The Nikki Glazer Podcast. Glaser, Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Sticky Glazer Podcast. Here in amazing. What is that? What? What? What is? You're already shaking your head. Did I did I just appoint you with somebody? No?

The Nikki Glazer Podcast. Glaser, Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Sticky Glazer Podcast. Here in amazing. What is that? What? What? What is? You're already shaking your head. Did I did I just appoint you with somebody? No?

And no, it's just about you know, life is key is rolling along.

And no, it's just about you know, life is key is rolling along.

Doesn't it just game going? It just never ends the holidays are over, you know.

Doesn't it just game going? It just never ends the holidays are over, you know.

For Christians, it's like you have that like it's gonna be like the Golden Globes. The Golden Globes are January fifth, and your entire life for the last month is the Golden Globes. Then on January fifth, the Golden Globes are going to happen, and then the next day you're gonna wake up and your life is just going to continue on.

For Christians, it's like you have that like it's gonna be like the Golden Globes. The Golden Globes are January fifth, and your entire life for the last month is the Golden Globes. Then on January fifth, the Golden Globes are going to happen, and then the next day you're gonna wake up and your life is just going to continue on.

Yeah. Well, the next day I have to do Stern and then the next day after that I go to Hawaiian and then the next day then I have to come back for the Critics' Choice Awards, and then and then there I have a special to start preparing for it. Like it's just there's never going to be an end to working.

Yeah. Well, the next day I have to do Stern and then the next day after that I go to Hawaiian and then the next day then I have to come back for the Critics' Choice Awards, and then and then there I have a special to start preparing for it. Like it's just there's never going to be an end to working.

Yep. And that's good.

Yep. And that's good.

Yeah, that's yeah. That's good.

Yeah, that's yeah. That's good.

I guess yeah, I think I'm I think I'm having a existential crisis with the repetitive nature of the intro to this podcast.

I guess yeah, I think I'm I think I'm having a existential crisis with the repetitive nature of the intro to this podcast.

Every time you do it, I go like, a right, right, right, yes, yeah, it just keeps going.

Every time you do it, I go like, a right, right, right, yes, yeah, it just keeps going.

Actually keep it.

Actually keep it.

You need sleep every day. You need to eat every day, like you're never like some people are bothered by eating. I remember like someone was like, I hate that I have to eat, Like it's like I think it was. I think Andrew Schultz one night at the cellar was like, I don't really like to eat. It like interferes with my productivity, Like I have to remember to eat. I'm like, whoa, wild, It's the only good part of my Life's amazing. I feel that it gets in the way.

You need sleep every day. You need to eat every day, like you're never like some people are bothered by eating. I remember like someone was like, I hate that I have to eat, Like it's like I think it was. I think Andrew Schultz one night at the cellar was like, I don't really like to eat. It like interferes with my productivity, Like I have to remember to eat. I'm like, whoa, wild, It's the only good part of my Life's amazing. I feel that it gets in the way.

I feel that way about showering. I every if I don't shower in the morning and I have to shower at night, and I'm like, it's just like weighing on me and it takes like twenty five minutes me.

I feel that way about showering. I every if I don't shower in the morning and I have to shower at night, and I'm like, it's just like weighing on me and it takes like twenty five minutes me.

About Sorry, we have to blow dryer hair, Yeah that is all or you just look gross.

About Sorry, we have to blow dryer hair, Yeah that is all or you just look gross.

Yeah I blow dry my hair too, but I've been doing this thing lately. I don't know if women are onto this, but I'm sure you, uh, you don't blow dry and then you just have wet hair for a while and then like maybe an hour later you blow dry and takes like two seconds.

Yeah I blow dry my hair too, but I've been doing this thing lately. I don't know if women are onto this, but I'm sure you, uh, you don't blow dry and then you just have wet hair for a while and then like maybe an hour later you blow dry and takes like two seconds.

Yeah, but its yeah, but it can it can take a shape when it's longer. Ya, that's harder to get out, yeah, with the blow dry, But it really does make all the difference to blow dry your hair. Like I find as a woman, like if I just let air dry, which I do, I would say eighty percent of the time, it like you just have to wash it the next day sooner because it gets scraggly and like it just looks like shit and it's like thin frizzy. Like even I got a fucking ad yesterday on my Instagram that was like, do you have curly kind of frizzy hair that when you air dry it it looks like shit?

Yeah, but its yeah, but it can it can take a shape when it's longer. Ya, that's harder to get out, yeah, with the blow dry, But it really does make all the difference to blow dry your hair. Like I find as a woman, like if I just let air dry, which I do, I would say eighty percent of the time, it like you just have to wash it the next day sooner because it gets scraggly and like it just looks like shit and it's like thin frizzy. Like even I got a fucking ad yesterday on my Instagram that was like, do you have curly kind of frizzy hair that when you air dry it it looks like shit?

How do you know?

How do you know?

Like I don't even post pictures of myself when it looks like that that that often, but it like new it is like does it get tangled on the bottoms and then you can't get the hair tie out because it's tangled around And it was like it was so targeted just based on some of the pictures, it's like scammed about me.

Like I don't even post pictures of myself when it looks like that that that often, but it like new it is like does it get tangled on the bottoms and then you can't get the hair tie out because it's tangled around And it was like it was so targeted just based on some of the pictures, it's like scammed about me.

Well wait till ads get a real handle on AI, because then the ads will be like, hey, NICKI, I've noticed that your hair has been tangled lately in your pictures, and we have this product that actually would fix that exact thing. And I'll be like and it'll be like Taylor Swift's voice.

Well wait till ads get a real handle on AI, because then the ads will be like, hey, NICKI, I've noticed that your hair has been tangled lately in your pictures, and we have this product that actually would fix that exact thing. And I'll be like and it'll be like Taylor Swift's voice.

Yeah, you'll talk back to it too and be like, oh, thank you so much for letting me know no one else is paying attention to me.

Yeah, you'll talk back to it too and be like, oh, thank you so much for letting me know no one else is paying attention to me.

Yeah, I feel so alone. And there'll be a bunch of comments on the ad like Nicky should really get this, and then your fail will be making their own comments and your phone will dry your hair for you people.

Yeah, I feel so alone. And there'll be a bunch of comments on the ad like Nicky should really get this, and then your fail will be making their own comments and your phone will dry your hair for you people.

I was thinking yesterday I got a DM from TMZ, like this girl that works at TMZ that's always just sent me like nice thing, Like she's just like, hey, you want to comment on this or like whatever. TMZ is like they're nice people, and a lot of them are like comics and stuff that you like wait outside, So I'm always just like nice to them if they ever want to, Like, they're always asking me inflammatory things. I think in New York they asked me about Luigi and I was like, I don't want to talk about that guy. Like I was just like I'm going to say something that's gonna be weird. I was just like, no, like why am I no commenting about Luigi? It made me feel like I had like I fucked him or something, you know, like no comment about But I was just like, it's my dog's name that disappoints me, you know, like my dog used to be the hottest Luigi or whatever. I said something, and but then yesterday I get a DM that was like, hey, there, we just got a tip about you, and we're wondering if you would want to comment before we run it, and that I'm not kidding you.

