The Nicky Glizer Podcast.

The Nicky Glizer Podcast.

Glaser pos.

Glaser pos.

Here's Nikki.

Here's Nikki.

Hello here, I am welcome to the show.

Hello here, I am welcome to the show.

It's Nicki Glazer Podcast. This is our second one of the week. Yeah it is. We might have something special. Did anything that was my favorite thing that I did on f Boy Island that I don't even know if it aired, and I've talked about it here before, I think, but it was like tonight you will face elimination and we want to know who is going to this that like I would just turn it. I would like morph into that voice of like ahay all and people will be like, what is she even saying? It was so fun And I love doing that voice because it gets you out of actually having to write a joke because you just say jibberish and the jokes.

It's Nicki Glazer Podcast. This is our second one of the week. Yeah it is. We might have something special. Did anything that was my favorite thing that I did on f Boy Island that I don't even know if it aired, and I've talked about it here before, I think, but it was like tonight you will face elimination and we want to know who is going to this that like I would just turn it. I would like morph into that voice of like ahay all and people will be like, what is she even saying? It was so fun And I love doing that voice because it gets you out of actually having to write a joke because you just say jibberish and the jokes.

It's a satire of the art for.

It's a satire of the art for.

Sad.

Sad.

What it's saying is nothing that I say.

What it's saying is nothing that I say.

It matters, yes, And I mean sometimes with comedy though, like you can just make a funny noise or funny face and the joke doesn't have to be funny literally at all. But if you say it like and I under like, people are like, oh my god. Like sometimes I'll do that with a joke. To just give it some crutches to get across the street before it is ready to run on its own, because it's not funny yet.

It matters, yes, And I mean sometimes with comedy though, like you can just make a funny noise or funny face and the joke doesn't have to be funny literally at all. But if you say it like and I under like, people are like, oh my god. Like sometimes I'll do that with a joke. To just give it some crutches to get across the street before it is ready to run on its own, because it's not funny yet.

That works for a time, and then if you don't back it up with actual material, you wind up getting backlash.

That works for a time, and then if you don't back it up with actual material, you wind up getting backlash.

Or you can only do it once too.

Or you can only do it once too.

You can't get that voice multiple times, and then people catch on and then they start making fun of you.

You can't get that voice multiple times, and then people catch on and then they start making fun of you.

Imagine your whole set was like that.

Imagine your whole set was like that.

What were you gonna say about that voice?

What were you gonna say about that voice?

Sorry?

Sorry?

Well, like I just remember that Dane Cook got flack for that in two thousand and four or whatever because he would just it wasn't really voices, he would say just words.

Well, like I just remember that Dane Cook got flack for that in two thousand and four or whatever because he would just it wasn't really voices, he would say just words.

Strange just came up with a yeah.

Strange just came up with a yeah.

They they decided that, oh, here is Dane Cook's trick.

They they decided that, oh, here is Dane Cook's trick.

Now we're going to reveal it.

Now we're going to reveal it.

And so you're not gonna be amazed by David Copperfield anymore. Like here's how this guy is making you laugh. And guess what. Everyone has a fucking trick for every joke. And it was hilarious the way he said things. And yeah, sometimes you the tool gets old and people grow accustomed to it and you got to get a new one.

And so you're not gonna be amazed by David Copperfield anymore. Like here's how this guy is making you laugh. And guess what. Everyone has a fucking trick for every joke. And it was hilarious the way he said things. And yeah, sometimes you the tool gets old and people grow accustomed to it and you got to get a new one.

But that when it was working, that was a Dane Cook's way.

But that when it was working, that was a Dane Cook's way.

Of like, what's an example of it, Brian, I'm I'll definitely butcher it.

Of like, what's an example of it, Brian, I'm I'll definitely butcher it.

I can't think of a specific one. But he has this kool Aid joke where the guy where the kool Aid Man bursts through.

I can't think of a specific one. But he has this kool Aid joke where the guy where the kool Aid Man bursts through.

That's hilarious because of that's because he's just saying the cooyman comes in and like destroys a person's house.

That's hilarious because of that's because he's just saying the cooyman comes in and like destroys a person's house.

Yeah, and then he leaves an explain to my mom that there's a hole. They're gonna believe that a giant fruit punch man burst through the wall.

Yeah, and then he leaves an explain to my mom that there's a hole. They're gonna believe that a giant fruit punch man burst through the wall.

And the Family Guy did a thing like where they did the cartoon of it where the he bursts in. I just have a memory of him like kind of easing back out of the whole. Sorry, I kind of freaked out. I'm embarrassed.

And the Family Guy did a thing like where they did the cartoon of it where the he bursts in. I just have a memory of him like kind of easing back out of the whole. Sorry, I kind of freaked out. I'm embarrassed.

That's the thing about Family Guy and uh curse Seth MacFarlane for doing this. But Family Guy has done every joke that The Simpsons hasn't.

That's the thing about Family Guy and uh curse Seth MacFarlane for doing this. But Family Guy has done every joke that The Simpsons hasn't.

Done so and done everything.

Done so and done everything.

Yeah, if you combine those two shows, there's no jokes left.

Yeah, if you combine those two shows, there's no jokes left.

Great, you know what, Great, I don't care you know what if we if you find it's like I was reading an article because I'm trying to be smarter about Like last night, I just really wanted to read about you know, j Loo and Bann or whatever, but instead I was like, there was something that piqued my interest about a paleontologist, like how paleontologists are guys that dig up dinosaur bones and women are generally like kind of sociopaths.

Great, you know what, Great, I don't care you know what if we if you find it's like I was reading an article because I'm trying to be smarter about Like last night, I just really wanted to read about you know, j Loo and Bann or whatever, but instead I was like, there was something that piqued my interest about a paleontologist, like how paleontologists are guys that dig up dinosaur bones and women are generally like kind of sociopaths.

Wait a minute, like they dig up women or dinosaur bones.

Wait a minute, like they dig up women or dinosaur bones.

Women's dinosaur women dinosaur bones only.

Women's dinosaur women dinosaur bones only.

Yes they can.

Yes they can.

They have smaller brains, yes, high heels and they have bunions from high heels. Yeah, So they're notoriously like kind of crazy people and they're really good. Yeah. Well, I mean I know it's but it doesn't sound like to me. I would just be like, oh, that's a really measured scientist who's very meticulous and takes a lot of time with their work. I'm also reading about rock climbers. I'm reading this book that a bestie recommended called The Color of Everything, and it's about a guy who is a photojournalist that covered the world of climbing. I forget his name. I'm such a piece of shit. No, will you look it up? This guy. It's called The Color of Everything. It's a really popular book and I'm loving it. So to the bestie who wrote to Anya about Corey Richards book, Corey Richards, Yeah, he's like this hot dude that was like a rock climber and then also was in like rehab when he was like a runaway kid and he had all He writes, he's a frost name life, but he's they are nuts, but so are paleontologists. So I got halfway through this New Yorker article, which I really recommend.

