#408 Best Conan O'Brien Moments, Tyler Henry Live Recap & A Restaurant Dilemma

Published Jan 18, 2024, 12:00 AM

After a fun night out, Nikki is joined in the studio by her longtime BFF, Taylor, for a recap. They discuss two of the best moments on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien," one with Jennifer Garner and the other with the late, great Norm Macdonald. Taylor joined Nikki and her family in seeing Tyler Henry live. They recap highlights including their frustration with some members of the audience. Brian is skeptical, can Nikki & Taylor change his mind about Mediums? The answer, it turns out, is no... he group then ponders the possibility of maintaining a positive outlook on their deathbeds. Nikki has a moment of self-reflection, realizing she is turning into her dad. In the Final Thought, Brian asks how to handle an awkward situation he had with friends at a restaurant.

Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast 

.

Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod

Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record

Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour

Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange

More Nikki: IG

More Brian: IG

More producer Noa: IG

 

The nick A Gliser Podcast, Gleser.

Here's Nikki.

Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. Noah is pregnant. We've already talked about on two episodes, but I just in case people just like miss last week, we just want to jump in.

Taylor is here, Brian's here, Noah's here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like how you looked shocked at that information.

Because I just know I almost said it on the pod.

I almost, I didn't. So many times have there been any moments where besties could have gleaned it from just like little things we said, or that you had to like edit out, or is there anything that did get by that you're like, oh they figured out, they figured out besides your huge Honker tips.

Well, I can't get by, no, man, I don't know.

I think I did see a comment like a long time ago, but it's not it didn't have to do with this pregnancy.

What size is your baby today? Based on like the fruit it tells you?

No, I didn't check, but I think last week it was an endive or something like that end.

Dive okay, or a more common fruit to wait.

You called it on Deve and she calls it an endive, and I call it an end dive. I said, no, you said, and what do you call it, Brian, because it'll be the right thing dive.

Yes, it's a leaf vegetable belonging to the gene.

Did you google this?

Yeah? I mean I was like, what is it?

Pretty?

Look it up.

It's really end dive. I thought I saw and someone said it's on deve, but they're that's probably with me.

They're probably from Provoce. It's definitely that's French. Is how you pronounce it?

French? Yeah?

God, so embarrassing if I ever said.

That, and also correct it was also very French.

Okay, this week is actually actually next week it'll be for this week.

It's a call of flower. M oh my god. Wait no, no, No, that's a cauliflower?

Is this big?

Yeah?

As big? That's a bait.

And I don't want you to push a cauliflower through like that's too big of a bulbous thing. It should be like the size of a baby. But I guess all things aren't size of Yeah. I think deeve at least has a length to it, I think, and even maybe like a summer squash or something. I would accept as it. But baby isn't a ball.

What's the next week is going to be a pumpkin system?

Because fruits are different sizes, Like there's you can say it's the size of an apple, and then it's like, well how many different sizes of apples?

Apple?

What kind of apple?

What's the smallest apple? Brian?

Grab apple?

Those are the ones you find in your yard?

Yeah, I have I have one of those? Stupid uh online? How do you say on on diver on d oh?

I love these these YouTube videos that take so long to announce it.

Let's do it?

Are you able to?

Did you hear that? Can you hear it?

No?

What it is?

So your on de friend is a jackass who deserves to be sent a.

Deep off cliff for that one. They definitely weren't chef school. I'm trying to think of the words that I've learned that I've said. I will say they.

Basically said to you, no, Well in French, it's on deve, but it's like we're speaking English.

So yeah, it's it's not cool to correct people, but I stood.

Corrected at that point, and I'm gonna sit back down and stand for.

Man, doesn't it just so good when you're right, when you've been when you've been corrected. Did you ever see that clip with Jennifer Garner correcting Conan? It's so good because she goes, what will you look it up? Bryaning, thank you you're the best. It's she's like, oh, Conan, you should know that you went to Harvard, and he goes, and then they cut to a clip next of like after the commercial break, they get a dictionary and he's like, uh, oh snook instead of like, uh, sneaked, he said snook pasted it, and she goes it sneaked, Conan, you should know that you went to Harvard, and he goes snook the past tense of sneak, and she's just sitting there like, are you seriously in barrook? I think I think maybe the other way around indication. So she said, yeah, sneaked isn't a word, or so it was one of the it was something with snook.

Or something it Jennifer Garner, Yeah, yeah, it's the word.

What did I say?

I don't know.

It's Jennifer Garner. Garnia. Jennifer Garner, who has the deepest girl of all the celebrities. She's so cute. I really like Jennifer Garner. I have no shade to throw her away. But that was a great moment in television history, much like there's so many good Conan moments. You'll probably know some of them. I mean Taylor, Taylor and I became obsessed with this Conan. It was like a five year anniversary special that he did on I have memorized me too. We watched that so much. My dad recorded on VHS and that's how we discovered Conan. My dad was like, scush, seems pretty funny. But the what the Norm McDonald moment where this woman is on promoting her movie with uh Carrot Top and she like Courty Thorne Smith, and Conan's interviewing our Norm mc donald's already been the first guest, so he's further down on the couch and he's like, and everyone's seen this. I don't even need to repeat it, but it's like he goes, uh, so you're in this movie with Carrot Top title undetermined, and uh, Norm goes, oh, I know what it's called.

He goes, so do you, Norm, And everybody's already laughing.

Yeah, yeah, is it called a box office poison?

Ef it has carrot of it.

It might be called buying poisoned. And then she goes, it's called chairman of the Board, and Conan goes, yeah, do something with that, you freak, and Norm just takes a beat and he goes, is the board spelled b o r ed?

And Conan his react of like flailing forward and.

Then he hits the deck.

Yeah, he hits the desk, and then he jumps up and he like walks around the desk. It's like one of the greatest moments of TV ever.

God, there's so many good Norm normous, So I don't think there's any comedian who has better clips overall than Norm MacDonald. Every clip of his is like incredible.

