. No, it's existing. It's my mom's dad's fault. They got a little randy on September eleventh. I think I was conceived on their anniversary, the year anniversary of their wedding, because it kind of back.
To September eleventh.
Well, yeah, my parents anniversary is September eleven.
Oh my god.
I've always known that day as a tragedy.
That's my joke.
But yeah, my other joke is that on their anniversary every year, I you know, ride on their car with like white shoe polish, like happy anniversary, and they have to just drive around all day, but that would be so awful. The two towers of your life, yeah they are. I'm building seven and I don't know what any of this is, so I forget what I was saying.
But you're always apologizing. But I think it's because it's yes, you're apologizing for your existence, but you also you're recognizing when other people might feel like a little bit bad, and so you you're you're just acknowledging other people's experiences by apologizing more so than I think most people would.
Yeah, I'm very aware, but I don't like to pat myself on the back about being like I'm so intuitive about how people feel. But I feel like I might be I don't know how other and maybe and I'm projecting a lot of times like I would feel this way. But I like to get ahead of anyone possibly thinking I'm a bit or having and not to control the narrative about me so much because I don't. I kind of don't care when I find out people think I'm a bit. I don't care if I was one. I'm just like, Okay, well that's fine. I've kind of let that go. But I just don't want people to think like the other day, I changed my mind about something that a lot of people had prepared something for, and I felt bad because people had gotten to work early, they had put a lot of work into, like thinking that I was going to do this thing, and then at the last minute, I was like, I don't want to do this at all. I'm so mad. I should have said no to this at the first start of the thing. And so I had to send a lot of text apologizing to each person that was involved. Yes, just in case they thought I carelessly was just like, you know, disregarding of their time and not and not caring, because that would make me feel shitty. I would just have I would be like, and I think when you're I think it's easy for people to think that celebrities think that they're better than everyone else, and there they don't care about other people. And sometimes I don't like, sometimes you get treated so nicely, you forget that all the work that goes in to treat you so nicely. Yes, and I like to try to remember that, I guess, but I can be bad about it sometimes.
One of your generous with an apology, Yeah.
Yeah, you know. Thanks. One of your goals in life is to have some on some set somewhere where you're not on it. The hair and makeup person says, I met Nikki Glazier and they go, oh, how was she, and then go, she was actually really nice. Yes, that's your goal.
I like, it always comes back to me when people. I saw someone the other night and he said, my girlfriend was a makeup artist for you on some project. And I was like, and of course, I don't even know why I got tense. I've never once been rude to a makeup artist, and maybe maybe I have unintentionally, but never intentionally. And I was still nervous. But he was like, she said, you were so nice, and I was like, ah, and I yeah, I do. I get off from being one of the celebrities that people have nice things to say about whatever. Just watching it.
Yeah, I was just watching an episode of The Car Now she ends up and getting into this season, and you kind of overlook moments when people might be rude. But there's this one scene when Chris is getting her makeup done by this guy, and he's like, they cut off the scene, but it's right when he goes it was so lovely meeting and she completely ignores him and she's like, let's go shopping. Girls like completely ignores him twice. And it was one of those things where if you're watching the show, you wouldn't even notice it and it would be like a nothing moment.
But I was saying that.
Was really rude, Like, yeah, he was talking to her and he's like, you look beautiful. She doesn't address him. She goes, I look amazing, and then he goes it was so lovely meeting and she's just onto the next thing. Nothing just gets out of the chair.
I kept myself doing that a lot, where I just don't I'm just focused on what's next and I don't hear the person next to me, and so I can come off as rude and it's unintentional. This weekend, Carlisle, I was over at her apartment and I was just feeling low and she's like, you need to do like an NA d like a a V drip, and so she's like, let me just call and so she calls this like med spawn. She's like, you know, has them on speaker and she's asking this girl all these questions about NAD and it ends up being like seven hundred and fifty dollars you can get an a NAD push into your IV that you're already getting. But this is NAD. I don't it's like energy. Yeah, it's like energy. It like helps with brain fog. None of this stuffs I really believe. I think it's all placebo.
That's like a ball, like I know in yeah, it should shape that, but it's na D.
I don't know how you. I don't think people are that like focused on balls.
You're upset, I'm spurry.
So NAD. She's like, get it. She's like, if I had your money, I would do this every day. She's always telling you that. She's like, if I had your money, I would do this to my neck, I would do this to my face. I'm like, are you thinking what I should do to my days? And nick? But she's always telling me things like that. So she's like, let me just call, and so she calls and this girl is like giving us all this information, talking for so long, and then I just go to Carlis, I'll go I'm not gonna do it, and she's like, Okay, thanks bye, and like just hangs up on her really quick, and the girls like have a great day, you know, like hangs up and I go Carla. That was so rude. She was just focused on doing what I was telling her to do, so she wasn't focused on the girl on the other line. So she just hung up on this girl. And I'm always when there are people that help me on a phone call, I'm always like, I wait for the thank you have a good day. You have a good day too. I really appreciate your time. Like I like to give them something so they don't. So they don't cause I know the telemark erters have lost faith in the world. Sure people are screwed to them all day long, and I go call out. You can't if someone has given you seven minutes of their time going over their menu, what this thing does for you, how the ivy's work, the pricing plan, it doesn't matter if you're not going to use it. You have to thank them for their time. And you know, I know it's their job. But like I do hang up sometimes when I get up spam call and she's like, Hi, this is Tefan. I honey, I'm sorry, sorry, I can't do this right now, bye, and I will hang up without getting out. Her response from that's.