They have smaller brains, yes, high heels and they have bunions from high heels. Yeah, So they're notoriously like kind of crazy people and they're really good. Yeah. Well, I mean I know it's but it doesn't sound like to me. I would just be like, oh, that's a really measured scientist who's very meticulous and takes a lot of time with their work. I'm also reading about rock climbers. I'm reading this book that a bestie recommended called The Color of Everything, and it's about a guy who is a photojournalist that covered the world of climbing. I forget his name. I'm such a piece of shit. No, will you look it up? This guy. It's called The Color of Everything. It's a really popular book and I'm loving it. So to the bestie who wrote to Anya about Corey Richards book, Corey Richards, Yeah, he's like this hot dude that was like a rock climber and then also was in like rehab when he was like a runaway kid and he had all He writes, he's a frost name life, but he's they are nuts, but so are paleontologists. So I got halfway through this New Yorker article, which I really recommend.

It's from like it's from a long time ago.

It's from like it's from a long time ago.

But I was on a subreddit about this paleontologist feud that's happening. There's a New York Maga article about this guy and another girl, uh, who are excavating this site that might be a snapshot of when the asteroid hit the Earth and destroyed all the dinosaurs, like whenever you know it hit in the Yucatan Peninsula, but it's up in Montana, I think, I believe. And he found this site and he was like an amateur paleontologist, like he worked for the University of Kansas as like an he was like in grad school there and he didn't have he wasn't even like he was just on this dig he found this this property that this guy had, and he sees all these fish are like in this one sediment of layer, the sediment of the earth, you know, like a thin layer that was around where that thing would have hit. And he goes in and he looks at these crystals that are but like the fish just look like they're in regular gravel or silt or whatever is deposited there. Generally during that time that all the paleontologists are like, yawn, we're used to this. But then he looks at under the microscope and he's like, these are crystals that are the result of an asteroid falling and then shooting like a volcanic spewing lava into the air, and then it's falling back to Earth, it crystallizes and it shed this crystal all over the place. But this article that was linked in the subreddit, So anyway, the New York Magazine article came out yesterday. I was reading the comments of that on the Instagram. People were talking about the article itself, and someone said, actually, the best article about this same guy who's in this feud with this woman over this land. It's an interesting I haven't read the magazine one. But in the comments, this woman said. This guy was also featured in a New Yorker magazine article called The Year the World Died. And so I go to my New Yorker app, but I'm like, I want to read that, Like that just sounds interesting. The Year the World Died all about this when the asteroid hit, which they only found in nineteen ninety one. They found the spot where the asteroid that destroyed dinosaurs on Earth and brought about the ice age. They found it in the Yucatan Peninsula only in nineteen ninety one.

But I was on a subreddit about this paleontologist feud that's happening. There's a New York Maga article about this guy and another girl, uh, who are excavating this site that might be a snapshot of when the asteroid hit the Earth and destroyed all the dinosaurs, like whenever you know it hit in the Yucatan Peninsula, but it's up in Montana, I think, I believe. And he found this site and he was like an amateur paleontologist, like he worked for the University of Kansas as like an he was like in grad school there and he didn't have he wasn't even like he was just on this dig he found this this property that this guy had, and he sees all these fish are like in this one sediment of layer, the sediment of the earth, you know, like a thin layer that was around where that thing would have hit. And he goes in and he looks at these crystals that are but like the fish just look like they're in regular gravel or silt or whatever is deposited there. Generally during that time that all the paleontologists are like, yawn, we're used to this. But then he looks at under the microscope and he's like, these are crystals that are the result of an asteroid falling and then shooting like a volcanic spewing lava into the air, and then it's falling back to Earth, it crystallizes and it shed this crystal all over the place. But this article that was linked in the subreddit, So anyway, the New York Magazine article came out yesterday. I was reading the comments of that on the Instagram. People were talking about the article itself, and someone said, actually, the best article about this same guy who's in this feud with this woman over this land. It's an interesting I haven't read the magazine one. But in the comments, this woman said. This guy was also featured in a New Yorker magazine article called The Year the World Died. And so I go to my New Yorker app, but I'm like, I want to read that, Like that just sounds interesting. The Year the World Died all about this when the asteroid hit, which they only found in nineteen ninety one. They found the spot where the asteroid that destroyed dinosaurs on Earth and brought about the ice age. They found it in the Yucatan Peninsula only in nineteen ninety one.

So, and if you're Christian, disregard all of this.

So, and if you're Christian, disregard all of this.

Just go ahead, because these are so God planted all these mysteries for us to solve and to question, to test our faith. So in nineteen onety one they discover this asteroid that tested our faith in Jesus. But anyway, so this guy, you you read this New york Er it's it says that it gives you the option for it to be read to you. I don't know if you guys have those on your Oh I never do that, but I always know how long it's going to take me. Now, because it said sixty three minutes, I go to read a wow, I go, how long is it? So I scroll and I go, I think I can probably do this in about thirty five. Like I'm a pretty fast reader, I have to say, But I really am. And I am a fast reader because I've like showed Chris things and we both looked at the same paragraph and he is very well read, like extremely smart, and he's a more measured person. But I get through it and I got to say half the time. And it's not because he's like, it's not that hard to read fast. It's hard to absorb what yours. It's not bad. I actually got a app on my phone called Elevate that I did a seven day free trial for and it was I was having a lot of fun with it, and I was like, oh my god, I'm learning new vocabulary. It was marketed to me as learning new vocabulary. Are you sick of sounding stupid? Like It's one of my biggest pet peeves about myself is I can't find interesting words when I want to go yeah. And I listened to Sam Harris or even Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang like on their podcast they are constantly using really just grate vocabulary that isn't like pretentious, but it definitely elevates the conversation and makes what they're saying more interesting because I they're just putting you know. That's that's what's good about using different words is it will give more meaning to the word you're trying to say it like Pepper's it with seasons, it with other feelings that you have. So sad, you could say another word that I can't think of, Like, so this was the app.

Just go ahead, because these are so God planted all these mysteries for us to solve and to question, to test our faith. So in nineteen onety one they discover this asteroid that tested our faith in Jesus. But anyway, so this guy, you you read this New york Er it's it says that it gives you the option for it to be read to you. I don't know if you guys have those on your Oh I never do that, but I always know how long it's going to take me. Now, because it said sixty three minutes, I go to read a wow, I go, how long is it? So I scroll and I go, I think I can probably do this in about thirty five. Like I'm a pretty fast reader, I have to say, But I really am. And I am a fast reader because I've like showed Chris things and we both looked at the same paragraph and he is very well read, like extremely smart, and he's a more measured person. But I get through it and I got to say half the time. And it's not because he's like, it's not that hard to read fast. It's hard to absorb what yours. It's not bad. I actually got a app on my phone called Elevate that I did a seven day free trial for and it was I was having a lot of fun with it, and I was like, oh my god, I'm learning new vocabulary. It was marketed to me as learning new vocabulary. Are you sick of sounding stupid? Like It's one of my biggest pet peeves about myself is I can't find interesting words when I want to go yeah. And I listened to Sam Harris or even Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang like on their podcast they are constantly using really just grate vocabulary that isn't like pretentious, but it definitely elevates the conversation and makes what they're saying more interesting because I they're just putting you know. That's that's what's good about using different words is it will give more meaning to the word you're trying to say it like Pepper's it with seasons, it with other feelings that you have. So sad, you could say another word that I can't think of, Like, so this was the app.

It was just like sad.

It was just like sad.