He is incredible, but like it's so funny that he I remember hearing that he would go to the Funny Bone in Saint Louis and he would, like in the last years of his life, would walk the room, meaning like people would leave his show. Who I guess they just knew him from SNL and like movies and TV, but people would leave. Who doesn't How does did you ever?

I feel like if you're going to see Norm MacDonald, he'd show up unexpected and then they.

No, I think they would like go to going to see.

Him, then you should know, like who he is and what he's going to do up there, what could he possibly do?

He just didn't care. I love when someone doesn't care.

I saw some real yesterday that was like, who was it they were talking about? Don't care what your don't do anything for your audience. It might have been Lady Gaga, like someone who's already successful because they've obviously catered to an audience. But now they can just say, like, I don't need to cater to audiences anymore, don't give the audience what they want, give your do what you want to do, which I think is true because the audience does want what you do. They don't want they can think the way they think already. They need to see something specially yeah, they can't.

Do if you're like an incredibly talented and narcissistic person who has the natural ability to do something compelling. But if you're just a guy trying to make it, then you kind of have to give people what they want.

Yeah you do. I think I always toe that line of like I want because you the only reason I'm doing is because I want them to like me. And so it's weird to be like, I'm gonna do what I want to do, and that's what maybe.

I'm trying to give myself to.

Like me, I want your your creative and I think that like the true creative people just do whatever's in their soul.

Yeah, but some of those people are annoying and no one wants to see that ship.

And so you go up.

There and you do what you want and the audience and they're like, we hate this and and this sucks.

And I think that there's always something for someone.

Fifty said, go ahead and switch your style up, and if they hate, they're gonna hate, and watch the money pile up.

Oh wait a second, go ahead and switch your style up, and if they hate, they're gonna hate, and watch the money pile up.

That's the same concept, but then it won't pile up because it's hat.

Yeah.

Well that's what. Yeah, that's what, or Kanye West or something.

Because you're already famous, you can ride that fame even when you're not doing good stuff a little bit longer. Jeff Tweety said, if you feel like singing a song and you want other people to sing along, just sing what you feel don't let anyone say it's wrong. And that's that kind of speaks to that if you're trying to paint a picture and you're not sure which colors belong, just paint what you see and something else that.

Rmes with people saying what they want to sing, and then the audience goes, I don't know.

I feel like you should teach boo.

Yes, I don't really want to happen almost everybody.

I gotta be honest, though, No, I don't know. I think it is such a talent to be able to tap into what you truly think and to not follow the Judy Carter comedy book or what we're talking about comedy, and to actually not just copy someone else, be a facsimilar like I'm learning through singing lessons like it is im. I've talked about it ad nauseum. But just finding your voice, finding what I sound like without trying to selling someone else is so hard. It's harder than the hardest pilateus move. It's because it's it's it's it's not even a thing. I can see somewhere where I'm like, oh, I can get it, like it see it seems to be almost like it does exist, but I know it exists somewhere. I just have to find it, and once I find it, it will be so freeing because it will be like, oh, I can just stay here now, I can rest.

I don't need to try anymore. I can just be this.

But it requires such skill and skill meaning letting go and not caring what people think, not worrying about sounding bad, not worrying that you don't sound like Taylor Stuff, don't worry that you don't sound like Ariana Grande, not worrying that you don't sound like whoever you are used because I'm not writing songs, so I can't. If I write my own song, I could probably sing it like Nicki Glazer a little bit better. But if I'm singing a song that's already like a Rob Thomas song, there's a part of me that's like, whoa like, I am gonna mimic it, and that is so hard to do. So I do think that when I when you said become a teacher, I thought of like the comedians who I think just go back to teaching or just like drop out. They are trying to be someone other than what they are. Almost all of them are trying to be another comedian or trying or just their hacks. And I mean that with because I've been a hack before too, Like you, I'm a hack when I'm saying like, I'm just trying to sound like what because I don't even It's not because I'm trying to sound like someone else.

I don't know how to sound like myself.

And I think that that that is the skill of being an artist, is being unique. My voice teacher and I got into a we spent the whole lesson yesterday talking about this. But and then it was so weird because it was echoed when I went to see Tyler Henry last night with Taylor, which we'll get into later on the show, like growing up if you are just told, which I think is a mind boggling thing, like what makes you weird, Let's say the word weird as in good, like unique? What makes you different from other kids is what you should lean in towards, like is what you should cultivate, is what everyone should encourage in you. And I just didn't grow up with that. I don't think anyone before my generation grew up with that, and now kids, I don't. I can't even imagine what kids are going to be capable of if they feel.

And I don't think all kids grow with this.

There's still I still go to Starbucks in you know, the front neck area of Saint Louis, and they're all wearing leggings, they're all wearing baggy sweatshirts, they're all wearing the same sock, they're all wearing the same shoes. Like kids are still trying to fit in with each other. No one really does like to be weird. It's hard to be weird. But if somehow your parents can make you feel really cool about being weird, which, by the way, Taylor, you were kind of You've always been unique and different and never been trying to be like other people.

Was there?

How did you not have shame about being different and like the liking the things you like? Like Taylor would have like anthropology books on her all the time, with like like bug books, where she'd be looking at bugs and drawing, like your your interests that are you now is the same you in high school?

You weren't. It didn't seem like you were really trying to fit in.

I think I was thinking this when you're talking about the people up front neck too. I think there there's a thing like if you aren't if you don't look like everyone, and you're never gonna be like I could not have been like a pretty girl.

I was like right here and I give back. Yeah.

And I didn't have money to like buy nice clothes, so I had to go to goodwill. And then I was like, well, I'm already shopping a good will and so I'm just gonna buy these weird clothes that I like. Yes, and so if you but if you have the ability to like Also, I was never made to like play sports or do anything normal in my life.

That's a good point.

So once I didn't have a lot of people around just to compare myself to, and we were like moving a lot.

Yeah, but I do think you're right. I kind of relate to, you know, doing the things if you're able to do them, like you go, Oh, I guess I have to fit in because I can't afford the clothes I can't like.

For me, it's like's gonna take the up, like the roadless trap.

