The Nikki Glaser PodcastNikki invites her friend, comedian Nour Hadidi, to join her in reviewing the first part of Taylor Swift's "The Tortured Poets Department" album and discussing what it was like hearing it for the first time. Yes, this is a deep dive!
The Nicky Glaiser Podcastserus.
Here's Nicky Here. I am hello with Nicky Glazer. Welcome to Nicky Lazer Podcast. There's a very special episode of the podcast, as you already know because you clicked on it. But this is for Swift these uh only not only, but I just feel like you just need to know what you're in for. Like this is going to be a love fest, a gush fest, it's gonna be a dorkathon. We're like gonna go hard and just lean into being totally obsessed with this thing that brings us so much joy. So I'm joined today on this special Swift episode to go over the Tortured Poets apartment. And by the way, this is something I'm doing because I've been asked by so many people to do it, and also I just love talking about her so much. It's the It's like Anya witnesses it on the road a lot with me, because I'll be really depressed and then someone I'll meet someone that kind of has some knowledge about Taylor Swift, and I will light up like a fucking mirror ball. Bitches, I just become like shinier and just happier about the world and she's always kind of like mystified at this. What does Taylor call it? We'll get into it. The drug that you take, the fortnite drug that just snaps you out of things, And she's that for us, and today us is me and the one person in my life who's And I said this on my Stories. I just posted whose love for Taylor Swift rivals my own? And I invite it like I'm not someone who's like I'm the best Swifty because I'm definitely not. But she is so knowledgeable. She loves her in the same way I do, but also in a different way. You'll see that, like our favorites from the new album are kind of summer, are completely opposed to one another, and I find that so fascinating. I got so much data this weekend from you guys sending me your top three and five favorite songs. I said three just in case you didn't have time to listen to five and fall in love with five, because I know how it is, but you all said five. No one said three because everyone already had favorites and it's so fun. So anyway, who I am talking about is such a hilarious comedian. She is from Canada. I met her from you can just come on and start talking before I Who did we meet through.
Dave Ross, The wonderful Dave Ross.
Oh my god, yes, the best. And you know there's certain people in your life if they just like recommend someone or they say this person's a good person, they vouch for someone, You're just like I trust them, like I'll love this person. So he wrote me about you and then you open for me where in Toronto?
And it was yes, incredible.
Oh my god, that was Oh my god. Okay, nor Haddi is who we're with. Nor Hadidi. You gotta follow her on Instagram all the things, especially if you're swifty. She is one of us. She's such a diehard. Her and I are the most diehard swifty comedians, without question, without Chestry. Her name is n O. You are h A d I d I nor Hadidi? So nor you actually just defended Taylor Swift in like a debate, right, yes, So it's like a special debate thing that shows a big deal in Canada because I've don't know it before. It was a lot of pressure in the audience. It's kind of like a weight Wait, don't tell me for Canada. For those Americans listening.
Okay, yes, I can't believe you did it now I'm jealous. I didn't debate you because I think that would be so much fun.
Oh my god. I would be intimidated to debate you. I would like, because I love you so much. I like, would want you to win.
You're so sweet.
You're like not that it's not that it's like nor you'd need me to throw it, so, but I would like, I just wouldn't be I like going against people that I'm like, you fucking idiot, you know.
Right, yeah, like people who you want to take down.
Well, you're just like you because you argued what was the debate about what was the top.
Taylor Swift has the greatest fans in the world, and I said yes, and so I debated yeah.
And I'm actually struggle with because I don't know every fan base. It's hard to say the best, right.
But here's this is what I said on the debate. I was like, compared it to other fan bases, and I'm like, Okay, I live in Canada and hockey is so huge. If a hockey game loses, like people like cars on fire, they're so aggressive, right, and.
We can't find Matt Healy's car, otherwise we would. I don't know if he drives. Yeah, you're right, they do. People get really worked up about sports in a way that I find very similar. As I've talked about on the podcast, that football and Taylor Swift are very similar men's obsession and how we kind of roll our eyes at that is the kind of way they roll our eyes at this emotional thing that is very They're diametrically opposed, like is one is obviously very emotional, but like mostly physical, even though there's so many emotions in football, And actually they're very similar. But the way that I looked at football is probably the way that men looked at Taylor Swift. And I hope that we've both changed our minds because I'm like obsessed with football now, not obsessed, but like could be obsessed. I see a way in where I really admire players, and I've done a lot of research recently and I've been watching a lot of documentaries about it, and I just am like, oh, you know what, Yeah, football fans are swifties, the ones that dress up and everything like are their lives revolves around whether the the you know, the Browns are doing well and they're never doing real That's the funny thing about span bases that where I go because I've wondered, I go, wait, the Browns have never won a Super Bowl or like really even been close and there yet there's diehard Browns fans. I go like, what is I know? Like it's crazy, I don't. I guess that's a dumb question because if there's always a chance that you could because other franchises have figured it out and that's the fun part of it. But I think that's very sweet to root for such an underdog so dieheartedly that you pay your face.
So because I'm such a huge tailor Swift family, I now like watch Jason Kelsey's retirement speech, like that's how deep I'm in that is.
Oh my god, he's like a distant That speech is a distant cousin to you know, the Blank Space video. Like they're on the same you know what I mean, They're just far from each other. They're very far removed, but there they are a part of the Swift lore. Now, like everything about that family. I walk to the Kelsey documentary. I loved it. Jason Kelce because guess what, Taylor and Travis get along. Travis has a good fucking family. Taylor has a good fucking family. She's nice and she gets along with everyone. So she's like, obviously she's gonna introduce us us Swifties as fans to other people that we should be fans of because they're so awesome and that family.
And that's the thing. It's like in that retirement speech, she was like, it's no wonder that the best years of my career with my wife Kylie by my side. And I was like, oh, this is a family that respects women, right, like yes, and his mom he said in that speech that his mom was like the breadmaker, like she went to she worked.
The bread maker. I like that you said bread maker instead of breadwinner.
Oh, breadwinner.
I'm sorry she didn't work, but she was making bread all the time and stayed in the kitchen doing that as she's supposed to. But we changed the name of it to make it feel more.
Uh.
You know, well, that's so funny that you said she's the bread makers at a red Winner, but you meant like she earns. But no, yes, yes, I know what you're saying. Like the way treat their mom, the way they kiss her you know, on the field after they win, and the way and that family going through having two sons in the Super Bowl against each other. I don't know if you've seen the Kelsey documentary, but that's what it follows. It's insane, it's so cool, it's so touching, it's so sad because they're gonna be just they're gonna be so sad for one of their sons who they love equally. It's very It was an amazing documentmentary anyway, But this is all connected, right, So we so you debated the fan base. Can I just say about the fan base I have yet to meet as Swifty. I don't like, I know, I like whenever I run into one, they're always nice. I say, I just wish they wanted to talk, even like I want to jump in so deep right away. And I found two girls on the same flight from Buffalo to LaGuardia. I found two girls that were down to talk the way you and I talk about Taylor Swift, which you know, I don't talk about Taylor Swift as anyone except I mean, I have a couple of people, but the way we talk, and these girls were ready to get face to face and talk about it because sometimes I see a tailor Swift stuff and I'm like, hey, we get so Bots department. It's coming out and it's like a seven year old and she's just like, Mom, I'm scared. I'm just like I want to be like that one's about and people don't sometimes want to go that deep, and I know them.
I love it. Like one time I was walking on the streets of New York and I had a T shirt from her Lover merch and a girl stopped me and we like started talking about her on the street. You know, That's why I wear her merch.
Is I want to connect with other Swifties. It's and I'm proud to be a Taylor Swift fan and I think she's beautiful and I like having her face on my shirts, even though I will say there's a lot of complaints in the merch in the subreddit Taylor Swift that the merch They're like, we don't want her face, and I'm like, that's all I want.
That's all.
I love her name, I love the way it looks, but like I love wearing her face, but I love That's why I wear stuff is so people will say something because every time I see some merch, I always go Taylor Swift. I always go I I.
Like wearing my like merch that nobody unless you're out a diehard Swifty you don't know. Like I have this sweatshirt with her cat on it. That's good. Yeah.
The problem is I were stuff that says Taylor Swift and people don't come up to me. No one, I swear to God. I know how many Swifties are out there, but I do not get Hey, Swift eat a lot in public. That's why this weekend it was so rare to have two on a plane. Like usually I'm the one to start the conversation, so I would love to wear like That's why I like the torture to Poets department and earrings. I got the studs because those are a subtle nod. Yeah, they're so cute, you know, like for instance, you I thought Taylor Swift might be at a comedy show that I was gonna do recently, and the first first person I texted was Nore and I was like, Pearl, yeah, I Taylor might be there. What do I do?
Like?
How do I plan this set?
Like?
What do I say that so that she perks up and like gets that we should be friends, which should I not even worry about that. And my biggest thing was like not worry about the material because I could pretty much do all of it, and I know she would dig it. But I think that I wanted to have something that she would know I'm as swiftye but it would not be acknowledging her at all, Like it wouldn't be calling her out at all. I don't want to draw any attention to her. And we had a lot of ideas. You and I. I thought you liked my idea of doing the lovers or like the ten albums on my fingernails, yes, thirteen. On my hand, the thirteen might have been distracting it a little over the top, Like I wanted it to be so subtle. I wanted to maybe drop a lyric, like a very like a lyric that is, maybe like a second verse lyric that not a lot of people would catch, and then she would just go like even if she was like totally zoning out, she'd be like, what, yeah, the way we all zip up the sea.
