The nick Yes, NICKI Yes, my best friends voices back to back on your Marina with our theme song Noah with Here's Nikki, which sounds the same every time you say it, Like I would get so nervous if I had to go, like sometimes when I have to do voiceover for certain things, if I did the first time I did, it is always the worst, Like I have to go, like I'm doing Dave Matthews Band Radio voice over later, let me look at it real quick. So if you don't know, listener, Hello, by the way, welcome to this week of shows on the Nicki Glazer Podcast. So glad to have you listening. I'm the voice of Dave Matthews Band Radio on Serious x SUM Channel thirty. If you are interested, um and so oh, this is one where so I have to give this to them later. I'm getting paid like one dollar for this. I don't even know. I do it a it's a it's a labor of love and hopefully someday I can say to Dave like, hey, I didn't you know. This is just because I love Dave so much, so I have to do my voice on Dave Matthews Man Radio is like it's it's supposed to be like a little like salt, like more radio. So it's like I have to say, like when Dave Matthew, when the Dave Matthews Band returns to the stage for the first time this summer, you'll hear it live and see the first time I did that not good. It's like it's fine. But if I had to say, here's Nikki, I would have to like practice it so much? Do you practice it? Do you warm up to do vocal exercises before you hear Nicky? Because sometimes I would be like here, like imun yeah, I mean, do you get nervous every time you do it? I? I do get a little bit of butterflies. And because that's okay, I don't want to sound like, uh, you know from from the Shy Name Jack, what does he say, Johnny, here's Janny. Oh my god, that's so well. Oh. I almost said, that's what That's what Ed McMahon said about Johnny Carson. And then I now realized that's what they were referencing in the movie. So it's not that I was like, Wow, what a coincidence. Um No, that's like the point of it. I've never seen that movie, but I do know all the references. I think, Um, well, you do it great every single time. It always sounds the same. Wait, let me try to do the best impression of you. He wait, there's too much husk. He I have to be up at He's Nikki. Wait that wasn't good. Um So this weekend, speaking of voice stuff, I was um. I was in uh Waterloo, New York, flew into Syracuse, drove um east another hour, and then landed at the Dell logo, which Andrew Becks to age joked that it was Del Taco and I go, you should say that, and he goes, I go, I'm so jealous that you thought of that, because that's a funny opener. And he goes, no, you can have it. And that's a that's a good opener. That is the best. A great opener is talking about how Del Lago sounds like Del Taco. And the best opener is a guy that opens for you, who will give you that stupid joke, not I mean dumb, but funny because I said, I love this Del Taco themed casino. Uh, I already have gotten diarrhea twice, so it's really fitting. Um, I go, the slots aren't the only things that are loose here. So I made a loose stool joke right out of the gate. I don't even know if it was out of the gate, right out of the gate. I let me just say, you guys know how nervous I was about the show at Del Lago last week. UM. I even told them on stage that's my new thing, just be honest. And I apologized probably thirty times during my set for um not being as sharp as I usually am, explaining to them, you know how you guys are when you got back to the office after COVID, that's gonna be kind of what I am like. I don't even remember how to clock in here or how to wear pants. I wasn't wearing pants either. That was another thing. I was wearing a blazer as a dress because I just for this tour. I realized I don't have to dress. I'm doing theater tours I need. I can wear whatever I want. I want to dress like a pop star. Um. And so I had an outfit change because prior to the show, thirty minutes before forty minutes let's say before, we had to be downstairs to go over our dance because we decided to do the dance again that we closed the last special with or last tour with the Banging Out Tour, which is my tour that got canceled about eleven shows in. We would always close with a dance uh for literally no reason, like there's no like, there wasn't any like and you know what, and that like my closer wasn't like so that's why everyone should dance hit it. It would literally be me being like, so that's why I ate ass okay now Anya, and we're gonna come back to dance with to Taylor Swift. There's no rhyme or reason. It's totally nonsequitur, but it's still fun and the audience is confused. Some of them are like getting up to leave because I've been talking for a hundred and twenty minutes, um or No. I actually was an hour and twenty minutes that I did on Saturday, which exceeds the hour that I thought I wasn't able to do, but twenty minutes. The last twenty minutes of that was me scrambling to come up with a good enough closer to get off with. Because if you're not a comedian out there, part of being a comic is closing strong because the audience psychology uh suggests not suggests like has proven that when people remember things, no, you probably remember this, uh just from reading so many books that you read that people remember the first thing, the last thing, but they don't really remember anything in between. And people definitely don't remember the things that are funniest remember the things that make the most uncomfortable. So when you leave a comedy show and this isn't just you, bestie, this is me too, or a TV show or any kind of show, you might remember the first thing, Oh, how they came out, you remember how they close. You will not. Oftentimes people come up to me and this isn't often, this is every time. This is my parents. This goes from my parents and my best friends to my biggest fans. They go, oh my god, I laughed so much. I can't remember any of the things I laughed at, like the my favorite parts. And my ex boyfriend who used to come to my shows and take notes for me to, you know, tell me when we were gearing up from my special he would come and um watch me to be like, Okay, we need to work on you need to work on this. Anyone who's ever done that for me, I go, you have to write it down because you will not remember what you liked, You will not remember the but you will remember the parts that need help. Because as a species, I think it's based the evolutionary psychology of it is that we when we were you know, living in the willderness, we needed to remember berries that made us barf and have diarrhea, like we were staying at the Dell logo del Taco um Casino. We needed to remember that stuff. So oh, I don't eat those berries again, so I survive. Whereas things that make you laugh and feel good, there's not a need to really remember them and store them in your brain because you'll be naturally drawn to those things anyway. So it's not so much a memory. It's just like your brain is just like, okay, we don't need to It's just not as important. So that's why when you go to a comedy show, you can't, for the life of you remember the parts where you were falling off your chair laughing, because your brain goes just relax. You don't need to store this away. We're not gonna take energy away from this, you know, we have so much energy to survive. We need to spend brain power on things that will keep us alive from harm. So that's why you remember, Oh my god, that sucked. I should explain this during my show because it is interesting and it might force people to try to remember the good times. Because I think when you are when something's brought to your tension that you makes you uncomfortable, or like, when something's uh like this has brought to your attension, you can almost hack it. You go, Okay, well, I don't want that to happen, so I am gonna I'm gonna write it down. You could even write the word in your phone just so you remember it to tell your friends the next day. But truly, if you go to my show, I won't have a problem with you writing things down because you won't remember it otherwise. Um. But I so at the end of the show, Noah, I'm like, I've already burned the closer I was going to close with, like my new favorite joke that just always works. I like accidentally got into it too soon as I'm saying, and I'm like, God, damn it, Nikki, you're ruining the thing that you saved for the ends so that they you know you got out a high note, and then they were they were so nice though this there's twenty four people I'm not used to. I got a little bit more famous over covid a lot more, I would say, and which means, you know, more people are coming to see me so the shows and plus people are just so excited about entertainment again that I am. I am living the best time of my career. Like, if it doesn't get better than this, I will be totally okay with it, because I was so just blessed on Saturday night to see a room, a sold out room, and granted, I'm sure some of the a lot of these people were just like I'll go see anything because this is the first show that this place had put on in a while. The casino was thrilled there, like this is the first live event we've had um in, you know, since covid um. Also, Anya noted that it was sixteen months to the date almost since we had performed together with this tour, and that's a long time to not do a theater because theaters are different beasts. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I was very very touched by how many besties were there. I said, right out of the gate. I brought up Andrew. I'll get to it a second, but I was out on stage before I did my set because I UM, I came out for a special guest appearance with Anya's set. Anya opens the show. She does three songs. The third song is the Man by Taylor Swift, and she was in my uh but wait, I just want to say finished. I thought I did say at one point, I go, your next performer is my co host on my daily podcast called The Niculator Podcast. Do we have besties in the house? And there were probably like a couple hundred out of two people or um, which was usually when you do that and you go, who's here to see me? From this, it's usually like the smattering is a chance for me to go, okay, well thanks, but no, you know, it's a it's a chance for you to make a joke and get a huge laugh of like, wow, twenty people. I couldn't even make that joke because it was so many. I'm so grateful how many besties were there, how many of you I got to meet in the meet and greet afterwards. Shout out to Tori, Shout out to Angela, Shout out to a couple other girls. That one girl who looked like me. I think that was Tori. There was another Tory too in a yellow dress. Hello Tory. Angela was lovely. So many besties I got to meet, um and just like girls that I have to say, most of the time, it was girls UM who just walked up and I instantly knew that they have a love for me that I have for them, or that I have for my best friends, you know, like it was mutual. Let me just tell you it was all mutual. And if you listen to this podcast regularly, I love you so much and I thank you for being my friend and listening to me and um and taking everything I say with a grain of salt and not uh and also just trusting me. I love it. So it's so cool to meet you guys. So long story short on you comes to my room forty minutes before we go down to work on our dance that we haven't done in sixteen months. Anya's in my room. I'm putting together an outfit to wear and she's practicing, and she's like, what song should I do? Because she can just do She's like me, she can just pull out of a hat and do whatever. She doesn't need to really warm up that much. And then it was like she starts playing the Man and I go, we should do it at some point, and I picked up my guitar and I was like, this is how I would do it, because I was doing kind of like I do the version that Taylor Swift does on um her Tiny Desk concert, and it's more like to like it's like that, and Anya's is more if you you got to download the cover of the Man on your Marina on Spotify, It's like I would be complex, I would be