The Nikki Glaser Podcast#395 "Getting On Each Other", Manifestation, Travis Kelce & Taylor Swift: Nikki’s Prediction
It's never too late to enlighten your mom about the cryptic language of high school, like 'getting on each other' meant. Nikki does exactly that and tells Julie and Brian how she recently got lucky. Julie helps Nikki manifest good things. They dive into a recap of their conversation with the one and only Kathy Griffin. Nikki has a prediction for Taylor Swift & Travis Kelce. Julie talks about her trip to Europe and the old traditional thing she participated in. In the Final Thought, they talk about sex workers and the benefits of having a positive mindset.
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The Nicky Gliser podcastser here's Nikki.
Hello, here I am. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. Welcome to the show. I'm in Saint Louis, Missouri with my mom.
She was in studio.
She was here with us yesterday for Kathy Griffin. She's here again today.
Yes, I am.
And Brian is in New York where he is visiting family for Thanksgiving.
Right, yes, Hello, I'm in Long Island.
Oh he's you say in or on?
I'm on Long Island.
Okay.
I was really proud of myself when I adopted saying on Long Island instead of in And then Ryan just threw me up, Yeah you said in, and I.
Yeah, I'm from there. So you know, how do you hear.
At the grocery store? Do you wait online or do you wait in line at the grocery store.
I wait in line. I think I'm in line.
I always waited line. I'm in line.
But people say I've first. Wendy leave me and had a joke that she was like, I met my boyfriend online at the grocery store, and that was the first time I ever heard that that turn of phrase to describe a grocery online. That's not even no, Yeah, that these people are waiting online like that means like uh, like before online was the thing.
I think it meant like in line, Oh, never heard that.
In Saint Louis, we have a saying that no one else it's only regional to Saint Louis.
What is it in high school?
And Chris knows this too, because he's Saint Louis High school. If you are from Saint Louis in high school, when we would hook up or if there was a hookup that was going on and hooking up meaning like anything like butt sex, not not but sex, not butt sex, no one was doing that in high school that I knew of. We didn't go to a Mormon school. But everything except sex. If you were just like hooking up making out to blow jobs, I think maybe was called you got on them?
I have?
Did you get on each other this weekend? Oh my god, Rachel got on Joey this weekend. They got on each other. And it sounds so stupid now, but it was just the way we said it. And it sounds so stupid because it literally just sounds like they just sat on each like one climbed on top of the other, and then they just sat, which is kind of what you think sex is when you're a kid.
I don't think you'd ever like say those words in front of me in high school.
Yeah, we probably said the gag and the goy the gone at the geech got back.
We probably said it gibberish enough to drive. Yeah, a parent correct.
That made me feel crazy awesome.
Though, Gibberish is amazing. Every kid should learn it because you can. It's a secret language your parents don't speak.
Or they'll never figure out.
Lauren trying to teach me, and I was like, I cannot figure this out.
It's very hard.
No way you understand it.
You understand you.
Yeah, we could talk with the geek of the gan to the gk to the gou, with the geach of the gother girl, the gu this again, gonna go for the gear with the geef for at the gasket the game.
But the I.
Just said, we could talk to each other this fast and we know exactly what we're saying.
It's it's just i'll teach you how to.
You'll learn it quickly because you have a good like math kind of like logical mind.
But i'll teach you to you someday. It's pretty up. It does.
It sounds it's awful. It's like John Early has a bit in his special where he says like, whenever you download a new app on your phone, it says like, would you is it okay if this app would share information with other apps? And then it's one of the options are allow, and then the other option is ask app not to track. And he's like, ask app and he was like, you could have.
Just said not allow, do not allow no, but it.
Was like ask app not and he does this whole thing. It's so funny. But yeah, jibberish. Is it sounds upsetting? I understand who taught you that? The GE's but the boys the gone with the gig by the Gake, these boys on.
Break, Oh I was gonna yeah.
There we were on spring break is junior year and these guys uh taught it to us and we were like, it just opened. It's like because it's sounds as foreign as a foreign language, but it's English and it's easy to learn.
You can learn it in one day and then.
It takes a while to get fast at it, but you can understand it just as much as you can speak it. It's it's it's one of the coolest things ever, because it's really that's the cool thing about a foreign language is that it just sounds so cool, and it sounds like nothing you could ever understand, and people could talk about you and you wouldn't even know it. You have that at your fingertips and gibberish, you just don't know it.
You guys had that little club. Yeah, I'm sure it was frustrating for you guys.
I just would go, I'm so mad, why are they doing?
But we were never talking about anything to We were talking about like, oh, Taylor stolen necklace today. It was not like we were like doing drugs, like we weren't like the movie you know you were talking about me?
Was that?
Uh huh, that's the fear.
Yeah, we didn't care about. The scarier part is we weren't thinking.
About you at all.
Parents are just like in the way, you know, I know that Taylor is on the on the podcast.
So you talk about your experience in high school a lot, but it feels like you have so many things from high school that have like the best time, formulated your entire personality, but nothing almost nothing from college, like almost zero.
Because college for me was doing stand up it was like right away I discovered stand up and then I just was doing that, and then it was there was nothing. And in college it was like the pressure was on to find a career, make money. Like I realize now that, like my parents' money isn't just my money until I die.
Like there's all this things.
The pressure sets in high school, there's just like this freedom to and I just got extremely lucky. I always emphasized that when people didn't have a good, pleasant high school experience, there's nothing wrong with you. Like I just got lucky that my parents didn't move halfway through my sophomore year and I had to start over. And I just got lucky that I wasn't in the grade above mine or below mind that I that I was born in the right month, that I got to meet Kirsten and Taylor and Halla and Huffy and these hilarious women. I just I just hit the jackpot. And it doesn't have to a lot of people. But I just got really lucky with those friends. Obviously, there's still a huge part of my life. I would say, talk about getting lucky. Can I just tell you something. Yeah, So back in two thousand and thirteen, there was this really like kind of cute shop on Tenth Avenue. I lived on tenth Avenue and twenty second Street with on your Marina, and I would walk to Equinox every day, and there was this really cute shop that had all these like really high end clothes that I wouldn't even possibly.
Think of buying.
I mean, like we're talking like three hundred dollars shirts and four hundred dollars sweaters and all this stuff. But I would sometimes go in and just kind of like touch things and like think about what like maybe I just got a good check in the mail from the show. Maybe I can spend on this. But I still wasn't comfortable buying that stuff. And there was this one sweater that I just like was obsessed with, and I would stop in and look at it and go like, I really want that. I just can't though it's an but I memorized the brand name and I tried it on. And I'm not like this with clothes, Like I've never become like attached to a thing. In fact, a lot of times I will like see something I like, and I'll be about to buy it and then I go, no, put it back.
If you keep thinking about it.
That means you should get it, Like, don't like wait a little bit, you know, like really convince yourself you want it.
Do you know any carts I have going on right now? It's insane.
I got a message the other day that said, your Abercrombie cart is thinking.
About you, Nikki. Wait at abercrom Oh, He's one of the best places to buy stuff. I'm not kidding you.