Went the opposite way. I was like, Nikki, I'm ordering you the no It's Becky shirt from Tumblr. You're gonna write lyrics on your phone.
If I had to no as Becky shirt, I would wear it because that's that is that's good enough that it like I would bet maybe one other girl in the room would know what that is.
Yeah, and you know.
That's pretty like deep swifty. There's some stuff. There's so many swifty jokes and moments. And I learn a lot from my fellow swifties that have come before me that educated me about stuff that happened in the past. When Taylor used to get really wilin on Tumblr, yeah, I love I love that. It's so funny.
She's incredible. Are you kidding me? And if you go back to some for Tumbler posts, like the hashtags she uses are hilarious.
She's so smart as we know. Because this album, let's just dive right in, no ride in, I'm acting like, oh yeah, we're getting right to it. I could go on and on. I think that, you know, we need to do this again and again. I'm just like, it would be fun to just go through every album and just like talk about stuff because I need to talk about Aras tour in depth because I've seen it twelve times now.
Incredible and have you been yet not yet. We're going to go in the summer. I told you with my family, we're going to That's right, Yeah, nah, yeah.
That's what I'm trying to go to, Nora. I like, actually save good days. I'm trying to bring my parents. You're going with your parents.
Yeah, well my parents are divorced. I'm going with my dad and then my uncle's family, so his brother and then my cousins as well because my graduating. We don't will we haven't bought the tickets yet. I should maybe yeah, but we're like we've planned it.
But okay, god, it was actually gonna have as you have to tell you. I was kinning to get you on the floor. I know, I like, I'll loan you money, like you know you can pay you back and like one hundred of yew. I don't even care if you pay me back, like you could just take it because you I need you to be on the floor and not that. If anyone's listening and hasn't been on the floor or hasn't been on to eras Is somehow like had a lesser experience, but you you did. I mean there's better places and if you're gonna go, go, if you can't. I mean, getting in there is just good enough, and that's so good enough. But if you have a choice, fight for those floor seats.
So here's the thing, because I was actually going to text you for about ticket advice, so I'm so glad you said that. It's actually the tickets for floor are so much cheaper than the seated ones in Europe because there's because there's no seats. It's like first come, first serve kind of thing. It's like a whoa, do you know what I mean, it's like a mess.
You know. I'm on my feet the whole fucking time, though I don't you know this. This is a fun stat about me twelve era shows. Uh only went to the bathroom one time, and it was because I was having a panic attack. But the rest of the time, only one bathroom break and it was on my first show because I smoked a little weed before I went in, and then I was thinking that a plane was gonna like I was like, what if a plane crashes into this arena. I was just like going to some dark places, so I was like, I need to like get out of here. So I went to go to the bathroom just to get a walk and then I came back and I was like, don't ever do that. Don't ever smoke weed again. When you're late to a tailor show show that you're already mad about being late at and you don't feel cute enough and you're going alone and you're meeting up with a fan like it was a lot, and I didn't even it was just like, I don't even know if it was the weed, it was just the circumstance. And I was But that's the only time I've ever gone anywhere during and then I leave early. You're usually during Karma. I leave really because it's really fun to dance and walk and like strut like she is, and I've been there for three and a half hours. I get it at this point, and I hate traffic, I hate crowds. I get nervous about it. But it is really fun because you have so much room to like walk and be like and sing like Karme is my boyfriend, and it like feels like victorious and you're and I'm always in like a flow dress. I usually dress in like folklore or evermore like I like wearing a flowy like wood woods dress love And so then I get to like twirl and dance and like kind of Florence in the machine my way out of there. So that's really fun. But my body just will not produce a need to be the whole show. It just knows like we're not. I don't. It's not like I'm holding it. I'm just like totally yeah, but that would be interest. I think I think then you then you definitely do four, and I think it'll be great. Yes, I mean yeah, I think the people people in being are respectful and they'll mind each other's space. That's why they can out there.
Right, I hope. So I know you said that you wanted to go to Japan next time, which I would love to do because yes, it's like the videos are magical except American.
It's so funny to be like finally it's just me singing the whole time, like that's my dream, is like singing at each other.
You're like killer harmonized with me.
Girl, let's do Oh my god, I get some nervous like I've been front row and second row and third row and seventh row and eleventh throw, and when I'm up close, like when she comes near and she you can see the hair on her arms like that's how close I am to her, which made me go, oh my god, I want hair on my arms. So but like on her upper arm, she has like these glistening blonde hairs that are so beautiful, and I was like, god, she's just like perf. You know, you just see how perfect she is and beautiful and cute, and like you also are like not intimidated. You're intimidated because she's her, but you're also like she's my friend.
Hi.
Yeah, but when she I always get nervous singing. I don't want her to, like hear get distracted. If I say not that she would ever get distracted me because she's a fucking thro But I get nervous, I'm gonna get the lyric wrong, and she'll look at me and she'll not that she'll be disappointed me, but she'll be singing with me. Because sometimes when you're singing with people and they do the wrong lyric, you like follow their mouth. But I doubt she has that problem because she's you know, she can do it with a broken heart.
She can do it. Got that song is incredible, Like.
So you know what, it's time to take a break. So let's just do that and then we'll come back and hopefully pick it back up where we started. But we're all over the place, and I promise we're going to get to some songs who could get back to it them Nor had bed okay, so torture Poets, let let's get to it the Torture Poets department.
Dude.
I saw it coming. I think I told Nor, Or at least I told Nor that I told someone that she was going to announce it the Grammys, a new album. I said it on the red carpet of this event, and I'm trying to find footage of it so I can show you that I predicted that.
I go.
People are thinking, we're getting reputation announcement tonight, and we're getting a new album. She announced it and I was like yes, and I was so excited. And then it turns into a double album at two am, and of course it did.
I just wanted to say thank you to all the Detective Swifties, like I feel like there's different groups of us, and the Detective Twists Swifties I love so much because they were like two desks, two cups. It's going to be a double album like things I wouldn't notice I noticed the two's, but there's some people who just like pause the video, look at the polaroids, analyze them, who's in it?
Like those to have those swift pas essential swift because absolutely like I can do my research and watch those clips and learn about stuff and then find my own kind of things, which I have something to reveal on this episode that I like I made. I found a huge thing that I think that no one else has put pointed out. I did point it out on TikTok. I wrote it in the comments of a video that I think you sent me. But I was like, I've got another clue, and so I hope maybe people have picked it up by now, But I'll reveal that later when we get to it. But I do. I do appreciate everyone showing me what to look for. And also I wouldn't the two things. I wouldn't have noticed on my own, Like someone had to point that out. But then I started seeing, you know, saying it more. But yeah, there's so many layers to this. Before torture potes came out, like, let's say, was this what you expected it to be?
Absolutely not absolutely repeting. I was expecting something more along the line lines of Midnights, where it was a lot more poppy. We had those dance numbers, we had the like somber songs, you know, but I just wasn't expecting it to be this lyrical.
Oh, it is dense. This is James Joyce era for Taylor of Just Like, and I don't even know what his writing is like because people have scared me of it so much because it's so dense. I remember someone in college being like, it's the worst class, not the worst, and like, it's just I'm saying that obviously he's a genius, and that's it was too intimidating for me. And that's what some of this is. Like, I mean, I'll get the lyrics challenging to me.
That word rivulet. I have to look it up.
Rivulet. That was the one where I go, okay, I've got pretty much all of these other words Rivulet. I go, she got me, she got me? And then you it's revealed how not stupid. I say stupid with love because I'm stupid because I don't know rivulet, so stupid in that way things you don't know. I'm very shocked to find out how many people don't know, like soliloquy. I'm just like you, that's okay. We're all at different places in our lives. And I didn't know what rivulet was, and I'm sure there's to be someone that would be like, oh, you don't know what to rivule it, And I still don't because I didn't look it up. I just marked it too, so when you'll have to reveal that when we get to it. I think the imaging that first came out for Torture Poets, I was like I thought it was going to be I didn't know what to I guess I had zero expectations because I'd always get clowned, you know, like I don't you know. What my expectations were was that it's going to be my favorite album because it always is, yes, and that you know what else I expected. I would struggle with it at first, not struggle, but just be like like, it's a lot of like work memorizing this, and I'm not attached to these songs yet. I can feel it calming, and then it's like the beginning of a relationship, you know, where you're like I want to get out there and date. I'm so excited to like meet someone and like find that person, but I have to like meet them and have an awkward phase of like getting to know it, and then oh my god, you get you start to fall in love. And then right now I think is the sweet spot for most diehard Swifties. Three days, four days out of the album. You are now listening to certain songs on repeat. You are memorizing lyrics. They're coming naturally, you don't have to work for it. This is like the this is the Limerence stage, which I've talked about a lot on podcasts. This is the that buzzy I'm in love drug feeling of of the of the torture poets of a new album release. So thirty one songs, though, I was like, are you fucking I cannot believe we I'm so grateful. I was intimidated by it. But I read something on Reddit of someone complaining about that it's too many songs and the girl some I assume she was a girl. That's like, I guess sexism. But they said, so, just don't listen to the ones you don't like, Like, it's not like you. It's not a movie where you have to watch through a scene and fast forward. Just like pick the ones you like and like, don't you think there's maybe something here for everyone? And who cares? Like do you like her to keep songs vaulted for? Do you want to keep vaulted forever? I want to hear everything. I want to hear your voice, mama was. I want to hear her grocery lists. I want to hear anything she writes, so put it all out absolutely.
