The Nikki Glaser Podcast#477 VIP at Chiefs Vs Chargers Game, Vegas High Rollers & Who Hung with David Dobrik?
Nikki, Brian, Sean, Andrew, and Noa are back together in the studio! Noa and Brian are finally meeting IRL for the first time, and it’s definitely not what they both expected. Leaving almost empty jars in the fridge? Totally a couple thing. Tim Dillon just dropped his new special, This Is Your Country, and Brian’s got a request for the Besties. Nikki wants everyone to start questioning those so-called “authentic” videos on social media. She had the VIP experience at the Chiefs vs. Chargers game and felt like Taylor Swift—until she realized she was in the Chargers' box rocking Chiefs gear. Classic. Andrew didn’t make it to a pickleball tournament but did battle his social anxiety this weekend. Brian pulls out his Akinator app to figure out who invited Nikki to a private gambling room in Vegas. And in the final thought, Nikki helps a high roller have a major epiphany about all that cash on the table.
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The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Niklaser, here's Nikki. Hello here, I am well the show. It's Nick Glaser Podcast. We are in Los Angeles. Everyone is here, including Noah in studio. Hi Noah, Hi, Oh my god, that's so exciting even get my little quote and Brian have met.
I've never met no one in person.
I was.
I thought she was just a picture on a screen that I said full three D.
Is there anything unexpected about each other in person that you didn't account for? Is Noah like shorter or than you thought she did?
I guess she's a little less significant as a structural being than I thought.
Interesting? So is that a dis or is that a compliment? I said interesting. I didn't know what to make of that.
Can you stand up? Are you ai?
I've never seen Yeah, I thought that, you know. I guess you're wearing the crop top sweatshirt. Now, no I thought you'd be.
Well, you're a little taller than you thought.
You're a little taller, but in terms of overall significant, you're a little less robust than I imagine.
Okay, okay, you know, like a tomato soup.
That's Sean O'Connor.
He's in studio two with us who just said tomato soup.
I mentioned the bisk and then also with us, is you know him? You love him? Andrew Colin, I don't know.
Oh ever, yeah, your question.
Be ever, I've had different stages.
First was sour cream, and then I worked my way to more liquids. I don't know. I would say clam chowder England or Manhattan, New England, Manhattan, go fun itself.
No, I like a tomato bas.
Okay, are we just gonna roll past you like I did?
Because I just know that was probably something you ate with a spoon at one point in your life.
My brother tricked me one time instead of his ice cream when I was seven, okay, and I hate it, and it was it was on him because I loved it.
The best I've Because sometimes you want like a sour cream or like a cream cheese or something like a dip really badly, and they're always horrible for you, right, so you want like a lot and then you go, okay, so I'm gonna eat it with crackers, And then you go like I'm already doing the shameful thing of like I'm gonna eat the entire top.
Why do I add crackers? To it to justify it, when really I just want.
It, So I'll just get a spoon in there and like eat with a spoon like some cream cheese sometimes won No, I wouldn't, but a cream cheese.
I've I've been known to like eat it.
Cream spoon, the last bit of cream cheese. I'll go with my finger around and I don't even question it.
So it comes.
Like them.
I love that rim.
You get a whole scoopy rim.
True, but going right in the middle of a fresh cream is that's a disgusting Yeah.
With a finger especially, Yeah, Yeah, but yeah finger. There's so much you miss out of containers. Like on our girls chat Halla posted the other day, she was like, does anyone ever does anyone relate to this? You pull out a it was a jelly jar and it had just like nothing in it, just like the remnants of jelly that her husband put back into the refrigerator thinking that something could be had from it. I guess he, like, I thought he was just pulling the movie that I do, which is like I don't want to clean it right now. I'll just clean it later, but I'll refrigerate it until then, so it doesn't like smell bad in the recycling.
Okay, so do you guys ever do that? Do you like put a full an empty thing back in?
I feel like I'm never more optimistic than when I take there's like a little bit of peanut butter left in the jar. Yeah, I think that could cover an entire piece of bread, even though it's probably not even worthy of being put in.
The trash, right, Yeah, do you get frustrated when you see that? Or you someone that puts it in?
Well, here's the thing. I'm the other.
I'm somebody who puts it back in. This is like an actual recurring fight I had with my w That's what I found.
For everyone. It's someone One person is the put her in our and one person is the why did you put this back in there?
I'm just like I do think I could get a little bit more like jam, Like I know there's some there and I'm like, I'm not going to be disgusting and like, you know, shove it into my mouth. I'll wait and like knife it on something.
Yes, or you'll scrape the inside with the thing that you're eating.
Now here's where I become very guilty, and my wife is right, is I did this two days ago, and then yesterday when I was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I just took out the Yeah they direct eye contact.
Well, yeah, I know. I made a change in my life. I decided it's not worth the time to try to scrape out the fifteen cents worth of peanut butter from the jar. I am just throwing it away and getting a new one every single time. It's about time management. Can I say more thing about containers though? While we're on this subject, can people who make containers. I don't know if anyone any of the besties make containers, but can you stop putting the little lip that goes underneath the lip? You know how like the container is a certain width and then all of a sudden there's like a lip at the top of it.
