Between you and Nikki, everyone has a dating history and it's ok to see it on social media. Nikki lets Andrew in on the chain she has going with her closest girlfriends and their latest inside joke. You Heard it Here First, Andrew crushes the headlines with his personal story that is out of this world. They cover their Top1 Bottom1 "touches" and in the Final Thought Nikki and Andrew share their last words.
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The Nicky Nicky Yeah, opening up buzzy Via, getting ready for the pod. It's Monday. How's it going out there? Everyone? Welcome to the Ni Glazer Podcast. Having a great day so far. I hope you are too. We are going to have such a good show for you today. I feel it in my bones. Welcome to the show. If it's the first time listening, welcome. There's lots of insaide jokes you'll catch on soon. Um, we love having you. We always invite new people to listen. If you're returning, Uh, bestie, that's what we call you. Welcome back to the show. I thought about you guys a lot this weekend, and I journaled about you, and I just love I just love people that listen to this podcast. It brings me immense, immense joy and I feel, um, very close to you, So thank you for listening. Uh Noah is here today. Hello Noah. Hi, Nikki. Noah is an Arizona. She's a producer of my show. I don't know why I wanted to like reset today and just bring anyone in who might be new, because I feel like we've been kind of disregarding that and I want to just keep it so like table that always lets in new people in the cafeteria. Like we sometimes I can be a bitch and like be the bitchy girl that's like don't sit with us, But like that is not today. I want you to sit with us. Welcome in and as always, you can drop in and out of the show. This is like a morning radio show. You don't need to like listen to every single one, but I love people that do no. Uh, starting off the show today, we were talking a little bit before we got started, and you were like, F Boy Island. You you are now a fan of the show. You've let it in your heart. You want to know things. I have a lot of people reaching out to me. I mean I have had the same phone number for um, I guess since of since high school. I'm not even joking you. And there are people that have got my number back in college and high school, which has now been twenty years ago, you know, for people from my past reaching out because of F Boy Island. Like everyone has reached out to me. I'm getting random numbers just like what what are your thoughts or just people. My lawyer sent me a huge thing about like all of his I mean my lawyer lev Ginsburg, who is not f by Islands, probably like Prime, like Target. He's obsessed and his got's family into it. And he said that his his wife was mad because he let his kids watch it and his kids are young because daughter is like ten or something. I'm like, gosh, she's too young, UM for it. Her name is Shira. I love that name more than anything. But um, he was like his wife was mad because they put it on and right out of the gate there was probably a calm on your face choke. And then he said that the kids have started chanting f Boy Island and they want more, and so she gave in. Uh, it was really funny. So, UM, what do you want to know? Noah, I I'm I'm actually I don't like when people reach out to me about it because it feels like I just can't tell you things I actually do. I just heard it though. I just don't have time to get back to all of you. So all the d m s I'm getting from besties, I see them all. If I hurt them, I like them. Sometimes I really want to reply, but I'm like I can't. Um, so just know that I, UM, I probably read your thing, unless it's a giant thing of text, in which case I like sometimes don't have time to read it, but I do skim it. Okay, what do you want to know? Noah? Alright, So when I was watching it last night or binging, I was wondering, because I don't know how what episode are you on? Oh I'm I'm I'm up to date? Are you I'm not even up to date. I only just took down four last night. I mean, it's a lot for me to watch because I have so many insecurities about my own performance. And then I forget that I'm even on the show, and I get wrapped up in it, and then I come back on and I go, oh God, but um, okay, so tell me. Okay, I don't think I'll be giving away anything major in this. But the girls get access to the guys uh Instagram accounts and they look through it. And I was wondering, if you were dating a guy and you went to his Instagram page and you saw photos from like a previous relationship, I want to know if that would be a deal breaker. Okay, Um, are they together anymore? They're not together Garrett, because Garrett, it's in question whether or not he is still with his girlfriend that he claims was an ex they broke up or and it's it's all very shady and um, you gotta watch to understand them up to four. So that's where I met at four. But I think my favorite episodes it's so good. Um, okay, what I love this question. No, you know what I think is weird is when I mean it's a good way to know if someone is in a relationship because all of a sudden there's like no history that a girl was ever in their life if you go through their instagram, you know, like if you're dating someone knew, you go back and there's just like nothing. I don't have a problem with it if it's over, if the relationship is over and they kept like memories where there's like pictures of them maybe not kissing, but like memories of them like at a wedding together, like posing in a pretty setting. Like I don't I really don't have an issue with men having loved someone before maybe in a different way that they can love me maybe and I just maybe not deeper. I don't want to say that. Like I hope that the person I end up with loves me the most of anyone they've ever loved. That's the goal. But if it's a different kind of love, I can be okay with that. I can just like I I can be okay with that. I don't understand why I don't want someone to be in love with someone while I'm dating them. I don't want that emotional thing, as you guys know, Like I don't care if a guy I am dating were to be on a boy's trip and like hook up with a girl like in some foreign land like Austin, Texas or I guess, but I don't. I don't want them to have an emotional connection. Yes, there would be something about it that makes me jealous, but hearing about like a love before me, but to completely eternal sunshine some your partner's life. I know that I don't expect my partner to like hear everything about my past, but it is something for me that I'm realizing. I don't like when men can't handle that I have a past. I can't. It's just much like you know, I I want to be okay with it because most men do not want to know. Andrews one of them. He doesn't want to hear about your past boyfriends if he's dating you. He doesn't want to know that you hooked up with anyone. He wants to lick in his mind create this kind of virginal person which he knows isn't true, like obviously, but um, he doesn't want to know details. And I feel like every man I've ever dated doesn't want to know details of the past. And I'm horny for details of the past because that girl is gone, Um because I had her killed. Did I just say that? Um? I mean she died tragically in a way that they still don't understand. Like she was just like taking a picture on a ledge and like, oh, strong wind shoved her off violently. But um, I a strong wind with blonde hair in a um wearing all black. But anyway, I uh yeah, I don't care, would you I bet you would? It used to really bother me. I don't even like with AV. I think it was maybe like eight months before I looked at his Instagram page. WHOA I'd love for a guy to not have an Instagram page. I'm being completely honest, Like, no Twitter, no Instagram, you know, unless that that's part of their like profession. Um. I read on Reddit the other day someone wrote girls who don't. It was in like an ask women subreddit. It was like women who don't post their social lives on social media? Why And all these women were just like, I don't know my private life. It was my private life and I just don't want to. And I was just like that's cool. I mean, I'm going to do that eventually. I'm definitely gonna Taylor Swift my next relationship and not gonna blab about it all the time, um and try to keep it like special. I don't know if I'll be able to do it, but um, I do, I do, Like I don't, I don't know. There's a part of me, Noah's so badly that wants to not be famous and not be a person that people recognize. Like I think I would start an a SMR channel if I was someone that could be anonymous. I think I would. I would definitely, um start at like a guitar like a YouTube of like you know, I'm learning guitar. Here are songs I'm putting out. Um, but the fact that people know who I am and I could be recognizable on it prevents me from doing it. When when your ce liberty and you can't get out of here, I get it. I asked for this and I could. Yesterday was practicing practicing guitar. I just felt so lame, like trying to be like singing like this, like trying to sound so like soul full, like it's so embarrassing. So I'm learning this Flume song. Do you know that Flume song that's like, um, it's called never be like You, Never Be Like You? Well would I do if that could change? The sickle mon it out? It's like a beautiful song about like being someone who can't accept love and it's called it's by Flume and it's never be Like You. It is the name of the song and I love it. And um, my voice is too