Even when she posted that Fortnight's video, I watched it like one hundred times, like I just want to know everything she does.
You mean the real so much?
Yes, the real, the real.
Oh my god. And then kissing her. I saw my cell phone case, which I bought because there was a I found out about her cell phone case ages ago. And this is before Ara's tour that she had this cell phone case. She still has it, and so do I. It was maybe before it was I think it was before Eras started. I got this case and and I saw it in the think I'm like, oh my god, she still has it too, Because when I was at Airas, I was filming her obviously with my phone, and I was like, oh my god, I wonder if because you know, when you see your own phone case, you're like like I was like, oh my god, maybe she sees it because when I was in the front row, but then she also was wearing a KU shirt and that and I went to Ku. She was in the plate where she's doing that. K. Yeah, so she's wearing a KU shirt. So that was major for KU and yes, so and then Travis kissing her, and then her just having so much fun and living so much life and usually very threatened by women who are like, have so many hobbies and are crafty and can bake and just look like that they have a full life, and I'm like, why can't I be like that. I don't feel that way with her. I'm just like, yes, you're superhuman.
Because she's my friend, because she's my best friend, and I want everything good.
To even want that for my best friends. I'm so I think be jealous, and not that I don't. I'm kidding. I want that for my best friends. I can get jealous of my best friends though, But Taylor, I'm just like, because I compare myself, but I don't really compare myself to her. I think people think I do, and sometimes maybe I can, because I'm just like, you know, it just frustrates me that I won't ever be as good as her, you know, like in the ways that I wish I was good. You know, I'm good in different ways, but overall, I just I'm so grateful that I like don't feel if I was a musician, I think I would maybe have a hard time listening to her because she's so pro like the way we feel about the way I feel about John Mulaney. Sometimes I'm like, I don't really feel like watching him because he's so good at el Chappelle that it's like it makes me go, what am I even doing?
Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I have to stop watching comedy even sometimes live. I'm just like, I'm here to do my set. I'm doing the best I can. I worked all day on my jokes, you know, and whether and that's the thing with stand up, because we have to follow each other, so it's the comparison is right there and it's immediate. So I just leave. I'm like, I hope, I hope everyone's doing.
One that's a really good idea. Yeah, yeah, I don't really I leave right away too, not for that, but sometimes when I do it, if I have a set that is is not great, I will leave because I don't want to hear the next person get them. Oh no, way can't.
That's exactly what happened last night. Like I got heckled like five times and then the host did fun to common, Me did great, No different people in the audience. It was wild. It was the wildest experience.
Are you performing in like oil Country and uh, Cleario?
Well it's at a theater, so I read a theater would be nice, that's the thing. Yeah, I had never been to Like it was in Windsor, Ontario, and it's close to Detroit and there's this like grittiness. It's like a blue collar city. Yeah, and I don't it's maybe they don't.
See a lot of comedy so they don't know not to. Or they were just really drunk. And I'm not saying that I think it was drunk, but they both.
Yeah, No, it was both. There was a woman who was for sure drunk because I have a joke about how I'm on medication and she's like, you're medicated. Sing it? And I was like, what does that mean? Sing it?
God? I hate when they're unintelligible. Yeah, you know where You're just like that didn't make sense. I can't even do anything with that? What does that mean? Like it's so distracting? Yeah, and you know what, but you can do it with a broken heart.
I did. I did?
You know you just like because your heart will be that song I love because you your heart can be breaking in so many different ways. Anya was like, I played that song for Anya and Matt and my friend Ari this weekend and I like sang it hard on the way home from doing you know, I did three shows this weekend. It was like first and Keegan, Illinois, then I flew to the next night, I was in Niagara Falls, New York, and then the next night I was in flew to Long Island and it was just like boom boom boom, and I was kind of like, oh tired, and I was doing it with a broken heart. And then I and then we were listening that song on the way home from the third show late at night. I have like a five am flight. I'm like, oh my god. And then I'm like I sang the song and then Annie afterwards, I was like, do you relate to that song? And I was like, oh, are you kidding me? And she was like, but you're not, like your heart's not you're not like going through heartbreak. I'm like no, but she's just talking about like anyone that has to get through anything when your heart is broken, Like my heart can be broken for the fact that I'm not getting a lot of sleep right now, or I'm overbooked, I feel lonely.
I feel that's the thing that's performing. Like I used to have a day job and then comedy was my outlet. But when your art form becomes your job, it doesn't matter what's going on behind the scenes. You could be crying, you could be having a bad day, you could be groggy, but it doesn't matter because people paid and you're there to put on a show and that's what that is.
But you're also there to be authentic. I think, for at least for if that's why I would like to be a pop star sometimes because I could just like become this shiny performer that just hits her mark, you know. But with comedy, for me, at least where I'm at, it's like I have to be fluid and I want to talk from a place of like authenticity, and it's kind of in the moment, and especially when I'm depressed, I can't I guess that's true. Like I could turn on a switch and just do the jokes the way that I wrote them and figure out how to find that style, but my brain doesn't work. Sometimes I can't do it with a broken heart, and sometimes my broken heart just spills out on the stage and then I get too honest about like life sucks right now. But I do avoid that more often. It just doesn't work because people can sense the sadness and they don't really want to you kind of like, if you want to like put some sadness into your stuff, I think it has to be a little bit performative because real sadness people are like, oh no, worried.
Yeah. I hate it when they all after a joke, I'm like, no, you're.
Not your god, oh oh, dear god. Well this this is interesting because we're talking about our relationship with the audience in the crowd and what we expect to from them and what they sometimes disappoint us in ways they disappoint us. And Taylor, for the first time ever, really addressed her fans in this album and can of she kind of came at us and I fucking love it. I'm here for it. And it's not because I'm like, I'm not a Hannah or a Sarah.
What is it Sarah's and hannasy best.
Yeah, I'm not that, Like I think a lot of stuffies are telling themselves No, I'm not that, and there are a lot of parts of me that are not that. But I have mouthed off about her. I've literally been on on you know, file doing it on Miss Americana the documentary. I am mouthing off. I'm being a Hannah live on whatever BuzzFeed show. So I've been that in the past, and I try not to do that, and that's why I wanted to do this podcast and just do it all positive like, because that's all I really want to be anyway. I don't want to be critical. We get more album drops than any other fan base, Yes, sure, but those nights that they have and are so special. Where were you when you first listened?
So I really hate to say this, and I want to Oh, I didn't.
Mean to set you up for this, but you are. I made a TikTok about you.
You did.
Yeah, I think it got posted. I haven't checked it, but it was like me, uh, struggling to say no to you when you said you had a link for a leak, Yeah, but I did say no. I turned it down, and really it wouldn't have changed anything in her life, but I just I wanted to experience it the way everyone was was doing it. But I was tempted to do it because I wasn't gonna be able to listen as soon as it came out because I was going to be on stage. So I was like, oh, I deserve to listen to it early, but I didn't. Where were you when you first started listening? Like what you're setting in.
My pajamas in my bed packing for this tour. I get a message from a comic. He's like, hey, I have a I know you're like by the book, but are you I have a leak if you're interested, And I said, yes, send it to me, put it in my veins. So he sent it to me and I literally I had to stop packing and I just sat there with my iPad listening. And then, because it's not like Spotify where it goes to each song, I have to manually go in and listen, and it's so frustrating because I don't have the lyrics. I'm trying to figure out what the lyrics say.
Lead I mean, neither did anyone at first. I guess some of them started leaking because of the leak the lyrics beforehand, but they were it's hard to they took they were on Spotify and then they took them off. Did you notice that? No, I mean, at least for me, I cannot find the lyrics that they were on it for a day. I think it was on Saturday they were on it. I was on a treadmill. I was learning, but but Daddy, I love him. And then the next day I tried to pull up the lyrics and they were gone. Some of them were wrong, so I would hope that they would be gone to become right. Because of some of them, I was like, that's not what she's saying right there. But yeah, it's hard to listen without lyrics. So yeah, you like kind of set the tone for yourself. Did you listen to the whole Was all thirty one leaked early?
No? Only the first only the album? It sounds, yeah, the first So I had no idea there was going to be thirty one any.
Gee, good for you protecting that the second half? Yeah, so yeah, you woke up to I mean I had texted you I'm sure, you got many texts, but saying like it's a double album. And then you texted me in that morning and we're like, oh my god, I'm getting into it now.
Yes, And I was trying so hard because I wanted you to enjoy the album for yourself, so I was trying not to give you any information, but I was dying for you to live.
No, you gave me some and it was it felt really good. I forgot what you told me specifically, but I was.
Like, will you asked me if there were any bops and I said, like, there's one bob mostly not bombs.
