The Nikki Glaser Podcast#344 London, Sports Illustrated, A Sultry Voice & Compliments
Nikki, Anya and Chris are having a great time in London. Nikki thought her hope for the future was a woman playing guitar at a bar. She gives her hot take on Martha Stewart embracing the cover of Sports Illustrated. Brian shares his 40 things to accomplish before the age of 40 list. Nikki has been ordered to speak with a sultry voice. Before hitting Europe, Nikki and Chris bumped into Justine Lupe of HBO's Succession at the airport. This sparks a conversation about how to talk to anyone and how to receive compliments.
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The Nicki Gleiser Podcast, Niki Glaser, here's.
Nikki's Hello here I am It's the Nicki Glaizer Podcast. Welcome. Oh my gosh, what an episode we have for you today. I'm so excited in the room with me in London, Arizona. I don't know why I wanted to say episode in London. Yeah, because there's Paris, Texas in London, England. I almost forgot where London was. I'm not even joking here.
I think the London Bridge might be in Arizona, Wyeah.
That's correct. The London Bridge Ryan Frani from the eighteen hundreds is located in Lake Havasou, which is a lake on the border of Arashon. There in the eighteen hundreds the London Bridge was being rebuilt and they auctioned it off to a rich billionaire who lived in Lake Havasu and he brought it piece by piece and it was rebuilt in the nineteen sixties in Lake Havasu. So if you go to Arizona you can drive there in about five hours. From LA you can walk across the actual London Bridge from eighteen hundredth time.
Oh my god, pretty amazing. He knows all that or that you knew that too. Yeah, little Encyclopedia Brown over there, that was so impressive. Brian, Fransie's here, and then I'm I'm in London with Anya Marina and Chris Convey, and then Noah is in Arizona and we got to London today. By the way, I'm trying to speak like this more because if I speak sultry or it protects my voice. And that's what my voice teacher taught me yesterday is that I just need to lean into being more sultry.
It's not going to protect this relationship.
Yeah, well, I mean, you guys are going to be throwing their dicks. And I was down the street talking like this, Excuse me, sir, where is the preta mange?
Oh?
Wait, block here there's a preta mage everywhere here them Brian.
No, In fact, they have a bad memory with the Pretamanja because they sell these sandwiches and they have all their sandwiches aren't like a long piece of French bread. And I remember one time I was taking a class at UCB and I would bring a long, uh preta man sandwich.
Every'd eat it throughout the whole class, bite like.
Sort of But what I didn't realize is that secretly the rest of the class was judging me, because about five weeks into the class, I was eating it and then somebody, uh and then somebody, and I said, oh, is it? Is it bothering anybody that I'm eating the sandwich? And they said no, but I just think it's, uh, it's funny that you're eating an entire loaf of bread every week. And then everybody laughed like they'd all been talking about it.
They were like, zip, zip, yes, it's very annoying.
And then I had an intervention and said, you had bo oh my god.
We're just talking about this. But I do like about after the fact, like you, it dawned on you after doing this eight weeks in a row, maybe I should check in.
Eating a sandwich. It was they were They thought I was weird for eating an entire French bread. Look, but that's just the way the sandwiches are sold. It's not my fault.
Well, we were just talking about that. The yesterday is like French people will just get a loaf of bread and eat that loaf of bread on the walk home.
Yeah, with like nothing on it, because that's how good the bread bread.
Is and Americans will get a loaf of bread and cry themselves to sleep and shame because I had a couple of fights.
Yes, I mean Martha Stewart just said that she stopped eating bread to prepare for her Sports illustrated cover. Oh what's your take on that one?
Ready?
Don't even get me startling on it and go it's not empowering at all. It's uh, this is why they do four covers now, so they can like kind of tokenize the covers and like we'll give one to an old woman, We'll give one to someone who never would have a chance. This isn't This is a catalog that is for horny men to look at and masturbate too, and for women to look at and throw up too, or what like, you know, push them towards their eating disorders. This we know what this is. Stop trying to change what it is. It's supposed to make you feel bad about yourself as a woman. It's supposed to make you think I can never be that. And and they're trying to be like we're inclusive. Meanwhile, Anya's point yesterday was it's still not inclusive. Even eighty one year old Martha Stewart is not giving eight eighty one year old women don't stand a fucking chance. They sort of illustrate hates old women.
She's had come on multiple surgeries to look that fantastic. She looks fantastic. She looks like a she looks great, like a thirty seven year old woman.
Hey, easy, take offense to that. I mean that shit is tight. Yeah, she looks great. But this is not This is not something she said. She's up eating bread and she started going to pilates every other day, and I'm sure she did do those things, but that's not the whole story. And it's not a story of like empowering. This is telling women, if you get surgery and fight aging and do all of these things, then maybe we'll consider you for the cover. But it's pandering to me. Oh my god, there's a woman naked across the Woe bra.
Oh yeah, she doesn't know we can see her.
Oh she does, Martha Stewart, she totally does. Yeah, I mean she looks her age.
She's the European.
She's like, oh god, they're podcasting over there. I want to close a window. Thirty jackals with.
A microphone just like glaring out the window with their tongues out.
Yeah, so I mean any other takes that we have on the Martha Stewart thing.
Well, the thing abouts me is, I mean, at some point, you know, an aging woman does get to be like, I'm just like, I've I have wrinkles. I'm like, I don't need to try to be hot. And I think Martha Stewart has kicked this can down the road and now we can never give out. Seventy five year old women are like, now I gotta I gotta chase Martha Stewart down.
I just want to. I can't wait to ease into turtlenecks. Right, I've uncovered something new.
Yeah, isn't there a time where people should just be able to like give in to their.
Aging Yes, yes, yes, And but you're never off the clock now, you're always you are always on guard for like you could be hot, there could be something you could do. You're never allowed to just be and yeah, so it for me, I was just kind of rolling my eyes when I saw it. It was not like, yes, it's so cool they put an older woman on there. If you fell for that, good for you. You're falling for this is this is old men trying to figure out how to make money because it's get pressed.
So she's she said, surgery obviously like face stuff. Then she like incredible lighting I'm sure on that shoot, and then airbrush retouched.
Oh yeah, there's not a single crease on her chest. There's not anything on chef. That's what I was ideal, regular one year olds. No, but I will say that every time Camille Caustic is on Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover, it makes me feel great because she is a full figured gal that is not that makes me feel like really good and doesn't seem to be trying to be anything other than herself. And she's someone who I follow and it gives me great self esteem because she's like the hottest girl going. And look, Chris is looking me up. Now, yeah, you're gonna like this. You're gonna like what you see.
Padma is also in Sports Illustrated.
Oh, Padma looks great. Padma is just Padma is you know. I mean, so it's Camille, but Padma is other worldly. She's just so so, you know, she's supermodel. It just doesn't you know, they're aliens. We're not supposed to be able to look at like them. But don't you like that? Is Thatkowski's Gronkowski costa is broadcast and she's like an acquaintance of mine. We're friendly.
Who is this person?
Click on that? This is what I'm talking about. This makes me feel good.
I don't know this. Is she a model or does she do anything else? She's just she's very sweet.
Yeah, she's really nice.
I'm the only person that doesn't know she was.
That's how I know about her. Yeah, we did a dance to Taylor Swift one time together with Andrew.
Oh yes, okay, oh I saw a video of that.
That was the thing.
I like Ronkowski?
Yeah, do you?
I like retired Rob. I hated him when he played because he always defeated my teams, but I like him. I like his persona post NFL, the goofy. Yeah, he's in on the joke.
It seems cool. I like their relationship.
Can we hit the sports talk bumper really quick?
Now?
I do love it when you guys have a brief.
He does the USA commercials where he tries to get the insurance from the military and they say you can't because you've never been in the military, and he was like, oh man, been geez Jesus you were.
You witnessed other ads than I do miss the Michelin Man or whatever the hell it was last time the Mitch. I totally miss that we're in London, even today when we were I think we were in Vienna and we were headed to the airport and there was like a ref whistle, like you could hear it on the radio. Our driver was listening to it, and I almost asked Chris. We were in the middle of conversation, so I didn't, but I wanted to be like, is did that? Like did your mouth start watering? Just like there's whistles going off and there's some sports somewhere.