I was thinking yesterday I got a DM from TMZ, like this girl that works at TMZ that's always just sent me like nice thing, Like she's just like, hey, you want to comment on this or like whatever. TMZ is like they're nice people, and a lot of them are like comics and stuff that you like wait outside, So I'm always just like nice to them if they ever want to, Like, they're always asking me inflammatory things. I think in New York they asked me about Luigi and I was like, I don't want to talk about that guy. Like I was just like I'm going to say something that's gonna be weird. I was just like, no, like why am I no commenting about Luigi? It made me feel like I had like I fucked him or something, you know, like no comment about But I was just like, it's my dog's name that disappoints me, you know, like my dog used to be the hottest Luigi or whatever. I said something, and but then yesterday I get a DM that was like, hey, there, we just got a tip about you, and we're wondering if you would want to comment before we run it, and that I'm not kidding you.

Like I almost had a heart attack.

Like I almost had a heart attack.

I was. I was down in like the lot, like working on the script. I was like about to go into a writer's meeting upstairs, and I was getting the script ready, and then I'm like I truly felt what maybe might feel like a panic attack because I and then I'm texting Emily showing her. I texted Chris and they're like, call this number if you want to like talk to us about it before we run it. So I sent it to Chris and Chris is like, I'll call. So he calls the number and I'm just like, but he's up in the apartment. I'm downstairs. I'm like waiting for the bubbles to come up and like show me what is it. And he's like, they're calling me back. I got sent to a different guy. I'm like, oh God. And then they finally call back and it's it's about a show that taped. They were like, we got a hot tip that Nikki talked a lot of shit about this celebrity at this show taping and I wasn't on the show taping and I didn't talk shit about that person, and no one even did on the show. And it was a total It was literally the most nothing. I hate when people say nothing Burger, but like this is, yeah, it was. It was truly nothing. My heart great. I just was like I was so I was so calm immediately, but I wrote to Chris. I was like, that was not worth what I just went through, Like I just got a cardio exercise, but like I just aged like that was so stressful, thinking that like I was gonna have to like put out some statement or like really ultimately it was about like someone might be mad at me, or someone might that I'm performing for at the Golden Globes might have heard that I said something about a dress they wore once or whatever. The even no jokes I could stand by because I'd just be like, they're jokes. Yeah, But if it was like something I had told a friend backstage about some celebrity that was rude to me, and like cause I talked shit about celebrities that are pieces of shit. But I'm not famous enough to like be out with that. I will someday, And I think that's relatable, Like.

I was. I was down in like the lot, like working on the script. I was like about to go into a writer's meeting upstairs, and I was getting the script ready, and then I'm like I truly felt what maybe might feel like a panic attack because I and then I'm texting Emily showing her. I texted Chris and they're like, call this number if you want to like talk to us about it before we run it. So I sent it to Chris and Chris is like, I'll call. So he calls the number and I'm just like, but he's up in the apartment. I'm downstairs. I'm like waiting for the bubbles to come up and like show me what is it. And he's like, they're calling me back. I got sent to a different guy. I'm like, oh God. And then they finally call back and it's it's about a show that taped. They were like, we got a hot tip that Nikki talked a lot of shit about this celebrity at this show taping and I wasn't on the show taping and I didn't talk shit about that person, and no one even did on the show. And it was a total It was literally the most nothing. I hate when people say nothing Burger, but like this is, yeah, it was. It was truly nothing. My heart great. I just was like I was so I was so calm immediately, but I wrote to Chris. I was like, that was not worth what I just went through, Like I just got a cardio exercise, but like I just aged like that was so stressful, thinking that like I was gonna have to like put out some statement or like really ultimately it was about like someone might be mad at me, or someone might that I'm performing for at the Golden Globes might have heard that I said something about a dress they wore once or whatever. The even no jokes I could stand by because I'd just be like, they're jokes. Yeah, But if it was like something I had told a friend backstage about some celebrity that was rude to me, and like cause I talked shit about celebrities that are pieces of shit. But I'm not famous enough to like be out with that. I will someday, And I think that's relatable, Like.

But I always do that. It is relatable. Like if you go and you fly and you're going over customs, you always think you might have drugs in your bag or you think, oh yeah, like of like the most negative like I must have I must be doing something wrong. I've done that all the time. And I haven't done cocaine. And when I quit twenty years and I'm like, I have so much coke in my bag. But if you're going to like Singapore or something and you had just like some.

But I always do that. It is relatable. Like if you go and you fly and you're going over customs, you always think you might have drugs in your bag or you think, oh yeah, like of like the most negative like I must have I must be doing something wrong. I've done that all the time. And I haven't done cocaine. And when I quit twenty years and I'm like, I have so much coke in my bag. But if you're going to like Singapore or something and you had just like some.

Like a scumambient on your coaster, yeah you get your decapitad. No. I was just terrified. I was just like that was really unnecessary to put my nervous system through, Like, yes, really shook it up. I felt it, the facts of it all day long, and it was just five minutes like really like oh my god. And you know, it's like anything if you lose your purse, if you're like kid you kind of struck them at the mall for thirty seconds or whatever, Like it was just that kind of thing of like everything's about to be taken from you. But also I was kind of like, okay, fine take it, like I'll just I'll be okay.

Like a scumambient on your coaster, yeah you get your decapitad. No. I was just terrified. I was just like that was really unnecessary to put my nervous system through, Like, yes, really shook it up. I felt it, the facts of it all day long, and it was just five minutes like really like oh my god. And you know, it's like anything if you lose your purse, if you're like kid you kind of struck them at the mall for thirty seconds or whatever, Like it was just that kind of thing of like everything's about to be taken from you. But also I was kind of like, okay, fine take it, like I'll just I'll be okay.

I was like TMZ, now I need an e m T which is Trevor Wallace style joke. Oh yeah, listening, I just wrote a good Yeah, that's a good joke.

I was like TMZ, now I need an e m T which is Trevor Wallace style joke. Oh yeah, listening, I just wrote a good Yeah, that's a good joke.

Yeah that is a good yeah. And then I'm gonna and then I'll have to do that d MT to get my life.

Yeah that is a good yeah. And then I'm gonna and then I'll have to do that d MT to get my life.

Back, and I'm gonna have to go to the DMV and get a new license because I just lost it.

Back, and I'm gonna have to go to the DMV and get a new license because I just lost it.

And then I'll be straddling my lives, of my my sides of my world like I'm on the DMZ.

And then I'll be straddling my lives, of my my sides of my world like I'm on the DMZ.

Wow.

Wow.

And then I like yeah, like you like if you can't, you can put your foot over it, I think. And then I've looked over it. I think.

And then I like yeah, like you like if you can't, you can put your foot over it, I think. And then I've looked over it. I think.

So you've been to in Korea.

So you've been to in Korea.

Korea, Yeah, I went, yeah, yeah, but I looked into North but it was still like two thousand and eight. We were performing for the American troops that were stationed over. Oh yeah, it wasn't us. It was called Tessa's Funny Ladies or something.

Korea, Yeah, I went, yeah, yeah, but I looked into North but it was still like two thousand and eight. We were performing for the American troops that were stationed over. Oh yeah, it wasn't us. It was called Tessa's Funny Ladies or something.