Bops.
Yeah, yeah, bops, yes, no, no bomb.
I thought you said bombs and I was like, did I ask that?
No?
No, no, yeah, And you told me. I forget what you told me, but I'm guessing my boy only breaks his favorite toys.
No. The bop was I can do it with a broken heart because that's the more.
That is the bo I mean, yeah, that's the boppyist one for sure. You're right, You're right. Yeah, I will argue that some of these are bops when they don't sound like it, like there's I was just talking to a swifty this weekend and we both agreed that is it over now is a bop that doesn't sound like it because it starts so slow. You know, it's like when the Fly has fun, it's just really soft, and then it's like, let's fast forward, and then it just like kicks in and it's like it's it's somewhere in between a boat, but it becomes like this. I don't know, I need a description for how I feel in my soul with some of these songs. How uplifting and like they like scoop me up, like I feel like I'm flying sometimes.
These Vault tracks have been incredibly life changing.
Like we'll do a podcast about the Vault like, okay, like nineteen eight nine Vault tracks, What a fucking gift? What a and if you know, and that's that's as much music as people get from their bands, if they're it's generous, you know, it's like a you know, she's given us these vult tracks. She's given us like fifteen fifteen to twenty new tracks a year. Yeah, oh wow, and they've been such bangers.
All credible. Some of my favorite Vault tracks were from the Red album. I will say, I was like, how did you not?
What are we talking when you say that, because I'm I'm I'm having a trouble recalling the Red Vault tracks. But oh, oh my god, I bet you think about me get the fuck out.
Yes exactly, I bet that's song new.
Yes, well nothing new, I mean, and she you know, definitely does like a little reprise of nothing new in this there's like echoes of nothing new in this album. I would love let's look.
At echoes of past songs in this album.
Yeah, because yes, that would come up. Okay, Oh, the ten minute version. I mean, obviously I don't even think of that as Vault track because it's so just now what the song is like.
I love the first time. It's such a beautiful song. I know it's very like uppity and like the very first night. Yeah, oh, the very first night.
Yes, I don't think I know that one song. I don't think I'm like locked in with that one.
Oh, I love it. I know it's one of my favors from the Vault.
I could Okay, I know the very first Night. Please. I just started playing and I was like, there's no way I don't know the song. I know it very well. That's a new that's a Vault track. Yes, that just came out because I feel like I've known the song forever.
No, it's a volt track. Her version of Babe is a vulttra.
Yeah, I mean that I've loved both versions so much. And uh and also better Man, that was so exciting to get. I really like run. But I don't think a lot of people are crazy about that. But I mean message in a bottle like it? Message is like no one had heard Message in a Bottle before. That's not that seems crazy to me.
No, No, we have not. We had never heard it. And I'll tell you better Man. I am so obsessed with that song. There's a YouTube video of her singing it acoustically at the cafe. Have you seen Do you know what I'm talking about?
I haven't memory, I haven't memorized. I even have the old man who's playing next to her his motions memorized, where he goes like times kind of sings.
I download.
It's amazing the least, And yes, it's incredible podcast about her, our favorite live performances of hers that we watch on YouTube. Yes, you know, like that would be fun? That is that's a great.
Red one, the red one on the boat.
Oh in the living room with all the people who are like hearing her in.
The laugh where she's on the boat in Paris. I don't know that you know what I'm talking about, no unless less ten babe, babe.
Oh okay great. And I saw her live performance. I saw her do the nineteen eighty to nine rooftop performance. I don't know if you've ever seen that. She does Welcome to New York on the rooftop. I was there. I could see my little ponytail because Chris, my boyfriend, produced it, and so and we were kind of broken up, but it was like we're thinking about getting back together. And he was like, hey, I'm doing this project. I think you might be interested. And I'm like, oh my god. I jumped out of bed. I was so depressed. I jumped out of bed and I just like got in a cab and went right there. I didn't even look cute, and I was. She saw me. I was. I'd met her on the Red Tour beforehand, but she's right there. I always forget about this interaction with her. But she was about to start where she's like walking through the village thunder music glow. You know, she's doing like and she walks and then she gets on stage. When she walks through the crowd, she was about to start walking and they took off her jacket and it was freezing. I mean, this was my winter in like it wasn't it was maybe it was, it wasn't like that hot or whatever. And then I looked at her and she was kind of like an, I go, uh, I go it's cold. I like mouthed that to her and she goes, it is. Yeah. So I carried that with me. I didn't remember who said what, but I definitely I don't think she was the first to initiate it. I just remember our interaction was it's cold, it is and I'm like, yes, okay, so let's start with the first single off the Torture Poets Department, the anthology we're gonna hope to get We're just gonna do. Let's just do the first songs. We're gonna do the first sixteen songs, the first release okay, the leak, and the first song Fortnite featuring post This. I love this for a single. It is. When it first came out, I was like, oh, it's a little bit slower than I'm like a single to be. But I trust her with her singles. I am a huge fan of me. I'm so glad that that was her single. I embraced it. It got me ready for Lover. I loved it so much. I still love that song. I'm just obsessed. I'm only just sad that she took out spelling is fun because I thought that was hilarious, which we have another spelling for is fun lyric to discuss that people are like she why did she say that? That's so weird? And they don't get that she's making She's in on the joke, idiots. Okay, we'll get to that later. But fortnite, I love this and it has grown on me substantially. It is probably in my top five.
Wow.
Really yeah, at this point, it's just so It's such a smooth, slick song, and it makes its starting to make me like drum up feelings in me that I don't even understand. I don't even know it's about, you know, like, uh, I haven't dug into the lyrics. Have you dug into it at all?
Yes? I mean I whenever she collaborates with someone, I like to go into it more just because i'd like to see like I'd like to know what she was thinking why she asked that specific person to collaborate with her on the song. Oh interesting, Yeah, and because he's one of only two for this album, so I was like, I want to like no more and I have to be honest, it's a slow burn for me fortnight.
Yeah, No, that's okay. There's gonna be those for this, especially this album. We all know as Swifties that like some songs don't resonate with us deeply until we're like ready for them to sink in, but that they are all capable of getting us in like a wild way when we suspect it. This one is going to get me. I think I'm just starting my love affair with it, like in terms of like it's the one I go to to repeat. I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic. I mean her saying that if she's you know, she's kind of playing a character in the song. She's talking about like my neighbor and your wife, like Taylor Switt doesn't have neighbors. Yeah, there's there's imagery in this that is not her life that I think is like kind of a folklore character thing. Because right it's like, yes, it gets too I haven't really gotten into this. Look, all my mornings are Monday, stuck in endless February. I took the miracle move on drug. The effects were temporary. I mean, I guess this is she's talking about her relationship that she jumped into out of her other relationship. I love you. Yeah.
It kind of rids me of evermore where she was like stuck in November or like, I don't know. I just love how when she uses specific months to conjure up imagery because there's things we associate withevery like it's so cold, it's very depressing, and so she's just stuck in that on a Monday because of this guy.
WHOA hold on, I'm sorry, I'm reading these lyrics and I'm starting to understand that I'm totally missing the mark on this. Are people not thinking that this is where it's dicey nor I don't want to be a Hannah and Sarah and discuss who the songs are about, so I'm not going to use names. I'm just gonna talk in as trying to be poetic about talking about poetry as I can. But okay, so the lyrics are you know. Uh this is so this is someone that she's taking a pill. She's taking a drug to get over, to get over the symptoms of something else. Is what I'm taking, this says, And this drug is going to be temper. The effects of the drug are temporary, and fortnite is two weeks, so in a fortnite, So for two weeks, it was like we were forever. We were gonna last run into you sometimes ask about the weather. Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors. Now you're like kind of hanging in my scene. Uh you're like friends with my friends. That's we're neighbors. Your wife waters flowers, I want to kill her? Now, who knows what that is? Because I maybe that person moved on and she's already seeing it. And uh like, is she talking about what we're who we think we're she's talking about? And then she says, my husband is cheating. I want to kill him? Is that? Are people making much of that line and what she might be saying with that?
I mean, I didn't even notice it until you pointed it out, to be honest.
So if she if she is the character, and let's that's let's let's just say that sometimes she does that and these she speaks in metaphors. There's so this is this could be about her life and she's just saying good neighbors as like you would say that people you know, she's just But that is that stands out to me because I think that's the what the I think that's the album we thought we were getting with this, which is like I kept saying, it's gonna be answers to what happened in that relationship, which is none of my goddamn business. I want to repeat over and over. None of this is my business, and it's it's just fun to dissect. It's interesting because it's someone's personal life. I tend to share a lot of my personal life with the public, and as someone who puts themselves open to that, I appreciate when someone else does, and I like to reward it by being nosy and hand speculating and gossiping.
But if I, if I may say something about that, like as fans, we're so invested in her music and so much of a reputation and Lover was about this, so for us it's like, yes, it's her personal life, but it's manifested itself in her art, and we would just like to know what happened, you know, from beginning to end.