I do miss watching stuff because I couldn't watch any of the NBA playoff games. We couldn't get them over. Yeah, and we weren't going to like a bar or anything, so yeah, I mean there's there's a certain amount of like we went to a bar, did we?
Yeah? In my hotel, our hotel, remember, No, we came back from the show, and no, we came back. I don't know where we came back from. And no, I ordered you fries and we were waiting for uber eats, remember, and then the guy we tried to find him and then you got the fries. Then we got in the elevator and I was like, oh, that woman singing in the lounge was pretty cool.
Yeah, I loved that. This was yeah I remember that.
Okay. So in our hotel in Berlin, there was like a lounge and on Saturday night there was like this woman who was like it was honestly like Anya in ten years if she wanted to be. It was like this cool woman, blonde woman playing electric guitar, but like really jazzy, cool, like beautiful guitar.
And we were listening for like ten minutes in the hotel lobby. We couldn't see her. She was in like this bar area.
We just kind of heard someone singing or like we just cool songs. And then we walked by because we had to walk by the bar to get to the Uber Eats because he went around the corner and I walked by and I go, oh my god, like that's that's what I want to do. I want to play like guitar in a bar, like by myself, with no band, no one to judge, just voice guitar. Love it. And then we were getting back in the elevator and I was like, man, that's what I like. I love that woman. I just want to do that. And Chris is like, you want to go back to the watch, and I was like yeah, And so we went in to eat his fur eyes and we sat down and.
Nick He's like, this is the this is what I want to be doing, Like, this is the life.
Was so cool and it was just she was playing all over the neck like she was doing things that I could never do and that I don't I don't really aspire to be like doing. You know, I don't noodling. I just kind of like strumming. That word is to.
It's actually called shreddings listening it's shredding.
She was not, but she was. She was like gently ripping instead of shredding, like you know, like it was just gentle. It was just so jazzy and you could just tell she was.
Like very.
Elite, drained, yes, and she just was cool. And then like she won song alone, No Bad fifty five.
Yeah, she was like we are mid to late fifties. Just she just seemed cool.
Pretty we sit down now where she's like hired to be Yeah, so she.
Was hired by the hotel. She was right when you walk in and we sit down and we're like, oh, this is gonna be great. Will you do this for We can do this for a long time. She's having a drink and she's like playing cool. She played it, She's just playing a cool song.
They brought some nuts. I was fishing out the ones that like were green, that have like the coating around the nut, because I don't really like peanuts. I was eating the coating, you know, there's like Asian.
But then she put everything that was in her hand back in there, and I suspect that they brought that to another table.
That's on them.
I don't have evidence. I remember when it was happening.
I didn't want the peanuts, but I didn't want him because the waiter already hated me, and so I didn't want him to hate me more with a little pile of peanuts. So I just go, I'm throwing them back in. Yeah that guy sucked, Yeah he didn't like us.
So we sit down and we're like this, this woman's amazing, This is so exciting. This is nick This is Nicki's future in front of us, where like this is awesome and we're sort of like dreaming about this woman's life in a way. But then the song ends and she goes, I'm going on a break.
I'm like, oh God, damn it.
And then because we don't want to wait, like, you know, thirty minutes or fifteen.
Minutes, we had just gotten there. It's the end of the night. We were already ready to go to bed, so we go, Okay, we'll back up and go.
So she goes to the bar and gets a drink and then walks not.
Just a drink, it's a tower terror. It was a tower of beer, like a giant beer. And I even commented like, wow, she's a German woman. Like she was just treating herself, you know. And I was like, oh, this is like the life. Yes, she's gonna like treat herself to this delicious beer. She's worked hard now and she's gonna come back from break and be a little bit looser, and like she just owns this place. It was so cool.
So then we had to settle up because we decided to leave. So we settled up. It took us like a few minutes, and we leave the bar and we walk into the lobby area and we see her humongous beer on the table.
Yeah, and I go, oh my god, she's right there. And then we passed by and she is looks despondent. I mean, she looks like she is this is what she late laid back in.
Her head and she's got her hand on her head, like, what is what is becoming.
Of my life? I hate my life?
This is like the opening of White Lotus Berlin.
Yes, and it totally was. But it was so funny to us because I had just romanticized her so much and she was just miserable. And then I go, oh my god, that's what so many people think of my life as that. And then I'm like and it was just you can't win ever.
Grass is always greener on the other side a little bit.
I don't want to there you go, we need to see that beautiful mug. Yeah, So it was it was really cool to see. And then it was like it was also cool to just see like I just was like, God, if I could play guitar like that, I would never be sad again. You ever say that to yourself? Things? Of course, like what you're saying.
If I could play piano like that, if I could speak French like that, if I could earn money like that, yeah.
But I don't believe any of those things will make me never sad again or happy. I mean, if I could. I have a lot of goals. I have my forty under forty, and one of them is playing piano for thirty minutes, for thirty minutes in front of strangers without being asked and have them not be annoyed.
That's one of my But you won't know until the fourth improv class when they finally tell you, yeah, so we do want to get to this. So forty under forty, Brian, this is your forty things you want to do before you turn forty. How old are you now?
Thirty five?
Five five years? Can we here's some of the things you've already accomplished from this list, because they do run the gamut a very simple to like bake a cake to yes, yes, impossible ones.
I recommend everybody do it because what it does is when you turn a milestone age or any age, you turn that age and then a lot of times you get really sad. But if you look back at all the things you did, you can say, well, I did all the things I said I was going to do. I lived my life correctly exactly how I planned it as long as you do all the coals, which you might fail them all and then you'd be really so, what are some of them? Well, I could pull it up. I have my list right here, Glazy.
You should think about yours, and Aya, everybody should think about what theirs should have been.
Right, because we have people past forty here too. I think, yeah, three.
Will you do forty five? And then you do fifty? Under fifty?
Okay? Going up?
Oh right, damn it's hard.
Yeah, okay, so let's hear some of yours, Brian.
I break it down into categories. I have career, hobby, travel, baking, I don't know why that's a whole category, and life to life.
I would like to pick life for five hundred, Alex.
Okay, life for five hundred. One of them that I've did in twenty twenty one is ride a horse.
Oh yeah, you'd never ridden a horse?
I don't know, not recently, not that I remember. So I wanted to ride a horse again. Yeah, so I rode a horse. I did it, and man, do I feel happy?
Have you ever ridden a horse?
Yeah? When I was like a kid, and yeah, yeah.
It is a majestic animal. And did it? What did it feel like to And first of all, why did that go on your list? Second of all, how did you feel after? Did you feel like you thought you would feel?
Yeah?
Why why did the horse go on your list when you were making this list? Do you see a horse on TV and go that would sad that I met thirty nine? I don't know what else to put on you.
Yeah, I saw the horse that I said it would be nice to ride that thing. I didn't feel.
It's different than what I imagined. He's like perving on a horse that's a good looking animal.
That's what I meant. That's what I meant my ride.
So why did you want to ride a horse?
I I just felt like, honestly, it was one of those things that I felt like if I was a guy who had ridden a horse before, I'd be all right.
Like I felt like one of the things that it's going to solve by promising, Okay, we're gonna hear more about this list when we get back from the break, because there's there's thirty nine things to get to and we'll get to at least three more, and we'll also share our goals as well, which I just read the subtle art of not giving a fuck, and a big part of that is just never making goals. So this refutes everything I just spent a lot of time learning. So we'll talk about all that when we get back live from London. Then Nicky Lazer back again. All right, we're back. Brian just revealed that he's doing a forty under forty forty things he wants to accomlished before he turns forty. He's thirty five. Now he could be president. That's the that's the last accomplishment you can have.
That's the last milestone. Sto for age like, yeah, vote twenty one, retirement, rental.
Car, Yes, retirement. Also, your voice stops maturing at thirty five. Up your voice matures. Maybe that has to do with the president thing. They're like, we don't want someone like squeak in up there, but you can.
Always make your voice more mature.
Yes, I'm trying to because I've been having vocal strain recently and I spent a lot of money on fixing it.
It's the tone of this podcast.
I know everyone's more chilled out, more chill I mean, I don't know why you.
Ris is giving me.
Minutes and then I was like, I need to take it down enough.
Chris is giving me major as marm Yeah yeah really, oh yeah, you have like a very soothing boy.
Voice is double soothing today it's not. It really is double soothing, double.
Yeah, because normally it's soothing, but today.
