The Nikki Glaser Podcast#462 Nikki & Chris Almost Buy A House, ”What’s Wrong With Me?”
Chris is determined to get back on track with his health and his trusty blueberry smoothie helps him get on his way. Nikki's game plan is to keep away from carbs and the dreaded calorie count. Yoga in Australia is way more chill than in the US. Get this, Nikki is not a perfectionist. Nikki and Chris were super close to buying a house but bailed on the bidding war. Now she’s on the hunt for a new place with a balcony. Brian once lived in a gross frat house and is seriously fed up with home prices. Nikki's therapy session, helped her learn a lesson and gave her a good title for her next special.In the Final Thought, Nikki spills the tea on stuff other girls love that she’s just not into but kinda wishes she was.
Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast
.
Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast
Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod
Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record
Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour
Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange
More Nikki: IG
More Brian: IG
More producer Noa: IG
The Nicki Gliser Podcastser here's Nikki. Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. I'm here in studio in Saint Louis with Chris Convey. He's here again today.
What's up? How's going, glaze good?
First time we talked today?
Just kidding, yeah, right, just in the kitchen. We were just chatting in the kitchen cleaning blueberry.
Oh my god, we should have done the podcast of that's what people want to hear. The amount of blueberries that are in that bowl right now? Was there a sale? Was there a going out of business?
I was.
My smoothie was completely ready to go, except I was out of blueberries today. So I'd go to the store just for blueberries. And I thought to myself, I never want this to happen again. So I got four big things of blueberries.
Which we're gonna see in the trash in a week.
No, no, because he goes in the freezer these Oh okay, there's carrots are my problem.
Carrots are your problem?
And you you end up cleaning that mess up?
Yeah I do.
I will. I don't care how older dirty the carrot is.
No, doesn't care if there's a little not on it, a little cancerous tumor. I will eat right, I'll just scrape it off. In fact, I will not. Brian's here, Noah's here. What's up, guys? When you're chopping carrots eating carrots, do you have to clean off the skin because I don't give a fuck them on the skin.
I never chop a carrot. I always get baby carrots in a bag and they're ready to eat.
They're gross. Baby carrots are gross.
They get sly.
Yeah.
I just think they taste worse than real carrots.
Chris, No, Yeah, Noah.
Our friend Halla, who we mentioned yesterday on the podcast, she's a huge carrot eater.
Oh yeah, and she eats like.
She does, big carrot eater. We don't say that anymore. We say hippie, dirty hippy.
She's a dirty hippie who eats a lot of carrots. And she told me ones that baby carrots are just like the good parts of a bad carrot.
Oh, that makes sense, that's all they are. But I've never actually thought of doing what you just described. I always buy frozen fruit, but I never thought about buying blueberries fresh, washing them and then putting them in the freezer.
Yeah, that's the way I do it. I like it. I like it that way.
That's interesting. I've never I never thought of that.
Let's walk our way through a Chris Convey smoothie.
What's going in it?
We're doing? Uh, and Brian's got a smoothie too, so maybe we can compare.
Let's talk about smoothie.
But I've actually added an ingredient from Brian. Smoothie into mind makes my taste.
Your body feel good?
I don't know if it does my body. That's exactly what it is, Brian, what is it? I just take Brian's word for this. Usually I'll do like five days of research.
That's the fifth most popular girl name right now, right after Emma.
That's one of the dragon's names. Dragons.
The algae names are kind of like girl names. There's Spirillina. There's Clorella, which could also be a girl's name. Gorgeous name, gorgeous Chlorella. That's all. That's the only two.
Colrea come here, Clorilla.
Yeah, maybe that's her name.
Into it?
Yeah, okay, so blueberries, strawberries, yeah, pineapple mm hmm.
Tons of spinach, weird amount of spinach.
Probably, Well, that's the thing about spinach you got when you're cooking it, certainly you have to use way more, way more. When I get a side of spinach at a restaurant and it is like a like the size of what you would do if you put on, like I don't know, a dab of siracha. Like it's like that small, like it's a little I just am like this person who's back there cooking doesn't eat spin it, Like they don't.
They don't get it.
They don't get it.
They're like an entire bag of spinach, like a big gallon bag. You put that in the frying pan. That's like one fork full of spinach.
Yeah. Yeah, the amount of spinach you get caught in your teeth, that's a half a bag of spinach.
Yeah.
It's like a magic trick.
It's really, he is insane. It's it is like a magic.
That's what David Copperfield uses and make things disappears spinach.
Chris Cony is back on the health train.
Yeah yeah, yeah, I went when Nicky and I went to Zurich, I fell off a big time.
And that Zurich meaning not the last time we had a layover in Zurch like Zike parents.
Yeah, a month ago.
Ish, right, I don't know why I'm saying everything, but even Zurich with my parents, everything's getting into the karma. Okay.
When we went to Zurich with my parents, you fell off hard.
You were like.
All the time, eating healthier.
I was doing great. I was on my way. I was well on my way. But mcdonals, because you remember this, Glenn Powell and I were working out at the same gym.
Well, this is now five years ago.
In twenty nineteen, twenty nineteen, we were working on the same gym. We were chasing the same body at the same time.
Yeah, he got to it.
He got there first.
Not only did get there first, he kept it well he is. He held onto it. It's not like a trophy that gets to switch back and forth. It's like it's a lay. He won it forever. Well, before where were together. I was close.
We were Glenn Powell and I were neck and neck. He he knows.
I'd love to be neck and neck.
Sounds better.
He and I were working out the same gym, This great gym Ultimate Performance. If anybody wants to in LA, I think we've got gyms all over the country, look up Ultimate Performance. They are the real deal. They will get you there, Glenn pal.
If you would have ruined your life and ruined your social life and make your whole existence about counting macros and reps.
And well, you know you want to change things.
Yeah, that's true. It's just I just don't think it's sustainable. But I also I like I like this. It's about a goal. It's not sustainable. But I didn't know what a calorie was before.
I still don't know.
And especially when I go to Europe and they got cake cows written on everything.
Yeah.
Cat.
Sometimes it'll be like there's two thousand k cows in this and I go, what the fuck is that? And I know we shouldn't care about calories and we should just listen to our bodies and feel like when we're full and just eat the Intuitively. I can't do it, y'all. I can't do it. I do pay attention to calories. I can't erase it for my brain.
My high school chemistry teacher taught me a song to remember what calories are, to the tune of I Forgot. Actually I don't know what the original song is, but I can.
Say calories are how much heat it takes to burn one molecule of that isn't that it?
Oh calorie, Oh calorie, raise one gramma of water one degree. I get a Christmas tree.
That's good. Really, So one calorie is what it takes to raise one gramma of will water one degree.
That's right, And that you missus McCann.
It's too many degrees of water being raised one degree makes you fat for some reason. Don't understand that it's energy.
Yeah, I mean it's all about energy. Calorie is a measurement of energy, and you get calories from eating, you know, foods and nutrients. It's all about burning.
It's burning.
It's all about burning. Look, i'm those scientists. I just know that song.