And when you consume art, even if it's a TV show or like a movie, there's a lot that's left off the table that you don't see that ends up in the final art piece. But it's appropriate to discuss what could have happened behind that closed door about that movie, you know, like they purposely leave out details in movies and things and you can speculate, like what, you know, what did Logan roy? Did he underline his name or cross it out? We'll never know, but something happened, and we could know because the narrator of succession made it up and he could tell us what that was, but he purposely left it out for us to speculate and to talk about it and discuss it. So in a similar way, I'm justifying discussing who these are about and what it could be. And honestly, I'm trying to apply it to my own life, like it helps me. If she's if I'm like, oh, she's talking about the fling she had to get over someone else, Okay, great, I know who that is in her life. I know who that person in her life. Kind of represents in my life. This is going to help me feel it in a different way. So I'm justifying being a little bit of a Sarah and Hannah right now.
But I literally had a dream about my Maddie he Ley the night before the album came out, and it's only now making sense to me that, like, oh, this album is about not about Joe, It's about Maddie. And I just feel like, just because something is fleeting or with the first six weeks, does it mean it does it have a profound impact? Like, yes, I dated a guy for six weeks three years ago, but sometimes I still dream of him because it's like, you don't know how people will affect you.
Yeah, I can't believe anyone would ever begrudge her writing an entire thirty one album song if she wanted to about someone she had a weekend with. Because this is Miss Taylor Swift. Do not forget that she is able to uh distill her emotions, and not distill is the word. She's able. Her emotions are so complex that there's so many different things going on, and she's able to dissect her emotions in a way that we can't. So the feeling roller coaster, you go through a falling in love with one for a weekend or even having a tryst like could elicit thirty one songs. So and we got don't forget We got all too well out of her thing with Jake, which people say is like that's she's been like bitching up, but she's been crying about this for so long, So what I yeah, personally, I have some of the most intense love love affair moments were the shortest in my life, and they burned so bright, and they are I would say a thing that I think about more. I think about those relationships when I listen to Taylor's with more than I do my good relationships that were long longer. And that's why I think we didn't get the album we all thought we were gonna get in this because how did it end? She doesn't even know. She hasn't processed that yet. And you know what, the songs about the person that may have come after right after as a you know, as a response to it, are still about the main person, because that is she was. It was a drug she took because of the main person. So we are getting an album about Joe. We are like she's she's talking about the booze she consumed to help the heal the confusion and the disappointment of the Joe thing ending. So it is an album about him and or you know what, it's whatever. It's an album about so many things. But Fortnite, I think, is kicking off the overall theme that we returned to again again, which is this person, this this thing that she turned to to heal a broken heart. And we are also setting up she is broken hearted.
And I like that. It's like I only touched you for a fortnite. She's just telling us, like, I only touch you for this amount of time. Fortnite is an English word, so it's very like, hmmm, yeah, explainating, yeah, what happened.
She also foreshadows her viciousness in this album. We're leaning into the part of her that's like I want to kill her. I want to kill him that we're oh, where she's you know, Taylor Swift, she's killed herself before. Oh she's dead. I mean in vigilante shit. You start to get like she foreshadowed this, but she's she's in that vigilante shit mode. And it's good. It's it's really fun, and it's unexpected. It's like when she first started cussing, like there's a side of her that's emerged that we're like, oh, bad girl, naughty girl. Okay, let's go to Torture Poet's Department. This was a slow burn for me, but it is burning good, real good. Today is peak Tortured Poets Department. I think I avoided it because it was the title track. I don't know why I do I would do that, but I would say the first five songs of any album she releases are usually the ones I repeat the most because I'm like, I just want to go back, and so they get the most listens. And that was the one of the first five that I wasn't listening to on like Fortnite and Torture Poets were the ones that I was The following three I really couldn't stop doing. But today I got back into TPPD and uh TTPD and it's so good and it's also about the fling, right.
Yes, I loved it. I was like, at first, I was like, why wouldn't you tell someone you're dating that their typewriter is like weird? But then I would put myself in her shoes, and I was like Yeah, if you're dating someone, you don't want to say anything that might hurt their feelings or like damage.
But the smallest man who ever lived, Oh my god, you have to tiptoe around people's feelings like that.
Oh my god. No, but that's a.
Really interesting note to point out. Nor that she like your first instinct was like, why wouldn't you just say that I think some things I never say. And and by the way, she only gives us one of the things she thinks many things. I think, I think some things, not many. Some things I never say, like who uses typewriters? Anyway, she's just giving this an example of all the things she's thinking that she doesn't say. Yeah, she can't really be herself person.
And she just got so personal. She's like she named her friends Lucy and Jack. Right, Lucy is like one of the girls from boy Genius and yeah, like it also is just showing how like this guy is a flang. He came out of the blue, but he is so entrenched in her friend group, like they all know him. And for if a guy told your friend that he would kill your himself if you left like that is I'm sorry, I'm sorry if that's unhealthy, but it's like just the most reassuring thing ever in a relationship.
Like I'm sorry, yeah you, I mean you got you. You relate to this. I don't. I don't relate to that. I do know that this maybe I do. I mean, like, yes, you know. What I relate to is feeling some way about someone and then feeling it this have finding out they feel the same way back, like she says, she feels it too, you know, she said, she and getting that validation that this crazy thing you're thinking isn't crazy. And she gets kind of crazy for him. I mean she is, we get it to it, but she's imagining him writing mine on her upper side, give me, give me, like like I can't even handle it. It's so she is. She's in the psych word, but it's a good it's a good place to be. Like she is, she qualifies as someone who's like and I'm saying, this is someone who has these kinds of thoughts to really dark thoughts, really sexually deviant. And that's not that sexually devian, but like writing mind, like owning someone's leg is kind of a hot like almost the.
Upper very like sexual area. The upper thigh is a very like intimate area.
Yeah yeah, and the way she says upper thought, like okay, we'll get to that later. Okay, So who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you if not me? And then she laughed at his face when he said she said, you're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patty Smith. This ain't that, Chelsea. I'll tell we're modern idiots.
Yeah.
I love that you smoked the n eight seven bars of chocolate. We declared Charlie Pooth should be a bigger artist. I scratched her head. You fall asleep like a tattooed golden retriever, but you awaken with dread and pounding nails in your head. But I've read this one. You where you come undone? I chose the cyclone with you. Okay, so she's already read this one.
She knows what she signed up for, like she's worn him for.
It's history here, Yeah, there's history here. And then uh, I love the way she says, no, fucking buddy, woof, that's a good drop of fucking Yeah. Yeah, this one's really good and fun and it's really grown on me and I love it and it's our worked for by my account, we're two out of two on songs about the person we didn't think we'd get an album written about. And now we're gonna go three for three because here comes My Boy Only Breaks his Favorite Toys, which is my second favorite song on the album right now. Really it is, Oh my god, I'm kidding in my face thinking about the song.
What no, wait your f okay, No, we still didn't get to your favorite one, yere.
My favorite I think people know, but I'm gonna save it for when we get to it. Okay, My Boy Only Breaks his Favorite Toys was an instant one for me where I heard it and I was like, I love the oh oh oh oh. I loved that. I was like, oh, that's gonna be fun to saying. I think I declared on the Instagram Live that I watched with a bunch of of these that it would be I would be doing this one at karaoke, and you know I will. This one is great. I love it so much. The word rivulets do we have a definition for that? Did you look it up?
Yeah?
You said you did. Rivulets descend my plastic smile. I'm guessing it's.
Like a small stream of water a very small stream.
Yeah, she's crying. The dolls crying. So she already said. We found out on her serious XM thing that she wrote the song about. Uh, when someone like being a toy, story type toy that gets like being up and then it kind of is in denial of why it's being beaten up and it kind of tells itself it's because I'm its favorite. Is that what you got from that?
Yes? I basically got that, like I'm his favorite, like I you should have seen him. You should have seen him when he first got me, Like I'm number.
One, there's no question she is.
Yeah, and I'm his favorite because I could have played for keeps this time because I got because there was I knew too much. We all know a guy in our life where he breaks up because things get real right because he can see the fo because.
They say to yes, Yes, I've always joked that I just like, you know, I I used to joke that when I get rejected, I'd always say the guy was scared, you know, because I used to say that, you know, like he was scared he like truly loved me and he couldn't handle it. And I'm like he loved me so much. He like he's scared. He had to run, you know, he he ran so far. He's engaged to someone else now, he was so scared of commitment. He's just like, you know, it's it's but I here's the thing. I trust Taylor and I know. I know she's so confident that this person like loved her. And I've been I've been this where I'm like, you fucking idioto have fun the rest of your life, always knowing I'm the one that got away, always knowing I knew you better than anyone else. You'll always know that you could have had me and you weren't man enough to fucking deal like to have me, and you could have and you will always regret it. You will always feel like you didn't really just succeed as much as you could in life because you were scared. Like I've told myself that, I staunchly believe that about some people in my life. I'm glad it didn't work out because it would have been a nightmare it would have ended. But like I love that they will always feel at least I will think they always feel that way.
So and there's times where the guy like knows you're incredible, but he doesn't want to date someone incredible. He wants to date someone where he's the star. He's the incredible person, right, Like someone who feels safe or like is not going to leave him.
So I trust her though I think this guy was absolutely obsessed with her, and I think she was and I think she was absolutely obsessed with him and I and and you know, you can move on in life, but like I don't. I don't think it takes any thing away from her current relationship to say that she like had some really unique, hot, loving feelings for this person.