cool. It's like very smooth, whereas Taylor's version is like I would be complex, I would be cool. So Anya's is like a sultry sexy version and I was playing it and she was like, it'd be cool if maybe you sang with me. Because Matt, her boyfriend, who was my tour manager co tour manager, he had suggested I come out and sing with her, but we didn't know how that would work with me coming out before my set, and I go, no, that'd be so fun. So at there's there's this part that Anya in her version usually skips of the song the Man. It's like, um uh, it's the bridge, it's like Somethingdada flashing my dollars. I'd be a bitch, not up bother. And I was singing along with her as she was warming up on the song and I was doing my makeup, and then I I did the bridge forgetting that she skips it and she was like, actually that sounds good. What if you came out during that part? So it's so fun. So Aandya does the whole song. There's no like the audience doesn't even know I'm gonna come out. And she's like doing her third song and they're like so vibing on it. It's just such a mellow, like great song. And she sets it up like Nicki's obsessed with Taylor Swift. She got me in this song against my will. I loved it so much I covered it. Here it is and then she goes, uh, I forget what the start? She said something like what if I was something like that? And then I just walk on stage with the bike and I'm like fleshing the dollars and then the audience like like just lit up. It was so fun. And I had a big old electric guitar a les Paul Gibson around my neck because I I don't know. I'm did no. I can't believe Noah, what you're about to tell people. I don't know. I mean I put on my Instagram. But so I show up. So Nanya and I work out the whole thing we got. We all walk as a group. Me my assistant Jen, who is like amazing and I love her so much. Shoutout to Jen. You guys will get to know where Yes, yes, isn't she best? I have the best team. Matt On his boyfriend Matt Pond p A, who is also a musician who's one of my favorite songs of all time is called Still Summer by Matt Pond p A. He's honestly, he's has a huge following in his a fucking genius musician just as good as like On in him. Are there like a power couple of music. But Matt Pond is my tour manager because he's been touring forever as a musician and is killing it. So he um and and knows just exactly how to do these kinds of rooms. So he and Jen are my co tour managers. Anya Andrew, we're all on the way there. We get in the green room. I'm just kind of like eating things and walking around and kind of looking at my set, and all of a sudden, Andrew walks in with the casino owner got like, not owners, but the guys that are like the talent management, like the upper management. Three guys in suits, one of which is named Jason. Shout out to Jason. I love you so much, Jason. I have other things to say about Jason too. It will be so funny. So Jason walks in and he is carrying a guitar, which I already brought my guitar just to play backstage. I wasn't gonna play. He's carrying a guitar case, and Andrew is in front of him with a golf club with a bow on it, and I go, oh my god, like Andrew got a golf club from and he goes, You're not gonna believe, and I go, no, no, they give They set down this this guitar case, and they're like, we are just so excited to have you your first act back after COVID. So this if you go to Delago to perform any people, you might not get a guitar. I almost didn't want to talk about it because I don't want this place to always have to give people things like this, because I realized this is order to give me gifts like that, Like I don't I mean, if you want to give me a guitar. Every time casinos have a lot of money, let me just say this is a thing that they probably have money set aside for talent to uh to spend on talent. But this was usually they would just give you fucking something you don't even want. They Jason researched us each, Anya, me, and Andrew to see what we're obsessed with. Anya. He noticed that she hikes a lot. They definitely had different price points for us. She got her really nice backpack with uh, you know, portable dog bowls and like a canteen and like, you know, a couple of hundred dollar gift for my opener. And then Andrew, they got him like, uh four club putter that he like loves, you know, andrews obsessed with golf, and they brought in a guitar. I don't even know what to fucking expect. I don't. I am uncomfortable with gifts like this, especially when I am about to do an act that I'm nervous about. I don't even know if I can give them what they deserve, uh, in terms of like this whole show, and they gave me. I opened it up. It's a brand new Gibson Les Paul, which is you know, he's like the creator of the modern electric guitar as we know it UM beautiful. Like I can't even like, I haven't even googled the price of it. I don't want to know. It's just too much. I love this guitar so much. It is a piece of art. I haven't been able to play it um because I don't have an AMP, but I've played it like in my room later that night, just without the which is actually electric guitars are great to practice on when you're in hotels or small apartments with neighbors without the amp because you can hear it enough, but it's not gonna I was like, oh, this is actually a perfect guitar to practice on. So they gave me this guitar and I was like, I'm gonna wear it on stage when I walk out. I'm not even gonna play it. I'm just playing. I'm gonna hold the mic and just wear it as a necklace because it's the best piece of jewelry I've ever had no What do you know about Les Paul? What do you know about the guitar that I got? What? How are you? What do you feel? I felt undeserving because Matt and Anya are the best guitar like great guitarists, and I'm opening this guitar as like someone who can play like you know, uh, I just feel like I was gonna make a joke of like I can barely play Happy Birthday, but I don't even know that I could play Happy Birthday on the guitar, like it's my f chords are still buzzy. I don't know bar chords. I don't know any music theory. I am such a novel. It's a great encouragement for you to get to the point where you can, like shred on that thing on stage. I'm I don't know that I ever want to shred? Can I just say that? Like I as a comedian, I have reached a point where I don't really want to Well, actually there, I'm unstoppable as a comedian. I could do anything, but there's certain types of comedy that I don't Oh, here's here's an example. I don't care if I ever am in movies and TV shows. If that doesn't happen for me, It's not like a goal, like it'd be nice, it'd be fun to be asked to do a movie. I don't want to write a movie. It's just too much work that might not see the light of day, and I have other stuff going on that it can instantly see the live day. I'd rather do podcasts every day than spend writing a movie that might not get made. Um, but if it happened, I'd be great. Same with shredding, like I just want to I like singer songwriter, acoustic voice like that is what I want, and it's just too too many digging like I can't. I'm not seeing for you to get there. I'm just seeing for you to have a goal that you pursue so you constantly work hard at it. You're right, You're right. I always need a goal. You're right, I am. I just want to say thank you so much to the dell Ago casino for using the money that you, um, don't scam people out of. But let's be honest, casinos always win and uh they are cash cows, and UM, I'm glad people enjoy gambling, but you guys are it's kind of criminal, how much money you get from people, and how you can facilitate addictions. However, I am grateful to be working at you and people enjoy being at you. Delago Casino is awesome, like such a if you live in that area. I stayed at an amazing hotel in the casino. I really recommend doing like a staycation there. Um. They have great entertainment. The theater was gorgeous. I want to shoot a special there someday. I was blown away and the staff, everyone from the every crew member was laughing and joining the show. Told me like secrets about you know one one stage manager guy, I'm not going to blow up your spot too, but you were cool as fuck. And you told me afterwards like what celebrities are not cool and which ones are that you've were with. There's a couple of people that won't let you make eye contact with them, and they are who you think and one who you don't think. Um, The Rolling Stones required evy on that the hot tubs at an arena be filled with Evan at the Buffalo Bill stav Stadium, ev On and and there had to be like, you know, assistance pouring Evan bottles into a hot tub I don't know when that happened, but that's a true story that I enjoyed. Um, everyone was so nice. Jason helps me not. He was the one that researched me and gave me the guitar. I gotta go, I gotta bring Andrew on. He uh. I'll finished the story when we get Andrew in. Andrew. Hey, Andrew, Hey, Hey, who's going. I'm good? How are you holding down the fort? Good? You're back in St. Louis at our place. Sorry, I forgot the cleaning lady was coming this morning. I meant to cancel her yesterday and then I slept all day yesterday, literally all day, and forgot about everything. Yeah, I was wildly until about four frey minutes ago. You did too. Yeah, and I was like yeah, I was like having like I don't know. I was so out of it yesterday and then I texted you and you didn't text me back, and then you wrote sometime my Instagram and I'm like, she's mad at me. I had like all these like dude, I'm sorry. I wasn't mad at you. It was also you did right. You were so sweet. You wrote how you doing and I never wrote back to it. I because I when I woke up, I saw it, and then I go, oh, I'm gonna get back to that. You know, when you think you're gonna get back to it, and then you get all these texts about urgent things you have to do for work, and then you don't get back to your friend Andrew, who's checking in on you. Um, how were you doing yesterday? I was just a complete zombie. I mean, we had one hour's sleep. It was literally one of the best times in my life though Saturday night. Saturday night, I was just going through the show. We we but we had a flight at six am, and which was an hour away, so we had a four am leave time call. And then I didn't get to sleep until three fift so I had four five minute nap and then at two flights, I slept on both of them, landed, got to the hotel, slept from eleven until three, got a COVID test at three because I'm doing, um taking a show this week. I went back to bed at three fifteen, slept until seven, and then went to bed at eleven. Woke up at eight like I'm just us and I have had no melotonin, Like I didn't need any assistance. I am like sleeping, like, I'm so grateful I'm being able to sleep. Let's just say the night before Friday, night before our show, we didn't get any sleep either because our our car was supposed to come at five for a seven am flight. Our flight was canceled moved to a nine am flight, so we woke up at five and didn't and got picked up at seven. Did so we did that night, I only slept four hours, like I went to bed at one, so four and then so a four hours sleep, and that morning I had to get up for radio at seven am, and I went to so I I realized in three days I was and I realized our listeners have children and jobs and sleep uh disorders that you guys are rolling your eyes right now. But a five hour night proceeded by a four hour night proceeded by a one hour night equals I'm sleeping all Sunday long. And thank god I don't have kids and and and you know, responsibilities that I'm grateful I'm able to even do that. But yeah, you were Zombo. Yeah you know, I look at you know our No, I just laughed at Zombo. Wait, wait did we come up with Zombo? I've been using Zombo forever. I forget whom. Yeah, it's just like, oh zombiin like if you're a Zombo, like you're it's so much funnier than zombie. So let's add Yeah, you know, we look at we'll have shows on Friday night and then we're gonna have a show the next Saturday where we're going to have to do exactly this and then perform and