And then it was like type tip type of syn in them and you have to You're like Maria can think, oh my god, they would have loved morose. They would have given and you like a triple score for that because they would have all the synonyms listed and they go, oh easy one and they give you one star, you know, a two star whatever kind of stamp. But then it started give me repeat ones within two games, like the same words, and I'm like, I can cheat now, like I know you want the same ras or insidious or whatever.

And then it was like type tip type of syn in them and you have to You're like Maria can think, oh my god, they would have loved morose. They would have given and you like a triple score for that because they would have all the synonyms listed and they go, oh easy one and they give you one star, you know, a two star whatever kind of stamp. But then it started give me repeat ones within two games, like the same words, and I'm like, I can cheat now, like I know you want the same ras or insidious or whatever.

They don't have enough of a database, yeah.

They don't have enough of a database, yeah.

And they need more of one.

And they need more of one.

So I canceled it because I was gonna I was gonna let it fly and spend forty dollars a year for this because I was like, this is going to be my brain training thing because I felt it working. It felt like the kind of improv game you were talking about, Brian that like gets your mind, just like Bag of Fun. It was like Bag of Fun, but for specific words that you need to express.

So I canceled it because I was gonna I was gonna let it fly and spend forty dollars a year for this because I was like, this is going to be my brain training thing because I felt it working. It felt like the kind of improv game you were talking about, Brian that like gets your mind, just like Bag of Fun. It was like Bag of Fun, but for specific words that you need to express.

Oh my god, I kind of want to try this because that's my my Yeah. I mean, it's the bane of my existence is not being able to recall words, and it strikes me with fear every time I can do it, because I think my brain is starting to decay.

Oh my god, I kind of want to try this because that's my my Yeah. I mean, it's the bane of my existence is not being able to recall words, and it strikes me with fear every time I can do it, because I think my brain is starting to decay.

Wait, you think it's getting worse. Decay is a really good word, by the way, Do you think it's getting worse or do you have you always felt this way? Because I will say that I think mine is also getting worse. But I also think that because I'm consuming people that I really admire who I know are within my same intelligence. Not Sam Harris and possibly not Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. They're so intelligent, but I feel like they are at least like I can reach what I want to do what they are doing, and I know I could reach it. I just know, and I aspire to that. So I'm kind of like down on myself a lot about it. Is it something you found that you have always wanted to do or is it slipping away now?

Wait, you think it's getting worse. Decay is a really good word, by the way, Do you think it's getting worse or do you have you always felt this way? Because I will say that I think mine is also getting worse. But I also think that because I'm consuming people that I really admire who I know are within my same intelligence. Not Sam Harris and possibly not Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. They're so intelligent, but I feel like they are at least like I can reach what I want to do what they are doing, and I know I could reach it. I just know, and I aspire to that. So I'm kind of like down on myself a lot about it. Is it something you found that you have always wanted to do or is it slipping away now?

Well? No, it's I feel like it's it's related to stress. Like the more stressed I am, the worse my recall is.

Well? No, it's I feel like it's it's related to stress. Like the more stressed I am, the worse my recall is.

Oh yeah, I mean the more stress you are, the more everything sucks.

Oh yeah, I mean the more stress you are, the more everything sucks.

No, everything sucks? Yeah?

No, everything sucks? Yeah?

Does anything get better from stress? Um, your cortisol level is like fu, yeah, we're killing Well, if you want to die soon.

Does anything get better from stress? Um, your cortisol level is like fu, yeah, we're killing Well, if you want to die soon.

Sure, yeah, okay, suicide if.

Sure, yeah, okay, suicide if.

You want, If you need to get something done really quickly by a deadline, stress can be helpful. A small amount of stress is helpful. It's just wanting to evade an accumulates over time and becomes chronic. Then it becomes a huge detriment to every part of your life.

You want, If you need to get something done really quickly by a deadline, stress can be helpful. A small amount of stress is helpful. It's just wanting to evade an accumulates over time and becomes chronic. Then it becomes a huge detriment to every part of your life.

Dude, I was thinking about it, and I know this is so simple and been said a million times, but like, and maybe I said it on the podcast before because I've told a couple of people this, but just having the realization of, like, why when things are totally smooth do I freak out? It's because we were never supposed to just be calm.

Dude, I was thinking about it, and I know this is so simple and been said a million times, but like, and maybe I said it on the podcast before because I've told a couple of people this, but just having the realization of, like, why when things are totally smooth do I freak out? It's because we were never supposed to just be calm.

When we were like animals.

When we were like animals.

There was there's not a single You're not ever supposed to really feel safe unless you're like, you know, hibernating or especially us. We was always if there was ever like a time where you felt like I have everything I want, there was never that time because there was always food to be searched for. There was always hunger just around the corner. There was always something you should be doing. Honestly, it felt like working at a Latin cafe in college. He would always like, you should never have a break. You could always be doing something, and I'm like, that's that was that And I was like, but I don't want to wash the menus or what you know what I mean, but there's always stuff to be doing when you're an animal, and when we have like time to like just relax, like that isn't built into our DNA yet, I mean, but.

There was there's not a single You're not ever supposed to really feel safe unless you're like, you know, hibernating or especially us. We was always if there was ever like a time where you felt like I have everything I want, there was never that time because there was always food to be searched for. There was always hunger just around the corner. There was always something you should be doing. Honestly, it felt like working at a Latin cafe in college. He would always like, you should never have a break. You could always be doing something, and I'm like, that's that was that And I was like, but I don't want to wash the menus or what you know what I mean, but there's always stuff to be doing when you're an animal, and when we have like time to like just relax, like that isn't built into our DNA yet, I mean, but.

It's definitely killing that stuff with useless like scrolling on our phones and things like that.

It's definitely killing that stuff with useless like scrolling on our phones and things like that.

Well, your brain wants to do something. It's panicking that you are. If you're lazy, you are gonna fucking die because the winter's coming. I mean, it's it's no wonder kid.

Well, your brain wants to do something. It's panicking that you are. If you're lazy, you are gonna fucking die because the winter's coming. I mean, it's it's no wonder kid.

And then that takes up all your time and then you don't have any like you don't have any.

And then that takes up all your time and then you don't have any like you don't have any.

Well, yeah, having a kid is also that biological urge that that comes in. Noah, what were you gonna say?

Well, yeah, having a kid is also that biological urge that that comes in. Noah, what were you gonna say?

I was gonna say, it's also a way to appreciate the privileges that we have that people like hundreds of thousands of years ago didn't have.

I was gonna say, it's also a way to appreciate the privileges that we have that people like hundreds of thousands of years ago didn't have.

Yeah, oh my god.

Yeah, oh my god.

And at the same at the same time, I was going to say, we have a lot of cottontail rabbits around here, and whenever I look at them out the window, you just see this rabbit just like constantly just going like is there anyone here? And like you could actually see its heart just like yeah, pumping, even when he's sitting still in the in the ground.

And at the same at the same time, I was going to say, we have a lot of cottontail rabbits around here, and whenever I look at them out the window, you just see this rabbit just like constantly just going like is there anyone here? And like you could actually see its heart just like yeah, pumping, even when he's sitting still in the in the ground.