Wow, that's a lot more official soundings. Yeah, it was.

Wow, that's a lot more official soundings. Yeah, it was.

I bombed so bad, Like, yeah, I bombed the troops heavily. It was. It was so because I had to follow the first show. I followed April Macy because I had like recently gotten it was two thousand nine, summer of two thousand and nine, had gotten a Tonight Show credit. So like I guess they were, you know, the woman organizing the show was like, Nikki should close, she has a Tonight Show credit, and April had been doing it a little bit longer than me. April's just like a fucking it's a different closer, like she's I wouldn't want to follow her now, like I just it's she's just so good. So April Macy and she had just done the last comic standing, but they put me after her on the first show. They switched that real quick. I bombed rs than I've ever bombed, Like I couldn't.

I bombed so bad, Like, yeah, I bombed the troops heavily. It was. It was so because I had to follow the first show. I followed April Macy because I had like recently gotten it was two thousand nine, summer of two thousand and nine, had gotten a Tonight Show credit. So like I guess they were, you know, the woman organizing the show was like, Nikki should close, she has a Tonight Show credit, and April had been doing it a little bit longer than me. April's just like a fucking it's a different closer, like she's I wouldn't want to follow her now, like I just it's she's just so good. So April Macy and she had just done the last comic standing, but they put me after her on the first show. They switched that real quick. I bombed rs than I've ever bombed, Like I couldn't.

We got to.

We got to.

He's pointing out my set to his daughter on that little tour. We yeah, we, but then we had to do a meet and greet afterwards. Like if I bomb, I don't want to see anyone, like I always, I don't want to see anyone, even if I kill after the show, I'm always like scared one person is going to be like ruin the moment. I didn't like it, and they have to pretend because their husband wants to meet me, and like it happens. I see it happen. They're never really blatantly rude about it. But I see when people don't want to meet me where they go. I'm good, I don't need a picture. And it's not even about like I don't like pictures. I don't you know. It's like, literally, I don't like you, and I'm trying to let you know that kind of thing.

He's pointing out my set to his daughter on that little tour. We yeah, we, but then we had to do a meet and greet afterwards. Like if I bomb, I don't want to see anyone, like I always, I don't want to see anyone, even if I kill after the show, I'm always like scared one person is going to be like ruin the moment. I didn't like it, and they have to pretend because their husband wants to meet me, and like it happens. I see it happen. They're never really blatantly rude about it. But I see when people don't want to meet me where they go. I'm good, I don't need a picture. And it's not even about like I don't like pictures. I don't you know. It's like, literally, I don't like you, and I'm trying to let you know that kind of thing.

That's terrible, But this it was.

That's terrible, But this it was.

I cried in the bathroom after and then they switched it so I went before her and I ended up having a better time. But that trip was really fun and Soul is so clean. Yeah, no, trash cans anywhere and.

I cried in the bathroom after and then they switched it so I went before her and I ended up having a better time. But that trip was really fun and Soul is so clean. Yeah, no, trash cans anywhere and.

Thread in Southeast Asia. Of all of those, it can be done in Singapore. Yeah, it can not have trash. The heavy penalty, Well, there's two things. I think this is my one is heavy penalty is for littering. So if you in Singapore, if you put trash on the ground, the cut off your hands. Literally, no, not literally, but figure take the hands and figuratively no, it's pretty hard.

Thread in Southeast Asia. Of all of those, it can be done in Singapore. Yeah, it can not have trash. The heavy penalty, Well, there's two things. I think this is my one is heavy penalty is for littering. So if you in Singapore, if you put trash on the ground, the cut off your hands. Literally, no, not literally, but figure take the hands and figuratively no, it's pretty hard.

Yeah, no trash with so many hands.

Yeah, no trash with so many hands.

And then second, it's just cultural. It's there's a thing that they have in Southeast Asia. It's close to respect. There's a thing they have in Southeast Asia that we've totally lost in America, and it's called shame. And if you litter, you might be culturally shamed for doing that, where in America no one has any shame anymore. And it's I am filled with it.

And then second, it's just cultural. It's there's a thing that they have in Southeast Asia. It's close to respect. There's a thing they have in Southeast Asia that we've totally lost in America, and it's called shame. And if you litter, you might be culturally shamed for doing that, where in America no one has any shame anymore. And it's I am filled with it.

If I if there was a wrapper that fell out of my pocket and someone saw it fall out and I didn't get it, I would then and if I like found later like oh my god, it's all out of my pocket, someone might have seen that and thought I did that on purpose. Deep shame for a person that I don't even know.

If I if there was a wrapper that fell out of my pocket and someone saw it fall out and I didn't get it, I would then and if I like found later like oh my god, it's all out of my pocket, someone might have seen that and thought I did that on purpose. Deep shame for a person that I don't even know.

Then you should feel shame.

Then you should feel shame.

If you litter. If people who if you are someone who listens to this podcast and you were someone who puts their fucking cup outside of your car, you clean your car out on the parking lot, and you think putting your cup and everything sitting upright isn't litter and you just sit there on the yellow line in between the cars. Stop listening to this podcast. I don't want I do not want you to listen to this. I don't I think you're a bad person. I think you don't think about anyone but yourself. Someone has to fucking pick that up and also or.

If you litter. If people who if you are someone who listens to this podcast and you were someone who puts their fucking cup outside of your car, you clean your car out on the parking lot, and you think putting your cup and everything sitting upright isn't litter and you just sit there on the yellow line in between the cars. Stop listening to this podcast. I don't want I do not want you to listen to this. I don't I think you're a bad person. I think you don't think about anyone but yourself. Someone has to fucking pick that up and also or.

Not or it just blows around forever.

Not or it just blows around forever.

Yeah, and I know, like the like it's gonna end up in a landfill anyway. Well, let's just buy the time until the landfills start creeping into society. Can we just keep it a little tidy?

Yeah, and I know, like the like it's gonna end up in a landfill anyway. Well, let's just buy the time until the landfills start creeping into society. Can we just keep it a little tidy?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And also, if you're in a bathroom, and I've said this before, and this is something that I have stuck to since I realized it one day. I have never once literally in the past I would say ten years, and this is pretty impressive. Never once have I been in the bathroom and you know, pull the toilet paper, which have to do every single time you have to utilize toilet paper, and you sometimes get the strands, which I always think the Ellen degenerous joke where she's like, this isn't a time to be celebrating, Like it looks like party.

And also, if you're in a bathroom, and I've said this before, and this is something that I have stuck to since I realized it one day. I have never once literally in the past I would say ten years, and this is pretty impressive. Never once have I been in the bathroom and you know, pull the toilet paper, which have to do every single time you have to utilize toilet paper, and you sometimes get the strands, which I always think the Ellen degenerous joke where she's like, this isn't a time to be celebrating, Like it looks like party.

Like she's like, this is.

Like she's like, this is.

No time to be celebrating. I always say that. But if a little piece of toilet paper falls onto the floor from me pulling it out, any any piece of anything, I will always pick it up. Never once have I been like, it's already a shitty bathroom, it's all over, not if it's in a urin like a ten years running ten years. And if I go to if I wash my hands and I use a paper towel and it misses the bin and it falls on the floor. And I used to be someone who was just like, there's a bunch of paper towels on the floor anyway, who gives a shit? I have never once in ten years since I said, Nikki, if you ever do this again, your career will not go the way you wanted to. I made one of those fucking OCD things. Yeah, but it really wasn't about that. It was like that was to get me to do it. But it's really about I realized someone has to bend down and pick that up.