you have to do an hour and twenty I just like I have. We're not gonna fly harnessing the energy for the show that. So I just want to be clear anyone coming to see the shows, I could do those. They might be wacky the things I say, it might be more extreme, but I'll still have the energy to do it when I get on stage and you just find it. It was also interesting because because we did the show on Saturday night and then flew back Sunday, slept all day, and then I swear to god, I woke up at like seven pm yesterday ago did that show? Did that even really because I woke up on my own bed, like my bed where I live every day, So it was literally we were we were there for like ten hours and I was moment my life. It was unbelievable, but I don't know, it was insane. The people there were all so nice and so excited to have us. They gave us presents. I already recovered that I want to talk about Jason for a second, because I was just about to say about Jason. Jason was the guy that like researched us to find these amazing gifts, because I bet if Jason didn't exist, I bet the casino would have given us something probably we wouldn't have wanted, Like they would have given me some kind of like Tiffany necklace that I would have been like, this is so nice, and then they gave it to my mom to sell an eBay. Like the fact that they researched us was so freaking nice and thoughtful, and it was all Jason and Jason. If you're listening, which I think you are. Jason also called his wife. I was trying to figure out a line for this joke that I'm working on where I talked about on first dates. I me at an age now where on first stage you just want to cut to the chase, because there's certain deal breakers that we're not we shouldn't have a second date. We shouldn't even keep this first date going if that's the case. And you know, so I'll ask like do you want kids? Like how much debt do you have? Um? And then I wanted a third one that was like a jokey thing like um the placeholder, which I saw on a meme on Reddit, which I would not use because it's been it's a Reddit thing, but I was. I was telling Andrew and any and Matt and all the people backstage. This is literally ten minutes before the show started. I go, I want something that is the same as, um, do you clap when a plane lands? Like do you know? Deal? Like an annoying thing that you'd go, oh, I can't be with a person that does that. I wanted the same thing. I couldn't come up with one. Jason's a cute guy in a suit, and I go, uh, you know, I just want to chat I always want to chat up the handsome guy in a suit. And so I was just kind of like, what about you, are you married or have a girlfriend. That's a good way to find out, you know, And he goes, yeah, and uh, he has like a fucking stunning wife and kids. He's of course, and he's got a great job. He does a great job at his job. And I go, what is what's the one thing your wife would say about you that's like specific and annoying that maybe I could plug in here because I was asking everyone, and he called his fucking wife to ask her, and she was roasting him. She was so funny. She said, he what was the last one? She said? That was so good? There was something specific about him that really it was really good anyway, Yeah, yeah, he's always Yeah, it was so funny, Mrs Jason, Oh my god. Yeah, that like he just he always has to look so nice anyway, Jason, and was so cool. And then I just want to say later on, um, I had some creeps. I had one creep come up to me at the after party, which hopefully we'll talk about either on the show or later. There was an after party at the casino and there was just a guy that came up that was making me uncomfortable. And Jen, my assistant, later on, we were talking about we need a code word for when there's someone that's making me uncomfortable that we can just like get out of it. And I said I don't really need one because I'm so honest because when this guy sat down and as soon as it got uncomfortable, I go, I want to leave, and everyone was like, oh what, and I'm like, I'm leaving. And then he got he understood he wasn't creepy enough that he did. He wasn't gonna get up when I announced I was uncomfortable. So he goes, Okay, I get it. I'm I'm leaving, and I was like okay, but I still was like I still want to go. You're in the building and I don't like your presence. He was too drunk. He was like nervous to talk to me, trying to like hit on me. It was weird, um, but we were talking and I was like it should be. Uh. I was just trying to like roast Jason, who was around. So we're talking about like what's to the code word being, I go, what about Jason? Because it's Jason gives me that, like I go, that would be a good one to have, because Jason like embodies everything that is someone that you don't want a round Friday thirteen, like Jason, like you No. I was just like basically off this guy that was like so no, And I was trying to roast him because I thought he heard our conversation about like what we're talking about, and he watching and he goes, he didn't know, and I go, we just came up with a new word, and it's Jason, it's based on you because you like embody what it's about so much, which is obviously I was just like trying to be like flirty and fun and he was just like okay, and so, um, we'll probably have to change it now that I just announced it. But if you're ever talking to me and my assistant and I go to my assistant, did Jason Cole yet? That means get the funk away from me? Okay? Um, but thank you so much to Delgo. No venue will maybe ever be as will ever be. It's the best gift I've ever gotten. And what were the other guys? The other guys, the big guy forget, Yeah, he was very nice. He yeah at a moment, and he gave us what chips? That guy let me off pull up his name because I can find it. That guy gave us chips. Uh, get a funny moment with that guy because he goes to me, he goes, hey, Andrew, you you like to play. You you like to bet, you like to play, and I go, You know, man, I played in college and I won like two grand the first time I ever played. And then I got completely addicted because I made this money. And then I was calling my step mom for money. I was calling my friends for money and and it was really like a negative impact on my life. But like, I really enjoyed it, but I didn't, you know, I stopped playing and he's like, okay, and then he shows me to chip and I go, but hey, I'll play tonight. Though. Yeah, I felt the same way. That guy gave me five dollar chip and then another hundred dollar chip and was like, just go have fun. This fucking guy, I love you so much. I forget his name and I just tried to look it up on on Jason's Instagram but it wasn't taxed. So um, shout out to you again, sir, thank you so much. And then there was another guy too, there was three of them. Um, But what I wanted to say about that, I had to say. So I I lost my chips and I and I felt so embarrassed because Jays they had given us to it to us and then I'm they're walking us back to our room at the end of the night, and I go, I don't have my chips. I think I left them in the green room, and which is just so responsible, at least six d dollars of chips. And then I was thinking about it, and I go, because I am very uncomfortable with gambling. I don't like it. I don't like losing money. Part of me was going to put the six dollars on red or Black Roulette and uh, donate whatever I want, like the thousand dollars if I doubled it, right, And I was like, okay, I wanted to ask a charity that I would give that too. Would you rather just get me give you the five dollars, let's not talk about one's or would you rather me bet and maybe double it? So that's what I'm gonna do next time I gamble. I didn't have time this time, and so I did find the chips, but I realized that I don't look at chips as money, and that's why people spend ships more because you don't think of them as currency. So that's why I just left it. If that was five actual money or a check, even checks, I leave everywhere like I'm I felt so bad, like I was just being flipping about this amazing gift. They gave me enough money that that's what I used to get paid for a whole weekend not so long ago, you know, like eight years ago. That's was what I got for a seven shows in fucking Kyahoga Falls, Ohio at a shitty club. I was telling. I was telling because she was worried about money, same thing, and I go, this is what you do if you ever get if you ever make a decent amount of money, or if you have a lot of money and chips, go to the cashier, get cash out, and then give cash to the dealer, because then you feel the cash just be like you're gone, like oh money, It's like monopoly money. It's like not pond. He also was saying that he was he was afraid too, because he goes, I once lost two thousand dollars and it felt so bad, and he goes, I've also won a ton, right, which keeps you going. I thank god I'm someone who because I understand gambling addiction is so fucking real. I saw someone doing scratchers at the Chicago airport yesterday. This guy at like eight nine in the morning doing scratchers like bent over like a businessman. I go, oh, that's that's me. That's me on my balcony smoking weed out of a pipe, like crouched down like an adult woman, acting ridiculous because of an addiction. So which I want to get to it in just a second. So anyway, I um, but Matt even said it made me so sad to lose ten two thous and the money I've lost gambling because a ball lands on the wrong color. It's just not worth it. Like it's it's too sad. I would rather not risk it. Um. That being said, let me just really quickly before we get to the news, I have to ask you something and besties, listen up and please give me feedback on this. I want to live my life, honestly, I don't want to be an evil person. I'm staying at a hotel that vlast hotel I stayed out when I was here. What I was put up by Bill Maher and all the other productions I was here up for. It's like nine dollars a night. It's the nicest hotel ever. It was so fucking sweet, and I couldn't justify that cost this time. I'm here for five days. I didn't want to spend that much money on a hotel, so I went on kayak. I found one that was well reviewed, same neighbor, same vicinity, and I get here. I upgrade to a King's Sweet so I can have a balcony so I can smoke weed on the balcony. Right I get here, the hotel is a lot of riff raff in the lobby as soon as I pull up, them like this ain't the place. It just it's like I flew first class. Now I'm back in on spirit air. Right. The hotel room is nice and clean, quiet. I love the hotel room. It's great. I have like my own suite. I have like a depressed um living room with a depressed woman sitting in it right now. But you know, like it steps down to my living room above is. Let me just show you a scope. I have a little kitchen, like that's my living room up there is my bedroom, kitchen area, balcony. So I get in. I'm checking in and I go it has a balcony, right, And he goes, yeah, he goes, here's the places to sign and I go great, and he goes just to let you know if we catch you if there's this is for the smoking charts, five fee if we catch you smoking in the hotel room or the on the balcony. And I was like, but but well, but you wait. I go, I got it a balcony because I smoke weed and that's where I'm going to be smoking. He was, we have neighbors and you can't smoke on the balcony. And I go, that's why I got this place. And he was like, I'm sorry, and I already prepaid, so it was like, already a couple of grand I paid for this place ahead of time, and I just go charge me the five now because I'm going to be smoking weed on the balcony. Just do it. And he goes, I really appreciate your honesty right now, because so many times I've looked people in the eyes and they've said I'm not gonna smoke, and then I have to knock on their door and they answer it all high and I have to go in and say listen. And he goes, thank you. And I thought he was just gonna wave the fee for my honest No, he's still charged me yet, which is fine. Well, it does say per occurrence on the sign here. If smoking occurs starting to say five, fee