Of course he saw her, ever, so he smashed it up. Like that's it.
Let me just say that people are like someone I had heard was like, I hope Travis has a thick skin, like the way she talks about some you know these guys, like can you handle it? Travis is fine. She took care of Travis in this album. We will get to it. But Travis is a confident, secure man. That's why she's finally that's why she's with him. Like he he's won three super Bowls, he is a star. He is six foot four, He is dating the most. He just won a super Bowl. He's dating a princess. He's not gonna get insecure about this, and that's why he got hers, because he's not insecure because these things are over, they're in the past. So she can write all day long about these guys, and I bet you Travis isn't gonna give a fuck and he's gonna bop out to them just like we are. That would be my guess, because he's secure in his relationship, which he should be, because Taylor doesn't fuck around and we know how she feels about him too, and we'll get to that. Okay, next up down bad. Okay, we're going four for four. If here's word of four so far about I think the person we didn't think this would be about. This is what she says about getting abducted by aliens? Did you really beat me up just to do experiments on? Oh my god? Am I thinking about anal when she said that a little bit? Is that mostly on me? Yep? Yeah it is? Okay, tell me I was the chosen one, showed me that this world is bigger than us, then set me back where I came from. I love this song. I love the verse, I love the chorus. I love that we go from space to crying at the gym, and I love that. We got a little gem snapshot of her in that reel where she looked so fucking good. I screenshoted her doing that like back, like her glute workout, and I was like, on her diankle, Oh my god, she is, She's perfect. She has a perfect body. I even send it to Kirsten, my best friend who's a plate's instructor, and she was like, she has a perfect body, and I was like, yes, she does, thank you. This is that's my girl. Anya with me when I saw when it reel came out, and I was like, look at her body and I noticed, like I shouldn't even it could be at its just body's perfect at any size, at any shape. But I really was like, I'm so, she just looks so good. And Annie's just like, okay, crazy, but she's very sweet and supportive of my swiftiness, even though she definitely is like calm down, girl. But I like this song what about You.
It's again. This one was a slow burn for me. I like it a lot more now. I think for me when I can get wrap my head around the melody of a song. And because this album has every song has like kind of similar rhythms as opposed to other albums where each song is very different. It just took me a while, but yes, I love this song.
I thought this song stood out for me as way sounding different than the rest of the album. But that, you know that, I think is really subjective because some people are like, it all sounds the same. My argument to that, and I'm not saying you're saying that, But when people say that, I'm like, yeah, she's it's all written by the same so yeah, like and that's and if they don't sound the same, dare if she ever makes an album where everything sounds different, they say it's not cohesive. It's like her whole thing about like, if you have an ass, you won't you if you want to be thin, you won't have an ass. If you want an ass, you're not. You're gonna have a tummy. You can't fucking win. So she makes an album that sounds totally different, has a lot of different sonic sounds, which I think is redundant. Then people criticize her for being like she's all over the place, it's not a cohesive album. And now this all sounds kind of the same. Now you're complaining, like, yeah, it's just sound the same. She's going through something and it doesn't and it doesn't sound the same. Like I feel like for me, every album, all the songs kind of blend into each other and then they start to have personalities and you're like, oh my god. It's like when puppies are born, they all kind of are like slow and like and they like if you're picking out a puppy from a litter, you'd be like, I don't know which one. It's kind of a gamble. Who knows what these are gonna turn into for me, you know, in terms of, uh, the personality, and then that starts to emerge slowly. So that's how I feel about that, right, Okay.
Also, just like the visual of her crying at the gym, it's just so relatable.
Yeah, so relatable. And you know she's working out alone because she can't go to a public gym, I mean not alone, but she's with her friends. So it's like, because I can't cry at the gym in most gyms because I'm going to well, no, because I'm in hotel gym, so I'm kind of alone a lot too. Okay, I should relate to that more. But I don't often cry at the gym. I cried at pilates and my instructor has to, like, you know, pretend like she's not saying it even though my eyes are watering up. But yeah, that's very, very relatable. I want to say the lyric down bad waking up in Blood. It reminds me of like when you start your period in the middle of the night. Oh yeah, and also there's it kind of makes me think of anal too. Okay, let's keep going. So So Long London is next, and we have our first departure from the other person that beamed her up and dropped her back down and she kind of wants to go back. Yeah, that's what that song was about. You get picked up, you get you do, they do experiments on you, and they kind of make you their own, and you kind of like it because you're not in your life and you're abducted and then they put you back and you're just like where did you go? And you're kind of feeling empty and sad. So Long London we all were really excited about this one because we're like, okay, well, we're definitely getting some answers to what happened or like some insight on that did this? Did this pull through for you? Like what do you get out of the song?
Okay, So this song I absolutely loved and it's so lyrically dense. It was the first time where it was in the album. Very was like quickquick, quick, quick, quick, Like what did she say? What did she say? What does she say? I think that I think I texted you this Renegade is about Joe, which we didn't know at the time about this person. And there because she's like, I'd carry you up my street and make me, make me your future history and renegade and then here she says, my spine split from carrying us up the hill. So I just felt like that was an.
Extension of renegadreet make me your future history. It's time. Oh my god, that's really good. I forgot that. That's really a good connection.
Yeah, and just the imagery of her.
Because I didn't know who I thought Renegade was about. I new who I thought it was about my own life, literally every man I've ever dealt with. But it really is one of those songs that can encompass a lot of different levels of rejection in a relationship. Or like disappointment.
But after she put out a long story short on evermore, I was like, oh, she's in a secure relationship. It's rock solid. This could not be about him. But now that after and it's just I think that all the answers are here, like, yeah, maybe it is juicy, yeah, but it's the truth. It's like someone was sad and depressed. They drifted apart. She just couldn't keep trying anymore.
Like and I think tolerate it might be this might be giving tolerated a little bit too. Yeah, like we might be getting some insight into even as far backs tolerate it, which you know, I always wondered how about was written about? But I'm sure there's there's information on that out there, but I have an invest But yeah, it's it's giving sweet Nothing to Me, which I always thought was a breakup song because it's just like all your like the word nothing isn't it And people forget that they go like, oh, the sweet Nothing's But it's like the word nothing is kind of hidden in that song, like you're giving me nothing, and that's kind of what it feels like. It's like, how did this end? I don't even know you're kind of giving up. And this is definitely the extension of you're losing me, you know, like you're just yeah, and you say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it. I don't know what to make up that one. Like, let's think of a person abandoning the ship. Yeah, but you didn't abandon the relationship.
No.
I was like in it and like I was either gonna die in it or I have to get out, But I was did she go down? I was going down with it. I just don't get what it means to say I was going down with it like you. But you did abandon it eventually, But she was.
Like, it's the Titanic. I'm sinking. If I don't get off, I'm gonna die. Like I can't live like this.
That's what the color is got to turn to her face, which is from me. My face was gray. You wouldn't admit that we were sick. I mean, there's a lot of different imagery here. That's the same. Okay, next up.
Sorry, I just want to say I died at the altar waiting you swear you love me, But where was the clues? I died on the altar? Waiting for the proof that one killed me Thos, and then you start to the gods of your bluest days, like.
That blue all blue, with all Joe painted the paint of the walls blue. There's a lot of you know, wait, you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar, waiting waiting for the I like how she goes waiting for the proof. That's like she says such interesting ways of doing melodies.
Okay, yeah, the rhythm and cadence of that of that of the verses are incredible. And I love also how she was how the beginning is like so long London, and then in one part just like I waited for so long.