But when when you go to McDonald's and they added the calories, like in the nineties or whenever, I remember being like, what is all what are all these numbers? And I never learned.
I never caved.
I love my life.
Before I understood nutritional facts, before I would look at that and I would just go.
It was like before I knew what cursive was.
I used to look at my mom's handwriting and be like, this is hieroglyphics to me. And I remember feeling like there was there was this world that I wasn't a part of it, and I was so excited that I didn't have to know it yet, like it wasn't my job to know what that was, right, And I looked at it, and I remember looking at her notes, thinking I'm so glad I am not expected to know what the fuck any of this means. But there is a part of your soul that gets broken when you are a woman or a man that suffers with eating disorders. When you learn about nutritional facts and you start paying attention to that stuff your life because your life derails into I can't go back to being someone who doesn't know what that stuff means and doesn't care. I have not had pasta in twenty years. I have not intentionally. I've eaten pasta because I've been at a party and been like, oh, I guess I have to eat this because someone's mom made it. But it's been hell for me. I didn't enjoy it. I just wanted to eat it and be done with it. I cannot get past why because the carb craz carb craz.
It to me is like embedded in my brain.
I know carbs do not make you fat, like I know that that's I know, it's been totally dispelled. And like pasta is healthy for you, and like if you eat in moderation, it's fine. I feel crazy if I eat a piece of pasta.
What's your stance on bread?
Same way? I mean bread is a little bit easier for me because it's fluffy or pasta is like condensed bread, and it just freaks me out.
What is pasta but condensed bread?
And it's a sickening thing to have this. But I was even talking about it with my pasta gross, you know, and I hear it has a lot of chemicals in it.
Za gross.
It's also TikTok where it was like had the most tuxic pasta like it was, Yeah, it's.
Same like bamboo sheets. People are like, oh, bamboo sheets, this is all exciting the amount of chemicals they have to do to break that down.
And then you got those pandas sneaking in your room at night to snatch your sheets, and you wake up and you hear the munching, and you go, what's going on? And you got to get those fucking pandas out of your room. Yeah, I don't like it. You can't kill it's illegal. You have to encourage them to fuck in your back because to make more it's very so it is really sad.
But well, I have eucalyptus sheets actually, oh yeah, which is also a real thing.
But you got those Koala sneaker? You double is a Asian bear at once?
What actually a marsupial? I think it is.
Oh, you're probably Australian marsupial.
Okay, I thought it was an Asian. But there's Asians in Australia, so that they're allowed to travel there and live there.
Well, yeah, no, Chinese tourism is very high in Australia. I learned that when I went to Australia.
I learned that too when I went to a yoga class in Australia or a plates class, and it was all it was. I was the only non Asian person there.
What'd you do?
I did it all right? Yeah, I did all right. They were all very lithe and tiny, but yeah, I did pretty good. I will say Australian pilates at least the place I was going to easy compared to American And it makes sense because we're pushing ourselves. We always have to like be in pain. And they were like think about what a gift this is to your body. It was more about like thanking your body for every movement and like trying to feel things, and it was just much.
I really loved it.
It was soothing and the guy that was teaching the class just made you feel so good that you even showed up, like he didn't expect anything of you.
Right, whereas the ones in LA are like.
Well, it's just it's against Australian culture to try to rise above.
Yeah, to try to win. Oh my god, yeah.
I saw poppy syndrome.
So I tried to quit pilate. I actually cancel my plotate's class today. I was fifteen minutes. You should no, I was nine minutes. It was nine minutes out. And it's right, like I live very close to it. I can get at like six am though he was at nine am, and I just was like, I just don't want to do it.
Hey, can somebody convince Glazer that this is a mistake to do a pol's class at six pm or six pm on a Monday night and then go to a eight am pilates class on Tuesday morning. That's you're not supposed to do that. It got me back on track, so you just needed to jump start your systems.
And I will say I gave so little in those classes.
I let myself give so okay, good how much I got fifty percent both classes?
Because even yesterday at the gym, I was like, I'm I'm going I'm not going to hurt myself.
No, yeah, I'm going to be I was like, really, I'm doing this new thing where you talk compassionately to yourself because I saw TikTok.
How does it go?
Nikki?
You poor thing you have. You are so hard on yourself, You poor thing you have. You work so hard. You you went to this platates class thinking that this would be a good idea and it's not. And you're too embarrassed to quit now because you chose one of the reformers that's in the middle of the class and not on the side, so it's much harder to leave. And you also really like this instructor and you don't want her to think it was because of her.
So you're, you poor thing. You're gonna have to dick this out.
And I just talk to myself like that, and you say, NICKI, or you say like you talk to yourself, And I saw it.
It's an Andrew Huberman clip.
And this one was just talking about how like instead of when you feel sad, instead of like trying to find a way to like focus on the good, like just lean into the sad and be like, right, oh, it's you know what really sucks that even if the thing you're feeling bad about is just so trivial and you feel stupid about it, just find a way to be like what your best friend would say to you, like the best friend that is always compassionate about whatever you're going through. Try to mimic what she would say in those moments and like kind of and even like do this to yourself so like I'm in a plank position doing like rubbing my arm, and she's like, what do you do? And it makes it much harder to hold a blank with one arm. Yourself soothing and.
You're saying yourself, you got to push harder, Nicki, as you, yeah, hold yourself.
Hard on herself. She's real hard. Yeah, all that.
Works for you, Nicki, because you're a perfectionist and you need to counteract that with some sort of helse.
So you think I am not a perfectionist. I want to I want to combat that a little bit because I give up. I totally am okay with being a B plus. I want to be a B plus. I am happy with that as is like shooting for the Star Stars. A plus. I will go for when the time calls for it, but not not every time.
If you know that you're not going to get the A plus, then you give up. You settle for that.
And that's why I'm trying to stick out a plot acess and go. You know what, everyone is doing this mega donkey push right now? It is no, it is. It is so hard. It's just to do it. My body has to contort in a way that gets me out of alignment. Kirson, if you're listening, you know what I'm talking You know what I'm talking about. Like my spine is supposed to be along the line on the reformer. That means you keep your pelvis straight and your hips are straight, and you with one leg push back, so you're like pushing back, pushing yourself forward against the reformer with your heel. But to compensate because it's so hard, my body will shift to one side and it's all out of alignment and I'm doing the exercise wrong. To do it right. So instead of just doing it wrong, to do it right, to just get the exercise done, I will modify it and lay on my side, which is completely not the exercise. It's way easier. But I did that because I was like, you, poor thing, you were just on a flight. You sign up for this class. You didn't want to accept the penalty to do the class. Just do the exercise that's easier and it's gonna be okay. And that's what I did, and I felt fine about it. So but I do struggle with when do you push through and when do you give up? When is it self soothing? Or when is it good for you to give up on something and cancel the class and not go And when is it good to go? No, Nikki, complete the class, don't give up. That is the line that I don't have a firm grasspot, right.
