#453 The ESPYs, TV Show Tunes, Andrew Got Mugged in Venice, Met Andy Reid!

Published Jul 17, 2024, 11:13 PM

Nikki reassembles the crew: Chris Convy, Brian Frange, and Andrew Collin to bring you a hilariously unhinged episode. They recount the ESPYs and sing their hearts out to Lonely Island and Always Sunny in Philadelphia tunes. Remember Space Olympics and Nightman? Because we sure don't remember the lyrics! Andrew shares his story of being mugged recently in Venice, plus Nikki meets NFL coach icon: Andy Reid. 

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The Nicky Kleiser Podcast.

Glaser.

Hello here, I am the Glaser Podcast. Welcome to it. I am in Los Angeles with UH. I reassembled a crew of people that was really fun to hang out with. Last time. I had like a big night in Los Angeles and the studio is really the studio has really good lighting and I had hair and makeup today because I did Conan's podcast. So I was like, let's capitalize on it. Let's reassemble the team, and let's have another podcast that with Chris Convey, Brian Frangie, Andrew Colin and Niki Glazer. You Night, Big Night recap special episode. That's what we'll call them as the mic just hit me in the face. So yeah, last night I did the sb's What's up guys?

I feel I just it just hit me.

And we looked like Jonas brothers, Which one are you?

Which one do you want to be nipples? I think there are under four? Isn't there one?

As show?

Yeah?

Well like Family Affair.

It was like on mute the other night and we were like half watching it, but I was like kind of wanting to unmute because I was like, this looks kind of good because it's a it's about people that are related to celebrities, but no one knows who the celebrity is they're related to, and they all have to like guess and try to we try at home to figure it out.

My buddy's a twin of Jake, going, oh, that identical twin.

And the show it's like they got to get him on the show, but he would be known right away because he's an identical twin. What he does do They still look the same because one of them is like a multi million dollar recording arts that reminds me of a.

Remember is it gold case from thirty Rock, the game show hosted by John McEnroe.

No, I don't worry you to.

Guess who's to guess who whose case was filled with gold? And it was always like a model that was like strug that one.

I love.

I love thirty Rock. I could revisit it all any day, all day. It's just packed, like it's just packed with less. Alec Baldwin is so good. I know I've talked about it before, but I'm like obsessed with Jimmy Glick right now. I'm kind of like coming out of my obsession. I've watched a lot in his Alex Baldwin's One with Him? Did you have you guys have seen it, and I've talked about it already, I think extensively. But I read Martin Schwartz book. I don't know if I've talked about that on here, but.

I read that book.

You did.

I don't remember any of it, but I do remember.

Yeah, and oh my god. He goes on the show What Dixie, Oh my god for that's Jimmy clicks.

Yeah.

Wife, I can't do the voice, but I want to do it so bad. I want to learn it. There's this amazing clip of him from thirty where Kirby Enthusiasm, Uh, Martin Martin and runs into Larry David on the street and he like teaches him how to do the Jimmy click impersonation because he's like, it's very interesting, and then he does an amazing Larry David to him, did you see this recently? Like was going around?

I have at the very end, I mean, Jimmy, that was the best improvised stuff. The way he moved, like when he would get up, you know and just like yes, like became huge and like you couldn't like I felt like he was like he had to stop doing it because like with like fat culture and people. Oh really, I don't know, may I don't think No.

I don't think so, because it was never like he would just eat his feelings very quickly. Damn it, I keep kidding. Domestically abused by Mike.

I don't think jim nyck Click was destroyed by fat shaming. No, I don't think its course kind of ye, the days of like ready to come Back, there was a period of time when a lot of people were dressing up as a hidden figures and they were trying to trick people, and the age of borat and it kind of just like fizzled out.

It's true.

Are you talking about the women who.

Were Yeah, the women who work for NASA they hidden figures that, Yeah, they would dress up and people kind of I know, I'm not trying to say they weren't real astronauts. They were just too fat. They were all fat.

We restart the vodcaon.

Yeah, let's welcome. Hi, welcome to the Dicluser podcast. Uh take one.

Oh yeah, so fat people are gross.

It's I didn't think it was like because I kind of like it because it is sometimes like I didn't really understand it at first, like why he's eating like his feelings. But then there's a really poignant moment with him with John Stewart and he's like, you know, he's asking about you just quit smoking, and he's describing like trying to quit smoking, and then he goes, I don't know if you and then Jimmy starts stuffing donuts in his face and he goes, I don't know if you know. I was filling a hole deep inside me with the cigarettes, and I don't know if that's something you can relate to. And donors are pouring out of his mouth that he's doing, and then you go, you go, oh my god, there's some humanity in this care like he just he's amazing. Like I'm I just got done telling Chris that I'm like, I want to be friends with Martin Short, like it's it is something that I'm going to pursue, like not in the like Taylor Swifton like no, that's not like that will happen if it's meant to be. But this, I'm like, I really want I want to affect the way, like I want to affect fate and go like I'm just gonna go. You think that's the way I'm going to become friends with Martin Shorties. I'm going to get on the show.

I'm gonna get.

Get good at auditioning. Care enough about being on a show too, Like, No, I just want to be friends with him. But I don't think that's the root I'm going to take.

There's something think you just flat out reach out to him.

You d m him?

Yeah, just flat out?

Just do you think he checked Martin checks his DM.

No, I wouldn't say DM. I would say like any email or yah through agents or something, just be like I love you, I want to hang out. I want to hang out with you.

Yes, I'm like I'm reading his book. I'm just like, oh, this is someone who is fun to hang out with because they like to entertain and they're not there, like they don't mind you just being like do jiminy and like he would just do it. I thought that way about Dana Carvey when I went to dinner with him. It was like it was a spectacle. It was a show. Me and Kyle Dunninggan were at dinner with uh Spade and we did not know that Dana Carvey was gonna be there. And then suddenly we're having it because the Spade did. He's like, I'm inviting a friend. I'm not gonna tell you who, and then you show up and it's Dana Carvey and I was just like it was the But Kyle and I left at dinner, we were like, we can't believe it.

Like he drove me back home.

And he was like, dude, you don't understand. He's my hero. Like we like recapped it, but we were both freaking out. But it was so fun because he was just you don't you don't have to be nervous because you're just watching a show.

Yeah, you almost said that to me today with Conan, I was like, hey, what time are we meeting for lunch? And you you were back co ConA wants to have lunch with us, and I was like what I started cleaning the hotel room. My god, I was getting rid of No he was in this. You were just like what you meant was some day.

Which also means never, but I was like, no, I will. I would love to have lunch. So I'm like I'm going to also seek that out, even though maybe it was something he actually doesn't want to do. But it was just offering to be nice, but he took When I got there, he was like, I need to know about this guy. Who's the guy. I've never met the guy, and I'm like, you have to meet the guy loves you. The reason I love the guy is because he loves you as much as I like. That's one of the foundations of our relationship, is like, and then I didn't get a chance to tell of them him that, Like I contacted one of his writers from back in the day, had him do a special birthday present for Chris, and like, I wrote a cone in scripts you had him.