On goodness like that. Yeah, yeah, some of us are, though we know people like that, right. And Chris, sometimes when the dog sleeps in our bed, he will have a bad night's sleep because the dog will be on him and he doesn't want to move because he doesn't want the So Chris will have like a bed sore because he doesn't want to disturb this dog.

On goodness like that. Yeah, yeah, some of us are, though we know people like that, right. And Chris, sometimes when the dog sleeps in our bed, he will have a bad night's sleep because the dog will be on him and he doesn't want to move because he doesn't want the So Chris will have like a bed sore because he doesn't want to disturb this dog.

And he had a bad night's sleep the other night.

And he had a bad night's sleep the other night.

And I said to Chris, I go you. You can't do this to yourself. He's like, I know, and I go listen to me. Listen to me. These dogs. Have you seen our dog. She can be deep in sleep her like she's running in her sleep, having a dream, deep in ram her eyes are going wild, and then a slight set the door. She'll hear something out in the door, and then she'll get up and like run to the door and then go back over and get right back into that sleep. That is the that's the thing. Animals don't suffer. When they can get rest, they get it quickly. They don't need to like listen to a meditation app like dogs can. So they as much as they are like skittish, I think that when there is rest to be had, they can absolutely grab it in that moment. They don't need to like met Kate or you know, find melotonin. And in nature, you.

And I said to Chris, I go you. You can't do this to yourself. He's like, I know, and I go listen to me. Listen to me. These dogs. Have you seen our dog. She can be deep in sleep her like she's running in her sleep, having a dream, deep in ram her eyes are going wild, and then a slight set the door. She'll hear something out in the door, and then she'll get up and like run to the door and then go back over and get right back into that sleep. That is the that's the thing. Animals don't suffer. When they can get rest, they get it quickly. They don't need to like listen to a meditation app like dogs can. So they as much as they are like skittish, I think that when there is rest to be had, they can absolutely grab it in that moment. They don't need to like met Kate or you know, find melotonin. And in nature, you.

Can over coddle yourself with these corrective tools to you know, go to sleep or to make yourself feel more comfortable. And you wind up just becoming soft and weak, and you just require you become soft.

Can over coddle yourself with these corrective tools to you know, go to sleep or to make yourself feel more comfortable. And you wind up just becoming soft and weak, and you just require you become soft.

And we no, you're right. You require too many things.

And we no, you're right. You require too many things.

You're just like all of a sudden, you need all of these things just to feel normal.

You're just like all of a sudden, you need all of these things just to feel normal.

No, I need a cold room. It has been so hot in Saint Louis that my cold room that I don't even want to leave this apartment building because of how cold I can get the fucking room. I mean my ideal temperature if I could pick one to sleep with at night. And I'm not joking. We had this conversation over the weekend. Fifty eight degrees would be my deal. Now it does not get down to that in my room, obviously, U sixty two is what I set the thing for, and it will get down to sixty two.

No, I need a cold room. It has been so hot in Saint Louis that my cold room that I don't even want to leave this apartment building because of how cold I can get the fucking room. I mean my ideal temperature if I could pick one to sleep with at night. And I'm not joking. We had this conversation over the weekend. Fifty eight degrees would be my deal. Now it does not get down to that in my room, obviously, U sixty two is what I set the thing for, and it will get down to sixty two.

And yes, a big blanket to get under.

And yes, a big blanket to get under.

I love it. I love it that, but it's seventy degrees. Yeah, No, you're right. Camping does appeal to me for that, but I don't want it. I want it cold in our in our tent then yeah wow. And I also don't want to get eaten or attacked by a bear in the middle of the night. That's also something that prevents me from getting like that.

I love it. I love it that, but it's seventy degrees. Yeah, No, you're right. Camping does appeal to me for that, but I don't want it. I want it cold in our in our tent then yeah wow. And I also don't want to get eaten or attacked by a bear in the middle of the night. That's also something that prevents me from getting like that.

I'll solve your other problem of you know, you're supposed to be constantly on edge.

I'll solve your other problem of you know, you're supposed to be constantly on edge.

That's a good point.

That's a good point.

Camping sounds amazing for you.

Camping sounds amazing for you.

Well, I've open to it. I am open. I literally am open to it. After I went to Kellen's backyard and saw Michigan and was like, I kind of like outdoor, like this is this is a vibe. I kind of want to get and just go in that lake and float. But I will say that I now need a sleep mask. I need sixty two degrees. I need like a comforter that's I need a top sheet. I will not just sleep with a comforter. Like I need a special pillow that is satin and cradles my face like it's my pillow. And if I don't have it, I really don't, Like I'm such a pussy. I need a big T shirt and underwear I don't. I do not want pajamas. I do not want. I cannot sleep in long sleeves, I cannot sleep in a song. And I will not sleep with no underwear. And I my sister when we were in Vienna did not have any underwear because we were our bags were stuck or whatever, and she had to sleep with no underwear one night and she got a horrible night's sleep and we decided later on we were talking, she was like, yeah, I had to sleep with no underwear. She goes, I think that's why I couldn't sleep, and I go, that is why it's hell to sleep with no underwear for me.

Well, I've open to it. I am open. I literally am open to it. After I went to Kellen's backyard and saw Michigan and was like, I kind of like outdoor, like this is this is a vibe. I kind of want to get and just go in that lake and float. But I will say that I now need a sleep mask. I need sixty two degrees. I need like a comforter that's I need a top sheet. I will not just sleep with a comforter. Like I need a special pillow that is satin and cradles my face like it's my pillow. And if I don't have it, I really don't, Like I'm such a pussy. I need a big T shirt and underwear I don't. I do not want pajamas. I do not want. I cannot sleep in long sleeves, I cannot sleep in a song. And I will not sleep with no underwear. And I my sister when we were in Vienna did not have any underwear because we were our bags were stuck or whatever, and she had to sleep with no underwear one night and she got a horrible night's sleep and we decided later on we were talking, she was like, yeah, I had to sleep with no underwear. She goes, I think that's why I couldn't sleep, and I go, that is why it's hell to sleep with no underwear for me.

No, it's shocked.

No, it's shocked.

NO likes it.

NO likes it.

I don't want my vagina slipping around. And for some reason I don't have underwear and I'm sleeping, my vagina gets sweaty, I think, or it gets sweaty. And you know when you think, it's like you forget toyoder it and your pit starts sweating. Like that's what my vagina does when it doesn't have protection. I cannot have a nude vigin. I don't like it. Now there's not stuff hanging out. I don't have to keep it all in. That's not what I'm saying. It's even when it's tucked up.

I don't want my vagina slipping around. And for some reason I don't have underwear and I'm sleeping, my vagina gets sweaty, I think, or it gets sweaty. And you know when you think, it's like you forget toyoder it and your pit starts sweating. Like that's what my vagina does when it doesn't have protection. I cannot have a nude vigin. I don't like it. Now there's not stuff hanging out. I don't have to keep it all in. That's not what I'm saying. It's even when it's tucked up.

I don't layer of fabric is enough to protect you from whatever.

I don't layer of fabric is enough to protect you from whatever.

It's not even what's going to attack my vagina.

It's not even what's going to attack my vagina.

I just don't. I just feel gross.

I just don't. I just feel gross.

Yeah no, yeah, you don't want that bear fluids and as you so you're going to go back, you know, cleaning your sheets every day.