No time to be celebrating. I always say that. But if a little piece of toilet paper falls onto the floor from me pulling it out, any any piece of anything, I will always pick it up. Never once have I been like, it's already a shitty bathroom, it's all over, not if it's in a urin like a ten years running ten years. And if I go to if I wash my hands and I use a paper towel and it misses the bin and it falls on the floor. And I used to be someone who was just like, there's a bunch of paper towels on the floor anyway, who gives a shit? I have never once in ten years since I said, Nikki, if you ever do this again, your career will not go the way you wanted to. I made one of those fucking OCD things. Yeah, but it really wasn't about that. It was like that was to get me to do it. But it's really about I realized someone has to bend down and pick that up.

Yeah, And I know.

Yeah, And I know.

It's like they're already down there and there's one more thing. It's still one more little lean.

It's like they're already down there and there's one more thing. It's still one more little lean.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And why am I good doing that to that woman's back who's cleaning up this bathroom? Why is that her job to clean up my fucking mess? Her job is empty the bins. Her job isn't to pick up my slot because I can't get it in the hole. Yeah, because I'm like, it's gross. I don't want to touch the bathroom floor. Neither does she, bitch, like clean up. Stop leaving paper towels everywhere in these bathrooms. Stop leaving your piss al over the toilet seat, Stop leaving little credit pieces. If you don't want to touch the ground to pick up a tweet of toiletper get more toilet paper and pick it up with it like you're picking up dog shit. There's a way to do it sanitarily. Just start being and for men nicer. Stop spitting your gum in the urinal. That's maybe one of the worst things.

And why am I good doing that to that woman's back who's cleaning up this bathroom? Why is that her job to clean up my fucking mess? Her job is empty the bins. Her job isn't to pick up my slot because I can't get it in the hole. Yeah, because I'm like, it's gross. I don't want to touch the bathroom floor. Neither does she, bitch, like clean up. Stop leaving paper towels everywhere in these bathrooms. Stop leaving your piss al over the toilet seat, Stop leaving little credit pieces. If you don't want to touch the ground to pick up a tweet of toiletper get more toilet paper and pick it up with it like you're picking up dog shit. There's a way to do it sanitarily. Just start being and for men nicer. Stop spitting your gum in the urinal. That's maybe one of the worst things.

Look at any look at any urinal. Go to a football stadium and look at a urinal and men will spit gum in the urinal, and that I've heard from people on interviews or something when they interview the cleaning people. Sure, yeah, post yeah, they say that the worst possible thing is when someone spits gum in the urinal because it's like impossible to get out and it just ruins everything. If it gets into the drain, forget about it, then they have to replace the entire urine.

Look at any look at any urinal. Go to a football stadium and look at a urinal and men will spit gum in the urinal, and that I've heard from people on interviews or something when they interview the cleaning people. Sure, yeah, post yeah, they say that the worst possible thing is when someone spits gum in the urinal because it's like impossible to get out and it just ruins everything. If it gets into the drain, forget about it, then they have to replace the entire urine.

I think gum is probably a scourge on this planet.

I think gum is probably a scourge on this planet.

Gum.

Gum.

Yeah, yeah, it's just like you know, it's all over the sidewalks. It just like creates this little black mass cigarettes. It's like at least you can pick them up. Gum. It's just like you just keep it there until it wears away, and.

Yeah, yeah, it's just like you know, it's all over the sidewalks. It just like creates this little black mass cigarettes. It's like at least you can pick them up. Gum. It's just like you just keep it there until it wears away, and.

It's just like you gets stuck on your shoe. It's that's like one of the worst things that can happen to a human being.

It's just like you gets stuck on your shoe. It's that's like one of the worst things that can happen to a human being.

It's just it's so bad. I quit. I quit chewing gum.

It's just it's so bad. I quit. I quit chewing gum.

Just just you suck, just your cough trot.

Just just you suck, just your cough trot.

But it's really it's good for people who are trying to avoid eating. People love gut, Like I used to eat gum, try to like to instead of Yeah, and I was addicted to it and I quit I think five years ago. And it the one thing about quitting gum. First of all, it's like you just have to learn to just figure something out to do with your body when you're not chewing gum all the time, because some people are are addicted to gum.

But it's really it's good for people who are trying to avoid eating. People love gut, Like I used to eat gum, try to like to instead of Yeah, and I was addicted to it and I quit I think five years ago. And it the one thing about quitting gum. First of all, it's like you just have to learn to just figure something out to do with your body when you're not chewing gum all the time, because some people are are addicted to gum.

For sure.

For sure.

It's like a cigarette, you know, it's like, yeah, the meal's over, I'm putting in gum.

It's like a cigarette, you know, it's like, yeah, the meal's over, I'm putting in gum.

It's like resetting better than a cigarette.

It's like resetting better than a cigarette.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Again, that's what when science needs to do. You need to invent gum that you can chew and then when it's done, you can just eat it. You can swallow it. Yeah, people people do.

Again, that's what when science needs to do. You need to invent gum that you can chew and then when it's done, you can just eat it. You can swallow it. Yeah, people people do.

People do do that. But also you would just like it would have to change, like.

People do do that. But also you would just like it would have to change, like.

The way that gum you just want to swallow it. If there's got to be a switch, you can pray you what you can do? You can it comes a little powder packet and you undo the powder packet and then you drink.

The way that gum you just want to swallow it. If there's got to be a switch, you can pray you what you can do? You can it comes a little powder packet and you undo the powder packet and then you drink.

Think is anything worse than undoing a powder packet? But like when you jump those in your waters, like it gets everywhere you look, there's coke.

Think is anything worse than undoing a powder packet? But like when you jump those in your waters, like it gets everywhere you look, there's coke.

On the table.

On the table.

Yeah, we gotta go to break we have so much.

Yeah, we gotta go to break we have so much.

We're back so it's the new year, and you know, we did this last year, and I think we should do it again. What are the things not not resolutions per se? But last time we did? What are the things we want to not do? That way, you can't fail unless you do it. Well, yeah, that's they're like the reverse resolutions we talked about. Remember this reverse resolutions from last year? I don't remember now, Yeah, I barely remember it. Can't even articulate it. Yeah, but it was like, here are the thing, here are five things I will not do in the year twenty twenty five.

We're back so it's the new year, and you know, we did this last year, and I think we should do it again. What are the things not not resolutions per se? But last time we did? What are the things we want to not do? That way, you can't fail unless you do it. Well, yeah, that's they're like the reverse resolutions we talked about. Remember this reverse resolutions from last year? I don't remember now, Yeah, I barely remember it. Can't even articulate it. Yeah, but it was like, here are the thing, here are five things I will not do in the year twenty twenty five.

Oh interesting, Okay, I like this.

Oh interesting, Okay, I like this.

And like, obviously like smoking cigarettes or something's impossible, but like you can say, like I am definitely not going to binge watch an entire season of a show in one day, Okay, something like that, it's easier to accomplish.