It can ring.
It's like a little bit wider than the can on. No no, no, no, that's the a's the outside. I'm talking about the inside. And then everything gets stuck in that lip when you're trying to get it out.
Just make it the same, make it the same. Do you want you to buy it?
I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking I don't know what you I don't know what the reasoning is.
Yeah, I'm more like preach like I have nothing to add. Yeah, I'm just like you're right, get rid of that lip.
They're so I mean, like stop making shampoos and conditioners and like really structurally set, like the way you described Noah before, structurally sound robust that are like you can't squeeze, and so then they get stuck on the top and it's like you know what's in there and you can't even cut through them. Because I'll cut all my beauty products and like screep out the stuff because it's like eighty bucks for some of these things, and you're leaving water in it to get the rest of it out, shake it up.
Keep it in. The laziness is why I don't throw it away, like because I'll just put it in the fridge. The last bit I'll buy a new one, so I have like three, Like.
It's crazy because the laziness is such an eighty d thing.
Rachel Finestein and I were talking about this of like you just I think a part of add which I found that a lot of people just attribute qualities about themselves they don't like to add. Yeah, It's like everything that you don't like about yourself is just add but you just screw on tops like a little bit like or you don't screw on them on it all that is the thing I do all the time. Or you just like why is how hard is it to throw away something? But I'm stressed out by making trash, so if I hold onto it, it's a hoarding thing too.
I'm sure it's all part of the spectrum.
Of like hoarding, like if I and and I know I need to clean it in order to recycle it properly, but even recycling I know as a sham, and so I just feel guilty about the whole fucking thing.
So I just keep it in the refrigerator forever.
Yeah.
Amen. It almost feels like why do we do anything like truly, it's just this is how we already just start they is bad and die, Like I really like, I think this all. I thought it this morning. I'm like, there's just no point to getting up and doing a Monday is my.
Point about it.
I was listening to Tim Dylan's podcast, which, by the way, his new show that Brian Franzi is the showrunner up comes out yesterday.
It's out.
It's out baby on Netflix.
This is your country watching it and don't whatever you do, don't hit play and then stop it five minutes in. That is worse than not watching it.
Wow, okay, I'm going to start watching watch people's specials only four minutes.
Well yeah, if you want to hurt you not watching it, that's right.
You hit play, you go.
Oh, I guess the algorithm thinks I should like this, and then four minutes in you hit stop.
Then it goes WHOA wrong?
Because when I stop four minutes before or five minutes into something, yeah, it means I literally hate it, like I it's they they're right to think that, Like, yeah, that's when you turn it off. If you last more than five minutes, you love it. Yeah, six minutes it's like my favorite show.
Four or five minutes is I think about what I give a show?
Okay, I turn it off, commit to the whole episode, like just you.
Don't have to watch it. Just hit play and let it run.
That's what I always say, Yeah, hit play and let it run. But I was listening to Tim's podcast and he said, speaking of like why do we even get out of bed? He was like the he pointed out, the only people that get out of bed in the morning that are like charged up about life are the ones that are like wanting like to create war, like the war mess, like the gray suit, black eyed horrible people of the world. Are the only ones that wake up with like a purpose in the morning to like make more war. Let's start up, he goes, let's he just wants let's convince, let's get people riled up about a war in a place they've never been. He was like, let's let's make this war look like a new bakery.
Opening in down.
So it was so true because it's like so hard. The only people that are motivated are scumbags.
Truly, and this guy's not a scumbag. But does anyone follow Tony P and DC on Instagram? No, He's like a local newscaster who is basically honestly, if you follow him, follow him. It's the funniest thing. He posts his day every day and he is like a sim he is. He wakes up excited, he eats the same thing every day, he goes to work, he goes to like karaoke with friends that he's back and like. But it's just like he has the same expression on his face the entire time.
People love.
He's so interest He's like he's like a newscast, so he's like but it's just like he's just like he's always my Like he's not playing no, no, he's just boring.
But I love him expect that's why he stands out.
I love that's so the opposite of me that I'm like, this is the most interesting life.
Oh my god, when people here's the thing about And I think it's been pointed out a million times, but like oftentimes on girls Chat, we'll share some kind of video of like what was the one I shared the other day where it was a woman with her baby? Oh it was Oh, it was a woman like sitting in a nursery and she's like crying or something or she's upset and her baby comes in and be like, Mama, are you okay. I'm like to give you a hug, and it's so sweet. It's like the kid notices the mom's sad. It's like, I'll make you a sandwich, and she's like, I'm just a little sad right now. And it's like this bit set up a camera film herself crying, crying, waited for her kid to toddle in probably didn't get the shot right at first, it again, and it's like watch everything with that discerning eye of like why is this being?
Who's filming this? Yeah, I think we've got at first.
We there was an era where we did judge things about like why are people we you know, influencers in the wild, we like saw them. Let's re orient ourselves to judge every video you're seeing if someone how to set up a fucking camera to do it.
And that is why when I am at a concert.