Yeah no, yeah, you don't want that bear fluids and as you so you're going to go back, you know, cleaning your sheets every day.

No, I definitely am not.

No, I definitely am not.

No, I'm def so that's a good point, but I will I do recommend reading this article just to get back to it, because it just talks you through what happened physically to our planet when it got slammed into by like a twenty mile long asteroid. And it's just like, I just want to see. I'm sure there's YouTube videos of it, but I just want to It's so nuts to hear what happened. It's like ninety nine point nine nine nine nine percent of biological life died on the planet almost instantly. It's like vulk like. But before that, dinosaurs were kind of they predict dinosaurs were kind of on their way out. They were almost extinct when the asteroid hit. Isn't that kind of crazy? Yes, I mean they could have been going no arms, I mean and then oh there was a discussion about, oh, we're well they had to start over. I know that everything had to start over. Is a big reset.

No, I'm def so that's a good point, but I will I do recommend reading this article just to get back to it, because it just talks you through what happened physically to our planet when it got slammed into by like a twenty mile long asteroid. And it's just like, I just want to see. I'm sure there's YouTube videos of it, but I just want to It's so nuts to hear what happened. It's like ninety nine point nine nine nine nine percent of biological life died on the planet almost instantly. It's like vulk like. But before that, dinosaurs were kind of they predict dinosaurs were kind of on their way out. They were almost extinct when the asteroid hit. Isn't that kind of crazy? Yes, I mean they could have been going no arms, I mean and then oh there was a discussion about, oh, we're well they had to start over. I know that everything had to start over. Is a big reset.

Well, there are some that survived. They were they're like very specific creatures that survived, most of them underwater, and then yeah, they became birds. There's one, I believe there's one. There's one type of sea creature that survived. I mean, sharks have been around for a long time, but there's one type of sea creature that has survived since that time really evolved.

Well, there are some that survived. They were they're like very specific creatures that survived, most of them underwater, and then yeah, they became birds. There's one, I believe there's one. There's one type of sea creature that survived. I mean, sharks have been around for a long time, but there's one type of sea creature that has survived since that time really evolved.

I didn't get through the whole thing, but I am like, I got to read Sapiens.

I didn't get through the whole thing, but I am like, I got to read Sapiens.

I think.

I think.

I think that's where all of this answer.

I think that's where all of this answer.

That's a real slog.

That's a real slog.

Yeah, I know. I started the summer. It felt like spark notes for like a for all every single social studies book you had. Yeah, spark notes are even too long sometimes. Okay, we got to go to break. I'll come back right back after this, and we're going to talk about the big, big announcement, which I'm sure you all saw the Golden Globes right after this.

Yeah, I know. I started the summer. It felt like spark notes for like a for all every single social studies book you had. Yeah, spark notes are even too long sometimes. Okay, we got to go to break. I'll come back right back after this, and we're going to talk about the big, big announcement, which I'm sure you all saw the Golden Globes right after this.

All Right, we're back. It's announced this morning.

All Right, we're back. It's announced this morning.

Unbelievable, unbelievable.

Unbelievable, unbelievable.

I can't can I toasting the eighty second Golden Globes annual Annual Golden Globes.

I can't can I toasting the eighty second Golden Globes annual Annual Golden Globes.

I think I know what Noah's going to say, Well.

I think I know what Noah's going to say, Well.

I was going to say, I cannot believe. Okay, here's a little humble brag. I feel like I know a lot of Nikky's secret things that are coming up. I had no idea.

I was going to say, I cannot believe. Okay, here's a little humble brag. I feel like I know a lot of Nikky's secret things that are coming up. I had no idea.

No one knew. My assistant, my closest person who's in my calendar, in my like, she's in everything. She didn't know. Emily, my social media girl, she didn't know. She's the one that had to like post like help me post about her whatever, and she's like, what, like, no one knew? The only crazy you know? I was just I didn't want to lose it and I'm tired of being a little yapper. Is what we're getting called. Chris did know because he was in the car when I got the call and I answered the call them knowing he was in the car. They were fine with him knowing because they figure, you're gonna tell your It was just my agent and manager and then and they were the first ones. It was like, I'm probably not even supposed to reveal how it goes down, but I'm if this is.

No one knew. My assistant, my closest person who's in my calendar, in my like, she's in everything. She didn't know. Emily, my social media girl, she didn't know. She's the one that had to like post like help me post about her whatever, and she's like, what, like, no one knew? The only crazy you know? I was just I didn't want to lose it and I'm tired of being a little yapper. Is what we're getting called. Chris did know because he was in the car when I got the call and I answered the call them knowing he was in the car. They were fine with him knowing because they figure, you're gonna tell your It was just my agent and manager and then and they were the first ones. It was like, I'm probably not even supposed to reveal how it goes down, but I'm if this is.

That's it the d I mean, can we talk like a little bit about what it felt like to get the announcement?

That's it the d I mean, can we talk like a little bit about what it felt like to get the announcement?

Stuff like, yeah, it felt that well, I've known about it for a little bit, but I didn't know it was like one hundred percent happening until a couple of days ago. But I knew it might be happening and was maybe like ninety nine percent sure happening for a little bit, but didn't know one hundred percent until like you know yesterday and then I honestly, the show is January fifth. I didn't think they would tell people till December. So I just thought I had to keep this secret from everyone in my life. And I literally listen in the past, I've got booked on things, and I'm sorry, Dancing with the Stars. My best friend's knew before it was announced on ABC Good Morning America. You want to assume me now, I don't know that statute is probably up at this point. I think it's seven years. Oh shit, I'm still in it. But yeah, you tell people you're their close knit. But this is like so big that I was like, I can't if I stupidly tell the wrong person.

Stuff like, yeah, it felt that well, I've known about it for a little bit, but I didn't know it was like one hundred percent happening until a couple of days ago. But I knew it might be happening and was maybe like ninety nine percent sure happening for a little bit, but didn't know one hundred percent until like you know yesterday and then I honestly, the show is January fifth. I didn't think they would tell people till December. So I just thought I had to keep this secret from everyone in my life. And I literally listen in the past, I've got booked on things, and I'm sorry, Dancing with the Stars. My best friend's knew before it was announced on ABC Good Morning America. You want to assume me now, I don't know that statute is probably up at this point. I think it's seven years. Oh shit, I'm still in it. But yeah, you tell people you're their close knit. But this is like so big that I was like, I can't if I stupidly tell the wrong person.

And it would be my fault.

And it would be my fault.

I wouldn't even be mad at them, you know, Like, I just can't risk this. It's all up to me to keep this in. So I didn't tell anyone. Chris knew, and my parents knew. But I only told my parents yesterday, and I really put the fear of God in them, like they weren't even talking to each other about it and they both know. And then I whispered it to my sister during a pilates class. But that was what it was. She was the first person I told. I'm sorry to everyone who told me not to tell anyone. You know, you got to tell your personal family. You tell your family too. And my family they're in Saint Louis. They're not connected to the biz, and they also seriously depend on me making millions of dollars, so they're not gonna tell book at any They know it would jeopardize it, uh because yeah, their kids want to go to college. So anyway, Yeah, I last night, all of a sudden, they were like, the announcement's coming tomorrow, and I was like, I literally didn't think it would be till November or December. So it was really that's exciting because, as I've said before, the announcements always like the most exciting part of anything because you don't it's no work, you know.