Different because that's that's someone trying to sell you something. This is a receptionist mm hmm, who like unwilling, like just just took the call.
Yeah, Carol, Yeah, you called her and that girl could have customers lining up in front of her who she's giving like the one minute finger two because she's talking. We've all been into a place where they're on the phone with someone who's asking about every fucking detail of their menu, and you're like, bit's just look online.
Right, Why does the phone get precedence for the person who's actually there. The phone always gets precedents.
Because it's ringing and it's annoying.
But I like, al yeah, sometimes they say hello, this is the VET, please hold, and then they put you on hold.
And then I'm in the counter and I'm freaking out because that person's been on hold way too long.
They got a dying God. I've not got either side.
Oh, I stress out. I just don't get the call and just take care of it. I'm I'm sorry, I'm even here.
I meant to bring up though, another thing, another topic. Yeah, the gil Go Beach murderer, Long Island's most famous unsolved murder. This he was caught.
I don't know about this girls chat referenced it and I just called it like the dildo beach murder. They were making dildo references. I haven't heard about this. What is this?
He is a guy who turns out he looks like exactly what you think a serial killer would look like every fucking time. Just describe him. You've never seen him, right, Okay, describe this guy.
Bald, beautiful, uh like, age spots all over uh no, iris just all pupil molestered glasses, that's okay, scraggling like unkept hair. Let's go unkempt hair, yes, blondish I think so.
Yeah, I'm not trying.
Just messed up.
Yeah, borderline obs.
Yes, yes, border like like like a bigating man. Oh really?
Yes?
And what was heming?
Thee?
There is?
But he normally has glasses too, and he's an he looks like a football coach. He's an architect.
Oh wow, he's not. You could tell he's probably a good looking guy. At one point. I kind of like his hair. It's kind of like dune up hair. It has like, uh, that hair would have been killing it. It's like Rob Thomas hair nineteen ninety nine. Rob Thomas his hair.
Maybe he would have been killing it too.
Yeah, okay, so what did you can't have that kind of long hair if you're a serial killer.
That stuff's falling out and that's very noticeable. And then yeah, dna oh yeah, no, no, well he was, he was. He was very good at hiding his victims. He hid them at Gilgo Beach in the marshes.
And how long was he murdering for?
He murdered From what I understand, I'm no expert, but I believe he murdered four people and he buried them in the marshes. And the thing about the marshes that you bury a body in a marsh, it like decomposes instantaneously, like animals eat it.
It's called a bog body.
A bog body. What's that?
Sounds like exactly tech talk where you try to get like lay in a bog and it like eats your fat or something. Okay, So he knew how to get rid of these bodies fast, I guess so, or he just got lucky.
But he put all the bodies in the same area in Gilgo Beach and they were there for years and he was not caught. That happened in like two thousand and seven. There are four prostitutes yes, so there's more.
You can't just kill four prostitutes over twenty years, no fucking way. There's got to be more.
So there's some funny and also disturbing things from I read the my friend is actually a police officer in Suffolk County where this happened, and he's like giving us all the updates, and I read like the I don't know the police reporter or whatever. And there's a couple of funny things in it. Yeah. One of them is the fourth person that he killed was a prostitute who he went to the prostitute's house to have sex, and she was performing what the report described as a ruse. Okay, she performed a ruse where she had the guy. She didn't know this guy, she was just talking on the phone. She had the guy coming to his house. She's like, give me whatever five hundred dollars and we're going to have sex. And then the guy gave her the five hundred dollars and then she had another man come out pretending to be her angry boyfriend, going oh the fuck is this guy and then kicks him out to kicks him out and they keep the money. Okay, little did she know that this guy already murdered three prostitutes, so.
I think she has a guy there.
Good thing, she has a guy there. But now he's like he's like zeroed in on her, and he he calls her up and says, that wasn't very nice.
Oh wait, she did it to him, and he's scrammed.
He's scrammed, but he's not going to forget. He's not going to forget. And she goes, that's not very nice. Next time we do this, please make sure that your boyfriend isn't there, or maybe he said like, let we'll do it at a different location, a second location. Yeah, no, that wasn't very nice. It's so scary, very nice, so scared when you know that he's a murderer, really scary. So that was It was just funny that they described it as a ruse in the report. Oh and then she got prostitute, this guy cruise. She met up with him again and he strangled her and threw in the morning.