husky to sing it at the right key, so I've modified it to be low. And I was like really impressing myself with how I could be, Like what would I do if I could change? Like I was being like like growling and like really sounding like jazzy Jeff no no, I was really sounding like very Etta James, like like jazz club. And I was like, oh my god, I got to create a character, because if I'm able to do a character, I can do anything. Um, So what were we talking about Oh yeah, would I get jealous? God, I have so much to say on that. I was really talking about it a lot this weekend with a Meal and Emil Joachim, who is going to be a part of my tour now my stand up tour, because he did a guest set over the weekend Atlantic City and was so fun to have with us. We wrote so many jokes together with me Andrew and a Meal. We were just like, this is great. But we were at dinner talking about all of this and um. And then my Uber driver on the way home from St. Louis was talking about it because she was she had heard of f Boye Island. We got in the car in St. Louis and she was like, how was your trip, guys? And I'm just kind of like good, We're just so tired. We got in from Atlantic City. I woke up, you know. We flew into Atlantic City, got to drove an hour from Philadelphia, got to the casino two hours later, We're doing the show, did the show, hung out, went to bed, woke up three hours later, got in the limo again, took a flight like it was just a fucking whirlwind. I got in the Uber. I just didn't want to talk, but this girl was like really chat and so nice. And the first thing she said was did you guys? Were you on a reality show? And I was like what and she was and I go. We both Andrew and I looked at each other like like, um, not this time. We kind of laughed and she was like, yeah, I just picked up someone yesterday that was on a reality show. Um. They were all filming some Discovery Channel show. And I was like, I'm actually the host of a reality show that I think you should watch called F Boy Island. And then we got talking about it and about um, like why you go for F boys? Who? Uh? Because I go for F boys. I'm attracted to F boys. I'm gonna tract to do men who can't love me. It's not about I like I like them necessarily. I just sense that they can't fully love me because I don't. And that's why I like that Flume song. It's like, what would I do if I to take away this fear of being loved? Allegiance to the pain. Now I funked up and I'm missing you. I'll never be let you. So obviously this girl like cheated on her boyfriend. Or did something to push him away because she's scared of being loved, and I like really relate to that. And I don't know why I'm afraid of being loved, because it's seemingly all I want. Anyway, we're talking about it with this woman, and I was we were just getting on this the thing about cheating and monogamy and if it's natural, and I just I've just been talking about it with a meal and Andrew. I just don't understand why women and and men too have to be in denial about the fact that the person they choose to be with is still going to be sexually attracted to other people. It's just you cannot deny it. And if you do, you deny that they're human being, like an animal with like you. You can be in denial of it, but it's not going to serve you to be in denial, Like you should see your partner for what they are. And it's like a human being that can't help the way they're wired, which is to fuck things or be fucked by things. People men um women. Uh, And when you get married that doesn't go away. You don't get your brain operated on and have that part of your brain frozen. If you could, they surely women would have men go through these treatments, and men would probably go through those treatments so that they didn't have to be attracted other women and want new pussy. The thing is, stop denying that, and when you when you actually let it in your heart that your husband or your boyfriend would like to funck other pussies and it has nothing to do with them being more lovable than you and him wanting to be with them and like support them and save them during a crisis and like be their partner. There's freedom there. And if your partner has a crush on someone else at work, or like develops feelings for someone else while you're together, if you have an open dialogue about the fact that we're both going to still be attracted to people, and it's gonna happen in the core us of our relationship, because especially when we go through periods where we don't like each other, we're resenting each other because we're we're you know, one of us is distracted with work, or one of us is distracted with a mental illness or an addiction, and then the other person feels neglected. They're going to develop a crush on someone. Now, if you are in a place in your relationship where you cannot be open and communicate and act like you are human with thoughts and desires possibly for other people, it's going to lead to you cheating, whereas instead, and you know it's very hard to do. Think of how hard it is to tell someone you cheated on them, which is what you're going to have to do eventually they're gonna find out, or you're just gonna live alive the rest of your life, which is like the worst thing. Either you wait for that down the road, or you get ahead of it the second you have a crush and you tell your partner, which is very hard to do. I have a crush on someone. I'm feeling sexual desires and emotional desires for someone. I don't want this to ruin us. What do we do? And as hard as that would be, and as much as you might think the person you're with would reject you, if they do reject you before you've done anything with that, and they reject you because you had a feeling you couldn't help that you didn't act on, then you shouldn't be with them. They should be understanding enough that they that I know it's going to hurt their feelings. They should be able to handle that and appreciate that you came to them with that. But what when we live in this world of denial where we get married and we just act like our husbands aren't gonna want to suck other things and we're not gonna want to get sucked by other things, We're living a lie. And I think that lies and dishonesty are I know, for me, everything is related to me lying everything. I had to lie um recently for some stuff, and UM, it has been terrible. It's why I went into a depression last week. It's why I felt literally, it's why I felt fat last week. Listen to me when I say that I felt fat and stained. Every when I said I was stained, I'm a stained person. I am ugly. I mean, I was having all the thoughts that you have when you are sick in the mind, but you actually are, like, no, I'm seeing things clearly. I'm old, my skin is pasty, I'm my hair's dry and breaking, it's falling out and fat. But all these thoughts directly related to the fact that I had to lie last week. So and I had to do a lot of work to get there. But I realized that if I stay honest about everything, not everything, you don't need to be rude to people and tell them, you know, but when you were. When I lie, I end up feeling ugly. It's such an interesting thing to be able to trace a line directly. I feel like Charlie Day and that one mean from always stunning with all the lines on the board, that string lines connect, like this conspiracy theory. There is a direct string from lying, even the littlest lie, to me feeling like I'm ugly or or fat or just in just being, which is a symptom of depression. And what makes me feel depressed is being dishonest with myself and with others. And oh my god, I gotta get to the stained thing. I'm gonna do it. So I'm gonna bring Andrew in because there's a whole thing I want to go into. If you didn't listen to the podcast last week I was in, I funk I would just skip it. But I did do an episode in which I was talking about feeling like a stained person, like I just feel like every all my clothes are gross, like even if I have new nice things. I wear it once and it will just be soiled in some way that it maybe not even like actually like I'll spill something on it. It'll be clean, but it will still smell weird, or just the fabric will change because I touched it, you know. And these are all I don't feel that way today. In fact, I'm sitting next to my Bissle carpet cleaner, which I just used to get up the coffee stain. Look at the coffee color. Oh my god, it's spelling shit. Um listen, I even spill the bistle cleaner. That's how much I spill things. And I'm but I'm not a stained person. We'll get to that in a second and elaborate with Andrew. Hey, Andrew, he um, you just said that Noah looks European. Yeah. I mean any time a person's wearing a soccer jersey, I just assumed they're from like Spain or France. Yeah, I mean, is that a soccer jersey. I'm just wearing an Adida's shirt with three stripes on the shoulders that Nikki gave me like two years ago. It's like a ring or tea white with black stripes on the top. And it's so freaking cute. God, why did I give give that to you? I wanted back. Next time we're hanging out, you have to give that back to me. I have a stain on it, and I can send it back to you if he does it really have a stain on it? Is it from me? No, it's from me. It's an oil stain from me? Oh good, okay, good, Well look at your stain too, Andrew. I just I didn't get to talk to them about the stain stuff that I shared with you this morning. Okay, Like, do you ever feel like a stained person? Yeah? All the time. I'm like, that's like one of the things I'm known for by a lot of my