I wouldn't even be mad at them, you know, Like, I just can't risk this. It's all up to me to keep this in. So I didn't tell anyone. Chris knew, and my parents knew. But I only told my parents yesterday, and I really put the fear of God in them, like they weren't even talking to each other about it and they both know. And then I whispered it to my sister during a pilates class. But that was what it was. She was the first person I told. I'm sorry to everyone who told me not to tell anyone. You know, you got to tell your personal family. You tell your family too. And my family they're in Saint Louis. They're not connected to the biz, and they also seriously depend on me making millions of dollars, so they're not gonna tell book at any They know it would jeopardize it, uh because yeah, their kids want to go to college. So anyway, Yeah, I last night, all of a sudden, they were like, the announcement's coming tomorrow, and I was like, I literally didn't think it would be till November or December. So it was really that's exciting because, as I've said before, the announcements always like the most exciting part of anything because you don't it's no work, you know.

Let's get that.

Let's get that.

I had Chris, and I wrote a statement that I had to because there's a press release and they want a quote from you. So we worked for like an hour on a quote, which was a little long, like got to the point where Chris was like, well, let's reconsider this, and I go, I don't think I want to work on this anymore. I think it's just gonna have to be good as it is. And that's like an interesting place to hit where you're like, we haven't nailed it. It's not like perfect because it's not like what I would want on my tombstone. It's in terms of a quote, but you have to determine if you're going to be a perfectionist about everything. Yeah, it was you just go, Okay, this is a quote that most people won't even get to because press releases aren't really red and full by most people. And yes, I wanted to be kind of funny, but like, I don't need to devote more than an hour to this. An hour already seems way too much and if you overthink something too much, it can get worse. So I just said, okay, job, letting go true.

I had Chris, and I wrote a statement that I had to because there's a press release and they want a quote from you. So we worked for like an hour on a quote, which was a little long, like got to the point where Chris was like, well, let's reconsider this, and I go, I don't think I want to work on this anymore. I think it's just gonna have to be good as it is. And that's like an interesting place to hit where you're like, we haven't nailed it. It's not like perfect because it's not like what I would want on my tombstone. It's in terms of a quote, but you have to determine if you're going to be a perfectionist about everything. Yeah, it was you just go, Okay, this is a quote that most people won't even get to because press releases aren't really red and full by most people. And yes, I wanted to be kind of funny, but like, I don't need to devote more than an hour to this. An hour already seems way too much and if you overthink something too much, it can get worse. So I just said, okay, job, letting go true.

Yeah, and he looked at it.

Yeah, and he looked at it.

Was an interesting moment because you know, we're like creative collaborators, and his mo is to really make something as best as it could be. And I was like, he goes, so I think maybe we send it to this person. And I go, I actually think I'm done working on it, and he's like, but it's and I and we just kind of looked at each other like and he's like okay, like he just he knew I was at my limit, and uh we decided to move on. But yeah, so that that's just the start of it though, and then and then the announcement went out, and then this morning the quote on my and you have to like put a quote on your Instagram and they have to like people approve it. I don't know if they approve it or someone was approving it, maybe my team and my quote was I like did it this morning? I woke up and they're like, okay, we're good to go with this, and I was like, I hate that kind of and I like kind of freaked out, and I wrote some friends being like what what's the best And then I had to tell that person, Hey, I'm hosting the Golden Globes. It's being announced in one minute. Can you help me think of a caption? And so we spitballed, and then we just came up with a joke about my tits being golden, and I was just like, okay, why not, you know what, It's an Instagram caption and it did make me laugh, even though it seemed like the obvious joke. So that's and then and then within minutes text message of like it being posted, who's dming you?

Was an interesting moment because you know, we're like creative collaborators, and his mo is to really make something as best as it could be. And I was like, he goes, so I think maybe we send it to this person. And I go, I actually think I'm done working on it, and he's like, but it's and I and we just kind of looked at each other like and he's like okay, like he just he knew I was at my limit, and uh we decided to move on. But yeah, so that that's just the start of it though, and then and then the announcement went out, and then this morning the quote on my and you have to like put a quote on your Instagram and they have to like people approve it. I don't know if they approve it or someone was approving it, maybe my team and my quote was I like did it this morning? I woke up and they're like, okay, we're good to go with this, and I was like, I hate that kind of and I like kind of freaked out, and I wrote some friends being like what what's the best And then I had to tell that person, Hey, I'm hosting the Golden Globes. It's being announced in one minute. Can you help me think of a caption? And so we spitballed, and then we just came up with a joke about my tits being golden, and I was just like, okay, why not, you know what, It's an Instagram caption and it did make me laugh, even though it seemed like the obvious joke. So that's and then and then within minutes text message of like it being posted, who's dming you?

Like the first person to text you.

Like the first person to text you.

I just want to give a shout out to the first person who is must get alerts from Variety Magazine on their phoners. Actually, she did text me three times asking for money in the thirty seconds after it got posted. Nick, we've asked six times. Now they're starting to count the number of times they've asked. Yeah, they're getting like gonna mean at me. But it was Kevin Clancy from KFC Radio, who is always such an avid supporter of mine, one of my favorite people to podcasts with, and uh just one of honestly one of my favorite people. So funny, so nice, always been really supportive. I think he's so hilarious, So that meant a lot. And then it was like, you know who was my agent's all on a text together. And then it's like Mike Kaplan producers I've worked with in the past, Chris's brother, Rick Glassman, Greg Warren, Ari Finling, Jackie Kashin, my two makeup artists that I've worked with, Travis Kelsey's agent, Micah Fox, Matt Rogers. Shout out to Matt Rodgers, who got my number. I'm such I've become such an insane fan of Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang since last cultuesas I've always loved them, but it's like I'm getting a little bit obsessive, almost like did you can't me?

I just want to give a shout out to the first person who is must get alerts from Variety Magazine on their phoners. Actually, she did text me three times asking for money in the thirty seconds after it got posted. Nick, we've asked six times. Now they're starting to count the number of times they've asked. Yeah, they're getting like gonna mean at me. But it was Kevin Clancy from KFC Radio, who is always such an avid supporter of mine, one of my favorite people to podcasts with, and uh just one of honestly one of my favorite people. So funny, so nice, always been really supportive. I think he's so hilarious, So that meant a lot. And then it was like, you know who was my agent's all on a text together. And then it's like Mike Kaplan producers I've worked with in the past, Chris's brother, Rick Glassman, Greg Warren, Ari Finling, Jackie Kashin, my two makeup artists that I've worked with, Travis Kelsey's agent, Micah Fox, Matt Rogers. Shout out to Matt Rodgers, who got my number. I'm such I've become such an insane fan of Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang since last cultuesas I've always loved them, but it's like I'm getting a little bit obsessive, almost like did you can't me?

I was like, Alm, did you hear Matt?

I was like, Alm, did you hear Matt?

Oh?

Oh?