We just say, like I think that we I think society, I mean I know they do. They don't look prostitutes as like real people, and I think that it can be just like, oh, he just killed prostitutes. No, baggie, they're just prostitutes. Do you know that? We're all prostitutes really that just had better lives? Actually, in us, we all could have been prostitutes if we just had shitty parents, no fucking support, our whole lives. Except this one pimp that showed us a little slice of kindness.
We are all.
We are all any anyway. I think sometimes you just think I would never do that. I could never do that. Like these women want to do this, they don't want to do it. They're sex trafficked. They have no other options, and they're no different than you and me, except that they were just born into a better situation. And same with a serial killer. To be honest with you too, h we're all just lucky we did. We're born with a serial killer's brain.
And all of us are just a month away from being like that almost woman who got.
Lawnmower sleeping, And I mean she must have been opioiated out because how do you not hear lawnmower approaching? I yeah, might have been in a deep sleep.
Why do you sleep? And that you shouldn't sleep in the tall grass either, like there's ticks in there. It's not comfortable. You should. I learned this from my she was on.
Drugs, drugs and Brian's So what did you learn? Oh? Uh were ten essentials?
Oh, I'd rather I don't want to say anything about that. Okay, I'd rather, I mean, it's not interesting enough to say. But at the gig beach murderer, I have more information, Please tell I mean, I can tell you the ten essentials, but it's like, okay, bring water.
Would he have sex with them first and then murder them? And how would he murder them? Strangle them?
Strangle them?
Uh.
Another funny thing is that they asked that angry boyfriend who was part of the ruse. Yeah, describe the guy who came over when they were trying to investigate, and he said, uh, he was quote, I'm not saying this. He said this, and it's in the report. He was big and scratch like an ogre. That was I thought that was funny.
He's like have you seen Shrek?
Okay. The other funny thing about these murders is he would only do it, uh when his wife went on vacation. So this guy had a wife. He had a wife, and he was an architect with a wife. And then everyone buildings did he design I wonder the World Trade Center? No he did, Oh my god, he designed I don't know, probably some fucking uh you know, brutalist German bank or something.
There's buildings that you and I use every day that this guy had a hand to make a hand in.
Man.
I'm sure some internet sleuth is going to find out what they are and they're going to become a.
Well.
I do want to, uh say one more thing about his wife. So his wife would go on vacation, and every time she would go on vacation, he would go murder somebody. So the first time she went to Ice, the second time she went to Italy, and it's like, from the wife's perspective, it's like if she just stopped going on all these lavish solo vacations, those women would still be alive.
Eat, prey, murder. Yeah, yeah, blame the woman, Yeah, blame the woman on this one word was he He's like, Oh, they justing to do get They need to murder to feel alive. It becomes like this addiction for them, you know, like they they just want it too bad. They they know it's wrong. They wish I think that some of them wish they didn't have it Jeffrey Dahmer. Just from watching that, you know, the mind Hunter, not even mind Hunter, the one where what's his name isn't it Evan Peters. It just seems like Jeffrey Dummer didn't want to be a murderer. I don't mean to get on this whole high horse of like these people don't choose it, but they don't choose their murderous brain.
They don't want to, like no one wants to have it. Yeah, but they do choose something. It's like if you're a pedophile, you have a pedophile brain. But you can be a pedophile and choose not to do things to kids. You can be abraid.
You don't choose that. Your brain just is lucky enough to be one of the pedophiles that doesn't want that knows a way out, like you don't. There's no free will, but so you don't choose anything. But they have a brain. But yeah, no, yes, you could choose to try to I don't believe in when we say choose, I'm not thinking that it's actually your will choosing, but let's just use that word. Yeah, you could choose to go get help for these things. But imagine telling someone I want to murder, like you can't. There's no safe places for these people to go where they won't be reported, because if someone has homicidal fantasies, they're gonna get reported, sure, So they really have nowhere to go except to other murderers to share or you know, like that fucking Idaho murderer guy. Allegedly he went on subreddits and was like do you.
He he?
What did he ask? He asked something about what it's like he because he investigated murders. He was going to school for criminology, and so he would just go on these chat rooms and like talk about like what do you think they felt after their first murder? And like just wanted to hear about stuff like that. Yeah yeah, yeah, oh god I can. But I also I will just say that I know I can't wait for any information to come out about that or the Delphi murders. Is my is my number one. I want to know what that motherfucker did and how his wife did not notice that he was.
Likes like BTK or whatever his name was.
He he had a daughter and a wife crazy.
I think he had two kids maybe and they were just like this guy and.
He was dormed for like twenty years and didn't kill anyone. But then he just was like someone in the newspaper we're talking about BTK. He had murdered and got away with it forever. Because I was listening to John Mulaney's stand up this weekend and he was talking about old time murders. He's like, it's insane that anyone got caught back then, because there would be there was no DNA evidence, so there would be like a pool of blood and the detective would be like mop this up, yees, like let's draw a white chalk outline around the body. That'll do something like you just like couldn't get caught because there's no DNA. So BTK was getting away with murder literally. And then years go by and someone in the Kansas City Star newspaper was like, I guess this guy died or something. You know, he or he just you know, couldn't do it anymore. And he couldn't stand that because he wanted to control the narrative. He didn't want people to forget what he did, so he started like writing into the Kansas City Star and then they traced one of his dumb letters to a disk drive from his church that he worked at. So if he would have not had an ego about it, he would still be out there.