And like, obviously like smoking cigarettes or something's impossible, but like you can say, like I am definitely not going to binge watch an entire season of a show in one day, Okay, something like that, it's easier to accomplish.

Okay, I think I've got one.

Okay, I think I've got one.

Yeah, do you have one? No? Okay, I haven't thought about this at all.

Yeah, do you have one? No? Okay, I haven't thought about this at all.

After the TMZ thing, I was like, you know, what would we make this? What would have made my heart not sink? And I've talked about this a million times. Gossip is just such a great way to connect if you don't have anything else to connect with someone over and you are lacking in creativity. If you're lacking in a real connection, it's like a fake connection based on needing to shit on someone else in it. Like and it also creates the I know, people who I talk shit with talk shit about me. There's no question in my mind it makes me feel a little unsafe to ever be truly authentic with them, even though I'm not like very cognizant, Like I'm not like it's subconscious, but I just I would like to be a person that, you know, like my friend, like my friend Rick Lastman, if one time I tried to talk shit about someone we both mutually knew that was just like it was a friendly talking shit of like to do this, Yeah, boy that was rough or something like that. And he's like, yeah, I don't I'm not gonna. I don't really, I don't want to. That's my friend, and I'm just like, what, like, i'd like to do be that person. I don't want to make people feel weird because about it, like you're a bad person, but like it's just just a way to do it and be like, well, I like that person. I don't want to.

After the TMZ thing, I was like, you know, what would we make this? What would have made my heart not sink? And I've talked about this a million times. Gossip is just such a great way to connect if you don't have anything else to connect with someone over and you are lacking in creativity. If you're lacking in a real connection, it's like a fake connection based on needing to shit on someone else in it. Like and it also creates the I know, people who I talk shit with talk shit about me. There's no question in my mind it makes me feel a little unsafe to ever be truly authentic with them, even though I'm not like very cognizant, Like I'm not like it's subconscious, but I just I would like to be a person that, you know, like my friend, like my friend Rick Lastman, if one time I tried to talk shit about someone we both mutually knew that was just like it was a friendly talking shit of like to do this, Yeah, boy that was rough or something like that. And he's like, yeah, I don't I'm not gonna. I don't really, I don't want to. That's my friend, and I'm just like, what, like, i'd like to do be that person. I don't want to make people feel weird because about it, like you're a bad person, but like it's just just a way to do it and be like, well, I like that person. I don't want to.

That's good because he's purely honest too, so if he was talking shit, it would we'd know it was like so true. Yeah, and so him having like policy of talking is very good.

That's good because he's purely honest too, so if he was talking shit, it would we'd know it was like so true. Yeah, and so him having like policy of talking is very good.

I utilized it the other day. Someone wanted to talk about someone doing bad poorly on something and or liked said that they weren't good or something, and I was just like, I actually loved that person, Like I just had to throw I didn't want to like make everyone feel weird, but I'm just like, no, I like I like them, like yeah they and or empathize like yeah, I've had a I've had I've bombed on something too, or I've really cringe on something. Just be like, yeah, that's happened to me too.

I utilized it the other day. Someone wanted to talk about someone doing bad poorly on something and or liked said that they weren't good or something, and I was just like, I actually loved that person, Like I just had to throw I didn't want to like make everyone feel weird, but I'm just like, no, I like I like them, like yeah they and or empathize like yeah, I've had a I've had I've bombed on something too, or I've really cringe on something. Just be like, yeah, that's happened to me too.

That's that's easier to do, the more successful you get, because you have not they're not hurting you by being shitty at their thing. I have a lot of trouble not talking shit about other writers who are shit right, and I'm just like why, like just get out of here. I have as a one. I also have trouble with like lack of perfectionism. I'm a perfectionist, and when someone is unskilled at something and it's just wrong, I get I can't it hurts me in my being.

That's that's easier to do, the more successful you get, because you have not they're not hurting you by being shitty at their thing. I have a lot of trouble not talking shit about other writers who are shit right, and I'm just like why, like just get out of here. I have as a one. I also have trouble with like lack of perfectionism. I'm a perfectionist, and when someone is unskilled at something and it's just wrong, I get I can't it hurts me in my being.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, and that's the people I talked shit about, like I I and I'm bitter.

Yeah, and that's the people I talked shit about, like I I and I'm bitter.

But if you're willing to say that to those people faces, I have no problem with this difference.

But if you're willing to say that to those people faces, I have no problem with this difference.

Well I would. I would be willing to do that if many of them didn't have power over me or something like me talking like talking shit about somebody like like that's powerful. Will only hurt me if if I said it to their face, whereas.

Well I would. I would be willing to do that if many of them didn't have power over me or something like me talking like talking shit about somebody like like that's powerful. Will only hurt me if if I said it to their face, whereas.

Right, but then you're still not being authentic.

Right, but then you're still not being authentic.

Yeah, and well that's why I have all these probably pains. Yeah, yeah, I'm just filled with bitterness. But I was watching Timothy Shallomy this morning. It was part of it. There was a text chain that I don't know why you weren't included on it, but it was like everyone was on and except you. I guess we didn't want to bother you or something nice, but it was, but it was bother with it. So I think Bob maybe sent.

Yeah, and well that's why I have all these probably pains. Yeah, yeah, I'm just filled with bitterness. But I was watching Timothy Shallomy this morning. It was part of it. There was a text chain that I don't know why you weren't included on it, but it was like everyone was on and except you. I guess we didn't want to bother you or something nice, but it was, but it was bother with it. So I think Bob maybe sent.

Out because Tim Brian's been obsessed with Timothy shall since he saw him on Theovonn's podcast.

Out because Tim Brian's been obsessed with Timothy shall since he saw him on Theovonn's podcast.

Well, I was, I was on the edge. I was like, I think I loved this guy. And then I watched him on theov theovon was Yeah, I think that was the tipping point. That was because you put it.

Well, I was, I was on the edge. I was like, I think I loved this guy. And then I watched him on theov theovon was Yeah, I think that was the tipping point. That was because you put it.

On the big screen just to like do the dishes and have it on the background and maybe listen to for like ten minutes. And he left on the whole thing and said he was completely charmed with Timothy Chalmy. He ran a huge campaign during one of our writer's meetings like be on board with Timothy Shame. You're like, we are not as much as you. And then he knew he knows everything about him and he's not wrong. Timothy shal May is awesome.

On the big screen just to like do the dishes and have it on the background and maybe listen to for like ten minutes. And he left on the whole thing and said he was completely charmed with Timothy Chalmy. He ran a huge campaign during one of our writer's meetings like be on board with Timothy Shame. You're like, we are not as much as you. And then he knew he knows everything about him and he's not wrong. Timothy shal May is awesome.

No, Timothy Shallam is amazing. I think my favorite performance of Timothy shallow May is the press tour he's doing for Bob Dylan, because every single thing is must watch as hell. Yeah, I love him. Yeah. So he was on Nard War this morning, and Ard War is.

No, Timothy Shallam is amazing. I think my favorite performance of Timothy shallow May is the press tour he's doing for Bob Dylan, because every single thing is must watch as hell. Yeah, I love him. Yeah. So he was on Nard War this morning, and Ard War is.