Yeah, I watched his whole Christmas special that he's amazing. He's so talented. I'm obsessed. But he texted me being like it's Matt Rogers and I'm like, oh my god. And then I asked I straight up was like the only thing I went from this Golden Globes is a chance to maybe present at the Culture Awards next year. And they said, you're booked, and I don't know if I can announce that, but I think they probably will on their podcast. But I am doing the Culture Awards. I will be presenting there. But which is an award show that their podcast puts on. It's so fucking funny. Renee co Tier, Andrew Collins, Stacy Wardrobe from Foil and Tyler Florence, Emil Joachim Ryan, my social media guy, uh a producer that I used to work with at Conan. I mean, my guy the head of comedy that flicks so many people Brian uh and Noah, you said a nice thing, thanks for posting on your stories. Everyone's just so nice and excited and and yeah a lot.

Yeah, I watched his whole Christmas special that he's amazing. He's so talented. I'm obsessed. But he texted me being like it's Matt Rogers and I'm like, oh my god. And then I asked I straight up was like the only thing I went from this Golden Globes is a chance to maybe present at the Culture Awards next year. And they said, you're booked, and I don't know if I can announce that, but I think they probably will on their podcast. But I am doing the Culture Awards. I will be presenting there. But which is an award show that their podcast puts on. It's so fucking funny. Renee co Tier, Andrew Collins, Stacy Wardrobe from Foil and Tyler Florence, Emil Joachim Ryan, my social media guy, uh a producer that I used to work with at Conan. I mean, my guy the head of comedy that flicks so many people Brian uh and Noah, you said a nice thing, thanks for posting on your stories. Everyone's just so nice and excited and and yeah a lot.

Yeah, I mean it's an incredible cat.

Yeah, I mean it's an incredible cat.

Yeah. He he's always a really you know, there's some people that you always hear from when there's good stuff going on, and he's one of them.

Yeah. He he's always a really you know, there's some people that you always hear from when there's good stuff going on, and he's one of them.

Now, let's name the people who didn't reach out. Yo.

Now, let's name the people who didn't reach out. Yo.

Yeah, let me get to that list, because I'm already compiling it. Mom.

Yeah, let me get to that list, because I'm already compiling it. Mom.

No, she definitely wrote out. I wrote to me, what did your parents say? I know they were so loud, but my god, they go.

No, she definitely wrote out. I wrote to me, what did your parents say? I know they were so loud, but my god, they go.

Mom goes, that woman just heard you because we were like at a restaurant and I whispered and I'm like, no, she didn't. She's watching the DNC on her phone. She goes, No, they hurt you. Guys should have seen these two people. There's no way they heard. There's no way they would care or even know what that was. They were like actively talking and watching the DNC on their phones at a restaurant loudly, like they weren't listening. They they weren't a where anyone was near them, let alone conversations were happening that they could, but my mom goes they hurt, and then I started getting paranoid and I'm like, no, I shouldn't be. They did not, but she was just like they're so proud. They're just like we can't believe it. And then my dad like writes me later on being like, I'm still processing it.

Mom goes, that woman just heard you because we were like at a restaurant and I whispered and I'm like, no, she didn't. She's watching the DNC on her phone. She goes, No, they hurt you. Guys should have seen these two people. There's no way they heard. There's no way they would care or even know what that was. They were like actively talking and watching the DNC on their phones at a restaurant loudly, like they weren't listening. They they weren't a where anyone was near them, let alone conversations were happening that they could, but my mom goes they hurt, and then I started getting paranoid and I'm like, no, I shouldn't be. They did not, but she was just like they're so proud. They're just like we can't believe it. And then my dad like writes me later on being like, I'm still processing it.

So cute, so.

So cute, so.

Proud, surreal. I mean, it's one of those things that your parents, like you probably don't have to deal with this anymore, but like when you're first starting out comedy, you get all these huge successes that are impossible to achieve, and your parents just don't understand what that even means or how hard it was.

Proud, surreal. I mean, it's one of those things that your parents, like you probably don't have to deal with this anymore, but like when you're first starting out comedy, you get all these huge successes that are impossible to achieve, and your parents just don't understand what that even means or how hard it was.

Mine always did.

Mine always did.

Oh, they just always did.

Oh, they just always did.

Yeah, I'm kind of lucky in that way. I know that that does that Listen. They didn't always get it, Like they didn't understand how I was gonna make money. My mom's still worried that I'm spending too much money and that I'm gonna that I need a backup plan, like, but I will say that they always were like, Wow, you're opening for Screech this weekend.

Yeah, I'm kind of lucky in that way. I know that that does that Listen. They didn't always get it, Like they didn't understand how I was gonna make money. My mom's still worried that I'm spending too much money and that I'm gonna that I need a backup plan, like, but I will say that they always were like, Wow, you're opening for Screech this weekend.

That's huge.

That's huge.

You're driving to the middle of Illinois to get paid for fifty to do to perform at a sports bar where everyone is mad at you because you just turned off the hockey game. Amazing, like they they were so supportive all along.

You're driving to the middle of Illinois to get paid for fifty to do to perform at a sports bar where everyone is mad at you because you just turned off the hockey game. Amazing, like they they were so supportive all along.

So well, okay, so just generically the Golden Globes, though, hosting the Golden Globe is something that everybody understands as a big deal, whether you're a I mean, the only there's there's one group of people that I don't know would understand, and that is Jen Alpha because they don't even watch TV. So but other than that, everybody from the ages of eight, every one to ninety eight. Once it turned ninety nine year.

So well, okay, so just generically the Golden Globes, though, hosting the Golden Globe is something that everybody understands as a big deal, whether you're a I mean, the only there's there's one group of people that I don't know would understand, and that is Jen Alpha because they don't even watch TV. So but other than that, everybody from the ages of eight, every one to ninety eight. Once it turned ninety nine year.

Well be well. I wrote the quote that I like.

Well be well. I wrote the quote that I like.

I was kind of like writing from the heart initially to figure out what was going to say about this announcement, and Chris is like, because I'm trying to First, I was trying to write funny, and then Chris is like, how do you actually feel? And I'm like, honestly, the Golden Globes is the pinnacle of like what what I at least for my career, aspire to like of what I'm good at. It is the pinnacle because it is the only night as a host that you really get to lean into being funny, and you really get to lean into telling the truth and saying the things about show business what you which you revere and you're honoring because it's a legit award show. It's a serious award show that doesn't take itself too seriously. Now listen, there is a line, and you do have to tell that lot. It is a fine needle to thread. But I know that I'm going to thread it perfectly because I do like Hollywood. I do want these people to like me. I don't want to burn bridges, but I also I love calling out hypocrisy in a fun way that is palatable, because that's the only way you can really call it out these days. By the way, Like I'm not some pussy who's like, oh, I just I love Hollywood so much and I don't want to get canceled. I want to say things that could get me canceled, but I'm gonna figure out a way to say them where no one can be mad, because it's just true, and that's that's what you have to do.