And I am needing to get content of someone filming me at a concert, I can't stand when someone does this like Carl I was in the concert with me with Gracie at Abrams, and I'm like, hey, if you can, like get some footage of me singing and having a good time, but don't let me see that you're doing it, because if the audience thinks, I know you're filming for me at least, I'm just like that bitch like thinks she's cool and I'm not. And I don't want to be performative, Like there are times I've had to fake something to make it look like I don't know what's being filmed. But for the most part, I don't like to I don't like to post things where the audience knows that I know I'm being filmed. So it's like I was like, you can't do selfie because then it looks like I'm like singing to the camera. I love myself, Like it's so annoying. So I was like, just sneak it and then I'm just gonna do my thing and don't tell me when you're filming. And I think we've gotten away from that, Like people aren't ashamed.
You caught me once at the sphere. Yes, I was dancing to you two because I was just trying to figure out a way to enjoy any of this.
It's way funnier if people would have thought you knew you were being filmed.
That's a lame video, Yeah, lame, And that's what people say about all my videos.
No, that's not true.
But like, I just can't if you're doing something intentionally funny, I get it, But if you're trying to capture a real moment, can everyone just like makes them upfart to make it look But but what.
Was ironic about that moment is that it was me being fake. But you caught me doing a fake thing, so you were being fake for us. I was being fake for you too. I was like, let me, let me ironically dance and sing to this terrible youtwo song like the people around us.
But maybe I can o that's real. He's having a bad time.
Do you have Mike gez Oh, yeah, inside.
The well that was one of the Sphere Show. During the Spear Show, Bono sang a song.
Was no, it wasn't.
He was just talking in between songs about like Africa. He was not even I mean, he did a little bit. At one point he said he like applauded AI.
Yeah, he applauded AI. He thanked Jeff Bezos, and then he said we all need freedom, as if that was some profound statement.
Then he asked talking about looking for his keys. He was talking about how hotels are too expensive, which.
Vegas during the Super Bowl the hotel prices. Am I right? And then everyone was like, yeah, he is right, as if he ever paid for hotel his entire life.
Heah, I saw Pearl Jam and they were in the Bank of America whatever arena talking shit about Wall Street.
Meanwhile, well I did, but like it's the big of America doesn't own that. They're just paying for it.
Oh yeah, no, I think it's just I appreciate, like I do casinos a lot, and I have started to call out that, like this is a place built on people's addictions and families being destroyed, and it's really fun to do that in the beginning of it.
Why do people people who get up on the morning. The only other people that aren't trying to start war are people who are addicted.
Oh, I mean coffee. Yeah, I gotta say that coffee gets me up in the morning. Food gets me up in the morning. And that's about it. Like everything else is just like fuck and the dog. I mean, but yeah, getting up in the morning is.
Well, even like these people they go, oh, you can't drink coffee for the first ninety minutes because that's when you know, there's so many like you got to wait for your quartershole, your real quartersol Andrew Huberman.
I can't handle it.
I can't.
I can't.
Anytime he pops up, he has bad news for my life. Whatever he's telling me to do, I haven't been doing it, and there's no way I will. It's a very simple adjustment.
The thing where where now with AI, you can put in documents right, the exact documents you want to learn about, and then they make a fake podcast whoa going over those documents?
That's actually really helpful.
It is very helpful, But it's it's Andrew. It's gonna AI will take Andrew Hubert because he is AI. He just repeats when he reads books. But he has a great memory.
Yeah, and he can date seven women at the same time. Yeah, which the computers, that's the only other computers could do that.
But I had a friend, and.
It's when people can do that.
I am like, it was weird because I will hang out with him like four times a week and I would be with him and a different girl every time. And then like I'm like I couldn't remember all their names. I think I remember like April and Brittany, and that's it.
He was in like full fledged relationship.
Yes, and he like I'm not gonna name his name, but he definitely called it his bullpen.
Did you have the same bar he bring them all to or did he know taking them out?
But like he had they all had a day, but they didn't know about each other. And then like what would it even inevitably happen as they would find out about each other and then you just have to replace one.
This person on f Boy Wow Island, we saw Garrett from the Garrett.
Wow Cambricks House.
I don't know how I was.
Why were you at David Bricks?
I was in the trees?
Were what's the same, Johnny Beyond Beyond? Yeah you're with Johnny?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, David do Bricks pickleball contest for ten thousand dollars?
Whoa yeah, whoa?
Did you play?
They didn't let I thought I was playing. I definitely wore.
Yeah, I know. What did you do?
Were you at the place?
Did you feel one hundred years old? There? The only person I had like anything in common was was the one picking up the sandwich rappers.
That David bad?
Why absolutely why didn't they let you play?
Oh? Nona was there? So unfortunately?
Oh he's way older than you.
I hope.
All right, we got to go to break. We'll talk more up to this. Wait, so when did you go to David Doe Brooks three days ago?
Beautiful house of course, I mean where it's Sherman Oaks, of Sherman Oaks, I mean like he has his own pickleball court on a cliff. It's insane, was it?
It's did it used to be a tennis court and I've made it a pickle?
No, you would think, but no, no, it's actually just straight pickle.
And did you did you have fun?