friends. It's always have Brenna says, I always have one stain, and we miss her so much. God, I miss her. She Yeah, you always always have one stain. If I I like white T shirts, they last thirty five minutes before I look like a laundry so infrequently that you, I think, and you even admitted for a while you were so depressed in your life at some point that you would just buy new clothes you wouldn't wash them. Yeah, I'd buy new clothes I'd flipped a mattress if or I would maybe flip the sheets, you know, anything to keep me as lazy as possible. Yes, um, but yeah, I I always have a stain. It's always usually tomato sauce based, coffee based. I can't get it out, which is uh, it's always uh yeah, you know people say, oh, you just gotta take oil and vinegar or whatever to get it out rubbing now yeah, yeah, no, you're right. There's always a bunch of um. I was talking about this last week, remedies or like things, but then you have to go buy those things and do them and do like an arts and crass project, and I just don't want to do it. I'd rather just why don't we make something with all that stuff in it? Or like tide pens are amazing, I say, if you could carry one of those on you, But tide pens are actually great. Um. So I was talking last week about feeling stained, and we have a chain going with all the girls that went to to Loom, which is my best friends from high school, Kersten Taylor, Sarah Lena, my one of my best friends from New York. Um Noah, of course, Carlisle Forrester comedian and um Robin my makeup and hair person on uh F Boy Island, which, by the way, she killed it. Like I've never looked anytime you you look at Fboy Island anytime I've watched it and going, what the funk? Look at my makeup? It's because I did it myself when she was out of the room and she was just like Nikki, your brows or there's a shot of me where my brows I look like a drag queen. It is so insane. It's the still image for the fourth episode. If you go to f HBO Max you guys, my brows are so awful. Please do not like send me a picture or anything. I know, you don't need to write me and go I know they're really bad. I know, just go look at it. Um. But she she really killed it, and I'm excited to have her in my life. If she sucked at makeup and hair, it would suck to like try to like have to tell her I don't want her to do stuff. But she's she's my go to um now, even though she lives in the Caymans anyway. So we are on a What's App group message thing which I love What's App compared to texting because it lets you know how many unread messages you have. It keeps everything. It's just I know I'm late to the game on What's App, but I also love that it's a separate app that is just for that conversation. So I my text are mainly work and other people, and then WhatsApp is just for this really fun chain of like connection and like vulnerability, and we're all just like so like kind to each other and make each other laugh. Honestly, my Kersen is the funniest person I think I'll ever now. And I just told her today that I'm so glad you don't want to be famous, because you could be and it would like and everyone would realize that you I steal, I steal my your essence, and that's I'm just well, it's not I've become other people since I've mixed a bunch of people's essences to make my own, and now I'm kind of finding my own. But Kirsten is so funny. So Carlole started this off by hearing the podcast on UM Sorry one second. When Carlisle heard the podcast the other day where I was talking about feeling stained, and she wrote to all of us um or she did a voice memo to all of us, and I just want to play it because it made me laugh so hard and it led to so many funny things that I just want to share with these people. Okay, so this is Carlisle. Um. I'm gonna do it at two times or one point five times to speed. That's the other thing I love about What's up is the voice memos. You can speed him up. Here we go, He's so I don't feel imposter anymore. I listen to the podcast the other day and you're talking about being a stained person, and I think this is something that's grouped and enjoy. Does anybody remember the nineties band Stain. Okay, I'm gonna refresh your memory. They sang a song that was like good wow, dude, dude, or something like that. Does anybody remember this Sustain? I get thinking about what you're saying, your stained person, like your real state. Okay, So she's calling me a stained head because like when I was a stained person, she was thinking that. I was like a fan of Stained And if you don't know the band in the Stained, it is that band that sinks and everything I can't remember. No, no, no, no, no no. It was on the radio all the time around like two thousand and eight, two thousand nine. No, are you a Stained fan? I'm not a I never got into Stained, but I know we're like the band and stuff. He's very sweaty, very past. Aaron Lewis is his name? What is this thing? You know? His name? Aaron Lewis? WHOA? That is not what you would think. The name is also Uncle Cracker, which not many people know. Yeah, same guy. Yeah no, you know that's not true, but I bet you someone would have believed it and we just kept that is so funny or or like Sean Mullins, remember that I grew up with the rodeo and the boulevard the guy that's like and everyone was there. It was Buddy Holly and Sonny and Share. It's like everything. He's one hit wonders from like the late nineties, early Nashville. Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what we always say. We always referenced Seawan Mullins, where is he at all at the Cracker barrel? So then Kirtin goes into singing Stained lyrics like now we've taken the Stained. It's been a while format and now we are going to make it at inside joke and I want I want to bring the best season on this because it's so fun to just do. It's been a while, and that's what we're gonna. So here's Kurston. Yeah, you'll want to after we get through this. Okay, So this is Kurstons. Okay, so this is Kurston's. I'm gonna play at one point five the speed. Last time I played Carlos at two point times the speed. Here we go. It's been a wow since I'm gone, fucking ends up, just laughed off, always done. It's been a while, And my hand, that sounds exactly like saying, am I right? Um, it does sound exactly like I want to play it again at the right speed because she actually nails the impression. Been a wow since I'm gone, fuckings up, just laughed off, wires done. Okay, it's so good. Now I'm gonna I'm gonna beef up the speed because then she gets into making jokes about it. In my hand that sounds exactly like sing am I right? But everything disappears, man, I'm right yo. I'm walking down the street my neighborhood can you imagine like seeing like a house life singing. It's been a wow. Okay, next story about the guy. Wait, hold on, okay, so now Carlisle is going to get back in on the party. Yes, that is the one, and I think this needs to be the song that we like seeing anytime anybody feels like an imposter, to make yourself laugh and you can just be like, it's been a wow since i'spute the whole call feel my carpet. It's been a wow since I cleaned my house now curse it. Since I I'm looking like a man, it's been a wow since I've chirkeed a proper mail. Let's takeout in man. It's been a while since I've got to a proper meal. It's take out in my hand. I am dying. It's been a whow. It's so fun to do that and everyone can hit that note. Yeah, it's not it's just a strain. It's not too difficult. How does that song start? I feel like it starts like really like I know how it ends. It ends mysteriously. It goes at the very end, it goes since I for so you and it's like see when on seven bringing all the hits on a summer hot day, we got Kayo coming up with kiss Me through the phone. Like it's just like it reminds me so much of like the summer DJs Copelin How wait, so now, let me just say that Taylor gets on the chain and she is showing us a tour of her house and she is talking about how she is. One of Taylor's hobbies, she's a very interesting person, is collecting bugs. Okay, well you're getting you're getting ready. Oh, I guess it just starts right, it's been a while, that's not just let's see, it's been a while old my head up high, it's coming back to I love this song. Okay, okay, so then on the chain. It's been a while since I did laundry, separate the colors and whites. It's been a while since I since I addressed one of the piles in the four corners on my room. And it's been a while since I brush my teeth or went to the dentist. And it's been a while. I just got a shower caddy. You did get a shower caddy. It hasn't been a while since my tooth first been on the floor. Of my shower. It hasn't been a while since the longest pube you've ever seen touched the back of the brush. Dude, I filmed the shower the other day. That was vulnerable, vulnerable. I mean everything about that was vulnerable. You were really really vulnerable in that video. We showed your room, which was a nightmare, and I just talked about cleaning it two days. You were really you're really cocky about what happened there. What happened between you being like, I'm I'm doing it, I'm gonna clean because listen, we all really it was like after you clean up all the rubble of war and then they're like, we got one more bomb for you. So like, I cleaned up a good amount and then somehow within two days another bomb went off. I don't even know how it happened. Yeah, I'm the same way. I I YEA. So for those of you might not see in our Instagram story, which you can't miss stuff that we post