How does that play into your free will thing? Then if he was able to control himself and not do it for.
Twenty two years, brain that was able to stop doing it for whatever reason, you know, Like he was born with a brain that had the capacity to stop, you know, and some zero killers don't. And some molesters do have a brain like oh, I want to fuck kids, but they whatever, for whatever reason they are, they stumble upon the right information where they're like, oh, there's a group of people that talk about not offending. Oh I'm going to join this. Like you have to be presented with that. You have to you have to have a brain that is capable of even thinking of that way out. So like you know, when you reach for a glass, you don't get to whatever hand do you think you choose to reach that glass with? It's you can go, oh, I'm choosing with my right hand. But what in my brain made me choose my right hand? I wasn't there for that decision. It just showed up.
But you think you have control over it, So I won't get more but practically I don't want to debate it either. But practically speaking, now debate it's just not it doesn't exist. There's it's literally there's no chance. Perhaps you're right about that, but practically speaking, it's just it's not practical way to think about things.
It actually is for me because it makes me feel talk about feeling guilty all the time and feeling sorry all the time. And when I do like this small I forgot to plug in my laptop for or last night, I forgot to plug in my laptop for this, and so we're, you know, fighting against a dying battery. I let myself off the hook for that, because in no world would I have ever chosen to have a half full battery for this podcast this morning. There's no if I had a choice, it would be full. But I forgot to do it. Not because I chose to forget or because I'm a negligent piece of shit. I just didn't remember. And it's not my fault. My brain just wasn't turned on that day. Or if I say something stupid or I'm always I know my.
I just I'm not.
I'm not in charge of my brain. It's just I wasn't you know, I don't. I don't take responsibility for my talents because I just was born with the brain that worked this way and I don't and I don't have that means and it's not often that I do this. But I don't have to take responsibility for my faults either, because I didn't choose to be someone who ran over that kid that July afternoon in two thousand and three. Wait, what does that weigh on you? I don't even know what you're talking about. No, uh so I let things go a little bit easier that I like. I'm trying my best and body bog bots. There's no bogs in my area.
Yeah. So I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum as you.
Yeah.
I think everyone is one responsible for everything they do, even if they're not.
I want you to read this book free will Sam Harris.
Yeah, he's trying. He keeps trying to make me meditate and I ten percent happier. I read that you did.
Let me tread, Brian.
There are a lot of spurious claims there are.
I read ten percent happier and I got ten percent more bored.
Boom.
No, I did actually like it. I actually liked it.
I I have to.
I've been journaling recently a lot more and that's been helping my mental health and uh, and crying, you know, also helps a lot.
That helps them. That's an amazing tool.
What the fuck I know how many times you have to stay it on this podcast. I'm just incredibly amazed at how crying alleviates so much right away.
It's like you take a shitty, it's an emotional shit, and you just.
Feel emptied out afterwards, you feel like bouncier. You just feel and I'm never I don't know why I don't do it. I'm not one of these people that cries and then gets embarrassed afterwards of like I'm sorry I cried, Like I really always just am like, oh good that happened. I don't have any shame around it. I don't get why I'm not crying all the time.
Yeah, no, it's I think it's the same. You know, some couples get into really intense, yelling arguments and then they never related to them and they maybe bang out after that. Oh yeah, Like I think that's the same as crying for them. It's like we have to just do this every once in a while.
I if you're one of those couples out there that can scream at each other. How do you do that and not fear that the person's gonna leave you forever? How the f I whenever I see women that are like, you need to fucking do this, and you never and they like are screaming at a man, I'm like, he's gonna leave you?
What you should well you shouldn't get it. But if they're both yelling at each other and that's just their thing, then there's something like I.
Can't I've never once, I think at one time I've yelled at Chris and it was not even at him. It was like at my therapist and it was supposed to bounce off of her and hit him, you know what I mean, Like it was and he was just like shell shot, like he couldn't even believe he was like what was that like? Where I'm just like and you know this, like, this's the only time I think I've ever raised my voice because I'm scared of being left. Why is everyone just so sure that everyone's gonna stay with them forever?
Why does no one have.
Abandonment issues like me? I would never ever want stand up to myself in a yelly way to almost anyone, but especially a lover, because I'm lucky to even have one.
Mmm, I don't know, I can't. I don't know if that's true. I mean I think, uh, I don't know. I mean your your your relationship has ended and started. So that's probably why you're afraid of that, because it actually has happened.
Yeah, that is a good point, but I just I've yelled at my I can yell at my parents like that because they're never gonna leave. They love me unconditionally. And that's why I don't even know why I have these abandonment issues, because my parents never abandoned me. No, never emotionally, yes, all the time, I mean chronically, but physically they've never left. They're never going to leave until they die. And I don't want to think about that or I start crying. Okay, let's just go to break for a second and talk about this more when we get back. All right, we're back. Do you ever get any screaming matches?