I had a great time.
You did?
Yeah, good during a lot of Celsius And okay, what.
Did That's because I'm I'm guessing knowing you you had some anxiety going into this and Celsius cannot help.
And I'm not drinking right and you're not drinking.
So because to get ready for your wedding, get locked in.
Yeah, yeah, we're waiting to have a drink. I am the wedding.
Oh that would be so fun.
And we're having I can't wait to see that. Mango Rita is after our.
Cat, Mango ritas after your cat.
That is cute.
I love that and then embarrassing. No, that's sweet.
I like that. Okay, but so back to David Dobrick's house. So you but you had fun even though you had anxiety and Celsius I did.
I think what helps is it's outside and there's a game going on. So I'm used to sports, so I was rooting for we I ended up was on a team they lost, so we were like talking ship and then we became friends with There's a sandwich place called Jigata or whatever.
Yeah place, No, it's yeah, yeah, it's like the women kind of kind of. It's g G I A T A. They have one yeah, one.
Park.
It is the hot sandwich. Wow.
They're gonna love me for for bringing it up, now, okay. Yeah. They were the nicest guys ever, the two owners. So I ended up like becoming friends with them. They're from Jersey, and then I started rooting for them, so I forgot about every I just locked in on pickle.
Yes.
Sure, So I was able to deal with it because if I had to talk. So Garrett's there though, Garrett Garrett the f Boy.
So if you don't know Garrett Rosky, yeah, Garrett was on F Boys season one. He won Blonde Guy, Big Blonde Guy.
Yeah.
He won the show by convincing Sarah to fall in love with him and then give him control of the on hundred thousand dollars and then he dumped her minutes after he said he loved her, and then money away from him, and then we we took them in a cruel twist on the show that really no one was into, including me. We took the money from him and then donated it to like a charity SA which was I don't even know how he got away with that.
I don't.
Spray tnds for dogs or something.
It was uh it.
Yeah.
And so then Garrett came back season two and caused a stir. Then he was He's just a perfect villain and I love him so much.
He's even better in the wild. Was he is?
He coupled up right now.
He had a dog. He had a little like, you know, shits, and he just put it on his shoulder to get pussy, like it's everything he does is to get Yeah. So he just walks around with the dog and.
Say hi to him and yeah, didn't remember you.
He did, Oh that's nice.
And I was like, you know, I'm the guy from He's like, yeah, I know, And I still don't know he didn't know. There's no way we did.
Nice to see you, Nice to see you.
But I've heard so many nice to see yous.
And this town is insane with nice to see you, and I when someone says to me, I just go, oh, they don't know who I am.
It doesn't save you anything with me.
But that's good because literally it was like I can't remember who told me to do it, but it was like an older white guy and I always listened to them.
Yeah, and.
They were like, the most important thing is nice to see you.
It just you know, we talked about the podcast before, because if you say I nice to meet you, the person could say we've met before, and then you feel like an idiot. So nice to see you gets It's it could be the first time you're meeting them or I've seen you again, but it really isn't. It means I don't know if we've met before, you aren't important to me enough to remember, and I'm going to play it safe. And by the way, no one says nice to see you the first time they meet someone. I don't know what we're getting away with with that party. That's a weird thing to say to someone the first time you meet them.
So but yeah, filled with it.
I have a solution.
You just say hi, how are you yeah, instead of it nice to see you, nice to meet you.
I nice to see someone yesterday. I have to admit it. And I felt like it left a bad taste in it, like literally. I was like lah afterwards, because I was, oh, it's it's infiltrated me because I went to I got to go. My agent asked me if I wanted to go to the Chargers Chiefs game yesterday. And I got into town and I was supposed to get into town midday from Vegas. I was in Vegas this week and with Spade, and then I just changed the flight to fly in the morning, asked for an extra ticket because he gave me two.
I got three.
I brought my mom and dad and we were in the owner's box, which I didn't know we were in the owner's box. We walked into Chiefs gear. Oh god, but it's like where the Rams play too, so like it's not it can be any.
The owner of the stadium Chargers. Oh god.
I didn't realize Chargers.
Texted my agent right away and I was like because I go to my mom and go, oh, no what and she goes, oh, it's fine.
And then she finds out the owner's box.
Because she did, I go, I don't think we're supposed to because everyone's in Chargers gear. To be fair, I didn't know the Chargers were a team until ten am that morning. Like, I didn't know.
Taylor.
Their logo is a guy fiery tupe.
I don't like it.
I don't even understand, Like how what did you say.
How much Taylor Swift?
You think her being there was the reason why you changed up everything? Well, she wasn't there, I know, no, but you thinking that she was going to be there, No, I would have. I'm fully committed to Chiefs. I've bought like hundreds of dollars worth the Chief Scaar. I'm ready, like I'm gonna go to all the games that I can. And I also think it's I felt alarmed at first, and my mom found out was the owner's box and she goes, Nick, we're not supposed to be. And then another agent from Utah it was like a UTA box too that I don't even know if the owner was there, but it definitely was the owner's box. I mean, I have the bracelet.
I just took it off.