That's why I always tell people that like can't get face work done or botox and stuff, and they're like, I look horrible.

I'm like, you should be glad.

There's a part of me that wishes And I know this sounds everyone's gonna roll their eyes at this, because I would too. But there's a part of me that like hates that I can afford that stuff because I I can look a certain way. I can look like Kylie Jenner if I wanted to fling.

Yeah, if I don't do it.

But if I just said I didn't have enough money to do it, but I could really just change the narrative and say I don't have the interest in doing that. Like let's talk about like I just don't have you could you could find some way to get there that isn't related to money of like, I just don't have it in me to do that, So I'm not gonna.

Do they Thank God that, uh, but we did hammer the uniqueness and creativity out of children at a young age because I think if it's like a Montessori school or being home schooled, it's like every kid in the world was like that.

It'd be like a chaos out there.

God.

You know, if a kid like carrots with our feet and then you let.

Them do it for their whole lives, then you go to target and they're a freak riding in on a razor scooter, carrying their feet Rostafarian hat, even though they're white, and it's like, we don't need more freaks like you in the world. Be normal, Yes, we.

Do the world.

Would they have humility?

I happened. There's two separate to become so god.

Pride yeah, no pride, No, take pride out of it, because that's the new thing that I've read about. Pride is like the worst quality you can have. You should be grateful, but.

No pride and entitlement and like, yes, I'm so special. My mom said it was a special special saw.

I saw twenty something you all need to do in CVS yesterday who rode in on a razor scooter wearing a Jamaican flag jacket. White kid and he purchased two boxes of cinnamon toast crunch with coins. I don't think we need more of that.

So it was me. I don't think that kid has good parents necessarily. I don't think I think that kid is rebelling about being told to fit in.

Right, you know, like it's about that's the second way.

That's the second way.

Didn't like stensions or they told him you can do whatever you want to do, and he chose to be a razor scooter rastafarian who it's who eats sit him and toast crunch and everyone.

No, I don't think he had parents that I think this is a rebellion thing.

But you could be right.

I just think that it would have just been I wouldn't have believed my parents that they're like the reason like you wet the bed and that makes you special or some you know, like that makes you you should lean into that. I don't think I would have bought it. I would have been like, you guys are just like placating me. But there is something about And then Tyler Henry last night said the exact same thing. He was like about to start his readings, and he was talking about being like kind of a weird kid that was a loner and that obviously he could talk to like he got spirits talking to him and stuff, and he had to come out to his dad as a medium, which is a funny thing because he's also a gay man, and so he's talking about coming out and he kind of you could tell like either he's a really funny person. So I wouldn't question if he wrote his own thing. But you could tell it's been punched up really well. So he like since his dad down and he's like, Dad, I'm getting these feelings and I've gotten them. I was around ten or eleven, like it was all like stuff that was leading to gay and the audience is kind of like snickering because he hasn't said he's gay yet, but we all know because he's okay. And so then he's like, so I had to come out to my dad as a medium, and he was like, don't worry. I didn't say gay. I didn't want to drop two bombs on him at the same time because his dad and him weren't close. But then his dad took him home and was and didn't know what it even meant. But his dad I couldn't really follow it. But his dad got out a yearbook and was like, look through this yearbook and see what you can tell me. And he was able to pick out the three people in his dad's class who died tragically. Oh wow. And his dad was like, didn't know what it was, but like believed him and then supported him after that. And I don't know if they had a great relationship, but at least he was like I had parents that did that, you know, didn't quiet this ghost voice in my head that was and he look at.

Him now for like thirty years now.

My mom literally sent me to this like word when I when I was a kid, she did the right thing.

Do you think your psychic?

Now?

Yeah? What we'll get into this when we get back. And this is the first I'm hearing that my one of my best friends is psychic?

What the fuck?

Okay? Not like th not like to Tyler Henry. He said, yesterday he landed in Saint Louis and it was so cold. He was like, I got off the plane. I was like, oh about ticycle? And my sister and I and Taylor all were like, wait, we don't understand this. We like forgot his name was Tyler, and so I was like, what's a tycycle?

Like?

Was he on a bicycle? Is he just rhyming ycle? It was so he's so cute. I can't even stand it. Okay, we'll talk about when we get back. But Taylor already knows that because she's like, all right, we're back, Taylor, what do you mean you're psychic? And how did you know that as a kid? And why are you just you kept so many secrets. You knew that, well, I know you're like tapped into other things, and you're like.

I'm saying, it's very it's very boring psychic stuff. I don't ever see a dead person or know anything that's important. I'll just what do you know things are going to happen? I know I'm going to see somebody. I knew like that my cat was gonna die. Yeah, because your cat was old, I know, but I knew that she was gonna die like that day, Like, okay, I would I saw, I would like see stuff.

Like that, you got a vision I was gonna die? Would you call me and tell me? Do you get a vision or you get a feeling? Or it is like what is it? Because Tyler Henry said the first time he got it, he just says his grandma died and he just woke up in the middle of the night with a sense of like he felt a memory that hadn't happened yet. That's what it felt like. He however, that whatever that means. Side note, have you guys heard of this thing called affantasia? You'd be fascinated by Disney.

Princess like synth synthesia or something like that.

Yeah, cit AESA where people can see sounds or whatever in colors, Okay, Afantasia A p H A N T A s I A is where people can't picture things in their mind. And it's I think it's one.

Percent of people.

I can't think. So even last night, Tyler Henry kept saying, I'm seeing this in my mind's eye, and most people know what that means. Like I tell you to picture, they can't picture blue apple and you picture it.

People can't picture an apple, but they they just did.

They find that out because people somebody kept going, I can't picture it until.

And then it was actually I watched a whole YouTube documentary about it was like first documented in like like hundreds of years ago of people not being able to see picture things in their mind and they it's it's go down a wormhole on YouTube. It's so interesting to see these people be like, I just don't I'm not seeing anything. When you say that they just don't see anything. I can't really talk about it more than that because that's all I know. But it was just a it's a really fascinating say that's really that's all I can see.

I can't even see it yeah, next question.