I've done that before. It doesn't feel good, and I cannot recover from that stuff. It takes me like three weeks to regain some sense of like trust in the other person in the relationship.
So I'm not a yeller I had.
You know, I've had a couple friends yell at me before, where I'm like, who do you like your friends put up with this shit like no, no, no, you can't. You can't talk to me like that. That's been the end of those friendships. I have one friend who screamed at me once and we're still friends, but I let her.
Know, this is a boundary of yours.
Yeah, I guess that's a boundary of mine. I keep thinking about that word since the Drama Hill thing.
Yeah, and like what that means.
Yeah, I felt like it was misused in a way, but I'm still trying to and it feels like the whole culture is like that's not a boundary, that's control, but like a boundary to me is something that I put up to protect myself. It's not something that I impose on you, Like you can respect my boundary, I guess or not. But anyway, I have had a friend scream at me, but Matt and I don't do that, Like I really don't like that, but we have. We've definitely said some words to each other before, yes, like loudly and fuck you or fuck off or whatever, but not a lot like I'm like you get one pass.
Yeah, right, Well, we were talking about this weekend on the GC the Girl's Chat, and we're talking about when we get when a conversation well you know, like I you know, you get into something with your significant other end it just is so tense and the one person is annoyed and they're just like, Okay, it's good like that kind of thing, like that shit down like yeah, cool, no, sounds good like that kind of talk where like I mean, I'm.
I'm do it.
Who knows if it's it's probably worse than yelling at someone and telling them how you really feel. It's the other end of that, I guess on the other side of the things, it's just as unhealthy. But what do you do when someone says you're supposed to just probably calmly say I don't really appreciate your tone, or like, based on your tone, I feel like you might be mad at me right now? Can you tell me exactly how you're feeling? Is that what you're supposed to say? That's what I tried to do, that you're sensing them be that way shutting down? Yeah, you say based on your tone. I'm sensing that you're upset with me? Is that true? And could you tell me why? Or points?
I think that points at them, like points to blame at them. I think in that scenario it's best to give them ten minutes and say, hey, how about we take ten minutes and then come back and talk about it.
Yeah. I have a friend that does a lot of that, and I've learned over the years that the best thing to do is just give them a lot of room, because every time I've been like, what is this, it's like a fucking nightmare.
It just gets worse if I point it out.
It's like, have you ever been like really like I don't know, like heat it over something and someone tells you to calm down?
Like what's the thing that you don't do? You don't calm down when someone says it, yes, relax and you just can't.
Yeah, but how are you supposed to ignore it when somebody's just obviously being passive aggressive?
It's like, yeah, I think that's this.
I want to call it out.
I think that you're right. It's something like, well, I since you're being passive aggressive right now, and that is probably going to make you very upset me saying that. So I'm going to take ten minutes and maybe you call me back when you maybe have had a change of heart and you want to talk in a different tone with me. But that seems that I really don't you punishing.
You got to use the magic phrase, which is when you do X, it makes me feel X you oh that I really.
Would like for X, Y and Z.
Yeah.
Right, you are annoying and when you.
Act so fucking annoying, it makes me hate you. I wish you would do things that I liked.
I what about this? This is when I use a lot. I know you're upset with me right now. Will you please take a second to realize that I've literally never in my life tried intentionally to make you mad or to hurt you. It's not within my it's not I've never wanted to hurt you. I've never done anything that I was purposely like. This is gonna make him feel worse about himself. So will you try to understand that maybe if you're feeling that way right now, it was by accident, and you could and I can, and you can find a way to forgive me, because if you if coming from a place of knowing. Do you believe that I would never try to hurt you?
Do you believe that?
Yes? Or no? Yes, I believe that you would never try to hurt me, because why would you be with someone that you think would ever try to hurt you. Let Yes, we've all said mean things. I can say that one time I have actually tried to hurt Chris by saying something, And it was in two thousand and like fourteen, and it was I was really hurt and I said something that I knew would like. It was passive aggressive, and I knew would hurt his feelings. And it was one time that I can even think of that I've ever wanted to hurt this person that I love. And I admitted to it. And it was not a good scene when I admitted to it, but at least but I said from that now you can trust me. I'll tell you if I ever do that again, if I catch myself being purposefully cruel. But if we're working from a place of I'm never trying to hurt you, even if it's subconsciously, maybe I am, at least consciously, I'm not trying to make you mad at me. All I want is for you to love me and never leave me. Can't you see that maybe I accidentally did this thing and you can forgive me for sure. And I think that's how to me a lot, is to remind him because I think a lot of times we get hurt because we think the other person is either you know, careless, meaning they're not trying but they're not actually trying not to right, or they are intentionally being cruel, which is just insane. And if you're ever with someone that repeatedly is intentionally being cruel to you, get the fuck out.