It double yeah.
Yeah, the same. Please tell me his voice is the same. You're the only one that's not putting on a soothing tone. You're you're the same as always.
Listen, this is my path, this is my journey. I don't want anything to touch us. I need I need everyone to remain calm. I'll go back to the way it was before. But having to do I'm not used to talking all day.
I thought Michael taught us like to be up here like hi.
No, it's supposed to be relaxed, just supposed to be open, nothing relaxed. So this is the this is what is the least amount of nothing in my throat is happening. The air is just being pushed at. It's like a slide.
You know.
The slide doesn't have to do any work for you to fly down.
That's what he told us to do.
You go. The way to relax mostly to get your best voice to sound good is to do what I found, because he was like just totally and I was like, he was like, what it looks like? And I go a stroke victim, and he started laughing. I go, what else am I supposed to say? That's exactly what it looks like I found for you.
Well, sorry, I just thought because you talked about your tongue or something. I saw picture of you on your on your Instagram where you had a bunch of pills from like a pharmacy and one of them was magnesium. Yeah, why are you taking that?
Because old glaized dog was stopped up. I looked about six months pregnant, and I even showed Chris I had a towel around it because he couldn't see my bare stomach. But I go, babe, look look, and I stuck out my stomach and I go, we could give an announcement right now and no one would question it. No one. It would be I could go to the clinic and go aboard this and they'd go, it's too late. Even my laugh is like supposed to no, but it's supposed to help you be regular.
Yeah, if you're ever constipated.
I want to be special, not regular. I want my boops to be. Chris does not like potty talk, So we're going to move back on to Wait, what I was gonna say about my voice? So he was telling me to sing the best to make it so, because the best sound is like when you're like totally relaxed, and I couldn't do it. I was just like, I kid this this because he's going like this, like this, and I was going like and then I realized it's when I'm doing a dumb guy voice. And so whenever I'm singing and I feel tension, I always go to like I'm imitating a dumb guy, and then I start to sound.
About to bar right, like about to bar yeah, yeah, And so that's some That's how I'm gonna sound like a del someday.
So what were we talking about?
This is crazy coincidence. Two days ago, I took magnesium for the first time ever. I didn't see her Instagram thing. God Ali saw it and she told me Nick, he's got magnesium, And I said, what are you talking about? Magnesium?
Did you take magnesium?
I took magnesium because it's supposed to help you sleep. It's supposed to relax you before bed, help you.
Take it at night.
Supposed to sleep.
Yes, didn't work. No, it made me jittery. It made me jittery and anxious. Because do you do melatonin?
No?
I I haven't done melatonin no ever.
Never put that on the list.
Bit Well that's where you start, Brian, don't put it in magnesium. Melatonin actually works. And I know they are listeners going, no, it makes you groggy, It doesn't work. It does work. I hate it, love it, stand you. Melatonin the number one thing, Chris? Sorry, what was that?
It's so stupid? Because I was I was I was finally feeling fine. I had been sleeping fine for like the last two days, and then I was like, I said, I was going to take the magnesium, so let me just take it, and then it messed me up. But it's like, if you're feeling fine, don't take anything, just let it. Let yourself be fine till you feel shitty again. You don't have to fix problems that aren't there all the time.
Right, I do that too. What what is that where you? Because it's not comfortable feeling good. We're not used to feeling good.
Right, you can't believe you feel like you didn't do enough work to feel good. So you have to do something. Yeah, it's perfectionism, was what it is.
Well, Chris and I couldn't get to sleep last night. We were both doing the thing of like I would think he was asleep, and I always play white Noise and so I wouldn't hear yeah, cold.
Play and liked it.
I was on my side of the bed, you know, the pillow wall was up. I couldn't really see what was happening over in East Berlin, and so.
I'm west bl okay, okay, I don't know what it means, but I was like and then I suddenly it got to be pretty late, and I go, oh, my god, I see I saw his little phone glowing in.
The night, and I was like, oh, he's starting a little fire over there. Like I could see that there was life, and I was like, oh my god, why aren't we asleep and we're just because we're both on our phones. And then I go, you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do what I heard and a stand up bit, because it always I love when stand up like changes the way you operate. And Shang Wang has this bit that I only saw on a clip. Did you see this? Noah I'm not sure. I don't think so you're no in your head, so I thought, but you must know who Shangwang is. He's a great comic, but he's uh, he's got a special out and he was talking about he was like, you ever try to read a book? He was like, man, that shit makes you so tired. He's like, there's twenty milligrams of militonin on every page. And I was like, ye, there is never a time that I don't get sleepy when I read a book. Why am I trying to do anything else when I'm tired at night? Just grab a fucking book, right And I fell this in so last night I go, I don't know what I'm doing. Chris, I'm reading a book and I was out in two minutes.
Yes, I was reading for like three hours.
You doesn't always work.
Chris is reading a book right now, and I loved because it's on his kindle and I just like to look over over when you're sitting next to each other.
I've actually changed the font to like being smaller so it's harder for you to spot words.
Well, he reads like Game of Thrones books and Lord of Rings, and I just like to look over because there is never there's never a page that seems normal. It's always like and then Gladiil flew through the night, and then the Crusaders cloaked themselves. There's always works like cloaked and and she yes, old yes, I mean, will you do kindle on hand? Will you go grab it? Because I just look at one page of your Nightfall book? What are you reading? What's it called?
So people who are interested, that's a classic?
No, I forget what it's called because it's it used to be three smaller.
Like of the Rings and Goblin.
I know what you mean. I know it was like.
Three novellas they combined to make one one book.
But do you ever start laughing when you read a word? Because you could see me making fun of you. Because I'm trying to get you to start just laughing when you read it because it's so funny.
I just angle further away from you.
I just like to make fun of your feels.
Like I'm like looking at like other girls Instagram. What are you doing there? I'm like nothing.
One time reading about dunk and eggs. For the other day, I couldn't stop laughing. I was laughing sword because I looked over and there was like a picture with like a griffin and in the wind that looked like Florence in the machine, and it was just like it was the most It was like, it's just so cute to see your boyfriend read about like these like other worlds where like dragons exist. It's just so cute. It's like when I call your f one racing your room rooms. I just like to infantilize these things that I don't understand, and I'm jealous that I can't yell get into them.
I want to. I'm dying to be swept up into a book. Take me out of this fucked.
Up realm that's keeping his books, Like realm is another word.
Oh yeah, you so you're reading the same thing.
It's been so long since. I'm like, I can't wait to get back to my book.
I have to do a start one. All you have to do is just talk to a friend who you trust and say, what book is I going to? I did that.
I read Colleen Hoover's Thing. I got through thirty or forty pages and I gave up. I'm just like the phone has ruined my attention span. That's way more interesting on my phone than the book.
I'm trying to get through the biography, the autobiography of Mark Twain, and I mean every single time, I'm like, I got to get back to that realm.
Yes, dragons, and I do love a non fictional I love a memoir. Like I read Prince Harry's Thing. That was the last thing I read.
Let's ago and that you were kept. That's pretty good, right, It was pretty good a long book. If you didn't like it, you wouldn't have gone, Oh wait, that doesn't count.
That was an audiobook.
If you don't want to go back to reading the book, if you're not itching to go read it, then just let it go.
You'll have this weird thing about they got to finish anything they start, and I think that discourages reading, because.
It's the same with raising children. If you're not into it and give it on, just gimme.
I think Nick Hornby said that. I think I think it was Nick Hornby. He was just like, if you don't like a book, you've got to quit it because reading should be fun and reading should be enjoyable. You should be wanting to do it. So if you like are dreading it, you need to quit that book.
Immediately opposite advice for songwriters. I've heard multiple times if you start a song, no matter what, just finish it, really, even if it's a shitty just finish it. And I find that to be good advice, Like, you know, you can make it a verse and a chorus and then you're done, but just try to finish it.
That's something I could put in my forty under fifty write a song.
I know for sure. Let's get back to your list, bro.
I have a fun game about books that you can play if you're sitting next to somebody reading. What I do to Ali is I will look ahead to like the end of this of the last page, I'll find a word. It'll be like balloon, and then I'll just whisper in her ear balloon and she won't know why. But then like two minutes later, she'll get to the word and then she'll laugh.
That's good.
Yeah, it's clever.
Do something like that.