will be built to your account per occurrence. So first of all, let me just say this. Yesterday, at a four am wake up call, went to the airport, didn't smoke weed all day. I got landed, was not in the mood to smoke weed. I also didn't take me a d D meds um. I was depressed all day. Weed does not. It was not something I wanted to do. I slept all day. I didn't smoke any weed yesterday, first day. And I would say many many, many months that I did not smoke weed. So I was like, okay, that's interesting. Then smoke weed today. Have not smoked weed yet almost And then last night I went to dinner with David Spade. I got back to my place, I told him the whole incident of the five and he goes, are you smoking weed now on your balcony? And I go, actually, I think I might try to like quit because of this, Like this might get me to quit, because I'm just not I almost want to be like you. You Actually I'm not going to I'm not, you know, like just rub it in. So I didn't smoke with yesterday. I haven't spoke weed yet today, which is kind of unprecedented from actually it's ten am, that's not unprecedented. But I don't really have plans on it yet today. Who knows. I'm if I do, I'm not a failure. Um. But here's here's here's the thing that I want to ask besties and you guys. I'm in the elevator on the way down today and I see the elevator. I'm just you know, doing some light reading of the elevator certificate, you know, and every elevator it says like inspected that DA. So this elevator has not is past inspection date. It is Uh. These elevators are operating illegally from the state of California. The date of inspection was eighteen. The date the permit expires nineteen. This is almost a year. This is a year and a half expired. When they do when you're not high, here's what I see a chance to get my entire stay paid for because I can blackmail them and say I will report this is state of California. Unless you wave not my whole stay, you wave my fie or I'm all and every occurrence of my weed smoking or I get them to reimburse me for the entire stay, and I change hotels to somewhere I feel better. Do you think it is indecent of me to use this information I have for both operating elevators that are operating illegally their expired permit. Do you think that is a thing I should use against them to get my to get not charged for smoking weed on my balcony per currents? Or is that? Um? Is that like not a nice blackmail? I think has a connotation of negativity the whole time. So like I think as someone who is a god fearing person wants to go to it, wants to only always do the right thing. It's probably not a good idea, But is there a way to do it where it's not really a bribe? But they at my gist like, hey, I noticed in the elevator that your date of inspection is two years almost two years old? Um? And I also noticed that I'm getting charged five per currents of weed. I wonder if those two things can both be forgotten about and not reported, Like, do you can I use it? Here's a couple of things I think one they saved you about thirty dollars I'm going to rehab because you only paid five to quit. But then that's true, and if I don't smoke with the whole time, I'm gonna ask for that five back, by the way. But a number two, if you smoke on our balcony now in St. Louis, you're gonna have to baby five. That's just yeah, it's that's true. It's true. But you also you have an expired permit of brushing your teeth and it says has not date date brushing teeth permit expires twenty four hours if you don't brush your teeth every twenty four hours. Okay, but this is the thing. I think the problem with this is just because it doesn't say it on the elevator, they might go, well, we've had an inspection, we just haven't put it up there. First wait for them to have that response, then bring up the bribe. But the fact that they don't have that posted is also a violation, I would assume from the state of California. Yes what noah, no, uh yeah, I don't think. I think your energy is uh better spent in some other way because one these two things have nothing to do with each other. And what Andrew says is correct. It could just be that they just didn't update the actual elevator signs, but they do have the documents to prove it. You just imagine going through that whole thing and then they're like, ma'am, right, here is our elevator inspection, and they it's just just right. It's a movie going out. And if you happen to like writing a joke, that might make me five, like what what am I doing? Yeah? But you know what their moves if any besties though, know that this is a huge violation and that there would be consequences that that maybe they would want to avoid by giving me freedom to smoke weed on my boke, you're just gonna inconvenience the guy workings who really doesn't have that much invested in the Like what happens? Why doesn't he wave my fucking fee? If he doesn't have much invested you know what I mean? Like I think he thought to charge, Like I thought what he said was very nice to you, And if I was working at the front TUSK, I would just be like, thank you for your honesty. I'm not going to charge you right now. Let's just see what happens. We'll just take it from there. Yes, no, he was cool. I you're right. I don't want to get him in trouble. I don't want to get this place in trouble. It is a nice place. Everyone's just trying to make a book. And yeah this I'm glad I talked about it because my my evil sone, the devil on my shoulder, wanted me to use this against them, and instead I just might let them know that it's expired and not do anything about it, but just give them a heads up. And that's the kind thing to do, and then maybe my kindness will be rewarded with a little of leniency if they choose to without me having it holding it over their head. This hot box, the elevator, get high in there. Then I go, look, I think it is freaking inspect you're inspecting me. I'm inspecting you. You didn't inspect this? What did love that plan? I'm gonna fucking hot box that tiny little elevator. Uh I realized this place is a dump because I'm not a dump. But uh da, David dropped me off last night and I go, it's just dump over here. And he was really he laughed hard at that, because I'm just so. Sometimes I get really depressed if I have undercut myself and stayed somewhere cheaper or done something to save money, and then it makes me feel like bad, like you don't deserve nice things. But then if I do nice things and it's not nice enough, I also get upset like I'm just having money um stress this week for no reason, for fucking no reason, and uh that's how it's um. But I got that six dollar chips that Andrew cashed out for me when we were living. Um, thank you for that, Andrew. Let's get to the news. Apparently. First, you know you had how cool were We saw so many busties that had all the swells. It was so great. Everything that's great. We all had a great time out there this weekend. And I hope you had all the swells and you're gonna have all the swells this week. I have a good feeling about it. I really do. Yeah. Alright. First story here a nineteen year old who did a backflip into a zoo rhino enclosure for his TikTok and could be charged with criminal trespass in Singapore. So his kid decided to jump over a railing out a zoo and do a backflip for TikTok. We're watching it. That is yeah, wow, it's kind of cool. In the rhino charge him per Currens. Yeah he was smoking weed. Um the charge him though, did the rhino attack him? And anyway? No, No, it's a very quick back flip. Um. Here's the thing TikTok. People die tell us doing TikTok's. Yeah, they go on ledges, they go look at me on ledge ledge ledge head? Yeah, you talked about your girlfriend is a ledge head because she's not scared of getting out on a ledge on a hike. Uh. I love the word ledge head. The ledge head is a is a word for people who aren't scared to take risks to either see beautiful things or very cool things or take a picture with them. I don't think your girlfriend was trying to get a TikTok. She just like, isn't scared of heights. Yeah, the last thing she would want is for to be recorded. But she is definitely a ledge head and she's admitted ledge head. But these ledge heads they fall off because they're being like, oh am I getting the ten second time or right boom? Yes, So this kid jumped in an enclosure. People are jumping in enclosures, and then let's say to rhino, did charge him? Next thing? You don't need to shoot the rhino because the kid did a back flip for day. Yeah, well this is just a dumb kid for sure. TikTok is inspiring people to do more because there's more eyes on it. Like, you know, everyone does things like this and tries to get cool pictures and stuff, sort of like you know, a wedding, wedding photos on cliffs, and then the bride falls to her death right before she's getting you know, it's like that she just got married. Now they're doing pictures and the bride gets caught up in the surf, and then the guy in the room is just like, wow, I that prayer was answered very quickly. That's that's weird. I've heard so many stories of people at their wedding when the bride is walking towards them, they like start getting sweats because they know that they don't want to be doing this. And I just picture that guy in that story I just made up being like, God, please do something to make it so I don't have to be with this one in the rest of my life and then they go over to take wedding photos and a wave comes up and sweeps her to the sea and he just goes, Okay, Well, I didn't say I wanted to go to reception and have fund I wanted to take the cake at but we took Denise into the Yeah, into the Mariana trench. Um, so okay, yes, I here's what I noticed I did. Billy Busy Phillips is a podcast last week. It was a great conversation, very very I talked about things I didn't know that I was going to discuss. But um, one of them I think was the fact that people that aren't scared of heights and rhino enclosures and things like that are I don't. I don't think they're still they're kind of stupid because the risk is so high. But some people don't understand how I can stand on stage with my parents and the audience and talk about having anal sex. They just cannot imagine a world where that would ever be a thing that they could do. And I feel the same way about you know that guy who does solo free solo, you know the climber. You look at him and you go, how could you go without any assistance on these let rocks. And it's the same it's the same thing to to a lot of people. Talking about anal sex in front of your parents in a room of people would be a death worse than falling, um, you know, Cliffhanger style. So I just I'm glad that my death defying thing is you know, causing a you know, a really wedge of awkwardness between me and my parents, rather than me getting my arm stuck in a under a rock. I think I'm confusing two movies here, but you see my point. Yes, seven hours, Yes, it is interesting that like that guy will fucking climb without cameras by himself, just for him, like I've never been able to do. Like if I'm if I'm surfing right, Surfing should be like a solo thing on someone did you did you see me? On the we are? And my stepbrother is like cool, Jake the snake is like, yeah, it's all you did, good job. He doesn't need yet. Surfers go out in the morning where there's no one to witness them, and they go out because they they're one with the sea and it's meditative and all these things. And we every time we do anything. We need it to be documented. That's not true for me actually anymore. I really do enjoy having moments with like the Earth and God and and like myself. Like the thing is when you believe in God like I do, which I've found last summer, you're never alone and you always have an audience. And that's the weird thing is like I when I'm alone and have those moments of like God, I wish there was someone to take a picture of me with this on this hike I'm pretending I hike or anything I do alone. Um, I just think about like the dead people in my life and I kind of like talk to them like they're sitting there with me. It's really