It says owners on it, and I was like, I didn't know, And so I texted my agent. I'm like, am I'm in Chief Scaar And he was like it's okay. You know Andrew, this other agent is in chief Scare and he was the only one other one in the bucks. And then there was another girl, Marissa, that showed up, but everyone else was in Chargers. But then before they showed up, I was feeling awkward about it. And then I like had to talk to myself and I was like, Nikki, this isn't this is a sport, Like it's sports.
Who gives a shit if you are wearing red?
And honestly, the only reason I'm wearing red is because my favorite person's dating one of the players. If nothing matters, I'm I was happy for the Chargers when they did well. I liked like, But the thing is, most of the people there were cheese fans.
The Chargers famously are very used to having the opposing teams fans in the stand. It was crazy they have no fans. The Chargers have more fans in Mexico than they do in America because they used to be a San Diego team and that's so close to the border. When the Chargers played a game in Mexico City, they had the most fans there that they've ever had at a stadium.
They should move to mex Latino day there too. They're really trying to hone in on that market.
I believe their.
Quarterback was Philip Rivers and in Mexico City they call them Felipe Rios.
It was there was a good vibe. I liked the Chargers fans, but there were more phone chargers in that crowd. I was like, they should change their logos have a phone charger because chargers are so important to everything. Yes, a little lightning doesn't really anything, But I think the Chiefs are also cultural now, like even if you don't follow football, you know about the chief It's so true.
Kind of America is like every decade has no no, no, every decade has like they're the enemy. Now.
The Chiefs are like the Patriots.
I know, well have to hate that they can't just.
Keep you can't watch like watch Court.
Even Chris is a little bit like doesn't really love the Chiefs because they mean that Saint Louis will never get a football team. And and there's another reason too. He's just like there're he only roots for teams that the city like needs it.
Yeah, I only root for teams that like completely suck and hurt my feelings. And like a team that win it and that's always winning is just like I don't understand it. I can't get on the word.
Yeah, I don't know well now because we all know why I'm on board. But I'm also like, after watching Quarterback on Netflix, I love Pat Mahomes so much. I think he's so funny. I think he's charismatic. I'm sure every quarterback has this because I even liked Kirk Cousins, who they covered on that.
Yeah, Cousins a great guy too.
If you give me a documentary about an athlete, I will fall in love with them.
Yeah.
Yeah, I can't wait for that one.
No, I'm actually a guy loves well.
Aaron Hernandas.
I do feel for because did you watch that show yet? No, I'm not really interested in Maybe I would be because I did love the docu drama about OJ Juice David Swimmer. I loved that, but I didn't. I was seeing the ad for the Hernandez one and I feel for that guy. I mean he was like closeted. Yeah, he couldn't come out. He hated himself.
His dad was a piece of shit who was like really hard on him, Like like I'm like I get it, you just got it now.
Murdered to hurt people, murder people.
Yeah, it's true, but so yeah, I just felt like it doesn't matter that I'm like ultimately, like I had to dismantle it and be like, is this a bad am? I a bad person because I'm in the owner box. It's like no, because if the owner's here, he's a billionaire who gives a ship. He'll get over me wearing a red shirt and his day.
There's a problem. But you were having box. I was also at a box yesterday.
We saw something in me and I threatened him, I remember, with a knife and he's like, dude, you're cool.
It was like, you're well, you can pick up wrappers in my box.
He don't really help Jason Nash anymore. I think maybe I can fill.
Avoid Whose box were you in?
I was in? Uh this guy? Uh he's a chief fan too. I didn't know and I should have been charge your gear?
Literally, Yeah.
Can I just say this experience like thank you to my agent, Nick Nusiphoro for reaching out to me and being like, do you want to go to this game? Because I was like sure, Oh that's great. Oh it'll be a box, love it. That'll be so fun to bring my parents to. Guys. He was like, I'm going to get you a vip escort too, and I was like okay, just like was like sure, I had the tailor swift treatment. Like it's very famous now to see her get on those golf carts, get out of the suva, get on the golf cart, kind of be paraded through the wings of the like it I got to do that. I was like dad filming because it was I entered exactly where she would enter at so far it was so cool. We went underground these like we had our car sniffed by dogs to go underground.
It was.
And then we were like lead in and we got to this box and the buffet. I don't know if you experience this.
I can't believe the food that was at this get we got. There was a sushi bar, there was rotisserie chicken, there was charcooterie, I mean any food. There was a candy wall of just every full sized candy you could even imagine It's pieces, but not Reese's cups.
Sorry, so not everyone that you can.
No, but the full size like full size full Sizeese's pieces, em Twizzlers.
I mean it was.
And there were hundreds of people that had access to this because there's a couple different owners boxes and then it would open up into this cafeteria setting. It was incredible. I I had the best time, and I kind of understood the game, yeah, which is fun, Like I knew what was kind of happening. But here's my new thing is that I have always felt so embarrassed to cheer for football because I don't know what's happening, and so I always kind of wait a couple seconds after everyone else is cheering to like really get on board. But now that I understand, I can like cheer when I know something's happening. But I'm still so like, uh nervous about cheering at the wrong time that I still wait, like even though I know what's going on. Like yesterday, I cheered because I got wrapped up in it, Like the Chiefs did something that I was excited about, and I was cheering, and then but then everyone was cheering, and I was like, oh, no, that must be the Chargers.