I was kind of like writing from the heart initially to figure out what was going to say about this announcement, and Chris is like, because I'm trying to First, I was trying to write funny, and then Chris is like, how do you actually feel? And I'm like, honestly, the Golden Globes is the pinnacle of like what what I at least for my career, aspire to like of what I'm good at. It is the pinnacle because it is the only night as a host that you really get to lean into being funny, and you really get to lean into telling the truth and saying the things about show business what you which you revere and you're honoring because it's a legit award show. It's a serious award show that doesn't take itself too seriously. Now listen, there is a line, and you do have to tell that lot. It is a fine needle to thread. But I know that I'm going to thread it perfectly because I do like Hollywood. I do want these people to like me. I don't want to burn bridges, but I also I love calling out hypocrisy in a fun way that is palatable, because that's the only way you can really call it out these days. By the way, Like I'm not some pussy who's like, oh, I just I love Hollywood so much and I don't want to get canceled. I want to say things that could get me canceled, but I'm gonna figure out a way to say them where no one can be mad, because it's just true, and that's that's what you have to do.

It's I mean, that's so you study. I mean, he'd the I mean, he's thread that line or towed the line perfectly, part perfectly.

It's I mean, that's so you study. I mean, he'd the I mean, he's thread that line or towed the line perfectly, part perfectly.

Now, who knows if that kind of monologu would work in this day and age. Like it's been a while since he had those those big moments, and I think that the culture has changed a little bit, so especially after last year's Golden Globes, where there seemed to be moments that were truly offensive to some celebrities, and like, so it's just gonna be It's it's going to be hard to do, but it's not impossible, and it's you know, I talked to the people that chose me for this, and like we're really instrumental in making it happen, especially this guy Jay Penske, who's like the head of the entire thing, and he's they're just so supportive of what I do, and like they they it's it feels similar to when I used to talk about getting hired for f Boy Island.

Now, who knows if that kind of monologu would work in this day and age. Like it's been a while since he had those those big moments, and I think that the culture has changed a little bit, so especially after last year's Golden Globes, where there seemed to be moments that were truly offensive to some celebrities, and like, so it's just gonna be It's it's going to be hard to do, but it's not impossible, and it's you know, I talked to the people that chose me for this, and like we're really instrumental in making it happen, especially this guy Jay Penske, who's like the head of the entire thing, and he's they're just so supportive of what I do, and like they they it's it feels similar to when I used to talk about getting hired for f Boy Island.

I remember being.

I remember being.

Like, thank you so much, Oh my god, I can't believe I get to do this thing, Like I get to host a reality show for HBO, Like this is the greatest thing I could ever imagine doing, and it really was. And then I remember HBO saying we're lucky to get you, like we want we're excited for what you're gonna do, Like just do what you want because we trust you and we know that, like you're gonna kill this. And I was like, wait, you trust me, Like hold on, I'm supposed to be thinking you and like just catering to you. But they're also like, no, we're lucky we have you, And I feel that same kind of like it's it's almost like sometimes when you're dating and you finally meet a person that you're like, you like me as much as I like you. It's never it really doesn't happen until it happens, right. Like most of the time it's imbalanced. One person like is like, wow, I really lucked out, and the other person is like, you know, I'm kind of desperate right now and this he's really nice or whatever it is. But it's rare when both people are like just as psyched for each other. I don't know that it's that common even in relationships. I think they're still in balance, and certainly not in professional relationships. But it feels that way, and I'm just excited to like, hopefully get to talk to Ricky Gervais, hopefully get to talk to a Tina Amy Fallon Kimmel. I mean, I'm gonna talk to as many as I can conan about hosting these things and what they wish they would have done with Chris Rock, which they wish they would have done, wish they wish they they didn't want to do like they would have done, And I just wanted to be the best it can possibly be. And I really feel like I have such a good runway leading up to it, so much time to make it that like there's no way it won't be good. I just have never felt so certain about something. I'm sure two weeks out I'll be like, why don't I have more time to like this isn't working Like that always happens. I talked about it on therapy with Chris yesterday about like I've got some big projects coming up. I didn't even tell my therapist, and I was like, I just don't want to have that two weeks out meltdown of like why am I you doing this? Like I just it might happen, because that is a part of me as I'm learning in my individual therapy, like the part of you that has self doubt, the part of you that doesn't think you deserve things.

Like, thank you so much, Oh my god, I can't believe I get to do this thing, Like I get to host a reality show for HBO, Like this is the greatest thing I could ever imagine doing, and it really was. And then I remember HBO saying we're lucky to get you, like we want we're excited for what you're gonna do, Like just do what you want because we trust you and we know that, like you're gonna kill this. And I was like, wait, you trust me, Like hold on, I'm supposed to be thinking you and like just catering to you. But they're also like, no, we're lucky we have you, And I feel that same kind of like it's it's almost like sometimes when you're dating and you finally meet a person that you're like, you like me as much as I like you. It's never it really doesn't happen until it happens, right. Like most of the time it's imbalanced. One person like is like, wow, I really lucked out, and the other person is like, you know, I'm kind of desperate right now and this he's really nice or whatever it is. But it's rare when both people are like just as psyched for each other. I don't know that it's that common even in relationships. I think they're still in balance, and certainly not in professional relationships. But it feels that way, and I'm just excited to like, hopefully get to talk to Ricky Gervais, hopefully get to talk to a Tina Amy Fallon Kimmel. I mean, I'm gonna talk to as many as I can conan about hosting these things and what they wish they would have done with Chris Rock, which they wish they would have done, wish they wish they they didn't want to do like they would have done, And I just wanted to be the best it can possibly be. And I really feel like I have such a good runway leading up to it, so much time to make it that like there's no way it won't be good. I just have never felt so certain about something. I'm sure two weeks out I'll be like, why don't I have more time to like this isn't working Like that always happens. I talked about it on therapy with Chris yesterday about like I've got some big projects coming up. I didn't even tell my therapist, and I was like, I just don't want to have that two weeks out meltdown of like why am I you doing this? Like I just it might happen, because that is a part of me as I'm learning in my individual therapy, like the part of you that has self doubt, the part of you that doesn't think you deserve things.

Don't be mean to that part of you.

Don't be mean to that part of you.

Just tell that part of you to like go hang out in another room and like scribble angrily in a journal. And they can like slip you notes under the door about how you're a piece of shit, but you don't have to pick those notes up. And you can still feed that thing and like let it live in your house, but you don't have to hang out with it. That that that thing, that girl that's mean and she can write all her ver notes to you and be mean, but that like but be nice to her. Don't kill her and punish her, but like just set her up in a way that you like a mother in law who's staying with you, that you're like, Okay, I got to put up with this for now, but like I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna pick up what you're given me, and I'm gonna I'm gonna make.

Just tell that part of you to like go hang out in another room and like scribble angrily in a journal. And they can like slip you notes under the door about how you're a piece of shit, but you don't have to pick those notes up. And you can still feed that thing and like let it live in your house, but you don't have to hang out with it. That that that thing, that girl that's mean and she can write all her ver notes to you and be mean, but that like but be nice to her. Don't kill her and punish her, but like just set her up in a way that you like a mother in law who's staying with you, that you're like, Okay, I got to put up with this for now, but like I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna pick up what you're given me, and I'm gonna I'm gonna make.

Your stay lovely.

Your stay lovely.

That's how you have to treat parts of yourself like this whole family systems. I think it's called Family Development Systems. It's a book that two of my friends bought for me in a year called No Bad Parts. I think I got it twice for my birthday, and it's I've only read like twenty pages of it because I was I was starting to make me do you know, journal entries and stuff that I didn't have time to actually commit to.