Yeah, well I did something like that in college. My so I would leave, I would go to the I would go to the library. I would go to the library and I would leave like notes in books, or write on pages, or just find a random book in the library and where I went to college at University Missouri, and I would write messages or something in them and I would know what they were, and usually I would do it specifically to people just to like mess with them, or or like I did it to my girlfriend at the time, and I would say like, hey, go get this book. Find this book and turn to page you know, like seventy four and there would be like either have a note in there, or I would like circle words that that created a note like something for.
Them, and positive pranks.
You made his life. He's probably talking about that all the time.
Yeah.
People were just like, how did you do that? He's just like, yeah, you know, I just thought about something that create a little bit in advance.
I used to have a shed. I used to have a shed in my backyard that was there before my parents bought the house. And on the inside of the shed someone wrote a treasure map, and a treasure map was written down, and we followed the treasure map, uh, and it led to a rabbit's grave.
I knew it.
I knew it.
I knew it was going to be a dead animal.
Yeah, why is that a Russian thing?
I don't know.
Just to assume the worst yes, Oh yeah, assume the darkest thing.
A few years later, frozen We have so many dead apples buried frozen out.
I brought my friend over. This is like the elementary school or before middle school or something, and I said, there was a treasure map. I found a treasure map, and I had I had. I had went to the rabbit's grave area and changed the treasure map of us to be not at the rabbit's grave. And I buried a little chest that had a chicken McNuggets box in it and a single penny in the chicken McNuggets box. And we spent four hours following the treasure map. Uh. And we we found the spot and like we got a dig and we just and we dug and then he's like, oh my god, there's something here. In the whole time, I'm pretending like this is the first time I've ever seen anything.
You like giving gifts, Brian, Are you like really into gift giving?
Yeah? I like giving gifts. I don't like receipts.
Because you knew the whole time what the surprise was, but you were getting off on the idea, not off, but you were like I did the fact that this guy was going to find something that you already knew existed, so you weren't being excited about finding a thing and being like what is it?
Well, it was like a whole I thought it was gonna be funny that he's like, it's going to be treasure, and it's a treasure chest. Then he opens it and it's a Chicken mischen nuggets box with a penny in it. Four hours like, oh my god.
The books I'm reading right now that I will never finish is The Art of Impossible, a peak performance primer by Steven Cotler. It actually is very good and it just teaches you how to do things that are impossible, like really impossible that you know, NASA even says you're not gonna be able to build a space shuttle that you can reuse twice to go to the moon, and then this guy fucking did it. And it shows you just a map of how you want to do anything kind of physical feats or you know, any kind of thing you want to do. Then the power of your subconscious mind that is blowing my mind. That is a really good one. It's so hard for me though, because you have to constantly pretty much the whole PREMI says is that your subconscious mind is kind of stupid and doesn't no irony, It doesn't no joking, it doesn't. It doesn't. Ever, it takes everything you tell it seriously. So it's constantly listening to your conscious mind. So whatever you're saying to yourself about yourself, about the world, your subconscious mind is going like, that's the way it is, and we're going to proceed that way. So if you're like, I'm an idiot, I'm an idiot, your subconscious mind is always going to direct you in the way that you're an idiot. So if you lie to it constantly, it doesn't know you're lying. If you're like I'm a you know, I've been recently just saying to myself, you're the best singer in the whole world, because like I'm I'm God's gift to music. I've been literally saying the most delusional things to it recently, just so that I can trick it into then making that happen. And it's almost He's talked about how they've studied people that have had their optic nerves completely severed, and the people have believed enough that they have sight that doctors are confounded that they're able to see when their optic nerve does not even attach to their eye, but they're able to see again because their subconscious mind is really in charge of everything. But I like the idea that it's like a dumb idiot and it takes everything you say completely seriously, so you can never It's really hard for me, someone who talks negatively to themselves almost all the time, to then stop it and go like, oh no. It's almost like being around a child and like cussing around a kid and being like, I can fuck up that kid's whole life if I say the wrong thing, and it's going to set it off on this weird course. So it's it really is interesting though, Brian. Have you read about this kind of stuff?
Oh?
I know all about it. I mean yeah, it's like it's like drags from Guardians of the Galaxy For anybody who knows what I'm talking.
About, what I am grew?
What is it? Yeah, he doesn't understand sarcasm. So if you go, that went over my head and you'd be like, nothing would go over my head. I would catch it like that type of thing.
Yes, But do you know about that being like your subconscious mind is really stupid. It's smarter than that. It like, you know what they compared it to, which I like this analogy. If there's a ship cap in captain, and then there's someone within the hall of the ship that can't see anything outside of what's happening, what are you about to say?
Christ That's what I was thinking, because you said cap is it captain?
Crunch ships colloquial.
Boat talk coming through. So the captain's upstairs, and then your subconscious mind is in the hall of the ship, and that's the one that's doing the oars, that's the one that's putting the coal into the fucking It can't see out the window. It has no idea. So if the captain is telling it, like, you know, go this way, there's no way for it to go, Like are we really supposed to go that way? Is there not an iceberg coming? It just will do it. So you have to think of your subconscious mind as always taking direction from your your conscious mind, and you've got to make sure your conscious mind is being a really good boat captain, otherwise you don a Titanic.
And everyone can say they hate positive affirmations and it's lame. But if you think about it. You're giving yourself negative. You might be giving yourself negative affirmations all day long, so you kind of have to balance it out a little.
It takes three to one, so for every that's pretty much the studies have shown that three positive for every one negative. So if you say, oh god, I'm so fat, you got to course correct and say three positive things to make your brain undo that thing.
Fat with a pH, fat with a pH, fat with a pH.
So that's an important distinction, is you're you're not only does it not understand sarcasm, but your subconscious mind doesn't understand negatives either. So if you say I am not fat, your subconscious mind is just hearing I am fat. It doesn't understand they're not part. So you have to say, really, I am skinny, I am hell.
Let's be the thought fat in your head.
I've heard that too.
So rather than saying I'm not fat, you say or like, this is one that I do a lot. Like when I was in physical pain, I'd be like, okay, I don't I have any pain, and then I heard no. You have to say, like, I feel incredible, I am mobile, I am at one hundred percent, even I am at one hundred percent might be slightly putting the idea in your subconscious mind that there's there's a possibility of a deficit. So you just say like, I'm thriving.
Sometimes though I cannot help it, like I'm someone who believes in this stuff, and even reading the books, I'm like, this is the way I'm going to believe my life. I'm going to change my life on a fucking dime right now. I'm never gonna talk negatively to myself again. It doesn't behoove me. It feels so good to bully myself. I'm not kidding you. I almost started an account just to write on my own posts the things that I know other people are already thinking, so that I can beat them to it, and they don't get to have to control the narrative. I get to control it.
So like then you're in a hell of your own making.
But at least I get to there's some It was weird. I don't do it, and I would never do it, but I really thought, like I can bully myself better than these people, and I want to be the one to do it, to show them how it's done.
So what's been three to one to that that's a lot of effort. I don't know how how do you balance that out? You have to create like a positive account.
To me, you know what I need. I needed to squeeze out three tears and then I was fine. Like crying just like fixes everything for me. And I don't know why I can't do it more often. I just every time I'm feeling that way, I think I just need to go. I need to step away and watch a sad movie or a video or something and just cry. Because after I cry, I don't even have that feeling of like, oh I feel stupid now, Like I just feel like better, and it just it fixes, it literally fixes everything. I keep leaving so late to the game and figuring out this cry thing. It's pretty fucking good.
I think what you have there though, as a screenplay, I think that's a movie. You have a social media influencer who sick and tired of troll so she goes and creates a fake account that trolls her, and then the fake account becomes also very famous, and then she has to pretend to be both these people. Like maybe she winds up, you know, having a suicide attempt or something like that. This is a to.
That and then like the guy of her dreams falls in love with the bully.
Yeah, oh yeah, it has to become the bully in a scene.
Okay, this is good. You guys were something we should take this tell anybody, don't tell me. Steals it. So we're in London.
Well, I feel like there was another story besides the the the person who had like your future life and who hated it. We had another story that we really liked.
Oh about the lounge singing woman. Oh yeah, I wrote it down. Hold on, let me see because I had.
Does it take place in Berlin or did it take place in Vienna?
Oh no, this one takes place in JFK. No, not JFK. Newark.