Your wife slash fiancees. Ever, like we every like six months we end up watching like the same cone and clips. Oh yeah, the same Jim And like, do you guys ever, do you guys have anything that you do?

You guys keep coming back and share that we were that we returned to again and again, and.

That you just constant because we'll just some sometimes we'll stay ups like two in the morning and watching.

Random But I don't know if you've ever seen it's it on YouTube deep cut. Yeah, it's an only fans this double.

You watch for hours.

Yeah, we just watched for hours. I'm usually not in the room. Uh, it's on your account that one. So I uh, I know we watched this thing called Old Greg on you.

Yeah, no, I don't know what that is.

Old Greg. It's like, I'm Old Greg, Old Greg.

I don't know, I don't know who's talking.

It's okay. It's such a weird video where this guy he's like a man fish. It's an English like a duo like jokes. It's not a cartoon, no, it's kind of like Monty Python. And so he catches this guy who's a man fish name Old Greg.

He's dressed, Olivia's holding up He's just holding up Old Greg.

And then Old Old Greg kidnaps him and then they're stuck in a room and he's just like he's in love with Bailey's and like it's just like the weirdest wird Did you see this huge on YouTube like fifteen years ago.

I can't believe you you haven't seen this on Reddit because every once in a while will pop.

Up because people looks familiar.

It's like one of those cult following things where people they get onto Old Greg.

Like the which the one I'm super into is the adult Swim one. Too many cooks like that kind of thing, like a comedy phenomenon, like, yeah, it was online.

Remember the lizard that was stuck?

Whose floor?

Is this not my floor and not my problem? It was that kind of I don't know that either.

You have you ever heard the chronic what of Narnia?

Oh?

That I never was like super into. I think the first one that got me was maybe Dick.

In a Box.

Oh of the Lonely Island one.

Yeah, I don't know that it was glked until way later. I'm so into them now, but like at first, it took me a second. What was it? What's that one?

He was an alien and he had he's never had said, Okay, this.

Is I don't know the Lonely Island? You know what they gripped me? Uh, Space Olympics.

Space is so good.

It's such a good song. I love that song and I love Andy Samberg's performance in it. Like, if you haven't seen Space Olympics or what are the other ones? We need to go check out old drag and glurk.

And brace yourself because there's no no gravity.

Yeah, the Space Olympics. Wait, what are some other ones? He did? He's doing like an ad like not even an ad like a like what the opening number? Welcome to the Space Olympics, the year twenty the year forty two, take part in a grand tradition.

I keep it, I want to say, I keep your ass at the mini bar.

Yeah, but that's the worst line in the whole thing. It really is that? My god, why is that in there? You know it's it's it's fine. It's like the whole the whole thing is so good.

Swords, yeah, totally.

They start running out of oxygen. He was like suddenly he like doing this dormit. He's like, welcome to the Space Olympics. You all get one June. You're sweet. If I have lyrics in front of me, don't cover.

The lyrics, you know, i'd.

Be able to performance.

I like what I really would, because I'm I'm split right now in between like trying to be performing or trying to remember it.

And I can't do a Charlie song from Always Sunning to make up for it.

Oh god, I can do that.

Oh yeah, what song is that?

Okay, hold on, let me let me channel it. I think Andrew had to like witness me, like try to memorize this.

He the the.

Day man nightman. Yeah, nightmn sneaky and mean, spider and sand my dreams. I think I love you. You make me want to die, You make me want to cry. Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you night man. Every night you're coming to my room and pin me down with your strong arms. Yeah, you pin me down and I try to fight you. You calm inside me, you fill me up, and I become the nightman. It's just two men sharing the night. It might seem wrong, but it's just right. It's just two men sharing each other. It's just two men, like loving brothers, one on top and one on bottom, one inside and one is out. One is screaming he's so happy, and the other is screaming a passionate shout. It's the nightmare, the feeling so wrong and right man, the feeling so wrong and right man. I can't fighte you man? Will you pin me down with your strong hands and I become the night the passionate, passionate nightmare.

Yeah? Wow, well done, so long.

That's really that's really good. Now do fry day nine.

I'm thinking that we just right. We can't do this to ourselves with we can't trust ourselves. I am usually good with lyrics. You do so good with lyrics? Freakishly is my friend Kirsten. She knows every verse to every like kind of obscure eighty song. If it was on the radio and played three times, she memorized the verses back when, like you only memorize songs on the radio from hearing them, and she would commit them to memory, like there's no internet to look up lyrics?

Got photographic memory?

Are you guys? Lyrics? People like, when you listen to songs, do you care about the lyrics?

I love the lyrics. The lyrics are sometimes the most important part.

Yeah.

Is there ever a time where you like, get into a song first and you don't even like listen to the lyrics or like hear what they mean? And then suddenly one day this song you've known forever and had a relationship forever suddenly clicks and you're like, this is what it means? Have you always happen?

We hate the juice, is what I mean?

Or sometimes you hear lyrics and you don't really know what they mean, like there's some kind of kind of metaphor going on, and then you find out that.

Someone on a subreddit like explains it to you and you're like, oh.

Slavery.

The radio Hitler sings the hits Hitler.

I memorized the lyrics to one of the earliest songs I memorized the lyrics to is Paul Revere by the Beastie Boys. Oh yeah, that's a fun one to memorize the lyric I don't remember them now, No, I remember.

I could if you, like, if you started kind of going with it, because that's the thing. That song, the Charlie song. It took so long to memorize. It was like during COVID and I really committed. I was like, I have nothing else going on, and it's kind of fun to challenge yourself to like learn fast, like and that is like the way he plays it is just so erratic and funny, but it actually is like really good. So I don't know. One day I was I did that with Cardi b lyrics during.

COVID an eminem versus. It's like impossible, yeah, no, rap God, no way, no, but you could. There's seven different levels of devil, washpit and horses, human sacrifices, cannibalism. Candles Ex said some of the animals having sex with and candl mammals and rats. But I don't get into that. I kicked the habit. I just speach. That's the weapons that need through your flesh. But I never even let the me looks fresh. I got a line in my pocket on line, I got a nine in my pocket. And baby, I'm in the GoGet. Who's ready for war? I'm ready for war. I got sad some sword for any said he was wrong, he was just bo. I just had a lot of the weapon for Marshall steps he laid a head on the floor. With your body's right on the bed, on the wall, on the floor. You don't run on fourth and then and then on.

For that's really wrong. The weak or the strong? You gotta going on now? You did a biggie, you did wrong. Hail Mary full of gray. Smack the bitch in the face. Take the Gucci bag in the north face off of back, jabber if she acts, get funny with the money.

This podcast, you got your honey.

I don't want to.

I just want the papers. Kapecia Felicia. I'm out like the vapors. Who's the one they called mister Mosa the head.

Podcast?

I got so much styles. I should be done with the breakup.

Are you doing the same he's doing Biggie bigg That's not how fast you got to Anesia.