This like kind of kooky guy that.

This like kind of kooky guy that.

Yeah, it's always Nard War versus because the interviews can be a little bit antagonistic because he asks really invasive questions that you don't even remember about yourself, like where did you grow Like like your third grade teacher said this about you? Somehow. He investigated journalism and figures out these things about your past that you have no idea, don't even remember whoa. And then he asks you things about the stuff you probably should know about, Like he asked him a lot of questions about Bob Dylan and Timothy s was on it. But Timothy was on Nardwar. This was being texted this morning, and he was unbelievable on it. And so one thing he did, this is why I brought this up. One thing he did on it. He didn't talk shit about anybody, obviously, but what he did do is he continuously, throughout the interview gave shout outs to people that he admired or respected. So all he does is do shout outs. One time he it was even gotten to be like a joke. One time Nardwar was like, hey, you your your grandma grew up in Canada, and Timothy Shalmy goes, yes, she did shout out Canada, shout out North America.

Yeah, it's always Nard War versus because the interviews can be a little bit antagonistic because he asks really invasive questions that you don't even remember about yourself, like where did you grow Like like your third grade teacher said this about you? Somehow. He investigated journalism and figures out these things about your past that you have no idea, don't even remember whoa. And then he asks you things about the stuff you probably should know about, Like he asked him a lot of questions about Bob Dylan and Timothy s was on it. But Timothy was on Nardwar. This was being texted this morning, and he was unbelievable on it. And so one thing he did, this is why I brought this up. One thing he did on it. He didn't talk shit about anybody, obviously, but what he did do is he continuously, throughout the interview gave shout outs to people that he admired or respected. So all he does is do shout outs. One time he it was even gotten to be like a joke. One time Nardwar was like, hey, you your your grandma grew up in Canada, and Timothy Shalmy goes, yes, she did shout out Canada, shout out North America.

Okay, I'm sorry, it's it was a joke.

Okay, I'm sorry, it's it was a joke.

It was, yeah, it was joking, shout out in North America. But no, most most of the time he's like Johnny, Like when he's talking about how Johnny Cash was played by a different guy in the Bob Dylan movie, he makes sure to say and all the respect to Joaquin Phoenix. He was amazing in his yeah and shout out, and so he just kind of like always pays homage, and he does it, I think because he actually is very self conscious about being judged about being a bad personah about not respecting. And I think this might be true of gen Z overall, is they are very aware that shit will be talked about them on the internet if they're mean, if they say something wrong.

It was, yeah, it was joking, shout out in North America. But no, most most of the time he's like Johnny, Like when he's talking about how Johnny Cash was played by a different guy in the Bob Dylan movie, he makes sure to say and all the respect to Joaquin Phoenix. He was amazing in his yeah and shout out, and so he just kind of like always pays homage, and he does it, I think because he actually is very self conscious about being judged about being a bad personah about not respecting. And I think this might be true of gen Z overall, is they are very aware that shit will be talked about them on the internet if they're mean, if they say something wrong.

Yeah, there was a video that Emily I wanted her to edit of my mom and I both dressed for the last Eras tour in the Taylor Swift Tortured Poets like Military Jacket, which is the scene where she is marching to the Smallest Man who Ever Lived Bridge is my favorite part of the show. And so before the show, I asked my mom to, like, let's do this thing where we marched on the hallway and like you lip saying it, So I'm like teaching her how to lipstick it. So I'm like, oh, well, like marry the two of us marching. It'll be kind of a fun TikTok, And I sent Emily the footage and I was like, actually, I think you should just like edit the Bluebirds because it's kind of funny. And so she put together this whole blooper reel of me like telling my mom how to do this and directing my mom, and there's not one point where I'm like, good job, because like I cut. Every time I cut, I would be like good okay, like because I was like trying to keep the energy up. I was, but I just seem abusive the whole time because I'm now marked legs higher like like and I'm and I can't put it out because it's like the gen z will see this and be like your mean, like because there's no part where I'm like good job, even though I did say that. Throughout it's like and it is so funny because there's so many moments they're funny, but I literally can't release it because I'm like, I just they'll get the wrong idea about who I am and like because I'm like, no, look a little bit more sad, no mom, like like like there's like a little bit of like a brattiness in my voice at some points, but yeah, I.

Yeah, there was a video that Emily I wanted her to edit of my mom and I both dressed for the last Eras tour in the Taylor Swift Tortured Poets like Military Jacket, which is the scene where she is marching to the Smallest Man who Ever Lived Bridge is my favorite part of the show. And so before the show, I asked my mom to, like, let's do this thing where we marched on the hallway and like you lip saying it, So I'm like teaching her how to lipstick it. So I'm like, oh, well, like marry the two of us marching. It'll be kind of a fun TikTok, And I sent Emily the footage and I was like, actually, I think you should just like edit the Bluebirds because it's kind of funny. And so she put together this whole blooper reel of me like telling my mom how to do this and directing my mom, and there's not one point where I'm like, good job, because like I cut. Every time I cut, I would be like good okay, like because I was like trying to keep the energy up. I was, but I just seem abusive the whole time because I'm now marked legs higher like like and I'm and I can't put it out because it's like the gen z will see this and be like your mean, like because there's no part where I'm like good job, even though I did say that. Throughout it's like and it is so funny because there's so many moments they're funny, but I literally can't release it because I'm like, I just they'll get the wrong idea about who I am and like because I'm like, no, look a little bit more sad, no mom, like like like there's like a little bit of like a brattiness in my voice at some points, but yeah, I.

Praise just constant, like do it this way.

Praise just constant, like do it this way.

Do it this way way, but I cut I like, next time, I know, like just put that in, like leave it in. I was just trying to make editing easier for her, but I'm like, next time add in. Don't do it, man, you don't, don't do it just insincerely, but like leave it in because otherwise you can't use it. Because gen Z is very fine, like they're intelligious.

Do it this way way, but I cut I like, next time, I know, like just put that in, like leave it in. I was just trying to make editing easier for her, but I'm like, next time add in. Don't do it, man, you don't, don't do it just insincerely, but like leave it in because otherwise you can't use it. Because gen Z is very fine, like they're intelligious.

Acts probably make the next tailor swift right now, what do you mean? Oh yeah, like that's how you make it tailor swift.

Acts probably make the next tailor swift right now, what do you mean? Oh yeah, like that's how you make it tailor swift.

No tailor swits did not get made by her parents, yeah at all?

No tailor swits did not get made by her parents, yeah at all?

But who was it her? She abused herself?

But who was it her? She abused herself?

Yeah, she bullies herself because she puts her weight. What's the eminem line? I bully myself because it make me do what I put my mind to A million leads above you ill, when I speak in tongues, I'm almost memorized.

Yeah, she bullies herself because she puts her weight. What's the eminem line? I bully myself because it make me do what I put my mind to A million leads above you ill, when I speak in tongues, I'm almost memorized.

Rap God, Rap God? Are you gonna? When are you going to debut? Rap God? I bet you shallow me.

Rap God, Rap God? Are you gonna? When are you going to debut? Rap God? I bet you shallow me.