You remember that Kobe Bryant, I'm gonna butcher the qute should probably look at it. But it's like He's like, you make a contract with yourself at the beginning of the season that you're going to go to the gym, you know, three hundred and sixty days out of the year, or you're going to shoot a certain amount of shots. I forget exactly what it is, and you go and you have to you have to complete the contract with yourself. That's his thing. And you were like, I don't think that's a good idea that you could get hurt.
But we renegotiate all the time on my contracts.
We go back to the table.
We yes, there's always an opening for renegotiating in my life. But I think that's and that's where because there are sometimes I walk out of a pilates class that I'm like, man, I just have this incomplete feeling all day long of like why did I do that? I should have completed it, Like the twenty five minutes I did last in the class are are for nothing now because it's just I didn't complete it.
So it was like I did. I just feel awful.
And then there's sometimes where it feels like, no, that was the right decision and I can't really figure out which one is which.
Should I play the kobeadit? You sure?
Okay?
You know you're out running on the track working out, and you start talking to yourself saying, man, my knee is really sore right now. Maybe I'm maybe I'm doing too much. Man, I need to back off. You know, Man, my lungs are burning, and maybe I can just slow down here. I'll do like an extra two sets tomorrow. You know it'll be okay. Right, that sort of stuff like that stuff's dangerous and that's you just got to say, you know what, I'm not negotiating with myself. The deal was already made. Deal was made when I set out at the beginning of the summer and said this is the training plan I'm doing. I signed that contract with myself. I'm doing it. You know, throughout that process, you'll start talking to yourself like, man, I gotta I think I need to.
Maybe if we know the monastic chance behind it, really, Ah, you need one of those your background.
The Redeemed Team. Did you watch that documentary?
No?
Well, it's about the two thousand and eight US Olympic basketball team who are trying to redeem the country's horrible loss the previous Olympics, and Kobe Bryant plays a big role in that documentary. You like sports documentaries, I figured.
What's watch The Redeemed tam.
Yeah, it's on Netflix. It came out in twenty twenty two.
Okay, I'll watch that.
I mean what I heard in that is that he's going to get it.
If your knee is hurting you better you just not keep doing those sprints.
Yeah, I mean listen, I'm sure it's not perfect for everybody, but I really enjoyed it because I do that same negotiating yea with myself, not about the knee pain, but just about like I don't have it today, I'm tired. And sometimes if you push through a little bit of that, not the knee pain stuff, but you're like, oh man, I've gotten on the bike a bunch and been like, oh, it's not here for me today. Yeah, And then I'm like, I'll just fit. I'll just do another you know, five ten minutes. And then you do them. You do that five to ten minutes and you're like, oh, I do have it today.
Oh yeah, and then.
You can you can really go. But some days you just don't have it.
I think it's about what it really helps is when you're having those doubts of like I can't do this, just take it down. Like if you're on a run and you're like, fuck, I can't do this, start just just slow down instead of I've talked about this before instead of just stopping, just slow down, because I think we just think of like not running the whole time is failure. But you will be able to run switch faster if you just just jog for a little bit. Yeah, and don't stop, just make it less like that plates class, I was dead set on leaving, Like I was like, after this next thing, I can't do this, And I go, why don't you just like modify this to make it easier and opposed to giving up, and that really helped me get through the whole thing as opposed to like it has to be all or nothing. Yeah, just slow down a little bit, like if you're on a treadmill, just start walking and get through a couple songs and go okay, and a couple songs. If I still don't like this, then but just just take it, don't. You don't have to meet yourself where you were yesterday all the time sometimes like.
Emotionally, what do you mean? What do you mean by that?
Like if you were if I was on the treadmill yesterday and I did this workout and it's like, oh, I should be able to repeat that every day. That was a hard core, like I might not have it the next day because my hormones are in bounced. I didn't get enough sleep. I'm just like emotionally not there. Like I can do I don't have to repeat. Just because I did that yesterday, I should be able to do it today. Like, no, it's okay, today's different. I'm different.
Do you have a tendency to because I have a tendency to negotiate with myself in those moments. So that's why I think that one hits me, like I will be like I'll do to tomorrow or I'll make it.
Oh, I do the I'll do to tomorrow all the time tomorrow. Literally never ever doubled up the next day on anything.
Yeah that I've ever promised myself.
We got to go to break, and I promise I'll give way more on the next break or on the next double. Yeah, I'm gonna double up and it's gonna be even better because I was kind of slowing down this first one. Okay, we'll be right back and then we're back. So we almost bought a house. Oh we were. We've been like looking for a house because we got a dog and I've been talking about it. You know, we want that yard and that's been the big and we're just kind of like bursting at the seams with crap in every room and we are ready and I am ready. And we were looking at a house and it's bricks.
St.
Louis houses have bricks on the.
Yeah, it was most beautiful, beautiful painted brick was kind of known for was it was it brick?
I don't you could ask me about this house, and I promise you, I don't know. We saw this house for ten minutes.
What was the roof made?
Well, and now I know what the roof was. It's called give me the first letter. It's called.
Shake shake. Yeah. Yeah, it's a shake wooden roof that has to be replaced every one hundred years, sixty sixty to one hundred years. And so we was going to use the house eighty three, so it was going to be needed to be replaced eighty one.
Yeah, around right right around in the eighties or.
Yeah, so it's gonna be you have to be replaced the next ten years or so probably, but that was yeah, so it could be president or not. And then we uh, yeah, we we saw it for like ten minutes because we only we had to tour it right before we were going to the airport to go to Europe. Little did we know we didn't need to rush to the airport. We could have just I mean.
Little little did you know?
What do you mean?
Well, I knew we had time.
No, I mean like we had way more time because it took us like three days to get to Europe.
Oh yeah, yeah, sorry.
So we we rushed through the house, which actually I.
Liked every time we see a house, it should be right before NICKI has to get to these.
I love having an out like we gotta go.
We had not time to chat like I got and I really didn't need any more time. I didn't feel like this is I wish I could see it again. Oh my god, whatever the dog's doing right now is really good. I didn't feel like I needed much more. I was like, okay, this is this is good. I get a sense of it. I'm someone who can make a decision really quickly.
Oh yeah, how big is the house? How many bedrooms?
It was like four.
Bedrooms, thirty eight hundred square feet.
That's pretty big.
Yeah yeah, but it's it's it felt like yeah big, but within the it felt like a smaller house, but it wasn't.
It's hard because we're going to get a really nice house, but we don't have a family, and like Saint Louis, all their houses are like for people with family.
Dining room, here's where the kids are. Here's that.
I'm never gonna throw a dinner party.
I'm never gonna.
Use a stone like Chris.
We're gonna learn to cook.
Like you know, you have the girls.
Girls trip, we are gonna go to Serina's. What are we doing like this?
Like? No, this house would have been perfect for girls trips.
Actually yeah, but I don't want to be at my house on a girl's trip.
No offense to my girls. I just I want to go for my This.
Was your birthday party, like you know, three or four months ago. This house would have been great for that.
Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, there's there's a pool. There was a tennis court.
Are you kidding at this house?
Yeah?
Yeah, tennis court, yes, tennis.
I do not play tennis.