I just I can't. She don't remember ship. Just two hits, her hitting the floor and me.

Hitting the sucking on you had the I guess I was.

I was humping around and jumping around is real.

Doing morning radio.

He doesn't mean to be crass.

He doesn't want to be Yeah.

This song was Biggie was Dead and they found like track. Remember this.

Now you don't know.

The song, but I'm glad I got to hear it at different r p ms and I.

Did did the second and we did him out of order, went guarantee.

I gotta say that. At my birthday party, my birthday party, well, we did karaoke to Forget about Dre. It was the most memorable performance of the evening. People really liked it, and we like, honestly, the night before we had done karaoke the first night of my birthday weekend, and then we also did the second night because we like couldn't get the rooms booked the right room on the.

Right night, So I was like karaoke back to back.

It's all I just want to fucking sing. Like again, I'm like Martin Short, he like has Christmas parties so he can just sing. Someone was like called, he does these every year.

Yeah yeah, and.

People go, you just do these so you can like perform and sing, and he's like yeah, and then like so, I I really that's what I want to do on on my birthday. But Chris after the first night, Chris wasn't there. He had a wedding to attend. You're married now, Yeah, yeah.

I really love it.

That's how bad.

I've never been in love before, and it's.

You should try it some day. I know I've thought I felt it. That's what people always say. You know, I thought I knew love before, but it was so different now. And why do they always have to disqualify the old one?

Yes, yeah, I think it's really because they've they've got the new one going and they have to make sure she's happy.

And it's different. It's a new and you want to believe that it's And by the way, it is a different, a new love, but it does like there's something about it. It's like a better one.

Yeah.

Yeah, you have to discount the other one, but you.

Can't say that about a widow, like like you can't, Like that's what I've learned, Like you could have upgraded if your wife dies, but you can't.

I don't know. I was talking about it yesterday, like.

Okay, we Chris and I met someone recently who we were talking about his wife, and we learned in talking about his wife, his current wife, that his he met her and she like knew his ex, his widow.

Or widow who died.

Uh.

Fence. Oh yeah, and so sad. And now he's with this woman. He's so happy, and I'm like, what if this what if this was an upgrade and he but he can't ever say anything disparaging, even though it's just it's a circumstantial that he happens to also wanting to be out of it and she dies. Yeah, because also you probably trying to get out relationship with someone who's actively using fent.

Yeah, maybe he encouraged it.

Yeah, Oh yeah, I think I think this is working.

Relationship more because she was more fun, maybe on fentanyl.

No, it's fine. I think you're just passed out. No, actually no, you're like in your living room thinking you're doing coke. I think that's how it happens. We'll be right back with more shows. Surrounded by your riches. Welcome back to NIK podcast.

He should tell them about Andy Reid.

Oh yeah, so I did the I did the SPS. It was really about Andy Reid, like that will be the memory, but I did.

I presented him and Daisy Ridley.

Yeah, we're going ahead of them all. It's really fun, like you're doing a Pardon the Interruption or whatever that show is where you're like putting the categories and we're going to get to you. You're setting the same carpet.

Yeah, you got to remember.

All these Yeah, okay, toss up. Okay, So I ended up the SP's best.

Who had more fun? Glazer and Lindy Vaughn the best.

Male Athlete, which I thought I was gonna just like I was thought I was gonna do like best kiss or whatever, like they're gonna give me some like.

You know MTV categories that's mad.

Respect best like pat On the Ass that would be a good would get viewers. I looked like.

More categories in the SPS I was watching. I don't think the packages I've ever watched it from start to finish, and I didn't realize how strange. The event is overall, it's.

Like a humanitarian one.

Yes, I didn't realize that, but I didn't realize that either. It's like every other every other segments the humanitarian ward where you're just sobbing uncontrollably.

I criedredibly in the audience and I wasn't even there for the full show. We got there late because I did Kimmel before, and I cried twice before they even pulled me early to go. I say, so, I missed a lot of the show and I cried twice just sitting there for there for forty five minutes. Forty five minutes, and I looked at him two times willing like may make up to run, like I have to go present, and I'm like, this is not the event for me to like do like my roast jokes.

I was concerned.

I was sitting.

I was sitting there like I was like, I don't care, we're following als.

I was like, I don't care.

I don't care about bombing in the room, Like I literally didn't care because I knew the jokes were funny. So if I bomb in the room, it does not matter because out of context, even if it's like I'm getting no laughs. I know how to not react to bombing and know that like, you guys are wrong. So I knew I kind of had a failsafe of like if this doesn't go like you saw me. I was never worried about what it would do in the room.

No, no, you didn't care at all.

I didn't care at all because it doesn't matter.

You did not care, and these people are I'll just be there like bringing up things like you know, this might not work in a room. This room is different than other rooms and all these things and don't care.

About the more people are watching at home, this is going to be seen more times online like a play to the people that are watching on their phones, like but plays to the room because you want to do well, because it'll give you if you're killing, you do.

From the watching on TV, it seemed like it did great and killed in the room.

It was amazing and it was not the easiest room to be.

Everyone was literally che oh.

My god, I missed the package about what's the guy's name, Steve O my god, Steveson?

Do you know his story? No? No you can't, I know I know.

He blocked the pine, Oh my god, like if you don't know who's likest. I know a lot of you don't know football because I didn't know football, and I would not know who Stephen Gleeson was. In fact, that was the name of someone I went to high school with and that's how I knew him. And that's still like the name that comes to mind or the face that comes to mind. But this guy is amazing and there's a documentary on YouTube about that. I haven't watched the full thing. You watched the full thing, but we just watched like a segment, Oh my God, about him and his son. Please go watch that Father's Day with Steve Gleason.

I mean I don't I know him from on stage, but his last night his son was just amazing to watch.

I didn't get to see it.

Incredible beacon of support, A pillar a pillar.

And then we watched this video. It's like an update of where things were since the documentary. And this kid's an athlete. He seems like you see him throw a ball in your Yes.

Guy, they were like like a recruiters, like salvage this, let's get this.

Let's yeah.

You were like salvating like oh man, like because you because Chris always calls out people in movies or like scripted things where they throw a ball they have to be an athlete for a second and they just are clearly not.

When he throws the pitch in uh one.

Yeah, yeah, have you seen Joaquin Phoenix. There's one that's emerged recently where he's like hammering like a board to get like keep the aliens out, and he's like he doesn't and it's just like it was it was in Signs and he just couldn't.

What is that like a floppy hammer hand Like he was just like too much wrisk what what he was.

Just missing nail and it was like he was like halfway down the hammer. It does literally people are like, yeah.

That's funny. The easiest tool.

Character is getting high and watching Brave Heart and watching the people in the background fight. We're so bad there.

I read about like I just was going down. They're tired. I just read a subreddit that was talking about Andy Samberg, I guess talked about working at SNL and how it was like destroyed him and how he had to quit essentially because just for his own mental health, because he hadn't slept in seven years. He said, you know, he was but he was like, he just was he couldn't do it anymore. And people were in the subreddit We're talking about the industry and sharing stories, and someone said, like TV is horrible, but film is fucking brutal hours and like people just it's like sleepless and so those guys are probably great stuntmen. Just it was like a hundred take at five am after doing it.