But there are some things you can't well what you couldn't Just whenever you try to describe color to a blind person, you go like, oh, I don't even know how to describe it. There's no way to describe that. I think that's what Tyler Henry Pelly suffers with trying to describe what he's feeling, right, because he also said that. So we went to the show last night at a you know, twenty five hundred seat venue. Who went and he was telling us all that what was that, babe? Oh? It was me, my mom, my dad, my sister and Taylor, five of us. It was awesome. I played the Factory before, so it was cool to go back to that venue and see it from the audience perspective. It's a great venue out in Chesterfield Saint Louis. And we went to dinner beforehand and then we went out there. It was a snowy winter's eve. There's a wintery mix in names. Taylor kept saying wintry mixed suck by Dicks. We were laughing really hard on the way there, and we so he was talking about what was I gonna say about when people come through, Like, what's I forgot see.

Someone asked like, do you see it it? Maybe he doesn't.

See people won't feel it. Yeah, So he started off with, like, the first part of the show is just telling like people who he is, what his story is, how he came to be, and all this stuff, and it was really good. And then and then he's like, and then we're going to get into audience readings. And as he's finishing up, Oh, I remember what it was, he said that when he you know, people always want to know what happens after we die, He's like, I don't know, but I just know that there's you know, there's something else, right, And then it was like he said he's asked them before, like what happens when we die, like or whatever, and they always kind of laugh at him when he asks that he's felt over the years, the spirits are kind of like a whole new sweet hup. And he said it's like would be explaining calculus to a squirrel. Is how spirits look at us to try to understand what happens next. They're a different levels. They can't. They can't like you.

Us a super genius who was then condescending to humanity them.

Yeah, I'm like Sam Harris, could you become like a send?

Yeah?

I believe him of intelligence.

I wish it would have been out here, Brian, because I wouldn't be interested to because the whole time I'm like, Taylor, do you think he's a fraud? Do you like?

Because I'm so often I'm from doing my podcast seven years, I've met so many of these people.

I've interviewed many of these people.

I'm just so hardwired to be like, oh, you're a con artist, because once you dig into any of these guys, the more information you learn, the less believable they've become.

Across the board.

Well, dig into Tyler hunting for me, I would love for you to dig in just a little bit. I know I want to put you to work, but I would love for you to enlighten me or enlighten yourself, because I just feel like I don't.

I just there was so.

Many chances for him throughout the night to prey on people giving too much.

Information, or he'd go like no, that's not it.

He's like no, and he's like, I'm sorry, I keep getting this thing about a hair salot and the like there's no hair salons. He's like, well, that's you better go home and like look into it because that's what's going on, or there was there there's so many funny moments, but he was talking about, Oh, so he's finishing up his his like pretty like pre written monologue piece and he's at the very end of it. He's like, I'm gonna share two anecdotes with you, and then I'm gonna tell you how they apply to everything that we're gonna get to the readings. He starts the second anecdote and then he's like, ah, okay, wait, hold on, someone's sorry, hold on, someone's coming through. They're already starting to come through, like they're already like lining up in my brain, like they're like people's people here tonight. And he felt like, I mean, it could have been performative one hundred percent. People can act all different things, but he was it felt real to me. Couldn't He was like stuttering and couldn't finish producing. Yeah, he's not someone that looks like he wants to be uncomfortable on stage, like he's trying to do a good job. And this was an awkward moment of like he looked like he was having a heart attack or something like something bad was like a stroke or something. He's suddenly like just stop talking. Was like some okay, sorry, oh my god, someone's going through some star star Sorry, I'm sorry, goes okay, So Juliana Ransion would stop it.

Imagine that this is for the sake of the It's like someone the bluetooth head set on as Tyler Henrys. Yeah, three pizzas, geez yes, thank you. Okay, what were you saying? Yeah, here's a lot.

I will say that.

The So we met Tyler after the show, and the guy that I had the contact with to meet Tyler I was texting with. He shows up to get us out of the audience after the show, and we're kind of chatting a little bit before Tyler's ready to meet and he's like, you know, because we were talking about like is he going to be exhausted after this? He's like he he usually is like free, feels free after these shows because it's all all the spirits are coming through before and it like really tires him out. He's like every time we're on a plane on the way somewhere, people start coming through, he starts getting like sick. He starts like it just like so much tension and then he goes. So after the show, he's usually going to be pretty feel pretty free and like relieve there's gonna be like an immense like pressure that's off him. But he said, but we have a show in Kansas City on Thursday. And we went to the show on Tuesday, and he said, so it's just gonna start again tomorrow. He was like, we we don't usually do shows back to back like this. So if he was a money grubby like Charlotte and he would have his shows back to back like the way I do it.

But he can't do that because he's smarter than that.

He's coming up with a thing.

Knows that if I just did these back to back there back and I didn't.

The whole I'm too tired and weak is from performing for three hours on stage tricking grieving people into believing that their loved ones are talking to them.

That's hard work.

But also the producer said that he would be on the plane and being like, oh, like is gonna this man's wife is going to come through and it's gonna to be really hard on her.

That's him righting.

And then I want to say it is my fervent desire for this guy to be real. There is nothing in the world I want more than for ghosts to be real and for there to be an afterlife.

Nothing.

The number one thing I would want in the entire world is for there to be something after death. That's so I hope he's true. I hope he's real. I hope he's talking to ghosts. I hope he's right. But I tend to believe that he is a narcissist, probably trying who just has convinced everybody.

That Taylor knows personality disorders.

Do you I don't think he's a personality disorder skeptic as well.

I'm a skeptic maybe, But what do you think he's if he If he's faking, then he is not aware, then it's coming.

Something is coming, must be subconsciously.

Yeah, then he's mentally ill.

But yeah, he's definitely not putting it on. And it's not like or the mental illness is that he is just social.

It works, so he's just getting gain this positive feedback and he's just like, let me just keep building this thing. I'm sure the first time he did his oh I can hear a ghosts, three thousand people didn't line up to buy tickets to see him, but for sick.