But I was going to because the only reason I realized the only reason I don't play tennis is because ever since I was a child and my dad would take me up to the tennis court, I am so embarrassed about being bad at tennis, and when you're bad at tennis, it's not just about other people at the tennis court might see you being bad, that's one thing, but when you're bad, it affects their game because your balls flying over into their court. So like, I can't stand being bad in front of people, and then I also can't stand that my badness is going to impact their goodness, and so I would never go. So this was like, oh my god, I can maybe learn to be good at tennis enough.
This is like with pilates.
I had to go privately to get in shape good enough to go take it in front of people in a clase.
So I took.
Privates and now I don't take privates anymore because I know what I'm doing. So this would have been privates for me. Even tennis lessons privates, well, even lessons which I did take as a kid. You would be practicing, you would have your tennis lesson and in front of private tennis lesson at a court where other people were playing, so people still were witnessing it.
It's too embarrassing.
I don't like it.
You can also actually have extra lines on there and making it into a pickleball court, so you can play what I'm talking about.
I definitely thought about that.
It was a different kind of.
Material, ah, the wrong material.
Yeah.
But the house was great. It was perfect, and in the end it didn't work out and it was like perfectly like down the priced all the things that that ended up happening. We were like, we would be happy if it happened and happy if it didn't happen.
I got a little bit into a war.
Well there was there's something going on, and I guess Ark bought it somebody else. You know, we went up pretty high on yeah, like a really decent amount, like twenty five percent. It's pretty good, and we thought.
We got a cash it's a mortgage or that's all.
No, well whatever it is. But we were we put together a good offer and they end up going with somebody else. But it was like I was, I was like forty one. I was like fifty one forty nine on the whole deal.
Me too, And I feel like that's.
But the house is perfect. That was perfect, perfect, it's closer.
You know. Really excited about though, is that we get to do this all over again because.
You were excited about that.
Yeah, I do now, I really I don't.
I don't want to spend a lot of time looking at houses, and I don't. I've already talked about the podcast. I don't want to talk to realtors. I don't want to pretend I like a place. I don't want to have to do the schmoozy shit. I hate that, and I've been told that it really is exhausting, and I and I and I don't. I'm not apologizing. I do not like it, and it's the way it should be. We shouldn't have to be fake nice to people that are selling something that's millions of dollars. I shouldn't have to justify why I don't like it. I should be able to just be like nope and then turn and leave, and no one should be like she's a bitch, Like it's not. It's okay that I don't like something that's three million dollars.
But you're coming up with that idea that you have to schmooze with the.
Real because everyone that comes with me does like when we view a house, well, we're just you're being nice.
Well no, I mean you're just being a human being. I'm not. I'm not like like becoming some different person than it's like I'm just being like, oh I like this, I like that. Oh this isn't going to work for us?
Yeah, yeah, no, I I get that. I that's the part that I just I just when I want to leave, I just want to leave and I don't want anything.
I have a hack hack because I did that this weekend. I I was walking my dog and I know there was an open house around the corner from me, and I always go to the open houses to see how much you know they cost.
Yeah, and just to like snoop around see how they.
Before I walked into the open house, I called my dad and I was on the phone with my dad when I walked in, So when the realtor stood up, I was like, Hi, I'm on the phone. I just want to see look around and see you have a sheet and that They couldn't say anything to me.
They can't you I'm on the phone, like I'm.
On the phone my dad. But I wanted to see the place. And I was in and out in like five minutes.
That's so good.
It worked great, and outside my dog with me. But three point four million dollars this house was how mnuch your feet hold? I will go get talk amongst yourselves. I'll get that sheet because this is this is, let me.
Say, believable talking on the phone thing I can't do because I'm usually touring it with my Raildor and Chris and like one of our moms, So that wi't work.
Yeah, I mean you don't enjoy it.
The car is good.
You don't enjoy this process as much as the rest of us too. Like my mom is a house guy. Your mom is a real estate person. Total house guy. Yeah, me house guy. We love houses. I would go. I would go look at new houses every day of the week if I had the time.
That and what I like Zillow. I'm a Zillow house girl. I like looking at quick pictures. I like looking at aerial shots. I like sending links and looking at links, going and touring the house. If we're alone with our us four, even if you guys are house people, I could stay all day. But like being watched by someone who either lives there or someone who's showing the place. I feel like I feel nervous.
Who's so you think they've got expectations of you and you that you have to meet. But we're just looking at a house.
Yeah, But but Noah, what were you just saying?
Who is home?
I think that's so awkward if anyone is home, Like when you.
Try to babysit and the parents would be home while you babysit. It's like me, I'm not gonna do anything weird. Just trust speed.
It's the real estate agent and that's that's. Oh god, It's totally typical.
And they're always nice.
They're always just like, I'm gonna leave you guys alone, and they kind of just go sit in a room and like scroll on their phones, which is like, so the way this it's fine.
It's all my own shit.
This is not something that anyone who's listening in the Saint Louis area who's like, well, I'm going to show a house to Nikki and she's gonna hate that I'm there. It's not that this is my own stuff that I'm putting on it. That is not your problem.
I don't think any of these people they do this hundreds of times a year. I don't think they're taking anything personally about a house that isn't theirs that they're trying to sell. That's a good point, Like they're not like they're they're like, wait, you don't think the breakfast nook is big enough.
Here's my problem is sometimes I walk into a house and I know right away I hate it and I will never want to be in it, and then I have to walk through the rest of it, and that is the problem.
Well, do you want to in those situations? Would you just want to leave and let me and your mom go through it?
Yes? But no, because then you guys will be like I predict you guys will be like, she's such a stick in the mud and she's doing this like obstinate teenager thing of like like why can't she just tough it out? And so I'll just tough it out. But I will say that I some times like I just don't like doing anything. I'm like Kim Ktrol, I don't want to do anything for even a second that I don't want to do right, But which is a bratty thing to say.
But I think you're also not realizing that it's a learning experience to go through houses to see what you do and don't like about it. So if you go into the first room and say I'm never going to get this house, you're missing out on an opportunity to learn about other things that you might like about it.
That's a good point. That's a good point.
I guess I would like to say I hate it, and I want everyone to know that we're just now going through this to learn things, and we're not we're not entertaining getting this, and I'm not going to pretend that I want to ina getting it.
It's so unnecessary, it's like completely unnecessary. But why do you want Why do you have the urge to be like, just so everybody here knows I'm not getting this house when that doesn't matter to anybody in that moment. Okay, it's the same thing the matter to zero people. And then at the end of you be like, I'm not interested in It's like okay, cool.
It's the same thing as first dates, Like I wanted, I need this person to know I will never be with them, like I I but tough like sticking on. That's why I didn't go on dates, because I think this person I will know immediately and if I have to stay after I know, it's no it feels and I'm sorry to compare it to this like a little bit of a rape, no much micro micro' doing something against your will, sexual harassment.
Well, that's what That's what micro rape as well.
Like I'm saying it is, you are enduring something that you don't want and that you actively just doing it for niceties.
What you're doing it to be nice.
There are.
They're not as funny and give me a break.
God, you guys are gonna get me canceled by your reactions.