Since I also feel like there was a period of time where that type of choreography didn't matter. Like I even watched Gangs in New York, which also had a bunch of fight scenes, and I'm like, these fight sequences.

Really, so the fight sequences have improved.

Oh vastly, I think dramatically since twenty twelve. I don't know what it is. I think choreography just like you wouldn't see something like that in John Wick or in like, uh even like a modern Star Wars movie. I feel like everybody is now interested in seeing good fight secrets.

Who agree John wickser, But a lot of those don't have like two thousand people fight you know what I mean? You watch if you watch a James Bond fight sequence from even twenty years ago, You're like, ugh, but like fifty years ago, it's it's yeah, just watch when.

They would throw a shoe and go like or any any war movie that's black and white from the fifties, or like just watch the Obi Wan Kenobi versus Darth Vader lightsaber battle, like the famous battle.

Yeah, it's it's like it's like they're not even going fast.

Yeah, they're just like yeah, yeah, everything since yeah.

And then you fast forward to today and you've got like a Salot style EO choreographed masterpiece.

Everything is just so like comedy has also advanced that much. My dad was like adamant on showing me for years like this old timey I forget his name. Now I'm so sorry dad that I'm forgetting. If you ever see this clip or this even gets clipped, but it probably won't. It's probably now it has to It's no, it's gonna be clip because I think it will be good. I think what is My dad was like, you got to see this guy. He is it's one of the funniest things you'll ever witness and he made me an Emil Joaquim watch this for the first time. I was like, I finally gave it. Jonathan Winters not Jonathan Winters. It was like nineteen twenty something, so it was like almost stop first. Yeah, like later than that, maybe thirty something, but anyway, and there's a thing where this guy is just sleeping in a hammock on a porch swing And the hilarious thing that would leave people rolling in the aisles is that like a coconut falls off a shop. It's like a countertop and then kind of rolls through the kitchen and then rolls downstairs. And a guy and gets startled and woken up, calling and it's not it's just making noise and it keeps going and he's going, what's going on? And that it hits something else, gotta Rube Goldbergs. But he just keeps getting woken up. And that is that was the funniest thing that any of these people had ever seen. And my dad remembers, like his grandma like hysterically laughing, and it just it does not. We and Emila and I now when something is not blatantly unfunny, we call it coconuts, because it was. But my dad was like you could tell my dad was like ashamed that he even showed it because it was so not what he expected it in his mind from what he remembered. Do you re like I revisit comedy stuff where I'm like, oh, this isn't as strong as I thought it. Well expect then because it's it's just the bar has been raised now.

Yeah, I mean there was occasionally, like even if you watch like Lenny Bruce clips or something like that, you're like, this isn't very funny at all. Why how is he the godfather? But he created the art For me, it is. But occasionally there is a clip where I'm like, I think this is just as funny now as it was, Like I watched there's this one sketch from I think it's like Sid Caesar or something where it's these uh, the what do they call the chuck e Cheese the animatronic monkeys and they're doing some band thing and one of the monkeys has these two drumsticks and he turns very slowly and he hits the other monkey on the head, and then the other monkeys like makes a face. And for some reason, this sketch kills me every time. And it's from like the seventies. I still so that still works for me.

How many things in the seventies are you watching just that one.

Yeah.

I was gonna say, like, how did you even come across that clip?

Because I read all the memoirs of comedians that are and I was reading.

His not read Martin Shorts.

I guess I have. When did that come out?

Twenty fourteen? Okay, well he's like in the like I'm on a new sitcom called Mulaney. I forgot he was on that.

Well, I gotta put it on my bookshelf. There's like a lot, there's a big cue right.

Now, Okay, who's Who's who?

Was already recently we all read we alread that one year. Everybody read it the same year.

Yeah, that man, that must have been a juggernaut for like but like in terms of book sales to pay out, maybe he did. No, he probably just got paid. But they made a lot on it.

Yeah it was.

It was, Yeah, but I don't think I bet he didn't have a deal in the back end, So I'm just saying it probably did.

We're doing inside baseball about how he got in the back Yeah.

Like that was like a crazy popular book, like everyone read it, like our dad's all read it, and we were reading it like it was everywhere.

I also feel like anyone that read it tend have gotten into stand up, Like it was definitely for me. It was like one of the first things I read, and then it pushed me to try to really stand up.

Yeah, okay, yeah, I know it was Yeah, because you got started a little bit later.

Yeah in twenty eleven.

What about it? Like he got out of stand up, but it pushed you into it.

Yeah. I knew there was an open now, so I went and bought a broken arrow and a rubber nose. You kind of did, I really did. I hired a guy, I had a wookie play slide guitar while I did one my grandpa's clothes. Yeah, like I too could.

Be Steve Mark.

Yeah, it was something.

It was something you gotta try.

You got to throw it out there and then it led you to what you do now. Like the first thing I was doing on stage was like nothing like I am now. I was doing one liners too, just trying on all these different hats.

Oh god, I probably even.

Wore I wore. It was a time where I was literally wearing a hat like I would wear a footora.

Yeah, stage hats. But your influence with Sarah Suliverman, right, you're trying to be hats.

No, No, I think cool.

Wearing the for door was like you being cool and we're having a god I wore. I wore a blazer on stage. I wore a blazer and a T shirt nikky blazer.

Someday we'll just all laugh about what we're doing now, do you think or were we too try hard?

Back there? Sad to laugh at what I'm doing now. If I'm laughing at what I'm doing now, then that's really sad. To laugh at what I did in my twenties when I was just starting is fine.

But in comedy or just in life.

In comedy, in life is fine. You can go back and look at your haircut or whatever. Yeah, but if like in your career, you're like and then when I was twenty years in, it was still pathetic.

That's yeah.

I think that's why I.

Think I was wearing dinosaur hats.

That's true.

Yeah, maybe the dinosaur hat is going to be the thing.

Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I can't really trace like what I was. I was just doing what I felt was the right thing to do in the moment, so it never felt like I was trying, like, oh, I'm gonna do it this way. Yeah, it just kind of morphs into like in a way is just so interesting.

When I did that, like its top and war and had the Wookie, I didn't sarcastically.

Sorry, I had to get that.

Out of What was that? What were you doing?

Like you had a guitar?

Yeah, yeah, he had a guitar. Okay, he had a side guitar.

In a week, the Wookie had the guitar. The Wookie had the guitar, Wookie gold Birds.

He cut out the fingers so he could play, Yeah, cut.

Out the fingers. But I feel like that was there was There was nothing else like telling me what I think is funnier, what I should do, even more back then, where I was kind of just going off my own instincts than living in New York and everyone's like this, you know, yeah.

Doing doing the Wookie guitar to me is less embarrassing than wearing a blazer or even a Ferdora.

No, absolutely, because at least you're just.

Like, this is what I think, whereas where like, what do we think other people want.