But then I realized that everyone there was.
It was half a man.
It was maybe probably more Chiefs fans.
Yeah, and the Chiefs weren't doing well at first, and so it was the first time the Chiefs, like and it was so loud that I thought it was Chargers and I got really really embarrassed, and then I realized that it was. But I don't know if you guys relate to anything like that where you don't know what you're doing and you have to like kind of fake it.
Yes, this is literally how I watched Frasier is when the audience will laugh, I would laugh like I think I get it.
I think I did that at Dmitri Martin.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he stops strong. I think there are people that don't know, like the people don't understand comedy and do have to the way I watch football and like kind of wait for.
I remember looking at the people and they would look tracks of studio audiences are so important for comedy.
They are fuckingial, don't no, You're so right. It's like and even here's another thing that you don't know you need an assistance on is lyrics. You think you'll know a song and you'll sing along with it, but you don't realize that you're kind of singing a millisecond after the words. Because the other day gen z m sent me a TikTok or she was like, we got to do this trend where I would sit and behind me, oh, like I'm not facing it. Are the lyrics to like a song like Espresso, you know Sabrina Carpenter And I'm like, I don't need the fucking lyrics. I can sing that. And she's like, you should do that where you sing the lyrics and you we see how well you do behind you. And I'm like, oh, I'm gonna ace. I go that's dumb because I would one hundred percent know it. And she was like, oh, we've got a confident girl on her hands, and I go. I was on a treadmill talking to her. I was like, I bet you anything, I can do it. So I pulled up an instrumental just on my phone and put my phone down to see if I could do it, and I bombed right away.
Wow.
Because also the lyrics to Espresso are so bizarre.
And like pull it up right Things of the night basically like.
They wrote it in like Japanese, translate the English, translated it to German, then translated back right.
They're insane.
It's it's bizarre. It's very Ai. Yes me Espresso is like the chorus is bizarre, Like you're so.
Right, what isn't that me? Espressoh like that means anything. Hit me Baby one more time. No one questioned that either, And that was a Swedish thing.
Yeah, that was just Max Marta. Max Martin, like is the sweetish genius. He created all these pop songs that don't mean anything.
He thought hit me I believe I could get this wrong, but he believed. He thought it meant like like call me up again.
Yeah, like hit me up.
And no one said, hey, this doesn't this isn't the We shouldn't have a young girl saying hit me baby one more time about a guy she's dating.
Yeah, yeah, and he just kept going jah job.
I do think like, if you're sweet, the less words you know in English, the better pop songwriter you're going to be, because it has to simplify the same with a lot of comics that English as their second language, I feel like, oh, they're good because they make everything so simple because they only know two hundred English words to pick from.
Oh right, right, like gad L M A.
L L.
Say his last l L.
Yeah, God, yeah he's the boy, Oh man, gad.
I have dad stories. I have gads and gods of stories, but I can't help but see the twin towers on your shirt.
I know I did. I didn't realize that we're on here until.
You take them off.
Yeah, sharp the sky you know, it's just nice to remember.
It was nice to remember.
It was a great part of the skyline.
What a skyline?
I mean, those were the days.
I didn't know what they were though until they went down because I was in a p English Yes, got a five on the exam.
Proud moment in my life.
But I was in a English when when it happened, and it was over the intercom and my teacher obviously was horrified and like, oh my god, and I just go, what are the what's the Twin Tower? What's the World Trade Center? And I just remember going, you don't know what the World Trade Center is? And like really shamed me.
That's what I remember for that day, being shamed about it.
It was really.
Never forgetting to jump. I went to high school where like you're on one first floor, thirty five percent of the students of my high school parents worked at the World Trade Center, so like everyone was on cell phones crying, but my parents didn't, so I was like.
Walking like yeah, like I yeah, yeah.
It was two thousand and one, and I remember my whole nine eleven as we ran the mile in the first period and then second period it happened and we all got to like go home because everyone was so connected to it. Yeah, and I remember this that I was just like, why could it have happened like forty five minutes early before them?
It sounds like a good time for the like, like I remember being really pleased with that.
Running the Sorry, what were you going to say?
No when you're swet any like you're sweaty after the mile and then you have to put on your school clothes and then you're sweaty under your clothes running the mile.
I think fifth grade I remember was the first mile. What about you guys like.
When yeah around then, Kid's a really for us at least it was a pivotal day when it was like the mile run to it, Yes, like it really And I still remember Matt Johnson got like a five twenty five.
Oh wow. There was always from kid that broke six.
Yeah that was shout out Matt Johnson. Yeah there like and then there was and then the poor kid who would get like twenty four, like you know, like the kid that would walk and everyone would like clap, yeah, oh that is like that's not fair to do to kids. If you want to sit out the mile, you should be able to. Here's my stance on gym. Kids should be able to sit at the fuck out because some of us are not coordinated. We don't like throwing, we don't like balls flying at us. We should be able to cheer on the sidelines and know our place, Like you should have autonomy as a child to know what you like and what you don't like and not be forced to do some thing you don't want to do.