weird. But maybe maybe that will help you. Um, but they can't film you, that's the problem. And if they do, it's just like so it would be my dead grandpa. You want to know how to work at TikTok? You know? Yeah, that's yeah, your your grandpa is definitely gonna have smudges on the screen. He's not going to wipe it off correctly, and he's gonna do He's gonna double tap on the parents always double tap, double click on everything whenever I'm over my mom's shoulder on a computer. She's double clicking every I go one click. We've moved on from the double click pretty much. There's no double clicking anymore. But remember used to double click. The double click was great. Yeah, why don't we do that now? You just do it to like kind of I guess highlight text. My dad had a mouse for his computer. Yeah, people, old people love mouses. And he was using my inflatable mattress at my brother's house as his mouse pad. That's that is a huge mouse pad. It he was using an inflatable No, that doesn't make any sense, like the edge of it. Yeah, just the edge, not the whole mouse. I mean he's on the floor with his laptop. He was sitting on the couch with the bed was on the floor in the living room, and he was using my bed without he took the sheet, well the sheet was off. Because you're so confused by this, but it's it's not really worth explaining. Okay, next story, so let me explain them. Yeah, and the mouse is on the floor. He's sitting at his computer, which is I'm thinking elevated, so he's bending down to use the mouse on the on the bed on the floor, on the floor. Okay, if I'm sitting at a table right now, Andrew, I think all of our listeners are with me on this out confusing. This is I'm sitting at a table right now with my laptop. If I'm using if I had a mouse right here. Let's pretend this is a mouse, I would want it next to the computer right here on the table. Now if I'm using the bed, I have to go around here to use the mouse. This this air mattress is it's a high air mattress and it's auto sofa seat. Got it, got it on board. Next story, legend you're ledge head if you lay on that bed. It's so high. Okay, here we go. Fire first, Andrew, hold on, we have to tell we to tell the story of there's a new Old Renegade story that happened this weekend. We're saving it for final story. But I was thinking about all of the words we've come up with for our bestees. One of them was, we witnessed the child's birthday party. We asked what his name was. The parents said, old Renegade. We our friend Michael heard old Renegade. We go, that's kids name. That seven year old name is not Old Renegade. We were laughing so hard. It turns out his name was Aurelian, which is very close to Old Renegade, because we were like, what could that be? It's an old episode very early on the show. Um, there was another mistaken communication this weekend that is so bad final thought, we'll use it for final thought. Next story. I just had to tell you I forgot about that story. That's how much of a fever dream. I forgot about that until you just brought Okay, Fire festival ticket holders see their class action payout of seventy seven thousand, two twenty dollars each slash to two dollars. They each get to eighty Here's the thing, it's better than nothing, but I'm sure they spent more what was at one point four million dollar lawsuit that they won, and the attorney's got a million dollars of it, attorneys and accountants. So these people are divving up like seventy tho dollars for like two people or whatever, just because yeah, he spent nine between nine hundreds and ten thousand dollars on the lawsuit. Individual I know no on the fire for um, and they get two hundred eighty dollars. Uh. Yeah, this, Uh, this doesn't surprise me. I was actually thinking about this yesterday, about how um, you know, I think I was worried about money yesterday because I thought about I don't even remember how much when I got the offer for the casino that I did, I don't remember how much they offered me. I can think it's I don't like to look at numbers. I'm scared of numbers, and I know that's weird. But I was thinking about, you know, it's such a nice gift to get that Gibson guitar because it was probably I'm guessing between a four thousand and seven thousand dollar could tar. And that is money that my agents and my uh my agent, my manager and my lawyer can't touch. They're going to take the top two strings. I know, I know I have to give, I have to cut off a piece of the top of it. But um, I was thinking, and I was thinking about it, and I go, God, it's such bullshit that they take, you know, thirty of my money every time I book something. And but these are thoughts I'm having because other comedians have put them there, Like everyone hates agents and managers for taking more than they possibly deserve all these things. And what I realized was that Nikki just never have that thought again. Honestly, until you know that you could do the work they do, don't have the thought because to me, it's I could do this all day. I can't believe I pay Angie d and fifteen bucks to clean my apartment. I could fucking do that. She's she's making a hundred fifty bucks for stuff I could do. Um No, I can't do it. That's why she's hired to do it. My agent and managers might get a ton of money that they get for making a couple of calls, sending ten emails, and that's maybe more work than I'm putting into it, and they're whatever. Still, it's they're doing something I have no ability to do. And so I am acknowledging that. And even if it's like but Nikki, he he just set there, he literally didn't have to do anything. It doesn't that's that I agreed to that amount. That's the way it works. And I'm not gonna bitch about paying for something that I agreed to pay for ever again. Because if you get if you get charged on the back end, there's time to complain. But when you agree to something and then you bitch about it later, I don't understand. I don't understand that anymore. So I really like I had this moment yesterday where I go, maybe I got let's say, let's just give a number which isn't a number, A million dollars for that appearance, which isn't even close. That's why I picked that number. My agents are going to get. There goes three hundred thousand dollars of it, and then after taxes there goes probably two to three hundred. So out of that million, I'm gonna make four hundred thousand. I'm gonna walk away with four and a uh great, great that that other money was never mind to happen. I don't get to look at that number million dollars and think that's mine. I know. I never look at the number they offer me and go, yes, I can't wait to get a tesla with that or whatever. I think, No, cut it in half at least, and then cut that in half because you're gonna save half of it because you're worried about your career going away. I just the money that you spend or that is taken from taxes. I don't understand people getting mad about taxes. I never look at my salary or what I'm making as my money. I just go, don't. That's not the real number. Even I get mad at Walgreen's when they don't or you know, like prices at stores like just add the tax I know it changes, so they can't. But like, nothing's ever ten dollars. It's gonna be twelve eighty, and so I don't know what my point is. My point is, don't bring up the elevator to that guy. You agreed to pay for the five it's on you. I did. I did. That's that's we're working back around. I don't know. I just I'm tired of people complaining about agents and managers and being like, do you do anything? Well, then why do you have them? I guess, yeah, well that's the that's the rub I guess. But they didn't do anything. I thought they do stuff. Well, then don't have them. I don't. I don't know what to tell you. I'm grateful for mine because they make calls and they make emails that I don't want to make. And honestly, maybe I could make those emails and those calls, but I don't want to and I get to masturbate today instead of doing that, you know, like I get to my life. Yeah. So um, that's how I feel about that next story. Sorry, Andrew, No, I just think that, like, uh, the difference is if if you make enough money to thirty percent just doesn't seem like sae. But why do people vote for Trump that are rich because they're like, I want I don't want to give away money. I want to give away And it's like I get that, but that we need money for roads in schools. So being spent on roads in schools, it's being spent on you know, Christmas lights in a town square and I'm Jewish and I don't want Christmas lights. Well, you don't get to say where it goes to. Just pay your goddamn taxes and shut up. I don't if you're if you're wealthy, shut the funk up about taxes. I hate you so much. If you're a wealthy person, you're like, but I want more. Shot up talking about wealthy. I worked for my money. You didn't work for your money. You got born with a brain that was good at math or whatever the funk. You're good at that made you make so much money? I know, but I was I wasn't talking about the very rich people back to the wealth. Well yeah, no, but I'm talking about that makes sixty grand and then they give so the difference. Yes, they literally can't survive because of the like, but you know what I mean whatever, They need to talk to their major agents managers and tell them listen, this isn't a living wage I'm making with you. Can we work out some deal until I do make enough money where I will be able to pay you back. Um. This money my abuse of therapist Donna. She used to always say, you don't have to pay me three seventy five dollars every time you see me twice a week, which I make you go twice a week. Um, because I know that when you can't afford it, you'll pay it. You'll pay me back for the times. And I go, no, I don't really want to do that. She goes, you will though, and I go, I don't think I'll want to do that, and um, but she was always like, I'll do a sliding scale because the money that I she she takes on poor people that can't afford it and gives them free sessions because her clients that can afford it support them, and so about that rich people need to pay that much where they feel like they're getting quality, uh service, you know what I mean. So it's like if you went to a rich person, you're like, oh, you make two million dollars, but you only have to pay twenty each session. They'll be like, are you even good? You know what I mean? Right right right? Yeah? Charging more makes you feel like you're um finge by the way, I I had a string of abuse of therapists, uh until I Noah gave me her therapist and she was very nice and I was able to break up. Every time I've broken up with therapists, they've either hassled me and like kept calling me and not let me quit and told me they're the only ones that loved me, the only ones that will understand me. I'm going to die without them, or they've cried and made me feel really bad about it and fought it. And then I started seeing better therapists. No As I saw we we didn't have the right chemistry, and so I let her go and she was very understanding. Then I saw this other one that I really loved for a while, and it just got to the point where I was like, I want to try E M d R. I want to try a more direct approach instead of talk therapy. And I told her that and I go, I'm switching to I was seeing Whitney comings therapist for a while, and I go. And when I first saw this woman, I told her about my abuse of therapist and she goes, I promise you, when you break up with me, or if you ever need to leave me, I will never hold it against you. I'll never fight it. I will never that is such a triggering thing, and you know you were safe with me, and I trusted her. I eventually let this girl go. She was totally fine about it, so understanding, so loving. I I didn't end up following through with the E M d R. I'm not seeing any therapist now. This old therapist wrote to me this weekend saying, Hey, I was just thinking of you. I just wanted to say hi and say that I think of you often and I'm wishing you all the best. You don't even need to write back to this, just wanted to say hello. And then