Us to do?

Yeah?

And oh my god, that's so weird you say that because I was I did Conan's podcast today, And as I was leaving and waiting for my uber, I was running into all of the people that work in the building that had his cool office, like all these young people that are just like you know, working in the social media department, and I ran to them on the street and but the girl and I was like talking to all of them. One of them. One guy has been to Taylor Swift three times or yeah, three times, and he went to the debut. So I got to like the first run of eras, So I got to like, what was it like being there when no one knew what was gonna happen, Like I had all these questions. It was so fun. But then this girl, and the girl that was like my point person there, she told me on the way out, she was like, I do stand up and I've been doing it for two years, but you're like such an inspiration. And I was like, do you want some advice? Like I know you didn't ask for it, but like can I I like, I'm trying to no. I was like, I was putting on my shirt and I was like, I'm trying to think of what I wish someone would have told me. When I was like two years in and I was like, I said, don't try to do what you think people want. Yeah, do what makes you makes you laugh. And I have I still have to follow that advice. I think so often I'm trying to give people what they want, and like it's hard not to. I think we're just like trained to. But but the more you cannot do that, I think the more successful you can be.

Well, whenever you're trying to get people what they want, not only you're being inauthentic, which is a nethemudist stand up, but you're also backwards looking. And the key to being funny is to be forwards looking and be new and different.

I haven't heard this.

This is brand new, brand new origin. Somebody write down, Yeah, when you're trying to do something that you expect, that means you saw something that worked and you're copying it. Okay, this is why AI is going to fail.

Background.

Yeah, But I wanted to say this is that this is also a Franchi theory. I think that Steve Martin style comedy is making a comeback right now in the same way that it did in the seventies when people been crazy for Steve Martin because he was a counterculture to the more serious comedy that was happening. And he's just the guy who's like doing balloon animals and being wacky. And I think now comedian no offense. But comedians are getting a little too cool.

We're all too cool now.

Yeah, I think comedians are too cool. They're becoming stars, they're becoming superstars and arenas.

We're getting bought out.

Yeah, and like we're hanging out with MMA fighters and and and all sorts of cool.

Yeah, they're like their doors.

And if you look at gen Z humor, Like, if you look at stuff that gen Z kids are laughing at on YouTube and stuff, it is complete random nonsense. The more random the better. And you have to be random, you have to be random.

Was so good and what's making a huge.

Very good.

Dinosaur.

I know what you're talking about. Some like like you know who is doing innovative stuff is those guys from like Almost Friday finally Friday.

Oh yeah, they're very.

Here with the Fridays Friday Beers.

Friday Beers?

Is that it today land On?

It is that it almost Friday Beers?

What is it?

It's literally almost Friday TV?

But Friday Beers is also the show. Yeah, it's like, whoa, Okay, well they're they're branding. Got in my brain, but I should know. Their names are so funny, these two guys that will just pitch each other scenarios and then play them out and improv. It's so they're they're like, I mean, everything they showed me is probably what's funny. They may be bomb, but I've never seen one that is not hilarious. They're sketches. Oh yeah, I've seen there's like everything they do is funny. I wish I knew that. What's their names, Liam, but you look it up? Olivia yeah? And Angus Yeah, an Angus. And they have a cast of other guys. All their shit is so funny. And then Chris is right now into watching this mini golf competition.

Oh yeah, it's called Let's See.

Your Beautiful Face. I just want to pull it down talk into it.

Twin Tour golf.

You guys, it's just like this on YouTube.

Yeah.

I guess they're like in their twenties something early twenties, and they're just recording themselves doing playing mini golf and they're sort of like doing commentary like it's a real tournament. And I can't stop watching.

That's great.

How long is each relaxed?

How long is the video is sixty seconds?

I would expect it to be longer like thirty.

No, but that's each hole usually uh huh, so you know you and then they post it like fairly quickly. But sometimes they'll post like holes one through six and I'm like I need the rest, like give me the rest then win. There's no way Wolf is coming back, he says. But Wolf is actually pretty.

Is there any stuff online the content that you guys are like hooked to and crave like Liam Kulla l ag H and Will Angus those you need to follow them. But I actually subscribe opinion in sense, I like subscribe to an ASMR girl who like eats massive amounts of food and it really like soothes me when I'm like wanting, Like sometimes I'm like wanting to I'm like tired and I want to. I'm so hungry and I like want to binge eat kind of And sometimes if I put it on like they do it for me, yeah, and I can fall asleep like to like, oh my god, that would taste so good. And I'm not like starving, like I want to be clear, like a lot of people in the comments are like who else is fasting right now? And it's like it's not that I'm like want to eat my feelings, and so I put on someone doing it. Yeah, And it's like when I want to get a massage, like I watch massage videos when my like bunion's really hurt and I'm like I'm feeling it, and so like I follow this, so I don't I go through phases of like wanting to watch it really is like it honestly helps if you like. I would recommend it to someone who like something because it's soothing too, because they like talk to you. But you have if you're a misophonic, you're fucked because uh, it's like you're listening to someone chew and if you have missophonia, like chewing makes you murderous. If you have missophonia, it's like a thing where that someone eating makes you so angry you get violent. And famously, I think, Dad, I know someone who like like had it, and a well known person had it in a writer's room, like attacked someone physically. And this person is not prone to violence, but someone was chewing and this person attacked someone else.

I mean, how many situations were you being while you're gonna hear someone chewing, you gotta be able to.

Just sitting next to them, and they probably they probably were not wanting to say it to be rude, and then it just built up so much that they can't. Well, they're the boss also, so it was like kind of and then they like probably like it wasn't about no, it was the boss yelled at someone.

Oh god, okay, yes.

And like attacked them. I think like it got physical. But that's what I've heard that like that's what happens with people with misophony, Like they can't help it. It turns it turns them.

Into the Hulk Jesus. I mean, you know, I feel like you gotta be able to help it. There's got to be things you can do to control yourself.

Yes, sure, I'm sure there's like breathing exercises that they can probably because I think, well, yeah, but people will have road rage and stuff and the.

Control their own mouth. Will they have to have soup for smoothies? No?

No, oh, that's what they have to do, Like white noise when they're eating from Wow.

There's some that's a night Was it marass? Yeah?

I can almost guarantee every time the word white noise comes up and you will come up with, like, say another one, Creed, That is that Robbbins, like that smash Mouse.

I've been watching on YouTube. I just met this guy randomly and he's like, yeah, I work for this whatever this company and it was called Donut Media and it was a car It's a car YouTube and they just break down engines and take them apart. They have like nine million subscribers. And then he started his own channel.

And do you know this one? You want to break down an engine?

But you just don't know what I'm saying.

I don't that. I don't I'm not a mazor.

He does it for you.

I've never been.

You would like to.

I would love to learn something.

Are you focus being like what's he doing? Are you like relaxed to it?

I'll tell you that you've learned how to do that.

Ye talk about noticing someone's arm, Chris, Like this guy went thirty four for thirty six on passing. It was the most unbelievable display of.