Yes, and it's all. It's all Arnold Schwarzenegger's fault. It is his fault for starting that, like Presidential Fitness sports nigger started.
He started.
It was like the first sports person. Maybe it's George Bush. I'm gonna blame Arnold for this.
We have like the president's signature on it on it.
Yeah, we're like yeah, like.
I would always do really well on everything, but flexibility, Like when I had that board.
The board of all that board was horrible.
I hated and I hated Arnold Schwarzenegger because of it. Because we had to watch a video before we started the Presidential Fitness and he was like talking about how this is going to help you become like a muscle boy.
Remember we were all jumping rope for our heart, jump for heart like that was like a.
And I farted on on the second sit up and I got four sit ups because it's so hard, and.
I was it was like it was such a.
Loud part like it was. I think that should have been I should have been able to go again. I thought it was a very presidential.
All right, we'll be back.
Up for this. I was in Vegas this weekend, and I won't say who I was with, but I bought invited to like a private like gambling room for some high roll I guess, and i'll tell you off air, but I'm sure I could say it. But I don't really know this person well enough to know if they'd like but yeah, yeah, if they get it, I can just say, like, I'm sorry, I had to.
I feel like I get it really quick. Yeah you're in Vegas, Dana White. No, wow.
But I mean, here's the thing. This weekend, everyone was everyone sang.
Fast, it's not a woman, they're not a famous YouTuber. No, and they're more than forty yeah, okay.
More than forty.
They're alive.
Yeah, is there are they a singer, No, they live in Vegas?
Or an actor? No, not really a magician?
No?
Link with sports? No, uh, play the lead role in a movie.
No a jabb awakee, I'm just named it.
They run for president? No on a popular TV show?
No?
Is it a pop singer?
No. Citizen of the US. Yes. Do they own a company?
Yeah?
A man or woman?
Do we do that it's a man? Right?
Yeah?
Okay.
Are they associated with technology?
No?
Link with food? No? Are they white?
Yes?
Are they linked with cinema? No? The fuck they talk about the government? Are they linked with advertising? Are they Are they boss of an important company?
I mean I would say yes, but like I don't know that the achnator knows that yet.
Okay?
Have they published books? What is this person done? Are they famous thanks to television?
Yeah?
Okay. Are they from Nickelodeon? No? No? Do they wear a suit? No they do they appear in the first season of a show? No?
Well no, no, no, I would say no.
Associated with comedy yes, okay. Are they a stand up comedian?
Yes?
Okay, wait when it says it, will you just show it to me?
Do they live in Texas?
No?
How many questions do we are we at now?
Is it almost Are they chubby? No?
Do you think I think?
I know?
Okay, it's guessing.
No, it's not the on.
He is the CEO of.
Twice podcast. Okay, so does it start with a K?
No? Do they have a podcast?
So final thought, Uh, this person, uh never let me down. But this person was with their friends that were the really this person was a high roller, but this person was with people that were So I'm sitting at this table and are you playing?
No, I'm just like there to hang.
What's the stakes?
I'm gonna tell you.
So, I'm like they're playing back rat okay, And there's also like a blackjack table for like a little bit lower bets for people. Like there's probably like five of us in the room and I'm just sitting there hanging with my friend and then he has two friends and his two friends. I'm just looking at like I'm kind of like looking at their chips, but I'm not like paying attention. And then I would say, twenty minutes in, I'm like, I should look at the amounts of these chips because it's like maybe shows some interest in the game.
The lowest what do you think the lowest.
Chip was.
One thousand dollars, one thousand.
Dollars with the lest ship. And then I look over and I see four giant stacks of a color of chip. My god, and that ship.
I couldn't believe.
I had to like cover one of my eyes because I'm bioptic because of lasac to see. I thought it was a twenty five.
I'm bioptic.
I had one.
I had one of my eyes lasick, so it means one of my eyes sees close up, one of my eyes is far away, and together they join and I can do both.
That's pretty awesome. Look into it. If you want to do lasik, just get one eye done lasik plus.
So I like literally was just like covering one eye so I couldee because I thought's a twenty five hundred dollars and it was twenty five thousand dollar chips yea.
And four giant stacks. And then I'm trying to have conversation, but also.
One okay, then three three three, that's nine, that one's ten, That one's a million dollars. Was sitting in it and I watched someone when I wear someone win one point two million dollars up one point two then go down to point eight. We walked out because it was done. And we walked out, and the guy that just one one point it was a little or point eight, was a little bummed. But I didn't know what had happened. I only know this afterwards, and I asked my friend. I was like, and he went to go cash out the guy that won, and I asked my friend, I was like, what, like, is did he just lose like a lot?
Like what happened?
He goes, oh, no, he's up point eight. And I go, why is he like bombed? He's like, oh, because he was up one point two. And I'm like that that just was funny to me. Then he came back and he was a little and he had one hundred thousand dollars in his stomach and his sweater zipped up a check for four hundred thousand, and then his buddy ran up two hundred thousand and put it in the safe upstairs, like ran past us to like fucking run, and then he took that one hundred to go to another casino at three in the morning, at this point two in the morning, to go to.