Yes, I freaked out when I heard that. I was just like, you fu genius, you mastermind. Yeah, that song. I'm looking at these lyrics. It's it's it's great, it's so good. It's gonna go down as one of the best and most like And when she busts that thing out at aras if she does theatrically what she wants to do with that song, we will all come around. Like I felt the way about My tears Ricochet. It never landed for me in the way that I needed it to. I just maybe hadn't given it the time. And then eras it's my favor it's one of my favorite songs. Same to tolerate it. Like the way she sold it theatrically, I was just like, oh, I get what she's saying, and I think this one will be very beautiful theatrically. Okay, my favorite song on the album. I'm declaring it nothing will ever even touch it because this one is like one of my favorite songs of all time. I don't want to say never touch it because there's other things that definitely touch it. But Daddy, I love him. Track six I and for you, you're saying, it's I don't want to call you out. This for you has been a skip, Yes, I'm sorry, an initial skip, which we all have, and even Taylor Swift has skips on albums, So that's not saying anything bad. I want if Taylor you're listening, by some chance, love that that does not mean anything, because, as we know, any any skip that you initially have is just whatever you're feeling in that moment. It's not you're not ready for that song yet. Like we can't handle it. It's not because it's not a good song. It's because we aren't. We aren't. We can't hear that frequency yet. That's at least what I would want to know if I were Taylor listening to this and be like, oh, do I have a skip bitch, And I'd be like, yeah, But that doesn't mean it's You're always spitting truth and the most beautiful stuff. So I there's a part of me that's like, if she hears this, I just need her to know that. Okay, But this song, I love it so much. It is just the way it just opens up and you can you can feel her running in that unbuttoned dress. And I oftentimes, like I've dated men in the past where my mom has been like Nikki, he is going to ask you to marry Ane and you're gonna say yes. I just know it. Like she thinks I'm kind of like not. She thinks I'm just like so dumb and like like just uh digmatized. I guess she doesn't use that word, but I guess she just thinks that, like he has got you wrapped around his finger. You're gonna marry him? You are? You better be careful. She's never talking about like pregnancy, because she knows that I would. I don't want to do that, even with someone I want to be with forever. But she's like, if he proposes, you're gonna say yet, Like she's always said that about these guys that I updated in the past that she was worried about. And I'm like, Mom, I would never marry this guy. What are you saying? Like, don't you think I'm in control of what I'm doing. I'm having a little fun. I'm just I don't want to get married yet, you know, like trust me. And so I felt like when her saying like, you know I'm having his baby? No I'm not, but you should see your faces. I've done that to my mom so much, not in that exact way, but just like saying something that sounds like really like threatening, like my mom's biggest fear about this person I'm dating, like being locked in forever and then being like, ah, just kidding, yeah, right, And that's what she's saying to us, guy, chill out about the Maddie thing. And I am desperately looking for it. But I fucking called this shit because I did a podcast that's two Swift two Swifty besties have alerted me to me being the one to say to that Taylor's she was there, Like one said that Taylor Swift hays she needs to know she has a friend in you because you said leave her alone about the Maddie stuff and that let her have fun. She's having fun, and like it's none of your business and she owes you nothing. I said that over and over it she owes us literally nothing, So don't get a fucking attitude about it. You don't even know her, you don't know what's going on, and shut up, Like, let her do what she wants. She could date with whoever she wants, and she's having fun. You're just jealous. I was just like so adamant that all these bitches were just jealous that she's having fun and she's dating someone a little bit like wrong, which we all want to do and we all want to we all want to date a guy who makes us go but daddy, I love him like that's a bad boy. It's fun. So anyway, I want to say that I did. I was not a Hannah and a Sarah in this scenario. I am in many other ways, but and I'm so sorry to all have Sarah's and Hannah's. I know some of you I've talked to on DMS and you're like, oh no, she's like made my name personified with this thing, and it's like no, I would just actually if it said Nicky's, I would actually feel like that was a call out. So I am glad it's not my name. And I'm sorry to Sarah's and Hannah's, but you know, you've had it too good for too long. And congrats to all the girls who are Hannah without an age or Sarah without an age, because that's not that's not the words that she.
Is not you.
Yeah, that's not you. And I love that she said they try to save you because they hate you, like some of her fans hate her, and she realizes that and that is like big, that's a crazy realization to have, and they do and they want to cage her, which we get back to later. There's an imagery of cage. All right, we're back. I felt rather vindicated by but Daddy. I love him. But I also it really resonated with me on a personal level. I think just musically, it's gorgeous. It builds so much when you think it's done, it starts over and uh, and then it gives you this, It gives you the best bridge of the whole album. I think, uh I or just like it's not even there's like eight bridges in the song. This song is so long, it's almost like all too well ten minute where it's just like it has so many different parts that I don't I can't even recognize what's the chorus and what's the verse, like it's it's all over the place. But I love I love getting lost in our songs like this. But it also and this was not like a good job to cracking the code that the last verse is about Travis, but of course it is. Of course it is. Who would think that it's still the same guy. Okay, so let's let's break it down. So the first part is talking about the person that she's talked about for four now out of now five out of the first seven songs is number.
Seven, says no, this is track six six.
Six, Okay, so sorry, five out of fight up that of six tracks. Yes, besides, so long London have been about this person until the very end of this, and we get her first. We're our first thing about uh, Travis. So at the very end, she goes, uh, there's a lot of people in this town that I bestow upon my face as smiles. Uh. Scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer. Okay, So all the fucking scandal around her relationship, guess what it did. It made their bond stronger. So good job doing that, everyone. Uh. They you wanted to do the opposite by discouraging or from doing it, but it actually brought them closer together because they were being judged so much, which you know, Uh, of course that happens, but we don't think it would h When we came back, the heat died down, We went to my parents and they came around, so okay, so they kind of separated a little bit, then they came back together, and then by the time all the speculation and the massive attention of around it died down, she went to her parents. Her parents were like, actually, we really like him, and then all the wine moms were still not convinced. But you know what, it doesn't even matter because it's already over. It's already over, but fuck them, it's over. And so that's she says. She literally it's over. So of course the next part is about someone different. So now she literally says, now I'm dressing. Now, Okay, we're now. So I don't understand why people were so amazed that they figured out the crack, the code that she's talking about Travis. Now now I'm dancing in my dress in the sun. And even my daddy just loves him. We know her dad loves Travis. I'm his lady. And oh my god, you should see your faces. Look at your faces. Now, you thought you thought I was gonna end up with that guy, and you're so worried. And when I when it looked like I was maybe gonna marry him, you guys were so shocked. You look at your dumb faces. Then now look at your faces. That guy you were worried about, he's so long gone. And now I'm with the most desirable person imaginable. I'm America's sweetheart with America's other sweetheart, and we were on the football field kissing. Look at your fucking faces. Was I a mastermind and in control of my life the whole time? Yes? Did I maybe not know it at times? Yes? But did you have any say? Does your say have any Did it affect why I decided to leave or go. No, it didn't. I was gonna be okay the whole time. Stop your meddling. And now look at you, you all eat crow motherfuckers, because you were judging my judgment. You know which I think could be a tailor swift lyric. You were judging my judgment, and my judgment is spot on because look who I'm with. Now, Look who I'm with.
Now.
Know everyone, even the biggest naysayers and the saboteurs and the town halls, are all agreeing that this is just a perfect partnership. Everyone's rooting for Travis and Taylor. And boy did she turn someone that no one was rooting for into someone that everyone is. And guess what, you can't come to the wedding. You're not invited because you didn't trust me before. You're not a real friend. And no, you can't come to my wedding. Get out of it. You're not You're not gonna be invited. Her telling us we can't come to the wedding bold and I like it. I like it. I shouldn't be at your I should be at your wedding because I believed in you all along. But of course I don't feel entitled to go to your wedding, and there are some things that now you don't get to. You don't get to. Now, just celebrate, be on this parade, float with me of life, like yeah, you you doubt to me before you judge me when and you only judge me because you wanted to cage me, and you're probably gonna end up caging me again. So I'm gonna do this. This relationship will probably be judged in some way as well, which it has been, you know, like she can't trust.
Us, I feel you Love Story walked so but Daddy, I love him could run.
That's what people are saying. And I didn't make the connection, and but it's undoubtedly there right, Like but daddy, my dad is you know, she's.
It's such a more mature version of it, Like Love Story feels like the literal teenage version of like you're not going to let me datum what? So I'm grounded And this one's like I'm having his.
Child like yes, oh yeah, that's a good point.
Yeah, but it still feels youthful.
To me in some ways of like the but daddy, I love him, because it's such a thing you say if you're young, Like there's a lot of homages to just teenage angst in this like young hormonal teenage girl angst.
I also think it's like reflective of relationships in general, where you, regardless of your age, do you need to date the guy. You can't listen to other people who tell you you can't date him, You need to go through yourself.
It never works, It just makes you want them more.
Yes.
I like how she calls him me and my wild boy and all this wild joy because you look at her and Travis, and it is he's a wild boy. And look at that he is such wild joy, such wild joy around him. He seems like such a happy person. Yes, And you know she says it about both of them. He was chaos, he was revelry. They both are chaos and revelry, you know, like she said that about the first guy, and she said it about Travis too, And I love I love that echo. He was chaos, he was revelry. And then something very interesting I find musically at the end, so we all know, the chorus is like and I'm running with my dress on button screaming, but daddy, I love him. I'm having his baby. No I'm not, but you should see your faces. And then at the very end she's like, uh, she says, screaming, but daddy, I love him. I'm having his baby. No I'm not. When she does that, no I'm not and the music fucking cuts out is probably my favorite moment in Anny Taylors song ever, baby, No I'm not. But uh no, sorry that was the wrong one. I'm I'm having his baby. I'm having his baby. No I'm not, but but but but you should say your faces. I love how different she she makes that course a totally different melody at the very end, it's brilliant and just everyone go back right now and revisit No I'm not, and it's it reminds me of August. When the crescendo in August, that's like I have to pull it up. But there's a moment in August where it's like boom and it like hits, and it's just like, uh, let me pull it up, because I really want to make the connection of these two songs. August and this song both make me feel like I'm flying and like I'm running in a field flying and back when we were still changing for the butter, that's not the part. But she goes, Uh you remember mine? Oh remember when she goes back when I was living for the hope of all, for the hope, meet me behind the mall. And then it cuts out and it goes Remember when I pulled up said get in the car and then cancel that canceled. That is the same kind of triumphant thing. That's like, no, I'm not boom. I love it. It is such a Tailor Swift signature, uh musical moment, and I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with this song. I fucking can't even take it. We are not gonna get through the whole album because I have to go. But let's just keep going as until we run out and then we'll do a second partner. Okay. Next up is uh Fresh out of the Slammer.
I love Fresh Out the Slammer.
I really like it too. It's not one of my faves just yet, but I do like it, and I know that it's one that's gonna grow on me a lot. Why what do you love about it?