So every year they the Cony family does plays the Stephen Family in uh football Stephen Family.

Everyone knows the classic Stephen family.

You know.

See, I've set this up. We've been talking about them for episodes. We've led to the same moment.

I still haven't even finished the Andy Reid story.

Trouble about the Steven part of my Interruption where they never get to any.

Oh my god, that is exactly what we're doing today.

That's a good sketch.

The Interruption is the show on the planet.

No, but you like? No, you like the other one with the two guys. Is that it with the two guys, yeah that you love?

Yeah?

Yeah, that's that's Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbom. Really the other ones around the horn with the guy who looks like the guy did.

You think I thought those were two different shows.

I never knew that the PTI and Part of the Interruption were two shows.

No.

I knew pt I was part of the Option, but I didn't know the show with the black and the white guy, the old old guy, the old old man. That's yeah, that like that is pt I. I knew they were two things, but I had never connected them. I don't know, why is the thing always on the screen.

To that kind of thing?

The shows I know there are two shows, one with those guys and then one called part of the eruption, but I didn't know they were the same show.

Yeah that's one thing.

Well, now it's all making sense to me, but it's actually not because I what would you call it, I don't know locker talk or something like, I don't know.

That Donald Trump. And yeah, that's the best show on television period.

Yeah, you love it so much? What do you love about it?

I do love, I do love, but I don't watch it religiously. And it's one of those shows that are so HD where and if you don't watch it for years, you see them age and it's kind of actually like questions my own.

Yeah, oh my god.

Interesting.

Yeah.

I like it because I love it when two people from different races get along.

Man.

That's why I loved Obama and Biden.

Yeah, it was beautiful harmony.

Last night on Kimmel hosted by Kumo, I said, my song is called Sunday You'll Die. It's about Joe Biden.

And it didn't.

It didn't do what I wanted it to do, but it did all right, good life, Thank god. We'll be right back after this.

We're back.

Okay. So the esties were last night I am presenting, and I'm back. I get pulled backstage before my like actually very early because I was like, I want to go through the prompter. And prior to this, I had figured out like a great set with the help of all of you. It was awesome to kind of collaborate again and come up with like kind of a roasty type set. Really last minute too, yeah, because I got the I got the script sent to me of what I was going to do, and then I could kind of work from that because I didn't know the concept of what the show was going to be at all, and but I got it, and then I was overseas and I thought it was like it was the script embedded and like a like a thanks for this information, Nicky, and I just you know, when you see an email that's just saying thanks, you're just like I don't need to read this, yeah, just thanking me for what I just said, Like there's no new information. And the script was on that and night when was that? I had twenty one extra hours with the script that I wasted because I didn't know what existed. And then I'm just on the flight and I'm like why is you know? But I'm flying back from Zurich, so I needed to sleep anyway, So who knows what I would have done with it, But it was under the gun to like make a funny moment and to try to feel out like what is this thing? What is Chris? Was you were asking a lot of good questions like what do you want to achieve with this? And that did bring me to like, I don't care about the room. I just wanted to be funny online. And like I'm like, I think I want to look sharp and likable. I don't know, Like that's an interesting question. I like when you do that, when you're like what do you Let's cut to the chase of like we're trying to figure out today for Conan what I say when I say like I'm Nikki Glazer and I'm blank about you know, about being Conan O'Brien's friend, Like what would be the funniest thing to say? And we like we're working on that this morning. And it was fun. It was a fun process, but it's like really like, uh, there's a lot of pressure on it.

Yeah, have you guys listened to Conan's podcast about that beginning thing? It's like there was a lot of pressure.

Because you don't know if you want to be sincere like I've gone, I've done it twice before, I would be sincere, or like you want to do a little like joke. So I tried to be sincere and a joke, and I think I did pull it off. But then you can't go from that. It's not like a couch interview with Conan where I'm like, I'm prepared with material and I know where he's gonna laugh and I know where he was gonna play. It's like I can't predict where it's gonna exactly go. But it did all right. But I like that process of like putting something together and figuring it out, and I felt really confident going to the SP's with what we had put together. All the writers when we submitted it were like, this is amazing. Everyone was like excited to see it that like had seen the script. So I was like, oh, this is gonna kill I don't I'm sure of it, Like, didn't you feel it was full of proof?

Yeah? No, I don't know about When I started watching the event, I was nervous.

Oh really okay, because it's made.

It more exciting for me because I'm like now now you have something to live for. If it was just gonna be easy all the way. But then I'm watching the event and I'm like, I've seen the opening monologues every time and they're generally rose heavy, and so I was like, great, that's what this event is all about. Then I realized shortly after, I've never seen the full espies. I didn't realize it was Humanitarian Award one after the other one. Prince Harry is gonna come up and deliver a yeah, a riling speech about war veterans.

Yeah, I mean it was god.

Serena came up and did a comedy bitfore comedy bit before.

Genius on the thank you producers producers. Yes, yeah, Because I was backstage when that als Steve Leason backage was going on, I didn't know.

I didn't want sobbing and in fee.

Yeah.

I'm so glad didn' see it because I would have. I couldn't have. I would have been in a different state of mind because I researched it later that night and was like sobbing, Like I was like weeping wildly in bed later. But I'm backstage and I can see it's happening, Like I see this guy in a wheelchair. I don't know who it is at this time, and I'm just like, oh my god, well that is how he looked like.

I don't know how else.

To do it. But he's like and he's so cute and I love him so much. Clip it.

No, No, I'm not saying anything offensive.

He knows what he looks like. It was. I'm not saying it's bad. What do he looks like? And I wasn't trying to be funny at all.

I didn't think I didn't last it wasn't funny. I'm not saying I really wasn't.

So anyway, I see I see it when I'm in the makeup chair and I'm like, and and the makeup lady right before I ever ride is watching it, so she is crying and she's touching me up and I'm like and she's like, it's just so tragic and so sad. I was like, yeah, yeah, And I'm just kind of like thinking about my set. I'm literally don't even know what's going on, but I do see what's going on, Like I see it, but I can't hear it. I'm not It's like the sound is a backstage or whatever. And and then the producer comes over and she's just like, it's just so sad. I go, I have to follow this. And then I touched myself because she's like oh, and I was like, oh, I haven't seen this yet, like I'm not invested in yet, Like I could be like I'm not being callous, like I this is death for me. This is that.

That's my Oh my god, Nikki d there's a comedy.

Shut up.

What it's funny. I don't know.

It's death for everybody.

Listen. No, I was saying, you do bad in comedy, you die. That's what I was insinuating. I was not trying. It was not a pun intended. If you sensed a pun in there.

We know it wasn't. Why it's funny, we know that we know that that was.

Not when I said, walk into it, Okay, you didn't catch it.

This guy is so is so cool. He would he would like, he would.