Oh yeah, that's happened to me, right if you're isn't it? But isn't it amazing the restraint of the human race in that any which races? I just want to picture this person, you know, yeah, like the race of men with scraggly hair and glasses, ogres, the race of ogres and that bog brothers. Just think about this every day every day. You can we all have the power to truly hurt the people around us by saying something. Obviously you can like run them over your hard not including that, but you could, like there are things that you could come up with for for anybody in your life, Like if I said this to this person, it would really hurt them, and we all have the restraint to not do that. Isn't that something we all deserve over reward.
I always think about that on an airplane too, Like how amazing is it that we have that we're all just sitting confined on this tiny tube and no one is like screaming or freaking out. I mean once in a while, but most flights are chill And isn't that nuts that, like, as a human race, we've all managed to just chill the fuck out for sometimes eight hours, seven hours.
Quietly on this thing when probably a lot of us though, I think it's less about like respecting everyone else and knowing that if you cause sir, it's this is like you can't fuck around.
That's evolutionary because like if you did that in the wild, they would just kill you.
Yeah, you would be ostracized and you can't survive alone. Now, yeah, that's true, Like we need community, we need people helping us. That's why getting to like child rearing, that's why people feel so guilty about getting nannies. Bitch, you had uh, probably three hundred, I don't know how big their tribes were back when we were having kids, you had a whole tribe of women helping you rear a child back then. Yes, the Hillary Clinton book, it takes a village. It literally takes a village to raise a child. And so women are priding themselves on. Women pride themselves up being like, I'm a strong mother who doesn't need any nannies, doesn't need help. And I get it, Like, if you can't afford nannies, don't get you can't. You can't have them, and you got to do it on your own. And that's kind of what you signed up for. And it fucking sucks, and it's way harder than you even thought it was going to be. And I have so much empathy for you. But if you can afford a nanny's and you're being holier than now, like I need to do this on your own, you're doing your child a disservice. Yeah, because it's not the way you. You are not gonna be well rested, and you're not gonna be I would get so many fucking NaNs.
I give so much help.
So every time I see my kid, I am like the best version, the most loving, the most present, the most You know that that's what I would do, and I'd probably seem on the outside very neglectful of my child, and I'm not around them a lot, but it would be so I can show up as the best.
I think a lot of moms are afraid that the nanny is gonna bond too much with the kid. I had lots of I think I went to nursery school and probably had babysitters.
I don't remember any of them.
That's why I tell my friends who get nervous about nanny having too much of a relationship with their child over them and I'm like, your kid won't fucking remember this woman.
Consciously though, what about subconsciously?
Maybe they've they've well, just make sure you get enough, Like don't only see your child an hour a day, Like don't don't be completely don't be like I can only give I'm only happy an hour day and that's only one. That's not what I'm saying, Like, you know, don't completely abandon your child. But like I would say, treat yourself to a massage, let the nanny take over for a bit, Like do nice self care things so when you do show up, you're relaxed and cool and loving and present.
I would give my baby to the nanny for like, don't remember shit, man, the first like eight years and then I take it back.
Yeah, I would have nanny's helping me out a lot, but I would also feel deep shame about that because our culture is so about like who's the best mom, and I'm just I'm momming so hard right now and I'm a mom. Like I was with someone recently and they didn't oh yeah.
It was.
Fourth of July weekend. I was with a couple that has a baby, and I'm not joking you. They never brought up the baby even once. Wow, And I was expecting it to be baby palooza, like, oh you hear about this baby. They missed the baby. Oh I wonder what the baby's doing. Oh, we just got a picture of the baby. Like I hear about Anya's dog more over a week and when they're not with the dog, then I heard about this baby. And it's it's not because they're bad parents. They just enjoyed their trip away from the baby and I. And when I did ask about the baby, my god, they had so much to say and it was like, you know, the damn broke and it's not like they were trying to withhold that. But they were just it just seemed like a healthy relationship where it's like the baby's fine, We're not going to be overly like, okay, I need to check it in constantly. It was just like it was the kind of parent I would want to be, and that I probably would not be able to be because I'm so worried about what other people think about me, or that nanny might tell people like she spends a lot of time getting foot massages and I'm here all the time, and then that gets spread around. So I'm not saying I could. I would want to be the type of person that could let my kid be with a nanny and kind of forget about it. Yeah, were you watched by nanny's and nanny's We never did.
No, I had my grandma lived. Oh, I wanted to say. That's what I want to say, is that you did the right thing. I think the way to be truly happy is if we all live in small villages with with our with our families and friends, like the fact that like when we were in the wild or whatever, in tribal communities, we just lived with everybody we ever knew and loved or hated just everyone we ever knew altogether growing up, and then occasionally someone would go off into the tundra and we never see him again. But for the most part, you'd be raising this everybody be raising each other in this village. And by you going back to Saint Louis, I feel like you're kind of returning to that type of You're you're with your family, You're you're with people, you know, you're in You're in your familiar place, and I think that truly is the key to happiness, and I think that is why so many people are depressed. For example, me, my family is in every single corner of the United States of America, like I have Seattle, my sister's in Seattle, my brother is in Boston, my mom's in Florida, my dad's on Long Island, and I'm in la And it's like there's no chance that we'd ever and I feel like we should if we wanted to be happy, we need to return to that like village type of life. And that's also why I envy people who like live in France, because France, I just think those French have it all.