I was like, I loved her so much, that's sweet. I started writing her back and trying to end telling her like, my life is actually I've never felt better. I'm on med's, I you know, still recovered from eating disorder, loving my job, embarking ontour, a little stressed out. Actually there's this thing, and I go in writing this. I was thought I was gonna write you and say thank you, no thank you, or like thanks and I'll talk to you when I need you. And I ended up going, let's actually pick back up because is you promised me something and you stuck to it and you I trust you now and um, and so I'm going to start seeing a therapist again. But it was just so nice that actually that because I was smoking weight during it, she was just like just throwing this out there. But you know, such a lovely woman that was actually not trying to repind me of like hey I'm here, I need work. It was really like I love you and care about you as as your doctor at one point, and it was just it was the therapist would be interesting if you left and they're like you're not healed yet, You're like how much will it cost for this not to make you upset? Like can I give you twenty dollars and you'll stop crying for me. It was not about that. It was not about that. She literally, I think loved me and um and she and she was the one I saw when I was seeking out an emotional therapist, uh E f T. So they focus on feeling your feelings. So she would feel my I would tell her horrible things that have happened to me, and then she would cry because she was feeling that. She wasn't like an embath And then I would see her crying and be able to know that it was worth crying about. Because the strangers crying, I should be able to cry and um. And so when I told her goodbye, she got very she started crying, and because she feels everything, and I think she was just really hurt and confused, and it felt like a real breakup. And I still think about her too and and love her a lot. But he was not an easy I'm going through something kind of similar right now where uh the gym that I've been going to a lot. I'm starting to like this gym downstairs, and I in order to go and get classes, I gotta pose stories. And I'm thinking about hiding the stories of this gym from the old gym. Yeah, here's what I had to do, the same thing with my trainer. I was seeing a trainer three days a week in two thousand thirteen. I was like so fit. I was getting ready to break up with him. And then he moved to l A. It was in New York, and I was like, oh my god, this is the best thing ever because I didn't have to do it, because I didn't have the heart to do it, and I was just gonna go to no one. So what you do, and Andrew as you tell him the truth? Because what is the truth, Well, it's far away, you got injured during the class. It's more high intensity. You want something that works on your hips. Now he's gonna say he's gonna have combatant. He's gonna say, well, we can do more hip stretches and do more pilates type things. And you just have to say, dude, I loved your class, but I'm going to try something new new no offense. I can also do both. I could because I'm just not going to go as much to this guy. But don't hide him from your story. Is just because you're allowed to go to Yeah, no, I love that. And he probably heard this anyway, so next story. It's a great guy. Do I care? Why do I care? Oh boy? If you haven't seen this video, Cardi b surprises her three year old daughter culture with a k with a dazzling diamond necklace on her third birthday, Oh god, I mean it's really cute as mini mouse with like, I mean, how much does this cost? Do we have an estimate? There was no praise two rand Yeah, um, doesn't surprise me. Uh Spade was actually doing a hilarious bit, not even a bit. He was just like talking about how you know the Kardashians, you know, uh psalms or North's birthday is like she's too and it's just like bigger than any celebration that anyone's ever thrown for him as an adult. And it's like he was he was making me laugh so hard. He just talks in stand up. It's frustrating. But um, yeah, these these kids are spoiled. It's scary to see what they're going to turn into based on this. But also, you know, I I feel like Cardi is just a lot of times parents make a party that they want to go to. I think Cardi Cardi wants that necklace and so and kids don't have much of a personality yet to like actually get something, and it's just to just display wealth and um, to project that you're important and that you have money and um, that's what diamonds are all about. And uh, partner, like you were you were talking about like, oh, you know, then I'll spend too much on a hotel and I'll feel bad about spending. Yeah. I look at this, and Cardi goes, I'm gonna give her a three hundred thousand dollar necklace and I'm not even gonna think twice about it. And I'm like jealous of that, of her being able to because Cardi spending three thousand dollars on a necklace is like you spending three dollars on a latta. Like if you look at how much money she has, probably do you know what I mean, no offense to you was broke, but in comparison, it's just the same. It's it's nothing. Yeah, but you know that's not a lot of money. Yeah, yeah, I guess, so, I guess. So. I mean I also think, like sometimes I bet she got it gifted from Cardier or whatever. A lot of times if you watch Kim Kardashian, Uh if you're into a SMR by the way. Uh. Kim Kardashian is one of the best a s M artists out there, and it's unintentional, which is my favorite a s m R. If you don't know what a SMR is, it gives you like brain orgasms because it makes you tingle in your head when you hear people like whispers talk softly. My favorite a SMR is uh, women talking softly like this, like they're a nurturing mother, which is a sound I didn't hear that much because my mom talks like this, you know, it's always just like this. And Kim Kardashian talks like this, Oh my god, we got this for North It's so beautiful. So what they do these compilations on YouTube? Kim Kardashian a sm R, also Chloe Kylie, They all talk with a SMR voice that very soothing voices they are. They have millions of views on these videos. It's just compilations of their stories on Instagram thanking different companies for sending them things. And I swear to God, Kim Kardashian gets probably a million dollars worth of gifts from people every day every day, and she goes you guys, thank you much, and she's such a grateful sweetheart. I really like Kim Kardashian from watching these because you know, when she's thanking someone, she's like, oh my god, this new lip kit, thank you so much, it's beautiful, and she she really don't you can tell why she gets all these things because she plugs it so well on her Instagram. And I got to take a page out of her book because I get sent a lot of stuff and I feel bad putting it on my story because I think my listeners and my fans will be like, we don't want to see you talk about this, like butt wipe you got which, By the way, Tail Feathers, thank you so much for sending us so many disposable butt wipes. We've used them so much. Shout out to Tail Feathers, best disposable butt wipe. Do not throw your butt wipes that you're buying at the store in the toilet. You have to put them in the trash, but if you want one you can put the toilet. Tail Feathers is the one to do. I love them so much. Um So I'm gonna do that more. I'm gonna be better about shouting out to people that send me free stuff because I like free stuff and it's so sweet of you, and thank you so much. Why do I care? I literally I don't care. What I do want to talk about for our sports moment and if we can get to it before this week. Is the that stole stole rob Ron mcaley. Who's the golfer m McNerney. Yeah, yeah, that's him. Did you see the guy that stole his club? What dude? It is the funniest thing. It was all over there. We watched it last night again name drop. I met up with Spade and some friends at a bar and on the TV after the basketball game was the news and they go, did you see this guy? So they're at the what's the what's the what's the thing they're doing right now? The US the golf tournament open. That feels like tennis to me, Well, yes, the US opens coming off. Oh no, it's not. You know, it's a celebrity thing American Century. Maybe they're doing whatever they're doing. There's all these caddies around that guy's Rory McGill roy's clubs, and then all of a sudden and there's a camera and all of a sudden, this guy walks by and just grabs a club that has like a big stuffed animal bear as like the over the club here. Watch this dude, and this guy walks by just nonchalantly look at him and he's gonna grab that little doghead that's covering a club. And then watch he struggles with it, it doesn't come out. He comes back to it, he grabs another club, picks it up, walks off, and there are three guys around, and they go, who was that. He goes off to the side and starts practicing his swing to make it look like he deserves this club, and they they all, he's just a guy that snuck in and tried to steal golf club nonchalantly. They all take care of it. And uh, it's just the funniest thing that this guy tried to make it look like he deserved to be there, and and uh, he's just a stranger that's not going to look off course the Soul Club. And that is how I felt about a couple of people that came up to me at the after party and acted like they deserve to be sitting next to me when they did not, and made me very uncomfortable. So that. Remember that guy that came up to me, Do you remember them? I think I was talking to him for probably why I left for a little bit, and that's when he probably No, yeah, you weren't. You weren't. I don't think you were there for this one. Um? Yeah, I uh. I was sitting at on the couch and there was a space open next to me on a couch that would have been made us very cozy if someone were to sit there. And he's a big guy too, so he would have been right on me. There's a chair in the purple shirt. Yeah, big hands, Yeah, I guess um. And he he goes, can I sit there next to me on the couch And I go, no, you're fine here, I can hear you, and he goes okay, um okay, and I go um and he's mumbling I can't even hear him. He wants me to get closer to him, and I go, do you want a picture, sir? And he goes, oh. He looked disappointed that I called him sir, because I'm trying to establish like you're not someone I want close to me, like you're a sir, like you know what I mean. He goes, oh, sir, and I go, yeah, I just served you. That's what you deserve. Because his his energy was not good. So we take a picture. I just kind of get close and go like hi, and then he keeps mumbling. He's like to himself and kind of trying to get my numbers, and I was just like, I don't. I don't need I don't want to do this. And he's like, I'm not trying to go. I don't whatever it is, I just don't want it. Can we just like not? And he goes I'm not trying to like, and I go and he's still not getting it, like go, like stand up and leaf, you're making me uncomfortable and and this I'm not capturing how uncomfortable this made me, but it was really I don't mind people coming up to me. I actually left right after this because he wouldn't leave, and I just go, I want to go, and everyone we get up to go, and then there's a line of people that see me get up to go, and they're all wanting to meet me. I met all of those people because they were all lovely and gave me such good energy. This guy bad energy, even though he's a fan. I think he was a little too drunk and nervous um and I'm, I'm, I'm just it really made me really upset that occurrence. For whatever reason, I felt very unsafe. I felt uh and I don't ever feel that way. I just didn't like him. He seemed to get mad when I heard him in a way that was like not good. And then I went. Then I left, and all of these people came up to meet me afterwards, and they were all so lovely. I hugged them all like I don't want anyone to think I don't like meeting fans. I actually fucking love it more than anything. But if you have an ambition to try to fuck me, just don't. Don't. Don't talk to me. That's