Like And I know that first of all, I did. Any joke that has been made, I literally did not mean to make until I said that I walked into it joke Like literally, that's the thing. It's like, I want to be able to talk about I have a joke about a guy in a wheelchair that I point at to my and my friend goes, I go, he's the guy in the wheelchair and my friend goes, you can't say, and I'm like, but he knows, like And that is how I honestly feel like. I it's not like if people go, oh my god, you're doing an act out of how he looks Donald Trump doing an act out he did that to be mean. If I'm just giving an example of what I was seeing on the screen, that is his reality. That is not offensive.

Agreed, Okay, I wasn't disagreeing.

Let's stay.

Don't need that kind of thing like happened to me. I'm not trying to make it about me, but I know when I got mugged recently at gunpoint.

Oh yeah, and that's about that.

Well, we're in Venice, and I'm not trying to I really is relating to what you're saying that.

I don't even know what you're blocking from.

I don't even know what.

Yeah, I don't ahead ahead, but I can't wait to get there.

So whatever, We're in Venice. Me and my fiance are walking and we're a block away from Abby Kenny, which is the main road. Man, you're right by the beach. You think you're like listening to Jimmy Buffet. You don't think you're gonna get a gun in your face. You know, everything's like chill, relaxed, car rolls up, reverses. It was kind of funny though, because I was telling Brenda how I have to piss, and she's like tapping my penis, and I was like, I'm gonna piss in your hand. I'll piss in your hand right here. Yeah, that was gonna be my last word. I'm gonna piss in your hand.

Your last moment, My last moment. Beautiful is because it's like a sweet moment between a couple that's very intimate and weird.

That is true. A I couldn't write that.

No, that.

So so this car rolls back and Brenda, who never notices anything, goes that's weird and then didn't even look at it, and then it caught my eye and next thing I know, guy jumps out ski mask on gun, sideways, sideways gone, and he just went into em and m and he's like, okay, he's cool, yeah yeah, oh yeah, No, he just asked me for directions.

No, oh my god, okay.

So it was an ninety five mask and he was just and he's like, so is that where's ja?

That is terrifying, Like, yeah, did you?

Did you do? You pissed yourself, stopped, dropped and.

You had to peel already she was tapping your penis. That's a good I never because that's happens to people when.

They get So he just wanted to walk.

So I had my watch on. I had a silver watch on my grandpa's watch. It wasn't he like that, maybe like eight hundred bucks. It's like vintage, but it's not like one of one.

Going to watch it. Now that you admitted that on this podcast, would did they take it?

No?

No, you're still walking around that grab fucking.

I'm not wearing I know.

Yeah, well are you really not wearing it? Because now you're like, oh, it'll attract someone to mug me, especially fuck.

So I grabbed Brenda's hand and I go run, run, run, and we were like thirty he was still like thirty feet away. I'm just like, run, go go get it. We gotta go. And she thinks she goes, oh, you're are you fucking with me?

The boys?

I'm a median and I'm like.

Fucking but it's the guy in scheme. She thinks, not run, she.

Never saw him, she never turned.

She said that was weird.

I know, and then didn't look.

But then didn't look.

God.

She's like, I'll let him look in and then now you're she's in disbelief.

And because I'm a comedian, she thinks, so you right away, that's pretty impressive.

You have to be proud of yourself. You were like you grabbed her hand and said run.

Yeah, I had fast twitch muscles for sure. Back Yeah, I would have made All State if.

Yeah, he's got it, yeah, I would believe it.

Take out your notebook and write that. Take it out with you.

So we started. So we start, so she's like, you're kidding, you're messing with me. I was like, no, just run Like it was like literally like out of a fucking movie.

And starting around huh is there anyone knows?

It was like the end of a cul de sac, so it was like a Byett street, but it was a million dollar homes.

Yeah, well that's why they're there.

Yeah, good point. So so so we're running and finally she starts running. She finally believed me, and she starts running and she goes to go around this bush and pull like a whatever, and I keep holding her hand because I want her to run and she runs dude into this pole. Oh my god, I'm I getting emotional.

That's so weird.

Sorry, No, usually I tell it like laughing.

But she's not beautiful anymore because she no, she's even more beautiful.

She has a high cheek, but on one side. No, So she drills this pole like like and like like girlsman falls on the ground and I'm like, oh, now we're shot, Like now we're dead.

Like I literally get my head.

I was like, this is this is what it is how I die by you know, her being a klutz. Oh my. So then I go get up.

You gotta get up.

She's like I can't get up.

How far behind that are they right now when this is happening, When you're like, you got to get up?

How far I would thought?

And they're running at.

You, probably like thirty feet so I don't know. I don't turn. You don't turn to see if there's a gun behind you, you know what I mean. So I was just running, just hoping we'd get to a street.

So you ran thirty feet before you dropped.

Probably thirty feet. She dropped on the ground.

She dropped, and so when you kept running, Like, what did you say to her?

I was like I went back. I mean yeah, yeah.

I was like, yeah, right up, you'll be.

Just pushed her all the way. They're cool, dude, is my watch? Yeah, so she's dating the version. They're starting to wrap her. So then I go, you gotta get up. She's like, I can't get up. I was like, you got it. You gotta grab her fucking sandals and her purse and we start running. And then I turned and when I got her up, I saw they were gone. So then but she didn't see that they were gone. We're running in the street. She's like bleeding from her knee and she's like hobbling. At this point, Oh my god, she's going to help us, like right out of like a movie, like screaming top of her dude, embarrassing a little bit like a part like that's how insecure I am. At part I was like, Okay, we.

Don't like young boys, like young college guys.

There's like three thousand people that follow me on TikTok. So anyway, so I was like just I was like I didn't know. And then there was a four runner and two to Broe's. This guy Jerry and Asher, like the bro Is bros you've ever seen, like just left the frat house, like Jerry.

Jerry seems like an old man's name.

You would think he was a twenty three year old dude, probably twenty.

Four, okay, and they just it was like his body.

Like Jack, a jacked Asian guy.

Just keep asking yeah, yeah, no, he's like Jack likes art. Yeah, we need that for like just just to color the story.

Hair the hairless.

There were a lot of good amount of vascular.

Like okay, Jerry and Asher pull up like you flag them down. She flaggs them down.

They stopped and we just jumped into their We didn't even.

Have Oh my god, this is so crazy.

And we jumped into their car like I compared it to like you know when a sea lion jumps from a yes, and it's like that's what we were like. And we get in and we're they're like what happened and we're like, we got mugged whatever, and they're like, we'll call the cops. They call nine one one cops never come, no, of course not. And then the firefighters come and they take care of Brenna's knees.

Firefighters like a whole fire trucks show.

Yeah, a whole fire truck, five of them. Yes, oh yeah, so the first So the first guy had green eyes and like he's probably six three six four, like strong hands. You could tell like he's like worked his way around the board.

Yeah.

Yeah, his sign, his sign, whatever you want to do.

By the way, you guys getting in their car is a good way to mug them, to pretend.

That you've just been I was like, you guys are I was like, you guys are the same guys without I was trying, but Brenda was like, uh, like you guy, Yeah, I made immediately, yeah, right away. I was trying my quicikest to make the set, you know for future shows. You know. Yeah. So anyway, so then they call fire truck coms. They clean her knee up. We get taken home in the fire I felt like a like eleven, like a nine year old boy for like a dalmat did you put on the like an oversized fire coat? They gave me a little one of the fire One.