I obviously don't think that walking.
Through a house I don't want is akin to rape. I'm not saying that it's I'm making a joke, but I do think that it is a micro It's a feeling that is on the spectrum where the rape is like miles and miles thousands of miles on the one side. And then walking through a house you don't like and having to endure something you don't want to do and you already know you don't want to do and you're only doing it because you're scared or because you're being nice, is on the spectrum.
Final answer, Yes, No, there's a lot of things like the comedian and sometimes.
I make comparisons that are bonkers. Yeah, like the other day, fat person.
I mean sometimes I feel like, you know, I'm walking around my shoes ontied. I got to bend over and tie it, and I'm like, this is like a rape.
No, it's not the same way. They're not tying your shoe because you're scared. I mean maybe you are. You're scared of tripping. You're not tying your shoe because you're trying to appease someone else. Maybe yeah, if you're walking to a restaurant and they're like sure, Like that's the reason I got mad at a golf course when they're like, you can't come in and play because you don't have a collared shirt.
I was like, if I went out and bought a collared.
Shirt, It's like it fade in with these people, Like that is an indignity. I don't want to suffer, and I feel it makes me hate myself that I'm giving into this thing I don't even like because I'm trying to fit in and be nice and not get it.
Is funny. There's a size like a character who has dealt a minor inconvenience. Then they respond by going, you're ripping me.
Well, okay, I will say that. Into the woods there is a the Witch's wrap. She goes he was rooting through my rude bag, goes rating my Arugala ripping up the RAPI and my champion, my favorite and in.
It she goes, he was me raping me, she says it.
And so that is why I feel like it is a term that I can just Obviously, if I had been raped, I probably wouldn't make these jokes. I haven't been. I know that I could be. I know that I'm lucky that I haven't. I'm not minimizing rape. I am if you have been, Please don't take offense that I'm saying this. I am obviously making a joke. But yes, I think that if you looked up the definition of rape, this would fit in it.
Well, actually I just looked up the definition of rape and it's the second definition is an outrageous violationation.
Okay, so I said it's a micro rape.
So it is a micro outageous violation.
Or it's a micro act or instance of robbing or despoiling or carrying away a person by force.
Okay, I feel force.
And yes, I prefer the word in dignity.
I know I'm a.
Big these there's constantly weird face with these just small little yes, I have to use it instead of little you have to say whittle wittle.
Rapes every single day we're dealing with.
No, I'm offended.
Speaking of rapes. I do have this the sheet from this house.
Yell how many square feet? What are we dealing with?
So zero point sixteen acres for the lot. The entire lot is points of fine which small. That's small.
I do not know what an acre was is like songs about Okay, okay.
The proximen square feet of the house is twenty six hundred. It's four bedrooms, five bathrooms, single family duplex. No pool, hardly a backyard.
Does it say no pool?
It does? It literally says I'll show it, says pool. No, I don't want to Actually, I don't want.
To show the honey.
Yeah, it says pool.
No.
Three point four million dollars. This is better saying real That's unacceptable in America for houses to cost that much.
Oh, I mean, like that's some good real estate though, like is in Culver City, like so nice and so safe and.
It is, But three point four million dollars, that's like that's a that should be a mansion. You can go to you know, uh uh Ventura and get a mansion for three point four million dollars. Why are we why is this house this duplex single floor, one floor duplex that's only slightly bigger than my apartment four million dollars?
Understand millions of dollars?
Like it doesn't make sense to me when it's when we were like going up on price for this house, I was like, yeah, let's just go blank, point blank, and I was just adding points to it.
Yeah, not even like and I just loved the point.
I won't get. I didn't get a T shirt because it's like forty I think it's ten dollars too much. Yet I was just throwing points on to this house that I've seen for ten minutes.
Nicky's concept of money is like completely hilarious, Like she, yeah, she won't buy a T shirt that feels overpriced, but then we'll have no problem adding points to a million when it comes to the house.
Problem does even does it even bat an eye equal money to me? Like it just is like it's it's.
So also like a future expense. It's like it's not really concrete.
And I do know that now. It's like if I know that, obviously I could resell this house. Like it's just me put my bank is now this house. I finally understand this concept of like I'm not actually money, it's just like a concept of the money. And it's just if my money was in the stock market, which it is, it's just as risky, if not more than putting it in this house.
It's all risk. It's all risk management. That's the entire thing about investing.
Yeah, well, but like sa are the safest investment. Oh real estate? Yeah, real estate.
Yeah, I mean everyone knows that.
I just was scared of getting a house because of like maintenance and stuff and like having to call a tree trimmorments and commitments. But this one I could, I knew I could. You could just sell it, like you can get out of it. And also it didn't have a basement. And I feel like most of my friends who have house issues it emanates in the basement.
They're always talking about the basement.
It's flooding, it's too dry, there's mold, there's mice. By the way, can I just say, if you are someone who's dealing with mice or any kind of rodent situation in your house, if you get a sticky trap, you're the worst person, a serial killer, You're a horrible Do not get I know that glue traps are readily available. You're a masochist, you're a bad person. Just get an instant kill thing if you want to kill them. I just bought Taylor a bunch of humane mouse traps.
Have you seen the ones where they just go into a bucket and they like, they just climb up a ramp to a bucket and then they just go.
Poop like warrior?
Yeah, yes, stunt.
Yeah.
I have one that they like a piece of cheese and then like a marble goes down a shoot and then spins around a thing and then it goes that's fun and then eventually a cage drops on them.
Okay, go video. Yeah, just don't get glue traps. But yes, I think most of the problems, well this is just just no basement. And I liked that because no basement, there's no kids coming over being like can we come playing? Like a basement's just like you're a house for kids.
Yeah right, yeah, it kind of it was like it would prevent us from having kids.
Or getting murdered down there, Like.
Yeah, you'd never get murdered.
Every horror movie, you know, you dye someone's dying in the basement.
I mean absolutely there's there's' they're murky, they're mysterious.
When I was in college, I had a house that I lived in with four other guys, and there was this vent that I guess this doesn't really have a lot to do with basements, but this would remind me of There was this vent in the kitchen on the kitchen floor, which I guess had something to do with the air system, and whenever we would have house parties, somebody would pee into the vent inevitably and that would go down to the basement. Oh, this is what your this is what you pay your kids to go to college to do.
It's college houses are disgusting, the stories and things that happened.
No, I mean, I can't believe I slept in that house when there were like every couple of weekends someone would be pissing in.
The air vent and that was just a given.
Yeah, And how many people have peed in the air vents over the decades this house has been there. It was considered the party house because the address it was right across the street from campus and the address three two It was three two one, and everyone called it the three two to one house. And when we first moved into the house. Random dudes would show up to our house with beer and be like what's going on and be like, what are you talking about? It like party time, because it was like established this house was the party house, and we had to re establish the culture of the house and say only parties when we throw the parties.
So you would go in that basement to clean up the piss.
We would do nothing.
People would just piss in the event and be like, well, there's nothing we can do in the kitchen. It would go into the event and then into the basement.