Final thought, yeah, keep going.
I envy the folks that live in France because it's small. Because it's small. So imagine if everybody that you ever knew and loved lived in Pennsylvania. Yeah, and it's like, oh, well, my sister lives in Pittsburgh, even though I live in Harrisburg, and it's like, who fucking cares you drive two hours?
Yeah?
But in America, it's such a big country, so spread out. It's so spread out that you could be literally a six to seven hour flight away from your closest relative.
Yeah.
But wait, wouldn't that mean then that your tribe member would be that crazy neighbor with the possums.
Yes, no, well maybe, but I live next to the possum person because I'm not with my tribe. Yeah. If I was with my tribe, that possume person would have been excommunicado. Yes, many years ago.
Think you're right like I sensed. I think during the pandemic when I was at a very low point, not just because of pandemic, like a low point in my life anyway, and I was looking for an out because I was just stretched too thin, and I like was really struggling. The second I had an excuse to go back home, I like leapt at it. And now I'm out here in la and I miss my family so fucking much. I just miss being within ten miles of them. Oh like, even though we don't hang out every night. I watched Family Feud last night. We were on with against bb Rex's family on ABC. I don't know if you guys caught it, but I was like so excited to just see their faces and how cute they were. And I was just like missing them so fricking much, and tonight I have so cute. Yeah, Lauren was adorable, she looks amazing on TV. My mom was so pretty, and my dad was handsome and cool, and Matt was there and no, Matt was so hilary. We were so we're such a cuteie family. It made me so happy to be a part of such a tight knit family, and I do miss them so much, And it really is That's why I'm trying to get all of my friends in one place. I'm trying, like, ideally I would just live somewhere where we would all live together and all of our kids would hang out or you know, our dogs, and yeah, it really is, truly what makes me happy is being near family and friends, and I feel That's why it's just felt a little depressed this week because I'm like away from my boyfriend and just like my family and I'm just La. No one noticed it. She's like, every time you go to La, you seem to get to breast and I'm like, yeah, I think I do. Even Carla, I was like, why do you hate La? I'm so mad that you hate La every time you go. And it's like it's not that I'm like everyone's fake and too pretty. It's just like it just feels like everyone is kind of a lone wolf out here. There isn't that sense everyone's kind of I'm maybe picking up on that vibe that everyone's kind of struggling. And it's so fucking hot that my whole climate change stress that I feel constantly is like front and center here. You just feel it extra hard. She Tucson must be feeling like end of the world right now? Do you feel that?
Like does the press of heat makes you think like how the world is dying? So, first of all, I love oppressive heat. I love it, and in Tucson it's great. Right now, I'm in New York and it's inhumid and it feels like I'm in an armpit.
Well, I wanted to talk really quickly about Bbi Rexa because I played against her family last night. And then last night also was she I guess the night before her and she was on with her boyfriend. It was she her fan, her very handsome boyfriend who's friends with my boyfriend. They both work in production. And my boyfriend was like when I that day I was on set, he was like, her boyfriend might be there. He's a cool guy, he works, He's worked on these shows with me, and I was like, he's part of the team and he's like, wow, mus be nice. Now, Like I wish that Chris could have been there, but I had too big of a family. But then last night, speaking of our Jonah Hill talk, last week, Bibi Rexa posted on her Instagram story. It is now off, but she posted a DM from her boyfriend. Shit, so things aren't good between them.
I guess. Oh man, So.
The title of this is Bibe Rexa just dropped a DM from her boyfriend Kean Seferi Comma shames her wait in the DM. Okay, so this person's illiterate. Whoever wrote this?
Okay?
So this is from him? Hey, I never said you weren't beautiful, and I never said I didn't love you. In fact, I said how beautiful you are and how much I loved you. I don't know why they're dming. By the way, her boyfriend, who appeared on Family feud with her, so apparently they're very close they've been together. In response to no, there's no response, she doesn't share the what else? But I always said I would be honest with you, and your face was changing, so I told you it was that. That was the conversation we were having, and you asked, because I care, would you rather I lied to you? You gained fit thirty five pounds. Obviously you gained weight and your face changes. Question mark, Should I just pretend it didn't happen and that it's okay? Oh my god, come on, I gained three pounds and you call me chubs and fat doesn't mean you don't love me. If you're trying to find reasons to break up, this makes sense dot dot dot, but it's not the real reason. If you're unhappy with me, slash yourself, slash with life, and don't see a future with us, then that's okay, and that's the reason. Don't use something like that to weaponize your anger or anxiety or any insecurity you may have. You know, I always found you to be beautiful and loved you no matter what.
I think.
It's important for you to think about things and write things down, speak to a therapist. Oh god, screenshot this and posted on your Instagram socials. No, he didn't say that, and do this retreat thing to get to the root of the problem. Oh, let me know if you like to speak. If you let me know if you'd like to speak, if you need more clarity.
Love you what an idiot?
Really?