Oh yeah.
So we flew from Saint Louis to Newark and then from Newark to Berlin, and we Chris and I had like a six hour layover and so, which is kind of nice because Newark actually is like in good shape. I used to think Newark was the worst airport by far, but it was. We were in a good section and we sat down at a restaurant. Chris made a joke that I didn't even understand was a joke. At the time, but looking back, it was funny because I was like, do you want to sit inside? And he goes, no, let's sit outside, and it's like, not outside, it's just like in the terminal. So we sit outside and we get some I get some shashido peppers, you get some little fried dumplins. And we're having a nice little chat. And then I look behind Chris and I see a duty free shop and one of the posters on for a fragrance is this model and I go, look behind you, it's Willa. And he turns around and it looks exactly like Willa from Succession. Her name is Justine. I forget her Loupe loope, Oh easy was a little too fast. Why don't you try to look it up? Like Camille Costack.
You don't know. I'm rooting for her more than most other people in the show, Like I want her to have a happy ending.
I think she her turn. Her whole turn in the in the show has been very interesting. But anyway, she plays Willow. She plays Connor Roy's wife, but who started out as his prostitute. Yeah girlfriend, like everyone knew. Everyone always talked about like she's just being paid to hang out with him, and then they end up getting married and now she's kind of like the most supportive wife out of the whole thing, Like they have the best relationship with anyone, which is fairly ironic given how they met and how she was kind of when he first was like, you know, do you do you think you could be happy with me? Or are you happy with me? And she's like yeah, like she's just like kind of not run into it, and she goes, I'm not gonna leave now. She said that to him and he was like okay, good and he's all just like heartened by that. So anyway, they get married and but I go didn't look like Willa and he turns on he's like, oh, yeah, I forget what you said. You kind of were like yeah kind of and he's like not as good, not as good as Justine Lupe and I go easy. And then five.
Minutes past what you just you know, if a guy thinks an actress is hot, if they know their full name off the yes.
And so like the other night we were watching, oh what were we watching? And oh there we were some sporting thing and I go, oh, look who's like on a cool sports It was like some she was like on some like Porsche or like cool like f one brand, and it was what is her name? I don't even know her Brett, No, no Brev.
No idea, I have no idea.
Right of course, no clue.
Right, I didn't know her name either.
Chris goes, oh, yeah, she's good, she's something, she's special like and I never get jealous of him oggling women and not ogling just but like noticing a woman's beauty. It doesn't bother me. But then he goes, oh, she's the one with a red dress. And I go what? And that now I was starting to go what's going on here? And I go, I bet he, I bet he knows. And sure enough, you google Nina Doe Brev red dress. No, no, you like as in the you generally if you google it, because I googled it and looked it up, and it is quite impressive. There are some boobs going, there's different angles of the boom. There's side boom, there's under boom, there's top boob. It's all of the sides of the boom in one dress. It's fantastic. And but anyway, so he was a fan, and we're also fans of this Will a character. So five minutes after I point out this, this girl looks like her. I see, I'm talking about some bullshit and Chris is listening kind of and and then all of a sudden, he's I see his face go like, oh my god, my god.
He goes Will, Will.
And I think he's saying Will, and I go, who's Will? And then passing us and he goes Willa, Willa, and I go, what what? And it's so she was walking behind me right towards him. Then she passes me and then I see the back of her head and I was like, oh my god, we love it. Like I tried to get her attention. She didn't turn around, but then she kind of did further down. Because I think you said that she saw you make the recognition.
Yeah, I think she saw in my I think those people that are like are newly famous, they can kind of they can kind of see somebody yes doing the math in their head. And I think she saw me doing the math, and you know, she.
Makes herself kind of available.
And I wouldn't say that necessarily. I just I just think she was like, I think that guy's doing the math, right. I don't know if he's gotten there yet.
So she this was so I'm like freaking out, but I know where she's going because she's going to a dead end. We just came from there. That's where our flight got out, and it's dead and there's no food and they don't seem to be in a rush, her and her boyfriend. So I was like, Oh, their gate is down there. They're gonna look at their gate and they're gonna circle back around because they seem to have time. They're gonna go back and try to find something to eat. We're gonna see him again. So I was like, cause I'm gonna say something. I'm not letting I have a succession Bengo card and I want to meet everyone from that show.
I love your enthusiasm for the situation because I thought I thought it was like, oh, that was fun to see them, but then you believe they were coming back and you were like, oh, I'm this is going to be a thing that I'm doing.
Yeah.
Because Chris and I continued our conversation, I said, I don't want you to think I'm rude, but I'm on, I'm on willow Watch right now, Like I'm gonna be looking behind you but I'm there, you know. So then all of a sudden, I feel like I.
Was a like an LA party where you were just like looking over my shoulder to see if there's somebody more interesting to talk to.
That's so true. So I was.
I was looking at her shoulder, but I told him, like, don't think I'm rude, like I am looking for someone better.
And then Glenn from Haveverick, I'm into him.
I don't care for that anymore. So then I see her and she's walking towards me, and I am desperate to make I started fixing my hair and like doing this under my eyes to like smooth out my bags, just any like just and I go, do I look weird? Do I have anything in my teeth? Because I was eating seaweed salad and like these peppers, and so I'm like, is there anything? And then I'm like hi, I go and I waved and I got her attention and she walks, you know, right by her table. So she stops and I go, I love you so much. You are so great, you are so talented, Like what did I say.
Gushing career? Yeah you were gushing, yeah, and you were very positive about her future. And she was like, she was really sweet about the whole thing, and her guy was of me, just like because when people come up to you all the time and I'm talking to you and I'm just sort of like sitting in the background, like smiling and.
Not heatud of because I was like, and I wanted to give her a compliment that was beyond like, because I know what it's probably like to get role like that. You've been working your whole life, and you have so many other things you've done, and now this is the only thing you ever get recognized for. And there it just ended too and maybe you don't have anything coming up. But I was like, but she's so good on that show, and I've studied her acting so much on it because she's so funny and so subtle that I was just like, I need to give her a good compliment. So I said, we'll be watching you forever you're not. I was like, I'm you're You're so fantastic. You're such a good actress and you're just amazing. And she was just like thank you. And she just looked stunning, you know, but like normal, not as tall as you'd think. Will it would be for everyone who watches succession. You probably think she's very very tall.
Yeah, I was gonna guess like five eleven.
She may have been actually, because models, she's like model beautiful, So she just looked like gorgeous. And then I went to the bathroom afterwards and I was like, I gotta get my shit together. Like she didn't have any makeup on yet she still looks stunning. I mean, we both had the same level of care put in, but I looked like a ragamuffin. So anyway, I punted it out so exciting, and christ oh, yeah, I'm beautiful, I'm strong, I'm lucky, and things work out for me. And so then and I'm gonna be watching myself the rest of my life. And so then I was like yeah, yeah, yeah, And Chris took a picture and she's very small in the background because by then she had gotten far away. And then I posted it and I tagged her in it, and then she wrote me back and she said this is the most flattering and all these heart emojis, and she said, I've loved hearing you on podcasts talking about your life with such honesty. Of course your comedy is so great, but hearing you be so transparent is really inspiring and quite rare. And then I wrote back a gigantic paragraph. She saw it didn't ride back, but we're off to a good star. I said, thank you so much for saying this. It makes me feel so good. I am such a fan and will be for life. I legit rewind and rewatch and study the subtle comedic choices you make on the show. You're such a standout. I'm not telling you anything that everyone isn't already saying, but your truly next level is so nice to meet you.
Xo.
Oh that's so nice.
That's like a period.
Compliments those are great well, because.
I get compliments all the time, and they break my fucking heart. And that's why I don't like hanging out of this. Just like you know, I love you on your roast and they've just watched me do stand up. Then they but this is how they say it. They go, you know what I really love is your ross. You know that, Like that's what they say, or they'll they'll just compliments more than not when you are an insecure person and which most performers are, just take something from you sometimes. But so yeah, I'm I try to give what I would want without being insincere.
I think it's I think it's easy. It's easy for people to use something negative to then make it seem like whatever they're like. They set it up with like, I'm not usually into female comics, but you're funny, so they think it's like catapulting their compliment into the stratosphere when really.
Like I want over this guy. He doesn't. I don't think he's an idiot at all from his first statement.