Of the firefighters carried her up the stairs ladder.

You want wait, what What was it like in the fire? Where do you sit in the fire like you would want to.

Go to you mugged to be in a fire truck, for sure.

There's like a picture of me with they let me hold the jaws of life.

They came.

They came to a radio event that I was doing. Nice and uh yeah, the coolest these guys, the coolest baseball player through anything. Yeah, dude, my.

Dad's a firefighter, really volunteer. It's been one for like thirty years.

Final song involuntar.

He's stolen, he's stolen so many guys girlfriends who got mugs?

Dude, this guy's cleaner and knee. I was like, don't even fucking don't even don't Okay.

Yeah maybe steep maybe So.

The cops never come. Then we checked that citizen app and two hours later someone on the same street got the same thing, same exact thing, and they stole a silver watch.

It was like that was their gang in this year.

But because it never patrolled the area.

Yeah, it was like Gavenger hunt that day for gangs every morning on.

His part, I think the next day we see Jerry and Asher walking his way.

Why are you in Venice?

I was house sitting.

Okay.

Yeah, that's a whole other long story where apparently this guy tried to break into the house hitter's house three times yep, and got over the fence and and then this person asked us the house sit. Oh I'm sorry, the owner's house Okay. The person asked us to house it and never told us that our house is like.

Venice Beach has has fallen apart ever since COVID. It's my friend, my Alley's friend had an apartment there and in the span of four months she got her house was broken into three times. Oh and then there result used to be quite a lot of homeless encampments in the area. And then like in the year twenty twenty one, they went in and they cleared out all the homeless encampments and so instead of like solving any problems, the homeless people just kind of like started roaming around and a lot of them started breaking into houses.

I will yeah, I mean that was.

Almost on drugs, desperate, sure, sure, Like you can't blame them, I know, it's just like what like you're like, oh, how could you do? Like this is such a skurge, Like, but it's like if I was in that situation. Yeah, that's what, Like, I can't even be mad at them.

Aladdin is your favorite movie?

Yeah, one jump ahead of the bread line.

But yeah, but the crime in Venice Beach area has control.

I see Jerry and Asher and uh we go up and uh, I go, hey man, thanks for helping us. Ound He's like, who are oh ship, yeah they are.

What does that happen?

Well, they probably didn't think we'd be walking down ATVing Kenny Like yeah. But then the funniest part was he goes, dude, we thought you were kidnapping. That happened, and then I just jumped into their car, dude with the girl I'm kidnapping, Like, yo, you're bros.

You know, it's.

Probably more likely that I would just no, no, no, because that happens so much now that people are just like I was just reading about girl says I read her Rolling Stone article about her, and she's like talking about how her biggest fear is being kidnapped. Cause's really tiny and she's like a hot chick who's really super tined. She's like, I can get scooped up in seconds and taken and sold into like and never see my family again. And I'm paranoid about it constantly, and I'm like, this was not something that when I was young and hot, which I never really was. At the same time, I never figured those out to like intersect that could be a bit, but I really never did. And so I never like feared getting kidnapped. But I don't think it was a thing when we were young, but like now it's a thing where I'm like, I see it on I wanna Yeah, I'm working on a bit about it. But like that, I met another young girl who's like, oh my god, I'm just you know, because I can't go there because you know, And I'm like, because of what she's like kidnapping, I'm like, what I didn't think about I thought back I as a kid, but now when I was like an adult woman.

But it does when you think about, like if you paint the scene, she's yelling help me, I'm dragted, she's bleeding.

Yes, and we're still unsure if that is not what's going on this whole relationship.

First, Oh, this is.

We have to go.

Thanks for doing this, you guys, and thanks for all your help with the sb's and yeah, I met Andy Reid and Andrew has Okay, here's the things you mess. Andrew has a great arm, which Chris saw at a Thanksgiving Day football game where Andrew participated because they needed extra players. Andrew blew Chris's mind. It was like, really, of note how good Andrew's hand arm was, and and it's a part of the arm. And then Andy Reid I met last night. I was backstage and he I didn't know he was there because he ended up getting the award for Patrick Combs on his Behalf, but I saw him meckstage and I knew someone was accepting on someone's behalf, but I just thought they had Andy Reid later on the show, Like I didn't know Patrick would be winning, even though I knew he was a nominee. So I met him backstage before it presented because his uh, some agent. This girl that I love told me and was like you have to meet Andy read like you're a cheese fan, right, And I was like, yeah, of course I am. She's like, well, you gotta meet Andy, come here, and I was like does he would have met me?

Like?

Does he?

I don't want to bother this man, like he seems to be someone who doesn't want to suffer fools.

And I don't fun guy.

Yeah, and I actually had something to say to him, because yeah, I knew what to say to him, which was like, obviously, congratulations on being such a great comedic actor in these in these ads, because I really was like you are. I was like, I love you. I was like, you were so funny, You're hilarious. I was like, you are a great comedic actor. And he was like, he said, keep up what you're doing. I really like what you're doing. And we had like a moment and he took a selfie and was so nice. I was like, can I get a selfie? I'm sorry, I like never ask for selfies, but it's Andy Reid. He looked great too. He was just like so nice and easy to talk to. And we had like a little moment and then I go present the ward and that's who comes out. They like, didn't tell me who's gonna come out. They're like, wow, because I don't know who's gonna win. I find out when I opened the envelope too, and then Andy Reid, I was like, oh, yay, I just met you.

And then he was glad the first thing he said. He's like, I'm glad Nikki did visceray, No, no, no, no.

The word he chose was so perfect. It was dismantlement, disman. It was so good.

That's why I love and that kind of word that like, I mean us writing like trying to figure out one word today to put in that cone and thing like one word can change everything. Dismantle is such a perfect word. You'll have to see that a good one.

You know what.

She was wearing a red dress for the Chiefs.

I thought, dude, you're so right, and he.

Read said after he won his first Super Bowl with the Chiefs, they go, what do you what do you want to do after this?

Nikki Glazer?

No, I think I'm going to go get a cheeseburger.

I think I don't know if it's rumor not, but he had like twenty like something like twenty five bird.

Yeah that's yeah, that's kao. No no oh, yeah, no, that's true. I'm saying, there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, all right, we gotta go. Thank you so much for listening. Come see me on the road, Nick Glazer dot com. So many new dates added, so many shows, tickets are selling fast. I've never really had to say that to you guys and be like you might not get them, but truly shows are selling out and it's awesome that you guys are coming out. But get your tickets now nick Blazer dot com. You can check it. I don't really know where. I wouldn't because there's so many coming up, but like I need to, I need to memorize the next couple. I don't know when this is coming out, but I'm gonna be in Vegas this weekend with David Spade. But then I am seriously on the road for the rest of my life, So come see me. I would love to see you, and don't be c and Finne

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Every Monday through Thursday, comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced 
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