What's your policy on peeing in public? Like, you would never do that. I can't imagine you would do it in a way that anyone would ever see you do it. Because we were at the fish show and in the parking garage at five pm at night, six pm at night was a guy was pissing. And I saw at SLEW which is Saint Louis University on campus. I saw a grown man pissing and I saw the tip of his penis. I saw his penis as he was holding it. It was so and I just gave him a disgusted look. I think he was already drunk, So I guess drunkenness plays a part in this. But it is cool that you guys can do that anywhere and just let it go, like empty your bladders wherever. But totally disgusting. I couldn't believe I had to see that was vile, vile. Yeah, but it is nice that you can do it.
It's one of the greatest things about being a guy.
I would say, I would think so, but we didn't get the house. And I'm I am happy. I know you're like, what, No, you're not. I am happy to look at Zillow yeah, links and to like, now it opens up a world because now I know what our limit is. Yes, now, and we went a little bit above what I thought was safe to go, and now it's like, okay, let's look in this range.
Yeah.
Yeah, it kind of changed the range. I mean, we did learn that to get something that we love is going to take a little bit more than what we wanted to do.
Yeah, but that's always the case. You always got to pay a little bit more.
You know what I'm looking for in a house, Like what my number one requirement is? I want a balcony.
Oh yeah, balconies are amazing.
I love just being in my room and being able to step out of the balcony balcony and have like an alone moment or even with you, like but like having a little it's like a room of one's own because we're going to share a bedroom, but like a balcony, I feel like would be like like just a place where I can go and just get it.
I don't know, I just why do I want a balcony so you can.
Be outside without putting shoes on and just kind of outside for a little bit. Doesn't have to be a whole thing.
Well, that actually leads into totally. That leads into something we were just talking about. Oh yeah, being outside like without the effort of any outdoorsiness at all.
Yes, getting some fresh air without.
Having to leave the house or own anything from ARII yeah, yes, we will get to that in a second. Because on girls Chut today there was inspired by my therapy. I was I'm really focusing on why. Well, we'll talk about what we get back. I don't need to get into it now, we'll be right back.
Okay.
So I was in therapy yesterday and I was talking about a thing that I've talked about this podcast a ton, which is like being down on myself because I'm not like other people and I just wish I liked things that I don't like, which is always boggled Chris Conby's.
It makes no sense to me why.
It's like I don't like things you don't like.
Unique to a certain type of person. And then maybe just girls Chat, I don't know if everybody on girls.
Chat, No, no one does.
Nobody, no, everyone is a little bit like that.
She yes, it's me and Sara Lena. I mean, yeah, I just I don't know, girl, this I just heard. I just heard our friend got cancer, and should I get cancer? I don't know, girl, it just sounds maybe I should do Like we make jokes that like, she just anything anyone does. She's like, maybe I should, I should do that.
But nobody else is like that.
So it's me and Sara Lena. Okay, it's that those are the ones that really suffer this. Everyone else in gross chat definitely acknowledges that they don't like things, but they don't seem to want.
They don't care that they don't like.
It, So explain what it is. Basically, it's like you are obsessed with one figuring out why you don't like things. That other people like it.
I would. I would, because Anya was saying, like, what what is it about this? Like if you had if you did like the outdoors and you did like fresh linens and organizing closets and having your jewelry organized or whatever it is that you want hard like drangesh, Yeah, if you liked harvesting high ranges, which is something on you was doing the other day that I could not have felt more detached from it, and like how that would ever be something anyone would want to do or feel pride in, Like I can't connect to it at all, and it makes me feel sad.
And why is that?
And I think because a girl who harvests hydranges as someone who like is like taking their time to smell things and like likes beautiful things. Thus they are beautiful, Thus they are desirable. Yet thus they get attention from people as being like feminine and desirable. And I feel like that is what I want. At the bottom of it all is I want to be desirable. And why do I want to be desirable? Because being desirable gets you status. Why do I want status? Because I want to survive. It's just a survival thing.
That seems like when you're someone.
Who isn't fun and feminine and everyone doesn't want to like have sex with or like, you know, being feminine is like men want to have sex with you, which is a valuable thing. You will keep a place in the tribe if you are someone who's like, I don't like that stuff, like you're no fun and people go get out of here, old woman, and they cast you aside and you have to fend for yourself. And we know as a society, and if you are someone who is cast astray, you will not survive.
But that's like, that's I think that's been cynical about why people are motivated to do things Like Anya's not hasting hydranges because she is trying to cultivate a personality of somebody that likes doing it. I know, like she's doing that on her own.
But well, I would say it's the same thing as like I'm jealous of a girl that has a tiny waist and huge tits and a perfectly proportionate hipter waist ratio.
Wait, who are you talking about?
Exactly right, it's I'm jealous of that? Why is it? It's not okay, But it's more socially understandable to envy a woman's eye color or hair texture than it is to envy her natural disposition to like a flower.
Range thing totally like that. All of that makes perfect sense to me. That's why this is so perplexing is I've never known somebody who wants to like, like, I want to play piano more, but I don't want to want like I don't like It's so strange that you are jealous of these desires that they have, not that you want to do those.
Oh interesting, I yeah, I guess there is a distinction. Well, I think that if I know that, if I wanted to do them, I could do them. But the thing that's getting me in the way of doing them is wanting to do them. So I want the thing that's going to get me to do it.
But why do you even want something that you don't want. That's the thing that I don't understand.
Because it would make me more desirable and more socially acceptable.
Well, I think it's it's also like you feel like, what's wrong with me that I don't want that? I think that's a bigger, a big part of it.
I wrote it down in my notebook yesterday. What's wrong with me?
And I was like, oh, that's the next title of my special of my life, of my next song I'm going to write is What's wrong with Me? Because that is like an underlying issue in my life of like why why, Like honestly, my parents used to ask me what's wrong with you all the time. It's there's something it's ingrained in me in the way that eating carbs will make me fat, even though I know it's not true, like there's something wrong with me that I don't like adventure, which is something my family does value very much. In fact, my sister made a list of did I say this on the podcast yesterday?
Seven things about your dad? Yeah, seventy for seventy.
Did I say this that you did? No. My sister made a list of seventy things that you know for my dad's seventieth birthday, seventy things that we love about E. J. Glaser, And one of them was like, you've cultivated a love of the outdoors in your entire family, And then in parentheses it says, except well except maybe Nikki and I just felt like othered, you're weird, You're different, like it just you just put it in.
I think it all stems from that stuff, because because like.
What, like no one else feels this way about me.
Like to have a deficiency, to feel deficient because you don't like decorating houses like one of your friends. Every time one of your friends does something that feels interesting or even like feminine to you, you're like, why am I not like that?
Yeah? Yeah, I go right to that.
It's never like oh cool Sara Lene is into like you know, old records or like you know, French music from the nineteen seventies.
No, I am like, why can't I be into that?
Right?