not If I feel that bone or energy from you at all, it's not going to be good. But if you're just a normal person that yeah, you would suck me if you could, that's fine too, but don't try to or have any ambition of that, because it's never ever going to happen. Okay, let's get to top one bottom one. Today's category is injuries. Injuries. Top one injury, top bottom or bottom injury. Andrew, can you get us started with your least favorite injury. I would say my bottom one. I just I had one, and now I'm thinking my bottom one should be my bottom asshole being injured all the time. Yeah, fishers, But I was thinking the other, the one, the one one that I think that's your bust one because the story that came with it. You know, like injuries across the board should be bad, right, but sometimes you're grateful for one because of what it led to. I would say, no, I was. I just came up thought of that, But I really think my bottom one is high school football. I never scored a touchdown and it's my senior year. And uh, I ran aslant, I caught the ball and I got hit so hard. I scored the touchdown, but it knocked the wind out of me so bad that I literally thought I was gonna die. And I was if you ever get the wind knocked out, come here, wind. I need the wind. Put me a wind. Come on, I need you wind, you know. And and I was just rolling around. I wasn't cool about it. I'm rolling around when I need wind. And uh, that was my only touchdown I ever scored. I couldn't celebrate it, didn't even celebrate it because you were looking for the wind. Yeah, did your team win? Did the touchdown? We lost? Okay, but that's still cool though that you got one. But yeah, that that's a that's bitter sweet because you wouldn't like do a little dance or something. Yeah, you won't have your team lift you up. You don't want to be like a wind seeker, like a native American like wind like doing it. Yeah. The woman that actually helped it just sounds like a what the are athletic trainer? Such a nice lady, miss Hitton, who was like the only lesbian that I kind of knew growing up. She died, she got e lectured, she got struck by lightning and died. And I don't know if anything to do with the wind, but yeah, yeah, well I'm sure the wind has a part to play in and you know, weather events like that. So that's ironic. And I was wondering if the crowd reacted when you got hit. Did you hear oh anything? Like the same team I played against my sophomore year and I got hit on kickoff and uh, I flew like twenty yards off the screen. That's how far I flew because I was so small. The Jersey one passed my knees. When I was just Altimore, I was like a hundred pounds, like I was literally Lucas from that movie Lucas whatever, and I was running and while I was in the air, I could hear the crowd going, oh, like feeling bad for me, and I still haven't I didn't even lay in yet. And so we were watching the film the next day and I swear to got my coach replayed me getting hit in front of the team literally forty five times and everyone laughing at me like it was it was a good name. Anyways. So anyways, no about Apparently the trailer for Boy or f Why Island just dropped and I'm getting a lot of texts from it. I can't wait to see it. Um, so go check that out today. Um and uh. And I can't post about it yet because I'm doing my podcast, which is much more important to me. But check out the f By Island trailer that came out today. No, what is your worst injury? My worst one uh was um I uh, I injured my small toe. Um in class. Yeah yeah, I think we were for the pinky toe. Sorry my pinky toe. Well, it's you know, what's It's so small. It's not even a pinky toe. It's like almost like non existent. Oh you have a very very small it gets a clip, yeah, a little tiny clip. But it was so inconvenient because it was winter time. I couldn't wear, like to wear shoes was full. I had to like, you know, um, what's the word like like it's as if it like disabled my whole leg. And it was a little stupid tiny toe that created two weeks of inconvenience and I couldn't train and I and my coach was like, where have you been the last two weeks? And I was like, oh, you know, I had a a toe injury and those are the worst because you can't put a cast on it. Yeah, and he's like, your toe, yeah, yeah, that's the problem. Yeah. You're like, you might as well just like cut it off because it's only getting like it's but it does. You need it for balance, and you're right. You learn how much your little toe matters when you do injure it. It's like that it's a big part of your life because you're putting pressure on it all day. Yeah, it does suck. That is so small and so you can't bring it up like that sucks when something does hurt, but you're too shy to bring it up. Are you that tiger from that? Just it just skin cancer? Oh, it's melano Like. It's like, no, I'm sorry, I don't have liberty cancer. Sorry I don't have something big. Well, that's that's what how I feel about mental illnesses. No one ever looks at it like uh, oh you got that. Your brain did that to you. It's always like why are you not eating? Why do you think you're God? Why do you why are you addicted to alcohol? It's never like oh my, it's never the same as we really need to look at it like you caught something. And that's what a lot of people write to me about their daughters or sons who are struggling with an eating disorder and what they need to say to them. And my biggest advice is always you and your son or daughter need to look at it like you are possessed like the Exorcists. Go watch the Exorcist and think of anorexia as that, as as the devil, and then you all need to fight against that. Not blame the daughter or son for this decision, because it's not up to them that they're not eating. You need to all combat this like it's a separate entity. And that's the first. Yeah, well that's no up play it say it's a very severe and it's and it's like it's like cancer, Like you wouldn't go, why do you have cancer? Like my dad probably would to my mom, he'd be like, what you eat splendor, Like he'd probably blame her. But um, that's the thing I should work out in therapy with therapists. What about your bottom one? Thanks, No, my bottom one is uh, it's kind of a two. I was thinking a twofold thing. It happened the same time in my life. I was jumping over a fence, drunken, very wasted um in Columbia, Missouri. I was I was doing a guest set for Jim Florentine show in two thousand four, and my sister was with us, Me and my sister, Greg Warren, Jim Florentine, and another girl at her apartment complex in Columbia after a show, wasted sneaking into a um a pool, jumping over a large fence. My flip flop went to the side and I was like, I've got it. I went first, I went over my flip flap, went to the side, slam my heel on the pavement. Did not feel it until the next morning, and I broke my heel, which is the hardest bone to break in your bodies, like the thickest bone. Until weeks later. I got crutches, got a boot, got everything, but didn't go to the doctor because my parents said it was just bruised and that I was over exaggerating. I was living with my parents at the time. I was working at CPK California Pizza Kitchen. I was walking around with gel inserts in my make it better. Finally went to the doctor and they were like, yeah, you broke your heel. This is really impossible to do. How far did you fall? All these things and it was like the whole thing another During the same time, I was also actually this a couple of years later, but let me just add this on to it. I was getting a um a Brazilian wax from a girl that I met, and I was she was doing it was like her she had just started this business of like waxing. She had just gotten her essition's license. Something happened during it. I got uh my wax for the first time, my boyfriend was coming to visit from New York and visit me, so I want my pussy wax. My parents were out of town. We're gonna have the house to ourselves. I for whatever reason, this is really gross. I'm so sorry. Every single hair follicle where I would used to have hair follicles turned into a a white head, like a pussing white head. So I had to go around and like pop each of them, hundreds hundreds, thousands, perhaps all over my vagina. I mean, it was the grossest thing I've ever witnessed. Um, I couldn't have sex. I had to put a cover over it to have sex. It was painful to have sex, but I still wanted to have sex because I was just trying to please him and and needed sex to validate myself at the time. Got infected, got a staff infection, which my parents uh told me was a bug bite because it was like there was one on the like near my belly button, like kind of up on my happy trail, one on my lower thigh that I could show my parents, and one on my butt, and I was like these It was after my the other stuff had healed, and I was like, these hurts so bad. They were like looks like a bug bite, just going epps and salt bath. It wasn't going away. The pain of these bites was shooting pain throughout my whole body, like it was just a weird kind of like down my leg, you know. Went to the doctor and she was like, oh my god, you have mersa. I got a mersa which can kill you, and you need to be like quarantine when you have it. Um. I went to San Francisco, took the meds. The one of the bumps popped on the plane. It was the best feeling of my life because it like just instant relief. Um. But that was the worst injury because it was all done for vanity and sucked. Okay, best injury, Andrew, I do love that you still had sex with them. I was a sex addict. Yeah, it's like a football player playing with a broken leg. Worst best injury, Andrew, Um. Best injury, I would have to say getting stabbed. It was, you know, yeah with a bulletproof vest on. Yeah. I Um, I was visiting my brother at I'll just tell it quick, but I was visiting my brother at tu Lane. His roommate was the next Navy seal he had on. He had a bulletproof vest in his closet. I tried it on. He goes, look, it's knife proof. And he stabbed me. And it went through the vest and into my chest. And he was it was just millimeters away. You would have probably would have collapsed, and I would have I would have died. I thought my heart was pumping blood because the start spangled banner. He we went to the emergency room. He told me, I had to tell the wait Noah and I are very what you thought you were what you thought your heart was pumping blood because of the star spangled banner. They got stabbed on the left side. He got stopped. He got stabbed on the left side of his chest. And so when you it's a pledge of allegiance. By the way, when you sing the Pledge of Allegiance, you put your hand the star spangled banner. Two, okay, whatever, So that so that makes sense. I love that we had to decipher what this meant. But it's true. Your heart is more in the center of your chest. So he thought where he got stabbed was where he put his hand for the Pledge of legiance slash starge angled pinner. It wasn't though, he thought, because on the left side it was his heart that was stabbed, But it wasn't. It was his lung and his Your heart is more in the center of your chests. And turns out the navy seal was not a Navy seal. He was the lead singer of a band that Andrew then saw the next night. Oddly enough, on stage, Um, he had to lie to the cops about being stabbed because the Navy seal came in and threatened him. So he said that a dog attacked him and he was trying to get the dog away and accidentally stabbed himself and that's the cops kind of believed it, but didn't at all. And uh that that's the story, right, and he was never a Navy seal he lied, ye, and uh yeah. And then and then you went to too Lane because that visit was so exciting, you decided. I met a girl the next night and showed her I got stabbed, and we went home together, but I wouldn't have sex with her because I thought she did have aids. Huh do you do you have a scar from that sap? Let's see, it's right here, it's a puncture. It would be cool. I asked him to slash me because it would look should get a tattoo of like a scar. Uh no, your best injury, okay, my best injury also involves