Well, he just made like the most basic dumb ass Fred Flintstone mistakes.
Which would which are what you don't comment on on your what if? She asked? Because it sounds like she did.
She mean.
My face?
Never said I was beautiful? And do you think my face looks different?
Oh my god, Well you can't fall for that. That's a trap, he says.
That was the conversation we were having, and you asked, Okay, so she did ask It's a trap. Does my face look different? So she is she? I guess told him I've gained thirty five pounds. He's probably like, I'm not going to say anything, but she's like on a scale and she knows it. And then she goes, does my face look different? He says yes, And now she's posting this thinking everyone's going to like hate him, and I guess based on that, you know, the intro little line he shames her like, people are on board with that, and they did pick up on that, but she since removed it because I think the tightest turned and people are seeing this for what it is, which is, like you.
Asked, right, No, I'm not. I I don't think it's like his fault or whatever. I'm just saying, be smarter than that.
You don't fall into the trap.
If bb Rexa goes, oh my god, am I fat?
Now?
I don't care who you are. You go No, you're beautiful, baby, And.
Maybe your face looks bigger because someone threw a phone at it and it's swollen. That happened to her a couple of weeks ago.
Yeah, you know, I love you. You're so beautiful. I don't know, I don't care.
I like that he gained three pounds of some fat and chubs.
I know.
He's like, I've dealt with this for a while.
He also loves her clearly, and says, there's nothing like having your face change does not equal I don't love you anyeah.
He said your face changed, but it doesn't mean he said I don't love you anymore and I don't want to have sex with you. And I like, who knows, Maybe that did get said, but it doesn't sound like it got said. What do you guys make of this?
Anya same?
I'm like, first of all, I want to see the whole context, But it does sound like she asked, am I beautiful? Why didn't you say it was beautiful? And he's just defending himself, And I don't think there's anything wrong with what he said. He actually sounds like, uh, like a emotionally mature guy. He's just saying, yeah, your face changed, you asked if it changed. It sounds like, but we don't know the context.
So why's her embarrassing hosting these things? What people? I totally throw her phone at someone's face to get it away from her, because this is this is not a good look. What is happening?
Girls are psyched to like put guys on blast, and it sounds like it might have bit her in the ass. She's clearly a beautiful woman. Yeah, and maybe she's going through something right now. Sounds like she's insecure, she about about.
To go to her maybe she's on she changed medication or something. She's going to change it soon. It's going to be ozembic and we all know where this is going to go. And she's going to be as thin as as you know she wants to be at any point, So the tide will turn. And but I just don't like this whole put. If he gets back together with her, I mean, this has cost for breakup if anyone ever, it's an on my relationship altogether message. Oh god, no, that's a breach of trust. Yes, but I do you think he'll get back together with her?
I mean I would.
He sounds too emotionally mature too, especially after like like after showing that, because she has like how many followers on Instagram?
I'm a million plus?
Yeah, at least, Well, if I was this guy, this guy is in production. You know he's not famous guy. If I was that guy and I was dating bb rexa a maybe the most famous pop star besides Taylor Swift right now, well, no, but close, she's a she's bigger than Sting.
You definitely asked us today what is a bb REXA song and then I sang it and you did not recognize it.
So to even claim that she's I've seen her on billboards okay, yes, like Doja.
Cat level Okay, yeah, yeah, she's pretty close.
Yeah yeah. So if I if I was dating bb REXA and I was just like a regular production dude, I would give her many different opportunities to fuck up like that. And I'm still go back right Yeah. I mean, she's got to leash the size of what's a long rope?
Example, I don't know, we were playing improv games yesterday. What's in your bag of fun?
A long rope? Please?
Yeah?
A leash the size of a bungee cord into the Grand Canyon.
Yeah okay, someone.
Did their homework. Yeah okay, So but I want to say, really, the Family Feud was a great episode. Try to watch that. I guess maybe Hulu or something. I don't know where ABC things are, But with me and my family, it was so funny. We lost so badly. The score was like, uh, six eighty, like on the bb Rex's score, and we got thirteen points next to bb rexes six eighty.
This is true.
This family wept the floor with us, swept the floor with us and wept.
We wept afterwards.
It was so embarrassing. It was a lot leading up to that. My parents were deliriously tired because they're like eighteen slides had been canceled and they were supposed to get there the day before. They arrived literally forty five minutes before the show began, so we have all the excuses in the world. We also didn't know how to play the game. It was explained to us before, but I did not know that when you buzz in at first, if the person who hits the buzzer first, I thought, gets to go, and then it goes to their team. I didn't know they answer, and then the other person gets a chance to answer too. So when they went to me, I was just like, I don't know. I stopped thinking after she hit the buzzer before me. Sure I didn't know, and that's on me. I should have watched the show. And there's so many details I want to talk about, but I signed an MDA. But someday, maybe when I have a mental illness and it's taken over my brain, I'll share all of it.
We got to go.
Thank you for listening to the show. We'll be here tomorrow. I can't wait. And Dolaka and just wear a buff, not a scarf.