Because it seems like the thing that is most desirable about a woman is someone who's like fun. Like you even asked a question the other day of like I forget what it was. It was about like who of your friends would you recommend for this thing? And we all Kirsten met me, and you all unequivalently were like, oh Kirsten because she's the most fun. And I was just like, god, like why I would like to be the answer to that, but I'm not because I'm not fun, Like why can't I be fun? And like then I forced myself to be fun, and I go, you know what, I will go get on that roller coaster, you know, like when the other night we were at this the music, this amazing thing called Prater in Vienna, which is an open air theme park like six Flags that you don't even buy a ticket, you'll buy a.
Ticket to get it, and you just buy a ticket for an individual.
Run and it feels it felt so Austrian. There was hardly any tourist there. It was like mostly local Austrians just going out having a great time. And you go to this like cool old school carnival kind of with all these like updated cool rides, and Chris and Matt were going on the bungee thing and that like insane insane rides man, Like I can't even describe what they were. One was like it pulls you down like a slingshot and then it slings you into the air probably two hundred feet one hundred and fifty feet, I.
Don't really know, something like that.
And then another.
One was like it's a long poll and on each end there's like a twirling thing with eight Yeah.
I saw the videos you posted on Instagram of these rides. They looked I would now I wouldn't even look at those rides there. They would make me vomit if I.
Saw the same life.
Thank you say, what are you disgusted with yourself because you don't want to be a part of those rides?
Brian, No, no, I am. I'm just generally disgusted overall by the concept. I don't understand I guess I can. I don't understand why anyone want to put themselves through that.
I don't understand you don't feel disconnected to people who do and like feel like, man, I wish I was more adventurous, Like it seems like a cool thing to want to go on those rides, Like that would be a cool person that does someone who doesn't do it.
But I think you're putting all You're like labeling everything is like good or bad. You do a lot of this, like it's either good or bad, it's cool or uncool or this or that. Like somebody's just like, oh, I just like going fast or I like going upside down, and you not going upside down doesn't make you uncool, it just.
Makes if not like any people.
We all agree the X Games are cool, Like that's cool, Tony Hawk is cool.
Someone who's like.
I am scared to go fast is literally a door that is like a door.
Wasn't It's not scared, you don't want to you're not interested in it.
Yeah, honestly they get scared.
I think, like if you're putting up Tony Hawk or whatever, that's more his personality. But people to me who go on these crazy rides and skydiving and all that, like I don't think very highly of them.
That's so interesting.
I felt so alone because we were at this restaurant and we were overlooking this theme park and Chris and Matt are talking about which ones they wanted to go on, and I was just like, what's wrong with me that I don't want to go on these? Like I wish I was a cool girl that wanted to do it. No one was making me feel that way. I was choosing on my own. And then I decided to go on Instagram and post a poll of like who would go on this ride and who wouldn't and who would say maybe to this? And I made it very clear like that's why I put it maybe because I thought some people might be on the fence and I don't want them to say yes if they really wouldn't, and like, you know, smart, And I got back that not only am I in the majority, I am in the vast majority. I thought it would be the other way around. I thought I was going to be in the fifteen percent of people who wouldn't do this. I was in the seventy four to seventy six percent of people who would never do be dose.
That's not exactly an accurate poll because the focus group was your fans that well that I don't know.
I feel like I have a wide birth of fans that like different. I feel like, actually my fans are like a wide arrange. I'm like, I don't know if.
You did the same poll to the followers of I don't know, like I.
Can feel good about myself.
I'm trying to put you back down, Nicky about the point down.
I don't want to go up and down.
I want to stay on them spinning in a circle. What about spinning a big circle?
You know, we were debating at dinner whether to go this theme park or whether to go I was maybe thinking of going back to the Tailor Swift sing along and actually dressing in my Tailor Swift outfit for it and making some videos, and Chris later on was like, oh, I'm sorry. We went to the theme park. We should have gone back and done your tailor swift thing. And I was like, I will say I wanted to. I like watching people go on these things and doing them, and I want to hear about it. It's like the same way that I bought Matt a muffin the other day that I really wanted, but I just couldn't bring myself to eat it. And I was like, can I just.
Why that was a pasta muffin?
Even pasta? Like, I just want to watch people eat things that I wish.
I know, it's fun to watch, it's fun to like did I never ride any rides? If I go to Disney World, I don't ride any It's all I do is I get that turkey leg and I and I eat the turkey leg. And that's my experience at disney World. And everybody else likes to go up like Ali loves rides, she loves all that shit, and I don't like any of it. But right, I don't know. I mean, it's uh.
Yeah, ivies, I don't Yeah, maybe that's how it is.
And every time I try to do something like that, I get sick.
Yeah, I mean, okay, well I don't get sick, but I did, so I tried to be cool, and I was like, you know, not even try to be cool. I was like, you know what, you actually are in such a bad mood. Maybe a little bit of G forces would lift you out of this and just like kind of shake you up.
G Force should be the name of your next special.
Wow.
And so we got on this roller coaster that was honestly one that I could handle like it was Loop D Loop.
I felt like so fine about it. I wish I would have done.
It, because afterwards I did get in it, I sat down and then I go nope, because I saw the Carnie running it and smoking a cigarette and just seem to like blackadaisical, and I just go, nope, I'm going to lose my entire family and all my loved ones.
On this ride.
Then I think it's going to kill them. But I'm not gonna die on this. So I got off the thing. Later on, Chris and Lauren and Matt all said that was horrifying, like that was really tough, And now I wish I would have done it, so I could have been because I do think I could have handled it.
HM.
Lauren was shook, was shook after why why having done it? What is it really that much fun that it's worth risking your life?
I don't it's not risking your life.
I mean, I know what the chances are of dying on a roller coaster, and it's slim to fucking none. It's risking your life walking up to the roller coaster and maybe twisting your ankle in a way that would land you in the hospital, and then you get sepsis because you're in the hospital.
That's for rest final thought.
So I made a list of all the things that I because Annya was like, I really want to know, like what you wish you liked, and I just want to read my list. And then Taylor and Curson also made lists of things that they don't like. Theirs are different because they don't care that they're like this, They just don't like them. And it made me feel less alone. I thought maybe some of the listeners who felt the way I feel might feel less alone if they find out that other people also don't like these things, Because I will say one of the only people that makes me feel so good about myself is Larry David because he's made a career on not liking people or things or activities, and it's like one of the most lovable, amazing things about him.
But the thing that makes him lovable is he's like completely accepted it, in owning it. The problem is you feel great shame, yes, about all of it, and I blame you, great shame my dad.