No, they didn't. He was going to be a hospice nurse. So he went to school to be a hospice nurse.

And when he was there, he did a reading for his dean because he was getting some I forget how it happened, but he did ended up doing a reading for the dean of the school and he was so moved by it that he was like, you should do this professionally. And then Tyler dropped out of school like it's silly.

And then.

He's been doing it since he was seventeen. That seems like a kind of weird age for someone to be like starting.

And he started seeing the things at age ten, and.

He told his dad and he got his father's approval. Maybe his father started talking to him for the first time in any sort of meaningful capacity.

Brian, why don't we put your little skepticism bullshit on hold and let me just tell you okay, because.

If you watch, you'll see there's no way he doesn't do. Lots of people do like really vague stuff. He's not vague. He's like who's Rose, And they're like, my mom, who's Joe? My dad Okay, what he died.

He saw last night people?

People? Are you yell into a crowd of three thousand people? Anything?

No, that's not how Then would he would literally go, it's in this side of the room. Someone got hit by a car. This was a very long time ago. Someone was helping someone by a road. And they and their name and their and their birthday, and their birthday is February is Valentine's Day.

It's a mother.

And someone goes, my sister's birthday is Valentine's Day? No, it's a mother. It's someone's thousand and then they come up. No, it would be I'm not kidding me, a section Brian. It would be like two hundred people. And then he would come up.

They would come up to the microphone and then he would say, okay, who's Rose And they'd say my mom, who's Joe my dad? They they be like, yes, yes, and he's Joe my brother. They all died with it. And then why is your family estranged? Why is your your sister's dead? But you didn't talk to her for years before she died. Stuff like that, like ever unless he had plants and Saint Louis.

And he's he really yes, but these people would not be a good actress. I will say for the Saint Louis, it was insane. There was so okay, Saint Louis, get your shit together a little bit. Okay, because I talked to the guy afterwards who was walking us back to beat Tyler and I go is st So they have microphones set up throughout this theater, right, so when you when Tyler throws out a thing and it fits your description, like I'm talking about a mother whose birthday is February fourteenth, My mom died on February fourteenth, No her birthday, her birthday. Okay. Then finally someone by the way, Saint Louis, know who in your life is dead? No things about that, because this was one one of the ones was like what was there was one that was so highly supecific.

Oh oh this was This was hilarious.

Okay, there's someone in the crowd who they're loved one. I'm getting there's he goes a loved one showed up on the operating table. Like this person was doing their job as a paramedic or maybe a doctor, and their loved one showed up in their er or in in their in their ambulance and they would go, oh my god, this is my friend. There was some discovery. It's not a person that came upon them on the road. It's someone who is their job is helping people in. It was their friend and it was a brother. And it was like he gets so specific, and there would be he would just and then the audience would be like totally silent because everyone's like, no, that's not me right, and he's like, it's over in this section, maybe in the it's in the very back. It's somewhere in the back, and we would all be looking back there, like where are you because at this point he has had five in a row that are just spot on, like he knows the section of the room.

It's specific.

There's always someone whose hand goes up and and by the way, they always go up late. But this person took all long eight and we're all just like waiting. It was almost like when the teacher is like, who who cheated? I know that someone cheated and you're just waiting, like come on, dude, just like someone's got to step up, just admit you did it. These people cannot How do you go to a show wanting to talk to your dead relatives, but you can't remember a story of which they.

Okay, and this of when I was like in high school or whatever, we had a sleepover and we did the Ouiji board and like everyone promises, we're not going to move it.

We're not going to move it. Yes, but then it's like, you know, somebody moved it, so maybe like you all move it because your hands are like shaking, and then everyone moves into the movement. And I think that's how that straight moved it, because you're psychic, bitch. That's right.

I'm a psychic sidekid.

So but Saint Louis my family.

We were getting so frustrated with these graving people because they would finally be like, I think that to me, I'm like, five minutes later, you just realized that there's a Linda whose birthday is Valentine's saying there was one woman who's mother. He goes a mother whose birthday is February fourteenth. It took it took till February fourteenth for this bitch to raise.

Her hand, and I go, how do you not know that? But they were so like, I think it's me.

And then they would take literally twenty minutes to walk to the microphone, but most of the show was wasted by Saint Louis's not knowing how to get to a microphone and.

Being like, oh, jo very obvious where they were.

There was no rut, there was no like urgency in their walk.

It's like the seats weren't close together, you could easily walk. It was through the insane.

I was so embarrassed for Saint Louis. I was like, is every these people were not hobbled, they were not wearing heels. They would they could have just get and they get to the microphone and he's like, now, is there a Linda And then they're just like, Linda, I don't think so.

And then they go oh, like it would literally be that, like they my name's Linda.

They were so, I'm sorry, Saint Louis, there's like a lead poisoning problem or something made me nervous.

For the woman who said the operator like, you are a doctor and the and your brother shows up with operating right. This woe took five minutes to gins of the mic and then he was like, okay, so can you tell me how this fits? And she was like I had a friend who was a doctor and.

Someone die.

They were like Tyler was like, oh so he treated him? So the guy was dying and heated no, yeah, she was like sit down. She took twenty minutes to g at the mic and then he was like no, sorry, that's not you. Sit down and was like, okay, is problem that this is.

Not going to be an entertaining person to talk to, so sit down.

No, they were talking.

He went through everyone because they did.

The cool thing about him is that if if you get to the mic and it's not you, he would go, you know what, I'm still going to try to do a reading. So then he'd scribble in his notebook and he would give them something. And it was always it was he did not he he did not fail at any point. I think there was one thing where they were like, I don't know how that applies the hair salon things.

Ever gone to the Magic Castle or something like that and saw a mentalist.

Yeah, I know, I know Harrison Greenbam, well not.

Harrison Greenbaum, but there's really good. I don't know if Harrison green Bam is good at being a Mentalistalists at the at places like the Magic Castle, who will blow your mind with what they can predict and it's all just reading a person and probabilities.

You can just but isn't that impressed?

Or read someone's mom's name and dad's name an bro.