on Instagram because when we do, it's so vulnerable and funny. Uh Nikki Glazer Pod just you gotta request access because it's private, because we do put stuff out there that's vulnerable, and so the other day, Andrew, Uh, what what was it going in there to film in the first place? Oh, I know, because you had gotten a shower caddy so that your toothbrush wouldn't be on the flower floor of flower shore um. And you you got a caddy in the picture on Amazon, there were there. The caddy had been filled with things, your shampoo, there's condition there. There is a cup that has like a thing in it, but not even a toothbrush on the thing. But he thought all of those things would come in the caddy instead of just was the caddy. Yes, yes, it was a false advertising. I got booze, I got bamboozle. I tell you, when you buy a shirt, do you think the man is coming is wearing the shirt? I'm always mad when he's in the package. Okay, Well it was hilarious because then I realized I had bought you weeks ago when the toothbrust thing came up. I had bought you two toothbrush holders and tons of toothbrushes to fill tooth so then be everywhere. Not because well not because I wanted you. I want you to have better oral hygiene, because I want you to have like it's really important for your health, to take care of your teeth. And I actually am, like, legitimately worried about you, but not in a way that I'm like, I just want you to because I know that way the brushes really makes me sound like a dirty man. I do brush my teeth, but only when you shower. You said sometimes you don't. Though. If you skip a day, then you skip a day of brushing. So I just wanted brushes to be everywhere, and you might have. Now that's good. I think people think my mouth is a goddamn dumpster fire, and it kind of is. It's not always on fire. How long has it been since you've been to the dentist? They're still around. I mean, I'm guessing the one that you have gone to before died. Yeah, you know how hard he worked that day he died exhaust Well, I told this story I've never told on the pod, but I went in to the dentist and the guy goes, so, how long have you been a smoker? And I go, because how many years have you smoked? I go, I've never smoked a cigarette and he just looks at my mouth. He goes interesting, and oh my god, it's like, how long have you been eating dogshit, and I'm like, never, never went, never assumed. I mean, that's like the pregnancy of mouth, Like when are you do um? So real quick? I just would have finished the same thing talking about my teeth. Yeah, oh my god. Yeah, No, your teeth look fine. Actually it's just like they can look fine, but I know that there's stuff, there's gum stuff. Yeah, and I come from a family where teeth will get lost out of the mouth. Yeah, my grandpa te Yeah, my grandpa Henriett at all fakes on the bottom. Yeah, you might just you should just get veneers. I don't know why you wouldn't do that. Yeah, if I got vneers, I'd get even worse vanners than I got. And then I go, ha ha, but I got better teeth underneath. You would buy veneers thinking that the I'm trying to think of like the shower catty thing. But again, there's nothing really that comes with veneers, And I'm trying to think of, well, they could show maybe stains on him, and when they come with no, they don't show stands. Veneers look really good now though, like they look you don't really know when people have them a lot of times you shaved down, but then you just get smaller ones put in complete too late. I don't mind it. Just get a bald, just get a wig. Just I think that's okay when people, you know, people think that you have to like slowly get your hair to come back, like or have face work done in a slow way. Just say I had face work done. Just say I'm wearing a tupee. Like if people ask, and and if you're honest, it's that you free. So let me just say this one thing. So Taylor starts to share about her life. And Taylor is very interesting. She's into like anthropology and collecting bugs and uh her O C D and her like whatever. She's like a very smart person that likes to like make maps, like she actually likes to do cartography. So she is mapping out a reservoir that no maps have any She lives in Woodstock, New York. There's no maps of this reservoir that she lives near, and so she's mapping it out. And she went to the library and went through micro feet and found all these print outs. She wrote down all the people's numbers to call them about like the history of this reservoir. Very interesting person and um showing us all of her hobbies around her house. She collects old bottle like she's always looking for artifacts. She's just so interesting. So um then we so Kirsten makes a it's been a while about Taylor's interests. Here we go, Wow, since I even knew what the fuck car Reservoir really is, I'm gonna look it up on Wakeup. I think it's a body of water something like that. Your whole video, Taylor just made me feel like such a basic bitch sitting here reading a novel from Reasons where there spooning club here. It's true. It made us feel like such amazing business. And then I was laughing so hard at all of this at Whole Foods, cracking up about um, it's been a while and um. So then I sent this one. Let me see since I have left in public that hard. But I was not a Whole Foods and every spot was looking at me. They were mad. I was having fun. I am so impressed y house tailor, and that you do things that's been pouring fun. You're so cute, it's so fun to do. It's been a while, so I just would to encourage everyone to do it. Carlile then made a photoshop of me wearing a stained shirt that I'm going to post on the Instagram today. Um but I think God people have hobbies like that, or this world would not be We wouldn't have found Amerigo Va Spucci found America is looking well. I'm always interested in old school maps, when they had to like, you know, put down like a nail or something, then walk with a string like two miles and then figure out the topography from without being able to see it from above. It's wild. I thank god people are still interested in that stuff, even though we have TikTok. Let's get to the news and Google maps. I'm sure that she has a flip phone. Taylor has a flip phone. She's one of these people that wants to be off the grid, even though she likes to grid charts and he wants to write on grids. Oh man, the news is here, everybody, and we had a great weekend. I hope you did too. I hope you had all the swells and I'm talking all of them. I'm sorry that you're asking your s s DJ right now acting like a B B D. But hey, let's not a B A D dB dumb dumb bitch. Yeah, and a lot of people didn't know what that one was on the Instagram. Yeah, yeah, someone made a thing of all of our inside jokes. D dB is a dumb, dumb bitch, and that can be a guy or a girl. It's not misogynistic or misogynist. And then uh s s d J. It's still a second dust job. Okay, let's what's the first story. Okay, I'm sorry, but right now it's not coming up the email. Is this my sent email? Okay, here it is. Maybe we keep this because it's kind of funny. Okay, alright, first headline, it's been a while since we started the news segment. It's been a while. We might not get to it because the wifire is too late. Here we go. So um. A woman was found swimming inside a seventy foot tall water tank filled with three hundred and fifty thousand gallons of water. She was found swimming. She climbed this water tank. Oh this is like hotel, Yeah, like the Cecil hotel. Yeah, but this girl was alive. She was found They saw her climb a cops are climbing up to seventy ft tank. She just tried to take a little swimmy because the latch was open. I don't know how she knew to the latch with open. Someone was painting it. So is this like a tank that's next to a reservoir, Like it's like for water stuff? Okay, and she wanted to go swimming. I'm guessing this woman was on something like a raft or something. She bring a pool. She was just in there, she was just doing laps. She wanted to what. First of all, you don't know inside that tank it's going to be clean water? Do tanks have that's say, like, this isn't poop on them? No, I would just figure any tank could have feces. Dude, One time I was at camp at band camp. It's been since I've been at camp, and uh, we picked up a rock and a guy fell into the sewer and he was neck up and poop. Oh god, it was the most wild thing I've ever seen. And then he came out and he was in such shock. He just started running around the camp with So that's so sad that I'm guessing he's done now, Yeah, he died. I mean that is so I mean swimming and pool, but you get that why this woman want to go swimming in this tank. Something refreshing about it, especially if you're homeless and you haven't taken a shower in the water dark tank that you flipped the lid on or was it like open air? Was it like an above ground pool that's seventy feet yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a that's a massive above ground pool. There's something about swimming in water that's very deep that is like scary yet also refreshing. Yeah, what do you mean refreshing? I don't know. There's something about buoyancy and like not knowing where the bottom is. I don't know. Have you ever swim in the oceans. Everyone's biggest fear is that you can't see the bottom and what lurks beneath. I mean, I got scared of the lines on the pool as a kid. I'm not gonna like when I can't see anything on the bottom. Yeah, but you swim with whales in the open ocean. I do like swimming with whales, and I don't mind if I