You don't even understand how hard Like when I started this journey to memorize rap God, the first couple of days, I was like, I'm never gonna It's literally impossible, Like it found kind of like Dancing with the Stars, where I'm like, I can't do that dance, Like there's no fucking way even though it's like not that, but Rap God truly is so fast, so hard, and I'm like eighty percent of the way there. Chris walks in all the time on me practicing, which is kind of embarrassing because he's like, shouldn't you be practicing the globes? But I feel like it's helping me to practice same words fast activity.

You don't even understand how hard Like when I started this journey to memorize rap God, the first couple of days, I was like, I'm never gonna It's literally impossible, Like it found kind of like Dancing with the Stars, where I'm like, I can't do that dance, Like there's no fucking way even though it's like not that, but Rap God truly is so fast, so hard, and I'm like eighty percent of the way there. Chris walks in all the time on me practicing, which is kind of embarrassing because he's like, shouldn't you be practicing the globes? But I feel like it's helping me to practice same words fast activity.

I mean, yeah, you are like nailing these are all new jokes that you're and you are nailing the lines.

I mean, yeah, you are like nailing these are all new jokes that you're and you are nailing the lines.

And it helps me memorize and get cadence down and like rhythm like it's and it's just like a different it's just switching up something like I got to mix up my goals.

And it helps me memorize and get cadence down and like rhythm like it's and it's just like a different it's just switching up something like I got to mix up my goals.

Yeah, well it's that's probably good for your mental acuity as you age. Yeah, you were speaking rap God. How long do you think it would be?

Yeah, well it's that's probably good for your mental acuity as you age. Yeah, you were speaking rap God. How long do you think it would be?

Rap God is like if you're just talking just talking rap over an hour?

Rap God is like if you're just talking just talking rap over an hour?

No? No, no, no, it's I would say I would say it's probably twenty five minutes.

No? No, no, no, it's I would say I would say it's probably twenty five minutes.

Twenty five minutes. Wow, Yeah, yeah, I would say it's even longer. I mean it's so many fucking words.

Twenty five minutes. Wow, Yeah, yeah, I would say it's even longer. I mean it's so many fucking words.

It's so many it is so many words. I think it's the song is like six minutes long, six minutes, six minutes. Yeah, that's the topic.

It's so many it is so many words. I think it's the song is like six minutes long, six minutes, six minutes. Yeah, that's the topic.

Yeah, yeah, it's six minutes song.

Yeah, yeah, it's six minutes song.

If you haven't heard rap God, someone go, you gotta go listen to it because it's just just know that I've almost memorized it all. I can do each part, but I can't do like, there's one part that I'm little star and it's not the part you think I've got. Yeah, I've been doing it in the shower a lot. Like once you start listening to it enough, it like gets into your brain. But I'm I think i'll debut it. I'll probably put it on TikTok at some point. But it does say the F word a lot, other F word.

If you haven't heard rap God, someone go, you gotta go listen to it because it's just just know that I've almost memorized it all. I can do each part, but I can't do like, there's one part that I'm little star and it's not the part you think I've got. Yeah, I've been doing it in the shower a lot. Like once you start listening to it enough, it like gets into your brain. But I'm I think i'll debut it. I'll probably put it on TikTok at some point. But it does say the F word a lot, other F word.

This is amazing progress. I remember a few years ago you were talking about having trouble memorizing the Star Spangled Banner.

This is amazing progress. I remember a few years ago you were talking about having trouble memorizing the Star Spangled Banner.

Yeah that was hard, Yeah, yeah, yeah, because that there's a lot of pressure on that. This one's this is the new Star Spangled Banner.

Yeah that was hard, Yeah, yeah, yeah, because that there's a lot of pressure on that. This one's this is the new Star Spangled Banner.

Bright the way at the end of every year you memorize a new song.

Bright the way at the end of every year you memorize a new song.

But back to like jet like being worried about like people thinking you're nice like that is that that is interesting that gen Z is like aware or like the famous people coming up are aware of that. Not reading the comments really freese me. But it's kind of it kind of does make you. Yeah, you know, it's like I don't get to see any of the good stuff. I don't get to.

But back to like jet like being worried about like people thinking you're nice like that is that that is interesting that gen Z is like aware or like the famous people coming up are aware of that. Not reading the comments really freese me. But it's kind of it kind of does make you. Yeah, you know, it's like I don't get to see any of the good stuff. I don't get to.

Interact with people hearing the good stuff.

Interact with people hearing the good stuff.

You know, yes, you know it's nice. It was like Emily writes me, like j Loo said the slighs or whatever, you know.

You know, yes, you know it's nice. It was like Emily writes me, like j Loo said the slighs or whatever, you know.

Like a lot like famous people commented on the Empire State building.

Like a lot like famous people commented on the Empire State building.

Yeah, and I think Demiley told me about a couple of them. I don't think. I can't remember.

Yeah, and I think Demiley told me about a couple of them. I don't think. I can't remember.

Though.

Though.

It doesn't land. I don't think it really lands.

It doesn't land. I don't think it really lands.

Well I did. I shared a link to everyone except you. This is a very common thing.

Well I did. I shared a link to everyone except you. This is a very common thing.

Now because we that's okay, you don't want to bother me.

Now because we that's okay, you don't want to bother me.

But well, this wasn't I don't want to bother you. This was I know that you don't like reading comments, so I'm not going to share it with you. Oh okay. But I shared it with Chris and Bob and Ian and Sean, and I was like somebody random on YouTube posted your Thursday Night football from last week. It got one hundred and forty thousand views. This is like a random YouTube channel with eight thousand subscribers, so it's not like a big deal. And all of the comments are so positive. Really, everyone's like someone said, I don't watch the game. I only watched Nikki.

But well, this wasn't I don't want to bother you. This was I know that you don't like reading comments, so I'm not going to share it with you. Oh okay. But I shared it with Chris and Bob and Ian and Sean, and I was like somebody random on YouTube posted your Thursday Night football from last week. It got one hundred and forty thousand views. This is like a random YouTube channel with eight thousand subscribers, so it's not like a big deal. And all of the comments are so positive. Really, everyone's like someone said, I don't watch the game. I only watched Nikki.

Oh my god, it's so nice.

Oh my god, it's so nice.

Yeah, And I was just everyone was so overwhelmingly positive. I was like, this is so nice.

Yeah, And I was just everyone was so overwhelmingly positive. I was like, this is so nice.

I hope we get to do it again. Like they were really fun, Like that was this is the kind of thing that I'm like, I just I just, you know, I hope there's time in my schedule do that in the fall. I think there were I'll be gearing up to tape something in the fall, I think. So it'll be tough, but like they're not. The beauty is we don't have to write until we get like we have to write a little bit until we get Monday.

I hope we get to do it again. Like they were really fun, Like that was this is the kind of thing that I'm like, I just I just, you know, I hope there's time in my schedule do that in the fall. I think there were I'll be gearing up to tape something in the fall, I think. So it'll be tough, but like they're not. The beauty is we don't have to write until we get like we have to write a little bit until we get Monday.

Well you just kind of send out an assignment on Monday. Yeah, Wednesday night the night before, and then Thursday.

Well you just kind of send out an assignment on Monday. Yeah, Wednesday night the night before, and then Thursday.