But people think like, oh, this is a you know, like I usually don't watch stuff like this, but I'm really into your stuff. Yes, all right, well cool, your compliment didn't need to like or like describe yourself. Yes, I don't care an.
Art form like not everyone knows how to do. You have to learn how to do it. Yeah, I read a book really well, said no, you didn't.
Writing a book on it.
It'd be funny if it turns out that that wasn't Willa and you were just like, I'm going to be watching you. I love you.
Made me feel really good. You read a book about how to give compliments.
How to talk to anyone? Ninety one little secrets or big Success.
You love these numbers. Okay, so what was I think you learned from it, have you, guys? No, I like this book. Wait, well, we have to take a break. Let's learn from Brian about how to best give compliments and talk to people. When we get back, and to casual dance. We'll learn all that we get back, all right, Brian ninety one Ways to talk to What was the title of the book.
We talked to Anyone? Ninety one Little Secrets for Big Success. It's a great book.
No, you don't on you.
You can also do with She also has another book called How to Make How to Fall in Love with Anyone and or how Anyone Can Fall in Love with the titles it's how to Make Anyone fall in Love with You?
Deal Carnegie.
Yes, tell us some tips.
Yeah, like some of the more fascinating things you learned.
My favorite tip about complimenting is that you should. It's how to accept a compliment people. Some often people will be rude and not accept compliments. If someone says, hey, that's a nice shirt of common response would be, oh, this old thing this is you know, this is a piece of shit. I hate this, and then it makes a compliment or feel stupid. It's like saying you're stupid that you thought this was a nice shirt. So what do you do? How do you how do you accept a compliment in a good way?
Thank you?
You say, that's so nice of you. How thoughtful of you to think of me like that, that think how interesting of you to make that observation.
Yeah, that's pretty close. So what they that's actually pretty close. So if you just say thank you, that's like fine. But that's like a C you know, like a grade. Yeah, because that's like, okay, I've acknowledged that. You know, I didn't shoot you down, but we're supposed to do.
So nice of you to say that.
That's okay. Uh see C plus.
But I was hating this shirt earlier, but you made me feel so incredible.
Here take it.
Oh my god, did you see that the clip when Donald Trump was on Conan from like the before he was a political guy and he had this Trump tie on. He was wearing one of his own ties, and Conan, you know, was just being nice and he said, oh, I like your tie. That's a nice tie. And then Trump said, are you like this tie? I'll give it to you. And he took off his tie and gave it to Conan and Conan, did you ever see that? No?
But do you feel like he read a book?
The warder action made me? What made me feel weird?
I've had that happened to me before, where people have been like do you want it? And I'm like, yes, Whitney, I'd love that shirt with horses on. Your dad does that every time.
I'm like, oh cool, you know he gets like a new Patagony, cool Patagonia and he's like, you have it. Yeah, I'm like, no thing every single time if you compliment anything, So we like start like we'll do this, We'll compliment him on things. We'll be like, get off, get off a dad.
Pretty soon he's naked.
What do you say?
You need to compliment the complimenter for complimenting you.
So if somebody says, centered, we didn't think of that, you.
Got to think of the other person. So if somebody says that's a nice shirt, then you should say, oh, that's so interesting that you say that. You actually my aunt got me this shirt for my birthday and it's one of my favorite shirts.
Let me let me just say the difference between what Anya's response is is that we should think of that. Why only think of ourselves? This is a book written about people who think about trying to get things from people. This is a book about how to manipulate people to like you. More so, it's not really thinking about someone else. This is what you would do to get that person to like you.
Isn't this what the coach on Love on the Spectrum was teaching them when she was like rolling the ball back.
And please Michael Michael, Yes, Michael, that's a great question. She also likes.
That's that's an amazing Australian accent. That is so difficult. That's one of the most difficult accents to do.
Well. Here's a trick if you want to say the word no, so thoughtful of.
You to make that observation about Nikki.
Brian my aunt once.
Don't you make them feel smart for having observed.
These are manipulative techniques. These aren't just like this is this is what you should do to be a good person. It's like, this is how you get them.
Then you compliment them. What if they have a shirt.
Because then.
Thank you card and then thank you for the thank you.
Here's a thank you.
No, you don't return the compliment with a compliment. You compliment the compliment or for complimenting you. So if you say if they say, hey, that's a nice shirt, and then you go, oh, you have a nice shirt too, that's just as bad as saying bullshit.
I hate that.
I think it's like, I thank you, I love this shirt. It's so nice of you to say that.
That's pretty good. That's like an a minus because you are telling the person that they are they for pointing that out because they they notice something that people noticed.
Is one of my biggest pet peeves in win returning compliments. Someone will say, Nikki, you are so funny. That was so good. You're one of the best comments. I'll go with, that's so nice, and they go, no, I'm not being nice. Don't know, don't I'm not being And then I have to start fighting with them of like, well, it's still nice that you said it, and it can still be They go, it's just true, and I go, well, thank you, and they go, you don't need to thank me. I'm just and I'm like, I can't fucking win here, Like, do you know what I have to have people done that to you? Yeah, where they go, I'm not being nice, it's not nice, it's just true, and You're like Okay, I get it, You're I'm and I'm not saying that you're being nice to me does not mean a lie. It just means that makes me feel good. And then I eventually get to that and then they kind of move on, but where they have to kind of be like, no, I'm smarter than all these people here, I'm telling you the truth. Like I get it. I'm really a lot of girls will say to me, I'm like, I'm pretty intellectual and you're smart. Like I want to let you know, like I hang out with doctors mostly and you are like on the level, and I'll go appreciated.
This looks like a little mini brag or like telling you know, people like trying to tell you their personality and it's like, I don't care.
I did that a little bit with Justine, Like I knew that she probably respects me comedically, so I needed to let her know your comedic choices are, like I knew that she is, She's aware of me, So there is probably like a pedestal of like this girl knows comedy and I had to give her one because she is good at comedy in a way that maybe it would mean more to her than someone else. So I kind of did the same time.
I very badly because you couldn't do it. Wanted to be like when when you were like be well, you guys had that like a little exchange. I very badly wanted to be like, this is you don't know this, but this is this is Nicky. She's one of the best comics, like.
Or she's one of the biggest succession fans. Yeah ever, but yeah, thank you bab for almost saying that. That's really nice of you. Yeah, smarter, thank you for being the Okay, what are some other tricks of the trade, Brian, to like be a good conversationalist and to get people to like you and fall in love with you.
Okay, so if you are this is like, this is an easy one. Everybody knows this one, but sometimes people don't do it. If you are at a party and you are introducing, uh, somebody to somebody else, you should say something that is interesting about them that you think the other person will have in common with them. You don't just dump people off and say, oh, Jen, this is Alice, Jen is my coworker and then leave them. You got to think, what do these two people maybe have in common? Oh Jen, this is Alice. Do you know you guys? You know both went to UH school in Ohio. Boom. Now they can talk as long as you you can leave right.
I'm going to thought over email intros. I give a great email intro, but I have a hard time in person A lot of times just.
Frings it up beforehand and read it off when you go to a party.
It sounds so common sense, it sounds like everyone must do that, But then you go to a party and it doesn't happen, and then you're just sitting.
My favorite trick then, I've talked about this so many times, but it's just the funniest trick to me is that if you ask someone it's this is totally manipulative. If you ask someone for a favor that you can do. Like if I was like Anya, will you turn out my volume? And I easily could do it, and you do it, you in your head have to think I didn't just do that because I'm a little bitch. I must do it because I really like Niki, and so it makes you like me more because your subconscious doesn't want to feel like a little bitch that this girl just bosses around. So you convince yourself. I did it because I love Nikki and I like her, and I do think so, isn't that Have you ever read that one, Brian, I'm not.
Really following what you're saying.
I've seen it. It's basically, you ask for small favors and you think it's going to count against you, like man, Nicky's always asking me to do these favors, but it does the opposite. Instead of you not liking you liking Nikki less because she's always bugging you with stuff, it makes you think you like her more.