see sharks and I can jump I'll I went swimming with sharks. I jumped in because the people on this yacht that are like ran this yacht, these like crew were like, oh, Yeah, you can swim with those are fine. And I just jumped in without any like any other kind of like googling the type of shark making sure. I just jumped in because I could see them and I was told they were okay, and you trusted these people. But I don't wanna. I'm scared more scared of riptides. Okay, So you're more afraid of a rip tide than getting your skin ripped by a shark. Yeah, now why, Okay, I get drowning is a little that's scary, just being sucked out to see and not being able to Yeah, drowning freaks me out. But I don't really think about the drowning part. I just I mean, obviously that's the end of it, but it's more the unknown, like riptides. You just can't see them. They just come out of nowhere. And I know that you're supposed to swin parallel with the shore, but I just don't know in that moment. I'll remember that tactic. So you would rather know the boogeyman's under the bed, and see the boogeyman and see how scary the boogeyman is, and then be cool with the boogeyman didn't not knowing at all that the boogeyman is there. No, I mean, I mean what what you don't know is scarier than what you do know. I think it's like I don't I don't feel that way when I'm surfing. I don't want to know what's underneath the water. I just assume there's nothing. Brings us back to what we're talking about before. When you are in a relationship, you don't want to ever hear about ex girlfriends or ex boyfriends. You want to go swimming without knowing the thing. You know that there's been excess, but you're in denial of it. You're it's skilled denial, and living in denial is bad for you. I believe not. I think there's probably again, like a nice balance of knowing about their ex as and knowing about their past relationships where you don't need to know everything, but not being in complete denial about it. I don't think you should want to be like, so, what exactly did his dick look like? Or what exactly did you know? You would prefer to never know about it? If you could, you only say I would I'll know about it, because you just you don't. I had a dream last night that Brenna cheated and I was really upset. I really hurt my feelings. But she didn't like hook. It was weird. We're at a party with new people and she just like went off without me, and I was like looking for and then she wasn't answering my text and I saw her Instagram story and she was with a guy that like seemed really cool. Oh but they weren't tell but you weren't hanging out with him? Yeah, you love a cool guy. He was jack and looked realte like he could help you with your swing. Um. Yeah, that's that's something you ever dreamed of about someone cheating on you and how did that make you feel? No, I don't think I've dreamed of that. I've just dreamed of people, um being mad at me, or um just being really cruel to me. That's what I have a dream about a lot, is like my family and my UM friends, or like people that I think loved me doing something that I can never I guess, cheating on me emotionally in terms of like I thought I trusted you to not talk to me like that or treat me like that, but not cheating. No, I don't have that fear. Yeah, I usually don't have that fear, and I really don't have the fear ansciously with Brenna, Like I don't think I really do think she'd be loyal or whatever. All Um, psychoanalyze this off, Mike, But I think what we're dealing with is something else than what dreams often present. Not literally what you're scared of, but something else. Next story, all right, So um, A lot of people have dreams of their teeth falling out? Do you ever have that? Do you have dreams of your teeth staying in? I have dreams of moving on of my of my back teeth coming back and being and never hurting. Oh, Andrew, go to the dentist. You go, I will. I mean I've been in. I know, well I've been to one of those in the past year and a half. It's just been a year and a half, which is dude. I know. Greta had a tooth inner stomach. Yeah, it can happen wild all right, after recovering from our heart. That's how you get a tooth in your stomach. Well, you probably slept in my bed. I just thought it was a piece of popcorn. Okay, go on, you get a toothbery when your adult teeth all out, come on, I'll give you some money. How much if I lose a tooth or I've got Caman coins, I can some chuckles I can throw under your stained pillow. If you fail me a grand of tooth, your boy will be gummy. Yes, Okay. After recovering from a heart attack on set, Bob Odin Kirk tweets, I am doing great. I've had my very own It's a wonderful life week of people insisting I make the world slightly better. Thank you. I love everyone right now, but let's keep expectations reasonable. Yeah. He he got that out flooring that you get when you almost when you die, you know. Trevor More Comedian Trevor Moore from Why does Kids? You Know? Um died over the weekend in an accident. No details yet. Even though I'm morbidly curious of what happened, I'm not going to ask. The people that I know probably know, but I didn't know him. Um. He's a father and uh husband and just beloved by anyone who knew him. And I was watching all these clips this weekend. He was hilarious and I was just thinking, like God, I wish he could see what people are saying on Reddit, like people. I was watching his people, his fans were finding out on Reddit and like the comments coming in, and it was making me cry just how much he had moved all these strangers. And I was thinking about, Oh my god, when I die, I am so sad that I'm not gonna be around to see what people will say, because people get so fucking nice when you die, and it's just maybe it's nice boboed and Kirk was able to see, you know that it's a wonder that's what he means by the it's a wonderful life thing. Yeah, I mean that happened to me when I went in the coma. Remember your friends thought you died. Yeah, And I didn't really give him. So will you tell us what you tell our listeners. I was in college. I was a sophomore in college. I know, I was going, what, yeah, this is wild, all right? So I hooked up with a girl who I just made out with her. I didn't even like fuck her, nothing like that serious. And I didn't even know she was into me. We didn't really even talk that much. And then she wanted to come visit me in New Orleans. I was at college at Tulane. She was living in Stuart, Florida, and she told her dad she asked her dad for a plane ticket? Did you make out with her in Florida over the summer? And then I went back to school and uh. She asked her dad for like, to buy a plane ticket for her, and he's like no, and so she went back. She made up the story that I'm in a coma, that I got in a car wreck, and now can you pay for the plane ticket because I'm in this coma? And she needed to be there because that seems like the thing you would have done. She was probably swimming in a water. Probably who this woman is? Right? So so so the guy she tells her dad, who's a doctor. My dad's a doctor. He tells my dad because I see your dad that this guy's that, and it gets your dad and your dad says what Uh, He's like, uh, call me back. I can't talk about no. No. No, He like, I just got launched. Sandwich is good. No. So I don't know exactly what happened in how the game of telephone went on to get to my friends because my I had a cell phone, but it was off, So for three days I wasn't able to be contacted. It kind of shows that I didn't care about needing anyone's attention or whatever, but which was kind of nice. But anyways, for three days my phone was off and all these people it got around and I was in a coma and all my friends thought I was in a coma. Your Florida friends that you were in a coma in New Orleans and no one touch with me. How many days did your friends think? Three days they thought you were I don't know if it was three days. I feel like it was around there, maybe like it maybe maybe two days, because three days they probably would have like so Rusty Rusty and my buddy Kelly were driving to New Orleans to come see me in my coma. So finally I fucking turned my phone on and I have you would think fifty messages I had. I had a decent amount. I thought some girls would be like, no, I always wanted to funk. You didn't get that. It's more like we're coming there for spring break and you're looking dead. Come on, brouh. Yeah, so did what did? Were they talking to you like you were dead? And then like in a Comma were they just like man, I heard about what happened like a vibe, Like I remember Rusty leaving a message like, Hey, we're driving to New Orleans. We really hope that you recover. You know, maybe we'll stop by after Bourbon Street up off. Yeah, we'll play flip cup off your grave. So anyways, uh but yeah, So I just kind of found out kind of how people would be talking, and a lot of people were really sad, Like a lot of the girls in my high school were sad, a lot of guys. But it wasn't like insane. But I kind of do know that, like i'd have about forty people were now people would be sad. You are well known enough, you would have a good you would have a I think you'd be very happy with the response of if you died. But it's the weirdest thing that that's when it happens is after you're gone, like when you can't even appreciate it. It's just I wish there were some way to adequately celebrate someone and think about them in the way that you do when they're gone, But there's no way to do that. I guess, like a