Anytime I get compliments on my jeans, I go Abercrombie because they do long oh and so girls with long legs, and they also do short. I mean the Abercrombe jeans are. I complimented the girl at a meet and greet one time for her jeans, and she said, Abercrombie. And I've been on that boat ever since. But so I loved this and lavished the sweater, and I thought about it for years, and I was searching all over for it all the time, Like I would search on eBay and I would search on Poshmark and just do like And this was ten eleven years ago, and then the other night just occurred to me like, oh, I'm just gonna run my search again, and I fucking found it. And it's the sweater.
I'm weary right now. Stars on it.
It is like everyone makes this kind of sweater now that has like stars on it, but it's never as finely made as this. It's cost me one hundred dollars as opposed to like I think three hundred and fifty was the original price. Wow, it's in mind condition. It's the the size large, which I thought was going to be too big. But if it was any smaller, I would hate it. Yeah, I just opened it. I'm fucking psyched.
Man. Nice, this is my white whale.
But I don't know, have you guys ever had a thing that you've been looking for your whole life? They talk a lot about that in the thrift store. Separate of like I found my white whale.
I never heard that what is it?
White whale? Yeah? Back in two thousand and nine or something like that, Whole Foods would sell these green reusable shopping bags that were the perfect size and you could fit like you could fit like almost two shopping carts full of groceries in this wild Yeah. And then they would have span and then the one thing that people don't like about it is that the opening is like a little smaller than the bag itself. So sometimes it's hard to get things in there. But once it's in there.
They're lost going anywhere, not going anywhere. It's not gonna spill out. I would put all this shape. It's volcano shaped, almost a little less extreme than that. Look a volcano that had recently exploded.
Okay.
I would put that bag on my bike and like ride home from the grocery store with it. Nothing would go wrong. And I still have the bag. I've been using it and using I've had this bag for fifteen years and I had a little hole in it and it still works. You can put in the in the washing machine. But I tried. I was like, I love this bag so much, I want to go buy another one. So I went online. I went on eBay, I went everywhere. I called Whole Foods. They don't make the bags anymore. There you can't find them anywhere, these green shopping beds. I called Whole Foods. I called mister Foods and he said they don't make.
Them anymore, and they like typed it in.
They're like, sorry, people know what I'm talking about on them too.
So there's other people too that are like, I'm obsessed with this bag.
Yes, because those, you know, like the typical reusable bags that are made of like a plastic bottle that are crinkly and loud, and aren't that good? Those are? Those are not great. They don't hold a lot of stuff. You can't fold them up, you can't scrunch them up into a ball and put them in your pocket. And the ones you can scrunch up into a ball and put in your pocket have a big opening and things fall out. Try putting a normal like Trader Joe's bag that's not plastic eat on the floor and everything will just flop out of it.
Yeah, that's especially on a bicycle. Yes, that's not gonna work.
So if anyone has the lead on a green Whole Foods bag, so.
I'm looking now, Yeah, Mom's on it. I love they have something to look for at the throat.
But you just told me, Mom that sometimes you will like go to a thrift store and like feel like I.
Need a uh, a certain blouse.
Or something for this thing coming up, Like I think a sparkly blouse and then it'll fucking appear.
I I mean, I used to be really lucky in that department. If I needed something, I would go I'm going to find it. I'm going to go in there and find it.
Well, that's the law of attraction. Baby, I'm getting into it.
I know I've gotten into many things on this podcast where it's like this is my new thing. But I really do believe manifestation, and like, if you believe that you have it, if you believe in your stul that you've already achieved it, that it's just going to happen, and you relax and you act as if it fucking happens. And I was listening, Chris and I were watching Ellen DeGeneres's special Relatable It is the name of its twenty eighteen Netflix the other night, which is hilarious, by the way. It's so good. It's I just love her stand up and but she says in it that she she was like pretty like down and out. She had no talents. She would like, she had no aspiration. She was like an oyster shucker, and she worked in a grocery soe she like got all these jobs she was, but she just didn't know what she was doing with her life.
She was in her you know, early twenties, New Orleans, right.
I don't know where she was exactly, yeah, maybe, but she yeah, that's what they do down there.
And she said that she.
I didn't know this, but her her partner, her girlfriend at the time, was in a horrible car accident died. Ellen drove past it not knowing it was her. Oh my god, and she had to move out of their house together, their apartment together, and she moved into this basement apartment and she was that was just infested with fleas. So she was sleeping on the ground and there are fleas all over, and she was just like, what am I doing with my life? And she was like she'd never done anything creative really, like she's just had never even thought of comedy, didn't know, didn't act, didn't sing, just was like what am I even doing? And she was like, I'm just going to write a poem. She had no intention for it to be funny. She was like because she was thinking about, like why do fleas get to exist? But then my girlfriend, this beautiful woman who had her whole life ahead of her, why is that?
Why is she dead?
And she was like, I'm I really wish I could ask God about this, And so she wrote a poem in which she was asking God about fleas and like, why are they around? And then she was like thinking, oh, if the poem I would call, I would call God, like it woud probably. She wasn't even trying to be funny. She was like, the phone would probably ring a lot because it's a big place. And then she'd be put on hold and the hold music would be And then was it was this religious song?
Chris laughed because he's Catholic. I didn't know the song.
She was like, but it would it would be that music playing, but it'd be live because it would be you know, and and she and then she decided she just had this moment as she's writing the poem and this is just you know what she says. So maybe it wasn't exactly what happened, but I believe her. She said in that moment, she was like, you know what, I'm gonna tell this on the Johnny Carson Show someday. She had never thought about doing stand up, she had never thought about being a comedian, she had never thought about being an actress or anything. She was just like, I'm one hundred percent gonna say this on the Johnny Carson Show someday. Six years later, she does that exact joke on the Johnny Carson Show, and she goes, and I'm gonna in this moment while she's on her mattress writing this poem, she's like, and I'm gonna be the first woman ever that's asked over to his couch after God. And it happens right She's finishes are finished. That's the thing. I paused the show and I was like, Chris, this is what I'm talking about, this manifestation. If you just believe, it's so hard, like it doesn't matter, it will happen. And he was like, well, this is also like information bias, I guess, or what confirmation bias, where it's like we only hear the good stories of when this happens. We never hear the people of like saying I was gonna be on Jenny Kerson, but I never made it. You know, we only hear the stuff that goes well. And she could have changed the story to fit to make it better. I buy it because the more I've been looking into this, it's just you know, I've talked about it before, but it's like it's there's science behind it. It's like there's if quantum physics is about, like there's different realms happening. There's infinite realms happening where your life is going on in a different direction all the time, and if you visualize that version of your life, it will show up in your own Like it's if you give attention to what you want, that thing will show up, and it has to be done in a certain way.
Like I'm reading all these instagram or.
Sorry, subreddit's about uh law of attraction and these different men who have like, uh, you know, championed these different methods, and I'm listening to YouTube videos. I just don't know what's a manifest because I kind of have life. I keep kind of like I think right now, I'm manifesting having I like, well, I'm just gonna say it, like, I have an award winning special coming out that's an Emmy Award winning and it's and Taylor Swift wrote me about it and said that she really enjoyed it. She wrote me a personal note. And I don't want to share the details of it because it was personal and I feel like it's going to kick off our friendship. But she wrote me a personal note about how much she enjoyed it. She liked the shout out and uh yeah, and and and I'm up for an Emmy and I I just want it.