Another casido to spend it.
But his the guy was just kind of like man god damn it, you know, kind of a little bit bombed, like the way we would be a few twenty bucks on a slot and uh and I go, but you but you're up zero point eight and he was like yeah. And I was like, he goes, but it could have been. And I go, that money was never yours and he goes, oh, we need her around more of like it. I was like, it wasn't yours. It was just that was just it was in the air for a second, but it was it was never yours. And he was like that really, And I feel like I did help him.
He was really really nice.
Then they gave those two buddies gave me a ride back to my hotel and I and I just I got in the car and oh. I even turned to my friend while I'm watching my friend play, and I just was like, what's it like to be that rich?
I was like, what is that?
Because I know you, and I know there was a time eight years ago where a hundred dollars chip would have been and you're just throwing thousands out like nothing, like literally they're putting them in front of me like you did. And I was like, get this away from me, and he was like, it's it's pretty crazy. But then these guys, I go, were you guys born rich? And they were like, oh god no, I go, can you can you believe what just happened tonight? Like I feel like these we need of like a like to check in with themselves that you just won point eight million dollars. Yeah, it's crazy, like.
More money than most people will make it a life.
You're like, yeah, it's wild, and I just it's just why they make them chips, because the chips, you just it just five thousand dollars chip. I'm just like that chip could change so many people's lives, that just little piece of plastic.
Yeah. There's a famous story about Charles Barclay. He lost two million dollars once playing at the wind Like lost two million, and then an interview they were asking what was that Like He's like, everyone focuses on the fact that I lost two million. I was up six million to start the night. I thought that was so healthy of him to view it that way. Yeah, I all just have fun.
I'll make more money, yes, And that's the kind of the These guys didn't seem to have like addictions, like they weren't for them it wasn't that much money.
Yeah, once you have that much money, it really is just fun. I mean you can't really, but how.
Can people be waiting on them? You know, like there's there's a guy running the table, there's a guy dealing the cards. Like those people they're just how do they not I know?
Well, yeah, the casino if you if you're a high roller, then the casino will just put staff members around you.
Do you want to staff?
Like, like, everyone just seems so normal about it, and I was like, this isn't normal. I need to bring you all back to reality for a second. They know it.
Fucking rules to be working the high roller room because you're getting taking one of those chips. You exactly, you're getting tipped better than any other table. Like you're getting tipped like you're like, people have too much five months pay.
Point, Well, there should be a limit. It should be one hundred million dollars tops is how much money you can have and then the rest needs to be given back.
Too much money. Even we don't one hundred million, let's make it twenty million.
And that one hundred million, you do want to have generational wealth that you can put into a trust for three to five generations.
You can put three million into a trust for your kids and it will be they'll be a Okay.
We're still going to have terrible papers.
But one hundred million, one hundred million dollars is not a lot of money compared to what people have now.
People have imrillion, brillion dollar, twenty million every that's the most.
That's well, that that's I think that the incentivizes capitalism. If it's only twenty million.
Okay, one hundred million, yeah, is a goal that most people cannot achieve and can still climb that mountain.
Yeah, okay, that's a good idea.
Yeah, it was.
It's what have you guys ever seen that much money?
Like I've never seen Like, you know, John Lady has a bit about like one hundred million dollars cash.
I would stand.
I would wait online, I paid money, I pay money to see that much have my money added and for an extra dollar, you can have your money added to the million dollars.
I I just have never seen that much money.
No, I mean I would. I would probably faint see it, like it was excited at the realization of twenty five like four stacks of that because like I've seen people with like five hundred like a whole like big thing, and I'm like, so doing five times that, Like.
It was just I remember doing it. I was addicted to blackjack, and it's something else when you're playing for your rent money, you know, that's a really that's not that is exciting, whether you're going to eat or not. Oh yeah, yeah, I mean were you addicted like in the casino? Yeah, it's bad young college. Like in college, you go to the casino and you just call his aunt to have her call my step mom like please don't tell daddy, you know, stuff like that, and then they don't give you two hundred dollars because my limit on my ATM machine. And then I'd wait until midnight just around the quarter on Bourbon Street, just walking around like like, oh wait.
Were you doing, like the the one in the casiras, Yeah, harras where they have like quarter craps there.
It is like the most depressing place I've Yeah, I called it home for a while. Yeah, it was like, yeah, you walk by, it is a sad.
I literally was playing there at one time and I saw a homeless guy just empty change, and how I.
Gave him Jim.
Oh no, we are at the same place in our lives right now.
Oh my god.
Yeah, I made up money was yours?
Yeah, all right, that's our show. Andrew, thank you for being here, Soan, thank you for being here.
Brian, Noah's in studio. We'll have a show for you tomorrow, same group of people.
We're going to record a.
Rapter this but it'll feel new to you tomorrow. We'll see you then. Don't be go bye.
The Nicki Glazer Podcast is.
A production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created and hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie, Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton, and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nicki Glazer Podcast on YouTube, follow at Nicki Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel.