It's like memorizing wrap. God, it takes you out of whatever you're doing. It's just like a one night thing that takes you out of it and then you get back to what you have to do. It's like a different It's yeah, it's it's.

It's like memorizing wrap. God, it takes you out of whatever you're doing. It's just like a one night thing that takes you out of it and then you get back to what you have to do. It's like a different It's yeah, it's it's.

A well oiled machine at this point.

A well oiled machine at this point.

It's great.

It's great.

Do you rather have known about the globes?

Do you rather have known about the globes?

Like less time?

Like less time?

Less time? It didn't affect me too much time.

Less time? It didn't affect me too much time.

I think no, because I didn't start working on it until, like until Chris was done with the two projects he was working on, because he was really going to run it, and I know that he would never let me not start early enough, and so like I just went by, like when Chris was like it's time to go, and yeah, I feel like there's just no I feel like in really good shape for it right now, and like I don't. There's not a part of me that's like we need one more week. Like I think there's been there. There's been that for me in specials where I'm like, God, one more week. I could just fine tune some stuff, and then I just asked for another week. And it's always one more week for a special because it feels like it's just an hour of material. The Golden Lilbes is like ten minutes. So it feels like I'm okay with being like this, this is what it is, and I shouldn't have done more and I couldn't have done more. And also the nominees didn't come out until the ninth I think, yeah later, Yeah, no, it was the ninth. It was the day after the last RAS and then.

I think no, because I didn't start working on it until, like until Chris was done with the two projects he was working on, because he was really going to run it, and I know that he would never let me not start early enough, and so like I just went by, like when Chris was like it's time to go, and yeah, I feel like there's just no I feel like in really good shape for it right now, and like I don't. There's not a part of me that's like we need one more week. Like I think there's been there. There's been that for me in specials where I'm like, God, one more week. I could just fine tune some stuff, and then I just asked for another week. And it's always one more week for a special because it feels like it's just an hour of material. The Golden Lilbes is like ten minutes. So it feels like I'm okay with being like this, this is what it is, and I shouldn't have done more and I couldn't have done more. And also the nominees didn't come out until the ninth I think, yeah later, Yeah, no, it was the ninth. It was the day after the last RAS and then.

That's how I know. Uh, this was actually four hundred and seventy eight days after the last errors.

That's how I know. Uh, this was actually four hundred and seventy eight days after the last errors.

Yeah uh. And also yeah, it's like I just feel like you just don't what was the other thing I was gonna say about taking Oh, and I think about like I remember, I've sure it's been said a million times about SNL, but Bo and Yang was saying about SNL that like the most frustrating part is like you you can't perfect it. Like you write these sketches on a Wednesday night and you run them on Saturday, and like, oh man, if you had another two weeks to rewrite and punch up and to think different things about what production, more time to produce it and put it on camera, what could it be? But you just don't get that. That's what it is, and that's what this is. Like, you don't get that like this.

Yeah uh. And also yeah, it's like I just feel like you just don't what was the other thing I was gonna say about taking Oh, and I think about like I remember, I've sure it's been said a million times about SNL, but Bo and Yang was saying about SNL that like the most frustrating part is like you you can't perfect it. Like you write these sketches on a Wednesday night and you run them on Saturday, and like, oh man, if you had another two weeks to rewrite and punch up and to think different things about what production, more time to produce it and put it on camera, what could it be? But you just don't get that. That's what it is, and that's what this is. Like, you don't get that like this.

Is I don't think we would have benefited from an extra week. I think we maybe would have suffered from an extra week.

Is I don't think we would have benefited from an extra week. I think we maybe would have suffered from an extra week.

Yeah, yeah, I mean you can. I do that every every time I have too much time to do my makeup. It starts to looking it goes from looking perfect disgusting, like it can ruin makeup just by like one more little thing, let me just say, and then it's.

Yeah, yeah, I mean you can. I do that every every time I have too much time to do my makeup. It starts to looking it goes from looking perfect disgusting, like it can ruin makeup just by like one more little thing, let me just say, and then it's.

Oh God for life too.

Oh God for life too.

Yeah. So it's like I think it's a perfect amount of time because I'm getting to the point where I'm like, we're starting to take out jokes from the practice because I'm tired of saying them, and it's like they're diminishing returns. And the best thing is is like we had an I thought, like you know, based on you know, on and Matt's reaction on the road, like three weeks ago, like an A plus set, like, oh my god, this is going to kill. We've beat all of those jokes, pretty much, all of them. All the jokes that were like our A plus of our original and maybe second and third fourth drafts, yeah, are now like R d's because the rest has it's on a curve, it's great.

Yeah. So it's like I think it's a perfect amount of time because I'm getting to the point where I'm like, we're starting to take out jokes from the practice because I'm tired of saying them, and it's like they're diminishing returns. And the best thing is is like we had an I thought, like you know, based on you know, on and Matt's reaction on the road, like three weeks ago, like an A plus set, like, oh my god, this is going to kill. We've beat all of those jokes, pretty much, all of them. All the jokes that were like our A plus of our original and maybe second and third fourth drafts, yeah, are now like R d's because the rest has it's on a curve, it's great.

I don't think if it's on a curve it's a D. I don't think we have lower than a B. Plus.

I don't think if it's on a curve it's a D. I don't think we have lower than a B. Plus.

I agree, there's maybe one or two B plus jokes in the rest of a's and then one or two A pluses, which is like what you want, you can't have all A plus.

I agree, there's maybe one or two B plus jokes in the rest of a's and then one or two A pluses, which is like what you want, you can't have all A plus.

The scary thing about the monologue for the globes is, unlike the roast, where you have a better picture, you don't really know how the audience is going to respond in the room. And so no matter how good we do in these.

The scary thing about the monologue for the globes is, unlike the roast, where you have a better picture, you don't really know how the audience is going to respond in the room. And so no matter how good we do in these.

Well that's why I'm going Jets game the first TNF where they were screaming at me, Oh yeah, you want to see I think it's somewhere online. It's me at the first game is the Jets and.

Well that's why I'm going Jets game the first TNF where they were screaming at me, Oh yeah, you want to see I think it's somewhere online. It's me at the first game is the Jets and.

Well, yeah, Eagles the Jets one. Yeah, that's why it was such a big deal. We were in New York.

Well, yeah, Eagles the Jets one. Yeah, that's why it was such a big deal. We were in New York.

Yeah, it was Jets and Patriots. Patriots, yeah, and the Jets one. And I had to do my first Thursday night football like roast, and the crowd was screaming, not listening to me at all, like literally ten feet away.

Yeah, it was Jets and Patriots. Patriots, yeah, and the Jets one. And I had to do my first Thursday night football like roast, and the crowd was screaming, not listening to me at all, like literally ten feet away.

From me, chanting Jets, Jets, Jets because they.

From me, chanting Jets, Jets, Jets because they.

Wonts Gardner sauce like sauces behind either trying to get an autograph, not paying attention that there's a broadcast on the.

Wonts Gardner sauce like sauces behind either trying to get an autograph, not paying attention that there's a broadcast on the.

Second time and someone's yell sauce that you.

Second time and someone's yell sauce that you.

Do ye exactly when I was spilled a one all over me.