That's so weird.
And so after winning that Emmy, I just feel like my life is just kind of going in the direction I always wanted it to go. And I have this. I'm just like my career is just like where I want it to be. I I'm really my body has changed because of plots. I enjoy ploates so much. It's just become a practice that I don't even need to like, is.
This is this?
Yes?
This is I? Yeah?
I yeah? And I'm I'm my niece's favorite aunt.
Oh you Poppy?
Poppy has to say that I'm her favorite.
That's not even I heard.
She's been asking about me.
Oh is Nikki? Where's Nikki?
Really?
Hear it too? Is Nikki? Why aren't you telling me about this?
Oh?
That's all I want to achieve in life? Is Poppy haunting me?
I don't even care about for some reason?
The girls?
The girl relative way do you see her in her little brace that.
I know she broke her clavical.
What I know she save her brother's shoulders and she broke her claviical and she's so cute in her little cast I haven't seen her yet.
She did her little sling.
We went to the playground, which probably wasn't a good idea, but she's just like she knows how to work it, like to go down the slide on one side.
Yeah, she's making new she's pretty good.
Back to her asking about me what she did ask about you, I mean she's like, is Nikki gonna be there?
Or this is cool? This is good? Oh she wanted Halloween. I found there was a turning point.
She just started looking at me like when I wasn't looking at her, almost like she has like a like the way when you know a guy has a crush on you, where you just like can check, you can just feel their stare where they're just kind of like studying your face, like I think I love her where you're just like it hasn't happened to me in a while, right, But like there was just a vibe with Poppy where I'm like, oh, she's like very interested in what's going on with me now. And it's like I even took dat aside. I was like, I think something's turned with Poppy, Like she's very into what I like. I think I think she's she'sry she'll be your girls all I want.
Okay, yeah, she'll be your girl.
Well my mom, Well well I was gonna say about this law of attraction thing. So that's what I'm manifesting. And if you the thing is, if you have trouble figuring out what to manifest, which is a hard thing for people you're supposed to say.
Wouldn't it be nice if ye fill in.
The black good thing to do? And it's nice not like the low key multiverse Marvel version of the why it works. But also if you just start thinking about that thing and believing is true, it instills you with the confidence and starts planting the seed that will give you the plan and the confidence and the thoughts to go actually do it.
Yes, that's true.
I saw Instagram with Reese Witherspoon the other day where she was talking about, like, I just am confident all the time. I walk into auditions that I knew that I wasn't maybe right for, but I would just walk in and act like, oh, I already have the part. I mean, we've all heard this kind of thing before, just like actually as if. But you can tell that's like she's very confident. She is so confident I mean, have you heard her?
What is the fine line of manifesting versus lying yourself or luckiness?
I mean, it's not lying to yourself because if you believe it, like it's just there's just no it's it's I guess it.
It's not.
I can't say it's lying to yourself because then that negates the whole thing.
It's not. It's just knowing it's gonna happen. There's no lying to yourself.
And if you have that question in your head of like, this is me lying to myself, it ain't gonna work, Like you gotta be.
Go ahead and lie to yourself, Like who gives a shit if you're lying yourself? Like totally, If you if it makes you feel better that you believe in Jesus and you're really religious and that just gives you low anxiety and makes you feel good, then even though maybe it's a lie, like go ahead and do that. It's like anything that makes you feel better.
People lie to themselves all the time about stuff to get through life.
Unless you're like hitting your you know your wife, and you're lying yourself that you don't hit your wife. But if it's not, if you tell you that one. But if it's not affecting anybody, then like, go ahead and lie to yourself, not wrongly.
It's my I Actually today I'm gonna have a call with my friend because I saw on the on the Law of Attraction subreddit it said start involving other people in your manifestations. So find a friend who also wants to manifest something and then you have a call congratulating each other about the thing and acts like it's already happened. So my friend and kirst and I are going to have a call later tonight at six pm where we both talk about the thing that we already both want got And I said, here's what you're supposed to congratulate me on. Here's what I'll congratulate you on. And we're going to have a full conversation as if it happened. And there's no question, there's no like, oh this is weird we're doing this. It's just is what it is.
I cannot wait.
Yeah, So that's what that's the plan. I'm gonna manifest that. We're going to have one of the best episodes ever coming back after this. All right, all right, we're back mom. Yesterday's podcast with Kathy Griffin. Are you still so excited that we've got to talk to her?
Well, she said, I'm her girl. I think basically she did. Yeah, she was. She was starting with you, Julie. She was kind of flirting with me, she really was. How many times did she say, now.
Julie, I know I love I love her. No, she's really good. Yeah, she's good, she's good.
That was a great episode. She had a lot to say. She I mean, it was really interesting to hear her perspective on what's happened to her. I didn't know any of that stuff that happened to her outside of the photo, and so I didn't even know she had lung cancer. So to share her story like that, and I have a prediction. I don't want to manifest on her behalf, but my prediction is that she goes out on tour, she starts working this new hour, and then the comeback is on. She's going to do an hour special that's going to be on some channel or streamer, and people are going to be like, I didn't know any of this about her story and then boom, she's back.
Yep, that's you're so right.
That's that's what I meant by saying like people just need to media needs to get on board, like people need to be confronted with her story again. Yeah, and then they'll forgive, they'll forget about it, and everyone loves a comeback, No guess it takes six years though sometimes that's the shitty part. And during those six years, can you imagine having that many people hate you? Like I it wouldn't take a vicodin addiction to kill myself.
It would take nothing.
It would take that much online hate to want to kill myself, Like, I don't think I would survive that.
Now, she's got many so brave and so strong. I mean we didn't even hear. I know more about her life than just what she told us. She's been through a lot, Yes, she has been through and she comes back.
She lost both of her brother and sister to cancer. She has one brother who is estranged, who was fucked with her when she was little, right, she had obviously like she lost both her parents within the past. She lost her dad I think in ninety or maybe early in two thousand and nine or something, her mom in twenty twenty.
And her mom lived with her for a while. And yeah, she's been she's been through she's.
Divorced, she had a guy steal a bunch of fucking money from her. Yeah, she's and she's someone like, let's be honest, like Brian, you know, like as a comedian, people don't like people are quick to say I don't oh like roll their eyes about her, like they dismiss her.
Uh oh, you know. People love to hate a woman. I think that's what it comes down to. If you have that many excuses to hate a woman, then they'll take them.
Oh for sure, I'm glad you say that.
It's like, it's hard for me to say that because as a woman, it's easy for me to say. Yeah, I think it has something to do with that. But yeah, she's and just such an outspoken one.
Well, I've been so proud of her.
And when she did what that photo, who gives us shit?
Well, she was making fun if you know, she was making fun of the fact that he said he was talking about Megan Kelly and now she when she was moderating the debates, she had blood coming out of everywhere her eyes and her like, he was talking about Megan Kelly possibly being on her period, right, and so he was making he had a quote about she had blood coming out of her mouth, out of.