wedding to all your friends are like, he's dead to us now. I mean, we're not gonna see this guy until he gets divorced. Yeah, it's pretty much the best man will really be able to hang out with him. Yeah, but but yeah, I guess that's kind of those moments you know Bay on Instagram people most Mother's Day, like you can get celebrated, but not in the same way I guess when you get sick and maybe if people are like if you get sick and you get to the point where you're like, I'm saying goodbye, like there can be that, but if you truly won't ever know, But there's another thing of him going through that, and like that feeling of having it's like when I got stabbed, or like if you you know, when you were maybe sick with your eating disorder and stuff like where you get close to death which makes you feel more alive. I wish every person. Some people go through life and don't feel like they're going to die until they die at eight five, and they don't have that like rebirth feeling. I didn't really get it. When I got didn't I appreciate. I was like, oh God, I have to find some other way to kill myself. Because I like food. Now, I know, I feel like if I had a massive heart attack three days later, I'd be like eating like shitty again and being like, oh man, that was weird. Now. They did a study. My friend recently told me they did a study with ten people and or you know, like they found out like nine of people. If you are told that you're going to die unless you stop doing this one thing, uh, you'll be dead within a year, these people. And it's legitimate things that these people, like, if you don't stop this habit, you're gonna die in a year. Everyone goes, oh, I'm done, I'm done. And by the end of that year, only ten of those people actually are able to stick it out. Even though those other nine percent know that this is going to make them die, they still do it because you just convince yourself. It's like, I'm I'm kind of getting to the point where I'm I want to i want to change some of my habits because I realize I'm getting older, and it's like you just can't do this ship to your body forever without consequences, Like it does catch up to you. The way you eat and the way you frank smoke, whatever it is, um, and it's just there. But they're but that's what people know that cigarettes cause cancer. Yet they still keep smoking and they'll be coughing up black stuff and they still smoke. It's like it doesn't make you stop. It's it takes more than that. It's interesting because like the time frame of it, like if I go, hey, if you can't, you know, eat a protein bar. If you don't, if you don't stop eating protein bar, you're gonna die in a week, right as opposed to you're gonna die in twenty years. Twenty years. You're like, it doesn't really you don't really feel you don't really fear that. Please have the example of the person that kept smoking until they were ninety and Richards out there who like only people go Dirk Steps, you know, every day and it's like already laying like these people that like abuse their bodies and our examples of everlasting people, but they wake up and they feel like ship though, you know, like it's there's they're not avoiding hangovers and all those things like and and and then there's healthy people. I well, I know someone that you know, Kathy Griffin has lung cancer, just had half her lung removed. She's never smoked a day in her life. So there's people like that that you go, well, I'm gonna get it anyway. Let's just but it's all coming back to the word denial, not being honest with yourself, not actually looking at how often you smoke, how often you drink. Oh, it's I drink socially. Well, what does that mean? Does that mean every day or does that mean every weekend? And if it means every weekend, that's you're getting hammered fifty two times a year. That's a lot if you actually look at this, if you look at it all, it's a lot. And that's why, Like I did not see what my eating disorder was, and still until I started being accountable for it and taking pictures of my food before I ate and sending it to someone. And then I started looking at it, I was like, what the funk is this? Like I would go through I would I would see our text chain and it was just me sending pictures of like the weirdest ship and I'm just like, God, when you see it all like this, it really speaks volumes. I wasn't able, even though I knew what I was putting in my body. I wasn't able to see it until I, like, I was actually taking pictures of it. It really helped me. It's like with ted Lasso when they say they don't say the word the yips, Oh yeah, and the psychiatrist is like our psychologists like, why don't you say it? Because, oh, you just don't mention the yips. And the yips is in sports when you whatever, like you you can't because of a mental block, you can't perform well, so you don't talk about it. You're in denial about it. It's like alcoholism and a family, Like, how many listeners out there do you have some kind of drug or and someone in your family has a drug or a problem or alcohol problem and they get wasted and they say all this ship and then the next day everything no one talks about it. It's denial and it's like it runs so deep and you go, no, I know that they said it. They don't know, and so it will never get brought up. Molestation people, the fact that you know you can't be because the molestation makes everyone so fucking uncomfortable because everyone's been molested. No one talks about it. When you don't talk about it, people have shame because it seems like something no one else has. But when you start talking about it, you realize everyone's been and we need each other. You need to can imunity to get over any kind of struggle. You can't do it alone. That's what I found, and I do like the idea of like if you if you get ahead of it, Like let's say someone has some tendencies to be an alcoholic early on and you just have conversation, open conversations. It's not going to lead to an intervention and rehab, Like that's the last resort. That's when people bring it up when it's so bad that you have to, Like what I'm saying, cheating, let's bring it up before it's so bad. I got Develota crush on someone she worked with. Okay, I know she works with a bunch of women, but like if she met a guy and she has a crush on him and she said, do you listen, I have a crush on this person and nothing's happened. Nothing. I don't want anything to happen. I want to be with you. Would you rather that or would you rather just keep it to herself? God, that's tough. I don't know. I really don't know how nice are his teeth? They're nice after got about is really responsible and like his room is clean, like all the things that you aren't he is and uh heuh he just broke seventy Oh my god, dude. Fun that I don't want to know, But she says, I want to tell you because I love you and I don't want to cheat on you, and I haven't yet. What would you say? What do you want to know or not? What? Honestly? Like, I would want to know even more like if I didn't find out more, i'd want to know. Why do you have a crush on him? Is that attraction? Emotional attraction? It's all of those things. I just the way that I felt about you when I liked you, like that early stage of a crush. You've known that feeling, Andrew. What if she added a very important factor, Nikki, which we talked about previously. What if she says, Yeah, I'm attracted to him, but I have integrity and I love our relationship and I would never cheat. Um, it's not that I would never cheat, I don't want to. And I'm starting to see ill and think about this person in a way that makes me scared that I might jump off this ledge. Yeah. Um, and I wanted to tell you about it. It'd be tough, man. It'd be one thing if like she wasn't like with him all the time, you know what I mean. And obviously I'm not there, so part of me would be like, should I let her go and be with this guy because I'm long distance? Like, I would think about that as well. You're not hearing me. She's saying I don't want to cheat on I'm hearing you, But I'm saying even if she said that I would, I would still feel I would still it would still funk with my brain to the point where I wouldn't want to deal with that. Yeah, okay, Well the alternative is definitely she's going to cheat on you, because if you can't talk about it and the person that you're dealing with doesn't get brought in and like it will leave. That's how cheating happens. It always starts with a crush of like, oh, I shouldn't do this, but I'll do It's just a flirtation. I'm not going to do anything. Then it goes to the next thing. Then it's been and you guys get in a fight, and it makes her if you have no idea this guy even fucking This is a pretense scenario, but it happens all the time, and it doesn't mean that Brenna's going to do this. But if it happened, it's it's very normal. Uh. Then you have a fight, and then all of a sudden, it's this guy wants to go out. I'll go out with them because I'm not. It's not a date, we're just coworkers. Then you have a couple of drinks and it's like you're not texting your back and you're being a little pissy bitch about something because you're dealing with your ship. And then it just and then in her mind it could I'm not saying this for Brennan, but this happens all the time. I'm just saying that I think her bringing a crush to you would be the best way to get ahead of it. And I think that how many times do you talk about this crush? Because I don't want to have a million conversations, But well, if it's still coming up and