The rhythm Fresh out the Slammer? Like know who my call first will be? Too? Like how like just slow it is? But then when the verse it picks up buta like, I just love it. I just love that. You don't know what she's gonna say next the imagery she's painting like another.
Ye, another summer. Oh that that's ruling Donna. He don't understand me. Oh, yes, you're right, Dinna, Donna, Donna. I really like that verse.
I also love the pre chorus where she's like giving us information and clues about why this relationship was so important because she was under the spell of someone else. It's like a prison. She only gets one hour of sunlight a day, like prisoners can only leave for one hour a day, Like she was handcuffed to that spell.
Oh, I thought she just got out of prison, Like she's not going back. I thought she was, Like she's not like taking a break on the prison yard. She's like out of the Slammer. She just got released.
Yeah, but it's a metaphor for her. The Slammer is her previous relationship. Yeah.
I like, so this is she's talking about getting out of Joe and then running to Maddie. Is this what we're talking about this one?
Yes? But like I loved how she was Like when I was in prison, I only got one hour of sunshine, Like I did my best in that relationship. I only got one hour of sunshine, like the positives would pop up every once in a while.
But oh I didn't see that for just one hour of sunshine, I didn't see that lyric. Yeah, okay, I got it. Oh yes, So while she's in the slammer, that's her life.
Yes, yes, years of labor locks and gray.
And blue and fights and tunnels, handcuffed tunnels is very London. Handcuffed to the spell I was under for just one hour of sunshine and that she's handcuffed to that bed in that in the Fortnite video, years of labor locks and ceilings in the shade of how he was feeling. Oh so he's a depressed guy.
Yes, And I just love how like it's real. But the years of labor locks in I'm sorry. I'm not a good singer like you.
No, I just loved I couldn't lot do that joke. I don't know why, but you are no bad thinger at all. I just wanted to make people up.
No, I am like you're and you have a beautiful voice. No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, I don't. I want to be clear. I never judge anyone's voice. Like I want everyone to sing any time, and you also are not off like you have a good voice. So I'm not gonna say that myself. But even if you weren't, I wouldn't care. Okay, but yeah, I'm this is starting to grow on me now that I'm looking at the lyrics with you and talking through it. It's it's gonna be fun to revisit.
Yes, I just love it because it's there, like from so Long London and this pre chorus like we're getting the reasons it's and it's not like dramatic, you you know, it's just sad. It's just like, well.
What about this camera flashes, welcome bashes, get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge. As I said in my letters, now that I know better, I will never lose my baby again. Okay, so they got back together. She's really gonna try this time. My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it. Watched me daily disappearing. Okay, it's getting bad again. For just one glimpse of his smile. Okay, he's depressed. All those nights he kept me going, swirled you into all of my poems. All those nights he kept me going something's going on at night with him. We don't know what, but maybe they're talking, maybe they something else. Uh swirled you into all my poems is one of my favorite lyrics of this album. Now we're at the starting line. I did my time. Starting line. Isn't that the name of the band that they listened to with the Black Dog? Oh?
Is it?
Let me just go to check where are you black Dog? Because I think there's a band. Oh, my computer's being so slow. Black Dog? Here we go. Sorry, someone cut out this. Yeah, starting line. When someone plays the starting line, yeah, that's the band. My tour manager knows the people in the band, and he's like, oh my god, I know the guy who just like woke up to him being name checked in a Taylor's song, which is would be incredible. Oh my god, my Google just crash. Okay, you know what, This is a perfect time to wrap this up because I have to go anyway. We are going to pick up where we left off. We will start, we'll finish the conversation about Fresh out the Slammer, and then we'll get to the rest of the album. Here with no Nora Hadidi. I hope you guys enjoyed this this is so fun for me, Nora, I hope you had fun.
Yes, absolutely. I mean I'm just like processing emotions, so fun is like maybe not at the top of the list, but I'm trying to have fun. But just really like.
This isn't like this really, this is like kind of torturous for you, your tortured poet.
I guess I am. I'm a tortured poet like.
Mother because this is like I just said to my friend, I am like dating this album. Oh my god. This was a line I had the other night to Anya, like we are leaving one of the venues late at night, and I had this like overwhelming feeling. You know that feeling when you like are first crushing on someone and you like are waiting to get their text and like you can't wait to get away from your life so you can go like text them and just like be wrapped up in that. Yeah, I was feeling like that. I was like, why am I? Why am I feeling like I'm so I'm good to text a boy or some like like a new boy, you know, like I'm in a relationship. We're not like texting like flirty all night. And and then I realized it was this album I was it was feeling like I got to get to go back into this like little fantasy world. It's been really fun for me. I'm sorry it's not been fun for you. And it's like been emotional. But like, does do you like feeling like you're obviously working through maybe a heartbreak of your own? Is this is it pulling up feelings you don't didn't want to pull up? Or is it like does it feel good?
I feel like from my life, I'm just so connected to what she writes, Like I've been listening to her since I was nineteen, and I'm thirty four, so the emotional places I go to, like like I can access through herself. No, I'm a year older than her. I'm eighty eight.
Oh that's great.
I'm thirty five. I keep telling people I'm thirty four. It's crazy because this is the third time it's happened this week. It's okay in denial about being thirty five.
Yeah, No, thirty five is great. Thirty five years older than her. It's it's like I wish even though I feel like we were born on the same day, you know, like, but that's you obviously. Yeah, that's what I wanted to say about the Red when I was like saying, we've never got a message in a bottle, Like I'm kind of unclear about what was on Red and what wasn't, Like I kind of went through Red and speak now and fearless with the re releases more than I did with them because they all came out before. I was a fan of Massive, you know, Swifty, So I sometimes I'm unclear about the Yeah, I'm not a perfect Swifty by any means, but no one is. But yeah, that's that is. You've been through a lot with her, and yes there's a lot of empathy going on. But the good news is she's so fucking happy now.
Yeah, I'm so happy for her. She deserves it, so happy. And I guess I feel a bit guilty for like not understanding what she was really going through with Maddie, Like I just genuinely thought it was like a flaying and that she ended things with him, Like I wish I was more empathetic to what she was going through honestly, how.
I was, like I felt it. Oh, And someone else also called out and said, Nikki, remember when you said that there was a sadness to some of her like, even though she hits all of her marks and she's perfect on stage, you could just send something you weren't wrong, like you weren't wrong, and oh yeah, I said it on the podcast. I said a bunch like and I felt really bad saying that because I don't want to ever accuse her of like me sensing something that isn't professional in what she's doing, or like she wasn't amazing, or that show somehow wasn't as good because she wasn't I sense to sadness. That's not it at all, Like she's always one hundred percent perfect. It was just I sensed something, and I knew exactly what Maddie was exactly. I have had Maddie's I know. I was one hundred percent for it, one hundred percent for maybe two on board. I was so on board that Chris made a shirt that said Team Mattie that he wore to the Chicago show in early July. It's a team Maddie on the back, because I had convinced him that, like everyone's so mad at her, but fuck them, let her do whatever she wants, and so it was hilarious. Now you can't wear that, even though it was really a funny shirt he made, but the front of it was really cool too. But uh yeah, so I've I've always been I just I. And you know again that that thing that we all were like, what is she doing was a response to this thing we all were mourning the loss of too, Like her breaking up with Joe's hard on me as well.
Yes, because we've invested, like I said, reputation.
Love, like we were never gonna be okay with Matt, Like people were never gonna because he was just the next thing. And we're like, it's not Joe, it's like chill out.
Also, like Maddie's like a public idiot, like he says things that can be like offensive and hurt, actually hurt people's feelings, but he's not aware, like and we're just used to her being so aware of her fans and a can can no share.
What you shared with me about Maddie.
Oh my god, wait when we were in Boston.
No, didn't you say, were you the one that just told me that you were like getting kind of horny for him? Or you can see it?
Oh my god, Yes, I'm so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed.
Join the club I've been in that club for a while, like a while, and I don't see why everyone isn't. I mean, I feel like, yeah.
I only found out. I've never seen him on stage, never heard his music. I saw this.
Oh his music was so good. I'm so into it.
Yeah that's the thing. And I only found out about him when it was like all the backlash from the podcast he was doing. So I was like, not invested in this guy. And all I knew about him was he was dating Queen Taylor, who nobody deserves and also just like talking shit online. So I was like, who is this guy? But yesterday, like I told you, I got high and then I started watching his music and his like videos on YouTube and Instagram, and I was like, this guy is hot, Like yes, this guy like good sing and his lyrics, he's he's Taylor.
He's like, there's a swift vibe. There's a lot of emotions going on, great lyrics, great vibes. Every song sounds different, they're a they're amazing. He's amazing. I get it. I get it. And he's a flawed person. Obviously he hurt our friend, but I think she would even still say he's great at music. And I definitely think she would still agree that he's hot, like or there was a sexual appeal to him. She would not be mad at us for agreeing with her. And we're saying that just supportively. Yeah and so yeah, anyway, we have to end this. I love everyone that listened and made it this far in this over an hour and a half podcast. Thank you so much for listening, Nora, thank you for being here, and we'll see you next time on this swifty special edition of the Niki Laser Podcast. Swiftly out