Her eyes, her everywhere. That wasn't megane Kelly. That was the girl from Joe Morning Joe. Oh, okay, whoever that was?
Yeah? Uh yeah, So he was making fun of that woman. Yeah sorry, and then oh yeah, he'd never say that about making count when even when I said that, I go, why would you say that about her?
So she was doing a nod to that.
She was like, okay, well we'll make blood coming out of all of his stuff and then you can't buy a whole body of him. So the mask made it look like a decapitated thing.
So did she stand up for herself?
She did, but she advice initially was to apologize, because that's everyone's are all pr agents always say apologize, And it's the worst thing you can do is apologize because everyone no, you can't. You know, I'll apologize for hurting people's feelings, but I won't. I'll just be like I thought it was funny, I fucked up, but like it's yeah, it's not good to apologize.
The shark circle the wolf circle, and I go, oh, she knows that she's that faulty, so now we're going to destroy her whereas if you.
Because what you know what, that encourages people to not apologize, which is a great thing when people apologize and a.
Committed Yeah it's weak, but well what about I mean I was more shocked when we were talking about celebrities and the story that she said about the Jay Leno Show and a certain pop star.
Yeah, I was terrified if I had to encounter someone that I had talked shit about. I think there was one shocked there was someone recently that I can't like I was gonna be on the same thing as that. I was like, I wonder if they saw me say that thing on a special about them or like, uh, it's yeah, I'm I like that. She's just like went up to j Lo and was like I want to pick Like, let's get a picture where you're mad at me, like because you know I'm said things about you like she's just.
Like brazen and braz ambrazen and great. I love that about her.
But God, the way she used to make fun of the Cardiaschians and uh huh I was great.
I was like, somebody's gonna that's what we mean. I miss I missed that. I miss just like comedians just ripping people apart and just making social commentary. Joan Rivers did it too.
Yes, no one was again no, but people didn't like Joan Rivers either until she died.
I'm sorry.
It's like it's the people that with taste did, but Joan Rivers is only lauded as like a legend after her death, after that documentary, Like it had to take people to be like, here's an artful documentary to prove how hard she's worked. But before that, it was kind of like I think the consensus was, like her voice is annoying, get her off e, she's always she's She got canceled a couple times because she said just she's making just jokes and it just went the wrong way. Like there's so many times I've said jokes and people just go, you know, when I did the view and Kelly Rowland got upset because she was just like ew, like did you just say something that is just an innocuous joke? And people just go like, would.
Her side too? Because she said aw.
Yeah, And then everyone's like suddenly like, well, yeah, well she's more famous than that girl, so we're gonna be on her side.
Except Rosio Donald did it.
Rosio Donald took my side and I was like, I'm sorry, that was fucking funny, and then she cussed, and she said it was the first time she's ever cussed on the view of doing daytime TV for twenty years. She says, its first some shavercover. I know what it's told that before, but it's just one of my love predest moments. But but yeah, it's it's just like this. I'm just struggling with the.
The the reaction to any joke is repulsive to me.
It is.
It is, yes, like that, it's a joke like you're you getting disgusted at it is your problem?
Yeah, yeah, And my joke was that I'll tell it again. It was it was so stupid.
It was we were just backstage getting briefed on what we were going to talk about on the show. Rosiodonnald was showing pictures of her kids in the bath the night before because they had put all these like they had these like, I don't know, bath bombs that would make the color like the water a purple or pink or whatever. And I said, oh, I had that as a kid, but it was always just yellow. And I did it myself. And she just goes ew, and I was like, it's just a fucking joke about me peeing in the bath, like it doesn't and it just just sucking all the I thought of it. Brian, You're right about the great joke. It's just like it doesn't deserve an ow though, and like, let's all alienate this girl on this show where I I've been a regular before, I know my way around, but this girl's new.
So let's say like, you're just no, You're no fun.
Yeah, and it's an insult to go oh, it's like, you know, I'm sorry.
Yeah, judge.
You know what on the next Money Players like special uh Big Play, Dion Players, Diamond Club, I'm gonna tell Stor another story about that person that.
I guess that is that is the exact story.
I actually cross paths with that person again recently, and I've been vocal about my like that I think she's not a nice person before and so I was nervous to cross paths with her. And so I have a story that's I'm gonna tell them the Diamond Players thing because I don't want it to get back to her. That's gonna be come behind a paywall, so uh, stay tuned for that.
That's exactly how I feel about Kim Jong Un. If I'm ever on a tonight show him awkward.
It is, I always it could be dangerous for you too.
Yeah, honestly it's Yeah. I just that's why I'm scared to like ever see Taylor Swift. Even though you know she did love my special, that just is it coming.
Out she did?
Yes?
She did?
Yeah?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah that was wild.
I mean it's it's I would have been I wouldn't have predicted it, but I did manifest it.
It did happen. But yeah, even with her, I'm scared.
I've said so much and obviously something I've said before has come back to.
She doesn't care. Yeah, she's forgiven me. She she gets that.
It all comes from a place of ups of love, right and just loving my girl. I love and that's why I really do believe, like obviously we're gonna we're best friends. I'm manifesting this Taylor and I'm in I'm in the zone you are going to be. I love her so much. We're so happy for our girl finding Travis. Yeah, but is Taylor's one of Taylor's best friends and she is just as big of a swifty as I am like just as obsessed, knows all the words, is just as so. I think that, you know, me and Gigi really get along in that sense when we all hang out. Well, you guys have discussed that we are like almost like too fanatical to be her friend, but we're like, it's cool, she lets us be her friends. It's nice.
Did you have this Do you know Joe Parra the comedian. Yes, So he's got a tour out right now and he's calling the tour the Para's tour and it's a lower case P and then capital e r a s.
That's so smart, that's really good.
And then also in Taylor Swift News sort of. So last night in Monday Night football was the Eagles versus the Chiefs. That was Travis Kelcey versus Jason Kelcey, like the.
Brother the Brothers Blitz or something, the Brothers football players.
Yeah, yeah, both Travis.
And Kelsey is alignment on the Philadelphia Eagles Pro Bowl lineman and Travis Kelcey is a tight end on the Chiefs Pro Bowl tight end and they played against each other in the Super Bowl last year Chiefs won. Last night was a rematch of the Super Bowl Eagles versus Chiefs Eagles one. But interestingly in the news is that in that game, Travis Kelsey had a very important fumble in the red zone and it basically was the reason why the Chiefs lost the game, devastating. Taylor wasn't there. He has not lost when Taylor was Taylor.
Yes, we're now starting to build the association. She's going to be expected at the games.
But also Travis, in an interview or maybe on his podcast, start talking about how he's in a lot of pain all the time from all of his injuries. He's had ten surgeries and he's thinking that maybe this may be his last season. Now whether that's he's going to follow through on that or not, but he's saying he might retire soon, which is interesting because he was not saying that last year.
Leading to my prediction, what's your part if I've said it yet, but I have.
I have a prediction for how it's all going.
To play out.
Oh okay, can you say.
Taylor will be pregnant. Taylor will announce your pregnancy. This is my prediction. Taylor will be And believe me, I don't want this to happen because the second she gets pregnant.
Our roads diverge. And I met a bestie last night.
At my show at the Funny Bone, and she said to me, oh my god, when you were freezing your eggs. I was just like, no, because I'm not going to relate to you anymore if.
You do that. And I was like, oh my god, that's the way I feel about Taylor.
So shout out to Sarah who I met last night. She and I feel the same way about Taylor, like because she's a swifty too. I signed her Taylor Swift shirt actually, and she was like, I go, our girl's going to get pregnant. You know it though, Like we're going to lose her. And it's okay, how because I want her to have everything she wants in life. She's thirty three, so she will. She will announce the pregnancy. I believe I'm predicting early twenty twenty five swearing.
Are you predicting, you're manifesting? No, I predict Sure.
This is prediction because I'm saying I will. Otherwise i'd say it's it's happened. Wait, okay, I don't know. I haven't studied it enough. If people have studied laws of traction, please let me know of any more speciens.
You're saying in twenty twenty five.
Yeah, she is going to finish her eras toort in November twenty twenty four. That time gives her time her body to relax. There will be let me just change it. Actually, she needs a little time to relax, to recoup. There will be an engagement in the spring of twenty twenty five. There will be an announcement of a birth in the summer of twenty twenty five. There will be a wedding when she is pregnant. It's the new thing she's going. She's going the other way. I don't think there'll be a wedding first. I think they'll be a baby first. I think Taylor does her own thing. I don't know why. I just I think that that's the way it's gonna happen. They'll get married, She'll be fully pregnant. This is gonna happen sometime in the late summer fall. She will give birth in the winter arey in twenty thinking December, because I think she probably wants a baby around the same time as her So this is.
December twenty twenty five.
She will give birth to her first baby, and then she will have another baby with him by twenty twenty late twenty twenty six, she will announce again twenty twenty seven, twenty twenty eight. There'll be two or three kids. There will be a divorce at some point. Now, this is not something I wish on her. It's not something I'm manifesting. This is just she will have a successful ten She will have a successful six to ten year relationship with Travis Kelsey. That's okay, that's a successful relationship. That's no judgment. Just because something doesn't last forever doesn't mean it's not good. I think that is a great long haul she but I want her out there again. I want her to find other love. I want her to do it all over again. She will date Harry's styles again. It'll come back around old again. In their forties, they will get married. They will and I do Belie leave. She will end up with Harry's house. They will divorce. She will keep this going. This is what I wish for myself. In a lot of ways.
I like this.
You just keep going. Everything doesn't have to last till you die. We live way too long for that. You gotta keep She might get back with Travis. There'll be a second marriage after Harry. These are my predictions. I just based on the song Suburban Legends, which I believe is about Harry, as are the Vultraks in nineteen eighty nine. Most of them are about Harry Suburban Legends. I believe that she's talking about it's she's talking about her high school reunion. That she has a fantasy of walking hand in hand with him together at their high school reunion after they've already been together and broken up. She's meaning the Grammys. That's her high school reunion.
She sees it.
Someday they're gonna walk back in together. Do I want her and Travis last forever? Yes, I'm not saying anything bad. And by the way, none of this means anything. It's I wish my best friend's divorce. I think it's a great thing that relationships ebb and flow and you get out.
I don't.
I don't think divorce is a failure.
So when I say that, I'm not speaking from a place if I want her to be in pain, I want her. I just want her to be in love again and write about it. So that's just my and I think it's very hard to stay in a relationship with your celebrity forever, unless you're Goldie Hawn and Russell Brand, what Crow whatever, they're not even married, and they're not even married. She might not even you're married. But I look forward to going to all the weddings.
Oh my god.
Yeah, and you guys will be best friends.
M h.
Not after she heard that.
If I hope, Taylor, if you heard that, you would not offend it. I really, I'm totally actually like joking about all of this. I honestly hope. I think.
I think Travis is your end game.
And I mean that by the song, and because when she did sing Endgame as one of her secret songs in a recent concert, there was a glimmer in her eye.
That we haven't seen before and and the way she ran to him.
We didn't talk about it last week, and Bessie's were dying for me to address it, but that run to him.
Where was this was in?
It wasn't Rio, it was whatever city she was in before Rio in her South American tour. She gots off stage and he's waiting outside this like curtained area, and she runs off stage and like as soon as she sees him she starts running and then runs into his arms. He twirls her around, they kiss, and then she they put her their arms around each other and they went into a tent. Thank you for giving us that moment, because you know what, they could have done it behind a curtain. They could have just waited till they got in there. But they gave everyone that moment because we everything was one of the best days for girls and gay men was that day that we all got to share in them hugging and kissing. It was like the end of a rom com scene. It was a beautiful They swirled around. She gave us that moment, and people go, it's a pr relationship, you know it can be. It's not pr necessarily to just give your fans what they want, and they want to see you happy in love. We all love to see that kind of affection. I thought it was a beautiful moment and I'm really glad, Thank you Taylor, Thank you Travis for not keeping that behind closed doors.
Yeah that's great.
I really thought it was like we we fucking collectively as swifties freaked out when she did that, and it was the same show when she said, you know, she goes Karma is my boyfriend, you know that song, and she goes, Usually she was used to be talking about Joe in the song, her ex boyfriend in that song, and she was like, Karma is the guy on the screen coming straight home to me. And it used to be Joe is the guy on the screen, he's in the movies. But at that show, she goes, Karma is the guy on the Chiefs coming straight home too, And he didn't know, and he was like, so excited.
I heard that. Yeah, and I just love that.
They're like he's on his podcast talking about her, like she's just a normal gal.
She's getting talked about on podcasts, Like I.
Really love it.
I'm happy for him.
Really, I've never been happier for anyone in my life, I don't think. And no one deserves it more than that girl. She worked so hard. She yesterday she broke her heel in Rio and she's going through a tough time.
At the Rio show.
A girl died at her show. Yeah, horribly, Yeah, girl died.
Well.
They had one hundred and forty degree temperatures inside the dam stadium because they shut Yeah, there was heated Joshua and this girl passed out and died from complications from it during Cruel Summer.
So like at the Oh God.
She second show of the thing, she passed out dies and and so they canceled the second night show. People were dying for water. It's one hundred and forty degrees because they shut the vents because they didn't want people outside of the arena watching or hearing. So they shut the best and they were charging eighteen dollars for a water bottle, and they wouldn't let people bring in outside water.
So it was I heard there's a new rule.
One thousand people fainted a thousand. That's one in seventy people. Do you remember their water bottle issue. We would go to the you have to buy a water then they hand you a cup and you have to pour your water bottle.
You can't because water bottles are good a throw like they you know, with a cap on it, it kind of zips through the air and you could throw it at we and you know, just a big, a big plastic cup is hard harder to hurl because it would get caught in the air. And so yeah, and oh God, so and Taylor did in a previous show, I think the night before the Girl died, say like, hey, will you guys not throw things on stage? It really scares me, and so she like had to tell them, so I think they were it was, but you know, it's just been rough and Taylor I get like.
Emotional thinking about it.
But then so she canceled the Saturday show because it was still horrible temperatures.
The girl died on the Friday show.
On Sunday night, she did the next set of you Know the Next Rio Show to make up for the Saturday and during her secret song, she played this song Bigger than the Whole Sky, and it's like she definitely She also put out a statement prior to this, after Anna's death where she said, I am so heartbroken about this death. I can't talk about it on stage because I get too emotional. Just please know that I'm thinking about it, like it was just this. Anya told me this weekend she was like I read that statement and I was jealous of her empathy, like she just seems she was like I just never cared about like anything that much. And Taylor's just you can just tell Taylor's just like this. She's a really sweet, bleeding heart like girl. If and so she sang this song Bigger than the Whole Sky and like, and the lyrics are like, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
You were bigger than the whole sky, you were more than just a short time. I've got a lot to pine about. I've got a lot to figure out.
I'm never gone to meet what could have been, would have been, what should have been?
You.
Gives me chills thinking about it. But like the whole audience like knew it was for her. And it's like this really really sad song about you know, we initially thought it was maybe about a miscarriage, but it's really about like it's just about death, and it's just like about someone dying too young, probably because I'm never gonna meet what could have been, should have been, what would have been you? And and so she that was her like tribute, and she got emotional during it. And then last night at the show, she broke her heel, right and this is this is what I love is watching this clip of her breaking her heel and it's right away like she broke it, I think during her performance of The Man. So she's in the same outfit for the opening, which is Miss Americana, which is you know, a verse and a chorus, and then she goes right into Cruel Summer, which is the whole song, and then she goes into The Man, which is the whole song. And then you need to calm down. She's in these amazing boots, Lubaton boots, and the heel fucking snapped off right in the middle of the Man, because at some point in the Man you could see that it's off. And then she goes on to do Lover, which she's just standing for with her guitar at the microphone, and like, I guess you would have told me this happened. I would have been like, oh, She'll say something about it and be like, well, my heel broke and the show's still going on. This bitch. She did not even address it. She just points that toe acts like it's still there. Because you know what Taylor has in mind a lesser performer, I e. Me thinking about what I would do in that scenario. I would call it out because I go everyone's gonna see this. Taylor knows most of the crowd does not see that her heel is split. And this is like a thing that think people. People constantly think, you know when you go out and you like I have a sigh in my eye. I know it like you like get to it before other people can get to it, and people go, I would never even notice if unless you told me. Taylor's smart enough to know I don't need to ruin this moment and make this about my broken heel. It's not a thing. Just act like it's there, manifest that heel. So it's really cool to watch her play lover because she's just pointing that toe and it's as if it's there, you're just not there.
Yes, hard Wait did the heel actually just pop off.
The whole heel and it's like a four inch her toe is if she has a four inch heel on it and you can't tell it all and she's walking around and she's just walking on a pointed toe like like Barbie you know her. It's just that little detail. I go, wow, that is That's That's how proche she is. She doesn't anyone else would have been fine, and she done and funny. I think a less her on a different tour would have called it out because that's but she is just.
Now she stops for queen.
Yeah, she's just like she's just the best performer going. I'm just like such obviously such a fan. So that's my home on Taylor TI Ride. We got to go to break but I want, well we get back. I want to hear about this is my first time seeing you in a really long time.
I know, mother, have you missed?
Yeah, it's too long. We're gonna talk about your Paris vacation, your European vacation, that you're back all right after this, we're back my mom. Brian noah, earl here, Mom. You just got back from Paris and Amsterdam.
Is there two places?
Yes?
Yes, excuse me?
Did you go anywhere else?
No, actually we did go. We went to Paris for a couple of days and then we went to the countryside.
That's what I thought.
Okay, yeah, yeah, h this little town. I can't even tell you the name of it. That's pretty bad. That's okay anyway, yeah, but we no, okay, no, it's this town. You would have net you won't even No one ever hurt, No one knows. But anyway, it's all, you know, like countryside and there's a lot of forest. And we went there because we were invited because of a woman we were with. So we went over for went to visit my sister. She rented an apartment over there for three months. She's still there, and she invited us for a week to stay at the apartment. To stay at the apartment.
Was it's so nice.
Yeah, it's pretty nice place.
Yeah, you know what she was paying.
Now I forget what she did.
Tell me.
I wasn't like shocked.
Okay, you know, it might be in the country side in Paris, and uh, it was a beautiful apartment building but.
So gorgeous, and they have.
There's a name I forget the uh, the architect that they're all copied from. But they all have a facial front, and then they have a courtyard on the inside, so all the apartments circle this courtyard, so they all have lighting on all inside of their apartments and it's just a really interesting thing. Okay, anyway, I don't even know, but you can see in the other apartments. You feel like you basically can't get your window. Yeah, you just can't leave your windows open because people can see right now. But anyway, and this building is from eighteen hundreds, so it's old. But anyway, we stayed there for a couple of nights and then we went to the countryside. But the biggest thing we did was go on this, uh followed a hunt which was turned out to be really crazy that they actually chase let these hound dogs chase down a deer for miles and miles and hours and hours until it is itself down and then they killed the deer, which that hounds to.
Did you watch that? Yeah? Kind of sell some and it was like like, why how do you do you something like that? Is it like in the arena or something.
This is an historical thing that they've been doing for thousands of years. It's a castle these kids rape.
Yeah.
They It was basically like, yeah, you can't watch that.
Does this whole thing of like it's historical.
I know it's weird.
But when you guys told me that about this, I just assumed you wouldn't. Like I assumed you'd go to the country step, but I didn't assume you'd go on the hunt. Your stomach that well.
I honestly I didn't know how it was going to end. I just said what I thought they called it. They corner the deer, and what normally happens is they the headhunter slits the throat of the deer. Oh that's better, better than being slowly attacked by hound dogs.
Yeah, I guess, well, was there a chance that the deer would get away? Or is there no chance? Like?
No, he was Actually it took like three hours to corner this deer.
Three hours.
Yea.
It was running back and forth. They're so smart they know they go get another deer and get these hounds on another deer, and so then they chase this other deer for a wal smart the deer. The deer are like they they figures out.
Well, it's almost like they're an intelligent creature that shouldn't be killed for fing no reason.
No, it is so we were like, uh shook up where you're like, oh my god, how did this?
How does this happen? It's a big, big ceremony too. They are eating this has happened. I mean three hours. What are you doing now? Are you in the back of a chariot. I'm in the back of the jeep, Oh jeep, I'm in the back.
Following following these country people with on horseback with uh they're dressed in regalia, like with coats and hats, and I mean there's a.
Fucking bunch of dorks.
I mean it looks like something out of no, no, I mean anyone. They I was filming the whole time, going wow, this is crazy, and so May came up and they go, you are not posting that, correct, And I'm like, why.
Because they know it's inhumane what they're doing.
Yeah, yeah, it's gotta be I mean, And then I started looking it up, going, oh my god, I can't believe that.
Probably they were very.
Nervous about me posting this because it would you know, display exactly.
Because what they're doing is like, I mean, eyes wide shut, like some weird like kind of cold.
Kind Yeah, it's a weird thing, but it's like they've been doing it for thousands of years. But anyway, I was reading all about it and in the countryside there's all these castles and manor castles and they all have these hunts. Everybody has a hunt and it's a thing they do there. It's very you know, you have to be invited to these things. Oh so, no, one's really it's.
Not for the you know, expect you to come on a podcast start gabbing about it.
Now you're gonna start chasing you. It's not going to take three hours.
To catch you.
By the way, you guys can tire you out, that's anyway, that was crazy. And then we did you eat it? Now? Really? No, what did they do with it?
They let the they skin it and they give they said, they bag it up and they give all the you know, the feeding parts to the peasants.
There's still peasants, that's what they say. Does that just mean poor people?
And well I don't hate that that poor part, but they chase it for three hours, can't isn't there better things to do with your time?
No, it's really a crazy thing to watch. It's like.
They just like watch succession instead.
Yeah, now the morning show, I would recommend this is.
Two thousand years of doing this on the countryside.
Yes, it's just a weird No, lots that things are protected by it's tradition.
It's tradition.
It was always been done.
It's slavery it right, but it's tradition. No, you have to respect it and like tiptoe around all their bullshit.
Listen.
I wasn't endorsing this. I was just like being like going wow at the end. And then there was there's a big huge party at the castle and at dinner and dancing and celebratory.
Well, but then we went to Amsterdam.
Final thought, Yeah, you walked through the red light district. Isn't that wild?
Oh?
I thought, walk in those alleys where the girls are just like tapping the glass and trying to get your attention.
It's so nuts. We didn't walk it down an alley was the main drag.
I mean like, but then you would cut off and I know that it's the main drag, but then you would cut down a little corridor and there's like they're right there and they're like it's like you're at the zoo.
I was just in behind this glass. Yeah.
I was like looking at these girls and then it was like going kind of proud of them, like let's talk about that honestly, that they have the right to do whatever they want with their body if if they want no Listen, this is a tricky subject because I mean, well, they don't have to be behind this.
Maybe they do.
Maybe they're I don't know how pampsy the legal thing over there.
Yes, so maybe they are collecting all the cash themselves. But there is oftentimes when it's presented like this woman is owning her own stuff and she's there's usually a man behind it collecting.
Well, it didn't feel like nah, it felt doesn't feel that way. No, it felt like she was on there on her own. She wanted to be there.
And there's some old ones, there's some unfortunate looking ones. There's like some you know.
These girls all look pretty unfortunate, pretty good.
Yeah, just like oh yeah, because I say ugly, but like they there were some ugly girls.
I feel bad that that's what they do to make money for them, but.
I some of them enjoy it, yeah for sure, and some of them look at it like you know, I look at things people do and I go, I would never fucking want to do that all day. I'm trying to think of it like being being a trainer, Like I go to a trainer and I'm like, oh my god, like I'm just another one of her clients, like all day she just has to be like hi, like with nine different people like hey, okay, and then I love that, but yes, I know, but I would hate that.
Like I'm saying, like there are things.
Sex can be something that it's just obviously it's it. It can be joyless, but you just like get through it. It's like any kind of job, so pressure.
But I mean I felt like they were there on their own a cord.
Yes, but yes, maybe I'm wrong. No, I don't know. I don't think you are.
I think And that's just always the sensitive thing I have. I'm talking about peorn a lot in my stand up special. That's uh, I'm winning that Emmy four or I won that Emmy four and I'm talking about my Yeah, like, well, I've said that I like would like to There's a part of me that was like, oh, I could see to myself doing porn and you were like, you take that out of the reality show.
I don't want people to knowing.
He said that, because it's performative. That's what I like about it. It's like you're performing this thing and you're doing something that people go like, I could never do that. There's something that's really interesting about that to me. But it's usually I don't like that. It's met with like that's just you're disgusting, and I wouldn't do that because you're I'm disgusting. It's like, but you do do this with your husband, but for some reason that's not discusting.
Like it's doing it with with some gross guys.
Well, maybe the guy's not gross to them, and maybe it's you know, I wouldn't want to touch bodies all day, but some people massage people, you know, like there's there's some people that, but then.
There are people who work in hospices who have to deal with you know, dying perfect exam.
Yeah, fucking those people.
Yea, what.
Taking this in the wrong direction.
But it's it is, I yeah, I have that dilemma because I know there are lots of porn stars that are like, I love it, and I chose this and this is exactly what I want to do. But then, you know, I feel like most of the stuff I watch is not that. It's it's women that are this wasn't their first choice.
You're going, why would they have to send me some guy when they can just go on like only fans and starting only fans and never have to touch anybody. Is there's an interesting get their online following going? Or is there something about so.
Much more lucrative and maybe you can make so much in one night and maybe it's yeah, it's probably financially just there's more money to be made in the red light district from just like horny dudes on Baxo parties.
But it is weird to be in this crowd that's shuffling so slowly, pair through these.
People like a museum, and you look in each window and you see this girl just adjusting her thong, licking her lips, making eye contact with you. We went to a live sex show. Oh, I knew you guys should have gone to that. It's so funny.
No, your dad wanted to, he said we should. Maybe. I'm like, you should have gone.
You know, it's funny. It's not like even sexy. It's you know, in ted Lasso, they said, it's just tired people having sex, and that really is what.
Well, that's what I was thinking. I thought I'll be bored. You would, you would see a lot of yourself in it. You know me too well. But it was just but it wasn't answerdam awesome, isn't it just?
Ye?
It's such a cool.
To everybody, so laid back, and everyone's so nice. I mean I was looking for someone not nice?
Oh really?
Yeah? I mean talking in Paris? Were they not nice? Oh? They're nice in Paris?
Well did you find like my fear of going to Paris is obviously like they're going to be like, oh stupid American like you everywhere like.
Everyone everywhere we went. I was like, people talk about that and it's.
Kind of like the New York thing where they're like New York was a mean and that's just.
Not Maybe they're just peking it though.
I mean.
I have a friend who lives in Paris, and he was like, they she's now lived there for a couple of years, and she's like, they hate every year. They hate America. They hate you if you're not Parisian enough, imagine you're American.
Yeah, they just didn't feel that way. I didn't feel ever.
Like does everyone I hear that everyone's like, so is everyone stylish?
Yeah? Is everyone pretty? Is everyone smoking? Is everyone wearing like a lot of smoke?
Really?
Like no one's dressed like in labels or like wearing.
A bunch of it didn't look like no sweat, you know there's boots, there's no they're not. No one's carrying a coffee cup walking down the street like everyone is like they.
Might be carrying coffee, but it's those are Americans.
But no ugs. You did not see like ugs and sweats.
Like no one's dressed like grubby people dressed nice to go just.
Down the streets. Yeah.
Eighteen hundreds.
Yeah, tradition.
Yeah, another people are dressed nice to go watch the deer get torture and killed, got.
It and killed.
That's such a weird thing, you would it was. I do not want to hear Dad talk about it. I know he's gonna make it extra visceral just to like get at my vegan heart. Well he does that sometimes where he'll just like.
It was actually really cool the way that talk about it, the fear in the deer's eye, it just it was almost Poeticay, oh, how do you know that it's.
Bad for the meat? That's why you know you have to They can't.
That's why they give it to the peasants.
Else theo is coursing through their veins and that spoils the meat.
Okay, speaking of veins real quick, I'm like, so obviously I'm doing plates all the.
Time now and so proud of you.
Thanks me too. And it's just it's the way of life, and it's so it's so hard.
It's not getting easier.
So many besties sent me this video of this pilates instructor that was being spoofed of like she's going like and now your ribcage is a sweater. You're knitting it together, knit it, knit it again, and four three knit Now your belly you scoop it like some scallion cream cheese. You scoop and you're gonna scoop three yes. And it's like they just they talk in a different way. They have all these weird things that they say to get you to visualize stuff.
It's really I'm starting to love it.
I'm starting to feel the thing that I always hated when people said, which was I've heard the first time I ever heard about pilates. This girl was like, my body as seriously transformed since doing ploates. I have a different body. And I was just like, wh But it's kind of true. It's like you just start, I've said it before. You feel I feel like I'm learning to walk again. I feel as frustrated as you see like veterans who have lost their legs and they like, you know, when they're struggling and they're like, I want to do this anymore, and they're like, I feel that way during this of like trying to engage certain muscles, and oftentimes they do say, pretend you're Lieutenant Dan and you have no muscles. Everything is from your core. So when you're doing leg stuff, they're like, don't work your leg muscles. It's like, I'll be doing a leg exercise and she's like, pretend to how you would do with this if you were Lieutenant Dan, And I'm like, but he doesn't have legs. I'm using my leg What does that even mean? But it's all because it's all core muscles. But I feel like him because I'm like, fuck this, this is frustrating.
I fucking hate that.
I ever went to war and I scream and I don't do that, but I I worked so hard, but I was gonna say I was looking into my hamstrings are like my tightest area, and my hips, like I just want to be able to bend forward and not have this like low hunch. And then I've been looking into YouTube videos about stretching, and do you know that the reason you can't stretch and that you're limited in your stretching is very little to do with your muscles actually being tight that you could do pretty much all stretches. It's in your fucking head. It's your nerves getting scared and then telling your body no, no, no, no, no, you're gonna You're gonna you can't go any further.
So it's really Once I learned that, I'm like, oh shit.
So that's why a lot of stretches you're supposed to like start slow and like teach your nerves like, hey, nerves, it's okay, Like I'm not gonna hurt this person. Because the second you go for a stretch, your body locks up immediate because your nerves send a signal to your brain going like owow ow, you can't do this. This is impossible. Your body is if you stretch anymore, it'll rip something. But that's not true. You're able to move. It's your fucking head holding you back.
Is that interesting? Brian? Do you know anything about this?
I know that just just disclaimer, like you shouldn't try to force yourself to overstretch something. Something might snap, But you can get paid. Like if you think you're just quote unquote not flexible, right, you can become flexible over time.
But there's a lot of mind to it as opposed to just.
Like there's a lot of mind to everything.
Yeah, I just didn't know that that. I mean, I'm not saying it's all that. I do believe that they are tight muscles and that that Yeah, you can like pull that split you Like, I really do.
Think you can.
I think it's like it's it's a matter of your brain getting in the way, going like you can't do that, and I think that we but it's so cemented in us to believe that your your brain, your thoughts, and your nerves, because it does hurt, and your nerves are hurting, so it's sending a signal that it's something and you think it's your muscles, but it's not. It's your nerves, and your nerves can move.
You got to ease it. You got to eat into it ease. I used to do that. There's a similar concept with starting strength, which is this workout thing right where you would constantly make the weights heavier and heavier, and like they would say, like you think you can't do five reps of that ridiculous weight, you can and it's amazing how if you just get over the mental hurdle, you actually can squat that much weight five times as long as you're building up to it. Though you can't just go out there and believe much at the rock, Yeah, then you'll really hurt yourself.
Yeah, there's limitations, but crystaled me this anecdote yesterday of like, there's some study where they put rats in a bucket and they may they exhausted them to the point where the rat drowns, right or like is about to drown. And I'm sure they I'm sure they didn't rescue them because sciences cruel, but they the rats drowned.
Let's say it.
This is just a made up number, but they drown at eighteen minutes, right, So they took another batch of rats and at seventeen minutes, knowing that they're all going to give up at eighteen they take them out at seventeen minutes and they let them catch their breath for a couple of minutes. They put them back in. And how long do you think those last rats lasted?
Seventeen minutes?
Like hours, because the rat now thinks someone's going to come and get me. When the rat has no hope, it's going to give up so much sooner. So if you think that there's an end in sight, you can hold on for that much longer.
Yes, that's learned helplessness. That's a major study on optimism where they would take there was a one with dogs. There's one of the rats where they would press a button and a pellet of food would come out, and so they learn if they press this button, a pellet of food would come out, and then they did it. They brought their rats back in. They pressed the button and no food comes out. And then every once in a while they pressed the button and they get an electric shock, right, And then they pressed the button and then food comes out, and they get confused, and so now they keep pressing the button. They get shocked, there's nothing, and then eventually they just stop pressing the button, and then they turned the food back on. If they were to press the button one more time, food would come out, but they have learned helplessness, and so they just sit there and they never press the button again.
So what do we learn from that.
We learn that it's possible to break someone's spirit in a way that would cause them to So, so what we learned from it is we should be optimistic. One of your main goals for longevity is to always try to be in an optimistic mindset. Otherwise, if you learn helplessness, that's what you'll fall into a depression and you'll stop doing the things that could potentially keep you alive. There is the mis will keep you alive longer, optimism will along at your life.
Yeah.
I mean, I think that's why old people are always like I just laugh all the time, like those like you know, one hundred and three about anything. Yeah, Like I just have like a yeah, I'm pretty. There, I'm pretty. They're not usually like very stressful people. But another study, just real quick, there was one where they chased a deer for three hours and they what they learned from it at the very end after it was mauled by a bunch of dogs is nothing. They learned nothing. It was pointless and.
Years. We learned this lesson in fourteen ninety three.
I guess I need to keep repeating it, see if we get different results. All right, guys, Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast today. We will see you next week on the show. Make sure to get tickets to my show in Seattle. I am taping my comedy special seven o'clock nine to thirty shows Dying for besties to be there. No, I cannot do a meet and greet that night. It's just not going to work out. I might come up with some way to meet up with besties maybe the next day or the day before or something, but I can't do it that night. I'm so sorry, But that doesn't mean I don't want you there and that I won't feel your love there. So get those tickets for Seattle December sixteenth, make a trip of it if you want flyout.
I'd love to see you there. Can't wait for it.
And I'll be in Brea next week with Brian Frangie.
Oh no, not next week. I'll be in Detroit next week.
I'll also be in Munhall, Pennsylvania next week, and then the following week I'll be in Brea, California at the Brea Improv with Brian Frangie. So come out and see that. And then a week after that, Seattle is my special taping and then the Emmys. I gotta get ready for those. All right, guys, thank you so much for listening. Don't be ka and manifest that shit.