Yeah, that's a good point, Noah. Is that more impressive though, because mentalist, I know they're not actually reading my mind, it seems like a skill and I'm just like, oh, that's impressive that they the probability that I would say that color the mentalist.

You go in knowing that it's a magic trick, and then you go into Tyler Henry and you leave going, oh my god, my dead uncle actually didn't molest me. And it's like, I hope that makes you feel better, but now you have this false belief that being said, I but what people.

Gives a shit.

I'll drop my cynicism because I would like to be a little happier.

You're not talking about Catholic church every week like we could talk do a podcast every week and where people are having this.

This but I will I'll believe it if it makes you happy. If you left the performance happier and more like enchanted with the world, then I don't see who who's harming.

I wasn't chanted dad.

I think Dad got a little bored because he didn't understand what he's in for. And it is tedious.

I mean like you're because of Saint Louis.

Yeah, because Saint Louis slowed it down, and so it was just so it was hard to just you because Tyler has nothing to say while you're walking to the mic, and he's just kind of like trying to talk to us and say if it's a but he's kind of just you know, he's tapping into something. So he's working while those people are walking to the mic. So there's just like dead silence in a room of three thousand people while someone's taking the organ trail to get the fucking microphone. I was dying for someone I knew to come through, just because I wanted to speak.

I wanted to be cleverer.

Just died and then talked to him through his head.

Well, he said that because we were joking on the way there, because it was a wintry mix. I was like one of the car flips and we all die and we all come through on the show, but like there's no one there who loves us, so we can't get through.

And he's like, there's a.

Family five in someone in the box office is like, well, there's five tickets on hold. Maybe it's for me. But he did say that one time he was at a reading and he said someone was dead and they had died that day and the person didn't know yet.

Something like that actually happened to me.

You sound like one of the spirits.

Well, something like that actually happen to me.

I don't disagree.

I one day, it was when I was in my early twenties, I had a dream that this guy, Leo Lancey, who I went to high school with, came to me in the dream and I was exiting my high school and he was outside and he was like hey, Brian, and I kind of like snubbed him. I was like, oh, hey, what's up. And I walked away because I was carrying a box or something. And then three days later I learned that Leo Lancey had died three days earlier.

He yeah, in the woods of West.

Why you're skeptic.

He was proposed to death, like.

Kind of like a drifter.

He was probably on drugs and he got on a train car and rode it and probably just like got out and lost in the woods.

And freezing to death.

It sounds good at the I've talked about this before, but when you're hypothermic or whatever, for you, it's called hypoxia. When you have hypoxia, you strip off all your clothes because you get really hot right before. So they oftentimes find people who die of hypothermia totally strip naked in the snow.

And they're burning.

Yeah, they feel like they're yeah, and then they gently go to sleep, like it's a gentle sleep. I saw just a thing from when I was at the Emmy's. They were just showing some clip from a movie, like some documentary. It was just a clip, you know, like when they're saying the nominees, and it's this old man on his deathbed and there's this woman that's like, are you ready to go, Papa?

It's probably but end of life stuff.

And he was like, I'm ready to go onto the next adventure. And I was like, that gave me so much hope. I love looking at life that way of like it's just onto the next one.

I hope that's no. I would love to believe something like that. I hope that's true. I would love to be as delusional and ignorant as that man on my deathbed where I actually believe that there's a next adventure after he died.

Positive mental attitude. Dude, I kind of.

Hate Aures, so I feel like I feel like I go and get. I don't want to do this a hike, I don't think. So.

Why is God an outdoorsman?

Makes me?

God loves all his creations and that includes the steep hike.

I believe in a God. I believe in energies.

I just hope that your own consciousness is carrying on is the thing I just have not been convinced of yet, and I hope to God that that's something that happens. Otherwise, you are your brain, you are your consciousness, and if that ceases to exist, then you cease to exist.

Then you will never return again.

It's like a dead computer.

Yeah, like it just the only thing I can think.

Of is like if you go into like the multiverse or the fact that time is just a construct, that there's a possibility that time is just the construct of your brain, which is what's interpreting all of the data that's being input into your brain, and therefore you are always is alive and always did simultaneously. Your brain is just the one interpreting this as time passing. So that's the one thing that's kept me like maybe there's a little inkling of hope.

You don't believe Tyler Henry, but you believe that.

Yeah, I at least mine has some psychotogers.

Just amazing. Just a man.

But he's yelling out who's name the rose and a crowd of three thousand people and after fifteen minutes said he doesn't know it.

Okay, come on down, says.

How did this person? I will say that everyone in Saint Louis has died of COPD heart disease and cancer. He looks at this long and gets into the town. But it's like, but I also my dad was like, oh yeah, so you just everyone has lung Like it's like that's what you're diving. It's like but it is though, So like, is he supposed to only have interesting deaths?

Like is that make him a hack?

Just because he's saying they died of cancer or a heart attack like that is generally how most people go. But like, so do those people not get to come through? It's let's say it's true, you know. So I was just like, yeah, I mean it's not always going to be getting hit by a car or some like interesting thing. There was a girl that was like her sister was murdered. That was pretty interesting. He doesn't say murder. He says their life was taken from them. Yeah, And I didn't understand what that meant at first, Like isn't that what everyone?

Because I thought that could be murder, or it could be God, yeah, or it could be like you're you, someone pulls the plug.

I was murder.

That's the first time. I was like, that was a little vague.

Oh you mean pull the.

Plug in in like a humane way. Let's take her off life support? Oh yeah, no, that bitch's girl. She was filming the whole time too. She's like crying and she was like holding up her camera like and looking at herself on the looking at the camera as she's crying, like she was murdered. And in the state of Texas. Oh, it was like a weird story because he was like, there's no justice, there hasn't been justice, and she's like, there hasn't been It was so crazy because she's like, my sister was murdered. But in Texas, the law is they don't get the death penalty unless they've murdered more than one person, and also they have to rape the person, and my sister wasn't raped, and that he probably did murder other people, but we can't prove it. And Tyler was like, you're never going to get that justice. His justice will be served in the afterlife.

I'll try.