Yes, because you have to convince yourself. It's too hard to think I'm doing this because she asks. I'm a little bit boy or whatever. I know, but that's the only way I can think of it, Like I'm like a pussy that gets bossed around by this lady because I've had it happen to me before, where I'm like, why am I doing this? And you do this cognitive shift where you go, oh, I don't do this because I I'm a pushover and a little bitch. I do it, but then I do it because I like her, and then therefore you then do like them more. It's a Dale Carnegie trick and it's also in this book called the Psychology of Influence that is very fascinating. I've never used that because I just don't. I don't want want someone to like me because I've done a mental manipulation on them. I want them to like me for pure reasons. That's also why and stand up. I don't I talk over claps because I know that the audience if they clap, if they if they laugh, and they keep laughing, they'll eventually go to a clap. If you just take a sip of water. But I don't want them to do that because I know that it's a trick and they will be at the end, they will like me more, not because I was funny, but because I tricked them into clapping to fill the silence to get through my water sip. And it's a thing that every comedian does. And I'm not saying I'm better because I don't do it, but I think I might be because I'm I want to be. I want to be judged on the merit of my comedy, which I don't think is up to snuff with a lot of comedians. Yes they don't. It's just like you call it clapter. Yeah, because it's last. We're watching some standard plowing through specials.
It's wild that claps somehow are substitutes for laughs, and you're like, nobody was laughing there.
And I don't, as a viewer, want to hear people clapping at home. It bores me. I'm like, I'm not there. Let's speed this up.
I don't laugh and a clap last into claps great.
Yeah, yeah, once in a while, I think three per special.
It's a little Yeah. It's kind of like, is this a ted talk? Are you empowering us?
Which is fine too, Like I'm okay with being empowered, but if you're using it, if you're just taking too many pauses, I'm just suspicious. And I think you're a little bit of a magician, which is part of comedy, and that's fine, and I've talked about it so much on here, But yeah, Chris and I are plowing through specials. We watched Seinfeld's twenty three Hours to Kill. It's so good. I loved it, but I can't. I have to say that Bill Burr's Red Rocks is the special to beat right now. I think it is. It is so fucking good. It took me so long to watch it because I just I don't want to compare myself to him. It makes me depressed about like how good you can be, and like he's just it's just just the best.
There's no fear, straight straight to the funniest stuff. I mean, same sort of thing.
You know.
I mean, I would say Mullany is right there with him, but to me, it's Mullaney. And I will only say this because I do this too. Mullaney is more performative. Bill is like in the moment, like pissed off about these things, like there's no and I'm sure there's obviously he's having to amp some of this up. He can't be this mad about this thing he wrote about, but it does seem of his mind in that moment. And you know the way he plays with the mike sand, the way he plays with his water like there's nothing, there's no kind of movement that seems calculated. It seems like and Louie used to do this too, and say that every time he tells joke, he tells it a different way because he wants it to be like in the moment, he wants to find new things about it. I don't like when comedians are I don't like act outs very much unless they're really good. Taylor Thomlinson had a great act out where she was like climbing off a guy the other day, and I studied it, being like, it's so perfectly minmed out of being on top of a guy and him saying something gross and you kind of just go like it was so good and it made me like go, like, I need to do more act outs. But I don't like act outs where like you you just are preparing to get to something that is like not that good.
I don't know, you've got some You've got some act out in your act right now that I'm into.
Yeah, language one, Oh yeah, yeah, it's.
Like where you're just well, it's it's more of like a physical things similar. Oh yeah, I don't want to spoil.
It right now, but I don't, right, But I guess I'm saying I don't want to act out ire or confusion or I want to be in the moment. Bilbert to me, which I don't know how he does it. I think it's because he he writes from such an authentic place and dude, this special is so good. And I've been talking about this because Bilbert I was always kind of reluctant to watch this stuff because he's so good and it's so undeniable, but there was a lot of like women suck, and it made me feel bad about being a woman, and because he would convinced me that I kind of women suck, and I'd really kind of sad about myself afterwards. Final thought, but Bill Burr I saw him on Conan back during COVID and he talked about it was one of the episodes where Conan was doing it at Largo and there's no audience, it was a little bit more intimate, and he was talking about doing mushrooms and having this epiphany that all of his anger on stage and off was coming from a place of feeling alone and unwanted and unloved as a child. And I'm paraphrasing, so I'm not exactly saying what he said, but he said this on Conan, and he was interesting because on Conan usually he is just like rapid fire, the funniest person that's ever existed, always saying things like they're off the top of his head, but they're somehow just beautifully written, but they're also seemingly so just pure, and he's just the best, I think, and and I've always watch him on Conan and just been in complete awe. But this Conan was so special because he was just like, yeah, I did mushrooms and I'm realize, I'm fucking anger because my childhood and I my dad didn't fucking love me, and I you know, I had shitty parents. And it was kind of just sat there and there was there wasn't a punchline coming, and he was like what did he say? He goes, you know what, Uh, there's a thing called like empathy that I've lacked.
I don't know.
I'm just like getting into empathy now. And there was no joke there. It was just and Cony was like yeah, and he goes yeah, and it was just there.
And he's like, I have a lot to process. Yeah, And it takes me a long time. I realized to like emotionally make sure it's giving me goosebumps.
I was like, oh my god, I'm so excited for whatever's going to come after this. And then he put out Red Rocks and I remember seeing some like women stuff on there where I'm like, oh, maybe he's back to his old ways or whatever. I didn't give it a chance, And then I saw one clip that I really loved, and I've talked about it before. It's the Lizo clip where he's like, women love Lizzo because they're not threatened by her, among other reasons they love her, but like everyone's like yeah, girl, because they're like, you're not gonna steal my like whatever it is. There was some truth to that that I found really refreshing. And so, but then we watched it the other night and he talks about doing Mushroom. He went into it. Now he has jokes around the whole Mushroom trip and how he felt this loneliness and he couldn't get out of it and he kept going lower and lower and lower, and he describes it and how and then he tells a story about running to a lesbian in the street and she like kind of like gives him like a really hard shoulder and he's so fucking pissed about it, like why the fuck would she do that? Like what a bitch? And like and like anyone would about someone who like just bumps into them really hard with warning, Like he's, you know, walking towards her on the sidewalk and he's trying to get out of her way, and she switches to the side he's on, and then she switches when he tries to get to the other side, and then she fucking just like shoves him. And then by the end of it, he's like found this commonality and this empathy for her and just it's just the coolest thing. And he and he's just also seems like such a good dad. But he's sharing these moments where he thinks he's gonna suck up his kid, but there there there are moments where he's like a you know, quote unquote bad dad or like maybe not the best dad, but he also has empathy for himself. It's just like really beautiful and he just seems I don't know, I'm just I really think that's that's the level to aspire to get to, is to be completely authentic, not lying about anything you don't there's no bullshit. Louis used to tell us that his kids were pieces of shit and that he didn't you know, he gave his he got a hand up from his wife on the floor. But you know, things like that, and you go, God, this is refreshing. It's honest, and there were truth to that. Bill does not seem to be holding back any like ugly side of himself that he's not presenting to us, and I just found it to be just inspirational.
Yeah, he was amazing. He's in the pocket, he's authentic. Ali Wong is another thing. It's just like yes, to see some of these people just being themselves and being so funny. I think it is one of my favorite things of watching specials back to back to back because you just see these people that are so comfortable with who they are. And part of that is like with age and all that stuff. But man, those two so good. Bargazi's so good.
Yeah, Yes, it's something that you know comes with time, and that's the nice thing about stand.
Up and also therapy and doing some work on yourself. Like I find if you watch older Bill Burr stuff, it's not quite I mean, it's all good, but it's not quite as deep because of these revelations.
Have still be mad at women and see the hypocrisies of our movements and still have really good things that make me go, God, we do do that, and that is cringe And like, man, he does have a good point, which is the opposite of the side I'm on, and like makes me you know, his thing about abortion. I don't don't know if anyone's seen it, but his analogy is one of the best analogies going. He he says, like, you know, I'm pro choice, but you gotta admit it. You're you're killing a baby, like it is murder. Like I'm sorry, you know, And he says it's like he goes, you know, but they say it's not a baby yet, you know, whatever they say, And he says, it's like if you were to be baking a cake and you get a cake and you put it in the oven and then someone comes out and just takes the cake before it's fully done and just throws it on the floor, and you go, what did you do to my cake? And they're like, it wasn't a cake yet. You go, what a bit? And it just like, you know, it made me think a little bit. It was just such a perfect analogy. It's just it's nice to have someone out there that I aspire to be that is as good as he is. Because he is. I see the work he puts in, obviously to writing, but I think the real work that he's putting in is just finding out how to be as authentic as possible, which seems a lot more easy to me than like sitting down with a laptop at Starbucks, which to me is not gonna happen ever for me. But I might find a new truth to myself, like if just keeping it, Like what else am I? There's still things I'm probably not being fully honest about on stage, and that's exciting to go. Well, maybe I can get even further into something that is even more that I don't even realize about myself yet.