my toe, but involves my big toe. Oh my god, it's a toe off thumb? What is your Yeah, but we don't have a name for that one. That is weird that the pinky transfers but the thumb does not. Although Andrew, your your thumbs look like big toes, so maybe it's your your We should just call thumbs big toes thumb thumping. I was a teenager and I had just get knocked down and then no one gets up again. Actually same era. I had gotten l A gear speakers, remember those, and I was like cute, but they were I guess, like too tight, like a size too small. And my big toe ended up getting infected. And I remember being at my friend's house and I'm just like, oh my god, my toe just feels so swollen. And I pushed on the nail and like all this puss came out, like popped out. I'm so sorry to anyone listening, but if you survived Nicki's story, you could live through this. Yeah. My pussy was puffy. I'm sorry, my pussy was pussy. I had a pussy, so you had a pussy tote. So you push on the toe, And what is the best one is that? Well it's the best one because it created this like click sound that I can still hear in my head. And then after I just like was like it gross and like I wiped it off and then the toe healed. I didn't have to do it. I didn't was the best. Okay, that is a good story when you can heal yourself. Um, Okay, my best injury is the one I've given myself over and over by scalpeling off my wart on my knee, and I love it so much. Right, I forgot my scalpel on this trip, so I might go order some more on Amazon to have them delivered to this hotel that I might not be saying it because I'm blackmailed him. Um, but I love my warts. Yes, session, Nikki, you posted a photo on Instagram, um holding the Gibson and I was like trying to look for it on your knee but I couldn't. Oh yeah, you can see it in that you can see it on that picture. Hold on, let me show you I think you can because I maybe actually I I picked one that you couldn't because I was like, oh yeah, you can't. Okay. If you zoom in on my picture of holding the Goodson in the stairwell, it is on my right knee and it's a little it's really dark because I put on tanning stuff and the tanning stuff made the scar over it get darker, and so right now it's like brown and you can see it. And I just sliced it off every four days and um, and I love it. It's my favorite injury. I love removing warts. I really, I'm serious. If any fans have warts, you can maybe get a backstage pass for me. And I mostly want to do women. Let me just say to women fans, if you have a callous or if you have a wart on the bottom of your foot that you would like me to treat, um, I and you sign over the for me to attack it with the scalpel, a clean one. UM that I will not give you merca with you know, I try not to. Uh. You can write to me on Instagram. We can work out a plan, but that is also not the best way to get to meet me. You can also buy meet and greets. But I definitely need to be doing this more often in my life. Let's get to final thought. Andrew, I'm gonna ask you to tell this story. It's a sensitive one, but I think our listeners need to hear it because we were laughing so hard on Saturday night. Because at the after party, the casino had an after party for me called the Nicky Glazer after Party, and it was at um after my show at this bar in the casino, a really nice bar. They had like this quarantine section for me with ropes velvet ropes, and I go, I don't need to sit there. Looks ridiculous. I'm an exhibit at an art museum because the place was not crowd enough to have a v I P. So let me just sit over here. It looks like you should have a plaque like Nicky Glazer speech human, Like you know, someone has a table at a at a place that isn't crowded. It's like you spend and I go, no, no, no, I'm just gonna go over to this other section be amongst the people. And Andrew got this is this is a thing that happens sometimes. It shows that really annoys me and I get it, but sometimes they're fans of Andrews that come to my shows and they want to make it very clear to me that they didn't come for me and they came for Andrew. And it's happened to me as an opener as well. People have done this to me when I opened for different comedians. They would ignore the headliner when we would walk in somewhere and go, you were amazing to me, just to like rub it in the headliner's face that they didn't I didn't come for you. You get enough attention. So this girl, I walked in this club and this girl comes. Andrew's next to me, and she comes up to Andrew and it's like, I have a table of girls that need to meet you. They love you so much and totally ignores me. Can't even be like great show, Hey, we like Andrew just like so so definitely not best. These these are puddleheads for sure, and they came over. I don't care if you don't like me. I literally literally please come to the shows of you're a fan of Andrew and like come like just say for him and then leave after me. I don't I don't care, but just if you witness me, don't be rude unless I've done something to actually hurt your feelings. Confront me about it. Don't just be rude and ignore me. So I have feelings too. And so this girl comes up to Andrew. And this girl has definitely like a maybe spinal disorder. She's kind of like hunched over and like has a has some kind of affliction like a bone thing, maybe spina bifida or some version of that. Cute, adorable girl. And she comes with the Andrew. She goes there's a bachelor party. They want to meet you, and they're in this like section, and so I he who goes off with his I had a thought too that they sent her over because there's no way I would tell her no, you know what I mean, like a girl with like I thought, now I that that's just a girl. If you if you live with a condition like that, you either stay inside because you're so scared of people talking about you, or you just turn it off and you don't care anymore. But you Yeah, she was awesome, and you could tell this girl just had a lot of confidence and like didn't didn't wasn't worried about what we might think based on her physical appearance, and I really actually like that about her, But she was rude to not say anything to me, and it had nothing to do with her condition. She was just rude. So she she shakes it Andrew over to this group of girls. One of them is wearing a bachelorette like sash across. You know, it's a group of rowdy girls, and he goes over to meet them. Were they puddleheads? How did they know you from girls got to eat or something? I didn't get into that. Okay, I'm sure they made some comment to you of like you were the best or something like that, even though you know it's I'm sure they did that. No, I'm not sure about it. I think it's really rude and I've seen it. It has happened to me as an opener before, so I know what happens to you all the time. They had No. No, we don't get off on it. No one likes that. But it's it's just a way for them to be like, I like you, not her. So I go over there and it's a bachelor at party. Um, they're they're not that rude, they're not that fucked up, you know, they're they're pretty with it. And the girl goes, you know, this was a great show, you know, in despite of what you think of what because I didn't say anything to you. They said this was unbelievable. I'm so happy that I got entertainment. This is the first live show we saw. You guys were incredible, including you, Nikki not on you though, and and uh no, and they were very nice. And the one goes, well, I'm going to see Dave Matthews and I'm going to see him three times in common than we think. Yeah, yeah, they're probably besties. So anyway, so then I go. I go to her. I go, oh, that's cool. She's like, well, I actually did see some live stuff. I go, oh, what did you see? And she was probably like the music was blasting, and she was like three feet away from me, and she looks at me and she goes, you know, and she's just I could just see her mouth moving. She's like, I could just see her make out the R word and our word. And then and then I saw them dancing, I thought, she said, and I go, I go, okay, cool. I was like, I go what And she goes and she says it again, and I go, yeah, all right, that's She's like what, And I go on, like, what are those circumstances where you literally had to ask her. It was getting a point where it's like because I can't understand four times I think and what she was, what I thought she was saying was clearly says to you. She clearly says to you. What you clearly here twice, at least twice is retards dancing. Yeah, we saw. I saw one live show. I saw retards dancing. And I go and you said back to her, because you you've not confirmed it twice that you heard retards dancing, and you say back, retards dancing, and they say what she goes, no, I saw. I forgot this second word, but she said, no, I saw cars, race car. I don't know where when I got wrong with dancing, probably race cars, um, race cars racing, something like that, yes, specifically, but it did sound like retards dancing, which, by the way, no one used. I don't even use that word I have. This is the only time I've used it because it's contextual to the story. Um, and you came back to tell me about it reminded me of old renegade, because how could it possibly be that? But you also and then we told the story to Anya because then was she Because the thing the irony is is this girl had a spinal affliction that I'm guessing at some point in her life if she's had it for a long time. Mean, people in school have used that word too, and she's been bullied with that race car. She's been bullied with that word before, which is just so sad to think. But the irony is that you this woman was there that's probably been bullied with that word, even though it had nothing to do. She's not mentally handicapped whatsoever. But people are stupid and when they see someone who's physically handicapped, sometimes they just say that word. So you use the word that this woman has probably been tortured with her whole life accidentally while you're trying to hear what she's saying to you. Her friend was saying it, but she was right next to her. She was there. But they were cool and they laughed about it. They laughed. I think, yes, they laughed about it. And I wanted to, like whisper, I wanted to walk over her and go, dare you saying? You know? Because I didn't want to start yelling at what if the music stopped, and now I'm just saying, next time, I think you should just say I just can't hear you like you should instead of saying retards dancing, because that seems crazy that anyone would say that. However, I do want to say I was telling you the story and we were laughing so hard that you thought they were saying they saw retards dancing, but it was really race cars racing. And I said to her, actually, the girl wasn't wrong because she did see that, because we all danced at the end of the show and that is exactly what it looked. Because Mark was so bad, I was like the iron The ironic part is that she did see retards dancing. I mean, it was us trying to remember this dance at the end of the show that no one was. Anya and I were both wearing way too short of skirts to be doing um, and it was so I'm sorry. I used that word a lot. If anyone's offended by that word, I don't use it in my normal life. It was only for the sake of the story. UM. Shout out to those girls. If you're besties, I love you and I'm sorry. Maybe you were just nervous that's why you didn't say hi to me. Thank you for listening to show today. We have so many more stories from this weekend to tell you. This week is gonna be amazing. I'm check out the f Boy Island trailer that just dropped. I'm sure you're gonna see it on my Instagram. Keep sending us voice memos and messages. Thank you. Meeting you guys for the first time this week. Some of you was that was everything that I wanted it to be. You are so amazing. You're my favorite fans I've ever had in my life. I want to do the show forever. I really appreciate you get others involved that you think deserved to be in our in our group, in a bestie and and with that, don't be kid, and uh, let's see it tomorrow. Fruit