M No, I was gonna get you. Yeah, I get you.

I believe that I love this person's sister. And he dies.

Is he going to get to talk to Tyler Henry and be like, hey, can you tell my sister in law that I actually loved her ice cream?

You get this? He ever talked to a bad person or is every single person he talked to just like.

I want to tell my cousin that I love them? Or what if a bad person wants to talk to him and it's like, I want to tell that.

What he says is that people aren't defined. No, I think so. He says that he a lot of times the ghosts are pushy and he has to have good boundaries with them and be like, no, we're done. He does say that sometimes they're like He's like, I have to practice I've practiced my boundaries with the physical realm of like humans in my life and spirits and we all laughed because don't we all need I loved it. All right, We're gonna take a break. We'll be back after this. We're a bricycle, all right. So, Yes, we went to Tyler Henry last night. It was fun. It was nice to have Taylor along with our family. Is it fun for you to go to?

Like?

Do you feel so it ease with my family because I'm always like that. If I was just with another family, I'd be like, this is kind of sucks, like I can't really be myself, But like, my family's pretty chill. There's so when I got home, I was like, that was that. I just felt like I was with my family.

That's totally.

I've gone hiking with you. That's a good point. It felt like childhood.

I know, that's insane.

I've never gone hiking with my parents, and no one's gone hiking parents. It's great.

Yeah, they're pretty easy. Dad is full of information and your mom is just like so funny to talk to. Yes, my dad is so fu of information. He is an anecdote.

Yes. Oh, he was so mad last night because we got preferred parking at the at the the venue, which was really nice. It was like, you know, it's not nice to get that little perk because I'm Nikki Gen. I've been there before. And Chris got us tickets, so he threw his radio station. He got tickets in preferred parking for me. It was so nice.

And then so we get free tickets.

My dad doesn't even want to go to this, I don't think, but he's old, oh go, no, I'll go, I'll go, oh go. So then he goes and he and then we're leaving and we're like stuck in the parking lot. It's gonna be maybe ten minutes. It's not like it's two thousand seat venue. It's not gonna be insane. We're gonna be in traffic all night long or anything. It's like I can get I've been around long enough, and certainly my dad has that. We know this traffic is no more than ten minutes in the parking lot waiting to get out. But my dad goes preferred parking. They don't even have anyone for And I go, why was that? And he's like, I'm saying, if you're gonna get preferred parking, get out, and I go, oh, is like they're a thing where if you complain enough. Because he kept doing it. I kept going like, yeah, Dad, well I guess I won't do preferred parking next time. We'll park on the edge and that'll be And he's like, I'm just saying, and then we change subjects and he gets back to it, and I go, is there a thing? I oh, it's cool that there's a thing where if you complain enough, your car grows wings and you can fly. I didn't know that that was a thing, because what is the fucking point of complaining so much? To keep saying it, to keep making because that's to feel bad.

Impression.

I find myself being that way.

And I feel he was really bothering him and eating at him that he was given this preferred parking and it didn't pan out to what he imagined, and that kind of like ate at him or something.

Yeah, well, yes, he blamed the preferred parking.

So the good thing turns into the bad thing so often, Like you know, we will get free, it'll be so cool. I'll take my parents out to dinner and we'll get like something free or something, and Dad.

I'll be like, doesn't even know syrup on it?

Or like like this they didn't E put syrup on the back.

Of I go. But it's free. So why.

We got all these tickets under yes?

Yes, because it's like it's the thing of like you get to blame something else for your situation, Like you get to complaining is my dad's favorite thing, Like it's and I find and the only reason I'm annoyed by a dad if you're listening, is because I find myself doing it so often. I'm like turning into my dad where I can't not complain about something like there. We went to dinner when we were on a ski trip a couple of weeks ago, and my boyfriend's brother, uh was so like cool and made these reservations at the Ritz and it was like a really expensive dinner where a side of asparagus is like twenty six dollars.

I mean, it was insane.

But our table had a giant spotlight on her. It was like this really dark, cool, like cabiny type restaurant and our table just had this giant harsh lighting it. Like I kept doing like interrogations where I was like because it looked exactly like that, and and I just couldn't stop complaining about it. I couldn't because I'm just because this makes more sense to complain about because it's fixable. We literally couldn't get out of the parking. There was no way to change the traffic situation.

It goes well.

To believe that fixed the entire institution of preferred parking by having a dedicated traffic officer.

But I don't work for the factory. There's no way I can get that. We can't pass this legislation.

There in the car, it's no, but at does get funny. That's funny. Now it's a bit so it's bringing.

Yeah, well that was funny because the waitress came over and Curran was like, I'm current, took Kurrn did what I needed him to do, which is like and both Chris and Kern were like, do you want to move? And I go, no, it's fine, even though I was like yes, but I didn't want. I just don't see another table where we can go to. And I understand that waitresses sections are like it's people always go why can't I just stood over there? It's like, because this waitress is a section and this is just how they do it. And now she's gonna lose out on a table if you don't stay in this section. So I don't want to fuck over the waitress. So I was just kind of trying to make fun of it in a way that made it fun or something. But I was still complaining. And then Kurran was like, we're fixing this. So he got up and he charming and went and talked to the waitress and she came back and was like, is this not good? And I was like, it just feels like I'm like, you know, like, and I did an impression. She didn't care for it. She was like, definitely a Russian immigrant who did not speak the language of American kid.

She's been Russian gulag and she's he brought her back.

What body? But then we changed tables because I complained enough. But I do find myself I really am trying to keep it in check because it's becoming apparent to me that I am just always dissatisfied and nothing's ever good enough, and I'm always I don't like being a complainer because I just see how pointless it is and it's just it be I just am I. But I do get annoyed when a restaurant that is otherwise has a perfect ombiou either has a event blowing on you, or has really loud music, or has a weird spotlight right on your table, or if you're getting a facial and there is a huge overhead light that the woman won't turn off, Like I won't stop. I can't be a person that's just like, this is just the way it is, and I'm gonna enjoy it. Like I can't deal with it. If there's a woman next to me who is listening to her phone on speaker, I won't calm down. I can't.