Oh, your act has evolved so much. I mean, you've always been lauded as somebody that's like painfully honest, which is such a great thing that we all. That's why I think most people love you is that you're just going to say the things that no one is brave enough to say. But like I think if you compare your older comedy to now, it's like, now you're broaching topics that make people really uncomfortable, but you're like, I don't care. I want to talk about this shit. People should talk about this, And I think that's what is exciting because it's it's like funny and it can create change within people.
Yeah, you know, thanks girl, It's true.
I mean, it's I think earlier it's like joke, joke, joke, joke, And now you're more You're like, why is society this way? You know?
Yeah, that's really nice. I appreciate that.
Oh, it was so nice of you to say something that.
Why why, it's really smart of you. No, Okay, I got it. You want to see this? Okay, Okay, you know what. I really appreciate that compliment because you are noticing this thing about myself that I didn't think anyone really saw, and you are paying attention to something that, first of all, no one else has even been that astute. And I'm trying to I'm giving that like bullshit version. No one else has ever given me a compliment like that, And you were noticing something about me that I really have only noticed about myself, and I was thinking, maybe someone got it, and you get it.
I feel good now even though you know.
The trick it's isn't it working?
Ye?
Aren't you more likely to compliment? Way through?
I was like, this is I think in general people need to give more compliments. I I just know, but I do like you more. Okay, what do we have to do in London while we're here? The next couple of days. Have you guys been to London? Noah, Brian never Europe? Sadly you haven't. Is that on your list?
Brian?
Would you go to Europe with me? Would you we should do a trip together?
On my list?
Yeah, I'll go number four Strawberry.
You just rattle off some of your lists. Can we just like get just rapid fire?
So online?
Is Brian?
Go into the sea.
There's done that yet.
But it was a long time since I had gone into the sea. So I did it. I did it.
I wait, like, sounds like you're about to kill yourself.
Just walk in, walk into the sea wearing a heavy coat.
Go into the sea.
Okay, you your dad's number one boy.
I love this list.
Okay, Uh, spend a continuous month in New York, which I did. I did that last year. Uh make you.
Live there for years?
He grew up.
Now now now that I live in l I want to go back to New York and spend a frae month there and I did. Okay, make a Genoese sponge.
I like this list a lot. Have you done that one yet? No?
I can't figure it out.
Sorry, Friede, You're failing. It's got to be some kind of fucking cake.
I don't know.
It's something they have to frequently make from scratch on the Great British Bakeoff. So I was like, I should how to do this? Which you have forty things? You got to make it achievable?
What we need more? I'm sorry, I gotta keep going here.
Make a trifle.
No, there also is make a chocolate soup flee, which I haven't done yet either. That's hard.
Let's go through the ones you haven't done.
Okay, Uh, visit my mom's house in Florida. I have not done yet.
Something everybody should do. I know what, everybody, if you're listening right now, put this on your forty under forty list. Visit Bryan's mom's.
House in Florida. Go to Iceland. I haven't done that. I was supposed to go in twenty twenty, and obviously we couldn't. Well, there was a bear attack and ice. Okay, yeah, we got until we take care of this bear and no one can come in.
Hey, Brian, you know what we should do is the next time there's a volcano there, we should just buy a ticket to Iceland immediately and go see the volcano.
Well, I have to go.
All ask me to go on any spontaneous trips, and you've asked Brian, that's not true.
I'm always asking Nikdi going trips and she's like, no, I just can't. I can't make any time for it. And then it's like open in a week, we're doing another girl's trip.
But you never say specifics like I want to go try a strawberry. I like a goal. I feel like we're just gonna go over there and walk around aimlessly. I like, I'll go, I'll go eat.
A strawberry, and me and Brian have stuff for the next three years.
So wow, seven, Okay, give me, give us a couple more.
Brian, Okay. I want to read all the memoirs on my bookshelf, which is a lot that I haven't done. Yeah, and they're all they're all comedians' memoirs. And I like to only read memoirs of people who are over sixty because I don't think that they have enough knowledge and wisdom.
If they're under sixty, you can fly through prior convictions and Born Standing Up those take.
Like, oh, already read Born Standing Up? Who's prior conviction? Has Richard Pryor.
Richard Pryor and then Sam Kinnison's brother Sam. I think is that one takes a little bit right now I'm on the Oh oh god, okay, I gotta do that one.
The best one I've ever read. The best memoir I've ever read from a comedian so far is Dean and Me by Jerry Lewis. It is, it is the most it's the most succinct. It's focused on his relationship with Dean Martin. It made me, it made me so emotional, just the whole one.
We read memoirs and autobiographies. Will you read a biography?
No, I'll only read it if it's written by the person.
Okay, okay, sorry, tell us why the woman was so good?
Dean and Me is it's not framed. Also, Norm's memoir I read it was really good. Obviously he's not serious in it. But Dean and Me is focused on it's it's framed like a love story between Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin, and it's it's not like I was born this year and then I went to this school and then this was my mom was like, this was what my dad was like. It like a lot of memoirs will just like go through all the facts of someone's life. Dean and Me focuses on the day Jerry Lewis met Dean Martin, and then their relationship, how they their careers rose together, and how they had a falling out, like a relationship breaking up, and then it and then Jerry Lewis was still alive when he wrote the book. Obviously when it came out, he didn't write he was still alive. I think Dean Martin was dead though, and he wrote about after many years them reconnecting on one of the telethons, and the book ended. It didn't go like and now that I'm this age, now I'm doing this. It was like, it's about that focus thing. And I think that's that should be a lesson for anyone who wants to write a memoir. Focus it on a narrative. Focus it on a specific thing. Don't just make it a like a layer a list of facts going through the timeline of your life. Nobody really wants to know every single thing, the street you grew up on and stuff. Make it focused on a narrative, all right, That's why it was so good.
Are there any memoirs that you're in two clays?
Wait, are you setting me up for something. No, Oh, that was nice of you to just ask. That's a really good question. And it seems like you're really good at your job of being on radio.
And I just want to say thank you for thank you, Yeah, because like that means a lot to me.
I will say that I love the Johnny Carson biography, which was an unauthorized biography by his lawyer who is his best friend. I'm it's fucking good, dude. That guy was a monster, complicated, sad, but like obviously a legend and written by someone who loved him very much. But that is really good. And someone with like that mom would never love him enough and was never proud of him. There's one scene where he like, you know, buys his mama house and she's just and he's, you know, hosting the Tonight Show. He's like the most famous man in the country, and his mom is just like, I don't like it. Like she just will never she'd never say she's proud of him. She will never give him anything. And it's the root of everything that he does. It's so interesting.
I like Nora Ephron's I Think I Hate my neck or I hate my neck. So good anything that related so much, Like, Yeah, I just remember one line she said something like, I have been to so many rock concerts with so many incredible bands and incredible musicians, and every time, all I'm thinking is where are we going to dinner afterwards? And what will I order?
It makes me feel so good because we were at a museum yesterday and that's all I was thinking of the entire time. See, I feel so seen. I was at this museum. People are doing what like people at museums love looking at art. I just don't buy it. I think they just want to be like we went to the museum today, Like they just go to it so they can say they did it. They don't actually like you see a couple of things that you go, that's cool, but ninety percent of stuff in museums is you're just like, who kives a shit? You know, like I just don't buy that it's that that it's that cool. But thank god for them, because artist important.
You posted your Instagram stories that were the oh look at Nikki's Instagram stories if they're still up from yesterday, because oh no.
All screenshot them and put them on our with this episode the boy, Thank you boy, Yeah, thank you all right, So go check that out on our Instagram. Check out the podcast on our YouTube channel. Go subscribe. Thank you so much for doing this podcast, Chris and Anya and Brian and Noah, and we will be back in the States for the next iteration of this podcast. Thank you for joining us overseas, and thank you all the besties that have come out to the shows. It's been so much fun. And we'll see you in the States. Uh, don't Bika and just knock those forty before you're forty out.