she's still feeling I don't want, I'd rather her cheat and just break up. Well, then they're going to live in denial because she's a person you are with is going to have crushes on other people, and everyone's going, my husband does it. I don't. Yes you have, Yes you have, You're gonna have feelings for other people. And whether I get what you're saying, I'm just saying you need to step up. Is I think what it means she's not feeling emotionally and physically supported enough. And this is a hypothetical. Obviously, now I feel like you're gonna be mad at Branna after this conversation. But like Brenna who she's dating someone else, she's dating our manager Jose or I don't know. I just think that I I hope that I can handle that. If a guy, I think it would be an annoying conversation to talk about another crush more than more than like if it came up like once a week, I'm like, I don't want to be in this relationship. I don't want to I don't think it needs Well, it might get to that point where you go, if you're still having a crush on this person, I'm obviously not the person for you, and then you would break up. But I do think that there's something to someone being able to say that and going, well, can I just can you send me a picture of this person so I can make fun of them for you and we can just like we can we can seam up on this guy and now and help you. What could I do to make you feel like you? Because women, generally, I don't want to speak for us all. If we're feeling emotionally and physically loved, we don't really feel attracted to other people. It's then is different because you guys just want to get your dicks wet and and you have a different biology. But and that's not all men either, by the way. Some men are more like feminine in this way and some women are more masculine in the way that they just want to funk around. But I generally feel that it's just a symptom of the relationship not being the not being good enough. But don't women cheat as much? As I feel like that's a statistic. I just saw that women cheat just as much as men in marriages. Um I wouldn't, Yeah, because they don't feel emotionally and physically supported and men are financially supported. I think that's a big thing, I really do. Yeah, of course it means it's support. If a woman enters into a marriage saying I'm not going to work and I want this because you are going to provide for me. You're my husband, and suddenly that he has a gambling problem or gets fired and can't work and that was part of the plan. There's there's a deficiency now on the agreement that you locked into before you got married, and you have to address that. I'm gonna your boss that fired you, possibly if he has all his tea and he damn it shot. Yeah sixty three. Um, all right, let's get to why do I care? Why do I care? Oh man, why do you care? Dwayne Johnson says he's the opposite of not washing themselves to Leb he like made this whole list on Twitter about how much he showers, how cleanly he is, because Ashton Kutcher and me Lacunas are saying they don't they don't shower their kids. And then, uh, yeah, Ryan Gosling or not Ryan Gosling, what's his name was it? Ryan Gosling? Some other guys said he doesn't clean him Sack Shepherd, that shepherd and yeah, and Kristen Bell said the same thing about the kids, and then Jake Jillenhall said he doesn't shower that often. It might be and people say he might be stinky. Um And says Dwayne, I don't like the Rock. I'm not a huge fan either. I think thy Doth protests too much, and that anyone that works out that much or talks about how clean they are and like how good they are cleaning themselves is hiding hiding. I just I don't know. I just I it's not like I don't like I don't know the Rock. I don't think i'll ever I just I've never understood the obsession with him. I don't. I guess I haven't seen his movies. I really have, and I've never seen a rock movie. He laughs at video, goes in the gym. I just worked out hard. Five am Are you up yet? I am? I feel bad saying I don't like the Rock. I really feel bad saying that, because if I were the Rock and heard this, or like new knew the Rock and I heard this, I'd be like, you don't know fucking rock? Shut up, Nikki. Um So, I just want to say that I am your backtracking on the Rock. Yeah, I'm saying that I don't like the Rock because I feel I'm probably jealous of him in some way or insecure things I'm mad at him about. I'm insecure about the comedian. So comedian that's in New York Geon, I forget his name. I'm sorry, but I'm not trying to like be like cool about it. But I I he said something like, I think this is weirder than the dirty people, essentially, so he just went through his resur Yeah, he takes a shower three times a day. Okay, this guy's I think something. I'm sorry, I'm going to take back what I said. It's not about a security you are if you shower three times a day, you have an obsessive compulsive um disorder, which you know. No judgment there. Um, I just heard things about the Rock. Let me just say that I've heard things about the Rock that I don't care to disclose. But I'm just not a fan. Let's get to top one, bottom one. No one knows what I could have heard. It could have been that he was rude to someone, you know what, Like, it doesn't matter what I heard because it was just a rumor his comedian, Like he wrote back to the comedian. Oh he comes a comedians. Okay, let's take that out. I love The Rock, I love San Andreas. It's made me. It really inspired me trying to find a husband because I was like, I gotta find someone like The Rock in case there's a huge earthquake to save me, because the only people that survive in that movie are He's not gonna be able to shower. Oh that's so true. He's gonna be in a water tank trying to wash on. That's the only way you can make a bath. He's so huge, I mean showering three times a day. How does he get the hard replaces? Because he is so jacked. I'm sure he is a team Top one, bottom one, alright, team? Oh my god, that's so funny. Top one, bottom one, back one, front one alright, So top one, bottom one. Today's category is a kind of touch. Okay, so your least favorite touch in your favorite touch, Let's start with bottoms least favorite touch, and yes, yes you may go go first because I'm still kind of debate. So uh. This was inspired by a post on Instagram that Andrew and Anya made. It was a very beautiful, heartwarming post where he's holding you and an on stage from over the weekend, and then I zoom into where his hands were. Yeah, and that I can't if, like I friend is just thinking about it. Oh my god, they're supposed to wait. No, no, no, no, it's so for me. The worst place that you could touch me is behind the knee, in that ligament. And I can't even look at it. Oh my god, I see what you're talking about, that ligament that stretches out Like why why no h because it's like your achilles like a snap, like he could somehow snap it just just like imagining a finger on it. It just really grosses me out. I don't know. Why does anyone else have that? Please right in if you know what she's talking about. I mean I see it in this picture, Like you're touching the back of Anya's leg. That doesn't bother me. Um, what about the way he's grabbing my leg he's like wrapped around mind? Does that bother you? As it just had to be like the touch of the back. It's okay, So it's not exactly the back of the knee. That's fine, it's that like it's that ligament. Yeah on the other side, oh blow, oh okay, wow, okay, yes, that little tendon like you. I just don't like the way it feels when it's touched. It grosses me as that shivers down my spine. Interesting. Um, I will go with my least favorite touch being um my uh lower ass, like my ass in any way, um, not by a loved one, but like I mean, I guess no one wants there asked touched by a stranger. But for me, I get panicky when people touch my butt because I feel I have insecurity. It's about my butt, so it makes me go, oh my god, I'm sorry. I like, I'm sorry that this isn't what you wanted. And I feel like I've been sexually harassed before and honestly felt like I should apologize to the man who grabbed my butt because um, it was so not a good butt It's insane. But now I love it, I've got I'm okay with it now. But I would say and also let me just say, any um touch from a man to get by in a uh and I do quotes around this crowded room or bar when men touch your waist, it's just a way for them to touch you. Even though to be like, oh move sweetie, do you do that to men? Excuse me. Do you do that to men when you need to get by? Do you touch them on the waist or the lower back? No, you don't. You say excuse me, because men know how to fucking move. You don't need to touch us to move us. Other way, you can say excuse me, and we can get out of the way. We know how to do that too. I prefer for a guy to stick his fingers up me and then plant me where he wants me to be and direct me with his whole hand inside me would be best. So you on inside rather than outside. Yes, that's my that's my least favorite touch, as a man touching you pretending like he needs to get by when he really wouldn't do that to a man. So my two would be uh bottom, my two bottoms. No, it's just one bottom. I gave two because I'm the host. Okay, so my three, my three bottoms. Uh well, I was just gonna say one is just I hate when a girl she'll put her hand by your armpit, but not tickle it yet, but kind of tickle it where it's like a half tickle. A tickle is the light touch. A hard touch note doesn't feel like a tickle a tickle, No, but I'm saying like a hard tickle. Like a hard tickle could be a let with a light touch, but she's not going fully in. But they're in just enough where you almost anticipate the tickle. Yes, it's like, either tickle me and let's get this over with, or don't do like armpits are your like most I don't love armpits and I don't like being a little spoon. And they aren't their hands on my stomach, my hair, my hair, don't touch that. I'm changing mine my hair. Don't touch my hair. It's it's a struggle for me to go get my hair done. I always have to, like, I dread it because I just people don't handle it as as delicately as I would like it to be handled. So my hair, what's your favorite touch? Noah, favorite touch would have to be like in the inside of um my thigh, and it has to be a firm grab, not a light one. Your favorite touch and your worst touch are within centimeter of it. It's a fine tendon inside of your thigh. I wouldn't. I think most women would hate that because that's like, you know, that's our insecure region. Of like our thighs are fat or whatever, like you like the inside of your thigh, inside of my thigh with a firm grab. Okay, I like a loved one, not UM. My favorite touch is definitely like delicately on my face by a lover, like a gentle touch of like holding my face. I feel like it is so loving and something that you only let someone who like, only someone who would love you would even want to do it and hold your face And oh my god, I'm gonna like tear up just thinking about like the one time it happened to me that I didn't have to beg for it. Um, it made me cry on the spot someone like help my face and just like said, you know, said a nice thing to me, But it was the face holding. It's just such a tender, loving thing that, um has only happened to me like kind of organically once in my life. It's okay, It'll have it again. UM. I think my top one would be UM. I like when when a girl or Briana for that instance, when I'm laying in bed and she just scratches the back of my head. Yeah, like like it's kind of like when you get a really good shampoo massage, you know what I mean. But just like the back of the head, just you know, hard enough where it doesn't it's not you know where you get in there, but not too hard. We should do ones our favorite places to touch people or like that's interesting because yeah, I do like doing that to the back of guy's head is like playing with their hair. And I hope that the person that I do it to likes it. But I feel like sometimes you know, love language is much like some sometimes love languages. Our touch. It is a love language. But um, some people don't like touch at all, you know, like that it really it sucks because if you like being touched and someone doesn't like being touched, like it's not their love language. They don't understand how to give it. I mean it is interesting, like I like the back of my to be touched, you need to touch someone. So if your love isn't touched and you are with someone who likes to be touched, you have to touch them, which is in turn by their heads. That's a good point. Okay, Um, I like the back of my head and usually I don't like when girls play with the top of my head because but with her, I feel very like like, go ahead, get in there, get into the receding allies. I trust you, I love you, Get in there. I was touching a guy's hair recently, and he I know, has concerns about being receding, and I was just like, oh, I wonder if he's insecure about this, but I just don't care. It's just like I'll be and I'm this one who worries about losing hair. I'm very delicate. But also I was just like, the idea that I would love you like that I would like you, or the way I feel about you, I would feel less if you were bald is truly insane to me. And I know that I could be attracted to men with hair and not try to the bald guys. But if I know you would love you if you lose your hair, I will still love you the same. That would be insane for me to love you less so because then you can't cheat. You know no one else is going to love you, so I'll love you more essentially, so now I don't have to worry. The guy in the scenario also has a full head of hair. It's thick, it's long, okay, well, and again shoot the sixty three. Well, final thought, I mean, let's move into it. Do we want to even go back to that? No? No, no, yeah, what what do you want to talk about? Um? Final thought? Uh? What's your day like today? I have a lesson at Too Sweet. I gotta buy you a coconut water my bad on that got a video for Cosmopolatin where I'm comparing like cheap things with the expensive version. And Andrew drank my cheap version of coconut water. He just like, I opened this box with all this random ship. And then I was going through the recycling today, of course, and I see an empty coconut water and I go, is this motherfucker go in my Cosmo box? That they just shoot this? God, you were complaining about this box when we were leaving. Right before we left, She's like this because I didn't know what it was. I realized it was a Cosmo doing this video. So yeah, and I've never seen you drink coconut water. And I didn't get mad at you. I know, but you had but this was the best part. You had your air pods in, so you go, did you buy this? That's how loud it was. And I was like, I just woke up, So I know when Nikki is like very motivated. Some some mornings you wake up and you're like super motivated to clean the house and stuff. And I get scared in bed because I'm like, she's so motivated out there and I'm just rolling out and so I get up and she's like, did you buy this? And I'm like, oh my god, I just want to go. I didn't care at all. The airs are dangerous, these new ones with the noise cancelation. I can't hear anything anything when I am wearing them like it is. It truly is dangerous. People talk to me and think I'm rude. Or the girl at the Donetta downstairs, whenever I don't have the minute talked to her, I go, hey, Doneta. But if I have them and I'm listening to music, it's too much to take them out and be like, how are you like? I still, so she must think I'm so rude sometimes because I just go hot like it's it's so um. If you're out there and you have those airpots, you know what I'm talking about. Noise cancelation is is truly makes you antisocial, and if you can't people can't see them in your ears. They think you're just being rude. So you get hit by a car, yeah, oh yeah, for sure, you need to hear things around you, for sure. How many times did you walk across the street in New York and you die and you go and a and a puge truck or yeah, and you're like, I didn't look. I know, I didn't look. I could have been hit. Or it's like two ways or it's one way the other way. So many times with a d D like it's a scary city. It's it's it really is a cross in the street there. I Anya was always really good about only going at the time, like when it would be the crosswalk and say walk, which in New York no one follows that. But she just didn't trust and it's smart of her. Even though the time I did get hit by a car, I had the countdown, the walking countdown. I got hit by the car. I got up from rolling on the hood, rolling onto the pavement in Tenth Avenue, traffic stopping. I got up from the pavement after getting hit by a car, and it was still seven seconds to go for me to cross the street. It was still counting down, and I remember gesturing to it and going I still have a second, like knowing for sure that I didn't suck up. I was so your last words are seven. And then I just dropped, wearing a no that I saw it coming to I saw the car coming, I heard it. I turned. I saw it turning onto Tenth Avenue, going right, trying to make a yellow light or I guess red it was running a red light. And and I just and and and my last words. I remember as it was turning, I thought I was going to die because it was at such a crazy speed. It was definitely gonna hit me. And I just go no, no, no, no, no no. And I remember as I said it, I'm not joking you. It's so weird. If people have had near death experiences, you know that time slows down and you have all of these thoughts like it. Really, I don't know if life lashes before years, but you can have whole thoughts. And my whole thought was, first of all, I'm about to die and my last words are no, no no. I really thought that's the last thing I'm going to say on earth. And uh, and it wasn't, unfortunately, But I don't know what the last thing I'm gonna say, is and you took that lesson from that accident, and you My last words are probably going to be what the funk is my blingo password? Because I'll try be on a plane that's about to crash or something, and I'll be trying to log onto the WiFi so that I can say goodbye to my family, and instead I can't get on it because I don't remember what password I used to get access. My last words is I think I'm having a heart attack, and then hearing you go it's just stress, and then I'll be how I die? Oh, this last thing you hear it's all in your head, and then I'm dead. Yeah, And then I'll wake up again and go it wasn't and then and then and then I call your dad and tell him and he's like again, I'm it's I'm on my lunch break. I'll get to it in a second. Al Right, guys, thank you so much for listening today. We will be here all week long. It's been a while and it won't be a while until you hear us tomorrow on the Niki Layser Podcast. Don't be kid out there as always, and uh follow us on our Instagram post about listening to the show and we love you so much, and uh did you did you say I have all the swells before? Yes, I did. Okay,