I can't deal with it.

There's because I might be complaining because there is this moment before I'm too scared to do something about it. Right, But I'm in this like uncanny valley where I'm like, I, if I complain enough, maybe I'll work up.

The chromatic, do something assertive.

Yeah, but I really don't want to be a complainer anymore.

I have a final I want to throw your way. I want you to give me the answer.

So I was.

I went to Texas last year to go to a football game, and then after the football game, just that context, there was a lot of people around. We went to a restaurant. We had a reservation there, very busy there was. It was a table of I don't know, twelve people and we ordered our food. We ordered a lot of food. We ordered appetizers.

Oh, that's so many people.

That's just setting me out already going to a restaurant with twelve people.

It was a very long table, imagine like a like a medieval table. Yeah, last supper table. And so there was my end of the table, and there was the other end of the table, and the other end of the table. I don't know what's going on over there, they're talking about something. We get our appetizers pretty fast, but then between the appetizers and the entrees and the appetize is not everybody got appetizers, so like some of us were eating. Between the appetizers and the entrees, there was about forty five minutes that passed where were there was. The waiter came out like one time to be like, don't worry, it's coming soon.

I didn't know this.

On my end of the table, we're just chatting, we're enjoying each other's company, we're having a good time. On the other end of the table, there is like quiet murmurs of revolution happening. They were like so upset that it did that the food's not coming. And after about forty five minutes, one of the people at the other side of the table, without pulling my side of the table, went to the waitress and said, we'd like to cancel our order. We don't want the entrees, we just want to leave. What So then on behalf of both sides, they canceled the order. The waiter was so flustered and was like, oh, okay, brought us the CHATSTL And then we had to all together as a unit get up and leave the restaurant without eating our entrees. What so.

Weird?

Who is this person? And how are you connected to them? And how can you never ever talk to the other because or five.

Of them they were discussing this. They were all in agreement that this is taking too long.

Well what but when you get outside the restaurant, did you go what the fuck was that you? Guys? I still want my food? Why why didn't you just stay and eat your food?

For my side of the table, I was slightly embarrassed. I was also perfectly fine just sitting there and waiting, and I understood that there but they were taking an extremely long time and it was one of those situations where you could it was like an open kitchen. You can see the kitchen, you can see what they're working on, and then they put the plates out on a counter and so you can see what's up next. And we had been waiting for almost an hour and our food wasn't even being prepared.

So they knew that, like, this is.

Just not happening, and but how can they not pass a note? I was like, well, we should have been consulted in this decision. This is a table decision.

Yeah, is this a person?

Like do you don't love this person?

Who I love?

All the uprising? There's a way you like this person?

I've been friends with all these people?

Did you not go one? Are a couple of people that.

Annoy me frequently. It was shocking. Quite frankly, I was like, what what we're leaving?

I would be I rate, I would have stayed and and and just to prove a point, because where did you go?

Nowhere we went? I went back to the hotel.

I had a separate hotel that night, and I just ate a complete cookie and went to bed hungry. But I also had my appetizer. Honestly, it saved us a lot of money because after eating my appetizer, I was like, I don't.

Think I need the entree, but got it okay. So the table didn't even.

Get like some of them didn't get appetizers, so they were just sitting there for over an hour with no food.

I don't like these people. I think it's so rude. What do you think, Taylor, Yeah, they should have consulted you for sure.

I get it that you want to like get in there before they cook your food, because that's smart.

If they had already started cooking, it'd be more. Here's the thing. When you go to a restaurant, take note of how many people, how many different tables are sitting down with menus in front of them. That means all of those people are going to get their orders in before you. If it's more than three tables, the restaurant's gonna be slammed. You are going to wait an hour for your food. That is just the way it is, folks. So when I go to a restaurant, I always look around right away to see how many people haven't ordered yet, where everyone is in their meal, how slam the kitchen's going to be. And I often if you ever dine with me, you'll know that.

I go.

Guys, figure out what you want to eat, like almost before.

Let's do the drink order and food order right away, because we got to beat that table that was sat at the same time as us.

And also you appetize accordingly. If you know it's going to take a while, then you make sure to get And.

Why does everyone need appetizers? Just get your appetizers with your food? Does everyone like to eat everything together? Why do we have to do stages of because if.

You know it's going to take an hour, then you want some olives or nuts.

No, no, because they'll bring every day together.

I'm with you on that boat, I do I always.

I don't understand this, like we have.

To like excit, No, here's what I want.

If I'm having dinner with Nikki, I want to get my appetizer immediately, and then I want Nikki to get her food all at once because I eat maybe one tenth as quickly as Nikki does, so I need to have the time to catch up.

Ryan eats so slow.

I don't even know how he has any meat on his boat.

That's why, that's why your friends try to leave without your mutiny.

My brother in law has learned how to eat fast from dining with the Glazer so often because he used to be left in the fucking dust. We would be having like after dinner coffee as he was taking his second bite, and so he has learned now to like shovel it down.

Yeah.

I don't know what it is, but we decided all time.

Is that a diner with you in la I had to say, by the way, I know, it looks like I'm not close to being finished with these pancakes or whatever, but I'm done. I'm just picking at it and we can leave whenever you want, because you guys are already like done for five minutes, and I.

Had like it looked like they had just brought out my plate.

Yeah, but were you really done or are we just saying that.

I was really done? Yeah?

Okay, I trusted you. I don't think you're a liar.

Okay, we have to go.

We'll have a podcast tomorrow. Can't wait for it.

We're actually recording it right after this, So just be honest with you. So we'll see you tomorrow on the show. Come see us in Florida this weekend nineteenth and twentieth in Fort Pierce and Daytona Beach. Uh Brian and I were both being before and there. You can get tickets at nicki Glazer dot com and as always, thank you for listening to the podcast. Dumpka and Digit Digit Just Believe, Just Believe in Ti Hi's school

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Every Monday through Thursday, comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced 
Social links
Follow podcast
Recent clips
Browse 523 clip(s)