But I love my dad and it's one of the seventy reasons I do love him is because he is I love. He loves what he loves and if you don't love it, he's completely perplexed by it and will make you feel a little bit about it. No, he's amazing. My Dad's like the fucking best. I love him so much. He's going to the Emmy's with us, and he's texting me about it right now. Okay, So things I wish I liked harvesting high dranges, clothes and good soft linens, organizing things, cooking, hiking, seeing sites, long showers, decaded body treatments, smells, sense decor, baking, tracking my cycles, knowing when foods disagree with me, getting excited by cute dogs, talking to strangers, having good aesthetic taste, having a simple skincare grooming routine, being scared and aware of toxins and things. Knowing when things are too rich or too sweet. Can I just say any girl that's like I can't eat that's too rich or like too sweet? Like fuck you girl? Like how do you know your body so well? How are you so in tune? Being someone who eats and then says I'm full, I can't eat anymore? Oohing and aweing about wallpaper or a baby, keeping a refrigerator, clean flowers, gardening, doing things, adventures, going to the beach, sitting by a pool, swimming in a pool, talking to people on planes, the Olympics, tennis, golf, yoga, playing with kids, Sipping a small coffee When I see someone sipping a small coffee when you could afford to get a bigger one, I don't understand you. I don't get you. And whenever I, whenever the off chance comes that I do get a small coffee because I'm around people who are also getting coffees, and I don't want to seem like a crazy binge eater with my big trough of VENTI latte, I will get like a small coffee. I feel like Kate Middleton when I get one, I am like I am a princess. I feel so elevated, like I don't know why I don't do it more because it makes me feel amazing, But it's also I feel depressed because I want more good taste and fine jewelry. I literally can't tell the difference between a Forever twenty one necklace or a Cardier one. Matching socks, camping, washing my feet, pedicures and manicures. Okay, and then this is tailor's Tailor is so funny and such a good writer, and you will see it in just a second. Okay. She was like things I hate. Long relaxing showers, unwinding in a hot tub, dainty doilies, perfect bamboo cutlery, cooling sweet linens, creating a joyful bouquet well deserved, splurging on a simply perfect pair of heels, baking a fill the room and fill your heart crusty warm pie, snuggling up with your rider die and chatting on the couch with some tea gay tea when the gaber reesers do a little swirly on the top of your gay coffee. Jesus Christ. People who gently wish you affirm their gender even though you don't even know them. People who talk to you ever small talk on the straws. By the way, Taylor dated someone non binary and is so respectful of their pronouns and more than anyone I've ever met in my life, So don't come at her. People who talk to you ever small talk on pampering put a pamper on it, shitty ass. I don't know what that means. A beautiful, embossed diary full of life's little treasured secrets, whispered secrets, a child's laughter, a child's anything, handmade soap and delicious smells, perfume, or anything that smells like anything being feminine.
Cozy fall walks.
This is just exercise. You can't trick me a vigorous and blood pumping hike through some hellscape. No thanks, savoring a pumpkin spice latte, pumpkin spice fuck. And then Kirsten made a list of her things, well, Taylor's.
Taylor's got a theme there. She kind of hates like mommy bloggers, she influenced women influencers. Those are those are like titles of blogs from the like Autumn Harvest cooking.
Yes, And there's a distinction between hating stuff and why am I not like other people?
Like that she does not want to be those things. I want to be almost all of those.
This is the first ten minutes of one of George Carlin's specials People. I could do without that when he talked to the list for like twenty minutes.
And then I liked Kirsten's list, And because Kirsten is I think, the most balanced, fun, adventurous person I know, and she has a list of things she doesn't even like things that she things I hate that people like card games, bowling acts, throwing or escape rooms, brewery tours, tie dice shirts, swing, growing and harvesting vegetables, races or five K most museums, vision boards, most crafts, antique shopping, Thriftspping these lists made me feel so good.
I think people I want to be too many You just want to be too many things.
What I just need is just.
More your disposure to things that other people I just want to feel like other people. I'm not alone. That poll I did made me feel so good. I needed to know I'm not alone.
I can't imagine a world, living in a world where anything was available to me to love and wanting to do, wanting to want to do all of those things I know you, well, it's too much.
You've got to join us, Nikki, You've got to join us and enjoying.
Okay, hating things okay, okay.
Can't you join the team on that one?
I will say my Imposter Syndrome book is really hitting at the root of all of this, which is like you feel alone.
Like if I feel alone, that's when I feel shame.
Is like, because I was the only one in my family who didn't like these things, I wasn't exposed to other people who didn't like these things. And now that I'm getting more exposure to, like, oh, I Larry David is very popular and he's a comergion curmudgeon about all this stuff, it makes me feel like maybe it's okay for me to be that. Like you need to know that you're not alone. And this book that I'm reading about imposter syndrome, they're like, the first thing we want to let you know is everyone has this.
You are not special.
Everyone seventy percent of people suffer with imposter syndrome. And then it's so funny because I posted about the book on my Instagram, and my one of my pilates private teachers who got me to the place where I can go to private classes.
Now.
She wrote to me and said, currently reading this and I'm.
Like you, you who I look at as like the Queen of Pilates knows everything about body mechanics, perfect looking, like perfect style, Like you have to read this book. Okay, maybe it's okay, Maybe I have acceptance around. Maybe accepting the fact that I have this thing that other people suffer with is gonna make me release it a little bit more. And I think that's really the key, is like I just need to know I'm not alone. And I think that's when I start to feel like girls. That is like everyone wants a baby and I don't. I go what's wrong with me? Like I just I need to have a more plexic group of people. I need to expose myself to more. I actually need to talk to more stranger.
Yeah, that's exactly what you need. Your first instinct is always what's wrong with me? If I'm not like that?
Which is the title of my new.
Song and Special and Special and book, the motto of my y en book, like I literally wrote it down yesterday.
Podcast coming to Patreon.
Ye did you see a.
Clip of What's Wrong?
What's wrong with Thing? Do you see the the post of Kamala where she realizes what her, Yes, what her?
What's the catchphrase.
Is gonna be They're weird or whatever.
We will not go back.
It's wonderful.
And then all of a sudden, she like they they the crowd like really lights up and she kind of looks around and then she's like, we will not go back, and she kind of like says it again and then they start chanting it, and it's like it's not even like a cringe moment. It's like a beautiful moment where she's like she finds it's like a scene from Veep. It's amazing.
It's like like a lightning bolt struck her, like from a cartoon. Yeah.
People were actually comparing it to that You're so smart. Yeah, like people like found a clip and viep that is like identify, wish you.
Were smart too. Why can't you be smart?
But that's what I did in therapy yesterday where she was like where I go, Honestly, my whole thing is like what's wrong with me? And she was like this this constant question of what's wrong with me? And I was like, I wrote it down. I'm like, that's a really good special. That's a good that's a good direction to go in. Yeah for the next spash, so get excited. I will not go back. We will not go to that pilates class teacher because it was hard. All right, guys, thank you for listening to the show this week. I am on tour this weekend Springfield, Cape Girardo. That's Missouri for you, folks. Come out to those shows. They are going to be so much fun. I'm driving to them in my new car that doesn't keep a charge, but it's going. It's going to pretty soon. Chris Conny, thank you for being here for shows this week. Brian No, I love you. And it sounds like, yeah, no, what the Emmys are next next week two weeks from now.
Yeah, we'll talk about those.
They're coming up Creative Arts Emmies where I'm nominated and I am presenting. Spoiler alert. It will be so fun and uh we'll talk to you next week about all of that. So much more to come.
Thank you for listening. Don't be cut bye.
The Nicki Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted by me Nicki Glazer co hosted by Brian Frangie, executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior. Edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton, and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nicky Glazer Podcast on YouTube, follow at Nicki Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel
