The nick Niser, He's Nikki. Hello, good morningening Noah. I don't know why I always want to say good morning, like we're live, but listen, that's the state I'm in. It's morning. It's kind of the truth. We are live. I mean we are, yeah, we are. But it's like people could be listening to this and it could be like very late at night, but it's morning somewhere. Um, and uh, it's morning here for sure. God, I just cannot like this morning. I did wake up feeling um way better than I did uh yesterday. The depression is lifted. I was really depressed, um this past weekend and um yesterday even for a lot of the day. It has to do with my period. I mean, it's it must. I think I have what a lot of people call p d D on top of just being normally depressed because you know the state of the world and kind of seeing things for what they are. Sometimes you just are like, well, things are pretty sad. But it's lifted today. Isn't that weird how it can just like lift like a cold. That's how it feels for me. Like getting out of bed yesterday was not easy. I was in a mood eventually got out of it, but um, yeah, it's got to be that my like do you have do you have any what are your pre menstrual symptoms? No? Like do you I never see my goddamn period coming. Maybe that's because I get it so irregularly. I am always shocked that it's My body still functions like that. But minds are coming, dorms of ruin. I think we've lined up because I'm feeling the same way. And for me, it's moodiness, Like my mood just goes up, it's up and down. I can't control it. I really only have one week in the month where I feel like totally awesome and a hundred percent I agree. It's like p MS is like pre post and present. It's all, it's all of the things. It doesn't just because men listening. It's PMS dance. I found out through different bits I did for shows that men don't know what p MS stands for. A lot of women don't either. But it's pre menstrul and Um it's supposed to be like oh the days before, but it really it's the whole damn thing. And I don't mean I realized that the reason I just had an epiphany the other day. The reason we're fucking insane as teenage girls is because hormones. Like, there's no I just thought we were taught and like that was just a phase you go through because you're just you know, I mean, no one can help the way they are. So I never like blamed teenage girls or teenagers for all being irrational, But your body is a swarming, roiling tundra storm of hormones, and sometimes the only thing you can do is say fuck you, mom and slam your room door and then not come out until everyone maybe has forgotten that you did that, or to hurl your body onto the floor screaming, crying because someone got got a car and you have to drive something like your mom's gross cars. Why am I talking about my teenage life like it isn't my life now because my mom did get a car and now I have to drive her gross car. What is happening? I'm honestly, I was presenting a thing that would I would cry about nice school, and it's really my reality. Um, I have a I have a problem where I uh don't like to have nice things myself, but I like for people in my life to have nice things like I would rather buy designer clothes and really expensive things for my family and my friends then myself. Um, I was. I got my mom a car over the weekend, which is probably the biggest purchase I've ever made. It was the first car I've ever bought, because the first car I got on my own I was leasing, and so it's the first car I bought and it wasn't even for me. Um, and it felt really good to do. I think I'm like really into buying gifts in a way that like people don't even need to thank me because I get so much out of it that it it. I mean, they do need to thank me, because that's there's nothing I hate more than giving something and then it doesn't receive a thank you, which, by the way, I should let go. It shouldn't depend on a thank you. Clearly that's a hang up I have. My family does that a lot, where they'll be like and they didn't even thank go for that, or they didn't even say anything about the thing that we did. I brought lunch for them and they didn't even say. Think it's like, you can't just don't do things waiting for the thank you because you're people are aways gonna let you down if you're always what's the phrase, expectations are future resentments, so like I have no expectations for anyone, so I really I try not to. But um, I was supposed to get a Tesla right on the heels of my getting my mom a car. I was gonna buy two cars in one day and just be like suck it, like I need a car, Mama needs a car. That's what I called myself. And also my mom needs a car. Mama needs a car, and mement needs a car. So I took my mom to a dealership and I pretended with the Andrew pretended like I was looking for myself. We test drove two cars, and I was and I wanted to get her a hybrid because I just want them to be globally like they're both like they care about the environment a lot. There's just no reason to drive a gas guzzling car anymore if you if you could afford it. So I was like, you're getting a higher I go, I don't know which one to get, but it your car, so you decide, and she was just like wait what and then she wanted to go. She was like no, NICKI you can't go. It's not up for debate. And she goes, well, then if that's the case, can I look on and I go, no, you're not allowed to go on Craigslist. We are not going driving to Edwardsville. So you can made a guy in a parking lot about a Mazda that was, you know it working to save six bucks because it was in an accident that only hit the door and they fixed it and then the door and then the there's rain inside the door somewhere and it starts to smell like mil There's always an issue with some car that you get a discount on. I go, I don't we're getting you're getting one here or you're not getting one? Really, you know, moved along the process because how often are we so paralyzed by like I could just get a better deal. I can find something I like more, both in dating and car shopping, because I was supposed to go get a Tesla and guess what, I'm frozen. I can't do it. I cannot spend that much money on something that I don't really care about up you know, like I don't. I just need to get from point A to point B. And my mom's old two thousand four Lexus that is a Jelapi and a half even though it's Lexus, so it drives cruises well, but it's old. That's what I'm tooling around it now. And I'm like, I don't need a car. So yesterday and then I go then I had a thing of like, I need a Prius. That's what I want. I just want to fucking I've been talking about this since my podcast over the summer. This is embarrassing. I was like, I'll get a brand new Prius, treat myself because it's not it's not like a it's not fifty dollar Tesla. It's not like this thing that I have to keep so nice because it's a Tesla, and it's like, and why do I need it? I wanted to get a Tesla because it's green and it's electric boogie woogie woogie, and it uh, you know. But then I also was like, you know, Priuses get fifty one miles until the gallon. They feel good. They're not electric, fully, but and I just Priests are not ostentatious. They're just like my ex boyfriend needs to say, I love a break because you could be rich or you could just not be but like, no one knows because it's just good for them. It's just a practical car. No one knows. You're not saying anything about your status, really, and I liked that. And Andrew was like, you should get maybe. Andrew's point was like, you need to get a car. And we went. We went in test dro of a preass to date because he found when he was like, let's go do this one a little bit of a um loyalty to the place that sold me my mom's car because those guys were nice. They let me roast him. We had a rapport, and it just like what do you owe them? And I'm like, I don't know. They were nice guys and now I know them, so why wouldn't I get one from them if I can. So I'm negotiating with that guy via text, the dealer that sold my mom's car, and I'm like, I'll do I'll pay cash if you can hit this price. And then I'm negotiating with the dealer at the shop and at the other one. And I just got the idea that he when I go with Andrew, they don't even look at me. They think we're a couple. They they act like I have no, I go, I'm paying, by the way, sir, So why are you acting like I the guys like you could put eyelashes on the headlines. I mean, he didn't say that, but that's seriously the kind of things that this guy is showing me. And then I get in the car and the inner console will not open, like there's like one, you know, like the the middle console. Sometimes there's like a top section and then there's another button for like the big section. The big section would not open up. And these guys, both Andrew and the guy, the guy really was talking now to me, there's a button. I go, sir, I'm looking at all the buttons there isn't want to open it. And I go, you know what, actually, let's see if a man can figure it out. I got out, Andrew getson cannot figure it out, and it felt so satisfying, but it's just like I feel like you walk into these dealerships and they don't even look at you like someone who could as a woman with a man. Then he talks to Andrew like let's talk about engines, and it's like why is Andrew get the insider like the little whispering like deal memos and I get treated like, well, the wife is you know, she wants what she wants. Can we get it in pink? That's how I felt. And I go, I don't want to give this place to my business because that guy treated me like I don't have money and that I'm not the one making the decision. And I just go. And Andrew's like, why don't we just get it here instead of going over the other one. And I go because I don't want to give this guy my business because that annoyed me how he treated me. And then Andrew, I guess it whispered to him that I was famous. That's what they were whispering about. I thought they were whispering about like a PR financing and you know, horsepower and cylinders. But Andrew was like, she's a famous comedian. She doesn't like to tell people. That's what he told me. He told me later, and um, the truth is I love to tell people, but not when this guy. I did want to have a Julia Roberts moment of like big mistake, huge, But and there was also part of me that wanted me to spend the money so I could go, you know what, sir, you actually I'll buy it here in cash, and I'll pay more to show you. And it's like, who's that showing? No one wins in that, so I was like, I don't want to give this guy my business, even though he ended up being nice once he found out I was famous. He we were like walking around the parking while looking at used cars. I'm sorry, pre owned cars. It's all such a fucking ruse. You say used and they say pre owned back to I go, do you have any used preuss our pre owned selection of hybrids? And I go, you mean used. They're used and it's not like a bad where I'm like, stop slut shaming these cars just because they've had some experience. I really felt that way. I'm like, everything is to be fucking new for men. Men love new, they love now, and I'm and I'm gonna start speaking to all men. Some men love used cars, and I'm not talking about vintage cars. I'm talking about like a two thousand eighteen as opposed to one I don't care. I don't care if it had a previous owner. People take such good care of their cars compared to me that, um, they seem new. And I think that buying a new car is the dumbest thing you can do. Like I have a friend who was a car salesman forever and he was like, Nikki, buying a used car is literally the dumbest thing you can do. And that's stuck in my head and I will never not I will never buy a used car. That being said, I might well the Tesla I was supposed to go drive and look into. I just don't care about looking cool. I just don't like Tesla's do look cool. But I was getting them for the environment. And I know you're like, why don't you get a leaf? Then those are twelve thousand dollars, Well those are shipped, and I will get crushed. I will be a little crushed. Can if I plow into a Semi. I mean, I don't know if Tesla's are safer. I assume they are. They can, you know, go in space and ship so but Tesla's looks so good and I would feel so cold. I would have to keep it so nice because it's a Tesla. You can't like jump up a Tesla a Prius, I can really beat up. And if I back into something, if I if I ding the car door with a Tesla, I'm gonna go oh no. If I dig my priest, I'm gonna go, oh, that's okay, Well, moving on, like I don't care, you know. And and Andrew's like, you just need a car, That's all it is, nicky, you just need a car. And I go, I have one. My mom gave me her Lexus. It runs fine. We're in it right now. It smells like coffee because I dumped to a huge Venti coffee in my lap as we were going to the dealership. That was another story. I've I have been foiled. I have dumped three Venti latte's over the past three days, no two, and then one other one. I didn't get to drink it. I've been God or whatever. And I do believe in like a higher power something has been sending me a sign that I shouldn't have a second latte every day for the best three days. First day, I knocked it over all over a rug, all over a whole Venti one, all over this rug in my living room while I'm on a meeting on Zoom and um, and I just go, I laughed. I go, I guess I wasn't an to have that. And I was like, I'm gonna learn something from cleaning this rug like all did not bother me at all, even though it was you know, seven dollars and I really wanted it. Then the day after I went and got two lattes because the one next door next door to me um didn't have almond milks. I had to drive across town, not across town, but a couple of miles to another Starbucks to get the almond milk latte I got too because I go, you know, but you might want one later. Who knows got to grabbed the wrong one. It was a white mocha. And then so I only got one that day, so another drink taken from me. Then yesterday got my second latte, carried it to the car, spilled it all over my lap. Why three days in a row does the world not want me to have two lattetes? I don't know, but I'll tell you I wouldn't got a third yesterday so I did have that second Lotte, didn't spill it, held it very steadily back to my place. My point is I don't need nice things. I'm going to ruin them anyway. Andrew said I need to have a night, you need to have a car, And I go, Why do I need a test sla so I can Where am I going in St. Louis Today? I have to go to my orthodonist so I can pick up some trays to straighten the teeth, a tooth that I've been trying to straighten since October two thousand sixteen in Visiline. Can't seem to get it right. Then I have to go over to my mom's house. Then I have to go. I have nowhere to go. I have to look am I If I was going to fucking you know Ki every night in Los Angeles? Maybe I want a shiny new light to white tesla. But in St. Louis, where my life is pretty empty, I don't need to look cool rolling up to my sister's house in a tesla. Oh I gotta go over and see Poppy and Harlow and my news. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. I just need to get my mom's junkie. Lexus is fine because I'm a little bit depressed and I don't think I deserve nice things. Let's get Andrew in here. Morning. Andrew, I didn't appreciate you saying coming. Baby said sugar, which to sugar? But you said baby and then you said sugar on top of that sugar, I forgot we did that old thing already. Yeah, dude, how do you just sleep last night? I slept, good man? What do we do last night? Before we went to bed? I'm trying to think, Like you looked out the window and I was just on the couch being sad, waiting for you to ask me about my love life so I could update you. But you never did, and you just didn't tell me. Why are you waiting? You know, because like I don't. I don't want you to go. I don't, I don't, there aren't. I'm just sad. I was just sad last I don't wanted to talk about it. But the thing is, I could tell you, but I just don't want to Men boyfriends, men that are friends, even though Andrew is great at it, Noah, as you know, he is very good at being friends with girls. You always have, right, Yeah, I don't know why but I have. I really don't know, like why, Like it's in high school saying they called me ace. I had like four girlfriends that were like really close. Where no idea missing? I think they're all married or yeah they're all married with kids. Yeah they're done from their own lives. No, I'm just kidding. I'm sure they have fulfilling lives. Some of them, probably half of them, are miserable to One of them left my buddy who that's what inspired him to do stand up because she left him for a guy with a bigger penis. Yeah, apparently your biggest fear. Yeah, I think that's you made that up in your head. Maybe I didn't know. It really is a true story. The guy apparently has a huge cock. I don't know how I found that out, probably through some kind of research. If that happened to you. Yeah, I mean that is the most devastating. I mean, any guy that a girl would leave me for. No, Andrew, Yours is probably average from what we've determined. Okay, but that is your biggest name here. But the thing is, a woman does not leave a man because he has a bigger penis. It's like has nothing to do. It doesn't hurt. I mean it good. I mean, it's just that you haven't compared penises of like your boyfriends, like your new boyfriend. You you didn't go, oh, penis was bigger than the last guy. I mean maybe that it went in my head. But the thing is I just said it before. I just don't need it. As long as there's toys, I just don't need like a huge it's I guess it would be nice, but a huge. I mean, this conversation has had a million different ways or a million different podcasts, but like some women are sized queens, but I just I that to me would not. I don't want a guy who's insecure about it. That's the thing I don't want. I don't want a guy who's insecure about I've been saying you you are your girlfriends okay, you go back to your love life. Wait, so to talk about it. So let's just say, let's re revisit the last night. I'm looking out the window. Then I look at you. I go, hey, Nick, what's going on with with you and your love life? What would you have said last night? Sad? Okay? And then what I really miss that person? And it's bubbling up again And it wasn't that way before. But I think it's a symptom of my period about to start, and just like longing for um, someone to get me pregnant or whatever, my body's making me feel feelings that I didn't feel a couple of days ago, just like really sad yesterday, really in my feelings. As Drake would say, Okay, so when you get in your feelings, what are your thoughts like? Are they really sad? Like dark thoughts? Are they know? They're just like a longing of looking at your phone and trying to will it to be the UM number of the person in or that the the name of the person, or like just you know, well you're going to l a tomorrow, does it? It probably starts to rekindle when you know you're gonna be within a certain amount of distance to that person. I don't think that's even factoring in because I don't. That's the weird part about this. I have no desire to like put it out into the world so that this person might know I'm nearby, even though that's what I'm doing right now. I hope anyone that I'm romantically involved with please, or have been in the past, please, or would consider me a sexual partner in the future. I'm talking to you right now. Stop listening to this. I'm not kidding you. I don't want you listening to this. You know who you are, but you know, reach out if you'd like relationships, if you'd like to pursue a relationship, because there's no way I'm just jumping into one. But if you would like to pursue one, I'm standing by. All operators are standing, everyone on deck wait. And so here's the thing. I think. If you are in the Nikki and you think that she'd be into you, listen to the first ten minutes of when I Come on, and if we start saying, hey, maybe she might want to date. That's the only part of the podcast you should listen to. Don't listen to the whole podcast. If someone wants to date me and has never met me, keep listening. I don't really give a ship. You probably don't really have a chance because you'll tell me you listen to podcast, and then I'll feel too seen and I'll want to run away. So just lie to me if we end up dating that you haven't heard the podcast, or reveal it later when I'm already like emotionally invested and I can be like, that's so cute you listened. I didn't know, But don't actually, don't lie to me. Just lie by a mission, because I'm never going to ask you do you listen to my podcast. I'm never gonna put that phrase. I'm not never gonna say that on a date. So if you're a guy that I end up dating, UM, don't lie to me ever, please, But um, yeah, I just St. Louis. I heard the very last part where it's like, why have a Tesla if I'm in St. Louis? Yeah, well you would have the tesla for you. But why I'm inside it? Why? Uh? The inside of tesla's aren't even that cool there? It's fast? Where am I going? You know? You need for speak? Do you need a three am drag race on King's Highway that I hear outside my window for no reason? Because I had in this light because I my dad didn't love me enough, love me too much, and he showed me all the insides of a car engine, like but then he left, doesn't know any he couldn't even point out. But your dad would get talked to by a dealer at a dealership quicker than a woman who knew who, Quicker than you know that one girl who did go daddy commercials, Danica, Like, I just love how men a dealerships just like talk to you and then they look at me like, oh when we got a you know you could put some kids seats in the back, and there's a little mirror for your makeup. Ma'am from Yes, I didn't like the guy today. I was really annoyed by him. Andrew was really helpful yesterday. He was like, let's just go the dealership. Let's do it. We got in the car. It was I spilled a coffee on myself. I mean that was hilarious. That was Yeah, the entire coffee. It should be in black and white and that music should play. You keep you dropped it on yourself twice or the second time you knocked it into my lap. The rest of the time, I wasn't annoyed. I just it was hilarious. We were laughing so hard that when I spilled my coffee, a Venti coffee, half of it, the Grande dropped into my lap. I survived that, maybe a fourth of it survived. Then I put the fourth of it a couple er and as we're pulling out, Andrew knocks that into my lap two and we are laughing. I mean, it was really funny. That's the joy of like accepting life as it is and being like instead of going like my just being like this is so funny. But here's the thing, if you had a brand new Tesla, would it change your personality if you dropped a full coffee on your brand new You know, I feel so upset that I spent because I think about, let's say I was going to get a used has I think about I am so cheap when it comes to other things, like when I think about clothes and I have you ever spend a thousand dollars on clothes? How much clothes you can get? Have you ever just gone in a spree in a nice place or whatever, but you feel like, Wow, a thousand dollars, that's the most I ever want to spend on clothes. Imagine spending that fifty one times in one day on clothes I could have share horrowitz is wardrobe and clueless. I always think about what you could get for that money, and I'm just like, is spending the extra twenty dollars versus a new prius going to make me any happier? No, It's just gonna make me think about the twenty dollars that I could have spent on like or like, you know, look, I'm pro pri You know me is look I love the prius. I have a Corolla. I obviously don't need the need for you know, but I also don't have the option of being able to buy the I get that, but I'm just saying the Priest is a great car. It's a great car for you. I just why not just drive my mom or drive that you're looking at it. I don't think you need to buy a new car. You buy your mom a new used car. You did it. That's the dream, is buying your mom a car. So she's happy. Yeah, she's very very happy. Um. I mean, I was unbelievable. I'm so glad that I got to experience what it's like to be successful to help a parent. I mean, look, I bought my mom, uh, you know, a hug. The thing is giving gifts is very self serving for me. I like it. It's like, because my mom was like, are you did you regret your purchase? She keeps swelling up with me, and I go, Mom, it's the only thing I won't regret. Like if I bought it for myself, i'd regret it. Like I don't like spending that stuff on myself, but other people. I love spending money on other people. But do you regret um? Is it annoying for her to go. Do you regret that car or do you get that same feeling of hate that stop it? Because I'm only bought you this car so that you would feel good about yourself, because you don't like yourself so much that I felt like maybe it might make you feel like you're worthy and like just drive around in it and like know that you deserve it, and like this is the car you should be in. You shouldn't be in gelopes. You should treat yourself to nice things. Stop if this brings you. I literally go if this makes you and dad fight about anything, because she goes, your Dad and I will share this car and I don't know you won't is your car because I don't want any fights happening from this car. Of like Julie, you never clean the car. I go if Dad's I don't care. If you drive this car and you never get an oil change, it's disgusting. You hoard a bunch of trash in it, and it becomes you know, total based on your lack of care for it. Within a year. You can do whatever the funk you want with it, and Dad can't say ship. You can really run this car into the ground in a couple of months, and I won't care because it's your us to ruin. It is not something that like because I feel like so many things in our lives, or at least in my family's life, it's like, well, we got you this nice thing. You know, you ruined it. You can't have nice things. It's like, well, it's mine to ruin, bitch, it's mine. Recently, someone had a great quote of like, oh, someone had a great quote that I think about a lot, and I just read this other day. They said it was like a tweet that said when I give money to homeless people, I don't care how they spend it because it's not my money anymore. And it's like, oh, that's a cool thing to say. Of like, I'm not going to give money to this because they are just going to spend it on this. It's like either give it a don't, but you don't get to say what they spend it on. It's a funny tweet. Or the guy they're like, he gave money to a homeless person, and the guys like, you're just gonna get that to homeless He's just gonna pay for for drugs with that money. Guys like, yeah, what do you think I was gonna buy? Yeah, it was a very very on the Family Circus in the comics section and teen that joke. Hey, it's new to me. My god, that's been at every open mic. I love that. You're like this guy the other night said, uh, take my wife please. It was so good. Came home the other day my wife is blowing another guy. I'm like, hey, man, what's going on? Understand? Why take my wife please? Is like this classic joke that everyone says. I guess you don't know what that is. You know, it's in reference to Chucky Greeny. It's just a famous joke of take my wife please. What will you explain that joke to me? Please? I mean, I would assume that he is annoyed with his A lot of guys are annoyed with because a lot of guys are annoyed with their wife, and and he can't say leave, get out of here. He has to tell someone else to take her. That's why you think that jokes funny. I'm just saying that's probably where the funny comes from. I'm not saying that, do you know why that joke is funny? Because it's confusing and I don't understand why people always cited as like a class Well, I know why it's funny. You know what, what can you explain to me? Yes, you're wrong. You really think take my wife please is funny because a guy is telling people to take his wife. Yeah, take my way and get it out of here. The please is the punch line. By the way, do you know that? Yeah, we'll explain it. Why please would be the punch line? Take my wife is not funny? Right? Or is it? For me? Well, you're not understanding the joke, then, no, what can you explain the joke? I think it's just like a play on men's fantasy of wanting to remove their wives from their lives. Okay, that's what I said. It's not well, the joke is not that. The joke is actually a play on the colloquialisms. So when you're on when so take, for example, take my guitar? Okay, right, sure, what does that mean when I say take my guitar? What does that mean? No? No, what does it mean? Actually, when the way I just presented it, take my guitar? It feels like I'm sick of I don't want to play anymore. Wait, a minute, I thank you. Noah, if I in conversation, she got it, she got it, but maybe the listener got it. And by the way, listener, if you don't get this, I'm not saying you're stupid. I don't think Andrew stupid. It's this is why I'm so confounded. Why take my wife please? Has become this like cultural You've heard that before, right, take my wife please. Maybe you've never heard anyone that I have it, but I think I get the joke now. But take my wife please. If you just google it it, I mean, it's the most you'll hear it everywhere. So if I say if I go take my guitar, I mean, what does that mean for me? I think you're done playing the guitar. You don't want the guitar. And you're like, okay, no, that's not it, No it can you? Can you? Okay, try to explain it. I'm going to have sex with your guitar. No wait, okay, okay, So let me funny because I think I know what it means. But it's so funny to me if I think I'm blowing the lid open on something that everyone doesn't know what, Take my wife please, is actually a joke about. Can I call my dad to see if he knows? Go for it? I really want to see if my dad knows. I think there's a lot of confused people at home. I don't think hold on, I just want to google. Will you google Take my Wife? Please? Just see really quick and just see see make sure that it's a well known thing, because I think some people are being like I've never heard of that before. But it's a very well known joke that is quoted by Shecky Green and is often you know, you know, referenced in jokes. Okay, And I'm just gonna call my dad really quick and see if he understands it, because maybe I'm wrong. It was young young men, okay, the same dad, I know. Try my dad one more time. He's break fishing. Hey dad, Um, why did you hang up on me before I thought I was calling you? My mistake. I grabbed my phone and started ringing. Got it, Um, I have a quick question, man. We're doing the podcast, and um, I just referenced the joke Take my Wife please? You know that joke? Who who said the joke? You are right? You're right, I said, Shucky Green? Was that a bad guess, thank you Dad? Both in the same genre, right in generation. Okay, So Dad, really quick, I need to just ask you, Will you explain to us why take my wife please is funny? Um? The first time you ever did? I heard of him on the Birth Griffin Show and he was he was old then, and uh it's just like you know, he's done with his wife. He wants you to take her. I know, but Dad, why is it? Hold on, Dad? Why is it funny though to say take my wife please? Pleases the punchline? Right, because take my wife is not funny? Right? Yeah, if you're talking about you know, I'm gonna tell you about, you know, something about my wife's makeup. Take my wife, for instance, Take my wife. It's it's it's a colloquialism. We go take like take my roommate, Andrew, Like you're giving an example, like he's right, Dad, Like if I was talking about Um, I've had a lot of roommates in my life and some of them have been great, and some of them have been speaking Andrew Colin, please and then please? Is the joke? Take is just take my wife does not mean the first part does We are supposed to as an audience. I think, I mean, I think if I had context, though, I think me and no would have got that's the point. That's the point I'm making, is that that joke is stupid, and why is it so well known because there is no context for it. People do not know what the funk that guy is talking about, and that joke is used as like this example of jokes, when no one actually walking the streets hearing that joke reference actually knows what it means. Yes, they do, My dad, I just sat here with Noah and she didn't give us and we should have heard a whole bit. But it's never referenced as a bit. It's always referenced as take my wife please. There's never anything preceding it. And that is the problem I have with it as a comedian. And if you take your past, okay, well we're taking it off the air from you. But thank you, Dad for explaining the joke that I have been hoping I wasn't crazy and thinking that was what is bad. We got to get to the news comedy Shelly, Shelly what was like? Wait wait, now I've got to confuse Ky Green and Shelly Burman and Henry and h the lineup at the Cat's goes Eddie young Men and David Finkelsteinach, what was the noise that no one may know? I can't even recreate it soon? M wait, do it again? No? Wait, hold on, I can't. You have to do the original one. Yeah, I thought that was the original. Okay, sorry, sorry, I thought you might have a cute up. Let's get to the news that I do have cute up. So do the people get it? Though? I don't know if the people understand. If they don't, it's like, you know, it's a lost cause. But it just annoys me that that's a joke that everyone's supposed to understand. We'll take it from me. Please you head it here first, please first? Please? Oh boy, got you know. Look, it's Tuesday. Tuesday doesn't get enough credit. It's like when you're turned twenty seven, no one cares anymore because nothing happens. I'm turning thirty seven on Tuesday. Talk about an age. People just want you to die. Okay, So I hope you're having a great time out there. And all the funds I mean, I mean all this Oh oh boy, my brain going take my co host please out pack and shoot him. Hey, look you now, it's your car, Mom, drive off the cliff if you want. Yeah, plug the exhaust with an old rag and start the car and hang out in the garage. Oh wait, it's not gonna kill you because it's a fucking preus. Wait would it just kill you slower? Would it kill you? More? About a guy who wants to end it all. He's like, it's in three weeks, he's a starvation. This thing ain't working. I think it would still kill you. I think I don't know. I don't know if you know out there, take my car. It's like trying to put your head in the easy bake oven. I used to have a joke as a child, like I was a depressed child, I used to stick my head in the easy big oven. A mind, that's difficulty on that is about a two point three genius? All right, roller coaster? Alright, So here's the first headline. There are seven money personality types. Which one are you? Are you a compulsive saver? Whoa Noah, you always pick such good? Are you a compulsive spender? Are you the compulsive money maker? The indifferent to money, the saver, splurger, the gambler, the worrior? It feels like a like a rag bag of fun people. I am. I am the saver Splurger, So okay, the saver Splurgers shared combination of trade between the savers and spenders. It's smart with money for a certain amount of time, but may then give in to spending impulses out of nowhere. Yeah. When I when my a d h D meds kick in, many good things happened in my life because I have a D d UM. But one of them is I want to buy things? And you wanna go with me to Lulu Lemon yesterday? Because I couldn't go in there because I knew that my meds were peaking and I wanted and I was about to sign up for a class online with Ryan Tedder to learn how to songwriting. I was about to drop three sixty six on a class. I wouldn't. I didn't end up the diner. You'd go right now because you you were. We were sitting there in our phones and you go, I'm gonna go to Lulu, and I go, I don't want to go there because I'm gonna spend money. And I have a friend that works there that's offering to get sent because I just haven't I haven't ever felt compuls compelled to like go make a list of things, even though that is so nice. And I appreciate anyone offering me free stuff unless it has CBD, and it please, no more offering me anything CBD. I don't want cbe. So many people try to DM me. I got a new CBD lotion, a new CBD I've dropped a new CBD T shirt. It's like, stop putting CBD in things. Well, you like weed, you don't like CBD. I'm I'm about CBD, but I also don't give me your weed stuff. I have enough now to lask me to that story. I mean, not yet, we will that. I alluded to it yesterday when it was wild. We had a visitor. Yesterday was so fun, we had company over. It was really good. But okay, So that's the way I am. I'm I'm I'm someone who we could say something about him without worry about money. And then I, let's say on this top, but maybe in final thought, I worry about money. Sometimes I'm like, I don't have enough. Oh my god, it's been spending too much. I don't even know how much I have. And then there are other times where I'm like, get this ship away from me. I'm so rich. I am a single woman. I don't have any overhead, I don't have kids. Let me spend it like crazy, like yesterday when I didn't want to get you your coffee, a coffee for you, that was me being like, I just bought my MoMA car. I buy everyone everything. I can't keep doing this. I'm going to be blood dry. And then then I tightened up because I'm just like, but it's all based on anxiety, has nothing to do with like actually feeling financially insecure. And then there are times where I'm just like I can buy and free one every like it's it's very impulsive. Which one are you? Um? I would say I'm probably similar to you. I'm probably a saver splurger. I think I used to be uh close to a compulsive spender slash gambler if you will. But then you become when you spend a lot of money. It's interesting if you spend a lot of if you don't have money coming in, you become a warrior after where I mean, it's nothing Saturday. When you spend all your money and you realize don't no more money, it's coming. Do you think a compulsive spender or a gambler can marry a saver and they could have a good relationship. Where do you got to get these things under control? I'm grateful that I'm I'm the one that's both. You know, I have both extremes, which isn't great. But I think that if I was to be in a relationship with someone I was recently talking about being a relationship and how my ideal relationship I was telling my parents is to have like a husband who doesn't work and just can hang out with me and you know, take my money and invested in things that because I don't know how to invest, and like have a man spend my money in ways that will make us money, or to support a man like I would a wife, like a man would support his wife in the nineteen fifties or the two thousand twenties. You just don't think that you would be turned off by that guy. No, not as long as he like fucked me all the time and like hugged me a lot and made sure our postmates were ordered, and was made sure the house looked nice. But that doesn't mean he has to clean. Just make sure the maid gets in pay the maid handle ship that I don't want to handle. I need a no, explain to me what you mean. So I don't know women being like, yeah, I couldn't date a guide that makes money to me because I would end up losing respect for him, Like even if I wanted to love him eventually, if I keep buying dinners, I can't see him as a quote unquote man. Yeah, listen, I can't predict what I would feel, but I do feel that, um, as long as someone was contributing to my happiness in a way that was like, you know, I feel like my mom didn't work growing up. My dad earned all the money until she started working a little bit, you know after we you know, in the last five years. Never earned maybe here and there, earned a little bit of money doing stuff, but like never contributed to the family financially, uh, in any way that was like, you know, like in a big way, right, And my dad had never held it over her head, never resented her. Why is it? I guess it's a female male energy. My mom cleaned the house, my mom cooked in er my mom, you know, got the kids dressed for school. My mom contributed in her own way. That was enough to justify my dad working all day and making the money. I get that, but okay, let's say let's say you you marry a guy. Right, he's not bringing the money to the table. He's there for all those things. Okay, now it's his feet and like dig out his warts. Sure, but it's been three weeks and he goes, you know what, I'm just tired of not tired of sucking you. But I just I'm not feeling warny these days. I know it's been three weeks, maybe a month and a half. You start thinking, yeah, but I just I'm paying your Mercedes payments and you're not sucking me like I think the resentment would build if it's too much relationship, and then you deal with I mean, like every relationship, the things change and people's you know, maybe go through depression where they're not feeling like cleaning the house when that's their responsibility, or maybe they don't have a high sex drive, which you count on, and that's when you go, um, babe, I've been working really hard recently, and one of the things I love about you most is when I get home, you make me feel so loved, and that is like your value, like pretty I wouldn't say this, but I'd be like, I've recently noticed that the things that I love so much about you, I'm not getting in this relationship anymore. And I just want to check in with you and see that you're feeling good and and and wondering, like, are these things that you want to you want to return to the things that once made me fall in love with you? Or are you? Is this like a new you something going on? And and I think that but I do think, I truly believe, and I can't predict what I would want, but if I'm set to be pretty successful, things are going well in my career if they keep on this trajectory, I do I don't need a man working. It would be nice because I'd like to be to like survive the apocalypse and be, you know, in a bunker someday that one that I couldn't even afford with a celebrities. So I need to tech the tech money or you know, your other your brother's kind of money. Maybe he'll get home, but she'll probably are you bringing up to her in like a cat. Well, I do think that I'm glad that you started that conversation because I don't want to have to do it. It's just like so awkward, even though I do love like saying the hard things to say, but yeah, I would just say listen, I um, yeah, I don't like my friends to work. I want my friends to be able to hang because I am I'm someone who in my life for a partner. I don't need a guy unless he is available. That is what I'm looking for, his partnership and companionship. And I don't want to I'm a workaholic. I don't want one. I get it. I just and if he had some little shitty job that like didn't actually require that much work, I'm like, why are you doing this? I get like, if you want to work at a wood shop and sell things on Etsy, that's fine if it doesn't take like so much time. But if he really cares about it's passionate work, does that though, there's pressure on that guy that if you got tired of him, right and you also had a pre nup and you go, hey, well, that's why he has to earn it. That's why he has to earn like pressure on someone which will maybe make that maybe it would put pressure on him if I may if I didn't have a job and I married him, and they would would I be on try to do him? If he lost a job, Probably I would say go get a new job, just like I would do a guy. Go get a find a new massage technique that you want to try out on me, because I'm bored of this one. You get your f flarage is really he just needs a passion, He needs a paassion whatever outside of you. Yeah, that's why I always say, like, if I end up with a guy, I don't mind. I'm not just saying just a guy that married a woman needs passion outside of her husband, because if you rely too much on some right, you don't want to just like wait wait for me to get home and like dote on me. I'm just saying I wouldn't mind a guy to make I don't like cleaning. I don't like managing. I don't like managing a house, and that to me is like a really hard job to do, to manage the entire house. It's not something that comes easy to me. And I want a man that takes pride in that and likes designing, like picking up furniture, like putting together Like I don't have those things as a woman that knows what asconce is that like just makes our life comfortable. I just think I think it's just the way you would probably want a wife to do those things. I would want. Yeah, but if my wife is independent and it's passionate about her job, I wouldn't want her to have to worry about cleaning and stuff. If we had enough money, i'd have a maid. She wouldn't even think about stuff, right, But I want the man to organize the maid, to pay the maid. I don't want a man to clean if I have money enough for a maid, unless he likes cleaning. Next story, all right, all right, next story, that was smooth that I did. Charlie bit my finger. We all remember that he's turning into an n f T. I told you this last night. I'm so sad because I was looking for Sophia Grace and that little girl that goes this one with the little she does the Nicki minaj rap on Ellen. I looked for that original video. It's nowhere to be found on YouTube. You can't watch Sophia Grace and that little blonde girl who's not as cute but you know, well actually is cuter. But the one that's like standing behind her and singing. Do you know what I'm talking about? I know exactly what you're talking I remember is the brunette girl and the blonde girl. They're so cute. Now they're like, you know, teenagers who are just a little bit like embarrassed that they were might I don't actually know that, but anyway, you can't find it, and I got so sad yesterday Charlie put my Finger, which is my favorite YouTube video of all time, is not going to be online anymore unless you buy an n f T of it. Well you know how much it's told. I don't know if you can. Can you buy a copy? Potentially? Potentially? I guess, uh some random three F music and Charlie Charlie n f T. Are you in the mood for me to do a rendition of Charlie but my favor would love it? Charlie wait, oh ah, oh, Charley, Charley, Cholly, Charlie pit me, Charlie. That hurt Charlie pit me and it hurts and it's still hurting. And then Charlie goes and then falls into the I thought he bites him again. Oh oh oh, he liked It's like in the tally meets, and then then he goes Cholly. I just love most American kids would be like fucking Charlie and hit Charlie like a little kid. But he just goes Cholly and he like wipes it on his shirt. He goes Charlie pit me and then he the way he laughs is so cute, Like, do you think they're gonna get any of his money or the parents just gonna get it? Oh, the kids don't get it. Charley took my three eighty thousand. Oh Charlie, who should get the money? I think Charlie is the star of that. Actually, the boy who doesn't hit Charlie is the star of it. I don't know Charlie's little teeth going to work. I think they're actually going All the money is going to Charlie's brother for the finger surgery he had to have after Charlie bit his singer off. Well, it's it's sold for seven hundred sixty thousand dollars. It started at nine. I love when people do this, by the way, all the time, they're like, we could sell your house for three million or two million, and they're like, oh, we'll get so much more. Hit this Tesla. Oh you mean five zero zero zero zero. You know that I've read all these books about the psychology of persuasion that I mean, they do it because it works. Something that's people just go, that's cheaper than ten dollars, and they sell way more because people are stupid. Next, people are splurgeers. The other thing, too, is like these n f t s, right, they take it off YouTube. The whole value of it is the fact that it has a billion views, Like you want to be able to show people that in seed. If you just have a video of some kid getting his finger bit without all the context things, you can please you know what I mean, you can license it down and make so much money because if you put Charlie bit my finger in a super Bowl commercial that's talking about like family values to like state farm, you make that money back a lot more. So now they think it's still valuable if people aren't going like it's like okay, you can't my house okay, and I go I have people over, which is often I go, let's pull up YouTube and just like show each other fun clips that have made us laugh, and I pull up the actually kid yeah, apparently apparently, uh well, apparently the news was on, and apparently I don't get to watch the news because apparently my grandpa is Apparently there's this kid that's apparently kids. Apparently I wasn't there, and then I went down there and apparently he's so sweet. I love how he says news too. He says news my grandmother wants one of the cutest things. So I pull up those coups all the time. What if you came over I'm having a party and I go, you guys want to see Charlie put my finger and you go, Actually they pulled it from YouTube. They don't have any more. I go, what if I told you last week at Christie's I spent six seven sixty dollars for this And I pull out, I pull up a file. I go, you could have got fourteen teslas. You can just screen recorded this in April two thousand twenty one. But you did it. Let's get to why do I care? That's the other Yeah, you could just screen record as soon as everyone scord. Well you can't now it's gone, But any other one get those now because they go in they going fast. Screen record is maybe the best thing that's happened Charlie my finger, Charlie. Charlie is probably old enough for you to make that joke now, but be careful. At first held Charlie put my finger. Bob Castrone showed it to me in one of he was my head writer. I'm not safe, one of my good friends. He should have me in two thousand eight. Yeah, first time I saw Charlie, but I remember where I was at the kitchen and I go, this is blowing my mind, how cute this is? And I probably watched it two times that in that dance Revolution guy, I mean I never watched that either or Chocolate Ran. I never really got into that one. I well, I tried to start viral videos. Is what made you? Obviously it's content. So when I was telling you about you hot dot com last night, I don't know if you want me to tell this story. We have a lot of final thought. Andrew was an epic story to tell us at some point that I don't know, or at least he told me a million times before and I forgot. But last night he was starting to tell me, and he go, I go save it for the pod equals asked me about my love life or nothing else? Sad Okay, why do I care what's going on celebrity news? Why do I care? All Right, we're going back to folks. Ben Affleck appears to wear a watch that j Lo gifted him ready for this in two thousands, which is a long time ago, which is before Finger two thousand two. Now, this goes back to when they were on the set of not Jeelie but what was the block? The music video he was in that There was a great scene where he's in that music video and he um, like rubs her ass. They're doing like a paparazzi shot on the boat and that song was so good. And now he's wearing it again apparently though apparently so apparently when I watched the news, Um, Ben Affleck also had been spotted wearing this, uh, probably a few years back, like he's worn it over the years, but is staying I wonder Jennifer Garn Garn knew that that was like where did you get that? He had a fashion egg every few years and he knew jo was watch watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. Girl. You know it's true when he means that watch for you if you were eating a girl and there was a piece of Jelry that she just loved because it was like fucking cool, and you found out it was gifted to her by Jennifer Lopez on the set of Jennifer. I'm just kidding that was yeah, And it would be tough. I'm not gonna lie. I think it would be tough. I go, well, why don't I buy you something very similar and you wear that? Really? I mean it would be tough. Yeah, there's sentimental value there every time you put that necklace. If I think that huge cock inside, what if someone bought me an n F T F Charlie put my finger and then you can't buy another n F T. Are you gonna be like, well, I got you know the Star Wars guy who falls on the ground. Isn't there something you put on a hoodie of some guy your ex boyfriend, and it's like it's way too big on you. So obviously he was a real big strong man like I would. It would hurt Cozy, my big old boy. And there's all this room at the bottom where his dick was like a bunch of there's a dick pouch that was so big, and baby would wear your sweatshirts. But I like all this dick room in it from my hands because sometimes her hands get cold. Because I'm a skinny girl. That's cool. I like it to dig pouts. Would you respect me and love me more? Would you go you're pathetic to argue about the people? Now you know what girls do when they when a guy it doesn't get jealous over something that they think they get jealous of. They get pissed. Yeah, and not me, though, I would be like, thank God, I have a guy who's secure enough to not fucking care about the sweatshirt that I don't like because it smells like my ex even though I won't wash it and I keep it in a plastic bag when I'm not wearing it, and I inhale deeply into it when I think my boyfriend's sleeping next to me and cry and look at the moon that he might be looking at too, somewhere where he is even though he's dead. But you just believe that he can see the moon from her um. But yeah, I would just be like, thank god a guy, This guy is secure enough that he doesn't isn't threatened by their mind, because I can't have that in a relationship where a man feels I've I've had that before. Let me ask you this. Let me put a just a hypothetical out there. You're dating a girl for a while and her ex boyfriend dies and she is so upset about it. Are you a little bit gel m hmm a little heroin? God? That's cool, you know, m hm um. It depends how she's crying, like and uh just you know, really really sad because someone this was something she used to love. I would I would like to think that let's not do what we would like. I know, I honestly thought. It depends. I mean, if the guy's you know, the guy's funnier to me, is he better to I mean he's Yeah, he was a very accomplished comedy writer and had a very successful career in comedy. I mean, I definitely want to mention it to her. But I'm sure behind closed doors, when I was showering, I'd be like, what then, okay, whatever, Like, no, I don't know, I don't have to worry about him. There'd be a little bit of that probably like oh sweet, now he's unless she did okay, interesting but just funny. That's an interesting question to present. Yeah, I think, Yeah, I think a lot of people be like, no, I wouldn't be jealous at all. I wouldn't be said at all. But I think it depends how you're crying. If you're like, oh my god, I'll never remember your next boyfriend was like god, you know it was. How would you feel well if if I was not if if if your if your boyfriend's ex girlfriend died, if if I felt his tears were about the fact that he couldn't be with her someday, or like it was like I would, I would honestly let him have his feelings about it, and I would try to keep my feelings out of it. I probably would feel like would he beat the upset if? I would probably compare myself, but I would try to understand. Here's the thing that he's probably going through feelings because he lost someone he knew, and death is sad. If you cried, I'd give you six months after the funeral. But if you're still crying a long time I went a little high, I'll give you six minutes. I'll give you six minutes before the funeral. But I just remember an ex boyfriend saying that, man, um if if my ex girlfriend's mom ever dies, I'm just gonna really have to probably go to her funeral, And I go, No, you're not gonna go be there for your ex girlfriend because her mom. No, that's not gonna happen. Really, you don't talk to this girl anymore, you haven't talked to her for years. Why suddenly would you show up at her mom's funeral as the hero? Yeah? Now, I understand if they're still friends and he still talks, you know, has her in his life, but like to go rescue this girl from her sadness and be this like boyfriend character because you no, no, no, you're not going either. You're going and we're going to talk about it. But like that to me was like I hope this woman dies so I can show you you ain't going. You ain't going. You can send flowers, but you're not going to like go hold her. And then like talk to her sister and realize, oh my god, I kind of like this girl's sister more than I like Nikki's sister, and I get along with his family so much more. And then if you just get sucked back into it, and it's not about me losing him, because if you want to go be with someone, go be with someone with you you know like I'm not. I'm not going to keep you from it, but if you have, if you want to go, that to me is like you're not over this and you can't like move on dot org, but donate now now and then in some some of you though, is like, hey, I'm not even thinking about myself in this situation. It's about the mom dying. It is so just like no, it's about him wanting to go rescue her, and like I need to be there for her. And it's like, she's got family, she's been two years, you haven't talked to her, She's dealt with a slew of traumatic issues. You can let her alone for the mom's death. By the way, you probably didn't like the mom that much, because who likes their girlfriend's mom that much. Let's get to redd it dump. So last night I was on Reddit. I saved a lot of things, including a like a porn thing that I really liked that I wanted to come back to. So I'm not going to share that. But um, you said you were going to bring up something that we could have talked about, maybe the whole pot. What do you mean yesterday? Really on reddit dump? No, just in general, I think well, that's not the time for it then, because this is a segment you know that has like a purpose. Yeah yeah, so we only we only have a couple of minutes for this. Okay, this was the one that fucking got me. Dude, So last night on on reddit on the subreddit t I h I what do you think that sands were? Yeah, um, it doesn't matter. Thanks, I hate it. And that's just people posting things of like thanks. That was horrifying. I don't want to see that, like thanks, hate it. So this is a this isn't seriously, no, a you are scared of birds in a way that your phobia is birds, correct, pigeons? Like if you could get pigeons specifically, honestly, know, if any creature could fall into your head? What what's a creature could fall into your head? Any kind of like animal that's head sized or smaller. What's the worst one that could fall in your head? Like, truly considering every pigeon really a pigeon? Over over this this? You you what is that like a huge like a monster centipede. That's a monster centipede. I can't even hold the phone. I can't even look at the picture of it. Honestly, Centipedes are my number one. Okay, so what it is, you guys, is in giant centipede that's I can't even look at it. It's probably a foot long, and it's in Hawaii and they put um us like over a saucepan. They put a clear saucepan lid over the centipede to trap it, and it's just going around and around in a circle. It's on thanks. I hate it. Centipedes are my number one grossest animal. I used to like, can't even look at a picture of one. The fact that I'm able to look at this and not like puke is I mean it is? Those are in Hawaii everywhere. And then I read the comments and people are like those used to fall from the ceiling onto my head. One time I was in bed and it bit me. If this bit me, and if this wasn't my bed, I would move out of my apartment. I'm not joking you. If there's I would move And I did move. In New York City, there was a house centipede in my bed in a storia. I was broke as fuck, and I went to go live with my friend Mike on his couch because I could not sleep anymore because a house centipede. Can a centipede hurt you? I mean they can, they can bite, but it's not lethal. And there are certain ones that are venomous, but these are not like super venomous, I know, So essentially you can't hurt you. And the only thing that they're just too fast. They have too many legs, and they never know where they're going. I want to bug that has like a plan that goes. I want to walk from here to hear. Spiders sometimes go like in a straight line. Centipedes don't know where the funk they're going. They're just everywhere, and they they get squirrely and they have too many legs, and it really creates me out there my number one phobia with two lane highways and also fat men on diving bars. You'd rather have that land on your head in a scorpion. Oh hell yeah, Oh no, scorpion. For sure. You'd rather have a scorpion on your head than one of those. I mean a scorpion is yes, like you hate If I found a centipede that was me before a big show and I'm walking around, that is probably why I hate you so much. With that energy You're a centipede under a clear sauce panlet. That is totally Andrew. You're centipeding me out right now. I'm gonna try to scorpion more this year, I promise you. On this tour, I'm going to be way more chill. No, I believe that. Okay, this is another thing. Um. This is from sad Cringe. This is from sad the subreddit sad sad Cringe. This is Kanye. This is a clip from Keeping Up with the Kardashians, And this is sad cringe because these are things that make you go like oh and then also cringe. This is supposed to be sad because of Kim's non response, But I thought it was just a funny story. It's Kanye on Keeping up with Kardashians, which he didn't appear on that many times. But it's a funny clip of him telling a story about a Make a Wish kid when he met I love about the Kanye thing years when she was dating that tall basketball player. He would be a friend to her. Yeah, it was a good it was a good little romance. Yeah. So okay, so he goes this is just a clip. Let's if we can hear it kid, and he said, has it ever been anyone that you ever wanted to meet? As you got to meet, I was like, the other day I met Tom Cruise and he was like, oh, man, I didn't think to him was that Kim didn't really acknowledge his joke, which is a funny anecdote to tell that he went bet a baker wish kid and was like, who's your maker wish? He goes, well, the other day I met Tom Cruise and the kid goes, oh, that was a good one, like like he's that's so that's funny. It's so funny and it's and it's self deprecating. Yeah, it's a beautiful story. Kim look like she wasn't interested if you listen to the clip, though she does have a good response. The editors made her look like twaty, which I don't understand because the Kardashians reveal review all the footage, they have every control of the final edit, so she might have missed that one. Because Um, let's do one more Reddit thing. Um sorry, um, Taylor, what about as a kid? Dave? Yeah, Zach Morris say, by the Belt, I always dreamed of the cast sad by the Belt yeah, yeah, I mean I'm how dead do you think? How cool do you think you were? I mean it was a really advanced, really serious cans. Um. Okay. So my last thing that I'll share, Um, okay, this one is asked credit. And I found this was an interesting question people because this is this could have been asked by me. People who take an hour showering, what do you do? I would have added what the funk are you doing in there? But this person was more polite. People who take an hour showering? How long do I take to shower? Andrew? And this is not an exaggeration, This is not me just when I'm in a hurry. How long do I take to shower? Um? Four minutes tops tops. That's a long shower for me. Um, how long do you shower? I mean it depends. It depends how sad I am. But I'll go from anywhere from from six minutes to twenty minutes. Okay, Um, that's too long. Here's what people said. Are you mad about the water aspect because your dad gets mad about that, right, Yeah, it's wasting water. And it's just like I get bored. There's no phone if I'm listening to a new song and I'm singing in the shower because there's good echoes. I would you ever go over your stand up in the shower, because that's something I would do. I would literally if it a shower thing came, you know the ones that come with the Yeah, I know about them. They Yeah, I've never really used them. As a vibrator, I hold it like a microphone and I would do my whole act in there. So that's weird that I have a vibrator that looks like a microphone. Yeah, I did my act on that. It stink. Okay, So someone goes, these are the These are the most classic UH answers to this. Someone said, I put the water in my mouth and spray it around the shower. That's insane. Someone else said, thirty minutes at most is my max when my allergies are really bad and I'm trying to steam out my sciences so I can breathe for the rest of the day. Um. People said, so much shaving. Shaving takes me minutes. Um people said, hot water having comebacks come to my brain about fights three years ago. Does that happen to you? No? I mean I will think about future conversations at times sometimes I'll I'll go over like what I will say on podcast in there and someone says, make a bucket on my chest and let it fall once it's full. Booby is not required like making that's why would you do that for an hour? These aren't real answers, and I don't like Yeah, I don't like that, but I do think. I do wonder what people are doing in there. I do one it's just relaxing. Its some massage you could get away from your family and an escape. Maybe you're not even in the shower the whole time. Maybe an escape. Okay, I said escape, It is that too, getting away from your ex. No, I'm trying to speak with better addiction because we have a cancer listener out there who we found that I talked to last night and I realized I could be the last voice people ever hear. Yes, that was really cool. We went you went live on Instagram last night. We talked to a lot of besties who shared the rewards with us. Final thought, Um, we had a couple of things that I wanted to get to, but I do need to get to this one because I promised a listener that we would. UM, so I screened no I sent it to you right hold on once again, Andrew. I got a message from one of our best fees yesterday. UM from Kate who Kate Matthews. But that's not her Instagram name, So just a random Kate Matthews. I'm sure there's many of them, so I'm protecting her randonemity. Um. She wrote me a d M yesterday at PM. Please bully Andrew for dropping sushi at Whole Foods just now. If it wasn't him, please ignore this. Can you explain that because you were at Whole Foods when you were just gotten back from Whole Foods. When I got that and you, I definitely put my hand into a bag that I thought was empty and there was a bunch of sushi in it. So I know you've got sushi at Whole Foods. I know you went to Whole Foods because you grabbed me some boba gaoos. So what happened? Who saw you drop a sushi? How did this happen? The talk to me in person. Tell it to my face, Kate. Don't freaking go around d M and Nikki telling me that you bully me live for dropping the sushi that I probably shouldn't have buck. I didn't even like one of the rolls. I did drop the sushi. What I did because I freaking I grabbed what does the sushi there? Huh, just keep going. I grabbed the Zevia, the box. I tried to grab everything in my hands instead of the little card thing because I forgot to grab the little card at the beginning of the store. Yeah, which whatever, So I was holding everything and then I grabbed the sushi and I put it on top of the sushis. Saw you struggling with this a handful of Zevia, and like so you put so the sushi slid off. The Zvia sushi slid made a loud sound. I go, But I kicked it the sushi, so then it go fully down. So I stopped it with my foot pee style, and it freaking it slid down, and then I go. I looked around the sea. If anyone noticed how embarrassing that was. Apparently Kate saw, and uh, yeah, Kate, you could have fucking picked up the sushi too. By the way, Kate, she looked at it, you know when people look at when I believe I saw Kate she looked at the sushi. She could have picked it up and handed it to me. Now, she picked up her phone and d M me that I should bully you. Well did you buy that sushi? I did buy that sushi? And how wouldn't fall out on the ground like it was all right? You didn't like one role? Yeah, it wasn't. It was a little fishy form my Viking. But don't buy fish. Fish is fishy. That's the gaffgan joke. I love. He's like, you know, he shouldn't be eating fish when one of the worst things that a fish can taste like is fish. When people go, I'm sending this back it's too fishy. Um, you mean you're fish You fucking weirdo. Stop eating meat. Meat isn't supposed to be eating. So by the way, Kate, you could have you could have helped me pick You could have helped me pick it up. She could have helped. She really struggling to get it up. I had about eleven different objects because I did, part I didn't. I did at that point I did because there was a line. No, what was the second thing? You reminded me of? Epic? Oh Andrew's epic story? Oh yeah, well, can you even start it? We'll maybe do a teaser. Well, yeah, no, I honestly just I could make the story very quick. But when I was you know how I lost all that money. So when I was in a bunch of debt, I was like in fifty grand in debt, and I thought, well, why don't I start a website? You know, because you know me, I'm always a very big tech guy. And you had a couple, you had an app idea that you This was before the app idea, so it was called you Hot dot Com. I mean it's like Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah, I'm but he did are you Hot dot Com? It really wasn't that. It wasn't that what he did wasn't that face Hot or Not or not? It was Facebook, So Hot or Not was was what years is. By the way, because I want to Zuckerberg did this in two thousand two. This was after that, So my idea was hot or Not? But what if Hot or Not? Was a website that was video based and it wasn't crazy. It was actually pretty smart where people would go and they would dance or they would show literally how hot they are. That was the whole point, or what their skill was, and then you rate it if it's hot or not. But it's a video, so you had just what I mean, this is not a bad idea, but also it's like I was ahead of the time. That's what you sat down with some guys, some web developer, and you were like, so you just had a business partner. Was something that you think, so it could be a talent. What talent is hot besides just flexing? I mean pretty much, it's just my father was just gonna be girls in bikinis and stuff like that, like TikTok, like what TikTok is? So, and then you can match with each other and then it's like a dating as well as video because you had done this before after you went on a date from it just looks this was this was before. It's right around the same period of time. So mind you so I get this. I have Travis. We each put it like, we buy the domain name, which is you hot dot com? Great? Y o h, it's a great name. It's a great name dot com. It was like incredible to me. So we bought that for like a grand and then I got a web developer. We found him online or whatever. He was like this Indian guy and okay, I well know I'm saying like he was in India, like you know, like and so I would be on the phone with him. I was like, we gotta like I would check the website. Whatever it ended up working, it just ended up being a very shitty YouTube, like that's what it were really were able to have people upload video. So yeah, so I wanted to upload a video to get it go, and like I tried to make a was this before YouTube or after you way after YouTube? It was a very shitty YouTube. That's where it ended up being. So I go, I go, all right, I'm gonna make a video that will go viral, which will then launch it. This whole concept just block. It's so unclear what this is. Yes, no one really knew what it was because I didn't want to just go, you know, it's just about how hot you are. I wanted it to be about pounding at night in this time in your life, like what would you do in during the day is what would you do at night? Like, well, real estate, real estate. I was still doing. So this was my big money ticket to get out of real estate. So so so I end up making a video. This is true. I made a video. This is my big viral video. I was like, I'm gonna make my own viral video, which will let So it was my buddy Travis was filming and all you could hear me singing was Alicia Keys no One. And I was singing it really high. No One. No, you know that song. I mean the fact that I was able to decipher what song you were just how does that song going? In one? No, it takes me away, I'm feel Yeah, So I'm singing that song. So you can hear that song singing. I'm in the garage and I'm in one of those back fake thing where it's like want to catch the guys saying badly, but I'm upside down. I'm upside down on one of those back things. Yeah, and I'm trying to look ripped to know I wasn't that in shape maybe, but I was rubbing peanut butter all I'm going, I'm peanut but a boy. This was so I'm singing that song and then I started going I'm peanut but a boy, and I'm rubbing peanut butter all over my chest, going peanut butter boy likes peanut butter over the No One, No, I love the peanut butter boy. And I thought it would just be this very weird Yeah, weird for sure. And then I can send that out to everyone I know, thinking like, oh, everyone'll kick it off. This is a big opener. Peanut butter boy. It's a peanut butter boy. Uh no one. I mean like like maybe twenty people signed up. So did you abandon you hot? So this is where it gets good. So essentially what happened was we pretty much just gave up on it. We were like, wow, we gave it a Harvard try whatever and uh and uh and you know, peanut butter boy. You know I tried, you know, jelly Man. Just nothing was taken off, you know. And I didn't try jelly man. That's not a bad idea though, but U so for it. So next thing I know, I get an email and this guy's like, hey, I'm a I'm a website broker from me, by you hot, from you. I have a guy that loves to name after you, after you after I launched peanut butter out of your chest hair at this point a month and a half, well my chest was shaved up. Uh month, and that's why people take our showers boom. Yeah, So I go, Okay, I think I'm getting spammed here, like you know, like okay, you're a UK deal or whatever. He goes, yeah, my client wants to pay. What would you sell it for? I was like I was into it, probably like four or five grand at this point. I go, oh, we'll sell it for eight grand whatever, and the guy's like, yeah, we'll do it, and I go, I know, I probably could have got oh my god, at least nine, so I'm probably a tesla so before they came out. So I go, I go, all right, I'll sell it. We sell it, and I swear to God on my life. The next day after I sell it, it is a full on porn site like you porn or porn Hub or red Tube whatever. I could keep going, and I didn't tell anyone that I sold it. So everyone, you are running a porn site because you would all blasted to all your friends Peanut butter Boy exactly facelift for a website. So then all my family and friends are going, oh wow, we could have so seen this bean a porn site. Good job, like wow, you actually do it, you guys, this is what you think of me, Like you think this is where I have more integrity than this. I parody to Alicia Keys video where I pretended to be a guy in his garage having a Kevin Spacey American beauty moment rubbing peanut butter on me. Yeah, which some one would have come in and shot you too. So anyway, so everyone and I was like, no, I actually sold it. I made money on it. I mean, that's a great story. That'll wrap us up for today. Thank you for listening, besties. Thank you for joining Instagram Live last night and sharing your words with us. To those that did that, um, keep Kate fu yeah, Kate, fuck you honest Kate. Now, Kate. If you see me in Whole Foods, do not judge how me seaweed snacks I buy, Listen, I go through fast, okay, and if I drop them, don't dare touch you. Don't help me. I can do it all myself, all right. Thank you guys for listening. We'll see you tomorrow on the show Some Nicky Clears a podcast chairm